I want to spend my life 00:00:01.66\00:00:07.44 Mending broken people 00:00:07.47\00:00:12.41 I want to spend my life 00:00:12.44\00:00:18.61 Removing pain 00:00:18.65\00:00:23.69 Lord, let my words 00:00:23.72\00:00:29.82 Heal a heart that hurts 00:00:29.86\00:00:34.46 I want to spend my life 00:00:34.50\00:00:40.24 Mending broken people 00:00:40.27\00:00:45.71 I want to spend my life 00:00:45.74\00:00:51.21 Mending broken people. 00:00:51.25\00:00:54.72 Hello, and welcome to 3ABN Today. 00:01:07.03\00:01:09.30 My name is C.A. Murray. 00:01:09.33\00:01:10.77 And allow me once again to thank you 00:01:10.80\00:01:12.13 for sharing just a little of your day with us. 00:01:12.17\00:01:14.60 Again to thank you for your love, 00:01:14.64\00:01:15.97 your prayers, your support of this ministry, 00:01:16.00\00:01:17.71 to thank you for loving Christ enough to support His work 00:01:17.74\00:01:20.68 and to assist us in living the Christ-like life. 00:01:20.71\00:01:23.91 But more than that in sharing that life 00:01:23.95\00:01:25.61 with the thousands amens around the world 00:01:25.65\00:01:28.05 who need to hear a word from the Lord. 00:01:28.08\00:01:29.88 And that's what you're gonna hear today. 00:01:29.92\00:01:31.25 You are going to hear a word from the Lord. 00:01:31.29\00:01:32.75 You're gonna hear testimony 00:01:32.79\00:01:34.12 and you're gonna hear one that-- 00:01:34.16\00:01:37.53 from one who, and let me say this right, 00:01:37.56\00:01:40.86 who's been "through the valley of the shadow of death" 00:01:40.90\00:01:44.53 and come forth with a word from the Lord 00:01:44.57\00:01:47.34 that He can keep you even in the darkest of hours 00:01:47.37\00:01:50.57 and through the roughest of times 00:01:50.61\00:01:52.34 when life drops some stuff on you 00:01:52.37\00:01:56.98 that you are not expecting. 00:01:57.01\00:01:58.61 You're living your life, you're going along 00:01:58.65\00:02:00.12 and all of a sudden, one day your life changes dramatically. 00:02:00.15\00:02:04.35 Question is can God keep me through that, 00:02:04.39\00:02:06.42 can God walk me through that, can God save me from that, 00:02:06.45\00:02:09.02 can God put me back on my feet and back on the road? 00:02:09.06\00:02:11.73 And SaMonna Watts is here to say, "Oh, yes. He can." 00:02:11.76\00:02:14.66 SaMonna, good to have you here. Thank you, for having me. 00:02:14.70\00:02:16.73 Praise the Lord. This is her second visit here. 00:02:16.77\00:02:18.83 She has been with Dr. Lewis on the Dare to Dream network. 00:02:18.87\00:02:22.84 But we thought the story important enough 00:02:22.87\00:02:25.37 to bring to this format and talk, 00:02:25.41\00:02:28.14 spend a little more time with her 00:02:28.18\00:02:29.51 because she's got something to say 00:02:29.54\00:02:30.88 and this is something you will want to hear. 00:02:30.91\00:02:33.45 Sometimes you meet people and you like them right off. 00:02:33.48\00:02:35.38 SaMonna kind of has that texture. 00:02:35.42\00:02:37.82 She has a lot to say for the Lord. 00:02:37.85\00:02:39.19 God has brought her through some stuff 00:02:39.22\00:02:41.29 and we're gonna walk our way through that 00:02:41.32\00:02:43.53 and unpack us her story. 00:02:43.56\00:02:45.09 You want to draw close because she's got some things to say 00:02:45.13\00:02:48.30 about survival, dare I say, in the midst of the storm 00:02:48.33\00:02:52.10 and through the storm 00:02:52.13\00:02:53.47 and you see this pretty smiling face, 00:02:53.50\00:02:56.14 there, it belies some trauma and some drama... 00:02:56.17\00:02:59.07 Yes. 00:02:59.11\00:03:00.44 That God has brought her through. 00:03:00.48\00:03:01.81 But the upside of this, the punch line is 00:03:01.84\00:03:05.35 God has indeed brought her through and her family. 00:03:05.38\00:03:08.92 We're gonna talk about that just in minute. 00:03:08.95\00:03:10.29 Before we go to our music 00:03:10.32\00:03:11.65 SaMonna I want to get this a little culture 00:03:11.69\00:03:13.02 because you are from where? 00:03:13.05\00:03:14.39 I'm from Maryland. Maryland. 00:03:14.42\00:03:15.76 DC area. Born in that area? 00:03:15.79\00:03:17.13 Actually I was born in Arizona. My dad was military. 00:03:17.16\00:03:19.89 Then when I was 11 years old, we moved to Maryland. 00:03:19.93\00:03:22.80 I've been there ever since. Ever since. 00:03:22.83\00:03:24.60 Praise the Lord. Adventist home growing up. 00:03:24.63\00:03:26.43 Oh, yes. Definitely. Adventist home. 00:03:26.47\00:03:30.41 I was blessed to go to the Adventist school system, 00:03:30.44\00:03:32.87 you know to be nurtured in the church. 00:03:32.91\00:03:34.44 No, I don't take that for granted 00:03:34.48\00:03:35.81 'cause it's a sacrifice 00:03:35.84\00:03:37.35 and so I'm very thankful that I had that growing up. 00:03:37.38\00:03:40.85 I am... 00:03:40.88\00:03:43.39 being raised in the church doesn't necessarily mean 00:03:43.42\00:03:46.92 you have an experience with God. 00:03:46.96\00:03:48.32 You know. You know. Very true. 00:03:48.36\00:03:51.16 But you know and I can identify the time of my life 00:03:51.19\00:03:56.70 and I really started to get to know God 00:03:56.73\00:03:58.90 for real for myself. 00:03:58.93\00:04:00.27 Now growing up, you know, I did all that I was supposed to do. 00:04:00.30\00:04:02.44 I had my worship, I went, 00:04:02.47\00:04:03.81 you know, there wasn't that real connection 00:04:03.84\00:04:06.47 and that connection for me didn't come 00:04:06.51\00:04:07.91 until I went to college at Oakwood University, 00:04:07.94\00:04:11.55 now university. 00:04:11.58\00:04:12.91 It was college then. 00:04:12.95\00:04:14.28 And I started to really have time to spend with God 00:04:14.32\00:04:18.32 and get to know Him on a different level. 00:04:18.35\00:04:21.22 I was still, I would consider 00:04:21.26\00:04:22.72 in the infancy of my Christian walk. 00:04:22.76\00:04:26.06 Which is why you made that turn. 00:04:26.09\00:04:27.43 Yeah, that's where I really, you know, 00:04:27.46\00:04:30.13 can say that my spiritual walk with Christ began-- 00:04:30.17\00:04:32.90 So you didn't have what we call, 00:04:32.93\00:04:34.30 SaMonna, wilderness years. 00:04:34.34\00:04:35.67 I mean, you kind of play that straight through out your life. 00:04:35.70\00:04:37.67 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. 00:04:37.71\00:04:39.04 I would definitely say that 00:04:39.07\00:04:40.41 I never went way out the church and came, no. 00:04:40.44\00:04:42.08 I was always kind of, you know, on the straight narrow, 00:04:42.11\00:04:44.71 but... 00:04:44.75\00:04:46.28 I didn't have that connection like I needed to have. 00:04:46.31\00:04:47.65 I see and that's the dangers there 00:04:47.68\00:04:49.08 because we have lot of people 00:04:49.12\00:04:50.45 who are on the street now figure 00:04:50.49\00:04:51.82 I'm not out to drink and drug and smoke and running around. 00:04:51.85\00:04:53.46 So I have to be de facto. I got to be right. 00:04:53.49\00:04:55.59 Yeah. Yeah. And it's not necessarily so. 00:04:55.62\00:04:57.39 Because we're talking about 00:04:57.56\00:04:58.89 personal one on one relationship with the Lord. 00:04:58.93\00:05:01.60 Yeah, I think, you know, the devil knows. 00:05:01.63\00:05:02.96 He knows, he knew drugs and drinks, all that things, 00:05:03.00\00:05:07.20 that wasn't gonna be an issue for me. 00:05:07.24\00:05:09.40 Right. I was the good church girl. 00:05:09.44\00:05:10.84 Yeah. 00:05:10.87\00:05:13.58 So he gets you in other way. He surely does. 00:05:13.61\00:05:15.68 Yes, he gets you with other ways. 00:05:15.71\00:05:17.05 You have brothers and sisters? I have a younger sister. 00:05:17.08\00:05:20.22 Her name is Tiffany and she's actually in Korea. 00:05:20.25\00:05:23.08 Wow. Doing missionary work. 00:05:23.12\00:05:24.45 Oh, praise the Lord. 00:05:24.49\00:05:25.82 And I have a older sister, Tunica. 00:05:25.85\00:05:27.19 Uh, huh, so you are the middle girl. 00:05:27.22\00:05:28.56 Yes, yes, yes. Ooh. 00:05:28.59\00:05:29.92 They'd have a lot of say about middle children. 00:05:29.96\00:05:32.56 What did you study in college? 00:05:32.59\00:05:33.93 Biology. Uh, huh. 00:05:33.96\00:05:35.30 And it's interesting because when I went to college I-- 00:05:35.33\00:05:39.13 First, I didn't know what I wanted to do 00:05:39.17\00:05:40.57 and when I got there, 00:05:40.60\00:05:42.40 I was like, oh, I'll be a Biology Major. 00:05:42.44\00:05:44.14 And when I became a Biology Major, 00:05:44.17\00:05:45.51 I decided, well, what else to do 00:05:45.54\00:05:47.08 but to go to medical school afterwards. 00:05:47.11\00:05:48.58 Yeah, yeah. And that's the kicker. 00:05:48.61\00:05:50.95 I mean, really God led me down that path to work with me. 00:05:50.98\00:05:55.78 Now I've always been a high achiever. 00:05:55.82\00:05:59.05 I don't consider myself to be super smart, not at all. 00:05:59.09\00:06:02.22 I just work hard. 00:06:02.26\00:06:03.59 So I got good grades, I got the scholarships, 00:06:03.63\00:06:05.43 I did everything that I was supposed to do 00:06:05.46\00:06:07.30 to excel in school. 00:06:07.33\00:06:08.66 Yeah. Yeah. And it worked. 00:06:08.70\00:06:10.40 So when I came to the end of my Oakwood experience, 00:06:10.43\00:06:13.54 then it was time to go to medical school, 00:06:13.57\00:06:15.37 that's when some struggle started to come up. 00:06:15.40\00:06:17.17 I-- 00:06:17.21\00:06:19.14 and I began praying, I was praying earnestly, 00:06:19.17\00:06:21.41 every Friday I'd fast like, "God, please help me, 00:06:21.44\00:06:23.91 you know, get into school." 00:06:23.95\00:06:25.58 And I look back and I kind of laugh 00:06:25.61\00:06:28.45 when you really get to understand God 00:06:28.48\00:06:29.82 'cause I was praying, "God, get me into school." 00:06:29.85\00:06:33.19 I never prayed, "Lord, is it Your will for me 00:06:33.22\00:06:34.66 to go to med school?" 00:06:34.69\00:06:36.02 You know, none of those kind of prayers. 00:06:36.06\00:06:37.39 Yeah, Lord, of course, I in my decision. 00:06:37.43\00:06:38.99 Yes. 00:06:39.03\00:06:41.50 I know what I'm doing is right. Yes, yes. 00:06:41.53\00:06:43.57 So, you know, I prayed those prayers and it took a while 00:06:43.60\00:06:46.37 but you know, God opened the door 00:06:46.40\00:06:48.77 and I got into medical school. 00:06:48.80\00:06:50.91 And that's when my faith walk began. 00:06:50.94\00:06:53.31 That's when my faith walk began 00:06:53.34\00:06:54.74 because when I got to medical school, 00:06:54.78\00:06:56.75 it wasn't easy. 00:06:56.78\00:06:58.25 And everything that I had done before the working hard 00:06:58.28\00:07:00.52 and getting the good grades, that was out the window. 