I want to spend my life
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Mending broken people
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I want to spend my life
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Removing pain
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Lord, let my words
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Heal a heart that hurts
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I want to spend my life
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Mending broken people
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I want to spend my life
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Mending broken people
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Oh, hello, I'm Shelley Quinn
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and we welcome
you to 3ABN Today.
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We're so glad
that you've tuned in,
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whether you're watching
by television or internet
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or perhaps
listening on the radio.
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You know we want to
thank you for your prayers
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and your financial support
because this is God's network
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and it's your network as well.
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You support it and we
thank you so much for that.
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We have, I believe a
wonderful program today,
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a precious lady that's with us.
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But first I'd like to
read a scripture to you
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because this
truly reminds me of her.
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I'll be reading Romans 8:28-29.
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And the Bible says,
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"We know that all
things work together
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for good to those who love God,
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to those who are the called
according to his purpose."
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Now we can't just stop there.
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It's difficult if
you've just lost your husband
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and your children to say.
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How on earth is God gonna
work this together for good.
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But it continues the thought.
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"For whom he foreknow,
he also predestined to be
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conformed to the
image of his Son,
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that he might be the
firstborn among many brethren."
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God works all things
together for good to confirm us
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to the image of Jesus Christ.
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So even when you're going
through suffering and sorrow,
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God can help you identify
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with the man of
sorrows, Jesus Christ.
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He can help you identify
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with the
suffering of Jesus Christ
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and He can make
you more Christ like.
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And I have to say,
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that's what
happened to our guest today.
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And let me without
further ado introduce her.
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This is Marie Fisher and Marie
comes to us from J. Okalahoma.
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Marie, I'm so glad
that you made it here.
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I'm happy to be here.
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Yes. We met at a
women's ministry.
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I was speaking at
a women's ministry,
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you were the
director for that program.
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And just fell in
love with each other.
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We just have a lot of
things in common, haven't we?
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Yes, we do.
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And it was just a
precious thing to get to know
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you and your momma Polly.
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And we want to
say hello to Polly
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who is watching
right now by television
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and wish you were here as well.
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But, Marie, before we--
we're going to have a song,
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but tell me just a little
bit about a minute's worth.
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What your ministry is all about?
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My ministry is all
about sharing Jesus
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and the story that he has made
out of my life taking a mess
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and making a message.
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It's about-- my
ministry is about healing.
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I do a healing
workshop on abuse.
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I've experienced
all 14 types of abuse
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and I want to help people
be set free from the guilt
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that they carry and
the shame that they carry.
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Amen. Amen.
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Well, we can't wait
to hear your testimony
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and I know you're
going to be blessed by this
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and God will give
you some information
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that you can put to
use in a practical way.
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But first we have
the Ong Family with us
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and I know you've
seen the two sisters
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when they were little ones
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and they were
on the "Kids Time."
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But we're going to have them,
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they are going to be playing
the piano and the violin.
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And first this is
called Praise Medley.
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Mercy, that is a lot
of talent in one family.
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That was the Ong family
and they were playing on piano
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and violin
called "Praise Medley."
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We thank them so much.
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Well, if you're just
joining us a little late,
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our special guest today
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is Marie Fisher
from J. Oklahoma.
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And once again, Marie,
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we're so glad that you are here.
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It's a privileged to be here.
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Yes.
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And, you know, we invited you
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because when I
heard your testimony
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and what God has
done in your life
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and how you're now
out ministering for Him,
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I just felt like the whole world
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needed to hear that.
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So tell us a little
bit about growing up?
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Were you reared in
a Christian family?
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I'm a third
generation Adventist.
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Okay.
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And my mom was an
Adventist, my father was not.
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But I was raised a Seventh-day
Adventist all my life.
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However I didn't know God.
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I knew obedient behavior.
I knew the dos and don'ts.
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I had the head knowledge,
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but I did not have
the heart knowledge.
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Yes.
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And it took tragedy for
me to, to find the Lord.
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Well, when growing
up you never really made
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that personal commitment to God
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I don't think I
knew that He loved me.
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I loved Him and
I made a commitment
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to be the best that I could be.
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Uh-huh, yes.
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But I don't think that I thought
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that He could ever
love someone like me.
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And you know I can
identify with it so much
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and that's what we said
we've got a lot in common
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that I grew up believing, I
had a love affair with Jesus,
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but I thought the
Father was a taskmaster
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who was just
watching me waiting to zap me
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if I did something wrong.
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And it actually-- I
think when you grew up
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with rules without relationship,
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then it results in a
rebellion quite often.
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And that's what
happened to you, isn't it?
00:11:05.42\00:11:07.70
Is that you kind
of get to that point
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where you feel like I can't
do right things all the time
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and you end up
making wrong choices.
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It's-- that's so true,
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but for me to I came
from an abusive childhood.
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So I really felt like God
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could never accept
somebody like me, you know.
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So what was your abuse?
00:11:28.48\00:11:31.69
I had all 14 types of abuse.
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They all fall
under five categories.
00:11:34.24\00:11:36.85
And that is sexual, physical,
00:11:36.88\00:11:39.51
emotional, spiritual and verbal.
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And so those five categories
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I had since I
was four years old.
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Oh, honey.
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But it made me who I am today.
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And Jesus was
able to take my mess,
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make a message and
I can be His story.
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Amen.
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So when you are growing up
suffering from all of that,
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you just had such a
low opinion of yourself.
00:12:03.01\00:12:06.45
You felt like God
couldn't love you.
00:12:06.48\00:12:09.07
How did that affect
the direction of your life?
00:12:09.10\00:12:13.22
It was like a roller coaster.
00:12:13.25\00:12:15.06
I constantly
tried to be the best
00:12:15.09\00:12:21.03
that I could be for him,
for my husband, for my mother,
00:12:21.06\00:12:24.84
I've always felt like
I've failed everybody.
00:12:24.87\00:12:27.67
I was never going
to be a good wife.
00:12:27.70\00:12:29.24
I was never
gonna be a good mother.
00:12:29.27\00:12:30.44
I was never gonna be a
good daughter you know.
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I could never measure up.
00:12:33.22\00:12:36.81
So it affect
everything in my life.
00:12:36.84\00:12:38.54
You know, I hate
behind behavioral obedience
00:12:38.57\00:12:41.90
and I had behind
perfection and mask and comedy
00:12:41.93\00:12:45.24
and all the things
that so many victims do.
00:12:45.27\00:12:50.12
But I didn't
recognize it, because I came--
00:12:50.15\00:12:53.59
I was brought up in a
religious environment that was,
00:12:53.62\00:12:57.50
I hate to say legalistic,
00:12:57.53\00:12:59.60
but I felt like no
one really knew me.
00:12:59.63\00:13:04.07
I felt like a
stranger in my own church.
00:13:04.10\00:13:06.36
I felt like people
didn't really even understand
00:13:06.39\00:13:08.72
what I was going
through, even God.
00:13:08.75\00:13:11.86
Did they know what
you were going through?
00:13:11.89\00:13:13.47
Did your family
know about your abuse
00:13:13.50\00:13:15.19
or at what point
did this become exposed?
00:13:15.22\00:13:17.49
It became exposed
when I was 10, parts of it.
00:13:17.52\00:13:23.42
The parts that I
would let become exposed.
00:13:23.45\00:13:27.84
There was incest in our home
00:13:27.87\00:13:29.54
and so that's
how it was exposed.
00:13:29.57\00:13:32.71
And but there was
so much more in-depth
00:13:32.74\00:13:35.60
that I wasn't ready to
let my parents know, so.
00:13:35.63\00:13:41.41
So you are making
every effort you can,
00:13:41.44\00:13:46.22
not understanding
that God's plan is that,
00:13:46.25\00:13:49.82
He's the one that's
going to work in you
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to willing to do
His good pleasure.
