I want to spend my life
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Mending broken people
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I want to spend my life
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Removing pain
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Lord, let my words
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Heal a heart that hurts
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I want to spend my life
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Mending broken people
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I want to spend my life
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Mending broken people.
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Hello, and
welcome to 3ABN Today.
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My name is C.A. Murray.
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And allow me once
again to thank you
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for sharing just a
little of your day with us.
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Again to thank
you for your love,
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your prayers, your
support of this ministry,
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to thank you for loving Christ
enough to support His work
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and to assist us in
living the Christ-like life.
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But more than that
in sharing that life
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with the thousands
amens around the world
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who need to hear a
word from the Lord.
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And that's what
you're gonna hear today.
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You are going to
hear a word from the Lord.
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You're gonna hear testimony
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and you're gonna hear one that--
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from one who, and
let me say this right,
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who's been "through the
valley of the shadow of death"
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and come forth with
a word from the Lord
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that He can keep you
even in the darkest of hours
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and through the
roughest of times
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when life drops
some stuff on you
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that you are not expecting.
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You're living your
life, you're going along
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and all of a sudden, one day
your life changes dramatically.
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Question is can God
keep me through that,
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can God walk me through
that, can God save me from that,
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can God put me back on my
feet and back on the road?
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And SaMonna Watts is here
to say, "Oh, yes. He can."
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SaMonna, good to have you
here. Thank you, for having me.
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Praise the Lord. This
is her second visit here.
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She has been with Dr. Lewis
on the Dare to Dream network.
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But we thought the
story important enough
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to bring to
this format and talk,
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spend a little
more time with her
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because she's
got something to say
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and this is something
you will want to hear.
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Sometimes you meet people
and you like them right off.
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SaMonna kind of
has that texture.
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She has a lot to
say for the Lord.
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God has brought
her through some stuff
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and we're gonna
walk our way through that
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and unpack us her story.
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You want to draw close because
she's got some things to say
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about survival, dare I
say, in the midst of the storm
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and through the storm
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and you see this
pretty smiling face,
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there, it belies some
trauma and some drama...
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Yes.
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That God has
brought her through.
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But the upside of
this, the punch line is
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God has indeed brought
her through and her family.
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We're gonna talk
about that just in minute.
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Before we go to our music
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SaMonna I want to
get this a little culture
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because you are from where?
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I'm from Maryland. Maryland.
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DC area. Born in that area?
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Actually I was born in
Arizona. My dad was military.
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Then when I was 11 years
old, we moved to Maryland.
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I've been there
ever since. Ever since.
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Praise the Lord.
Adventist home growing up.
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Oh, yes.
Definitely. Adventist home.
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I was blessed to go to
the Adventist school system,
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you know to be
nurtured in the church.
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No, I don't
take that for granted
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'cause it's a sacrifice
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and so I'm very thankful
that I had that growing up.
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I am...
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being raised in the
church doesn't necessarily mean
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you have an experience with God.
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You know. You know. Very true.
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But you know and I can
identify the time of my life
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and I really
started to get to know God
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for real for myself.
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Now growing up, you know, I did
all that I was supposed to do.
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I had my worship, I went,
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you know, there
wasn't that real connection
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and that
connection for me didn't come
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until I went to
college at Oakwood University,
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now university.
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It was college then.
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And I started to really
have time to spend with God
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and get to know Him
on a different level.
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I was still, I would consider
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in the infancy of
my Christian walk.
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Which is why you made that turn.
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Yeah, that's where
I really, you know,
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can say that my spiritual
walk with Christ began--
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So you didn't have what we call,
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SaMonna, wilderness years.
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I mean, you kind of play that
straight through out your life.
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Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
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I would definitely say that
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I never went way out
the church and came, no.
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I was always kind of, you
know, on the straight narrow,
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but...
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I didn't have that connection
like I needed to have.
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I see and that's
the dangers there
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because we have lot of people
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who are on the street now figure
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I'm not out to drink and drug
and smoke and running around.
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So I have to be de
facto. I got to be right.
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Yeah. Yeah. And
it's not necessarily so.
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Because we're talking about
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personal one on one
relationship with the Lord.
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Yeah, I think, you
know, the devil knows.
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He knows, he knew drugs
and drinks, all that things,
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that wasn't gonna
be an issue for me.
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Right. I was the
good church girl.
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Yeah.
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So he gets you in
other way. He surely does.
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Yes, he gets
you with other ways.
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You have brothers and sisters?
I have a younger sister.
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Her name is Tiffany and
she's actually in Korea.
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Wow. Doing missionary work.
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Oh, praise the Lord.
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And I have a
older sister, Tunica.
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Uh, huh, so you
are the middle girl.
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Yes, yes, yes. Ooh.
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They'd have a lot of
say about middle children.
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What did you study in college?
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Biology. Uh, huh.
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And it's interesting because
when I went to college I--
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First, I didn't
know what I wanted to do
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and when I got there,
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I was like, oh,
I'll be a Biology Major.
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And when I
became a Biology Major,
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I decided, well, what else to do
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but to go to
medical school afterwards.
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Yeah, yeah. And
that's the kicker.
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I mean, really God led me
down that path to work with me.
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Now I've always
been a high achiever.
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I don't consider myself to
be super smart, not at all.
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I just work hard.
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So I got good grades,
I got the scholarships,
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I did everything
that I was supposed to do
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to excel in school.
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Yeah. Yeah. And it worked.
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So when I came to the
end of my Oakwood experience,
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then it was time to
go to medical school,
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that's when some
struggle started to come up.
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I--
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and I began praying,
I was praying earnestly,
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every Friday I'd fast
like, "God, please help me,
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you know, get into school."
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And I look back
and I kind of laugh
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when you really
get to understand God
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'cause I was praying,
"God, get me into school."
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I never prayed,
"Lord, is it Your will for me
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to go to med school?"
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You know, none of
those kind of prayers.
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Yeah, Lord, of
course, I in my decision.
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Yes.
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I know what I'm
doing is right. Yes, yes.
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So, you know, I prayed those
prayers and it took a while
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but you know,
God opened the door
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and I got into medical school.
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And that's when
my faith walk began.
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That's when my faith walk began
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because when I
got to medical school,
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it wasn't easy.
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And everything that I had
done before the working hard
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and getting the good
grades, that was out the window.
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I was working
hard and I was failing.
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And I would say, "God,"
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you know, "what's up with that?"
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I'm here, I'm out of
the Adventist system.
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I'm at Howard
University at this point.
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And you know, it's a
secular school, I'd say.
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And here I am.
I'm upholding Sabbath.
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I'm not studying on
Sabbath, you know, I'm--
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People know
that I'm a Christian,
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they know what I
stand for and I'm failing.
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Yeah.
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When we take test, before
the exams, my study group,
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"Oh, no we can't take a
test till SaMonna prays for us."
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And I'm sitting there,
like, "Lord, I'm praying."
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Right. "They're
passing, I'm failing."
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Then I'm failing, yeah, yeah.
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The Red Sea is
going to open it up here
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'cause it's not happening, yeah.
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So, you know, it
was very frustrating.
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And I remember one of the--
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It was a low moment for me.
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One of the professors
called me into his office.
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This, Howard is a
very caring school,
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and he's like, "I know
how you feel about Sabbath
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but we want you to pass.
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You just need to go
ahead and study on Sabbath.
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And I was like, "you know,
God, what is up with this?"
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This is
embarrassing, I was humiliated.
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Now he came with--
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you know, he had sincere heart
but to me it was embarrassing.
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Here I am trying to do
what's right and I'm failing.
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And so, you know, I passed,
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I made it
through the course work
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but then when it came
to the boards, I failed.
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Wow. I failed.
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They allow you to
take it three times.
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I failed three
times. Are you kidding?
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And I got that letter. Yeah.
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"Thank you but you
will not be coming back."
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What's happening in your--
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and now we're
gonna go to our music
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and hit the pause
button in a second
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but I gotta ask you.
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What's happening in
your head right now?
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On two levels, one,
just your mental state
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and two, is this impacting
your relationship with Jesus?
00:08:40.98\00:08:43.39
Because you could say,
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"Hey, Lord, I'm
doing the right thing.
00:08:45.82\00:08:47.16
I'm doing it like you--
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I'm following the manual
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and it ain't working out right."
00:08:50.13\00:08:51.66
So what's going on in
your head and your heart?
00:08:51.69\00:08:54.06
Okay, so throughout the
process, it's interesting
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because when it came to
the point where I failed,
00:08:56.90\00:09:00.34
it hurt.
00:09:00.37\00:09:01.70
Yeah. Yeah, it hurt.
00:09:01.74\00:09:03.07
And you know,
00:09:03.10\00:09:04.44
I had all my hopes
and dreams in this.
00:09:04.47\00:09:05.81
I have worked hard my whole life
00:09:05.84\00:09:07.94
but in the
process of the failing
00:09:07.98\00:09:10.38
while I was in school.
00:09:10.41\00:09:11.75
I was on my knees so much.
00:09:11.78\00:09:13.82
Every time I took a
test, I was on my knees praying
00:09:13.85\00:09:16.35
so God was building my
relationship with him then.
00:09:16.38\00:09:18.65
Amen. Okay.
00:09:18.69\00:09:20.02
So then when it
finally came to ahead,
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I was like, okay.
00:09:22.06\00:09:23.53
You know, I hurt,
I was embarrassed,
00:09:23.56\00:09:25.03
I was humiliated to go to church
00:09:25.06\00:09:26.43
and it was like, "Our doctor,"
and it's like, "Uh, no."
00:09:26.46\00:09:31.83
So then--
00:09:31.87\00:09:33.64
But I was at peace with
it. I was like "okay, God."
00:09:33.67\00:09:36.77
I didn't question God, I
just heard it in my mind,
00:09:36.81\00:09:39.51
it must not be God's
will for me to do this.
00:09:39.54\00:09:42.08
For whatever
reason He allowed me
00:09:42.11\00:09:43.51
to go down this path,
but it's not His will.
00:09:43.55\00:09:45.38
Okay, so you put
it in the right place.
00:09:45.41\00:09:46.85
You didn't dodge
yourself and say.
00:09:46.88\00:09:48.22
"I'm a dummy, God's not with me,
00:09:48.25\00:09:50.35
it's just," "okay,
this is not God's will
00:09:50.39\00:09:51.72
for my life at
this point of time.
00:09:51.75\00:09:53.09
That's what I assumed
because I worked hard.
00:09:53.12\00:09:55.42
I mean, I put everything
that was in me to do it.
00:09:55.46\00:09:58.13
So I just really concluded that
God must not want me to do it.
00:09:58.16\00:10:02.13
He must not for whatever reason.
00:10:02.16\00:10:03.97
And then I had some
time to reflect on it.
00:10:04.00\00:10:06.10
I didn't really want to do it.
00:10:06.13\00:10:07.47
There you go. I didn't.
00:10:07.50\00:10:08.84
I think it was just because I--
00:10:08.87\00:10:10.37
doctor, you know, your biology,
seems like the right next step.
00:10:10.41\00:10:14.21
But no, and I
was okay with that.
00:10:14.24\00:10:16.64
Yeah. It is a different road.
00:10:16.68\00:10:18.51
And then it's interesting
00:10:18.55\00:10:20.15
because when I
was in high school
00:10:20.18\00:10:21.72
my guidance counselor
told me that I should go,
00:10:21.75\00:10:24.95
I should be a lawyer.
00:10:24.99\00:10:27.69
I didn't listen to her.
00:10:27.72\00:10:29.06
And now that I failed, I'd
start doing these tests online
00:10:32.79\00:10:35.56
and "your personality is
best fit to be an attorney."
00:10:35.60\00:10:38.43
Wow.