00:07:00.55\00:07:02.78 I was working hard and I was failing. 00:07:02.82\00:07:04.95 And I would say, "God," 00:07:04.99\00:07:06.32 you know, "what's up with that?" 00:07:06.35\00:07:07.92 I'm here, I'm out of the Adventist system. 00:07:07.96\00:07:09.96 I'm at Howard University at this point. 00:07:09.99\00:07:12.16 And you know, it's a secular school, I'd say. 00:07:12.19\00:07:15.56 And here I am. I'm upholding Sabbath. 00:07:15.60\00:07:18.90 I'm not studying on Sabbath, you know, I'm-- 00:07:18.93\00:07:21.27 People know that I'm a Christian, 00:07:21.30\00:07:22.64 they know what I stand for and I'm failing. 00:07:22.67\00:07:24.64 Yeah. 00:07:24.67\00:07:26.01 When we take test, before the exams, my study group, 00:07:26.04\00:07:29.28 "Oh, no we can't take a test till SaMonna prays for us." 00:07:29.31\00:07:32.15 And I'm sitting there, like, "Lord, I'm praying." 00:07:32.18\00:07:34.88 Right. "They're passing, I'm failing." 00:07:34.92\00:07:36.45 Then I'm failing, yeah, yeah. 00:07:36.48\00:07:37.82 The Red Sea is going to open it up here 00:07:37.85\00:07:39.19 'cause it's not happening, yeah. 00:07:39.22\00:07:40.66 So, you know, it was very frustrating. 00:07:40.69\00:07:42.46 And I remember one of the-- 00:07:42.49\00:07:44.99 It was a low moment for me. 00:07:45.03\00:07:46.36 One of the professors called me into his office. 00:07:46.39\00:07:48.83 This, Howard is a very caring school, 00:07:48.86\00:07:51.10 and he's like, "I know how you feel about Sabbath 00:07:51.13\00:07:54.40 but we want you to pass. 00:07:54.44\00:07:56.07 You just need to go ahead and study on Sabbath. 00:07:56.10\00:07:58.84 And I was like, "you know, God, what is up with this?" 00:07:58.87\00:08:02.08 This is embarrassing, I was humiliated. 00:08:02.11\00:08:03.75 Now he came with-- 00:08:03.78\00:08:05.28 you know, he had sincere heart but to me it was embarrassing. 00:08:05.31\00:08:09.62 Here I am trying to do what's right and I'm failing. 00:08:09.65\00:08:12.82 And so, you know, I passed, 00:08:12.85\00:08:14.19 I made it through the course work 00:08:14.22\00:08:15.56 but then when it came to the boards, I failed. 00:08:15.59\00:08:17.89 Wow. I failed. 00:08:17.93\00:08:19.43 They allow you to take it three times. 00:08:19.46\00:08:21.53 I failed three times. Are you kidding? 00:08:21.56\00:08:23.43 And I got that letter. Yeah. 00:08:23.47\00:08:25.97 "Thank you but you will not be coming back." 00:08:26.00\00:08:28.44 What's happening in your-- 00:08:28.47\00:08:29.80 and now we're gonna go to our music 00:08:29.84\00:08:31.17 and hit the pause button in a second 00:08:31.21\00:08:32.54 but I gotta ask you. 00:08:32.57\00:08:33.91 What's happening in your head right now? 00:08:33.94\00:08:36.54 On two levels, one, just your mental state 00:08:36.58\00:08:40.95 and two, is this impacting your relationship with Jesus? 00:08:40.98\00:08:43.39 Because you could say, 00:08:43.42\00:08:45.79 "Hey, Lord, I'm doing the right thing. 00:08:45.82\00:08:47.16 I'm doing it like you-- 00:08:47.19\00:08:48.52 I'm following the manual 00:08:48.56\00:08:50.09 and it ain't working out right." 00:08:50.13\00:08:51.66 So what's going on in your head and your heart? 00:08:51.69\00:08:54.06 Okay, so throughout the process, it's interesting 00:08:54.10\00:08:56.87 because when it came to the point where I failed, 00:08:56.90\00:09:00.34 it hurt. 00:09:00.37\00:09:01.70 Yeah. Yeah, it hurt. 00:09:01.74\00:09:03.07 And you know, 00:09:03.10\00:09:04.44 I had all my hopes and dreams in this. 00:09:04.47\00:09:05.81 I have worked hard my whole life 00:09:05.84\00:09:07.94 but in the process of the failing 00:09:07.98\00:09:10.38 while I was in school. 00:09:10.41\00:09:11.75 I was on my knees so much. 00:09:11.78\00:09:13.82 Every time I took a test, I was on my knees praying 00:09:13.85\00:09:16.35 so God was building my relationship with him then. 00:09:16.38\00:09:18.65 Amen. Okay. 00:09:18.69\00:09:20.02 So then when it finally came to ahead, 00:09:20.06\00:09:22.02 I was like, okay. 00:09:22.06\00:09:23.53 You know, I hurt, I was embarrassed, 00:09:23.56\00:09:25.03 I was humiliated to go to church 00:09:25.06\00:09:26.43 and it was like, "Our doctor," and it's like, "Uh, no." 00:09:26.46\00:09:31.83 So then-- 00:09:31.87\00:09:33.64 But I was at peace with it. I was like "okay, God." 00:09:33.67\00:09:36.77 I didn't question God, I just heard it in my mind, 00:09:36.81\00:09:39.51 it must not be God's will for me to do this. 00:09:39.54\00:09:42.08 For whatever reason He allowed me 00:09:42.11\00:09:43.51 to go down this path, but it's not His will. 00:09:43.55\00:09:45.38 Okay, so you put it in the right place. 00:09:45.41\00:09:46.85 You didn't dodge yourself and say. 00:09:46.88\00:09:48.22 "I'm a dummy, God's not with me, 00:09:48.25\00:09:50.35 it's just," "okay, this is not God's will 00:09:50.39\00:09:51.72 for my life at this point of time. 00:09:51.75\00:09:53.09 That's what I assumed because I worked hard. 00:09:53.12\00:09:55.42 I mean, I put everything that was in me to do it. 00:09:55.46\00:09:58.13 So I just really concluded that God must not want me to do it. 00:09:58.16\00:10:02.13 He must not for whatever reason. 00:10:02.16\00:10:03.97 And then I had some time to reflect on it. 00:10:04.00\00:10:06.10 I didn't really want to do it. 00:10:06.13\00:10:07.47 There you go. I didn't. 00:10:07.50\00:10:08.84 I think it was just because I-- 00:10:08.87\00:10:10.37 doctor, you know, your biology, seems like the right next step. 00:10:10.41\00:10:14.21 But no, and I was okay with that. 00:10:14.24\00:10:16.64 Yeah. It is a different road. 00:10:16.68\00:10:18.51 And then it's interesting 00:10:18.55\00:10:20.15 because when I was in high school 00:10:20.18\00:10:21.72 my guidance counselor told me that I should go, 00:10:21.75\00:10:24.95 I should be a lawyer. 00:10:24.99\00:10:27.69 I didn't listen to her. 00:10:27.72\00:10:29.06 And now that I failed, I'd start doing these tests online 00:10:32.79\00:10:35.56 and "your personality is best fit to be an attorney." 00:10:35.60\00:10:38.43 Wow. 00:10:38.47\00:10:39.80 Yeah, I see attorney for you, 00:10:39.83\00:10:41.17 you know, funny outside, look at you. 00:10:41.20\00:10:43.24 I do, yeah. He worked it out. 00:10:43.27\00:10:44.81 Yeah, praise the Lord. 00:10:44.84\00:10:46.37 Can I tell you the testimony in that? 00:10:46.41\00:10:47.74 Please. 00:10:47.78\00:10:49.11 Because here is why since like my God is good. 00:10:49.14\00:10:51.05 Because He knew where I was. 00:10:51.08\00:10:52.41 I was at a low place, you know, having failed, 00:10:52.45\00:10:54.25 all these expectations, student loans. 00:10:54.28\00:10:56.79 Yeah, yeah, we are talking med school. 00:10:56.82\00:10:59.15 Yeah, it's expensive. That ain't free. 00:10:59.19\00:11:00.52 No, no I was-- 00:11:00.56\00:11:01.89 it was expensive. 00:11:01.92\00:11:03.59 But within a couple of months, 00:11:03.63\00:11:07.90 I had applied to law school, I had aunt call me, 00:11:07.93\00:11:12.33 "You know, SaMonna, I think God has impressed me 00:11:12.37\00:11:14.00 to tell you to be a lawyer. 00:11:14.04\00:11:15.37 You should go to a law school." 00:11:15.40\00:11:16.74 Took the test at law. 00:11:16.77\00:11:18.11 I applied to law school, got in, 00:11:18.14\00:11:20.84 had Ivy League schools sending me letters saying, 00:11:20.88\00:11:24.41 "Med school loss is our gain, 00:11:24.45\00:11:25.98 would you please apply to our school." 00:11:26.01\00:11:28.08 And I think God was just giving me a boost in my confidence. 00:11:28.12\00:11:29.92 Yeah, little pat on the back, yeah that kind of thing, yeah. 00:11:29.95\00:11:33.02 And then I got a full scholarship. 00:11:33.05\00:11:34.52 This all was like, 00:11:34.56\00:11:35.89 "God, you just flip that whole thing over. 00:11:35.92\00:11:38.13 He flipped it over. I was like, that's amazing. 00:11:38.16\00:11:40.60 Praise God. Amazing. 00:11:40.63\00:11:41.96 What school did you end up going to? 00:11:42.00\00:11:43.33 Howard. Howard. Okay. 00:11:43.37\00:11:44.70 I just switched to find another school. 00:11:44.73\00:11:46.33 I said, Howard, you're stuck with me. 00:11:46.37\00:11:48.24 We just change buildings. Yeah, praise the Lord. 00:11:48.27\00:11:50.24 Yeah, I really have a-- 00:11:50.27\00:11:52.27 I love Howard. So I said I want to stay here. 00:11:52.31\00:11:54.38 And also it is fairly closed to home 00:11:54.41\00:11:55.81 where you grew up, kind of thing. 00:11:55.84\00:11:57.18 All right, let's put up, hit the pause button here 00:11:57.21\00:11:58.71 because things are getting kind of interesting here. 00:11:58.75\00:12:01.32 I need to ask you how did you met your future husband yet. 00:12:01.35\00:12:03.92 Okay. Yes. Yes. 00:12:03.95\00:12:05.29 I had-- 00:12:05.32\00:12:06.65 I knew him from Oakwood. Okay. 00:12:06.69\00:12:08.02 And he actually was at Howard with us as well. 00:12:08.06\00:12:10.29 But I wasn't thinking about him. 00:12:10.33\00:12:11.66 He's just a friend. Just a friend. 00:12:11.69\00:12:13.46 So then after I failed out of med school, 00:12:13.50\00:12:15.53 God was like, "Let me give this girl, a little help, 00:12:15.56\00:12:17.70 a little something." 00:12:17.73\00:12:19.07 And Van and I got together in that broken period. 00:12:19.10\00:12:23.47 So you know, God was giving me a lot of little help. 00:12:23.51\00:12:25.27 He did. Yeah, praise God. 00:12:25.31\00:12:27.98 At what point-- 00:12:28.01\00:12:29.34 and then we'll go to our song. 00:12:29.38\00:12:30.71 Did you kind of know that the Lord 00:12:30.75\00:12:32.08 had a put in your life kind of for keeps? 00:12:32.11\00:12:34.58 Oh, Van, okay, yeah. 00:12:34.62\00:12:37.39 When we started dating, I was-- 00:12:37.42\00:12:38.85 I had the attitude, look I just, 00:12:38.89\00:12:40.66 I had a lot of trauma going on, just failed out of med school, 00:12:40.69\00:12:43.06 I didn't have time for drama. 00:12:43.09\00:12:44.46 So... 00:12:44.49\00:12:46.49 I was like, "God, if it's you, 00:12:46.53\00:12:48.53 you know, I'm not gonna press it." 00:12:48.56\00:12:51.07 That was kind of my attitude 00:12:51.10\00:12:52.43 and I remember when we first started dating, 00:12:52.47\00:12:53.80 I said, you know, this is what I need in the man. 00:12:53.84\00:12:56.67 I need the man who is spiritual, I need X, Y, Z. 00:12:56.71\00:12:58.37 And when we first started dating, "Sorry, man." 00:12:58.41\00:13:02.01 He wasn't, you know, 00:13:02.04\00:13:03.38 he wasn't what I thought at that was to be. 00:13:03.41\00:13:05.15 Okay. 00:13:05.18\00:13:06.51 And so I prayed about it, I remember 00:13:06.55\00:13:07.88 I talked to one of my friends' mother. 