00:13:52.00\00:13:54.05
You're doing all
you can to please God,
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to please
everyone that's around you
00:13:56.94\00:13:59.47
because you're
trying to be accepted,
00:13:59.50\00:14:01.59
you're fearful, worried
about abandonment and rejection.
00:14:01.62\00:14:06.19
What kind of
choices did you make?
00:14:06.22\00:14:08.95
Did you marry the right
person or let talk about this.
00:14:08.98\00:14:12.31
No.
00:14:12.34\00:14:13.37
Absolutely-- You can't make
00:14:13.40\00:14:16.09
a good choice without
God, without knowing Him.
00:14:16.12\00:14:19.15
You know, so obviously I
made a lot of horrible mistakes
00:14:19.18\00:14:22.42
and horrible choices.
00:14:22.45\00:14:24.56
I-- led me to do
multiple marriages.
00:14:24.59\00:14:27.15
And you know...
00:14:27.18\00:14:30.37
I needed God and I
would always go to God
00:14:30.40\00:14:32.74
in my closet alone
00:14:32.77\00:14:35.22
because I couldn't
trust anybody, you know.
00:14:35.25\00:14:37.77
I even didn't
trust God with all this.
00:14:37.80\00:14:39.82
You know you had mentioned
you know that you thought,
00:14:39.85\00:14:41.84
you didn't know the Father.
00:14:41.87\00:14:42.90
Well, I always thought that
the Father was like holding me
00:14:42.93\00:14:46.35
over the fire pit
and I was the marshmallow
00:14:46.38\00:14:48.46
and it was his hand
that was holding the stick
00:14:48.49\00:14:50.66
and saying, you better
do this, you better do that.
00:14:50.69\00:14:52.79
And, so of course
I saw an image of God
00:14:52.82\00:14:56.02
that wasn't love,
so I really didn't know
00:14:56.05\00:14:58.23
how to let someone love me.
00:14:58.26\00:15:01.01
So I chose
people that I could fix,
00:15:01.04\00:15:04.75
instead of
letting anyone into me.
00:15:04.78\00:15:06.73
I figured it was
easier for them to hurt me
00:15:06.76\00:15:10.22
than for them to
hurt someone else
00:15:10.25\00:15:12.14
because I was used to it.
00:15:12.17\00:15:13.66
So I would
choose the comfort zone
00:15:13.69\00:15:15.78
that I was accustomed
to and that was abuse.
00:15:15.81\00:15:19.68
That's and that happen
so frequently with abuse--
00:15:19.71\00:15:22.95
You know this is--
00:15:22.98\00:15:24.01
And this is often why you see
00:15:24.04\00:15:25.60
when someone
who is grown up say,
00:15:25.63\00:15:27.98
with an alcoholic father
00:15:28.01\00:15:30.52
who will then marry an alcoholic
00:15:30.55\00:15:32.81
because they are
in their comfort zone.
00:15:32.84\00:15:35.54
This is the type of behavior
00:15:35.57\00:15:36.85
that almost
seems to become normal.
00:15:36.88\00:15:38.95
But if you can't love God,
00:15:38.98\00:15:43.05
I believe the whole
gospel is founded on love
00:15:43.08\00:15:46.29
and if you can't
accept God's love,
00:15:46.32\00:15:49.50
if you don't
think-- If you feel like
00:15:49.53\00:15:51.63
you have to be good
enough for God to love you.
00:15:51.66\00:15:53.95
If you, you know,
love this reciprocal.
00:15:53.98\00:15:57.27
I mean we love God
because He first loved us.
00:15:57.30\00:16:01.05
Amen.
00:16:01.08\00:16:02.12
And if we don't
understand that once again
00:16:02.15\00:16:06.95
it is something that we
keep God at arm's length
00:16:06.98\00:16:10.53
because we can't
really draw close to Him
00:16:10.56\00:16:12.99
and we don't accept His love.
00:16:13.02\00:16:14.84
So you then are
making some bad choices,
00:16:14.87\00:16:19.91
multiple marriages,
repeating the cycle of abuse.
00:16:19.94\00:16:24.99
Marie, what was
your wake up call?
00:16:25.02\00:16:27.82
I had a tragedy, horrible auto
accident in November 11, 1999.
00:16:27.85\00:16:35.29
It marked the change of my life.
00:16:35.32\00:16:37.08
It was a
horrible, horrible accident
00:16:37.11\00:16:39.14
where my son who had
just turned 6 years old,
00:16:39.17\00:16:42.51
his name was Dillon, was
ejected out of the vehicle.
00:16:42.54\00:16:48.61
We were going 72
miles an hour and we,
00:16:48.64\00:16:51.84
I over corrected
00:16:51.87\00:16:53.45
and the vehicle spun like a top.
00:16:53.48\00:16:56.45
There's actually some
pictures they can show.
00:16:56.48\00:16:59.43
That's Dillon.
00:16:59.46\00:17:00.54
He's very gorgeous.
00:17:00.57\00:17:01.81
And he had just turned
six, he was in first grade.
00:17:01.84\00:17:05.09
And we have this auto accident
00:17:05.12\00:17:07.51
and they said that I
don't remember anything,
00:17:07.54\00:17:09.81
we were unconscious,
00:17:09.84\00:17:11.09
but we had top hold like a top
00:17:11.12\00:17:13.64
and we had rolled four times,
00:17:13.67\00:17:15.81
one more time we
were about 20 feet away
00:17:15.84\00:17:17.84
from where Dillon was ejected
out of a broken side window.
00:17:17.87\00:17:21.47
And one more time
00:17:21.50\00:17:22.55
we would have
landed on top of him.
00:17:22.58\00:17:24.86
But most of the
impact of to his skull.
00:17:24.89\00:17:28.30
He had multiple skull fractures.
00:17:28.33\00:17:30.12
He wasn't breathing
when they found him.
00:17:30.15\00:17:31.85
He was on life support and coma
00:17:31.88\00:17:35.98
and they were talking to
my husband, his father...
00:17:36.01\00:17:40.18
about getting his organs
00:17:40.21\00:17:42.11
because they
didn't expect him to live.
00:17:42.14\00:17:44.10
I was in another
hospital at the time,
00:17:44.13\00:17:46.54
that's him as well
00:17:46.57\00:17:47.71
but I was in another
hospital at the time.
00:17:47.74\00:17:51.38
And we were several miles apart,
00:17:51.41\00:17:53.67
like 40 miles apart.
00:17:53.70\00:17:55.07
So I was in an intensive
care in another hospital
00:17:55.10\00:17:58.17
because I broke my neck.
00:17:58.20\00:18:00.16
And my wrists and my knees
00:18:00.19\00:18:01.90
and they
expected me to be a quad.
00:18:01.93\00:18:05.51
Quadriplegic?
00:18:05.55\00:18:08.70
I would be
paralyzed from the neck down.
00:18:08.73\00:18:10.90
And when the
neurosurgeon came to talk to me,
00:18:10.93\00:18:13.36
he said, you need to
have surgery and I said,
00:18:13.39\00:18:15.42
well, what are my
chances and he said,
00:18:15.45\00:18:16.84
you have a 50-50
chance to live and that's it.
00:18:16.87\00:18:21.09
You know there was
no, no chance to walk
00:18:21.12\00:18:23.22
or anything that my
spinal cord was already pinched.
00:18:23.25\00:18:26.76
So he said when
you get in there,
00:18:26.79\00:18:28.61
when we go to fix everything
00:18:28.64\00:18:30.39
it could snap and you could die,
00:18:30.42\00:18:32.62
but we can fuse it together.
00:18:32.65\00:18:35.07
If it doesn't snap it's like
a worm and I didn't know that.
00:18:35.10\00:18:37.68
They said it's like a
worm, when you break it,
00:18:37.71\00:18:39.19
it's just, it's done.
00:18:39.22\00:18:41.09
And I said how many
people have you killed?
00:18:41.12\00:18:42.81
And he said, none.