00:10:38.47\00:10:39.80
Yeah, I see attorney for you,
00:10:39.83\00:10:41.17
you know, funny
outside, look at you.
00:10:41.20\00:10:43.24
I do, yeah. He worked it out.
00:10:43.27\00:10:44.81
Yeah, praise the Lord.
00:10:44.84\00:10:46.37
Can I tell you
the testimony in that?
00:10:46.41\00:10:47.74
Please.
00:10:47.78\00:10:49.11
Because here is why
since like my God is good.
00:10:49.14\00:10:51.05
Because He knew where I was.
00:10:51.08\00:10:52.41
I was at a low place,
you know, having failed,
00:10:52.45\00:10:54.25
all these
expectations, student loans.
00:10:54.28\00:10:56.79
Yeah, yeah, we are
talking med school.
00:10:56.82\00:10:59.15
Yeah, it's
expensive. That ain't free.
00:10:59.19\00:11:00.52
No, no I was--
00:11:00.56\00:11:01.89
it was expensive.
00:11:01.92\00:11:03.59
But within a couple of months,
00:11:03.63\00:11:07.90
I had applied to law
school, I had aunt call me,
00:11:07.93\00:11:12.33
"You know, SaMonna, I
think God has impressed me
00:11:12.37\00:11:14.00
to tell you to be a lawyer.
00:11:14.04\00:11:15.37
You should go to a law school."
00:11:15.40\00:11:16.74
Took the test at law.
00:11:16.77\00:11:18.11
I applied to law school, got in,
00:11:18.14\00:11:20.84
had Ivy League schools
sending me letters saying,
00:11:20.88\00:11:24.41
"Med school loss is our gain,
00:11:24.45\00:11:25.98
would you please
apply to our school."
00:11:26.01\00:11:28.08
And I think God was just giving
me a boost in my confidence.
00:11:28.12\00:11:29.92
Yeah, little pat on the back,
yeah that kind of thing, yeah.
00:11:29.95\00:11:33.02
And then I got a
full scholarship.
00:11:33.05\00:11:34.52
This all was like,
00:11:34.56\00:11:35.89
"God, you just flip
that whole thing over.
00:11:35.92\00:11:38.13
He flipped it over. I
was like, that's amazing.
00:11:38.16\00:11:40.60
Praise God. Amazing.
00:11:40.63\00:11:41.96
What school did
you end up going to?
00:11:42.00\00:11:43.33
Howard. Howard. Okay.
00:11:43.37\00:11:44.70
I just switched to
find another school.
00:11:44.73\00:11:46.33
I said, Howard,
you're stuck with me.
00:11:46.37\00:11:48.24
We just change buildings.
Yeah, praise the Lord.
00:11:48.27\00:11:50.24
Yeah, I really have a--
00:11:50.27\00:11:52.27
I love Howard. So I
said I want to stay here.
00:11:52.31\00:11:54.38
And also it is
fairly closed to home
00:11:54.41\00:11:55.81
where you grew
up, kind of thing.
00:11:55.84\00:11:57.18
All right, let's put up,
hit the pause button here
00:11:57.21\00:11:58.71
because things are getting
kind of interesting here.
00:11:58.75\00:12:01.32
I need to ask you how did
you met your future husband yet.
00:12:01.35\00:12:03.92
Okay. Yes. Yes.
00:12:03.95\00:12:05.29
I had--
00:12:05.32\00:12:06.65
I knew him from Oakwood. Okay.
00:12:06.69\00:12:08.02
And he actually was at
Howard with us as well.
00:12:08.06\00:12:10.29
But I wasn't thinking about him.
00:12:10.33\00:12:11.66
He's just a
friend. Just a friend.
00:12:11.69\00:12:13.46
So then after I
failed out of med school,
00:12:13.50\00:12:15.53
God was like, "Let me
give this girl, a little help,
00:12:15.56\00:12:17.70
a little something."
00:12:17.73\00:12:19.07
And Van and I got
together in that broken period.
00:12:19.10\00:12:23.47
So you know, God was
giving me a lot of little help.
00:12:23.51\00:12:25.27
He did. Yeah, praise God.
00:12:25.31\00:12:27.98
At what point--
00:12:28.01\00:12:29.34
and then we'll go to our song.
00:12:29.38\00:12:30.71
Did you kind of
know that the Lord
00:12:30.75\00:12:32.08
had a put in your
life kind of for keeps?
00:12:32.11\00:12:34.58
Oh, Van, okay, yeah.
00:12:34.62\00:12:37.39
When we started dating, I was--
00:12:37.42\00:12:38.85
I had the attitude, look I just,
00:12:38.89\00:12:40.66
I had a lot of trauma going on,
just failed out of med school,
00:12:40.69\00:12:43.06
I didn't have time for drama.
00:12:43.09\00:12:44.46
So...
00:12:44.49\00:12:46.49
I was like, "God, if it's you,
00:12:46.53\00:12:48.53
you know, I'm
not gonna press it."
00:12:48.56\00:12:51.07
That was kind of my attitude
00:12:51.10\00:12:52.43
and I remember when
we first started dating,
00:12:52.47\00:12:53.80
I said, you know, this
is what I need in the man.
00:12:53.84\00:12:56.67
I need the man who is
spiritual, I need X, Y, Z.
00:12:56.71\00:12:58.37
And when we first
started dating, "Sorry, man."
00:12:58.41\00:13:02.01
He wasn't, you know,
00:13:02.04\00:13:03.38
he wasn't what I
thought at that was to be.
00:13:03.41\00:13:05.15
Okay.
00:13:05.18\00:13:06.51
And so I prayed
about it, I remember
00:13:06.55\00:13:07.88
I talked to one of
my friends' mother.
00:13:07.92\00:13:10.32
She's a pastor and
we talked about it.
00:13:10.35\00:13:11.69
She said, "SaMonna,
just give him sometime,
00:13:11.72\00:13:13.52
let God work it out."
00:13:13.56\00:13:15.26
And then next thing you know...
00:13:15.29\00:13:18.03
Sabbath school
lessons together every morning
00:13:18.06\00:13:19.56
and just everything that
I wanted I saw it in Van.
00:13:19.59\00:13:22.33
Oh, praise God.
00:13:22.36\00:13:23.70
And I thank God
because the journey of my life,
00:13:23.73\00:13:25.93
I couldn't do without--
00:13:25.97\00:13:27.30
with another person.
00:13:27.34\00:13:28.67
He's a strong God-fearing man
00:13:28.70\00:13:30.54
and I was like, God
knew that's what I needed.
00:13:30.57\00:13:32.37
And while we're
getting ready, get into,
00:13:32.41\00:13:33.74
you needed a strong
guy for your marriage
00:13:33.78\00:13:35.21
'cause it's about to get
thick here in a few minutes.
00:13:35.24\00:13:37.45
Let's go to our music
done here and come back here
00:13:37.48\00:13:38.98
and kind of walk
through the experience
00:13:39.01\00:13:40.75
because it is
dramatic and traumatic.
00:13:40.78\00:13:43.18
Our music is coming from
Dave and Marlene Colburn.
00:13:43.22\00:13:46.12
Dave is a pianist.
Marlene is a violinist.
00:13:46.15\00:13:48.62
They are husband and wife.
00:13:48.66\00:13:50.13
They play beautifully
together, love each other
00:13:50.16\00:13:53.19
and every time they
come, we have fun with them.
00:13:53.23\00:13:56.20
They're gonna be playing,
"In the Heart of Jesus."
00:13:56.23\00:13:59.13
Well done.
00:16:31.29\00:16:32.62
Thank you so very much,
Dave and Marlene Colburn,
00:16:32.65\00:16:36.12
"In the Heart of Jesus."
00:16:36.16\00:16:37.49
I'm here with SaMonna Watts.
00:16:37.53\00:16:38.86
First, I just
like the name, SaMonna.
00:16:38.89\00:16:40.23
Oh, thank you.
00:16:40.26\00:16:41.60
What's your sisters'
name? Tunica and Tiffany.
00:16:41.63\00:16:43.16
I got the--
00:16:44.37\00:16:45.70
Tiffany is, you know, so
I don't want to say regular,
00:16:45.73\00:16:47.70
you know, it's a
more popular name.
00:16:47.74\00:16:50.04
So SaMonna was bit different.
00:16:50.07\00:16:52.17
Yeah, your parents
were very explorative.
00:16:52.21\00:16:54.14
Yeah. I like it SaMonna Watts.
00:16:54.21\00:16:56.34
When we left my lady, you
had met your husband to be,
00:16:56.38\00:16:59.65
he was not the
guy of your dreams
00:16:59.68\00:17:01.58
but soon became that.
00:17:01.62\00:17:03.12
Oh, yes.
00:17:03.15\00:17:04.49
And became a
strong Christian which,
00:17:04.52\00:17:09.59
we're gonna find out in
a little bit was he needed
00:17:09.62\00:17:11.29
because you are about
ready to go through some stuff.
00:17:11.33\00:17:12.89
So you got married.
Did you finish law school?
00:17:12.93\00:17:14.86
Yes, I did. Yes, I did. Uh, huh.
00:17:14.90\00:17:16.50
And I got into a big law job,
you know, we were very excited
00:17:16.53\00:17:21.54
because we got
married when I was in school
00:17:21.57\00:17:23.64
so and he had just
gotten out of school.
00:17:23.67\00:17:25.57
So his salary
wasn't that high yet.
00:17:25.61\00:17:27.21
So we were struggling.
Now what was he doing?
00:17:27.24\00:17:29.24
Physical
therapy. Physical therapy.
00:17:29.28\00:17:30.61
Physical therapy. Okay.
00:17:30.65\00:17:31.98
Yeah, so we were, you
know, things were tight.
00:17:32.01\00:17:34.98
So when I got my
job, it's exciting like,
00:17:35.02\00:17:36.48
"Oh, yes, we
got that money now."
00:17:36.52\00:17:40.12
I got to ask you.
00:17:40.16\00:17:41.49
Going through law school,
was it a same kind of struggle
00:17:41.52\00:17:43.36
as medical school
or did you kind of
00:17:43.39\00:17:44.89
sail through this
a little bit better?
00:17:44.93\00:17:46.63
I sailed through
it. Literally. Yeah.
00:17:46.66\00:17:48.16
I was like, this is--
00:17:48.20\00:17:49.53
it was just so much
different, there was no stress.
00:17:49.56\00:17:51.97
I was like once I
went to med school,
00:17:52.00\00:17:53.34
I can go to any school.
00:17:53.37\00:17:54.70
That's what I felt.
00:17:54.74\00:17:56.07
So it was different,
you know. Yeah. Yeah.
00:17:56.10\00:17:57.44
So this, it wasn't a brand thing
00:17:57.47\00:17:59.04
or an intelligent thing,
it's what you are called to do
00:17:59.07\00:18:01.14
and what you are
not called to do.
00:18:01.18\00:18:02.71
Now you are
functioning in the trajectory
00:18:02.74\00:18:05.38
that God want you do and that
your natural skills go through.
00:18:05.41\00:18:08.12
So you sailed
through law school,
00:18:08.15\00:18:09.48
you get a decent job.
00:18:09.52\00:18:10.85
You're married now. Yes, yes.
00:18:10.89\00:18:12.22
Well, praise the Lord. Yes.
00:18:12.25\00:18:13.59
And marriage is good.
00:18:13.62\00:18:15.92
We are enjoying life
and we come to this point
00:18:15.96\00:18:17.29
where we are--
00:18:17.33\00:18:18.66
it's time to
have the babies now.
00:18:18.69\00:18:20.26
And we tried
and nothing happens.
00:18:20.30\00:18:23.60
We try nothing happens.