00:13:07.92\00:13:10.32 She's a pastor and we talked about it. 00:13:10.35\00:13:11.69 She said, "SaMonna, just give him sometime, 00:13:11.72\00:13:13.52 let God work it out." 00:13:13.56\00:13:15.26 And then next thing you know... 00:13:15.29\00:13:18.03 Sabbath school lessons together every morning 00:13:18.06\00:13:19.56 and just everything that I wanted I saw it in Van. 00:13:19.59\00:13:22.33 Oh, praise God. 00:13:22.36\00:13:23.70 And I thank God because the journey of my life, 00:13:23.73\00:13:25.93 I couldn't do without-- 00:13:25.97\00:13:27.30 with another person. 00:13:27.34\00:13:28.67 He's a strong God-fearing man 00:13:28.70\00:13:30.54 and I was like, God knew that's what I needed. 00:13:30.57\00:13:32.37 And while we're getting ready, get into, 00:13:32.41\00:13:33.74 you needed a strong guy for your marriage 00:13:33.78\00:13:35.21 'cause it's about to get thick here in a few minutes. 00:13:35.24\00:13:37.45 Let's go to our music done here and come back here 00:13:37.48\00:13:38.98 and kind of walk through the experience 00:13:39.01\00:13:40.75 because it is dramatic and traumatic. 00:13:40.78\00:13:43.18 Our music is coming from Dave and Marlene Colburn. 00:13:43.22\00:13:46.12 Dave is a pianist. Marlene is a violinist. 00:13:46.15\00:13:48.62 They are husband and wife. 00:13:48.66\00:13:50.13 They play beautifully together, love each other 00:13:50.16\00:13:53.19 and every time they come, we have fun with them. 00:13:53.23\00:13:56.20 They're gonna be playing, "In the Heart of Jesus." 00:13:56.23\00:13:59.13 Well done. 00:16:31.29\00:16:32.62 Thank you so very much, Dave and Marlene Colburn, 00:16:32.65\00:16:36.12 "In the Heart of Jesus." 00:16:36.16\00:16:37.49 I'm here with SaMonna Watts. 00:16:37.53\00:16:38.86 First, I just like the name, SaMonna. 00:16:38.89\00:16:40.23 Oh, thank you. 00:16:40.26\00:16:41.60 What's your sisters' name? Tunica and Tiffany. 00:16:41.63\00:16:43.16 I got the-- 00:16:44.37\00:16:45.70 Tiffany is, you know, so I don't want to say regular, 00:16:45.73\00:16:47.70 you know, it's a more popular name. 00:16:47.74\00:16:50.04 So SaMonna was bit different. 00:16:50.07\00:16:52.17 Yeah, your parents were very explorative. 00:16:52.21\00:16:54.14 Yeah. I like it SaMonna Watts. 00:16:54.21\00:16:56.34 When we left my lady, you had met your husband to be, 00:16:56.38\00:16:59.65 he was not the guy of your dreams 00:16:59.68\00:17:01.58 but soon became that. 00:17:01.62\00:17:03.12 Oh, yes. 00:17:03.15\00:17:04.49 And became a strong Christian which, 00:17:04.52\00:17:09.59 we're gonna find out in a little bit was he needed 00:17:09.62\00:17:11.29 because you are about ready to go through some stuff. 00:17:11.33\00:17:12.89 So you got married. Did you finish law school? 00:17:12.93\00:17:14.86 Yes, I did. Yes, I did. Uh, huh. 00:17:14.90\00:17:16.50 And I got into a big law job, you know, we were very excited 00:17:16.53\00:17:21.54 because we got married when I was in school 00:17:21.57\00:17:23.64 so and he had just gotten out of school. 00:17:23.67\00:17:25.57 So his salary wasn't that high yet. 00:17:25.61\00:17:27.21 So we were struggling. Now what was he doing? 00:17:27.24\00:17:29.24 Physical therapy. Physical therapy. 00:17:29.28\00:17:30.61 Physical therapy. Okay. 00:17:30.65\00:17:31.98 Yeah, so we were, you know, things were tight. 00:17:32.01\00:17:34.98 So when I got my job, it's exciting like, 00:17:35.02\00:17:36.48 "Oh, yes, we got that money now." 00:17:36.52\00:17:40.12 I got to ask you. 00:17:40.16\00:17:41.49 Going through law school, was it a same kind of struggle 00:17:41.52\00:17:43.36 as medical school or did you kind of 00:17:43.39\00:17:44.89 sail through this a little bit better? 00:17:44.93\00:17:46.63 I sailed through it. Literally. Yeah. 00:17:46.66\00:17:48.16 I was like, this is-- 00:17:48.20\00:17:49.53 it was just so much different, there was no stress. 00:17:49.56\00:17:51.97 I was like once I went to med school, 00:17:52.00\00:17:53.34 I can go to any school. 00:17:53.37\00:17:54.70 That's what I felt. 00:17:54.74\00:17:56.07 So it was different, you know. Yeah. Yeah. 00:17:56.10\00:17:57.44 So this, it wasn't a brand thing 00:17:57.47\00:17:59.04 or an intelligent thing, it's what you are called to do 00:17:59.07\00:18:01.14 and what you are not called to do. 00:18:01.18\00:18:02.71 Now you are functioning in the trajectory 00:18:02.74\00:18:05.38 that God want you do and that your natural skills go through. 00:18:05.41\00:18:08.12 So you sailed through law school, 00:18:08.15\00:18:09.48 you get a decent job. 00:18:09.52\00:18:10.85 You're married now. Yes, yes. 00:18:10.89\00:18:12.22 Well, praise the Lord. Yes. 00:18:12.25\00:18:13.59 And marriage is good. 00:18:13.62\00:18:15.92 We are enjoying life and we come to this point 00:18:15.96\00:18:17.29 where we are-- 00:18:17.33\00:18:18.66 it's time to have the babies now. 00:18:18.69\00:18:20.26 And we tried and nothing happens. 00:18:20.30\00:18:23.60 We try nothing happens. 00:18:23.63\00:18:25.73 I was like, "God, okay, now. 00:18:26.07\00:18:27.60 I waited till I was married, 00:18:27.64\00:18:29.10 you know, I did, I did all the right things." 00:18:29.14\00:18:32.27 I'm not having a baby. 00:18:32.31\00:18:34.41 So this is something we prayed about. 00:18:34.44\00:18:35.78 We really struggled with it, like, 00:18:35.81\00:18:37.15 you know, "what's going on, Lord?" 00:18:37.18\00:18:38.51 And we prayed and prayed and I got a point where I said, 00:18:38.55\00:18:40.18 "Lord, you know what," I was claiming the word 00:18:40.22\00:18:42.65 and going through the promises. 00:18:42.68\00:18:44.52 "If you give me a child, I guarantee you, 00:18:44.55\00:18:47.22 I will raise the child to be a blessing to you, 00:18:47.26\00:18:50.46 like Hannah did." 00:18:50.49\00:18:52.29 That was my prayer, I did. I did. And I was serious. 00:18:52.33\00:18:55.16 I was like 'cause you know, I want a child bad 00:18:55.20\00:18:57.17 but it's no sense having a child 00:18:57.20\00:18:58.53 if the child is not gonna be in heaven. 00:18:58.57\00:19:00.07 You know, that's really, it's a waste of time 00:19:00.10\00:19:01.44 having a person that's gonna be lost. 00:19:01.47\00:19:02.84 So, "Lord I would do everything in my power 00:19:02.87\00:19:04.94 to raise that child." 00:19:04.97\00:19:06.41 And "God, while I'm asking, could you give me a boy?" 00:19:06.44\00:19:09.11 That was my prayer. Uh, huh. 00:19:09.14\00:19:11.18 And God answered that prayer. 00:19:11.21\00:19:13.05 He answered it and we had our son, 00:19:13.08\00:19:15.15 Brayden Caleb Watts. 00:19:15.18\00:19:16.99 And when that happened I left my law firm job. 00:19:17.02\00:19:19.62 Okay, now you want to raise your child. 00:19:19.65\00:19:21.49 And became a stay-at-home mom, you know. 00:19:21.52\00:19:23.89 And I know that's what God wanted me to do. 00:19:23.93\00:19:26.36 I had been reading Adventist Home 00:19:26.39\00:19:28.03 and Child guidance and really, you know, just trying to get 00:19:28.06\00:19:30.57 a strong foundation for being a mother. 00:19:30.60\00:19:33.27 And I looked at my law firm job 00:19:33.30\00:19:34.97 where the pressure of billable hours 00:19:35.00\00:19:37.21 and you know, being there for extensive amount of times. 00:19:37.24\00:19:41.31 I said, no. This is not falling in line with my values. 00:19:41.34\00:19:44.45 Yeah. So I left. 00:19:44.48\00:19:45.81 That's a major decision there, SaMonna. 00:19:45.85\00:19:47.18 It's not like, "okay, I'm going, see you, bye." 00:19:47.22\00:19:49.18 You got to kind of work your way through that 00:19:49.22\00:19:50.59 'cause first of all, heavy loss in salary. 00:19:50.62\00:19:52.25 Yes, very heavy loss. 00:19:52.29\00:19:53.69 And I mean, your husband has a good-- 00:19:53.72\00:19:55.72 he was a physical therapist. 00:19:55.76\00:19:57.09 So he's employed, he's got a good solid job 00:19:57.13\00:19:58.79 but it ain't like a lawyer's job 00:19:58.83\00:20:00.60 where you can build your hours 00:20:00.63\00:20:01.96 and add up and do what you want to do. 00:20:02.00\00:20:03.33 So you got this loss in salary. 00:20:03.37\00:20:05.40 But you felt it's worth it 00:20:05.43\00:20:06.77 to follow the call of God as a mother. 00:20:06.80\00:20:09.07 And I actually had this thought in my head that 00:20:09.10\00:20:12.34 because I'm doing what God wants me to do, 00:20:12.37\00:20:14.81 he's gonna bless. 00:20:14.84\00:20:18.35 And so again, God, you know, he was growing me. 00:20:18.38\00:20:21.72 Because God's blessing us. I was blessed. 00:20:21.75\00:20:24.05 Every thing that we needed, He supplied. 00:20:24.09\00:20:25.99 Amen. 00:20:26.02\00:20:27.36 It might not have been the way that I wanted it 00:20:27.39\00:20:29.06 'cause sometimes, I mean, honestly, 00:20:29.09\00:20:30.43 this is just being real. 00:20:30.46\00:20:31.79 My parents would buy us grocery sometimes 00:20:31.83\00:20:34.23 because we really hit, you know, low times. 00:20:34.26\00:20:36.43 And I didn't like that. 00:20:36.46\00:20:37.80 "I'm the high achiever, God, you know, I've done X,Y,Z. 00:20:37.83\00:20:40.34 I don't want it like that." 00:20:40.37\00:20:41.74 But God, when He says, He supplies your needs, 00:20:41.77\00:20:43.44 He doesn't tell you how He's gonna do it. 00:20:43.47\00:20:45.07 Correct. You know. 00:20:45.11\00:20:46.44 Thank God, my parents were in a position 00:20:46.47\00:20:47.81 to get me groceries at times that I needed. 00:20:47.84\00:20:49.48 You know, He supplies. 00:20:49.51\00:20:50.85 You know, I got to ask you, 00:20:50.88\00:20:52.21 how is your husband rolling with this? 00:20:52.25\00:20:53.58 Because he is in this boat too. Oh, yes, yes. 00:20:53.62\00:20:55.42 Yeah, he's got it or you got it or so yeah. 00:20:55.45\00:20:57.79 And I got to say it. Initially I was leading this. 00:20:57.82\00:21:01.42 It took him a while to come on board, 00:21:01.46\00:21:02.92 you know, throughout the-- 00:21:02.96\00:21:04.29 but once the kids came, I had another child 00:21:04.33\00:21:06.19 right after I had Brayden. 00:21:06.23\00:21:07.56 So how far is the separation 00:21:07.60\00:21:08.93 between Brayden and your daughter. 00:21:08.96\00:21:10.30 13 months. Okay, so you got a match set. 00:21:10.33\00:21:11.67 Boy, girl. Okay. Yeah, best buddies. 00:21:11.70\00:21:14.04 Best buddies. 