Participants: John Lomacang (Host), Chuck Hagele, Dick Bullock, Donna Bullock, Hannah Bullock
Series Code: TDY
Program Code: TDY014098A
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00:01 I want to spend my life
00:06 Mending broken people 00:12 I want to spend my life 00:17 Removing pain 00:23 Lord, let my words 00:29 Heal a heart that hurts 00:34 I want to spend my life 00:40 Mending broken people 00:45 I want to spend my life 00:51 Mending broken people 01:07 Hello, friends, welcome to 3ABN Today. 01:09 My name is John Lomacang. 01:10 Thank you so much for tuning in. 01:12 Thank you for taken the time to pause in your day 01:16 and join your 3ABN family. 01:18 But if you're joining us for the very first time, 01:21 lock in this channel because we believe 01:23 that the Lord always has a message 01:25 that's pertinent and relevant, 01:27 and as we've been convicted getting everyone ready 01:30 for the coming of the Lord. 01:32 Today our program is about transformation renewal, 01:35 starting all over again, hope, revival, 01:39 all those words can fit into the topic 01:41 of our discussion today 01:42 and we have a wonderful panel of guests today. 01:47 And I have to my right somebody that's co-hosting with me. 01:49 Good to have you here, Chuck. Thank you. 01:51 Now, Chuck Hagel, am I saying that correctly? 01:53 Hagele. Hagele. 01:55 Almost sounds like the defense secretary 01:57 of the United States. 01:59 You know that's funny that you said that 02:00 because I get twitter for him and it's usually not kind. 02:04 And it takes me a minute to realize 02:06 that's not me they're talking to. 02:07 Okay. Okay. 02:08 Well, good to have you here today. 02:09 It's great to be here. 02:10 Now, he is my co-host today 02:12 for a program that features Project Patch. 02:15 And you'll find out what that is in just a few moments. 02:18 But it's good to have you here. You've been here before. 02:20 And as I said before the program began, 02:21 you just got up ready to co-host. 02:23 Oh, this is exciting. 02:24 So you're in the hot seat 02:25 so, people are gonna be listening to you. 02:27 You know, we always begin our program with music today, 02:30 and we've have a young man by the name of Johan E. Sentana 02:34 and he's gonna be playing a song, 02:35 'Tis So Sweet To Trust In Jesus'. 07:54 Thank you so much for that wonderful song. 07:56 I think it sets the stage wonderfully for our program, 07:59 'What is it mean to trust in Jesus'. 08:02 And we have our guest today 08:04 that I'd like to introduce you to at this time. 08:06 I'll begin to my immediate right even though 08:08 I've somewhat introduced him earlier. 08:11 Let me just go and have him tell you 08:13 who he is and what he does 08:14 and where are you from right now? 08:16 Well, I'm from Vancouver, Washington. 08:17 Okay. My name is Chuck. 08:20 I'm the executive director of Project Patch. 08:22 And what that means is I do 08:23 what all the rest of our staff don't want to do, 08:25 so I'm the person that has to do 08:26 some of the detailing that are involved, 08:29 rest of our team is really active 08:31 helping families, helping kids, 08:33 helping transform churches to be more helpful for kids. 08:35 Okay it's good to have you here today. 08:36 It's great to be here. 08:37 Since you're so close, I'll shake your hand again. 08:38 I like it. 08:39 Tell us, starting with you, who you are? 08:42 Where are you from? And what you right now? 08:44 So good to have you by the way. Well, thank you, John. 08:46 My name is Dick Bullock, and I'm pastor 08:49 of the Vassar and Port Sanilac 08:51 Seventh-day Adventist Churches in Michigan. 08:54 Okay. 08:55 And I'm here because we're family 08:59 that had been greatly blessed 09:01 by the ministry of Project Patch. 09:02 Okay. 09:04 And to your immediate right, young lady, 09:05 tell me your name and where are you from? 09:07 My name is Hannah and I live in Michigan. 09:10 I'm a student at Southern Adventist University right now. 09:13 And I'm a nursing major. 09:15 Okay, well, good to have you here. 09:16 You have a reprieve from that very cold Michigan weather. 09:20 That's a good choice being in southern. 09:21 Yes. 09:22 Okay, and to your far right, 09:24 tell me your name and where are you from? 09:26 My name is Donna Bullock 09:28 and I'm the proud mother of Hannah. 