00:18:23.63\00:18:25.73
I was like, "God, okay, now.
00:18:26.07\00:18:27.60
I waited till I was married,
00:18:27.64\00:18:29.10
you know, I did, I
did all the right things."
00:18:29.14\00:18:32.27
I'm not having a baby.
00:18:32.31\00:18:34.41
So this is
something we prayed about.
00:18:34.44\00:18:35.78
We really
struggled with it, like,
00:18:35.81\00:18:37.15
you know,
"what's going on, Lord?"
00:18:37.18\00:18:38.51
And we prayed and prayed
and I got a point where I said,
00:18:38.55\00:18:40.18
"Lord, you know what,"
I was claiming the word
00:18:40.22\00:18:42.65
and going through the promises.
00:18:42.68\00:18:44.52
"If you give me a
child, I guarantee you,
00:18:44.55\00:18:47.22
I will raise the child
to be a blessing to you,
00:18:47.26\00:18:50.46
like Hannah did."
00:18:50.49\00:18:52.29
That was my prayer, I
did. I did. And I was serious.
00:18:52.33\00:18:55.16
I was like 'cause you
know, I want a child bad
00:18:55.20\00:18:57.17
but it's no sense having a child
00:18:57.20\00:18:58.53
if the child is
not gonna be in heaven.
00:18:58.57\00:19:00.07
You know, that's
really, it's a waste of time
00:19:00.10\00:19:01.44
having a person
that's gonna be lost.
00:19:01.47\00:19:02.84
So, "Lord I would do
everything in my power
00:19:02.87\00:19:04.94
to raise that child."
00:19:04.97\00:19:06.41
And "God, while I'm asking,
could you give me a boy?"
00:19:06.44\00:19:09.11
That was my prayer. Uh, huh.
00:19:09.14\00:19:11.18
And God answered that prayer.
00:19:11.21\00:19:13.05
He answered it
and we had our son,
00:19:13.08\00:19:15.15
Brayden Caleb Watts.
00:19:15.18\00:19:16.99
And when that happened
I left my law firm job.
00:19:17.02\00:19:19.62
Okay, now you want
to raise your child.
00:19:19.65\00:19:21.49
And became a
stay-at-home mom, you know.
00:19:21.52\00:19:23.89
And I know that's
what God wanted me to do.
00:19:23.93\00:19:26.36
I had been
reading Adventist Home
00:19:26.39\00:19:28.03
and Child guidance and really,
you know, just trying to get
00:19:28.06\00:19:30.57
a strong
foundation for being a mother.
00:19:30.60\00:19:33.27
And I looked at my law firm job
00:19:33.30\00:19:34.97
where the
pressure of billable hours
00:19:35.00\00:19:37.21
and you know, being there
for extensive amount of times.
00:19:37.24\00:19:41.31
I said, no. This is not
falling in line with my values.
00:19:41.34\00:19:44.45
Yeah. So I left.
00:19:44.48\00:19:45.81
That's a major
decision there, SaMonna.
00:19:45.85\00:19:47.18
It's not like, "okay,
I'm going, see you, bye."
00:19:47.22\00:19:49.18
You got to kind of
work your way through that
00:19:49.22\00:19:50.59
'cause first of all,
heavy loss in salary.
00:19:50.62\00:19:52.25
Yes, very heavy loss.
00:19:52.29\00:19:53.69
And I mean, your
husband has a good--
00:19:53.72\00:19:55.72
he was a physical therapist.
00:19:55.76\00:19:57.09
So he's employed,
he's got a good solid job
00:19:57.13\00:19:58.79
but it ain't like a lawyer's job
00:19:58.83\00:20:00.60
where you can build your hours
00:20:00.63\00:20:01.96
and add up and do
what you want to do.
00:20:02.00\00:20:03.33
So you got this loss in salary.
00:20:03.37\00:20:05.40
But you felt it's worth it
00:20:05.43\00:20:06.77
to follow the call
of God as a mother.
00:20:06.80\00:20:09.07
And I actually had
this thought in my head that
00:20:09.10\00:20:12.34
because I'm doing
what God wants me to do,
00:20:12.37\00:20:14.81
he's gonna bless.
00:20:14.84\00:20:18.35
And so again, God, you
know, he was growing me.
00:20:18.38\00:20:21.72
Because God's
blessing us. I was blessed.
00:20:21.75\00:20:24.05
Every thing that we
needed, He supplied.
00:20:24.09\00:20:25.99
Amen.
00:20:26.02\00:20:27.36
It might not have been
the way that I wanted it
00:20:27.39\00:20:29.06
'cause
sometimes, I mean, honestly,
00:20:29.09\00:20:30.43
this is just being real.
00:20:30.46\00:20:31.79
My parents would
buy us grocery sometimes
00:20:31.83\00:20:34.23
because we really
hit, you know, low times.
00:20:34.26\00:20:36.43
And I didn't like that.
00:20:36.46\00:20:37.80
"I'm the high achiever,
God, you know, I've done X,Y,Z.
00:20:37.83\00:20:40.34
I don't want it like that."
00:20:40.37\00:20:41.74
But God, when He says,
He supplies your needs,
00:20:41.77\00:20:43.44
He doesn't tell you
how He's gonna do it.
00:20:43.47\00:20:45.07
Correct. You know.
00:20:45.11\00:20:46.44
Thank God, my
parents were in a position
00:20:46.47\00:20:47.81
to get me groceries
at times that I needed.
00:20:47.84\00:20:49.48
You know, He supplies.
00:20:49.51\00:20:50.85
You know, I got to ask you,
00:20:50.88\00:20:52.21
how is your
husband rolling with this?
00:20:52.25\00:20:53.58
Because he is in this
boat too. Oh, yes, yes.
00:20:53.62\00:20:55.42
Yeah, he's got it or
you got it or so yeah.
00:20:55.45\00:20:57.79
And I got to say it.
Initially I was leading this.
00:20:57.82\00:21:01.42
It took him a
while to come on board,
00:21:01.46\00:21:02.92
you know, throughout the--
00:21:02.96\00:21:04.29
but once the kids
came, I had another child
00:21:04.33\00:21:06.19
right after I had Brayden.
00:21:06.23\00:21:07.56
So how far is the separation
00:21:07.60\00:21:08.93
between Brayden
and your daughter.
00:21:08.96\00:21:10.30
13 months. Okay, so
you got a match set.
00:21:10.33\00:21:11.67
Boy, girl. Okay.
Yeah, best buddies.
00:21:11.70\00:21:14.04
Best buddies.
00:21:14.07\00:21:15.40
So you know, and
it was challenging
00:21:15.44\00:21:16.87
and we had challenging
times but the benefit of seeing
00:21:16.91\00:21:20.68
how the children
were being raised
00:21:20.71\00:21:22.48
and you know, he'd come home
from work there, they're like--
00:21:22.51\00:21:24.78
it's so excited, you know,
00:21:24.81\00:21:26.55
not having to
shuffle them around.
00:21:26.58\00:21:28.35
After a while he
was there too. Yeah.
00:21:28.38\00:21:30.09
He appreciated it.
00:21:30.12\00:21:31.45
So I'm getting the
feeling that the flavor
00:21:31.49\00:21:32.85
that you were good
mother, caring mother.
00:21:32.89\00:21:34.86
Raising your children, you know,
00:21:34.89\00:21:36.22
as God was blessing you,
doing all the right stuff.
00:21:36.26\00:21:39.93
But all the right
stuff doesn't mean
00:21:39.96\00:21:41.30
that something not
gonna stick in there.
00:21:41.33\00:21:42.73
So walk us
through the experience,
00:21:42.76\00:21:44.33
the change, yeah.
00:21:44.37\00:21:45.90
So I am--
00:21:45.93\00:21:49.27
time has passed and
Brayden is now five years old
00:21:49.30\00:21:53.27
and this is the
child that I prayed for.
00:21:53.31\00:21:54.64
Yes.
00:21:54.68\00:21:56.01
And things are going, you
know, they are going okay.
00:21:56.04\00:21:59.35
With the kids,
things are going perfect.
00:21:59.38\00:22:01.72
And one day, it was early 2014.
00:22:01.75\00:22:07.36
He says, "Mommy, my head hurts."
00:22:07.39\00:22:10.46
And that phrase, that statement
00:22:10.49\00:22:12.96
was going to change our lives
forever and we had no idea.
00:22:12.99\00:22:16.97
And he continued to
complain about his head hurting.
00:22:17.00\00:22:19.73
I took him to the doctor,
you know, what's going on
00:22:19.77\00:22:21.64
and the doctor said
"it's probably migraines, mom."
00:22:21.67\00:22:25.24
It didn't set right with
me that it could be migraines.
00:22:25.27\00:22:28.48
It just didn't set right.
00:22:28.51\00:22:30.08
So we went home and
he gave a list of things
00:22:30.11\00:22:32.28
to avoid in his diet to see
if we could rule out migraines.
00:22:32.31\00:22:38.35
He kept complaining.
00:22:38.39\00:22:39.72
And when he was sleeping,
in the middle of the night,
00:22:39.75\00:22:41.29
he screamed, "My head hurts."
00:22:41.32\00:22:43.63
Bless his heart.
Yeah, I was traumatized.
00:22:43.66\00:22:46.23
Giving him medic...
00:22:46.26\00:22:47.60
Advil and to what
children's Tylenol
00:22:47.63\00:22:49.66
or things like
that eases head pain.
00:22:49.70\00:22:51.67
Yeah. Nothing was working.
00:22:51.70\00:22:53.10
So I went right
back to the doctor.
00:22:53.13\00:22:57.04
Was Brayden by
nature, a complainer?
00:22:57.07\00:22:59.31
Was he pretty
compliant child? Oh, no.
00:22:59.34\00:23:00.71
So if he is
complaining about head hurts
00:23:00.74\00:23:02.98
it's 'cause his head is hurt.
00:23:03.01\00:23:04.35
Yeah, his head is hurting.
00:23:04.38\00:23:05.71
As a matter of fact,
when he first started
00:23:05.75\00:23:07.08
complaining
about his head hurting,
00:23:07.12\00:23:08.72
we took them out to
eat and he loves burgers.
00:23:08.75\00:23:12.59
Veggie Burgers, he loves them.
00:23:12.62\00:23:13.96
And we are at Red Robin
and we ordered him his burger
00:23:13.99\00:23:16.62
and he couldn't eat.
00:23:16.66\00:23:18.49
And my child was eater. Yeah.
00:23:18.53\00:23:21.83
So that kind of
like, okay, he's hurting.
00:23:21.86\00:23:25.03
So I took him back
to the doctor and again,
00:23:25.07\00:23:27.20
"Mom, I don't see anything."
00:23:27.24\00:23:28.74
But we do some tests, we do
some imaging just to make sure.
00:23:28.77\00:23:31.81
So I took Brayden, I
had the prescription,
00:23:31.84\00:23:33.81
I went to the imaging
clinic, they did the imaging
00:23:33.84\00:23:36.18
and I didn't hear anything back.
00:23:36.21\00:23:37.81
And so my mind, if I don't
hear anything back, he's okay.
00:23:37.85\00:23:40.08
That he's fine. He's fine, yeah.
00:23:40.12\00:23:41.45
So I called the
doctor, called the doctor,
00:23:41.48\00:23:43.12
couple of days later
and he's like, "yeah,
00:23:43.15\00:23:44.49
you know, the
test came back fine,
00:23:44.52\00:23:45.95
there's nothing
serious to worry about.
00:23:45.99\00:23:49.69
Don't worry, mom,
follow the protocol."
00:23:49.72\00:23:52.23
And in a month or
maybe he said three weeks
00:23:52.26\00:23:54.83
touch back with
me and we'll see.
00:23:54.86\00:23:57.43
I didn't feel that peace.