00:21:14.07\00:21:15.40 So you know, and it was challenging 00:21:15.44\00:21:16.87 and we had challenging times but the benefit of seeing 00:21:16.91\00:21:20.68 how the children were being raised 00:21:20.71\00:21:22.48 and you know, he'd come home from work there, they're like-- 00:21:22.51\00:21:24.78 it's so excited, you know, 00:21:24.81\00:21:26.55 not having to shuffle them around. 00:21:26.58\00:21:28.35 After a while he was there too. Yeah. 00:21:28.38\00:21:30.09 He appreciated it. 00:21:30.12\00:21:31.45 So I'm getting the feeling that the flavor 00:21:31.49\00:21:32.85 that you were good mother, caring mother. 00:21:32.89\00:21:34.86 Raising your children, you know, 00:21:34.89\00:21:36.22 as God was blessing you, doing all the right stuff. 00:21:36.26\00:21:39.93 But all the right stuff doesn't mean 00:21:39.96\00:21:41.30 that something not gonna stick in there. 00:21:41.33\00:21:42.73 So walk us through the experience, 00:21:42.76\00:21:44.33 the change, yeah. 00:21:44.37\00:21:45.90 So I am-- 00:21:45.93\00:21:49.27 time has passed and Brayden is now five years old 00:21:49.30\00:21:53.27 and this is the child that I prayed for. 00:21:53.31\00:21:54.64 Yes. 00:21:54.68\00:21:56.01 And things are going, you know, they are going okay. 00:21:56.04\00:21:59.35 With the kids, things are going perfect. 00:21:59.38\00:22:01.72 And one day, it was early 2014. 00:22:01.75\00:22:07.36 He says, "Mommy, my head hurts." 00:22:07.39\00:22:10.46 And that phrase, that statement 00:22:10.49\00:22:12.96 was going to change our lives forever and we had no idea. 00:22:12.99\00:22:16.97 And he continued to complain about his head hurting. 00:22:17.00\00:22:19.73 I took him to the doctor, you know, what's going on 00:22:19.77\00:22:21.64 and the doctor said "it's probably migraines, mom." 00:22:21.67\00:22:25.24 It didn't set right with me that it could be migraines. 00:22:25.27\00:22:28.48 It just didn't set right. 00:22:28.51\00:22:30.08 So we went home and he gave a list of things 00:22:30.11\00:22:32.28 to avoid in his diet to see if we could rule out migraines. 00:22:32.31\00:22:38.35 He kept complaining. 00:22:38.39\00:22:39.72 And when he was sleeping, in the middle of the night, 00:22:39.75\00:22:41.29 he screamed, "My head hurts." 00:22:41.32\00:22:43.63 Bless his heart. Yeah, I was traumatized. 00:22:43.66\00:22:46.23 Giving him medic... 00:22:46.26\00:22:47.60 Advil and to what children's Tylenol 00:22:47.63\00:22:49.66 or things like that eases head pain. 00:22:49.70\00:22:51.67 Yeah. Nothing was working. 00:22:51.70\00:22:53.10 So I went right back to the doctor. 00:22:53.13\00:22:57.04 Was Brayden by nature, a complainer? 00:22:57.07\00:22:59.31 Was he pretty compliant child? Oh, no. 00:22:59.34\00:23:00.71 So if he is complaining about head hurts 00:23:00.74\00:23:02.98 it's 'cause his head is hurt. 00:23:03.01\00:23:04.35 Yeah, his head is hurting. 00:23:04.38\00:23:05.71 As a matter of fact, when he first started 00:23:05.75\00:23:07.08 complaining about his head hurting, 00:23:07.12\00:23:08.72 we took them out to eat and he loves burgers. 00:23:08.75\00:23:12.59 Veggie Burgers, he loves them. 00:23:12.62\00:23:13.96 And we are at Red Robin and we ordered him his burger 00:23:13.99\00:23:16.62 and he couldn't eat. 00:23:16.66\00:23:18.49 And my child was eater. Yeah. 00:23:18.53\00:23:21.83 So that kind of like, okay, he's hurting. 00:23:21.86\00:23:25.03 So I took him back to the doctor and again, 00:23:25.07\00:23:27.20 "Mom, I don't see anything." 00:23:27.24\00:23:28.74 But we do some tests, we do some imaging just to make sure. 00:23:28.77\00:23:31.81 So I took Brayden, I had the prescription, 00:23:31.84\00:23:33.81 I went to the imaging clinic, they did the imaging 00:23:33.84\00:23:36.18 and I didn't hear anything back. 00:23:36.21\00:23:37.81 And so my mind, if I don't hear anything back, he's okay. 00:23:37.85\00:23:40.08 That he's fine. He's fine, yeah. 00:23:40.12\00:23:41.45 So I called the doctor, called the doctor, 00:23:41.48\00:23:43.12 couple of days later and he's like, "yeah, 00:23:43.15\00:23:44.49 you know, the test came back fine, 00:23:44.52\00:23:45.95 there's nothing serious to worry about. 00:23:45.99\00:23:49.69 Don't worry, mom, follow the protocol." 00:23:49.72\00:23:52.23 And in a month or maybe he said three weeks 00:23:52.26\00:23:54.83 touch back with me and we'll see. 00:23:54.86\00:23:57.43 I didn't feel that peace. 00:23:57.47\00:23:59.13 As soon as I had that conversation with him, 00:23:59.17\00:24:01.90 Brayden's complains continued and I called another doctor. 00:24:01.94\00:24:05.67 And he said "take that child to Children's." 00:24:05.71\00:24:07.81 Children's. 00:24:07.84\00:24:09.18 And I called Children's Hospital 00:24:09.21\00:24:10.55 to make a appointment. 00:24:10.58\00:24:11.91 They have a long waiting list. Sure. 00:24:11.95\00:24:13.92 And that evening I went home 00:24:13.95\00:24:15.95 and then in middle of the night, 00:24:15.98\00:24:17.92 he started screaming again. 00:24:17.95\00:24:19.29 And my husband and I found ourselves with him 00:24:19.32\00:24:20.76 in the emergency room. 00:24:20.79\00:24:22.32 And while we were there, 00:24:22.36\00:24:23.69 you know, they did lots of testing. 00:24:23.73\00:24:25.06 And when we first got there, 00:24:25.09\00:24:27.00 they asked him to walk a straight line. 00:24:27.03\00:24:28.86 Now I have a medical background and my husband,, 00:24:28.90\00:24:30.60 he's in the medical field. 00:24:30.63\00:24:31.97 So when Brayden started to walk, 00:24:32.00\00:24:34.60 he was stumbling all over and I was like, 00:24:34.64\00:24:37.87 this is something serious. 00:24:37.91\00:24:39.24 Yeah, you had not seen that before. 00:24:39.27\00:24:40.61 No, I hadn't seen it before. So he just, he could not. 00:24:40.64\00:24:43.78 It's like, oh, Lord. 00:24:43.81\00:24:45.31 So there at the end of the evening, 00:24:45.35\00:24:46.68 after we had all the testing was done 00:24:46.72\00:24:48.18 and the test results came back, the doctor called us in 00:24:48.22\00:24:52.55 to talk to us and he called us into a room 00:24:52.59\00:24:55.32 separate from the room where Brayden was 00:24:55.36\00:24:57.46 and he closed the door behind us. 00:24:57.49\00:24:59.29 And I remember my husband 00:24:59.33\00:25:00.66 looking at me like, that's not good. 00:25:00.70\00:25:02.80 Yeah, yeah. 00:25:02.83\00:25:05.17 And when the doctor sat us down, 00:25:05.20\00:25:07.24 he told us that they have found two masses on Brayden's brain. 00:25:07.27\00:25:11.61 And I just remembered sitting there in shock. 00:25:11.64\00:25:13.98 I literally was in shock. 00:25:14.01\00:25:16.91 And the interesting thing is that the doctor, 00:25:16.95\00:25:19.81 he was so kind but he said something 00:25:19.85\00:25:21.48 that will forever be in my mind or the goodness of God. 00:25:21.52\00:25:24.85 He looked at us and he said, 00:25:24.89\00:25:27.29 "I can see the Holy Spirit all over you guys." 00:25:27.32\00:25:30.53 And for me, that kind of just gave me confidence 00:25:30.56\00:25:35.06 that God was with us even in this great tragic, 00:25:35.10\00:25:39.43 you know, this news that we were getting 00:25:39.47\00:25:41.00 that was not good. 00:25:41.04\00:25:42.64 Was this an Adventist doctor? 00:25:42.67\00:25:44.01 No. It was not. Okay. 00:25:44.04\00:25:45.97 He was just a doctor that was there when he said that. 00:25:46.01\00:25:48.44 But he was a Christian, 00:25:48.48\00:25:49.81 you know, he told us afterwards. 00:25:49.84\00:25:51.18 "I'm a Christian, I can see that you guys are Christians." 00:25:51.21\00:25:52.68 And so on so forth. 00:25:52.71\00:25:55.28 So I remembered leaving that room. 00:25:55.32\00:25:57.52 And I didn't go back into the room where Brayden was. 00:25:57.55\00:25:59.25 I walked down the hallway and literally my legs, 00:25:59.29\00:26:03.06 I thought they were gonna give out on me. 00:26:03.09\00:26:04.53 I was in shock. 00:26:04.56\00:26:05.89 And I walked down the hallway and this nurse, 00:26:05.93\00:26:07.33 she came and she grabbed me 00:26:07.36\00:26:09.26 and she pulled me into this room on the side. 00:26:09.30\00:26:11.50 She says, "Here, you can sit in here." 00:26:11.53\00:26:13.30 And she closed the door. 00:26:13.34\00:26:15.07 And I just collapsed to the ground. 00:26:15.10\00:26:16.77 I was crying out to God, you know, I was in pain. 00:26:16.81\00:26:20.61 And here is what I told the Lord. 00:26:20.64\00:26:21.98 I said, "God, if I have to go through this trial of Brayden, 00:26:22.01\00:26:26.11 I will not speak for you." 00:26:26.15\00:26:28.98 And here's why I said that. 00:26:29.02\00:26:30.99 'Cause I think it was literally I wrote it in my journal, 00:26:31.02\00:26:34.32 less than three months earlier, it might've been two months, 00:26:34.36\00:26:37.29 I had been praying and I had been wrestling God 00:26:37.33\00:26:39.29 with my purpose. 00:26:39.33\00:26:40.66 "What is my purpose, God? 00:26:40.70\00:26:42.13 I had a career 00:26:42.16\00:26:43.50 even though I was a stay-at-home mom. 00:26:43.53\00:26:44.87 You know, I had the credentials, 00:26:44.90\00:26:46.23 I could go out and get a law job, 00:26:46.27\00:26:47.60 I could do all these other things. 00:26:47.64\00:26:48.97 But what is my purpose? 00:26:49.00\00:26:50.41 I want to be fulfilled 00:26:50.44\00:26:51.77 and I was wrestling with God about this. 00:26:51.81\00:26:54.08 And through my wrestling, 00:26:54.11\00:26:55.61 He showed me clearly that He wanted me to speak. 00:26:55.64\00:26:58.21 And to that, I was excited. 00:26:58.25\00:26:59.58 You know, I've been running my mouth for years. 00:26:59.61\00:27:00.95 So it was like, "Well, that's perfect. Okay, yeah." 00:27:00.98\00:27:03.52 And so then I, you know, in my prayer time I asked God, 00:27:03.55\00:27:06.12 I said, "Well, what is it that I was supposed to speak about?" 00:27:06.15\00:27:09.52 And I know I wanted to motivate people. 00:27:09.56\00:27:11.59 That was in my heart. 00:27:11.63\00:27:13.46 And I did my spiritual gifts' test 00:27:13.50\00:27:16.06 and my spiritual gifts were faith and exhortation. 00:27:16.10\00:27:18.73 Wow. 00:27:18.77\00:27:20.10 So, you know, I went to that and I looked back 00:27:20.14\00:27:21.57 in my journal and years back, at camp meeting I taken a test 00:27:21.60\00:27:24.47 and it was faith and exhortation. 00:27:24.51\00:27:26.34 Sounds like, "Okay, God, I want to encourage people in You." 00:27:26.37\00:27:29.31 So here I am in the hospital, I'm like, 00:27:29.34\00:27:31.51 light bulbs were going off. 00:27:31.55\00:27:33.68 Oh, no, not this way, you know, not this way. 00:27:33.72\00:27:36.58 If you-- 00:27:36.62\00:27:37.95 I know people who've encouraged me. 00:27:37.99\00:27:39.32 They are people who have usually gone through hell 00:27:39.35\00:27:42.66 and they come back and they have story to minister to you. 00:27:42.69\00:27:44.56 Precisely. 