00:18:42.84\00:18:43.89
And I said okay,
then let's do this.
00:18:43.92\00:18:45.98
I'm going with God
because my husband could never,
00:18:46.01\00:18:49.23
hadn't seen me yet.
00:18:49.26\00:18:50.65
It was four days
after the accident,
00:18:50.68\00:18:52.46
but he stayed with our son
00:18:52.49\00:18:54.54
because he was
so severely injured.
00:18:54.57\00:18:57.55
That was the
changing point in my life.
00:18:57.58\00:18:59.64
I came home and he was still--
00:18:59.67\00:19:03.19
My son was
still in the hospital.
00:19:03.22\00:19:04.36
I didn't know anything.
00:19:04.39\00:19:05.42
They wouldn't tell me
how bad he was, but I knew.
00:19:05.45\00:19:08.23
You know, I knew in my heart,
00:19:08.26\00:19:09.71
I knew and I started
crying out to the Lord
00:19:09.74\00:19:12.31
and I started listening
to music and I couldn't walk,
00:19:12.34\00:19:15.29
I crawled to the bathroom
00:19:15.32\00:19:16.66
and I crawled to
take care of myself,
00:19:16.69\00:19:18.70
but I wasn't a quad.
00:19:18.73\00:19:20.57
And I eventually walked
and everything obviously
00:19:20.60\00:19:23.20
and so God had different
plans for us than what medical.
00:19:23.23\00:19:26.58
They said we were miracles.
00:19:26.61\00:19:30.03
They used my son
as a miracle child
00:19:30.06\00:19:31.66
at Phoenix
Children's Hospital for years
00:19:31.69\00:19:34.38
because they said it was like,
00:19:34.41\00:19:35.61
he had a helmet on
inside of his skull,
00:19:35.64\00:19:37.96
he should have
been completely dead,
00:19:37.99\00:19:41.18
number one, and
never even have a hope.
00:19:41.21\00:19:43.41
But they said, it was
bruised inside of his brain
00:19:43.44\00:19:45.90
rather than
traumatic brain injury.
00:19:45.93\00:19:49.16
He had bruising and
as the bruising shrunk
00:19:49.19\00:19:52.06
he became better and better.
00:19:52.09\00:19:53.84
He has some residual
side effects as we all do.
00:19:53.87\00:19:56.44
But to look at
him and to see him,
00:19:56.47\00:19:58.93
you would think he would
be a perfectly normal child.
00:19:58.96\00:20:02.48
And the Lord just had
done miracles in our lives.
00:20:02.51\00:20:05.48
He was blind in one
eye and after seven weeks
00:20:05.51\00:20:08.15
he asked me to
pray over and I said no,
00:20:08.18\00:20:10.78
I'm not gonna ask
for more, we're grateful.
00:20:10.81\00:20:13.79
We're so grateful to
be where we're at today.
00:20:13.82\00:20:16.46
And the Lord
said, pray over his eye.
00:20:16.49\00:20:20.79
And I said, okay.
00:20:20.82\00:20:22.29
I put my hand over and I said,
00:20:22.32\00:20:24.77
Lord, I don't know
why I'm doing this.
00:20:24.80\00:20:26.97
I have no idea why You're
asking me to pray for more.
00:20:27.00\00:20:29.92
My son is alive,
he's here, he's walking,
00:20:29.95\00:20:33.53
he was on a walker
at the time, you know.
00:20:33.56\00:20:35.51
He had to relearn to
walk, to talk, to eat,
00:20:35.54\00:20:37.90
he was in diapers,
he relearned everything.
00:20:37.93\00:20:40.35
I said, but I
have to be obedient
00:20:40.38\00:20:42.94
and if You're asking
me to do something more
00:20:42.97\00:20:44.88
than I'm, I'm gonna do it.
00:20:44.91\00:20:46.97
And if not, if I'm
hearing You wrong I'm so sorry.
00:20:47.00\00:20:49.73
When I put my hand on
him and I prayed and I said,
00:20:49.76\00:20:52.02
Lord, you're
the great physician,
00:20:52.05\00:20:54.96
You can do all things.
00:20:54.99\00:20:56.18
I believe that
with all my heart.
00:20:56.21\00:20:57.80
I'm not asking You to do
that, I'm just being obedient
00:20:57.83\00:21:02.04
'cause I feel like the
spirit has asked me to do it.
00:21:02.07\00:21:04.80
I'm asking You
just to take care of him
00:21:04.83\00:21:07.05
and I'm praising You
for where we're today.
00:21:07.08\00:21:10.16
And I took him the
next day to eye doctor,
00:21:10.19\00:21:14.39
what are they?
00:21:14.42\00:21:15.88
Ophthalmologist, yes, thank you.
00:21:15.91\00:21:17.72
And I took him
there and he said,
00:21:17.75\00:21:18.96
you know, if I didn't
have this child's history
00:21:18.99\00:21:21.45
and his chart in front me
00:21:21.48\00:21:22.79
and I didn't
know the pediatrician
00:21:22.82\00:21:24.23
that saying to me was reputable,
00:21:24.26\00:21:25.71
there's nothing
wrong with his eye.
00:21:25.74\00:21:28.26
He says, actually it's
like a new born baby's eye.
00:21:28.29\00:21:31.99
I know.
00:21:32.02\00:21:33.05
I praise God and I
looked up to my son eyes.
00:21:33.08\00:21:35.96
And I said, I sort of
crying I said, Dillon,
00:21:35.99\00:21:39.36
Jesus hasn't done with you yet.
00:21:39.39\00:21:40.80
And he says, I know that.
00:21:40.83\00:21:42.99
Now I kid you not, his
eye was peripheral vision.
00:21:43.02\00:21:46.70
He went like this
all the time to read,
00:21:46.73\00:21:48.62
from the moment he said,
00:21:48.65\00:21:49.76
I know that his eyes
went oop and natural shape,
00:21:49.79\00:21:53.65
he never did it again.
00:21:53.68\00:21:55.02
The doctor and I
just, we were like amazed.
00:21:55.05\00:21:58.68
He never used peripheral vision,
00:21:58.71\00:22:00.26
he never had to go like
this, his eye took natural shape
00:22:00.29\00:22:02.72
and it used to
be a smaller shape,
00:22:02.75\00:22:05.21
an almond shape and he
has big brown round eyes.
00:22:05.24\00:22:07.66
So, and he's perfect today.
00:22:07.69\00:22:10.49
Glory to God.
00:22:10.52\00:22:11.58
Aren't you glad
that you're obedient,
00:22:11.61\00:22:13.93
that your God is impressing you,
00:22:13.96\00:22:15.75
the spirit is
impressing you to lay your hand
00:22:15.78\00:22:18.22
on your son's eye and
pray and God had something
00:22:18.25\00:22:21.37
so faith building to let
you see how much He loved you.
00:22:21.40\00:22:27.71
I mean you're
both walking miracles.
00:22:27.74\00:22:29.73
Amen.
00:22:29.76\00:22:30.79
No doubt.
00:22:30.82\00:22:31.85
But tell us, you said
this was the changing point,
00:22:31.88\00:22:35.90
this was a
turning point for you.
00:22:35.93\00:22:38.41
Tell us about going
through your recovery process.
00:22:38.44\00:22:43.39
How did God?
00:22:43.42\00:22:45.71
How did you begin to understand
how much God really loved you?
00:22:45.74\00:22:50.85
Well, I believe
that my accident,
00:22:50.88\00:22:53.26
the injuries to me were for me.
00:22:53.29\00:22:55.82
They were for me
to grow in Christ,
00:22:55.85\00:22:57.64
for me to see
how much He loved me.
00:22:57.67\00:22:59.24
The injuries for my son
were to help other people
00:22:59.27\00:23:03.44
find the love of Christ.
00:23:03.47\00:23:05.15
My father and his
father for instance,
00:23:05.18\00:23:07.53
you know, and so they were drawn
00:23:07.56\00:23:09.91
to the Lord
through Dillon's incidence.