09:32 Okay. 09:34 And right now I'm staying at home, 09:39 basically being a pastor's wife 09:41 and enjoying doing some healthy ministry. 09:43 Okay, so you're domestic engineer. 09:45 Yes. 09:46 You know, they have these use new terms nowadays. 09:49 I've heard environmental technician, 09:52 you know, people that collect garbage, 09:56 but that's a job that is a 24 hour day. 09:59 You know, pastor, you've heard the phrase, 10:00 "A man may work from sun to sun 10:02 but woman's work is never done." 10:04 So thank you for being in that spot 10:06 to hold things together while your pastor 10:09 is shepherding the flocks. 10:10 Now, before we get to the story 10:12 that the Bullock family is going to share today. 10:15 Walk us through a little bit about Project Patch. 10:18 I think our viewers and listeners 10:19 would like to know what that is. 10:20 Well, Project Patch started 30 years ago which 1984. 10:24 Imagine what it was like in 1984, pre internet, 10:27 pre all these things that are happening, 10:29 but at that point there are kids out there 10:30 that parents didn't know what to do with. 10:32 And kids started to get in trouble, 10:34 kids who were active in that party lifestyle. 10:36 And so parents were bringing kids to Tom Sanford, 10:39 the founder of Project Patch. 10:41 He wasn't sure what to do. 10:42 He was looking for some sort of resource to send him to. 10:44 Ironically he was using yellow pages 10:46 and row index at that point. 10:48 What can we do with all these kids that are coming to us? 10:51 Thirty years later what we found is that 10:53 the problems that families are encountering, 10:55 the challenges that kids are facing 10:57 are even, are even bigger. 10:59 And so Project Patch started with Tom 11:01 not knowing what to do with it, 11:02 turned into a youth ranch for troubled kids. 11:04 Now, it's a family program what we have in Goldendale, 11:07 and what we're attempting to do is to, 11:09 in this world the families and kids being pulled apart. 11:12 We're trying to share God's hope. 11:14 Okay, Goldendale is where? 11:15 Goldendale, Washington, center of Washington. 11:17 We've 500 acres, 11:18 it's a resort for family therapy. 11:20 Wow! 500 acres? 11:22 So are there any hills there, I'm just assuming. 11:25 It's one of the most amazing pieces of property. 11:28 There is a 70 foot waterfall. 11:30 Canyon that goes through the property. 11:32 What amazes me is that, I want to share this-- 11:35 this concept that God started Patch on a seeming problem. 11:39 Okay. 11:40 But He has filled it with abundance. 11:42 I mean our youth ranches are 170 beautiful acres 11:45 in the mountains of Idaho. 11:46 Our family programs is really a special place 11:48 that He has provided. 11:50 You know, and the story that we have 11:51 is that has been terrifying to work with families for years 11:53 because the problems are so big. 11:55 You know, for kids like Hannah, 11:57 they're going to get a chance to meet. 11:59 Life is hard. Okay. 12:00 You know, but the realities 12:01 in all this difficulty God has provided 12:03 in abundant ways to helps kids and families 12:06 and so we've been privileged to be a part of that. 12:08 Now, I remember having a program with you in the past. 12:11 But between that program and now, 12:13 you had an opportunity to go on national television. 12:15 Tell us little bit about that? Was it about the same topic? 12:17 Yeah, that was a crazy situation 12:19 in which we've been praying for a child 12:21 to get into our program. 12:22 And there were some legal things happening 12:24 with mom and dad that they're separated, 12:27 you know, and custodial things 12:28 and we didn't know what to do and ironically we were saying, 12:31 get a lawyer, get a lawyer and we were praying. 12:34 What happened was that 12:35 we got a call from Dr. Phil Show. 12:37 Wow! 12:38 And saying if this mom agrees on the Show 12:41 to send her kid to Patch, would you still take her? 12:44 And we said, yes. 12:46 And so it's amazing, I mean to look at the situation 12:49 and say, you know, God can use 12:51 a secular media to accomplish His will. 12:55 You know, we are expecting attorneys 12:56 and all these things but God is at work in a way 12:58 that we've never would have thought possible 13:00 and the neat thing about that 13:01 is that the church treated her with respect. 