00:27:44.59\00:27:45.93 And I was like, I don't want that to be me. 00:27:45.96\00:27:47.30 There's enough people out there, God, 00:27:47.33\00:27:48.66 who're going through trouble. 00:27:48.70\00:27:50.03 Yeah. Yeah. 00:27:50.07\00:27:52.23 No. I don't need this. You can keep that. 00:27:52.27\00:27:56.30 Now you had mentioned something too 00:27:56.34\00:27:57.67 and we were talking, you had said something, 00:27:57.71\00:27:59.27 a day before Brayden complained it was first headache. 00:27:59.31\00:28:02.34 Yes, yes, I did. You recall that? 00:28:02.38\00:28:04.38 I said, my husband and I were talking and I said, 00:28:04.41\00:28:06.92 you know what, we're just talking 00:28:06.95\00:28:08.42 'cause we were struggling with the finances 00:28:08.45\00:28:10.49 and just you know, God, why haven't you fix this 00:28:10.52\00:28:13.42 or helped a little bit more 00:28:13.46\00:28:14.79 seeing that we're doing Your will. 00:28:14.82\00:28:16.59 We believe we are doing your will 00:28:16.62\00:28:17.96 by having me stay at home. 00:28:17.99\00:28:20.13 And I said, you know... 00:28:20.16\00:28:21.50 we got to conquer this part because money is nothing. 00:28:23.30\00:28:27.54 Sometimes, God has to touch one of our children 00:28:27.57\00:28:29.74 to grow our faith. 00:28:29.77\00:28:32.04 And the next day, "Mommy, my head hurts." 00:28:32.07\00:28:34.98 You know, I was like, "Lord, Lord." 00:28:35.01\00:28:37.78 So I have all these thoughts going in my head. 00:28:37.81\00:28:41.68 Going in my head and I am... 00:28:41.72\00:28:45.72 and another ironic thing is I tried to apply for a job, 00:28:45.75\00:28:48.76 you know, I was like, okay, 00:28:48.79\00:28:50.13 maybe I need to go back to work. 00:28:50.16\00:28:51.49 I'm wrestling with what I should do 00:28:51.53\00:28:53.16 and I applied for a law job at a firm. 00:28:53.19\00:28:56.16 And so I had this interview with the partner 00:28:56.20\00:29:00.04 and we are talking and honestly, 00:29:00.07\00:29:01.70 at this age where I am in my life, 00:29:01.74\00:29:03.54 I'm not gonna just say what you want me to say to get the job. 00:29:03.57\00:29:06.57 You know, I'm very transparent, very open because I believe 00:29:06.61\00:29:09.41 that God has a job for me and it's for me. 00:29:09.44\00:29:10.91 Yes. And so we are talking. 00:29:10.95\00:29:12.31 We are having this conversation. 00:29:12.35\00:29:13.68 He asked me one question. 00:29:13.72\00:29:15.05 He said, "What would you do 00:29:15.08\00:29:17.12 if one of your children got sick?" 00:29:17.15\00:29:19.05 You know, and I know what I would do in my heart 00:29:22.09\00:29:23.73 and he sensed it. 00:29:23.76\00:29:25.29 He was like "you're not ready to come back to work." 00:29:25.33\00:29:28.53 That was literally but then it was then-- 00:29:28.56\00:29:32.43 was January 17. 00:29:32.47\00:29:33.87 So it was a month before Brayden, 00:29:33.90\00:29:36.40 almost to the day, 00:29:36.44\00:29:37.77 Brayden began complaining about his headaches. 00:29:37.81\00:29:39.14 Okay. 00:29:39.17\00:29:40.51 But there is something very amazing 00:29:40.54\00:29:42.38 when I'm having this talk with God 00:29:42.41\00:29:44.41 and I'm on the floor crying out to him. 00:29:44.45\00:29:47.45 God told me as clear as day, 00:29:47.48\00:29:49.25 this is one of those few times in my life 00:29:49.28\00:29:50.99 where I'm like God, I heard the voice of God. 00:29:51.02\00:29:53.72 I'm crying and He said, "SaMonna, 00:29:53.76\00:29:55.59 what makes you think I won't bring you 00:29:55.62\00:29:57.53 through this trial victorious. 00:29:57.56\00:29:59.39 It was so comforting, it was so amazing 00:29:59.43\00:30:02.33 that I literally, I was filled with supernatural strength. 00:30:02.36\00:30:05.67 That strength that you can't explain. 00:30:05.70\00:30:07.84 And I got up off my knees, dried my tears 00:30:07.87\00:30:10.51 and I was strengthened to walk through this trial. 00:30:10.54\00:30:13.24 Now you didn't know exactly at that point what that meant. 00:30:13.27\00:30:15.58 Oh, no. I had no idea. 00:30:15.61\00:30:17.41 You know, 'cause He didn't say He was gonna heal Brayden. 00:30:17.45\00:30:19.28 He didn't say anything. He said victory. 00:30:19.31\00:30:21.18 Victory. 00:30:21.22\00:30:22.55 So I was claiming victory 00:30:22.58\00:30:25.19 and I had this strength to go through. 00:30:25.22\00:30:26.99 Now I can tell you death was not a option. 00:30:27.02\00:30:30.13 I just kind of kicked that out of my head, you know. 00:30:30.16\00:30:32.66 Healing is the only option 00:30:32.69\00:30:34.76 and victory is going to be this. 00:30:34.80\00:30:37.57 So from there, they told us 00:30:37.60\00:30:39.60 we had to go Children's Hospital immediately. 00:30:39.63\00:30:42.50 So I said, "Okay, we'll get in the car." 00:30:42.54\00:30:43.87 He said, no, no, no. 00:30:43.91\00:30:45.24 This is too serious 00:30:45.27\00:30:46.61 and they had to transport us to Children's. 00:30:46.64\00:30:49.64 And when we got there, it's like every time 00:30:49.68\00:30:51.85 I met with the doctor, it was like, more bad news. 00:30:51.88\00:30:54.38 He said to us, you know, 00:30:54.42\00:30:56.05 they did send their preliminary testing. 00:30:56.08\00:30:57.95 Oh, this is serious. 00:30:57.99\00:30:59.32 We need to have brain surgery immediately. 00:30:59.35\00:31:01.02 So in a couple... 00:31:01.06\00:31:02.39 So you're getting, I mean, they are dumping stuff on you, 00:31:02.42\00:31:03.76 I mean, you're getting it run right after left, 00:31:03.79\00:31:05.13 right, left, right, left. 00:31:05.16\00:31:06.49 Whammy after whammy after whammy. 00:31:06.53\00:31:09.33 So it's a lot, it's a lot to take in. 00:31:09.36\00:31:11.20 Seriously, the net day, the next hour, 00:31:11.23\00:31:12.70 the next couple of days a month later. 00:31:12.73\00:31:14.44 Yeah, it was-- we left Children's, 00:31:14.47\00:31:16.64 we got to, I mean, 00:31:16.67\00:31:18.11 we left our emergency room. 00:31:18.14\00:31:20.31 Got to Children's. 00:31:20.34\00:31:21.68 That day we have to have brain surgery. 00:31:21.71\00:31:24.58 But they had to wait till the Monday. 00:31:24.61\00:31:26.72 So in a couple of days 00:31:26.75\00:31:28.45 they had this surgery on Monday. 00:31:28.48\00:31:29.82 Wow. 00:31:29.85\00:31:31.19 They had this surgery and while we were waiting, 00:31:31.22\00:31:33.22 'cause you know, we're waiting for long time. 00:31:33.25\00:31:35.19 The surgery, I think it was supposed to be four hours. 00:31:35.22\00:31:37.09 We might have sat out there for six. 00:31:37.13\00:31:38.63 So your nerves and I'm praying, 00:31:38.66\00:31:40.00 I'm praying like, 00:31:40.03\00:31:41.36 "God, please let this be the end of it, 00:31:41.40\00:31:42.73 let them it's just a cyst, you know, this is it." 00:31:42.76\00:31:46.30 And when I was praying 00:31:46.33\00:31:47.67 it was like the Spirit said to me, 00:31:47.70\00:31:49.04 "The testimony isn't great enough." 00:31:49.07\00:31:50.97 I thought, Lord. 00:31:51.01\00:31:52.61 And low and behold, the doctor came out, 00:31:52.64\00:31:54.34 he was like, "The surgery was fine. 00:31:54.38\00:31:56.21 We got it all. 00:31:56.24\00:31:57.58 But there's more concerning news." 00:31:57.61\00:31:59.11 He said this is cancer. 00:31:59.15\00:32:01.42 I was like, okay, Lord. Okay. 00:32:01.45\00:32:03.75 Couple of days later, you know, 00:32:03.79\00:32:05.12 once they get all the testing done, 00:32:05.15\00:32:06.62 you know, the real testing. 00:32:06.65\00:32:07.99 They can tell us what we're actually dealing with. 00:32:08.02\00:32:09.69 We found ourselves in the meeting 00:32:09.72\00:32:11.29 with out medical staff. 00:32:11.33\00:32:13.53 Pre-doctors and the nurse and we're sitting in there 00:32:13.56\00:32:16.30 and they have all these papers that kind of tell us 00:32:16.33\00:32:18.00 what we're dealing with. 00:32:18.03\00:32:19.67 And that conversation, have mercy, 00:32:19.70\00:32:22.07 in the middle of the conversation, 00:32:22.10\00:32:23.44 I just had to tell them, "Please stop talking, 00:32:23.47\00:32:27.14 while I gather myself together." 00:32:27.18\00:32:29.24 Because that's when they told us 00:32:29.28\00:32:30.61 that Brayden had Medulloblastoma, 00:32:30.65\00:32:32.55 high stage, high grade. 00:32:32.58\00:32:34.88 And Medulloblastoma is a type of cancer, 00:32:34.92\00:32:37.65 it's a pediatric brain cancer 00:32:37.69\00:32:39.02 that generally affects little boys from birth 00:32:39.05\00:32:42.12 but generally around age 2 to 10. 00:32:42.16\00:32:44.13 Wow. 00:32:44.16\00:32:46.26 And I remember asking them, well, 00:32:46.29\00:32:48.60 the tumor I think my picture, the tumor was like that big. 00:32:48.63\00:32:52.63 And I said, you know, 00:32:52.67\00:32:54.00 if we had come in sooner would it been different? 00:32:54.04\00:32:57.04 How long has this been growing and he said, 00:32:57.07\00:32:58.97 "Mom, it probably was growing in a matter of weeks. 00:32:59.01\00:33:01.94 That's how fast and aggressive this particular tumor is. 00:33:01.98\00:33:04.01 So this is not like you can save 00:33:04.05\00:33:05.38 if you got here last year, we'd had some-- 00:33:05.41\00:33:07.12 this is just a rapid, aggressive tumor. 00:33:07.15\00:33:10.12 Yeah, it's what it is. 00:33:10.15\00:33:11.72 So they told us that- basically I had a 50 percent, 00:33:11.75\00:33:14.42 50 chance of life for Brayden. 00:33:14.46\00:33:17.13 Now, SaMonna, let me ask you, little boys,, primarily, 00:33:17.16\00:33:21.36 not exclusively but primarily... 00:33:21.40\00:33:23.77 What are the odds, I mean, how many, common, rare, what? 00:33:23.80\00:33:29.27 One in a million. Wow. Wow. 00:33:29.30\00:33:33.78 And what are those odds anyways? 00:33:33.81\00:33:35.74 God, I prayed for the child and this is what you do? 00:33:35.78\00:33:38.51 I mean, you know, God doesn't, 00:33:38.55\00:33:39.98 I don't want to even put that out there, you know. 00:33:40.02\00:33:42.62 He's a good God but, yeah, one in a million. 00:33:42.65\00:33:45.42 One in a million. Yeah. 00:33:45.45\00:33:46.92 So actually as I rephrase that, 00:33:46.96\00:33:48.46 it was our privilege to be the parents 00:33:48.49\00:33:50.83 of the one in a million, you know. 00:33:50.86\00:33:52.19 The one in a million child. Wow. 00:33:52.23\00:33:53.93 But I mean, and all other stuff has an I mean, 00:33:53.96\00:33:56.36 God can understand. 