00:23:09.94\00:23:12.29
But my accident I laid
alone and I spoke to the Lord
00:23:12.32\00:23:16.22
and I cried and I listened
to music and one evening I,
00:23:16.25\00:23:20.26
after several days
of being home I remember
00:23:20.29\00:23:22.64
the Lord said,
Marie, you've asked me
00:23:22.67\00:23:26.62
since you were a child,
00:23:26.65\00:23:27.87
why did these
things happen to you?
00:23:27.90\00:23:29.97
Why did I allow
them to happen to you?
00:23:30.00\00:23:32.89
And He says, I'm gonna
show you and I'm gonna show you
00:23:32.92\00:23:36.46
right where I was,
during the whole process.
00:23:36.49\00:23:39.37
And He took me
with my own children
00:23:39.40\00:23:42.24
and He said, remember
when you laid Christopher
00:23:42.27\00:23:45.09
on the gurney when he was
gonna have surgery on his ears
00:23:45.12\00:23:48.21
and he was just 18 months old
00:23:48.24\00:23:49.66
and you thought, I
wish I could take his place.
00:23:49.69\00:23:52.55
I wish he didn't have to suffer.
00:23:52.58\00:23:54.58
He goes, that's where I was.
00:23:54.61\00:23:56.02
I was right next to you
and I felt the same way.
00:23:56.05\00:23:58.37
I wish I could take your place.
00:23:58.40\00:24:00.08
I wish you
didn't have to suffer.
00:24:00.11\00:24:02.54
But you knew the
outcome for your son
00:24:02.57\00:24:04.88
would bring glory to him
00:24:04.91\00:24:06.48
and he would be better
off going through this.
00:24:06.51\00:24:08.64
And I knew the outcome with you
00:24:08.67\00:24:09.98
going through this
will bring glory to Me
00:24:10.01\00:24:12.71
and you would help other people
00:24:12.74\00:24:14.84
who have
suffered the same things.
00:24:14.87\00:24:16.69
And I want you to know
00:24:16.72\00:24:17.87
where I was
throughout your childhood
00:24:17.90\00:24:19.56
and throughout your marriages
00:24:19.59\00:24:20.62
and throughout
your cries for me.
00:24:20.65\00:24:22.35
I was right beside you.
00:24:22.38\00:24:24.13
And if you had died and
this was so awesome for me.
00:24:24.16\00:24:27.66
If you had died
in that accident,
00:24:27.69\00:24:31.51
I would have come for you.
00:24:31.54\00:24:33.50
I would have saved you.
00:24:33.53\00:24:35.24
Even though you lived
in behavioral obedience,
00:24:35.27\00:24:37.78
even though you didn't
know how much I loved you.
00:24:37.81\00:24:41.77
He says, but I want
you to have a joyful life.
00:24:41.80\00:24:44.75
I want you to be
joyful in Christ.
00:24:44.78\00:24:46.81
I want you to
know that I love you.
00:24:46.84\00:24:48.21
I don't want you to be
afraid to be a Christian
00:24:48.24\00:24:51.52
who loves and is free.
00:24:51.55\00:24:53.61
And I want to take
away all these guilt
00:24:53.64\00:24:55.30
and I want to
take away all the shame
00:24:55.33\00:24:57.21
and I want you to know
how special you're to Me
00:24:57.24\00:25:00.94
and that was my changing point.
00:25:00.97\00:25:02.52
It was like, there was
a song called River God.
00:25:02.55\00:25:05.29
And it talks about
God being the river
00:25:05.32\00:25:07.65
and sometimes
the river is raging
00:25:07.68\00:25:09.36
and sometimes
the river is smooth
00:25:09.39\00:25:12.17
and that's the Holy
Spirit over our lives,
00:25:12.20\00:25:14.47
but the prayer is
that you would pick me up
00:25:14.50\00:25:17.44
and notice that I'm a
little smoother in your hand.
00:25:17.47\00:25:20.06
I started singing that everyday.
00:25:20.09\00:25:22.83
And I started reading
scripture and I could not,
00:25:22.86\00:25:25.72
I could not get enough of God,
00:25:25.75\00:25:28.02
it was Him and me
everyday for months
00:25:28.05\00:25:30.17
and months and months, you know,
00:25:30.20\00:25:31.36
because I was
healing, my son was healing
00:25:31.39\00:25:33.51
and we just spent
time with God and literally
00:25:33.54\00:25:37.73
I just told somebody
recently I miss that,
00:25:37.76\00:25:40.05
I miss that moments with God,
00:25:40.08\00:25:42.74
every single moment
I've just devouring Him,
00:25:42.77\00:25:46.08
you know, and
feeling so precious to Him.
00:25:46.11\00:25:49.47
And, you know, it's a shame
that life comes back to life.
00:25:49.50\00:25:54.45
You know, we have to go back
00:25:54.48\00:25:55.60
into the hustle
and bustle of reality
00:25:55.63\00:25:57.95
when we're not
healing from an accident,
00:25:57.98\00:26:00.01
that's that tragedy.
00:26:00.04\00:26:01.77
We have to go back into
life and I went back to work
00:26:01.80\00:26:04.06
and my son went back to
school and life took over
00:26:04.09\00:26:06.53
and I would literally cry
and say, Lord, I miss you.
00:26:06.56\00:26:10.32
I miss You. God
I didn't even know.
00:26:10.35\00:26:15.14
I know exactly what, you know,
00:26:15.17\00:26:16.42
when I was running
the ministry at home.
00:26:16.45\00:26:19.00
I could spin, sometimes
three, four hours in prayer
00:26:19.03\00:26:22.76
and all day in
the word and of course
00:26:22.79\00:26:25.01
you're answering
phone calls and things
00:26:25.04\00:26:27.04
but when I came to 3ABN,
00:26:27.07\00:26:30.41
then suddenly I've
got a position here that,
00:26:30.44\00:26:33.51
you know,
there's a lot of things
00:26:33.54\00:26:34.57
and you're up at
4.30 in the morning
00:26:34.60\00:26:38.44
and you come to work by 7.00
00:26:38.47\00:26:40.57
and you don't
get home till 7.00,
00:26:40.60\00:26:43.42
so you don't have
that same amount of time
00:26:43.45\00:26:45.16
and I do know what you mean.
00:26:45.19\00:26:46.74
But how precious
that God ministered to you
00:26:46.77\00:26:49.96
and that you opened your
heart and let Him pour His love
00:26:49.99\00:26:53.80
into your heart and you
began to truly understand.
00:26:53.83\00:26:57.56
But you know it's not
just about your healing
00:26:57.59\00:27:00.48
because as I said you and Dillon
00:27:00.51\00:27:03.30
are both walking miracles.
00:27:03.33\00:27:05.52
But God had more
in store for Marie
00:27:05.55\00:27:08.64
than just the healing process.
00:27:08.67\00:27:11.81
You know, Paul
says in 1 Corinthians
00:27:11.84\00:27:14.76
that God is the
God of all comfort
00:27:14.79\00:27:17.84
and that He comforts us
so that we can comfort others
00:27:17.87\00:27:22.31
with the same
comfort He Has given us.
00:27:22.34\00:27:24.86
And God has given you a mandate,
00:27:24.89\00:27:27.76
God gas given you a ministry
and I want you to talk about
00:27:27.79\00:27:34.00
that ministry
just a little lets...
00:27:34.03\00:27:36.84
Well, it came about
from that time with God.
00:27:36.87\00:27:39.90
It came about
with that studying.
00:27:39.93\00:27:42.45
I would write down
everything that I would read.
00:27:42.48\00:27:45.77
I would get up and
I would read the Bible
00:27:45.80\00:27:47.58
and I would
write down everything
00:27:47.61\00:27:48.81
that the Holy
Spirit was showing me
00:27:48.84\00:27:50.26
that the Bible was teaching me.