00:23:57.47\00:23:59.13
As soon as I had that
conversation with him,
00:23:59.17\00:24:01.90
Brayden's complains continued
and I called another doctor.
00:24:01.94\00:24:05.67
And he said "take
that child to Children's."
00:24:05.71\00:24:07.81
Children's.
00:24:07.84\00:24:09.18
And I called Children's Hospital
00:24:09.21\00:24:10.55
to make a appointment.
00:24:10.58\00:24:11.91
They have a long
waiting list. Sure.
00:24:11.95\00:24:13.92
And that evening I went home
00:24:13.95\00:24:15.95
and then in middle of the night,
00:24:15.98\00:24:17.92
he started screaming again.
00:24:17.95\00:24:19.29
And my husband and I
found ourselves with him
00:24:19.32\00:24:20.76
in the emergency room.
00:24:20.79\00:24:22.32
And while we were there,
00:24:22.36\00:24:23.69
you know, they
did lots of testing.
00:24:23.73\00:24:25.06
And when we first got there,
00:24:25.09\00:24:27.00
they asked him to
walk a straight line.
00:24:27.03\00:24:28.86
Now I have a medical
background and my husband,,
00:24:28.90\00:24:30.60
he's in the medical field.
00:24:30.63\00:24:31.97
So when Brayden started to walk,
00:24:32.00\00:24:34.60
he was stumbling
all over and I was like,
00:24:34.64\00:24:37.87
this is something serious.
00:24:37.91\00:24:39.24
Yeah, you had
not seen that before.
00:24:39.27\00:24:40.61
No, I hadn't seen it before.
So he just, he could not.
00:24:40.64\00:24:43.78
It's like, oh, Lord.
00:24:43.81\00:24:45.31
So there at the
end of the evening,
00:24:45.35\00:24:46.68
after we had all
the testing was done
00:24:46.72\00:24:48.18
and the test results came
back, the doctor called us in
00:24:48.22\00:24:52.55
to talk to us and he
called us into a room
00:24:52.59\00:24:55.32
separate from the
room where Brayden was
00:24:55.36\00:24:57.46
and he closed
the door behind us.
00:24:57.49\00:24:59.29
And I remember my husband
00:24:59.33\00:25:00.66
looking at me
like, that's not good.
00:25:00.70\00:25:02.80
Yeah, yeah.
00:25:02.83\00:25:05.17
And when the doctor sat us down,
00:25:05.20\00:25:07.24
he told us that they have found
two masses on Brayden's brain.
00:25:07.27\00:25:11.61
And I just remembered
sitting there in shock.
00:25:11.64\00:25:13.98
I literally was in shock.
00:25:14.01\00:25:16.91
And the interesting
thing is that the doctor,
00:25:16.95\00:25:19.81
he was so kind
but he said something
00:25:19.85\00:25:21.48
that will forever be in my
mind or the goodness of God.
00:25:21.52\00:25:24.85
He looked at us and he said,
00:25:24.89\00:25:27.29
"I can see the Holy
Spirit all over you guys."
00:25:27.32\00:25:30.53
And for me, that kind
of just gave me confidence
00:25:30.56\00:25:35.06
that God was with us
even in this great tragic,
00:25:35.10\00:25:39.43
you know, this news
that we were getting
00:25:39.47\00:25:41.00
that was not good.
00:25:41.04\00:25:42.64
Was this an Adventist doctor?
00:25:42.67\00:25:44.01
No. It was not. Okay.
00:25:44.04\00:25:45.97
He was just a doctor that
was there when he said that.
00:25:46.01\00:25:48.44
But he was a Christian,
00:25:48.48\00:25:49.81
you know, he told us afterwards.
00:25:49.84\00:25:51.18
"I'm a Christian, I can see
that you guys are Christians."
00:25:51.21\00:25:52.68
And so on so forth.
00:25:52.71\00:25:55.28
So I remembered
leaving that room.
00:25:55.32\00:25:57.52
And I didn't go back into
the room where Brayden was.
00:25:57.55\00:25:59.25
I walked down the
hallway and literally my legs,
00:25:59.29\00:26:03.06
I thought they were
gonna give out on me.
00:26:03.09\00:26:04.53
I was in shock.
00:26:04.56\00:26:05.89
And I walked down the
hallway and this nurse,
00:26:05.93\00:26:07.33
she came and she grabbed me
00:26:07.36\00:26:09.26
and she pulled me
into this room on the side.
00:26:09.30\00:26:11.50
She says, "Here,
you can sit in here."
00:26:11.53\00:26:13.30
And she closed the door.
00:26:13.34\00:26:15.07
And I just
collapsed to the ground.
00:26:15.10\00:26:16.77
I was crying out to
God, you know, I was in pain.
00:26:16.81\00:26:20.61
And here is
what I told the Lord.
00:26:20.64\00:26:21.98
I said, "God, if I have to go
through this trial of Brayden,
00:26:22.01\00:26:26.11
I will not speak for you."
00:26:26.15\00:26:28.98
And here's why I said that.
00:26:29.02\00:26:30.99
'Cause I think it was literally
I wrote it in my journal,
00:26:31.02\00:26:34.32
less than three months earlier,
it might've been two months,
00:26:34.36\00:26:37.29
I had been praying and
I had been wrestling God
00:26:37.33\00:26:39.29
with my purpose.
00:26:39.33\00:26:40.66
"What is my purpose, God?
00:26:40.70\00:26:42.13
I had a career
00:26:42.16\00:26:43.50
even though I was
a stay-at-home mom.
00:26:43.53\00:26:44.87
You know, I had the credentials,
00:26:44.90\00:26:46.23
I could go out
and get a law job,
00:26:46.27\00:26:47.60
I could do all
these other things.
00:26:47.64\00:26:48.97
But what is my purpose?
00:26:49.00\00:26:50.41
I want to be fulfilled
00:26:50.44\00:26:51.77
and I was wrestling
with God about this.
00:26:51.81\00:26:54.08
And through my wrestling,
00:26:54.11\00:26:55.61
He showed me clearly
that He wanted me to speak.
00:26:55.64\00:26:58.21
And to that, I was excited.
00:26:58.25\00:26:59.58
You know, I've been
running my mouth for years.
00:26:59.61\00:27:00.95
So it was like, "Well,
that's perfect. Okay, yeah."
00:27:00.98\00:27:03.52
And so then I, you know,
in my prayer time I asked God,
00:27:03.55\00:27:06.12
I said, "Well, what is it that
I was supposed to speak about?"
00:27:06.15\00:27:09.52
And I know I
wanted to motivate people.
00:27:09.56\00:27:11.59
That was in my heart.
00:27:11.63\00:27:13.46
And I did my
spiritual gifts' test
00:27:13.50\00:27:16.06
and my spiritual gifts
were faith and exhortation.
00:27:16.10\00:27:18.73
Wow.
00:27:18.77\00:27:20.10
So, you know, I went
to that and I looked back
00:27:20.14\00:27:21.57
in my journal and years back,
at camp meeting I taken a test
00:27:21.60\00:27:24.47
and it was
faith and exhortation.
00:27:24.51\00:27:26.34
Sounds like, "Okay, God, I want
to encourage people in You."
00:27:26.37\00:27:29.31
So here I am in
the hospital, I'm like,
00:27:29.34\00:27:31.51
light bulbs were going off.
00:27:31.55\00:27:33.68
Oh, no, not this way,
you know, not this way.
00:27:33.72\00:27:36.58
If you--
00:27:36.62\00:27:37.95
I know people
who've encouraged me.
00:27:37.99\00:27:39.32
They are people who have
usually gone through hell
00:27:39.35\00:27:42.66
and they come back and they
have story to minister to you.
00:27:42.69\00:27:44.56
Precisely.
00:27:44.59\00:27:45.93
And I was like, I
don't want that to be me.
00:27:45.96\00:27:47.30
There's enough
people out there, God,
00:27:47.33\00:27:48.66
who're going through trouble.
00:27:48.70\00:27:50.03
Yeah. Yeah.
00:27:50.07\00:27:52.23
No. I don't need
this. You can keep that.
00:27:52.27\00:27:56.30
Now you had
mentioned something too
00:27:56.34\00:27:57.67
and we were talking,
you had said something,
00:27:57.71\00:27:59.27
a day before Brayden complained
it was first headache.
00:27:59.31\00:28:02.34
Yes, yes, I
did. You recall that?
00:28:02.38\00:28:04.38
I said, my husband and
I were talking and I said,
00:28:04.41\00:28:06.92
you know what,
we're just talking
00:28:06.95\00:28:08.42
'cause we were
struggling with the finances
00:28:08.45\00:28:10.49
and just you know, God,
why haven't you fix this
00:28:10.52\00:28:13.42
or helped a little bit more
00:28:13.46\00:28:14.79
seeing that
we're doing Your will.
00:28:14.82\00:28:16.59
We believe we
are doing your will
00:28:16.62\00:28:17.96
by having me stay at home.
00:28:17.99\00:28:20.13
And I said, you know...
00:28:20.16\00:28:21.50
we got to conquer this
part because money is nothing.
00:28:23.30\00:28:27.54
Sometimes, God has to
touch one of our children
00:28:27.57\00:28:29.74
to grow our faith.
00:28:29.77\00:28:32.04
And the next day,
"Mommy, my head hurts."
00:28:32.07\00:28:34.98
You know, I was
like, "Lord, Lord."
00:28:35.01\00:28:37.78
So I have all these
thoughts going in my head.
00:28:37.81\00:28:41.68
Going in my head and I am...
00:28:41.72\00:28:45.72
and another ironic thing
is I tried to apply for a job,
00:28:45.75\00:28:48.76
you know, I was like, okay,
00:28:48.79\00:28:50.13
maybe I need to go back to work.
00:28:50.16\00:28:51.49
I'm wrestling
with what I should do
00:28:51.53\00:28:53.16
and I applied for
a law job at a firm.
00:28:53.19\00:28:56.16
And so I had this
interview with the partner
00:28:56.20\00:29:00.04
and we are talking and honestly,
00:29:00.07\00:29:01.70
at this age
where I am in my life,
00:29:01.74\00:29:03.54
I'm not gonna just say what you
want me to say to get the job.
00:29:03.57\00:29:06.57
You know, I'm very transparent,
very open because I believe
00:29:06.61\00:29:09.41
that God has a job
for me and it's for me.
00:29:09.44\00:29:10.91
Yes. And so we are talking.
00:29:10.95\00:29:12.31
We are having this conversation.
00:29:12.35\00:29:13.68
He asked me one question.
00:29:13.72\00:29:15.05
He said, "What would you do
00:29:15.08\00:29:17.12
if one of your
children got sick?"
00:29:17.15\00:29:19.05
You know, and I know
what I would do in my heart
00:29:22.09\00:29:23.73
and he sensed it.
00:29:23.76\00:29:25.29
He was like "you're not
ready to come back to work."
00:29:25.33\00:29:28.53
That was literally
but then it was then--
00:29:28.56\00:29:32.43
was January 17.
00:29:32.47\00:29:33.87
So it was a
month before Brayden,
00:29:33.90\00:29:36.40
almost to the day,
00:29:36.44\00:29:37.77
Brayden began
complaining about his headaches.
00:29:37.81\00:29:39.14
Okay.
00:29:39.17\00:29:40.51
But there is
something very amazing
00:29:40.54\00:29:42.38
when I'm having
this talk with God
00:29:42.41\00:29:44.41
and I'm on the
floor crying out to him.
00:29:44.45\00:29:47.45
God told me as clear as day,
00:29:47.48\00:29:49.25
this is one of
those few times in my life
00:29:49.28\00:29:50.99
where I'm like God, I
heard the voice of God.