00:33:56.40\00:33:58.57 A cancellation of things that running through your mind, 00:33:58.60\00:34:00.17 this is a child of promise. 00:34:00.20\00:34:01.54 I prayed for this child. Does he not? 00:34:01.57\00:34:02.90 You know. Yeah, he was answer to prayer. 00:34:02.94\00:34:04.27 Yeah. Answer to prayer. 00:34:04.31\00:34:05.64 And now I'm gonna about to lose him. 00:34:05.67\00:34:07.04 Yeah. And... 00:34:07.08\00:34:09.64 At that point had it got to you into your head, 00:34:09.68\00:34:12.45 you had to had it sunk in that maybe I might lose this, 00:34:12.48\00:34:14.62 I might lose my son? 00:34:14.65\00:34:15.98 Okay, well, what I told the doctors. 00:34:16.02\00:34:18.92 I blocked it out and I told them, 00:34:18.95\00:34:21.06 I don't want to hear any story about a child that was lost. 00:34:21.09\00:34:23.83 Tell me the child, 00:34:23.86\00:34:25.19 the children in that who has survived this. 00:34:25.23\00:34:26.93 That's all I want to hear. 00:34:26.96\00:34:28.30 I won't hear any, not that it's negative. 00:34:28.33\00:34:29.66 You know, I don't want to hear those facts. 00:34:29.70\00:34:31.03 Yeah, yeah. 00:34:31.07\00:34:32.40 And he started to tell me but he had like two examples. 00:34:32.43\00:34:38.27 Two examples, you know there are 00:34:38.31\00:34:39.64 couple of examples in the children 00:34:39.67\00:34:41.01 that they worked with. 00:34:41.04\00:34:42.38 I was like, fine. You know, it doesn't matter. 00:34:42.41\00:34:44.01 Yeah. There is no examples. 00:34:44.05\00:34:45.38 God can do it for my baby. He can do it. 00:34:45.41\00:34:47.82 And then they went through the treatment. 00:34:47.85\00:34:50.62 If the diagnosis wasn't bad enough, 00:34:50.65\00:34:52.15 the treatment was enough to take you under. 00:34:52.19\00:34:54.06 Wow. 00:34:54.09\00:34:55.42 They told us he had to have high doses of radiation 00:34:55.46\00:34:58.16 and it was so high 00:34:58.19\00:35:00.00 that they don't even do it in Maryland. 00:35:00.03\00:35:01.96 We had to travel to Philadelphia 00:35:02.00\00:35:03.37 for the specialized proton radiation treatment. 00:35:03.40\00:35:06.37 Then after that he would have to seven rounds 00:35:06.40\00:35:08.24 of high dose chemo therapy. 00:35:08.27\00:35:10.44 Now with that. 00:35:10.47\00:35:13.11 He said he was gonna lose his hearing, 00:35:13.14\00:35:15.61 his growth will be stunted and my husband is very tall. 00:35:15.64\00:35:18.91 So you know, when I thought about my child, 00:35:18.95\00:35:20.78 oh, he's gonna grow. 00:35:20.82\00:35:22.15 They were like because they have to treat his spine 00:35:22.18\00:35:23.92 because it's central nervous system, 00:35:23.95\00:35:25.29 his brain and the spine, his trunk will stop growing. 00:35:25.32\00:35:31.23 Oh, wow. 00:35:31.26\00:35:32.59 But his legs will continue to grow. 00:35:32.63\00:35:36.26 And then mental disabilities. 00:35:36.30\00:35:40.20 'Cause they are treating the brain. 00:35:40.24\00:35:41.70 So this is a lot, a lot for me to take in 00:35:41.74\00:35:44.94 and Brayden is very bright child. 00:35:44.97\00:35:47.68 Very, very, very bright child. 00:35:47.71\00:35:49.74 He was just intelligent. So I'm just like, no. 00:35:49.78\00:35:53.92 I don't accept this. Yeah. 00:35:53.95\00:35:56.18 So we had to deal with that and we went on to Philadelphia 00:35:56.22\00:35:59.02 where he had his treatment and it was tough. 00:35:59.05\00:36:02.06 It's just tough for a child. 00:36:02.09\00:36:04.03 You know, there were so many times, he had to get sticked, 00:36:04.06\00:36:06.76 you know, get his needles, get a port put in his chest. 00:36:06.80\00:36:09.73 Traumatizing for the child and what hurt more is that 00:36:09.76\00:36:13.03 I had to physically hold him down. 00:36:13.07\00:36:16.50 He's screaming and kicking, 00:36:16.54\00:36:17.87 "Mommy, please don't let them do this to me." 00:36:17.91\00:36:19.47 And I have to be the one to do it. 00:36:19.51\00:36:20.94 Tears coming down my face. 00:36:20.98\00:36:22.58 I was like, "God, this is a lot. 00:36:22.61\00:36:23.98 This is a lot. 00:36:24.01\00:36:25.88 And you know, by the end of the radiation treatment, 00:36:25.91\00:36:28.02 he had become a big boy. 00:36:28.05\00:36:29.72 He was the big boy the whole time. 00:36:29.75\00:36:31.09 He's five, I mean, you know, he's five. 00:36:31.12\00:36:32.45 He's five. 00:36:32.49\00:36:33.82 Yeah, he's not 15 years in that corner. 00:36:33.86\00:36:35.19 He's five. 00:36:35.22\00:36:36.56 But he was able to-- "I'll do it. 00:36:36.59\00:36:38.99 He just stood still and he let them do it. 00:36:39.03\00:36:40.73 You know, I was proud of him. 00:36:40.76\00:36:42.23 Yeah, he's accomplished a lot. 00:36:42.26\00:36:44.17 But he-- the funny memories of the situation is, 00:36:44.20\00:36:48.80 he was a kid, he had personality. 00:36:48.84\00:36:51.04 And the doctors would say things to him 00:36:51.07\00:36:52.81 and it just so happened that one of his doctors 00:36:52.84\00:36:56.21 happened to somebody that we went to school with, 00:36:56.24\00:36:58.35 you know, so he was there and you know, 00:36:58.38\00:37:01.55 he had to do some sticking of Brayden 00:37:01.58\00:37:03.35 and so we came back with some snacks and said, 00:37:03.39\00:37:05.35 here you go, you know, we're friends. 00:37:05.39\00:37:07.92 Brayden said, "But I'm not your friend." 00:37:07.96\00:37:13.13 This I don't forget. He was like, "No, no, no. 00:37:13.16\00:37:15.56 I'm not your friend." 00:37:15.60\00:37:16.93 You and that needle, yeah, we are not friends. 00:37:16.97\00:37:19.20 Thank you for the snack but we are not buddies. 00:37:19.23\00:37:22.40 So you know, there were those times 00:37:22.44\00:37:24.21 when we could just laugh, 00:37:24.24\00:37:25.57 the personality would come through 00:37:25.61\00:37:27.84 and they'd ask him questions. 00:37:27.88\00:37:29.21 I remember he had a test. 00:37:29.24\00:37:30.58 They did assessment. 00:37:30.61\00:37:31.95 They want to do a mental assessment 00:37:31.98\00:37:33.31 to see where he was 00:37:33.35\00:37:34.68 before they started certain treatment. 00:37:34.72\00:37:36.99 And so they-- before the ladies asked him 00:37:37.02\00:37:38.35 all these questions 00:37:38.39\00:37:39.72 and he just didn't want to participate. 00:37:39.75\00:37:41.09 Yeah, he did have some treatment, you know, this. 00:37:41.12\00:37:42.69 he's on steroid, the stuff that kind of affected him. 00:37:42.72\00:37:45.26 He was totally irritated. 00:37:45.29\00:37:46.80 He was on his meds and she said, you know, 00:37:46.83\00:37:49.46 "Can you do X,Y,Z?" 00:37:49.50\00:37:51.17 "I will give you nada." Oh, my, I'm like what? 00:37:51.20\00:37:54.27 And he is not a disrespectful child at all. 00:37:54.30\00:37:56.81 This is like one of the most pleasant, well, it's like, 00:37:56.84\00:37:59.44 "okay," that's what she told him. 00:37:59.47\00:38:00.91 Afterwards she said, I understand. 00:38:00.94\00:38:02.28 He's very smart. 00:38:02.31\00:38:03.65 He's just choosing not to do this. 00:38:03.68\00:38:08.15 So we had our times and we would laugh 00:38:08.18\00:38:09.68 but it was challenging for him. 00:38:09.72\00:38:11.05 Oh, yes. It was very, very challenging. 00:38:11.09\00:38:12.42 Hard on us, you know, from one day you are at home, 00:38:12.45\00:38:15.09 you know, living life regular and we weren't at home anymore. 00:38:15.12\00:38:18.29 We lived in a hospital. 00:38:18.33\00:38:19.66 You know, it just, the whole life 00:38:19.69\00:38:21.03 has turned upside down. 00:38:21.06\00:38:22.56 And after he finished his treatment in Philadelphia 00:38:22.60\00:38:25.53 at their Children's Hospital, we came back 00:38:25.57\00:38:27.97 and it was time to start chemo. 00:38:28.00\00:38:30.14 And I remember, I was just in nerves about it 00:38:30.17\00:38:33.01 because from what I was told, chemo is the real kicker, 00:38:33.04\00:38:36.71 you know, he makes it through the radiation, 00:38:36.75\00:38:38.15 chemo was the real kicker. 00:38:38.18\00:38:39.88 And so we had a meeting with the doctors and they said, 00:38:39.91\00:38:43.69 I remember he had a little lump on the back of his neck 00:38:43.72\00:38:47.19 and I went to them and I was like, you know. 00:38:47.22\00:38:48.89 And the doctor said, "Um, a lymph node." 00:38:48.92\00:38:51.83 This kind of cancer does not 00:38:51.86\00:38:53.19 come out of the central nervous system. 00:38:53.23\00:38:54.56 So you won't see it. 00:38:54.60\00:38:56.80 "Don't worry, mom, it's probably lymph node." 00:38:56.83\00:38:58.40 Okay. 00:38:58.43\00:39:00.04 Then they did some preliminary testing to start chemo. 00:39:00.07\00:39:02.57 They did the MRIs 00:39:02.60\00:39:03.94 and again he calls us into the room, 00:39:03.97\00:39:05.47 closes the door. 00:39:05.51\00:39:08.14 "Mom and dad, we're not starting chemo. 00:39:08.18\00:39:10.38 Your son is going to die." 00:39:10.41\00:39:13.42 Just that dry? 00:39:13.45\00:39:14.78 Yeah, I mean, okay, I'm saying like that, 00:39:14.82\00:39:16.42 He was-- this is the good doctor. 00:39:16.45\00:39:17.95 You know, but basically that's what he said, you know. 00:39:17.99\00:39:19.72 We're gonna have-- we'll give you a number for Hospice 00:39:19.75\00:39:22.96 but there's no need for us to do chemo. 00:39:22.99\00:39:26.09 And I was just like 00:39:26.13\00:39:27.66 and the fact that it came out of his-- 00:39:27.70\00:39:29.03 you know, that's unheard of. 00:39:29.06\00:39:30.40 Oh, this-- that was the... 00:39:30.43\00:39:31.77 That was the cancer. Oh, okay. 00:39:31.80\00:39:33.13 It had come out and it was spreading further. 00:39:33.17\00:39:34.67 So you know, it really, it was a very, very aggressive. 00:39:34.70\00:39:36.91 Hyper aggressive. Yeah. 00:39:36.94\00:39:38.27 It was bad. It was bad. 00:39:38.31\00:39:39.64 And you know, literally my-- I was shaking. 00:39:39.67\00:39:43.41 I was, I mean, I could not control my body. 00:39:43.45\00:39:45.31 I just remembered Van was crying and it was painful. 00:39:45.35\00:39:52.59 You know, it was just very painful. 00:39:52.62\00:39:54.52 And I said, you know what, after that, I said, no, no, no. 00:39:54.56\00:39:57.59 I'm not going out like this. 00:39:57.63\00:39:59.23 I'm gonna fight for my child's life. 00:39:59.26\00:40:00.90 And we found the doctor, 00:40:00.93\00:40:02.50 an Adventist doctor who did natural, 00:40:02.53\00:40:04.67 alternative remedy, alternative medicine, 00:40:04.70\00:40:06.80 excuse me, in Mexico. 00:40:06.84\00:40:09.50 And this was Friday 00:40:09.54\00:40:11.11 when we got this traumatizing news. 00:40:11.14\00:40:12.54 Yeah. 00:40:12.57\00:40:13.91 So we went home, you know, Brayden, 00:40:13.94\00:40:15.28 he doesn't know anything. 