00:27:50.29\00:27:52.35
You know, and I
would set it aside and then
00:27:52.38\00:27:55.16
when my niece was living with us
00:27:55.19\00:27:58.17
at the time and when my
niece would come home I'd say,
00:27:58.20\00:28:00.80
look what God showed me today.
00:28:00.83\00:28:02.80
And I would share
what God showed me today
00:28:02.83\00:28:04.55
and day after day I
would just write and write
00:28:04.58\00:28:06.95
write and write and
she said Aunt Marie,
00:28:06.98\00:28:09.82
she says you're
not just studying.
00:28:09.85\00:28:12.29
You're writing a
book about your story.
00:28:12.32\00:28:13.74
This is a book about your life.
00:28:13.77\00:28:15.57
And I said oh, no I
got it out of the Bible
00:28:15.60\00:28:18.29
and it's
everything that I studied
00:28:18.32\00:28:20.30
and she says yeah,
00:28:20.33\00:28:21.36
but look it it's your story
and I said no, it's God story.
00:28:21.39\00:28:25.19
And so I wrote this
book "My Journey with Jesus,
00:28:25.22\00:28:28.93
from Victim to Vessel."
00:28:28.96\00:28:30.00
And it's a manuscript
and then shortly thereafter
00:28:30.03\00:28:33.18
I was asked to share my
story and I took the manuscript
00:28:33.21\00:28:37.24
and you know,
00:28:37.27\00:28:38.30
I've given out probably
500 copies of it for people.
00:28:38.33\00:28:40.93
And then God said it's not
00:28:40.96\00:28:42.16
about the money
it's about the message.
00:28:42.19\00:28:44.13
Share your message and share
00:28:44.16\00:28:46.45
what I've have done in your life
00:28:46.48\00:28:48.33
and let me be glorified.
00:28:48.36\00:28:50.02
And so I started speaking
at retreats and luncheons
00:28:50.05\00:28:55.18
and different things like that.
00:28:55.21\00:28:56.24
And pretty soon
I had this burden
00:28:56.27\00:28:58.27
for the people like
me who had been abused
00:28:58.30\00:29:03.11
and who needed
that to be set free
00:29:03.14\00:29:05.16
and who needed the
biblical tools to be set free
00:29:05.19\00:29:09.13
and to be loved
unconditionally the way
00:29:09.16\00:29:11.68
that only God can do.
00:29:11.71\00:29:13.32
You know, and I
had said to my brother
00:29:13.35\00:29:15.64
who is
Seventh-day Adventist pastor
00:29:15.67\00:29:17.45
and I've said, I wish
there was something out there
00:29:17.48\00:29:20.15
for women like me
that wouldn't have to wait
00:29:20.18\00:29:22.45
until they're 42
years old to be set free.
00:29:22.48\00:29:24.39
I wish there was
something out there
00:29:24.42\00:29:25.75
and he says well, sis
it's gonna take somebody
00:29:25.78\00:29:28.37
that's been through it.
00:29:28.40\00:29:29.43
It's gonna take somebody
that has a burden for it.
00:29:29.46\00:29:31.39
It's gonna take
somebody that knows Jesus,
00:29:31.42\00:29:33.61
so when are you gonna do it?
00:29:33.64\00:29:34.70
And I said oh, no the Lord
hasn't laid it on my heart.
00:29:34.73\00:29:37.77
I'm not gonna do that.
00:29:37.80\00:29:39.02
About I'd say nine months
late 2 o'clock in the morning
00:29:39.05\00:29:43.25
that was our time
that God set for us to talk
00:29:43.28\00:29:45.86
because I'm very busy
like you and you know,
00:29:45.89\00:29:49.14
I wrap myself
into everything a 100%
00:29:49.17\00:29:52.03
and so at 2 o'clock in
the morning I still know
00:29:52.06\00:29:54.84
that I'm God time
and he woke me up.
00:29:54.87\00:29:58.25
And lots of time he would
00:29:58.28\00:29:59.98
and I would get a
message and I would get up
00:30:00.01\00:30:01.57
and I would
write everything down.
00:30:01.60\00:30:02.98
This particular
time I said, it was like,
00:30:03.01\00:30:06.12
Marie I want you to do
00:30:06.15\00:30:07.18
something with
that abuse seminar
00:30:07.21\00:30:09.49
and I said are you kidding?
00:30:09.52\00:30:11.38
And he said no,
do I kid with you
00:30:11.41\00:30:13.80
and he says
sometimes 'cause he does.
00:30:13.83\00:30:15.83
God has a sense of humor.
00:30:15.86\00:30:16.89
Yes, and you know I just
want to hit the pause button
00:30:16.92\00:30:19.84
for just a second 'cause
I want to explain something.
00:30:19.87\00:30:22.10
You're doing what I often do
00:30:22.13\00:30:23.68
and sometimes
people misunderstand
00:30:23.71\00:30:26.13
when she's saying that
she's hearing God speak,
00:30:26.16\00:30:28.68
this is we're
talking about 1 King 19:12
00:30:28.71\00:30:32.67
where Elijah heard this
still small voice of the Lord.
00:30:32.70\00:30:38.26
Anytime that we hear
00:30:38.29\00:30:40.49
the Bible speaks of
the audible voice of God,
00:30:40.52\00:30:44.08
it is majestic
like David like roar,
00:30:44.11\00:30:48.36
like roaring waters--
00:30:48.39\00:30:51.47
Or it's in Revelation
like a multitude of waters
00:30:51.50\00:30:56.70
but when or I
think at Mount Sinai
00:30:56.73\00:31:00.16
when they heard
though the verbal you know,
00:31:00.19\00:31:02.69
the audible voice of God.
00:31:02.72\00:31:04.77
They do need to knock
because it was so majestic
00:31:04.80\00:31:07.94
but the still
small voice of the Lord
00:31:07.97\00:31:10.15
that we're referring to,
00:31:10.18\00:31:11.48
and so many of you
have experienced it
00:31:11.51\00:31:13.91
is when the Holy Spirit
00:31:13.94\00:31:15.92
impresses a
thought upon your mind
00:31:15.95\00:31:18.89
that you know it's not yours,
00:31:18.92\00:31:20.60
you know it's a thought from God
00:31:20.63\00:31:24.24
and that's what
you're talking about.
00:31:24.27\00:31:25.75
Yeah. It's not that you hear.
00:31:25.78\00:31:26.96
An audible voice but
there is this conversation
00:31:26.99\00:31:29.92
and so many people, you
know, that God impressed
00:31:29.95\00:31:33.78
that thought on your
mind from time to time.
00:31:33.81\00:31:36.89
And the truth is
if you will be still
00:31:36.92\00:31:40.43
as Isaiah 46 or
excuse me Psalm 46:10
00:31:40.46\00:31:45.57
"Be still, and
know that I am God."
00:31:45.60\00:31:48.25
And when you are still your--
God gives you ears to hear
00:31:48.28\00:31:53.95
what the Holy
Spirit has just said.
00:31:53.98\00:31:55.43
Absolutely and I think
sometimes we don't listen
00:31:55.46\00:31:58.80
and that's the problem.
00:31:58.83\00:32:00.15
We pray and we ask and we praise
00:32:00.18\00:32:02.82
and we tell God everything
but do we stop and listen?
00:32:02.85\00:32:05.80
That is the exchange
between our savior and us
00:32:05.83\00:32:10.82
to have him be part of our life.
00:32:10.85\00:32:13.10
That's the real relationship
00:32:13.13\00:32:14.82
you know, is to
listen as well as to speak.
00:32:14.85\00:32:17.88
I mean, what good would
it be if we were talking
00:32:17.91\00:32:20.09
and I did all the
talking and didn't listen.
00:32:20.12\00:32:22.76
But we have to
remember that the Holy Spirit
00:32:22.79\00:32:25.03
where there's nothing to
be fearful of the Holy Spirit
00:32:25.06\00:32:26.95
will never say
anything that doesn't line up
00:32:26.98\00:32:29.95
in agreement
with the word of God.