00:29:51.02\00:29:53.72
I'm crying and
He said, "SaMonna,
00:29:53.76\00:29:55.59
what makes you
think I won't bring you
00:29:55.62\00:29:57.53
through this trial victorious.
00:29:57.56\00:29:59.39
It was so
comforting, it was so amazing
00:29:59.43\00:30:02.33
that I literally, I was filled
with supernatural strength.
00:30:02.36\00:30:05.67
That strength
that you can't explain.
00:30:05.70\00:30:07.84
And I got up off my
knees, dried my tears
00:30:07.87\00:30:10.51
and I was strengthened
to walk through this trial.
00:30:10.54\00:30:13.24
Now you didn't know exactly
at that point what that meant.
00:30:13.27\00:30:15.58
Oh, no. I had no idea.
00:30:15.61\00:30:17.41
You know, 'cause He didn't
say He was gonna heal Brayden.
00:30:17.45\00:30:19.28
He didn't say
anything. He said victory.
00:30:19.31\00:30:21.18
Victory.
00:30:21.22\00:30:22.55
So I was claiming victory
00:30:22.58\00:30:25.19
and I had this
strength to go through.
00:30:25.22\00:30:26.99
Now I can tell you
death was not a option.
00:30:27.02\00:30:30.13
I just kind of kicked
that out of my head, you know.
00:30:30.16\00:30:32.66
Healing is the only option
00:30:32.69\00:30:34.76
and victory is going to be this.
00:30:34.80\00:30:37.57
So from there, they told us
00:30:37.60\00:30:39.60
we had to go
Children's Hospital immediately.
00:30:39.63\00:30:42.50
So I said, "Okay,
we'll get in the car."
00:30:42.54\00:30:43.87
He said, no, no, no.
00:30:43.91\00:30:45.24
This is too serious
00:30:45.27\00:30:46.61
and they had to
transport us to Children's.
00:30:46.64\00:30:49.64
And when we got
there, it's like every time
00:30:49.68\00:30:51.85
I met with the doctor,
it was like, more bad news.
00:30:51.88\00:30:54.38
He said to us, you know,
00:30:54.42\00:30:56.05
they did send their
preliminary testing.
00:30:56.08\00:30:57.95
Oh, this is serious.
00:30:57.99\00:30:59.32
We need to have
brain surgery immediately.
00:30:59.35\00:31:01.02
So in a couple...
00:31:01.06\00:31:02.39
So you're getting, I mean,
they are dumping stuff on you,
00:31:02.42\00:31:03.76
I mean, you're getting
it run right after left,
00:31:03.79\00:31:05.13
right, left, right, left.
00:31:05.16\00:31:06.49
Whammy after
whammy after whammy.
00:31:06.53\00:31:09.33
So it's a lot,
it's a lot to take in.
00:31:09.36\00:31:11.20
Seriously, the net
day, the next hour,
00:31:11.23\00:31:12.70
the next couple of
days a month later.
00:31:12.73\00:31:14.44
Yeah, it was--
we left Children's,
00:31:14.47\00:31:16.64
we got to, I mean,
00:31:16.67\00:31:18.11
we left our emergency room.
00:31:18.14\00:31:20.31
Got to Children's.
00:31:20.34\00:31:21.68
That day we have
to have brain surgery.
00:31:21.71\00:31:24.58
But they had to
wait till the Monday.
00:31:24.61\00:31:26.72
So in a couple of days
00:31:26.75\00:31:28.45
they had this surgery on Monday.
00:31:28.48\00:31:29.82
Wow.
00:31:29.85\00:31:31.19
They had this surgery
and while we were waiting,
00:31:31.22\00:31:33.22
'cause you know,
we're waiting for long time.
00:31:33.25\00:31:35.19
The surgery, I think it
was supposed to be four hours.
00:31:35.22\00:31:37.09
We might have sat
out there for six.
00:31:37.13\00:31:38.63
So your nerves and I'm praying,
00:31:38.66\00:31:40.00
I'm praying like,
00:31:40.03\00:31:41.36
"God, please let
this be the end of it,
00:31:41.40\00:31:42.73
let them it's just a
cyst, you know, this is it."
00:31:42.76\00:31:46.30
And when I was praying
00:31:46.33\00:31:47.67
it was like the
Spirit said to me,
00:31:47.70\00:31:49.04
"The testimony
isn't great enough."
00:31:49.07\00:31:50.97
I thought, Lord.
00:31:51.01\00:31:52.61
And low and behold,
the doctor came out,
00:31:52.64\00:31:54.34
he was like,
"The surgery was fine.
00:31:54.38\00:31:56.21
We got it all.
00:31:56.24\00:31:57.58
But there's more
concerning news."
00:31:57.61\00:31:59.11
He said this is cancer.
00:31:59.15\00:32:01.42
I was like, okay, Lord. Okay.
00:32:01.45\00:32:03.75
Couple of days later, you know,
00:32:03.79\00:32:05.12
once they get
all the testing done,
00:32:05.15\00:32:06.62
you know, the real testing.
00:32:06.65\00:32:07.99
They can tell us what
we're actually dealing with.
00:32:08.02\00:32:09.69
We found
ourselves in the meeting
00:32:09.72\00:32:11.29
with out medical staff.
00:32:11.33\00:32:13.53
Pre-doctors and the nurse
and we're sitting in there
00:32:13.56\00:32:16.30
and they have all these
papers that kind of tell us
00:32:16.33\00:32:18.00
what we're dealing with.
00:32:18.03\00:32:19.67
And that
conversation, have mercy,
00:32:19.70\00:32:22.07
in the middle of
the conversation,
00:32:22.10\00:32:23.44
I just had to tell
them, "Please stop talking,
00:32:23.47\00:32:27.14
while I gather myself together."
00:32:27.18\00:32:29.24
Because that's when they told us
00:32:29.28\00:32:30.61
that Brayden
had Medulloblastoma,
00:32:30.65\00:32:32.55
high stage, high grade.
00:32:32.58\00:32:34.88
And Medulloblastoma
is a type of cancer,
00:32:34.92\00:32:37.65
it's a pediatric brain cancer
00:32:37.69\00:32:39.02
that generally
affects little boys from birth
00:32:39.05\00:32:42.12
but generally
around age 2 to 10.
00:32:42.16\00:32:44.13
Wow.
00:32:44.16\00:32:46.26
And I remember
asking them, well,
00:32:46.29\00:32:48.60
the tumor I think my picture,
the tumor was like that big.
00:32:48.63\00:32:52.63
And I said, you know,
00:32:52.67\00:32:54.00
if we had come in
sooner would it been different?
00:32:54.04\00:32:57.04
How long has this
been growing and he said,
00:32:57.07\00:32:58.97
"Mom, it probably was
growing in a matter of weeks.
00:32:59.01\00:33:01.94
That's how fast and aggressive
this particular tumor is.
00:33:01.98\00:33:04.01
So this is not like you can save
00:33:04.05\00:33:05.38
if you got here last
year, we'd had some--
00:33:05.41\00:33:07.12
this is just a
rapid, aggressive tumor.
00:33:07.15\00:33:10.12
Yeah, it's what it is.
00:33:10.15\00:33:11.72
So they told us that-
basically I had a 50 percent,
00:33:11.75\00:33:14.42
50 chance of life for Brayden.
00:33:14.46\00:33:17.13
Now, SaMonna, let me ask
you, little boys,, primarily,
00:33:17.16\00:33:21.36
not exclusively but primarily...
00:33:21.40\00:33:23.77
What are the odds, I mean,
how many, common, rare, what?
00:33:23.80\00:33:29.27
One in a million. Wow. Wow.
00:33:29.30\00:33:33.78
And what are those odds anyways?
00:33:33.81\00:33:35.74
God, I prayed for the
child and this is what you do?
00:33:35.78\00:33:38.51
I mean, you know, God doesn't,
00:33:38.55\00:33:39.98
I don't want to even put
that out there, you know.
00:33:40.02\00:33:42.62
He's a good God but,
yeah, one in a million.
00:33:42.65\00:33:45.42
One in a million. Yeah.
00:33:45.45\00:33:46.92
So actually as I rephrase that,
00:33:46.96\00:33:48.46
it was our
privilege to be the parents
00:33:48.49\00:33:50.83
of the one in a
million, you know.
00:33:50.86\00:33:52.19
The one in a million child. Wow.
00:33:52.23\00:33:53.93
But I mean, and all
other stuff has an I mean,
00:33:53.96\00:33:56.36
God can understand.
00:33:56.40\00:33:58.57
A cancellation of things
that running through your mind,
00:33:58.60\00:34:00.17
this is a child of promise.
00:34:00.20\00:34:01.54
I prayed for this
child. Does he not?
00:34:01.57\00:34:02.90
You know. Yeah, he
was answer to prayer.
00:34:02.94\00:34:04.27
Yeah. Answer to prayer.
00:34:04.31\00:34:05.64
And now I'm gonna
about to lose him.
00:34:05.67\00:34:07.04
Yeah. And...
00:34:07.08\00:34:09.64
At that point had it
got to you into your head,
00:34:09.68\00:34:12.45
you had to had it sunk in
that maybe I might lose this,
00:34:12.48\00:34:14.62
I might lose my son?
00:34:14.65\00:34:15.98
Okay, well, what
I told the doctors.
00:34:16.02\00:34:18.92
I blocked it
out and I told them,
00:34:18.95\00:34:21.06
I don't want to hear any story
about a child that was lost.
00:34:21.09\00:34:23.83
Tell me the child,
00:34:23.86\00:34:25.19
the children in that
who has survived this.
00:34:25.23\00:34:26.93
That's all I want to hear.
00:34:26.96\00:34:28.30
I won't hear any,
not that it's negative.
00:34:28.33\00:34:29.66
You know, I don't
want to hear those facts.
00:34:29.70\00:34:31.03
Yeah, yeah.
00:34:31.07\00:34:32.40
And he started to tell me
but he had like two examples.
00:34:32.43\00:34:38.27
Two examples, you know there are
00:34:38.31\00:34:39.64
couple of
examples in the children
00:34:39.67\00:34:41.01
that they worked with.
00:34:41.04\00:34:42.38
I was like, fine. You
know, it doesn't matter.
00:34:42.41\00:34:44.01
Yeah. There is no examples.
00:34:44.05\00:34:45.38
God can do it for
my baby. He can do it.
00:34:45.41\00:34:47.82
And then they went
through the treatment.
00:34:47.85\00:34:50.62
If the diagnosis
wasn't bad enough,
00:34:50.65\00:34:52.15
the treatment was
enough to take you under.
00:34:52.19\00:34:54.06
Wow.
00:34:54.09\00:34:55.42
They told us he had to
have high doses of radiation
00:34:55.46\00:34:58.16
and it was so high
00:34:58.19\00:35:00.00
that they don't
even do it in Maryland.
00:35:00.03\00:35:01.96
We had to travel to Philadelphia
00:35:02.00\00:35:03.37
for the specialized
proton radiation treatment.
00:35:03.40\00:35:06.37
Then after that he
would have to seven rounds
00:35:06.40\00:35:08.24
of high dose chemo therapy.
00:35:08.27\00:35:10.44
Now with that.
00:35:10.47\00:35:13.11
He said he was
gonna lose his hearing,
00:35:13.14\00:35:15.61
his growth will be stunted
and my husband is very tall.
00:35:15.64\00:35:18.91
So you know, when I
thought about my child,
00:35:18.95\00:35:20.78
oh, he's gonna grow.
00:35:20.82\00:35:22.15
They were like because
they have to treat his spine
00:35:22.18\00:35:23.92
because it's
central nervous system,
00:35:23.95\00:35:25.29
his brain and the spine,
his trunk will stop growing.