00:40:15.31\00:40:16.75 I'm so glad, you know, I'm so glad he was five 00:40:16.78\00:40:18.71 where he didn't know what was going on. 00:40:18.75\00:40:21.48 But we went home and we just talked about that, 00:40:21.52\00:40:24.32 "We got to go to this doctor." 00:40:24.35\00:40:25.79 And it was $50,000. 00:40:25.82\00:40:27.82 $50,000 for this treatment because, you know, 00:40:27.86\00:40:29.86 there's no insurance. 00:40:29.89\00:40:32.59 And I put a post on Facebook. 00:40:32.63\00:40:36.77 You know, just telling people we need help. 00:40:36.80\00:40:38.63 We had $50,000 and a plane ticket. 00:40:38.67\00:40:41.90 On Monday morning we were out. 00:40:41.94\00:40:43.47 So we are talking Friday to Monday. 00:40:43.51\00:40:45.47 Yeah. Praise God. 00:40:45.51\00:40:46.84 Yeah, God worked it out and then we get to Mexico, 00:40:46.88\00:40:50.08 you know, it's again it just, 00:40:50.11\00:40:53.11 the whole thing is just traumatizing. 00:40:53.15\00:40:54.58 But I'm like God is good because while we are there, 00:40:54.62\00:40:57.12 we're in this environment where we don't have to cook. 00:40:57.15\00:40:59.02 We don't have to anything. 00:40:59.05\00:41:00.39 You know, the staff there, 00:41:00.42\00:41:01.76 it just kind of taking care of you, 00:41:01.79\00:41:03.12 they are making you meals, they are doing everything. 00:41:03.16\00:41:04.49 We could truly focus on Brayden. 00:41:04.53\00:41:05.86 Brayden, sure. 00:41:05.89\00:41:07.23 And Savannah was there with us. 00:41:07.26\00:41:08.60 We were there as a family. 00:41:08.63\00:41:09.96 And it was a good experience. 00:41:10.00\00:41:12.03 Now how old is Savannah at this point? 00:41:12.07\00:41:13.40 'Cause she's... 00:41:13.44\00:41:14.77 Four. She's four. 00:41:14.80\00:41:16.14 Is she perceiving any of this? No. 00:41:16.17\00:41:17.61 No, she wasn't. Yeah. 00:41:17.64\00:41:19.41 I mean, she knew Brayden was sick. 00:41:19.44\00:41:20.98 You see, be in the bed or you become, you know, 00:41:21.01\00:41:22.61 she knew that... 00:41:22.64\00:41:23.98 Were they close? Oh, yeah. 00:41:24.01\00:41:25.35 Very, very close. Very, very close. 00:41:25.38\00:41:26.78 I have one of the videos I have with them. 00:41:26.82\00:41:29.62 It's just so beautiful I thank God for it. 00:41:29.65\00:41:32.82 We are in the room and Brayden in his bed sleeping 00:41:32.85\00:41:34.86 and they are just, they just start singing. 00:41:34.89\00:41:36.66 They start singing a hymn. 00:41:36.69\00:41:38.03 And they were just so cute and so Savannah is up 00:41:38.06\00:41:39.46 and she's huh and Brayden in his bed like, 00:41:39.49\00:41:42.66 "Stop it Savannah, stop it." 00:41:42.70\00:41:45.17 You know, there's just so funny 'cause 00:41:45.20\00:41:46.90 it's like I'm trying to sing, you dancing 00:41:46.94\00:41:49.00 and doing all this, you know. 00:41:49.04\00:41:51.17 So you know it was just a blessing 00:41:51.21\00:41:52.91 that they were there together. 00:41:52.94\00:41:54.88 Together. And then we left there. 00:41:54.91\00:41:58.31 We left and came back to the States 00:41:58.35\00:41:59.98 and at this point, 00:42:00.02\00:42:01.35 Brayden was in no-- he could not travel back. 00:42:01.38\00:42:03.55 Okay. His condition had gotten worse. 00:42:03.59\00:42:06.99 While we were at-- in Mexico, right before we left, 00:42:07.02\00:42:11.73 he had a seizure. 00:42:11.76\00:42:14.76 This is that time thinking God, 00:42:14.80\00:42:16.53 like want to talk about it now 00:42:16.56\00:42:17.90 because this is one of those things 00:42:17.93\00:42:19.27 I pray that He would erase out of memory for ever. 00:42:19.30\00:42:20.84 I-- this is the worst. 00:42:20.87\00:42:23.74 The lowest point of the whole experience for me. 00:42:23.77\00:42:26.94 But I was just talking to him and he walked to the bed 00:42:26.98\00:42:30.15 and then he started shaking uncontrollably. 00:42:30.18\00:42:32.21 You know, I've never seen a seizure before. 00:42:32.25\00:42:33.58 I mean, I know what they are but I never seen one, 00:42:33.62\00:42:36.02 somebody have one. 00:42:36.05\00:42:37.49 And he was out. 00:42:37.52\00:42:38.85 He was just-- it lasted 30 minutes. 00:42:38.89\00:42:40.49 Oh, my God. The place was in such panic. 00:42:40.52\00:42:42.66 The doctor, he's older, he was literally, 00:42:42.69\00:42:46.73 it was traumatizing for him. 00:42:46.76\00:42:48.66 And I know he thought that this child was gonna die. 00:42:48.70\00:42:50.87 And I freaked out, Van got into medical mode, 00:42:50.90\00:42:55.14 he pushed out through and "SaMonna, go." 00:42:55.17\00:42:57.37 You know he just started working 'cause even the nurse, 00:42:57.41\00:42:59.97 she was so panicked, she-- everybody was flustered like 00:43:00.01\00:43:02.24 they didn't even know what to do and Van just got on it. 00:43:02.28\00:43:04.78 And we worked with him and he was on-- 00:43:04.81\00:43:09.38 the doctor thought he was gonna die. 00:43:09.42\00:43:11.05 Yeah, he kept saying, you know, "Mom, you know, 00:43:11.09\00:43:14.16 very likely he's gonna die." 00:43:14.19\00:43:16.46 And i just held my Bible, I kept singing the hymns 00:43:16.49\00:43:19.03 and praying like, "No, no, God has-- he's not gonna die. 00:43:19.06\00:43:21.93 And I kept reading the scriptures 00:43:21.96\00:43:23.50 and God allowed Brayden to survive that. 00:43:23.53\00:43:25.87 Now were you in Mexico now? This is when we were in Mexico. 00:43:25.90\00:43:27.57 You are still in Mexico. 00:43:27.60\00:43:28.94 Are you still holding out hope that maybe 00:43:28.97\00:43:30.54 he's gonna pull through this somehow? 00:43:30.57\00:43:31.91 Oh, yeah. 00:43:31.94\00:43:33.27 At this point I believing a 100% 00:43:33.31\00:43:35.41 that God is gonna heal him. 00:43:35.44\00:43:36.78 Okay. For various reasons. 00:43:36.81\00:43:38.21 I believed a 100% that God was gonna heal him 00:43:38.25\00:43:40.82 so that was traumatizing but I was like, no. 00:43:40.85\00:43:43.32 And I just kept praying and God brought him through. 00:43:43.35\00:43:46.39 But he could. He was, he's laid there. 00:43:46.42\00:43:48.82 You know, it damaged him. Sure. 00:43:48.86\00:43:50.89 It damaged him. 00:43:50.93\00:43:52.56 So then we were able to go back to this-- 00:43:52.59\00:43:54.86 when we drove back to California, 00:43:54.90\00:43:56.63 my in-laws are there so we stayed at their house. 00:43:56.67\00:43:58.37 Okay. And we took him to Loma Linda. 00:43:58.40\00:44:03.47 You know, I was very nervous at this time 00:44:03.51\00:44:05.41 'cause I'm back in the States 00:44:05.44\00:44:07.21 and the place where they've told us 00:44:07.24\00:44:09.18 to put him on Hospice, right? 00:44:09.21\00:44:10.85 So technically he's not gonna get medical treatment, 00:44:10.88\00:44:13.65 you know, medical treatment 00:44:13.68\00:44:15.02 'cause they are like, "No, no, no, 00:44:15.05\00:44:16.38 we've done everything we can do." 00:44:16.42\00:44:17.75 So I was very nervous. 00:44:17.79\00:44:19.12 I didn't want to be the nurse for Baryden. 00:44:19.15\00:44:21.59 I'm not trained to do that, you know. 00:44:21.62\00:44:23.93 But we go to Loma Linda, and this time we're 00:44:23.96\00:44:27.23 and I was just praying like, 00:44:27.26\00:44:28.60 God, let us know 00:44:28.63\00:44:29.96 that the treatment worked in Mexico. 00:44:30.00\00:44:33.64 And the doctor comes back after being there all night. 00:44:33.67\00:44:37.34 And this time, I said, this one took the cake. 00:44:37.37\00:44:39.97 He stood there, I looked at him 00:44:40.01\00:44:41.71 and I could tell by the look in his eyes, 00:44:41.74\00:44:43.58 he was scared to come and talk to us. 00:44:43.61\00:44:45.45 Because mean and Van were like, "We've heard that. 00:44:45.48\00:44:46.82 What else can you tell us?" Yeah. 00:44:46.85\00:44:48.22 But he came back and he said. "It's horrific." 00:44:48.25\00:44:54.02 Horrific. 00:44:54.06\00:44:56.49 I was like, Lord. 00:44:56.52\00:44:58.53 It's crazy and they wanted to keep him. 00:44:58.56\00:45:00.20 They wanted to keep him just, you know, I guess, 00:45:00.23\00:45:02.56 make him comfortable so he'll go to sleep. 00:45:02.60\00:45:04.70 I wouldn't let them. 00:45:04.73\00:45:06.07 We went back to the house and we did, 00:45:06.10\00:45:08.54 get Hospice so we could have 00:45:08.57\00:45:09.90 the medical treatment and stuff. 00:45:09.94\00:45:11.27 But we continued to pray. 00:45:11.31\00:45:12.67 And then one day, this is why my God is amazing 00:45:14.08\00:45:18.85 and I can tell you how much I love Him. 00:45:18.88\00:45:20.65 He's an amazing God. 00:45:20.68\00:45:22.72 It kind of dawned on me, like, SaMonna, 00:45:22.75\00:45:26.52 What if it's God's will to heal Brayden? 00:45:26.55\00:45:29.62 You know, I've been very public 00:45:29.66\00:45:30.99 about this whole thing on social media, 00:45:31.03\00:45:32.76 you know, asking for prayers, 00:45:32.79\00:45:34.13 telling people God's gonna heal Brayden. 00:45:34.16\00:45:36.00 You know, and a lot of people I'm sure 00:45:36.03\00:45:37.63 because of my conviction on it, believed it as well. 00:45:37.67\00:45:40.57 Yeah. 00:45:40.60\00:45:41.94 And I just, it hit me like okay, God's gonna... 00:45:41.97\00:45:44.41 God might not. 00:45:44.44\00:45:46.21 And then I talked about it 00:45:46.24\00:45:47.64 and then I remember getting on my knees, 00:45:47.68\00:45:49.81 both of us, we got on our knees next to Brayden's bed 00:45:49.84\00:45:53.15 and I call it the most crucial prayer I ever prayed 00:45:53.18\00:45:55.55 and we prayed, 00:45:55.58\00:45:57.05 "God if it's Your will for Brayden to go to sleep, 00:45:57.09\00:46:00.69 we accept it. 00:46:00.72\00:46:02.69 If it's Your will to heal him, 00:46:02.72\00:46:04.46 we accept that, we really accept that." 00:46:04.49\00:46:05.93 Yeah. 00:46:05.96\00:46:07.30 "But whatever You do I can't take another minute of this. 00:46:07.33\00:46:10.17 Do it today." 00:46:10.20\00:46:12.73 And while we're on our knees Brayden went to sleep. 00:46:12.77\00:46:16.64 Oh, my soul. 00:46:16.67\00:46:18.01 And that's why I know, 00:46:18.04\00:46:19.91 I know without a shadow of a doubt this lasted, 00:46:19.94\00:46:22.51 this whole process lasted for five months. 00:46:22.54\00:46:25.48 God held that... But this is fairly rapid. 00:46:25.51\00:46:27.55 I mean, this is from five, yeah... 00:46:27.58\00:46:29.15 This is quick. Yeah. Yeah, it is. 00:46:29.18\00:46:32.02 And from the doctors' reports he should have been dead. 00:46:32.05\00:46:35.69 That's what I was getting. 