00:32:29.98\00:32:32.43
So if you're hearing
something you are not sure
00:32:32.46\00:32:35.17
is this is a message from God
or this is my own conscience,
00:32:35.20\00:32:38.60
if it all lines up with
the Bible, it's from God.
00:32:38.63\00:32:41.25
If it doesn't
line up with the Bible,
00:32:41.28\00:32:43.07
it's something else.
00:32:43.10\00:32:44.14
And this little
still small voice
00:32:44.17\00:32:45.85
that said I want you to do this.
00:32:45.88\00:32:47.66
Was of God because I
had-- I said okay, Lord,
00:32:47.69\00:32:52.11
and he gave me
the ABC's of healing,
00:32:52.14\00:32:54.56
abuse and wounds to call it.
00:32:54.59\00:32:56.30
He gave me all the scriptures,
everything in my mind
00:32:56.33\00:32:59.28
and I said, yes Lord
I think I can do that.
00:32:59.31\00:33:02.24
Normally I would get
up and write everything.
00:33:02.27\00:33:04.12
This particular
night I just said
00:33:04.15\00:33:06.05
and I felt like I
talked to him for 10 minutes.
00:33:06.08\00:33:08.38
It was like two hours
00:33:08.41\00:33:09.81
but I didn't even
write a thing down.
00:33:09.84\00:33:12.29
The next morning
I got up and I said,
00:33:12.32\00:33:14.85
Lord, was that you that do
I have this in my head still
00:33:14.88\00:33:19.05
because if it was
you I will know this,
00:33:19.08\00:33:21.38
and I got up and I
went to the computer
00:33:21.41\00:33:23.24
and I started
typing everything down.
00:33:23.27\00:33:25.84
My brother who is the minister
called me and this is so--
00:33:25.87\00:33:30.46
it's so like God you
know it's so affirm--
00:33:30.49\00:33:33.57
you know affirming
00:33:33.60\00:33:35.13
that He is in
charge of your life
00:33:35.16\00:33:37.22
and if you will follow
Him, He will lift you up
00:33:37.25\00:33:40.72
to do mighty things
through Him you know.
00:33:40.75\00:33:43.54
And so I was
typing and he called in,
00:33:43.57\00:33:45.89
my brother called
in and he says sis,
00:33:45.92\00:33:47.59
did you do anything with,
and this was nine months later.
00:33:47.62\00:33:50.44
He says did you do anything
with that abuse seminar thing
00:33:50.47\00:33:53.76
that you were talking about
and I said it wasn't for me
00:33:53.79\00:33:56.68
that God didn't
laid upon my heart
00:33:56.71\00:33:58.27
and I don't think that
00:33:58.30\00:33:59.35
we should move
forward without God.
00:33:59.38\00:34:01.06
And we shouldn't
stay behind God either
00:34:01.09\00:34:02.91
but we should walk
side by side with God.
00:34:02.94\00:34:05.18
And I said so I told you
it wasn't about, you know,
00:34:05.21\00:34:08.78
it wasn't for me He
didn't lay it on my heart
00:34:08.81\00:34:10.40
and he goes yeah, he's going to,
00:34:10.43\00:34:12.58
and I said you know
it's so weird Mitch,
00:34:12.61\00:34:15.61
I said I'm right now
typing the last paragraph
00:34:15.64\00:34:20.38
of a healing abuse seminar
00:34:20.41\00:34:22.81
that God gave me last
night and he goes good
00:34:22.84\00:34:25.46
because you're
coming to my church.
00:34:25.49\00:34:27.18
We have people
who need it and I know
00:34:27.21\00:34:28.92
that God would lay
it upon your heart.
00:34:28.95\00:34:30.43
Praise the Lord.
00:34:30.46\00:34:31.49
Two weeks later I went and
gave my first healing seminar.
00:34:31.52\00:34:35.96
Let me ask you in
the healing process,
00:34:35.99\00:34:38.42
we have about
two more minutes that
00:34:38.45\00:34:40.65
and I would like to
talk to you about this
00:34:40.68\00:34:42.00
because there are so many people
00:34:42.03\00:34:44.79
that are watching right now,
00:34:44.82\00:34:46.42
who have suffered some kind
of abuse if it's not sexual,
00:34:46.45\00:34:50.06
it could be physical but
there's even that verbal,
00:34:50.09\00:34:54.30
mental, emotional abuse
and even spiritual abuse.
00:34:54.33\00:34:58.00
How important is it
00:34:58.03\00:35:00.37
that you learn
to forgive the one
00:35:00.40\00:35:04.26
who abused you and how
did God help you in that?
00:35:04.29\00:35:08.22
Well, it's extremely
important and God helped me
00:35:08.25\00:35:13.15
because the Bible is
full of the knowledge
00:35:13.18\00:35:15.80
that we must forgive.
00:35:15.83\00:35:17.81
He says how can I
go before the father,
00:35:17.84\00:35:19.57
I will not go before the father
00:35:19.60\00:35:21.33
and ask
forgiveness for your sins,
00:35:21.36\00:35:23.18
if you will not forgive others
00:35:23.21\00:35:24.88
who have
transgressed against you.
00:35:24.91\00:35:26.82
So that is one of the
steps of the healing process.
00:35:26.85\00:35:29.71
A is admit-- admit
00:35:29.74\00:35:31.59
that it has happened to you.
00:35:31.62\00:35:32.82
Admit how you feel about it.
00:35:32.85\00:35:34.70
Admit that either
and it works the same
00:35:34.73\00:35:37.08
for victim or perpetrator.
00:35:37.11\00:35:39.86
So God loves us all--
00:35:39.89\00:35:42.12
Amen.
00:35:42.15\00:35:43.19
God loves us all and He
wants us all to be set free
00:35:43.22\00:35:45.89
and He wants us
all to be forgiven
00:35:45.92\00:35:47.61
and He wants us all to be saved.
00:35:47.64\00:35:49.46
And the second part is believe,
believe that you must forgive.
00:35:49.49\00:35:53.91
Yes.
00:35:53.94\00:35:54.98
Believe that it is
essential that you forgive.
00:35:55.01\00:35:59.12
Without
forgiveness there's no healing
00:35:59.15\00:36:01.28
and so many times
we hold on to our anger
00:36:01.31\00:36:05.18
and our bitterness
00:36:05.21\00:36:06.69
and our resentment
towards what's happened to us.
00:36:06.72\00:36:10.19
And God-- God has showed me
00:36:10.22\00:36:12.90
in so many ways
you are a human being.
00:36:12.93\00:36:17.32
Who do you think you are,
00:36:17.35\00:36:18.53
that you
shouldn't have suffered?
00:36:18.56\00:36:20.40
Who do you think you are
00:36:20.43\00:36:22.20
that I went to the cross for you
00:36:22.23\00:36:24.13
and that you're gonna go
through life with nothing?
00:36:24.16\00:36:26.23
If you follow me,
you are gonna suffer,
00:36:26.26\00:36:29.60
no matter what it
is, we are gonna suffer
00:36:29.63\00:36:32.59
when we follow
Christ in some way
00:36:32.62\00:36:35.73
but we are gonna
have joys and peace
00:36:35.76\00:36:38.42
that we can't even imagine
when we let Him into our life.
00:36:38.45\00:36:41.52
We're gonna
have a change of life
00:36:41.55\00:36:43.17
and a change of character.
00:36:43.20\00:36:44.46
We can't even
imagine the great things
00:36:44.49\00:36:46.18
that are gonna
happen in our life
00:36:46.21\00:36:47.63
because Jesus came
in and Jesus cleansed us
00:36:47.66\00:36:50.73
and Jesus changed our lives.
00:36:50.76\00:36:52.19
And took our mess and
made it His story, His message.