00:35:25.32\00:35:31.23
Oh, wow.
00:35:31.26\00:35:32.59
But his legs
will continue to grow.
00:35:32.63\00:35:36.26
And then mental disabilities.
00:35:36.30\00:35:40.20
'Cause they are
treating the brain.
00:35:40.24\00:35:41.70
So this is a lot, a
lot for me to take in
00:35:41.74\00:35:44.94
and Brayden is
very bright child.
00:35:44.97\00:35:47.68
Very, very, very bright child.
00:35:47.71\00:35:49.74
He was just intelligent.
So I'm just like, no.
00:35:49.78\00:35:53.92
I don't accept this. Yeah.
00:35:53.95\00:35:56.18
So we had to deal with that
and we went on to Philadelphia
00:35:56.22\00:35:59.02
where he had his
treatment and it was tough.
00:35:59.05\00:36:02.06
It's just tough for a child.
00:36:02.09\00:36:04.03
You know, there were so many
times, he had to get sticked,
00:36:04.06\00:36:06.76
you know, get his needles,
get a port put in his chest.
00:36:06.80\00:36:09.73
Traumatizing for the
child and what hurt more is that
00:36:09.76\00:36:13.03
I had to
physically hold him down.
00:36:13.07\00:36:16.50
He's screaming and kicking,
00:36:16.54\00:36:17.87
"Mommy, please don't
let them do this to me."
00:36:17.91\00:36:19.47
And I have to be
the one to do it.
00:36:19.51\00:36:20.94
Tears coming down my face.
00:36:20.98\00:36:22.58
I was like, "God, this is a lot.
00:36:22.61\00:36:23.98
This is a lot.
00:36:24.01\00:36:25.88
And you know, by the end
of the radiation treatment,
00:36:25.91\00:36:28.02
he had become a big boy.
00:36:28.05\00:36:29.72
He was the big
boy the whole time.
00:36:29.75\00:36:31.09
He's five, I mean,
you know, he's five.
00:36:31.12\00:36:32.45
He's five.
00:36:32.49\00:36:33.82
Yeah, he's not 15
years in that corner.
00:36:33.86\00:36:35.19
He's five.
00:36:35.22\00:36:36.56
But he was able
to-- "I'll do it.
00:36:36.59\00:36:38.99
He just stood still
and he let them do it.
00:36:39.03\00:36:40.73
You know, I was proud of him.
00:36:40.76\00:36:42.23
Yeah, he's accomplished a lot.
00:36:42.26\00:36:44.17
But he-- the funny
memories of the situation is,
00:36:44.20\00:36:48.80
he was a kid,
he had personality.
00:36:48.84\00:36:51.04
And the doctors
would say things to him
00:36:51.07\00:36:52.81
and it just so
happened that one of his doctors
00:36:52.84\00:36:56.21
happened to somebody
that we went to school with,
00:36:56.24\00:36:58.35
you know, so he
was there and you know,
00:36:58.38\00:37:01.55
he had to do some
sticking of Brayden
00:37:01.58\00:37:03.35
and so we came back
with some snacks and said,
00:37:03.39\00:37:05.35
here you go, you
know, we're friends.
00:37:05.39\00:37:07.92
Brayden said, "But
I'm not your friend."
00:37:07.96\00:37:13.13
This I don't forget.
He was like, "No, no, no.
00:37:13.16\00:37:15.56
I'm not your friend."
00:37:15.60\00:37:16.93
You and that needle,
yeah, we are not friends.
00:37:16.97\00:37:19.20
Thank you for the
snack but we are not buddies.
00:37:19.23\00:37:22.40
So you know,
there were those times
00:37:22.44\00:37:24.21
when we could just laugh,
00:37:24.24\00:37:25.57
the personality
would come through
00:37:25.61\00:37:27.84
and they'd ask him questions.
00:37:27.88\00:37:29.21
I remember he had a test.
00:37:29.24\00:37:30.58
They did assessment.
00:37:30.61\00:37:31.95
They want to do
a mental assessment
00:37:31.98\00:37:33.31
to see where he was
00:37:33.35\00:37:34.68
before they
started certain treatment.
00:37:34.72\00:37:36.99
And so they--
before the ladies asked him
00:37:37.02\00:37:38.35
all these questions
00:37:38.39\00:37:39.72
and he just didn't
want to participate.
00:37:39.75\00:37:41.09
Yeah, he did have some
treatment, you know, this.
00:37:41.12\00:37:42.69
he's on steroid, the
stuff that kind of affected him.
00:37:42.72\00:37:45.26
He was totally irritated.
00:37:45.29\00:37:46.80
He was on his meds
and she said, you know,
00:37:46.83\00:37:49.46
"Can you do X,Y,Z?"
00:37:49.50\00:37:51.17
"I will give you
nada." Oh, my, I'm like what?
00:37:51.20\00:37:54.27
And he is not a
disrespectful child at all.
00:37:54.30\00:37:56.81
This is like one of the
most pleasant, well, it's like,
00:37:56.84\00:37:59.44
"okay," that's
what she told him.
00:37:59.47\00:38:00.91
Afterwards she
said, I understand.
00:38:00.94\00:38:02.28
He's very smart.
00:38:02.31\00:38:03.65
He's just
choosing not to do this.
00:38:03.68\00:38:08.15
So we had our
times and we would laugh
00:38:08.18\00:38:09.68
but it was challenging for him.
00:38:09.72\00:38:11.05
Oh, yes. It was
very, very challenging.
00:38:11.09\00:38:12.42
Hard on us, you know,
from one day you are at home,
00:38:12.45\00:38:15.09
you know, living life regular
and we weren't at home anymore.
00:38:15.12\00:38:18.29
We lived in a hospital.
00:38:18.33\00:38:19.66
You know, it
just, the whole life
00:38:19.69\00:38:21.03
has turned upside down.
00:38:21.06\00:38:22.56
And after he finished
his treatment in Philadelphia
00:38:22.60\00:38:25.53
at their Children's
Hospital, we came back
00:38:25.57\00:38:27.97
and it was time to start chemo.
00:38:28.00\00:38:30.14
And I remember, I was
just in nerves about it
00:38:30.17\00:38:33.01
because from what I was
told, chemo is the real kicker,
00:38:33.04\00:38:36.71
you know, he makes it
through the radiation,
00:38:36.75\00:38:38.15
chemo was the real kicker.
00:38:38.18\00:38:39.88
And so we had a meeting
with the doctors and they said,
00:38:39.91\00:38:43.69
I remember he had a little
lump on the back of his neck
00:38:43.72\00:38:47.19
and I went to them
and I was like, you know.
00:38:47.22\00:38:48.89
And the doctor
said, "Um, a lymph node."
00:38:48.92\00:38:51.83
This kind of cancer does not
00:38:51.86\00:38:53.19
come out of the
central nervous system.
00:38:53.23\00:38:54.56
So you won't see it.
00:38:54.60\00:38:56.80
"Don't worry, mom,
it's probably lymph node."
00:38:56.83\00:38:58.40
Okay.
00:38:58.43\00:39:00.04
Then they did some preliminary
testing to start chemo.
00:39:00.07\00:39:02.57
They did the MRIs
00:39:02.60\00:39:03.94
and again he
calls us into the room,
00:39:03.97\00:39:05.47
closes the door.
00:39:05.51\00:39:08.14
"Mom and dad,
we're not starting chemo.
00:39:08.18\00:39:10.38
Your son is going to die."
00:39:10.41\00:39:13.42
Just that dry?
00:39:13.45\00:39:14.78
Yeah, I mean, okay,
I'm saying like that,
00:39:14.82\00:39:16.42
He was-- this
is the good doctor.
00:39:16.45\00:39:17.95
You know, but basically
that's what he said, you know.
00:39:17.99\00:39:19.72
We're gonna have-- we'll
give you a number for Hospice
00:39:19.75\00:39:22.96
but there's no
need for us to do chemo.
00:39:22.99\00:39:26.09
And I was just like
00:39:26.13\00:39:27.66
and the fact that
it came out of his--
00:39:27.70\00:39:29.03
you know, that's unheard of.
00:39:29.06\00:39:30.40
Oh, this-- that was the...
00:39:30.43\00:39:31.77
That was the cancer. Oh, okay.
00:39:31.80\00:39:33.13
It had come out and
it was spreading further.
00:39:33.17\00:39:34.67
So you know, it really, it
was a very, very aggressive.
00:39:34.70\00:39:36.91
Hyper aggressive. Yeah.
00:39:36.94\00:39:38.27
It was bad. It was bad.
00:39:38.31\00:39:39.64
And you know,
literally my-- I was shaking.
00:39:39.67\00:39:43.41
I was, I mean, I
could not control my body.
00:39:43.45\00:39:45.31
I just remembered Van was
crying and it was painful.
00:39:45.35\00:39:52.59
You know, it was
just very painful.
00:39:52.62\00:39:54.52
And I said, you know what,
after that, I said, no, no, no.
00:39:54.56\00:39:57.59
I'm not going out like this.
00:39:57.63\00:39:59.23
I'm gonna fight
for my child's life.
00:39:59.26\00:40:00.90
And we found the doctor,
00:40:00.93\00:40:02.50
an Adventist
doctor who did natural,
00:40:02.53\00:40:04.67
alternative remedy,
alternative medicine,
00:40:04.70\00:40:06.80
excuse me, in Mexico.
00:40:06.84\00:40:09.50
And this was Friday
00:40:09.54\00:40:11.11
when we got this
traumatizing news.
00:40:11.14\00:40:12.54
Yeah.
00:40:12.57\00:40:13.91
So we went home,
you know, Brayden,
00:40:13.94\00:40:15.28
he doesn't know anything.
00:40:15.31\00:40:16.75
I'm so glad, you know,
I'm so glad he was five
00:40:16.78\00:40:18.71
where he didn't
know what was going on.
00:40:18.75\00:40:21.48
But we went home and
we just talked about that,
00:40:21.52\00:40:24.32
"We got to go to this doctor."
00:40:24.35\00:40:25.79
And it was $50,000.
00:40:25.82\00:40:27.82
$50,000 for this
treatment because, you know,
00:40:27.86\00:40:29.86
there's no insurance.
00:40:29.89\00:40:32.59
And I put a post on Facebook.
00:40:32.63\00:40:36.77
You know, just
telling people we need help.
00:40:36.80\00:40:38.63
We had $50,000
and a plane ticket.
00:40:38.67\00:40:41.90
On Monday morning we were out.
00:40:41.94\00:40:43.47
So we are
talking Friday to Monday.
00:40:43.51\00:40:45.47
Yeah. Praise God.
00:40:45.51\00:40:46.84
Yeah, God worked it out
and then we get to Mexico,
00:40:46.88\00:40:50.08
you know, it's again it just,
00:40:50.11\00:40:53.11
the whole thing
is just traumatizing.
00:40:53.15\00:40:54.58
But I'm like God is good
because while we are there,
00:40:54.62\00:40:57.12
we're in this environment
where we don't have to cook.
00:40:57.15\00:40:59.02
We don't have to anything.
00:40:59.05\00:41:00.39
You know, the staff there,
00:41:00.42\00:41:01.76
it just kind of
taking care of you,
00:41:01.79\00:41:03.12
they are making you meals,
they are doing everything.
00:41:03.16\00:41:04.49
We could truly focus on Brayden.
00:41:04.53\00:41:05.86
Brayden, sure.
00:41:05.89\00:41:07.23
And Savannah was there with us.
00:41:07.26\00:41:08.60
We were there as a family.
00:41:08.63\00:41:09.96
And it was a good experience.
00:41:10.00\00:41:12.03
Now how old is
Savannah at this point?
00:41:12.07\00:41:13.40
'Cause she's...