00:46:35.72\00:46:37.39 You know from the Mexico he should have been dead, 00:46:37.43\00:46:39.86 even before the seizure 00:46:39.89\00:46:41.23 just with the sheer aggressiveness of this, 00:46:41.26\00:46:43.50 of this cancer. 00:46:43.53\00:46:45.40 But I was like God in His mercy 00:46:45.43\00:46:47.40 was waiting for me to get on board 00:46:47.44\00:46:49.44 and truly understand what it means 00:46:49.47\00:46:50.97 to accept and trust His will. 00:46:51.01\00:46:54.31 Because when baby went to sleep I was at peace. 00:46:54.34\00:46:57.55 Yeah. I was at peace. 00:46:57.58\00:46:58.91 So in the midst of your prayer he went to sleep? 00:46:58.95\00:47:00.98 We prayed and it might have been 10 minutes, 00:47:01.02\00:47:03.28 we were just sitting there, you know, 00:47:03.32\00:47:04.95 I was kind of meditating on it. 00:47:04.99\00:47:06.35 It might have been 10 minutes. Okay. 00:47:06.39\00:47:07.89 I'm not even sure 'cause like time was like standing still. 00:47:07.92\00:47:10.19 Oh, she was compressed. Yeah, but he went to sleep. 00:47:10.23\00:47:12.83 Wow. And he looks so cute. 00:47:12.86\00:47:14.60 I mean, honestly I took pictures, 00:47:14.63\00:47:16.00 it might sound weird 00:47:16.03\00:47:17.37 but he looked adorable laying there in peace. 00:47:17.40\00:47:21.24 And what more... 00:47:21.27\00:47:22.60 I mean honestly as a mother 00:47:22.64\00:47:23.97 I don't want my child to suffer. 00:47:24.01\00:47:25.34 Right. Sure. I don't want him suffer. 00:47:25.37\00:47:26.94 And for whatever reason this is what God chose. 00:47:26.98\00:47:31.45 I have a lot of theories on why God allowed it go this way. 00:47:31.48\00:47:35.52 I am, as I reflected on the whole thing 00:47:35.55\00:47:38.25 and kind of prayed, you know, talk to God about it 00:47:38.29\00:47:40.72 because I would tell Him, you know, 00:47:40.76\00:47:42.42 I prayed specific prayers about Brayden 00:47:42.46\00:47:44.63 that he would be someone that will be, 00:47:44.66\00:47:46.80 you know, that you could use. 00:47:46.83\00:47:48.53 And God is like I answered that prayed. 00:47:48.56\00:47:49.90 Yeah. 00:47:49.93\00:47:51.27 You know in five years just because of the, 00:47:51.30\00:47:54.17 that the story was shared I'm telling you, 00:47:54.20\00:47:56.07 people from all over the world were praying for us 00:47:56.10\00:47:59.74 and sending me messages and stuff. 00:47:59.77\00:48:02.01 Brayden's, his little five year old, 00:48:02.04\00:48:04.58 five years of life 00:48:04.61\00:48:06.25 probably touched more people for the kingdom 00:48:06.28\00:48:09.12 than my life or then it could have ever done 00:48:09.15\00:48:11.09 if he lived a full life. 00:48:11.12\00:48:12.45 You know, so God is like I answered that prayer for you. 00:48:12.49\00:48:15.36 And one other thing that 00:48:15.39\00:48:16.73 I really come to realize is that, 00:48:16.76\00:48:18.09 you know, we want God to do miracles for us, right? 00:48:18.13\00:48:21.33 And when I talk, when I go around speaking 00:48:21.36\00:48:23.13 I entitled to talk adjusting your lenses 00:48:23.16\00:48:26.50 because we are so focused on here. 00:48:26.53\00:48:29.00 This is all we can see. 00:48:29.04\00:48:30.37 And the reality is God is not thinking about here, 00:48:30.41\00:48:33.17 you know, this is not His concern. 00:48:33.21\00:48:34.54 Yeah, He has a bigger picture. 00:48:34.58\00:48:37.11 You know, He's seeing other things 00:48:37.15\00:48:38.91 and the devil tries to cloud our view. 00:48:38.95\00:48:41.25 And you know, I prayed things for Brayden. 00:48:41.28\00:48:43.79 I didn't want him to die. 00:48:43.82\00:48:45.15 I wanted him to be healed, you know, 00:48:45.19\00:48:47.22 and the visions I had of him growing up and being this tall, 00:48:47.26\00:48:50.99 chocolate man, you know, all these things 00:48:51.03\00:48:53.53 I thought about my child and God was like, 00:48:53.56\00:48:56.06 don't you know what I've done for Brayden? 00:48:56.10\00:48:58.30 I have healed Braden. 00:48:58.33\00:49:00.00 Braden Caleb Watts 00:49:00.04\00:49:01.37 will never have a cold or sniffle, nothing. 00:49:01.40\00:49:03.91 The healing that I've given him is for eternity. 00:49:03.94\00:49:06.71 You know, if He had healed him here on earth 00:49:06.74\00:49:09.34 he would have got sick again. 00:49:09.38\00:49:10.95 So God answered my prayer. 00:49:10.98\00:49:12.71 You know, they say, 00:49:12.75\00:49:14.08 the Holy Sprit takes your prayers 00:49:14.12\00:49:15.45 and just kind of fixes them? 00:49:15.48\00:49:16.82 Yeah. 00:49:16.85\00:49:18.19 God is like I'm doing this for eternity. 00:49:18.22\00:49:19.55 You stuck on that here now. 00:49:19.59\00:49:20.92 You know, I'm doing this for eternity. 00:49:20.96\00:49:22.29 And he's like, you worried about your son. 00:49:22.32\00:49:23.66 You know I did have... 00:49:23.69\00:49:25.56 I would think about him growing up. 00:49:25.59\00:49:26.93 He's like, when I formed Adam in the dirt, 00:49:26.96\00:49:29.66 do you know how tall he was? 00:49:29.70\00:49:31.10 You know when Brayden gets his, 00:49:31.13\00:49:32.77 his true stature he's gonna be taller than that 6'4" 00:49:32.80\00:49:35.57 that you're thinking about. 00:49:35.60\00:49:36.94 You know, I'm like yeah, you're right Jesus. 00:49:36.97\00:49:39.51 And you pray that he would not die. 00:49:39.54\00:49:41.04 Yeah. Now praise the Lord. 00:49:41.08\00:49:43.11 And we got two minutes 00:49:43.14\00:49:44.48 before we got to wrap this up a little bit. 00:49:44.51\00:49:48.15 Give me some sense and you did say that, 00:49:48.18\00:49:50.89 at this point you're in peace, no anger, no ranker, 00:49:50.92\00:49:54.62 no shaking your finger at God? 00:49:54.66\00:49:56.06 No, no, and that's why God is amazing. 00:49:56.09\00:49:58.26 I tell you no lie. I've not questioned God. 00:49:58.29\00:50:00.43 I'm not angry at God, none of that. 00:50:00.46\00:50:02.46 And I believe I can attribute to the fact 00:50:02.50\00:50:05.40 that God had prepared me for this 00:50:05.43\00:50:07.97 before it happened through all my trials in life, 00:50:08.00\00:50:10.74 you know, up until this headache, 00:50:10.77\00:50:12.47 He had been preparing me. 00:50:12.51\00:50:13.84 I've already been through struggles, 00:50:13.88\00:50:15.21 God and God was showing me more and more about His character 00:50:15.24\00:50:17.31 and then even in the process of Brayden being sick, 00:50:17.35\00:50:20.38 God was showing me His love 00:50:20.42\00:50:21.92 and His mercy in the midst of it. 00:50:21.95\00:50:23.72 And so I just think, I just had a, 00:50:23.75\00:50:25.75 the connection that I needed with God to understand it. 00:50:25.79\00:50:28.96 My God didn't do anything wrong. 00:50:28.99\00:50:31.19 And you know a lot of times, 00:50:31.23\00:50:32.63 most times the devil wants us to charge, 00:50:32.66\00:50:35.70 God falsely for what he is responsible for. 00:50:35.73\00:50:38.10 Yes, yes, I agree. 00:50:38.13\00:50:39.47 No, no, no, no, no, I will not do that. 00:50:39.50\00:50:41.40 You fool, you're responsible for this. 00:50:41.44\00:50:43.47 You know, I'm saying this. You know. 00:50:43.51\00:50:45.51 I'm not gonna charge my God that died for me. 00:50:45.54\00:50:49.08 Now two things I want to get them real quick. 00:50:49.11\00:50:51.75 This kind of thing has a potential to tear 00:50:51.78\00:50:54.38 your marriage apart or binding close together. 00:50:54.42\00:50:56.28 Oh, yes, yes, yes. 00:50:56.32\00:50:57.65 You got another person in the room with you, Van. 00:50:57.69\00:50:59.02 Yes, yes. 00:50:59.05\00:51:00.39 Walk me through that experience real quick. 00:51:00.42\00:51:01.76 Okay, yes. 00:51:01.79\00:51:03.12 Before they started when Brayden got first diagnosed, 00:51:03.16\00:51:05.33 Van said very point blank. 00:51:05.36\00:51:08.06 "If something happens to Brayden I'm done with God." 00:51:08.10\00:51:11.03 That's what he said. 00:51:11.07\00:51:12.47 And where he was right there, you know, 00:51:12.50\00:51:13.84 I believed him because you know, but God is amazing, 00:51:13.87\00:51:16.37 He bought Van through that and Van he was strong. 00:51:16.40\00:51:20.54 He was strong the whole entire way through 00:51:20.58\00:51:23.45 and he's strong now. 00:51:23.48\00:51:24.81 And I'm just like thank you, God, for you did in Van. 00:51:24.85\00:51:27.42 You know it hurts. 00:51:27.45\00:51:29.32 Don't get me wrong but Van is strong. 00:51:29.35\00:51:31.32 He is strong and again with the devil meant for harm 00:51:31.35\00:51:34.06 and did not happen that way. 00:51:34.09\00:51:35.89 And some people were kind enough to tell us 00:51:35.92\00:51:38.19 before Brayden even the passed. 00:51:38.23\00:51:40.06 "Well, you know what they say about marriage" 00:51:40.10\00:51:42.93 and I was like thank you and you tell you that premature. 00:51:42.96\00:51:45.40 Right. 00:51:45.43\00:51:48.40 That's not what it really need to hear right now. 00:51:48.44\00:51:50.21 But we've gone closer together. 00:51:50.24\00:51:53.58 We have, we have that it's a blessing, it's a blessing. 00:51:53.61\00:51:56.04 Yeah. 00:51:56.08\00:51:57.41 This is a powerful testimony 00:51:57.45\00:51:59.05 and really we try to cram this 00:51:59.08\00:52:01.42 into the 47 to 50 minutes that we had. 00:52:01.45\00:52:03.69 But there are so many layers of this kind of experience. 00:52:03.72\00:52:07.52 Should you want to make contact with SoMonna 00:52:07.56\00:52:10.43 to have her come to talk to your group, 00:52:10.46\00:52:12.23 she can talk to your Hospice group, 00:52:12.26\00:52:13.60 she can talk to your young people, 00:52:13.63\00:52:14.96 she can talk to your older people, 00:52:15.00\00:52:16.33 she can talk to your AY society, 00:52:16.36\00:52:18.67 she can talk to your church, 00:52:18.70\00:52:20.04 God has given her now a testimony and a ministry. 00:52:20.07\00:52:22.80 Should you like to make contact 00:52:22.84\00:52:24.17 or have her come to speak to your group, 00:52:24.21\00:52:26.11 here is how you can do precisely that. 00:52:26.14\00:52:28.78 To contact SoMonna Watts for personal training, 00:52:32.28\00:52:34.88 business coaching, motivational speaking 00:52:34.92\00:52:37.39 or for more information about her ministry, 00:52:37.42\00:52:39.65 Extraordinary Living Through Christ, 00:52:39.69\00:52:41.59 you can call her at 240-462-0741. 00:52:41.62\00:52:47.03 That's 240-462-0741. 00:52:47.06\00:52:51.90 Or you can visit her website at samonnawatts.com. 00:52:51.93\00:52:55.94 That's samonnawatts.com. 00:52:55.97\00:53:01.61 You can also email her at samonna@samonnawatts.com 00:53:01.64\00:53:06.21 That's samonna@samonnawatts.com 00:53:06.25\00:53:09.62