13:04 God heard to the youth ranches 13:06 and she's been doing fantastically. 13:08 Her life redeemed even though that 13:09 they're doing it for their profit. 13:11 We're so grateful that it worked out the way it did. 13:14 That's wonderful. 13:15 You know, I want to dive into the story of the Bullock family 13:19 and Donna, Hannah, and Dick Bullock, 13:22 Pastor Bullock here. 13:25 Take me first-- I want to lay a little foundation 13:28 because being a pastor, I'm a pastor, I would say, 13:33 you're in a little different setting than I am 13:35 because I don't have any children. 13:37 When my wife and I travel, you know, married 31 years 13:40 and they say, well how many children do you have? 13:41 I said I don't have children, I have sheep. 13:44 But you have sheep and children. 13:47 That's right. 13:48 And so, that's quite a little extra added challenge there. 13:51 Take us to-- introduce to us the Bullock family. 13:55 A day in the life of the Bullock family. 13:56 I mean, how long have you been the pastor now? 13:58 Thirty years. Okay. 13:59 Going on 30 years here. Okay. 14:03 Basically, a little bit of our background, 14:08 I grew up out in the country, I mean way out. 14:12 Our closest neighbor was 6 miles 14:14 for 10 years of my life. 14:16 That's up in Michigan? 14:17 No, that was actually in Kansas. 14:20 Oh! Wow! 14:21 My father worked as account manager 14:25 for managing different church youth camps. 14:28 So I had this ideal setting to grow up. 14:32 You know, we didn't own a whole lot, 14:34 but we had lakes and horses and boats and a lot of work. 14:39 You know what I mean, cleaning cabins, doing dishes, 14:42 pots and pens, that type of thing. 14:43 And so I really appreciated the country. 14:46 And I always wanted to be able to raise my children 14:51 in a country setting and as they were older. 14:55 For Hannah, most of her years from the time, what you were? 15:00 Year and a half I think it was, 15:01 we accepted a call to pastor a church in Utah, 15:05 Salt Lake City area. 15:08 And the Lord opened the way for us to rent a house 15:11 out there at the end of a dead end canyon 75 acres.. 15:15 I grew up on horses. 15:17 Wanted to share that with my kids. 15:19 And that was the opportunity we had. 15:22 We would buy a horse that was green broke and I-- 15:27 my girls and I would train it. 15:30 And we just had ideal setting, 15:32 ride a mile down the road either way 15:34 and you can hit trails up in the mountains 15:36 and ride all day long. 15:38 It was just a-- 15:40 and we were there for 10 years. 15:41 It was a blessed time to raise our children, 15:45 we home schooled. 15:47 So our family was, you know, we were 15:51 in kind of a sheltered background in the sense that 15:54 we were out in the country and home schooled 15:57 and there wasn't a lot of the influence 15:59 of the cities and that thing. 16:02 We never had television in our home. 16:05 And yet the enemy still works to get our young people. 16:12 And when we accepted a call to pastor 16:15 a couple of churches in Michigan, 16:18 that was a hard time for Hannah, our other two, 16:21 Hannah's next older sister is 6 years 16:25 and our first child has 10 years differencing. 16:28 So she was-- the others were off to college 16:31 and she was kind of alone. 16:34 She was my playmate in the sense 16:39 that we did a lot of riding together 16:41 and had a lot of fun on horses but and other things, 16:45 but the move from where she had grown up 16:50 was a tough move for her and we-- 16:54 And where was that she grew up 16:55 from where you moved before Utah? 16:58 Well, she was actually born in Arkansas. 17:01 But we moved to Utah 17:03 when she was just a year, year and a half. 17:05 So we were there 10 years, 17:07 she was 11 when we moved to Michigan. 17:11 And the setting wasn't the same, 17:14 didn't have all the horses that we'd have in. 17:17 And, you know, you are busy with church, 17:20 though family has always been an important 17:23 consideration for me. 17:27 The devil was able to come in and create some issues there, 17:31 some of them that we didn't know about until, 17:34 you know, things started surfacing. 