00:36:52.22\00:36:57.03
It is a beautiful thing
and I count it like Paul,
00:36:57.06\00:37:00.45
I count it a privilege to
have suffered for the Christ.
00:37:00.48\00:37:04.10
Now I never question God
why these things happened.
00:37:04.13\00:37:07.57
I thank Him and I praise Him
00:37:07.60\00:37:09.08
that I may able to
be used to help someone.
00:37:09.11\00:37:11.84
But how does someone
who is watching today.
00:37:11.87\00:37:15.04
How did they go
through this heal
00:37:15.07\00:37:17.58
or this forgiving
process 'cause it is a process.
00:37:17.61\00:37:20.95
It's a process,
00:37:20.98\00:37:22.04
it's not something that
is a quick fix you know.
00:37:22.07\00:37:25.39
We especially as
victims have mask
00:37:25.42\00:37:28.42
and we have safety
zones and we have walls
00:37:28.45\00:37:30.66
that we built up.
00:37:30.69\00:37:31.87
It is a biblical principle there
00:37:31.90\00:37:34.79
it's that's why it's a workshop.
00:37:34.82\00:37:36.17
They have sheets
through the A process,
00:37:36.20\00:37:38.47
through the B
process, through the C process.
00:37:38.50\00:37:41.10
And then we have what
I call bonfire to freedom
00:37:41.13\00:37:43.34
and we write letters and
we burn those at the end.
00:37:43.37\00:37:45.85
But it's a
process that you learn
00:37:45.88\00:37:48.21
that's through scripture
through Jesus' own words
00:37:48.24\00:37:51.30
that shows you how to be
set free that you can use
00:37:51.33\00:37:54.14
over and over and over again
00:37:54.17\00:37:56.06
when we want to resort
back into our safety zones
00:37:56.09\00:37:59.57
or our nets that we hold,
you know, we fall back into.
00:37:59.60\00:38:03.12
I believe that most people think
00:38:03.15\00:38:06.14
that they're
gonna quickly be healed.
00:38:06.17\00:38:08.38
It's not like that.
00:38:08.41\00:38:10.09
It's a process of walking
00:38:10.12\00:38:12.10
with God just
like sanctification.
00:38:12.13\00:38:14.53
It's a process of walking
with God and learning that hey,
00:38:14.56\00:38:18.53
I don't want to
go back that way.
00:38:18.56\00:38:19.68
I want to walk with God.
00:38:19.71\00:38:21.25
And requires me to forgive
00:38:21.28\00:38:24.10
and God requires
me to do these things.
00:38:24.13\00:38:26.73
But you can acknowledge, okay,
00:38:26.76\00:38:29.71
I need to
forgive, God requires this.
00:38:29.74\00:38:32.47
Can you share just
a few practical steps
00:38:32.50\00:38:35.34
of what how you really get in,
00:38:35.37\00:38:38.37
get to that point of forgiving?
00:38:38.40\00:38:44.48
For me it was recognizing
that I needed forgiveness.
00:38:44.51\00:38:48.27
Okay.
00:38:48.30\00:38:49.49
For me I'd always blamed
everyone else for my tragedy,
00:38:49.52\00:38:54.23
for my bad choices from
my mistakes that I made.
00:38:54.26\00:38:57.21
Rather than to
look at my own self
00:38:57.24\00:38:59.29
and most victims will do that,
they will blame everyone else.
00:38:59.32\00:39:02.72
And let's clarify here.
00:39:02.75\00:39:03.78
When you're
talking about bad choices,
00:39:03.81\00:39:05.29
you are talking
not about the abuse
00:39:05.32\00:39:07.90
that happened to you its--
00:39:07.93\00:39:10.24
The choices you made afterward.
00:39:10.27\00:39:11.96
Absolutely.
00:39:11.99\00:39:13.02
So because we don't
want anyone out there
00:39:13.05\00:39:15.34
who has been victimized
to feel like you're guilty
00:39:15.37\00:39:19.99
and there's a lot of
shame that comes with this.
00:39:20.02\00:39:22.17
Yes.
00:39:22.20\00:39:23.23
You know, people just if
you been a victim of abuse,
00:39:23.26\00:39:25.72
there's a lot of shame.
00:39:25.75\00:39:27.62
So how does someone
whose husband has beaten her
00:39:27.65\00:39:30.78
or how does someone who has been
00:39:30.81\00:39:33.30
molested by a grandfather.
00:39:33.33\00:39:35.97
How do they get to that point?
00:39:36.00\00:39:39.14
Do you have a practical step
00:39:39.17\00:39:41.60
you recognize you
needed forgiveness.
00:39:41.63\00:39:43.79
You have to admit it first,
00:39:43.82\00:39:45.01
okay, this is
the practical step.
00:39:45.04\00:39:47.17
You have to admit
that it has even happened
00:39:47.20\00:39:49.65
'cause most of
the time we hide it.
00:39:49.68\00:39:51.48
Whether you're a victim
or perpetrator you hide it,
00:39:51.51\00:39:54.75
so you have to admit
to God how angry you feel,
00:39:54.78\00:39:58.61
how upsetting it
is, how bitter you are.
00:39:58.64\00:40:00.87
You have to admit to God
00:40:00.90\00:40:01.93
that all these
things actually happened
00:40:01.96\00:40:04.20
and that you
have these emotions.
00:40:04.23\00:40:05.74
And as a Christian
it's very difficult
00:40:05.77\00:40:07.43
to have these angry
emotions towards God
00:40:07.46\00:40:09.82
and feel like they're right.
00:40:09.85\00:40:11.52
Yeah.
00:40:11.55\00:40:12.59
And so you're still
half in and half out
00:40:12.62\00:40:17.07
because you don't want
to admit that these feelings
00:40:17.10\00:40:21.11
that you have are
not, they're not justified.
00:40:21.14\00:40:24.45
Right.
00:40:24.48\00:40:25.51
You can't justify
them and be a Christian.
00:40:25.54\00:40:27.64
You can't.
00:40:27.67\00:40:28.70
To kind of know that but you--
in your mind you are just--
00:40:28.73\00:40:31.08
you're trying to justify.
00:40:31.11\00:40:32.52
You're trying to justify
and you're trying to say,
00:40:32.55\00:40:34.10
well, it's because of
that happening in my life
00:40:34.13\00:40:35.76
that I responded this way
00:40:35.79\00:40:37.56
or it's because of
that happening in my life
00:40:37.59\00:40:39.05
that I made this bad choice
and it's because of that person
00:40:39.08\00:40:41.93
who did this and that the other
that my life is so messed up.
00:40:41.96\00:40:45.18
Well, yes, you were a victim
and it is never your fault
00:40:45.21\00:40:50.75
and you never ask for it
and you probably cried out
00:40:50.78\00:40:53.96
a million times over to
stop and know don't do this.
00:40:53.99\00:40:59.56
And my son has a
problem with that.
00:40:59.59\00:41:02.83
He cannot accept Christ
00:41:02.86\00:41:04.89
because he says
what kind of father,
00:41:04.92\00:41:06.98
what kind of God would let
these things happen to you?
00:41:07.01\00:41:12.31
And, you know,
victims hold on to that
00:41:12.34\00:41:14.36
and say what kind of God are you
00:41:14.39\00:41:16.51
that you would
let this happen to me.
00:41:16.54\00:41:19.14
He's a merciful
God. He's a fair God.
00:41:19.17\00:41:21.50
He's a loving God and
He says we have choices
00:41:21.53\00:41:24.59
and this is what
I said to my son.
00:41:24.62\00:41:26.95
We all have choices that
person that chose to molest me,
00:41:26.98\00:41:31.62
he had a choice and if
God would have stepped in
00:41:31.65\00:41:34.79
and said no you can't do that.
00:41:34.82\00:41:36.85
Who would have been
the first person to come
00:41:36.88\00:41:38.45
and say oh,
that's not a fair God,
00:41:38.48\00:41:40.13
He didn't let
him make that choice.