00:41:13.44\00:41:14.77
Four. She's four.
00:41:14.80\00:41:16.14
Is she
perceiving any of this? No.
00:41:16.17\00:41:17.61
No, she wasn't. Yeah.
00:41:17.64\00:41:19.41
I mean, she knew
Brayden was sick.
00:41:19.44\00:41:20.98
You see, be in the bed
or you become, you know,
00:41:21.01\00:41:22.61
she knew that...
00:41:22.64\00:41:23.98
Were they close? Oh, yeah.
00:41:24.01\00:41:25.35
Very, very
close. Very, very close.
00:41:25.38\00:41:26.78
I have one of the
videos I have with them.
00:41:26.82\00:41:29.62
It's just so
beautiful I thank God for it.
00:41:29.65\00:41:32.82
We are in the room and
Brayden in his bed sleeping
00:41:32.85\00:41:34.86
and they are just,
they just start singing.
00:41:34.89\00:41:36.66
They start singing a hymn.
00:41:36.69\00:41:38.03
And they were just so
cute and so Savannah is up
00:41:38.06\00:41:39.46
and she's huh and
Brayden in his bed like,
00:41:39.49\00:41:42.66
"Stop it Savannah, stop it."
00:41:42.70\00:41:45.17
You know, there's
just so funny 'cause
00:41:45.20\00:41:46.90
it's like I'm
trying to sing, you dancing
00:41:46.94\00:41:49.00
and doing all this, you know.
00:41:49.04\00:41:51.17
So you know it
was just a blessing
00:41:51.21\00:41:52.91
that they were there together.
00:41:52.94\00:41:54.88
Together. And
then we left there.
00:41:54.91\00:41:58.31
We left and came
back to the States
00:41:58.35\00:41:59.98
and at this point,
00:42:00.02\00:42:01.35
Brayden was in no--
he could not travel back.
00:42:01.38\00:42:03.55
Okay. His
condition had gotten worse.
00:42:03.59\00:42:06.99
While we were at-- in
Mexico, right before we left,
00:42:07.02\00:42:11.73
he had a seizure.
00:42:11.76\00:42:14.76
This is that time thinking God,
00:42:14.80\00:42:16.53
like want to talk about it now
00:42:16.56\00:42:17.90
because this is
one of those things
00:42:17.93\00:42:19.27
I pray that He would
erase out of memory for ever.
00:42:19.30\00:42:20.84
I-- this is the worst.
00:42:20.87\00:42:23.74
The lowest point of the
whole experience for me.
00:42:23.77\00:42:26.94
But I was just talking to
him and he walked to the bed
00:42:26.98\00:42:30.15
and then he started
shaking uncontrollably.
00:42:30.18\00:42:32.21
You know, I've never
seen a seizure before.
00:42:32.25\00:42:33.58
I mean, I know what they
are but I never seen one,
00:42:33.62\00:42:36.02
somebody have one.
00:42:36.05\00:42:37.49
And he was out.
00:42:37.52\00:42:38.85
He was just-- it
lasted 30 minutes.
00:42:38.89\00:42:40.49
Oh, my God. The
place was in such panic.
00:42:40.52\00:42:42.66
The doctor, he's
older, he was literally,
00:42:42.69\00:42:46.73
it was traumatizing for him.
00:42:46.76\00:42:48.66
And I know he thought
that this child was gonna die.
00:42:48.70\00:42:50.87
And I freaked out,
Van got into medical mode,
00:42:50.90\00:42:55.14
he pushed out
through and "SaMonna, go."
00:42:55.17\00:42:57.37
You know he just started
working 'cause even the nurse,
00:42:57.41\00:42:59.97
she was so panicked, she--
everybody was flustered like
00:43:00.01\00:43:02.24
they didn't even know what
to do and Van just got on it.
00:43:02.28\00:43:04.78
And we worked with
him and he was on--
00:43:04.81\00:43:09.38
the doctor
thought he was gonna die.
00:43:09.42\00:43:11.05
Yeah, he kept saying,
you know, "Mom, you know,
00:43:11.09\00:43:14.16
very likely he's gonna die."
00:43:14.19\00:43:16.46
And i just held my
Bible, I kept singing the hymns
00:43:16.49\00:43:19.03
and praying like, "No, no,
God has-- he's not gonna die.
00:43:19.06\00:43:21.93
And I kept
reading the scriptures
00:43:21.96\00:43:23.50
and God allowed
Brayden to survive that.
00:43:23.53\00:43:25.87
Now were you in Mexico now?
This is when we were in Mexico.
00:43:25.90\00:43:27.57
You are still in Mexico.
00:43:27.60\00:43:28.94
Are you still
holding out hope that maybe
00:43:28.97\00:43:30.54
he's gonna pull
through this somehow?
00:43:30.57\00:43:31.91
Oh, yeah.
00:43:31.94\00:43:33.27
At this point I believing a 100%
00:43:33.31\00:43:35.41
that God is gonna heal him.
00:43:35.44\00:43:36.78
Okay. For various reasons.
00:43:36.81\00:43:38.21
I believed a 100%
that God was gonna heal him
00:43:38.25\00:43:40.82
so that was
traumatizing but I was like, no.
00:43:40.85\00:43:43.32
And I just kept praying
and God brought him through.
00:43:43.35\00:43:46.39
But he could. He
was, he's laid there.
00:43:46.42\00:43:48.82
You know, it damaged him. Sure.
00:43:48.86\00:43:50.89
It damaged him.
00:43:50.93\00:43:52.56
So then we were
able to go back to this--
00:43:52.59\00:43:54.86
when we drove
back to California,
00:43:54.90\00:43:56.63
my in-laws are there so
we stayed at their house.
00:43:56.67\00:43:58.37
Okay. And we took
him to Loma Linda.
00:43:58.40\00:44:03.47
You know, I was
very nervous at this time
00:44:03.51\00:44:05.41
'cause I'm back in the States
00:44:05.44\00:44:07.21
and the place
where they've told us
00:44:07.24\00:44:09.18
to put him on Hospice, right?
00:44:09.21\00:44:10.85
So technically he's not
gonna get medical treatment,
00:44:10.88\00:44:13.65
you know, medical treatment
00:44:13.68\00:44:15.02
'cause they are
like, "No, no, no,
00:44:15.05\00:44:16.38
we've done
everything we can do."
00:44:16.42\00:44:17.75
So I was very nervous.
00:44:17.79\00:44:19.12
I didn't want to be
the nurse for Baryden.
00:44:19.15\00:44:21.59
I'm not trained
to do that, you know.
00:44:21.62\00:44:23.93
But we go to Loma
Linda, and this time we're
00:44:23.96\00:44:27.23
and I was just praying like,
00:44:27.26\00:44:28.60
God, let us know
00:44:28.63\00:44:29.96
that the
treatment worked in Mexico.
00:44:30.00\00:44:33.64
And the doctor comes back
after being there all night.
00:44:33.67\00:44:37.34
And this time, I said,
this one took the cake.
00:44:37.37\00:44:39.97
He stood there, I looked at him
00:44:40.01\00:44:41.71
and I could tell by
the look in his eyes,
00:44:41.74\00:44:43.58
he was scared to
come and talk to us.
00:44:43.61\00:44:45.45
Because mean and Van
were like, "We've heard that.
00:44:45.48\00:44:46.82
What else can
you tell us?" Yeah.
00:44:46.85\00:44:48.22
But he came back and
he said. "It's horrific."
00:44:48.25\00:44:54.02
Horrific.
00:44:54.06\00:44:56.49
I was like, Lord.
00:44:56.52\00:44:58.53
It's crazy and
they wanted to keep him.
00:44:58.56\00:45:00.20
They wanted to keep him
just, you know, I guess,
00:45:00.23\00:45:02.56
make him comfortable
so he'll go to sleep.
00:45:02.60\00:45:04.70
I wouldn't let them.
00:45:04.73\00:45:06.07
We went back to
the house and we did,
00:45:06.10\00:45:08.54
get Hospice so we could have
00:45:08.57\00:45:09.90
the medical treatment and stuff.
00:45:09.94\00:45:11.27
But we continued to pray.
00:45:11.31\00:45:12.67
And then one day, this
is why my God is amazing
00:45:14.08\00:45:18.85
and I can tell you
how much I love Him.
00:45:18.88\00:45:20.65
He's an amazing God.
00:45:20.68\00:45:22.72
It kind of dawned
on me, like, SaMonna,
00:45:22.75\00:45:26.52
What if it's God's
will to heal Brayden?
00:45:26.55\00:45:29.62
You know, I've been very public
00:45:29.66\00:45:30.99
about this whole
thing on social media,
00:45:31.03\00:45:32.76
you know, asking for prayers,
00:45:32.79\00:45:34.13
telling people
God's gonna heal Brayden.
00:45:34.16\00:45:36.00
You know, and a
lot of people I'm sure
00:45:36.03\00:45:37.63
because of my conviction
on it, believed it as well.
00:45:37.67\00:45:40.57
Yeah.
00:45:40.60\00:45:41.94
And I just, it hit me
like okay, God's gonna...
00:45:41.97\00:45:44.41
God might not.
00:45:44.44\00:45:46.21
And then I talked about it
00:45:46.24\00:45:47.64
and then I remember
getting on my knees,
00:45:47.68\00:45:49.81
both of us, we got on our
knees next to Brayden's bed
00:45:49.84\00:45:53.15
and I call it the most
crucial prayer I ever prayed
00:45:53.18\00:45:55.55
and we prayed,
00:45:55.58\00:45:57.05
"God if it's Your will
for Brayden to go to sleep,
00:45:57.09\00:46:00.69
we accept it.
00:46:00.72\00:46:02.69
If it's Your will to heal him,
00:46:02.72\00:46:04.46
we accept that, we
really accept that."
00:46:04.49\00:46:05.93
Yeah.
00:46:05.96\00:46:07.30
"But whatever You do I can't
take another minute of this.
00:46:07.33\00:46:10.17
Do it today."
00:46:10.20\00:46:12.73
And while we're on our
knees Brayden went to sleep.
00:46:12.77\00:46:16.64
Oh, my soul.
00:46:16.67\00:46:18.01
And that's why I know,
00:46:18.04\00:46:19.91
I know without a
shadow of a doubt this lasted,
00:46:19.94\00:46:22.51
this whole process
lasted for five months.
00:46:22.54\00:46:25.48
God held that... But
this is fairly rapid.
00:46:25.51\00:46:27.55
I mean, this is
from five, yeah...
00:46:27.58\00:46:29.15
This is quick.
Yeah. Yeah, it is.
00:46:29.18\00:46:32.02
And from the doctors' reports
he should have been dead.
00:46:32.05\00:46:35.69
That's what I was getting.
00:46:35.72\00:46:37.39
You know from the Mexico
he should have been dead,
00:46:37.43\00:46:39.86
even before the seizure
00:46:39.89\00:46:41.23
just with the sheer
aggressiveness of this,
00:46:41.26\00:46:43.50
of this cancer.
00:46:43.53\00:46:45.40
But I was like God in His mercy
00:46:45.43\00:46:47.40
was waiting for
me to get on board
00:46:47.44\00:46:49.44
and truly
understand what it means
00:46:49.47\00:46:50.97
to accept and trust His will.
00:46:51.01\00:46:54.31
Because when baby went
to sleep I was at peace.
00:46:54.34\00:46:57.55
Yeah. I was at peace.
00:46:57.58\00:46:58.91
So in the midst of your
prayer he went to sleep?
00:46:58.95\00:47:00.98
We prayed and it
might have been 10 minutes,
00:47:01.02\00:47:03.28
we were just
sitting there, you know,
00:47:03.32\00:47:04.95
I was kind of meditating on it.