17:36 And that's how we started looking for help. 17:41 What do we do? 17:42 Okay, I want to just kind of un-package that a little bit 17:46 because the surrounding one and a half years old, 17:49 moved to Utah, then from Utah at about 11 you go to Michigan. 17:53 Were you more in the city compared to Utah? 17:56 You compare to-- yeah, 17:59 it was not a large city, small town 18:02 and we did find a little farm house out in the country 18:06 and was able to bring one horse with us. 18:10 We had seven, eight of them in Utah, 18:13 but just the change of the environment, new church, 18:18 that's an age where young people 18:20 are beginning to find themselves, you know. 18:24 Taking their roots down. 18:25 And so to shift that, 18:28 the friends aren't there that they've known. 18:31 A lot of these different changes 18:33 and as pastors we get moved once in a while, 18:36 so you can't always just, 18:38 you know, I don't know what it is to grow up 18:41 in one community and live there all my life. 18:44 I've traveled quite a few different places, 18:48 but this was her first major move 18:50 or the first one that she remembers. 18:52 What was it like? 18:53 Let me ask you Hannah, 18:54 what was it like that transition, 18:57 I mean here you are kind of getting used to Utah 19:00 if I can use that phrase or that word getting used to. 19:04 Tell us in your experience. 19:06 What did you feel in the change of environment 19:09 in a different move? 19:10 It wasn't difficult 'cause I left 19:12 somewhat like my best friends 19:14 and as I was getting older in Utah, 19:17 like I got closer to my friends, 19:19 so it was harder leaving, 19:21 didn't know anybody in Michigan. 19:23 There weren't really people there 19:24 that were around my age, so it was lonely. 19:27 I just, I didn't really know where I've to end 19:30 and how to deal with being lonely and stuff so. 19:35 Donna, anything you want to add to that. 19:37 Because being the pastor's wife, 19:38 you are the home economics teacher, 19:40 you are the home schooler, you kind of so many hats 19:43 depending on what time of the day it is. 19:45 What was it like for you growing up 19:48 maybe in Utah and the transition 19:50 from your perspective? 19:53 Well, the transition to Michigan 19:55 was not too difficult for me, but I did realize that it was, 19:59 would be more difficult for Hannah. 20:04 I'm really glad that we didn't dialog more 20:07 to find out really where Hannah was coming from 20:09 and be able to talk about 20:11 some of the feelings that she had. 20:17 And I tended to perhaps get too busy into things, 20:22 even though we were home schooling. 20:24 I was involved in health ministry 20:27 and gone some of the time. 20:32 You know, it's easy for you to blame yourself though, 20:37 but when we began to run into difficulty. 20:46 It was just difficult to know where to turn. 20:50 Hannah, do you want to unpack some of these for us 20:52 because your dad being a pastor, 20:55 your mom, the home schooler, 20:57 your teacher, the lady that primarily 21:00 is influencing most of your environment. 21:04 You have two sisters that if I'm following carefully, 21:07 by then they were out of the house away at school. 21:10 Take us into your world to help us understand 21:13 where the disconnect came in? 21:16 For me growing up, I guess like bitterness 21:22 and anger I'd been kind of building up for a while. 21:26 My dad, he doesn't mean to, 21:28 but he has a very strong opinion 21:29 and it can come at cost harshly what I've been doing. 21:33 And so for me there is-- 21:35 I did not really speak up against it. 21:38 I didn't feel like I would be hurt, 21:41 so I kind of just stuffed it, 21:43 so then move on top of like the anger, 21:46 frustration building up like, I didn't really like to open up 21:51 or talk to very many people especially my parents, 21:54 because I didn't feel like I would be 21:56 listened to or heard very much. 21:58 So I kind of was more passive aggressive 22:01 and it came to a point where I just decided 22:03 I wanted to do my own thing and God-- 22:07 I kind of saw God as I did my dad 22:09 and so I was like I don't want any part of that, 22:11 I just want to do my own thing and so I started acting out 22:16 not necessarily being disrespectful to their to face 22:20 or I would do what they asked me to do at home 22:22 but in other ways like I would sneak out 22:24 or do like meet up with friends 22:28 that they didn't want me to be around, 22:29 there are things like that, so. 22:32 So I mean, let me put 22:34 the positive spin on this first. 