00:41:40.16\00:41:42.00
That's intercessory
prayer is so important.
00:41:42.03\00:41:44.19
Absolutely.
00:41:44.22\00:41:45.25
If someone would have
been praying for the person
00:41:45.28\00:41:47.05
that abused me at four years old
00:41:47.08\00:41:50.07
may be his mind
would have been changed
00:41:50.10\00:41:52.96
and that wouldn't have happened.
00:41:52.99\00:41:54.02
And you know often this is hard,
00:41:54.05\00:41:56.02
a difficult thing to
say but there's a young man
00:41:56.05\00:41:59.81
who's a Christian singer,
his name is Christian Burdol.
00:41:59.84\00:42:03.01
And he said that he
would do the same thing
00:42:03.04\00:42:05.92
with the Lord saying you know,
00:42:05.95\00:42:07.67
why did you let
these things happen?
00:42:07.70\00:42:09.83
And what the Lord told Christian
00:42:09.86\00:42:11.27
was that there are
called rules of engagement and--
00:42:11.30\00:42:16.14
and his mother was
not protecting him.
00:42:16.17\00:42:19.78
His mother was putting-- I mean
00:42:19.81\00:42:21.30
I don't think she knew
exactly what was going on
00:42:21.33\00:42:23.78
but she kept putting
him in a bad situation
00:42:23.81\00:42:26.62
as child with leaving
him with various boyfriends
00:42:26.65\00:42:30.21
who were taking
advantage of him.
00:42:30.24\00:42:32.09
So that-- you know,
00:42:32.12\00:42:33.55
there's all these
things, there's so many things
00:42:33.58\00:42:35.47
and God doesn't make
us, we're not robots.
00:42:35.50\00:42:39.99
God makes us once
who can have free will
00:42:40.02\00:42:45.25
and respond and if
he's-- all of the sin
00:42:45.28\00:42:48.12
won't be coming to an
end until Jesus returns
00:42:48.15\00:42:51.98
and then He promises
that sin will rise no more.
00:42:52.01\00:42:54.98
So if someone
will admit and believe
00:42:55.01\00:42:57.48
that they have to
admit it happened believe
00:42:57.51\00:43:01.29
that they have to
forgive and then pray--
00:43:01.32\00:43:05.73
And they're forgiven.
00:43:05.76\00:43:07.19
And that they're
forgiven, that's true.
00:43:07.22\00:43:09.01
Because you can't just forgive
and tell you forgive yourself
00:43:09.04\00:43:11.91
because victims and perpetrators
00:43:11.94\00:43:13.96
especially are gonna
carry a whole lot of guilt.
00:43:13.99\00:43:16.27
And when they find Christ,
00:43:16.30\00:43:17.57
they don't know
how to let it go.
00:43:17.60\00:43:18.67
Amen.
00:43:18.70\00:43:19.76
So they have to
also forgive themselves.
00:43:19.79\00:43:22.88
You have to forgive yourself
00:43:22.91\00:43:24.10
and find that you
are priceless to God.
00:43:24.13\00:43:26.54
Amen.
00:43:26.57\00:43:27.60
Before you can ever
forgive someone else
00:43:27.63\00:43:29.79
and once you have been forgiven
that is the step that is next.
00:43:29.82\00:43:33.36
You can forgive, you can
then forgive someone else.
00:43:33.39\00:43:36.71
So God is now using you
to put on these workshops
00:43:36.74\00:43:41.03
and we want to give
people the opportunity
00:43:41.06\00:43:45.28
if he want to get
in touch with Marie,
00:43:45.31\00:43:48.23
Marie is available to
come speak at your church
00:43:48.26\00:43:50.65
or to put on a workshop
00:43:50.68\00:43:52.59
and we just got to see
about getting your book
00:43:52.62\00:43:56.38
beyond manuscript and published,
00:43:56.41\00:43:58.33
Marie, that
something that we need--
00:43:58.36\00:43:59.83
If it's the Lords will.
00:43:59.86\00:44:00.90
If it's the Lords will, yes.
00:44:00.93\00:44:02.37
So if you would like to
get in touch with Marie Fisher
00:44:02.40\00:44:05.29
and perhaps invite
her to a women's event
00:44:05.32\00:44:07.71
or didn't have to be for
women only to your church.
00:44:07.74\00:44:10.93
Here's how you can
get in touch with her.
00:44:10.96\00:44:13.06
If you would like to invite
Marie to your church this week
00:44:14.96\00:44:17.75
or to hold a
workshop then you can write
00:44:17.78\00:44:20.08
to Women's Ministry
Abuse Seminary Workshop,
00:44:20.11\00:44:23.01
P.O. Box 941
Jay, Oklahoma 74346.
00:44:23.04\00:44:28.61
That's Women's Ministry
Abuse Seminary Workshop,
00:44:28.64\00:44:31.71
P.O. Box 941
Jay, Oklahoma 74346.
00:44:31.74\00:44:37.38
You can call 480-322-4548.
00:44:37.41\00:44:41.54
That's 480-322-4548.
00:44:41.57\00:44:45.49
Or you can email her
00:44:45.52\00:44:47.35
at RioVerdeFisher@msn.com.
00:44:47.38\00:44:55.04
Contact her today.
00:44:55.98\00:44:57.24
I'm sure you
would enjoy the message
00:45:03.68\00:45:06.13
that God Has
given Marie's to share,
00:45:06.16\00:45:08.31
many messages
not just about abuse.
00:45:08.34\00:45:11.74
But, you know, we
just have to make sure
00:45:11.77\00:45:13.65
that we say this
before the program ends
00:45:13.68\00:45:15.52
is that you are in a wonderful
marriage now for many years.
00:45:15.55\00:45:21.18
God gave you a wonderful man.
00:45:21.21\00:45:22.83
Tell us about Mark?
00:45:22.86\00:45:24.82
Mark is my gift, my
treasure that God gave me
00:45:24.85\00:45:29.49
to say not only
did he want me to know
00:45:29.52\00:45:32.05
how much he loved me.
00:45:32.08\00:45:33.11
He wanted me to experience love
00:45:33.14\00:45:35.46
like I've never
experienced human love as well.
00:45:35.49\00:45:38.56
And so when we got married,
I did the prayer and I prayed,
00:45:38.59\00:45:43.55
I said Lord help
me to always remember
00:45:43.58\00:45:45.69
that You Gave me this treasure.
00:45:45.72\00:45:48.02
Help me to always value
him the way that You value me.
00:45:48.05\00:45:51.36
And help me to always
focus on the good things.
00:45:51.39\00:45:54.54
And I have to say that we
have had a wonderful marriage
00:45:54.57\00:45:59.46
and he is a
wonderful Christian man
00:45:59.49\00:46:01.70
and I praise
God for him everyday
00:46:01.73\00:46:04.03
and he as well praise
God for me, words and all.
00:46:04.06\00:46:07.71
You know, he loves
me unconditionally.
00:46:07.74\00:46:10.51
And I have been very
blessed, very blessed.
00:46:10.54\00:46:13.32
The Lord can take a life
00:46:13.35\00:46:14.91
and just turn it upside
down and make it beautiful.
00:46:14.94\00:46:18.49
And as you always
say God took your mess
00:46:18.52\00:46:21.81
and made it into a message
and we're just so thankful
00:46:21.84\00:46:24.36
that you are
here to share with us.
00:46:24.39\00:46:26.49
Oh, we're gonna come
back in just a moment
00:46:26.52\00:46:28.43
before closing
thought from Marie,
00:46:28.46\00:46:31.00
but right now what we like to do
00:46:31.03\00:46:33.53
is we're gonna
go to a second song
00:46:33.56\00:46:35.28
and this is the Ong Family
on the piano and the violin
00:46:35.31\00:46:39.82
and they're going to be
playing "How Great Thou Art."
00:46:39.85\00:46:42.50