00:47:04.99\00:47:06.35
It might have
been 10 minutes. Okay.
00:47:06.39\00:47:07.89
I'm not even sure 'cause like
time was like standing still.
00:47:07.92\00:47:10.19
Oh, she was compressed.
Yeah, but he went to sleep.
00:47:10.23\00:47:12.83
Wow. And he looks so cute.
00:47:12.86\00:47:14.60
I mean,
honestly I took pictures,
00:47:14.63\00:47:16.00
it might sound weird
00:47:16.03\00:47:17.37
but he looked
adorable laying there in peace.
00:47:17.40\00:47:21.24
And what more...
00:47:21.27\00:47:22.60
I mean honestly as a mother
00:47:22.64\00:47:23.97
I don't want my child to suffer.
00:47:24.01\00:47:25.34
Right. Sure. I
don't want him suffer.
00:47:25.37\00:47:26.94
And for whatever
reason this is what God chose.
00:47:26.98\00:47:31.45
I have a lot of theories on
why God allowed it go this way.
00:47:31.48\00:47:35.52
I am, as I
reflected on the whole thing
00:47:35.55\00:47:38.25
and kind of prayed, you
know, talk to God about it
00:47:38.29\00:47:40.72
because I would
tell Him, you know,
00:47:40.76\00:47:42.42
I prayed specific
prayers about Brayden
00:47:42.46\00:47:44.63
that he would be
someone that will be,
00:47:44.66\00:47:46.80
you know, that you could use.
00:47:46.83\00:47:48.53
And God is like I
answered that prayed.
00:47:48.56\00:47:49.90
Yeah.
00:47:49.93\00:47:51.27
You know in five
years just because of the,
00:47:51.30\00:47:54.17
that the story was
shared I'm telling you,
00:47:54.20\00:47:56.07
people from all over the
world were praying for us
00:47:56.10\00:47:59.74
and sending me
messages and stuff.
00:47:59.77\00:48:02.01
Brayden's, his
little five year old,
00:48:02.04\00:48:04.58
five years of life
00:48:04.61\00:48:06.25
probably touched more
people for the kingdom
00:48:06.28\00:48:09.12
than my life or then
it could have ever done
00:48:09.15\00:48:11.09
if he lived a full life.
00:48:11.12\00:48:12.45
You know, so God is like I
answered that prayer for you.
00:48:12.49\00:48:15.36
And one other thing that
00:48:15.39\00:48:16.73
I really come
to realize is that,
00:48:16.76\00:48:18.09
you know, we want God to
do miracles for us, right?
00:48:18.13\00:48:21.33
And when I talk,
when I go around speaking
00:48:21.36\00:48:23.13
I entitled to talk
adjusting your lenses
00:48:23.16\00:48:26.50
because we are
so focused on here.
00:48:26.53\00:48:29.00
This is all we can see.
00:48:29.04\00:48:30.37
And the reality is God
is not thinking about here,
00:48:30.41\00:48:33.17
you know, this
is not His concern.
00:48:33.21\00:48:34.54
Yeah, He has a bigger picture.
00:48:34.58\00:48:37.11
You know, He's
seeing other things
00:48:37.15\00:48:38.91
and the devil
tries to cloud our view.
00:48:38.95\00:48:41.25
And you know, I
prayed things for Brayden.
00:48:41.28\00:48:43.79
I didn't want him to die.
00:48:43.82\00:48:45.15
I wanted him to
be healed, you know,
00:48:45.19\00:48:47.22
and the visions I had of him
growing up and being this tall,
00:48:47.26\00:48:50.99
chocolate man, you
know, all these things
00:48:51.03\00:48:53.53
I thought about my
child and God was like,
00:48:53.56\00:48:56.06
don't you know what
I've done for Brayden?
00:48:56.10\00:48:58.30
I have healed Braden.
00:48:58.33\00:49:00.00
Braden Caleb Watts
00:49:00.04\00:49:01.37
will never have a
cold or sniffle, nothing.
00:49:01.40\00:49:03.91
The healing that I've
given him is for eternity.
00:49:03.94\00:49:06.71
You know, if He had
healed him here on earth
00:49:06.74\00:49:09.34
he would have got sick again.
00:49:09.38\00:49:10.95
So God answered my prayer.
00:49:10.98\00:49:12.71
You know, they say,
00:49:12.75\00:49:14.08
the Holy Sprit
takes your prayers
00:49:14.12\00:49:15.45
and just kind of fixes them?
00:49:15.48\00:49:16.82
Yeah.
00:49:16.85\00:49:18.19
God is like I'm
doing this for eternity.
00:49:18.22\00:49:19.55
You stuck on that here now.
00:49:19.59\00:49:20.92
You know, I'm
doing this for eternity.
00:49:20.96\00:49:22.29
And he's like, you
worried about your son.
00:49:22.32\00:49:23.66
You know I did have...
00:49:23.69\00:49:25.56
I would think
about him growing up.
00:49:25.59\00:49:26.93
He's like, when I
formed Adam in the dirt,
00:49:26.96\00:49:29.66
do you know how tall he was?
00:49:29.70\00:49:31.10
You know when Brayden gets his,
00:49:31.13\00:49:32.77
his true stature he's
gonna be taller than that 6'4"
00:49:32.80\00:49:35.57
that you're thinking about.
00:49:35.60\00:49:36.94
You know, I'm like
yeah, you're right Jesus.
00:49:36.97\00:49:39.51
And you pray
that he would not die.
00:49:39.54\00:49:41.04
Yeah. Now praise the Lord.
00:49:41.08\00:49:43.11
And we got two minutes
00:49:43.14\00:49:44.48
before we got to
wrap this up a little bit.
00:49:44.51\00:49:48.15
Give me some sense
and you did say that,
00:49:48.18\00:49:50.89
at this point you're in
peace, no anger, no ranker,
00:49:50.92\00:49:54.62
no shaking your finger at God?
00:49:54.66\00:49:56.06
No, no, and that's
why God is amazing.
00:49:56.09\00:49:58.26
I tell you no lie.
I've not questioned God.
00:49:58.29\00:50:00.43
I'm not angry at
God, none of that.
00:50:00.46\00:50:02.46
And I believe I can
attribute to the fact
00:50:02.50\00:50:05.40
that God had
prepared me for this
00:50:05.43\00:50:07.97
before it happened
through all my trials in life,
00:50:08.00\00:50:10.74
you know, up
until this headache,
00:50:10.77\00:50:12.47
He had been preparing me.
00:50:12.51\00:50:13.84
I've already been
through struggles,
00:50:13.88\00:50:15.21
God and God was showing me more
and more about His character
00:50:15.24\00:50:17.31
and then even in the
process of Brayden being sick,
00:50:17.35\00:50:20.38
God was showing me His love
00:50:20.42\00:50:21.92
and His mercy
in the midst of it.
00:50:21.95\00:50:23.72
And so I just
think, I just had a,
00:50:23.75\00:50:25.75
the connection that I needed
with God to understand it.
00:50:25.79\00:50:28.96
My God didn't do anything wrong.
00:50:28.99\00:50:31.19
And you know a lot of times,
00:50:31.23\00:50:32.63
most times the
devil wants us to charge,
00:50:32.66\00:50:35.70
God falsely for what
he is responsible for.
00:50:35.73\00:50:38.10
Yes, yes, I agree.
00:50:38.13\00:50:39.47
No, no, no, no,
no, I will not do that.
00:50:39.50\00:50:41.40
You fool, you're
responsible for this.
00:50:41.44\00:50:43.47
You know, I'm
saying this. You know.
00:50:43.51\00:50:45.51
I'm not gonna charge
my God that died for me.
00:50:45.54\00:50:49.08
Now two things I want
to get them real quick.
00:50:49.11\00:50:51.75
This kind of thing
has a potential to tear
00:50:51.78\00:50:54.38
your marriage apart or
binding close together.
00:50:54.42\00:50:56.28
Oh, yes, yes, yes.
00:50:56.32\00:50:57.65
You got another person
in the room with you, Van.
00:50:57.69\00:50:59.02
Yes, yes.
00:50:59.05\00:51:00.39
Walk me through that
experience real quick.
00:51:00.42\00:51:01.76
Okay, yes.
00:51:01.79\00:51:03.12
Before they started when
Brayden got first diagnosed,
00:51:03.16\00:51:05.33
Van said very point blank.
00:51:05.36\00:51:08.06
"If something happens to
Brayden I'm done with God."
00:51:08.10\00:51:11.03
That's what he said.
00:51:11.07\00:51:12.47
And where he was
right there, you know,
00:51:12.50\00:51:13.84
I believed him because
you know, but God is amazing,
00:51:13.87\00:51:16.37
He bought Van through
that and Van he was strong.
00:51:16.40\00:51:20.54
He was strong the
whole entire way through
00:51:20.58\00:51:23.45
and he's strong now.
00:51:23.48\00:51:24.81
And I'm just like thank
you, God, for you did in Van.
00:51:24.85\00:51:27.42
You know it hurts.
00:51:27.45\00:51:29.32
Don't get me
wrong but Van is strong.
00:51:29.35\00:51:31.32
He is strong and again
with the devil meant for harm
00:51:31.35\00:51:34.06
and did not happen that way.
00:51:34.09\00:51:35.89
And some people were
kind enough to tell us
00:51:35.92\00:51:38.19
before Brayden even the passed.
00:51:38.23\00:51:40.06
"Well, you know what
they say about marriage"
00:51:40.10\00:51:42.93
and I was like thank you
and you tell you that premature.
00:51:42.96\00:51:45.40
Right.
00:51:45.43\00:51:48.40
That's not what it
really need to hear right now.
00:51:48.44\00:51:50.21
But we've gone closer together.
00:51:50.24\00:51:53.58
We have, we have that it's
a blessing, it's a blessing.
00:51:53.61\00:51:56.04
Yeah.
00:51:56.08\00:51:57.41
This is a powerful testimony
00:51:57.45\00:51:59.05
and really we try to cram this
00:51:59.08\00:52:01.42
into the 47 to 50
minutes that we had.
00:52:01.45\00:52:03.69
But there are so many layers
of this kind of experience.
00:52:03.72\00:52:07.52
Should you want to
make contact with SoMonna
00:52:07.56\00:52:10.43
to have her come
to talk to your group,
00:52:10.46\00:52:12.23
she can talk to
your Hospice group,
00:52:12.26\00:52:13.60
she can talk to
your young people,
00:52:13.63\00:52:14.96
she can talk to
your older people,
00:52:15.00\00:52:16.33
she can talk to your AY society,
00:52:16.36\00:52:18.67
she can talk to your church,
00:52:18.70\00:52:20.04
God has given her now a
testimony and a ministry.
00:52:20.07\00:52:22.80
Should you like to make contact
00:52:22.84\00:52:24.17
or have her come to
speak to your group,
00:52:24.21\00:52:26.11
here is how you
can do precisely that.
00:52:26.14\00:52:28.78
To contact SoMonna
Watts for personal training,
00:52:32.28\00:52:34.88
business coaching,
motivational speaking
00:52:34.92\00:52:37.39
or for more
information about her ministry,
00:52:37.42\00:52:39.65
Extraordinary
Living Through Christ,
00:52:39.69\00:52:41.59
you can call
her at 240-462-0741.
00:52:41.62\00:52:47.03
That's 240-462-0741.
00:52:47.06\00:52:51.90
Or you can visit her
website at samonnawatts.com.
00:52:51.93\00:52:55.94
That's samonnawatts.com.
00:52:55.97\00:53:01.61
You can also email her
at samonna@samonnawatts.com
00:53:01.64\00:53:06.21
That's samonna@samonnawatts.com
00:53:06.25\00:53:09.62