22:36 So they didn't really know 22:38 because you were kind of maintaining at home, 22:40 just let me keep my-- let me keep my family gods up 22:44 so they won't feel that there's something going wrong, 22:47 but I can't wait to get out of here. 22:49 Yeah. 22:51 And let me ask, either one of you could respond to this. 22:54 When did you sense that? 22:56 When did you feel because, you know, 22:59 you're the spiritual leader of the family, 23:00 you're the pastor, you have the antenna going 23:04 and at least probably thinking that 23:07 you have it all figured out. 23:09 At what point it all set a dawn on you? 23:12 Mom or dad could respond on this that 23:14 there's something different about Hannah. 23:19 My wife is more intuitive to some of those feelings. 23:30 I was kind of raised in the idea that 23:32 you know, you have as you mentioned 23:34 back in '84 life was a little different. 23:38 You may have differences, 23:39 you just live with it and you get over it 23:42 and that type of thing in there. 23:43 We didn't have as many distractions 23:46 as there are today. 23:49 And so I was concerned, 23:51 I could sense that Hannah was struggling with some things 23:56 but to get her to open up 23:58 and talk about them was difficult 24:02 and so you know, I prayed about it, 24:05 I prayed for her, I prayed for wisdom. 24:09 But I didn't grow up in an environment 24:12 where we questioned much. 24:14 You know, this is the way life is. 24:16 Right. 24:18 And so I was not in tune to that level of questioning. 24:24 So my wife would probably be able to give you more of 24:29 when she started recognizing 24:31 and for me it had to be more obvious 24:34 when as she said would start sneaking out 24:38 when the issues came in, 24:42 when we got calls from the police 24:45 or they came to visit our house 24:48 because of different things that's-- 24:50 that's when I'm thinking, we've got a problem, 24:52 where did this come from? 24:54 I want to get there eventually but now mom tell me. 24:58 Let me call you Donna rather than mom, 25:00 that's what I can call you. 25:02 But tell me when did you start noticing? 25:06 You know, Hannah had always been rather quiet 25:11 and so I didn't. 25:16 You know, I maybe didn't pick up on it 25:18 as soon as I should have either. 25:22 Hannah had the opportunity to work at a horse barn. 25:26 And they are not too far from where we were 25:29 and there was an older guy there 25:34 that I did see there was some sparks between them 25:38 and I became very concerned about that. 25:41 It was not a good situation. And so... 25:47 That's when I really started to become concerned 25:52 and wondered at times when she would go out 25:56 and ride her horse just where she was 25:59 and there was just more of a-- 26:04 She began pulling back from us more and more. 26:08 Now, what age did you say you were around at the time. 26:10 Because I know following the chronological page here, 26:13 you're on 12 or so when the move happened to Michigan. 26:17 I was 12 when we moved 26:19 and so I was probably 13, almost 14. 26:24 Okay. 26:26 And let me ask you, 26:27 how did you-- because when you start-- 26:31 when you have to live two lives, 26:33 one to keep your parents in the dark 26:35 and the other one to keep yourself 26:37 going on the other page. 26:39 How did you feel, you know, 26:41 because you have to switch these personalities 26:43 when you're, yes mom, yes dad. 26:48 And you can't wait, you're like, 26:49 hmm, need to get out of here. 26:51 Help us to understand that because lot of times, 26:53 you know, people listening and watching 26:55 this program might say, 26:56 I wonder if I kids are going through that too, 26:58 I wonder if I my daughter or my son. 27:00 Help us understand some of the signs 27:02 because having been there and being recovered 27:06 from that as we gonna talk about in just a moment here. 27:09 Help us to kind of come to grips with that? 27:12 Maybe some of the identifying factors? 27:16 For me it was kind of easy too because I was naturally quiet. 27:19 Okay. 27:20 And my dad like he said, 27:23 he never really grew up in a family 27:25 that questioned very much. 27:26 So I knew I wasn't going to be questioned very much 27:29 and I was good at giving short brief answers 27:32 that were to the point and I didn't-- 27:36 I kept this wall up that 27:39 you can come this far and no further 27:41 and I guess I'm not really sure how to answer 27:46 that for different personalities 27:49 but like my mom said just watching like 27:52 people pull back more, I started pulling back more. 27:53 So I don't know what's that. 27:59 Okay, well, let's talk about this family worship thing 28:01 because being in a home 28:02 where your family worship and all, 28:04 did you noticed any reticence there or kind of? 28:08 You know, Hannah, one thing 28:11 that I've always tried to be careful 28:13 of is not to base my public perception on my family. 28:26 I mean, I'm the pastor 28:27 and they're already pastor's kids, 28:29 PK's have enough pressure already, 28:31 but I didn't want to add to that. 28:35 And I think we've to be very careful. 28:37 Sometimes parents try to live their lives in their kids. 28:41 And I didn't want that, 28:42 I knew there was some standards that God has set 28:46 and I wanted them to walk in that. 28:48 But I remember Hannah had made a commitment 28:53 to walk with Jesus early and it was a precious, 28:58 precious commitment. 29:01 Just warmed our hearts as would any parent 29:05 and as I saw some of this change, 29:08 you know, I just figured, 29:09 well, it's coming into making it her own 29:13 which was to a large part but to grow up in Christ 29:17 and we didn't have a lot of in our home 29:21 because of the environment of our home. 29:23 We didn't have a lot of the outlets 29:27 that many kids would have. 29:29 You know we didn't have television on 29:30 so it's not like we had to watch 29:32 what they were watching on TV. 29:34 We had one computer and that was in the house 29:38 in a public place 29:39 and so you didn't have to worry about that, 29:42 didn't believe in cell phones, so there were no cell phones 29:46 for the kids and mom and myself, 29:48 you know, to do that I mean-- 29:53 My wife is at home, 29:55 stay at home mom all our married life 29:58 and so rarely were the kids left alone. 30:02 Right. 30:04 And there wasn't a lot of activities, 30:06 oh, I'm going to run down and see so and so, 30:08 that as a protocol, you would tell us 30:10 where you are going, who you are seeing. 30:11 So there were a lot of those parameters 30:15 that would I thought would be helpful in protecting 30:19 from the experience that we went through. 30:22 And so it took a while for me to see 30:26 when because of the front that she had at home, 30:31 it wasn't until things really, 30:33 you know, the horse barn, 30:35 I was concerned, we'd talk about that, 30:37 I talked with the owner to set some parameters, 30:39 but, you know, at the horse barn to keep an eye out. 30:45 But it really didn't hit me the depth of what 30:49 she was going through until, 30:53 you know, my wife tells me one day, 30:55 I come home and she says, 30:56 you know, there is something strange going on. 30:59 Hannah is oiling the doors. 31:03 Well, we had some squeaky doors. 31:05 I think there is more than that 31:06 and I am not one that likes to be suspicious. 31:10 Right. 31:11 You know, the Bible says, 31:12 "Be sure your sins will find you out." 31:13 Wait until they are found out, 31:15 that type of thing before jumping to conclusions. 31:17 You don't want to become an investigator. 31:19 Right, so I tugged that away in my mind 31:21 and just watched and waited. 31:23 Well, you know, things developed 31:25 and I saw more than I wanted to see 31:29 began to take place. 31:32 It was a situation that 31:36 I realized that the Lord was not 31:39 that sweat presence to her at that point 31:43 and that concerned me for her sake. 31:46 Right. 31:48 But what can I do, I don't want to force that. 31:51 You can't force that. Right. 31:53 It was required we had family worship every morning. 31:56 And you know, she'd participate, 31:59 that wasn't an option, had to be there, 32:02 but I knew it wasn't touching her heart. 32:07 So how did that feel, Hannah? 32:08 I mean, here you are, 32:09 I smiled when you said oiling doors, 32:13 only because that becomes a part one of the, 32:18 ''why she oiling the door." 32:20 And we obviously know, 32:22 I mean, we've all been in that-- 32:25 I've never oiled the doors when I was growing up, 32:28 but to get the squeakiness out of it, 32:30 is that what I'm understanding, so? 32:34 That wouldn't be heard when you want to sneak out. 32:36 You mentioned something early about 32:37 police coming to the house. 32:40 Was that when the light really came on? 32:46 That's when I saw the fruit of the seed 32:52 that had been sown in her heart, 32:55 that bitterness come out. 32:57 I knew it was there, but I had nothing tangible. 33:01 But the horse, she loves horses, 33:06 she is a good horse rider. 33:09 Wow! You love it I hear that. 33:14 That was the one out that we were able to bring with us 33:17 from Utah, that connection and, 33:21 you know, we had asked her not to ride alone with this older, 33:26 he was actually 21, she was 14 and to be careful, 33:33 you know, there are typical things. 33:34 Any dad will be concerned. 33:35 But she want to trust as well as be cautious. 33:39 There's a fine balance there, 33:42 but I guess it came out when I came home one day 33:46 and my wife told me that police had been there 33:51 and had confronted Hannah and Michael was the guy's name. 34:01 And she had not been honest to the police. 34:04 Where is you parents? Where do you live? 34:06 You know, and they're not at home 34:08 and he escorted her to the house 34:10 and my wife was there and that was the first 34:15 of a number of acquaintances 34:18 we made with the police department. 34:20 Now, what I want to transition to now 34:22 because we wanted to get the Project Patch part of this. 34:25 It's obvious, as a family you gonna sit down 34:27 and to say have some conferences so to speak say. 34:30 Hannah, could you help me understand what's gonna on. 34:33 I mean, really mom and I are in the dark. 34:36 You've had-- would you say 34:37 you had one or many of those conferences? 34:42 You know, I don't remember how many. 34:45 You would probably remember those 34:47 better than we would Hannah. 34:49 Did you have those kind of sit down and talk, 34:52 well, let's talk. 34:54 I wouldn't really talk 34:56 and if I did I would usually lie about it 34:58 and keep it short and to the point, so. 35:02 At what point did you feel, 35:03 okay, we've done all that we can, 35:05 we need to get help. 35:06 And on that note, 35:08 how did you even find out about Project Patch? 35:17 There was a particular situation where... 35:22 Well, you know several police incidents 35:29 and really the police could not help us. 35:33 Right. 35:34 Too much in the situation 35:39 and so at one point our oldest daughter 35:42 mentioned to us about Project Patch. 35:45 Her husband had a sister who is helped 35:48 by going through Project Patch. 35:51 And, you know, you never want to think 35:52 that you need to send your kids 35:54 away to some place, you know it. 35:56 It just kind of-- I thought about it a little bit 36:00 but then as things continued to get out of hand, 36:05 I just, I went online and I read the whole website 36:09 and I just became excited to think that perhaps 36:13 there is a place that we could protect Hannah. 36:18 Yes, there was a situation 36:19 where as Hannah was being rebellious, 36:22 but she was also being manipulated big time. 36:25 And we just needed to place her some place 36:30 where she could be protected. 36:32 I really didn't think that 36:34 my husband would think that we needed to at that point. 36:39 But then another situation came where we were just both ready, 36:43 okay, you know, let's check into this. 36:47 Okay. 36:49 You say how may of those talks we had, 36:51 I think after that first time with the police. 36:56 Maybe I am wrong in this. 36:59 Hannah, you could correct it, but it seemed to me that okay, 37:04 my façade is blown, it's war. 37:07 Okay. 37:09 And I'm going to be respectful at home, 37:11 do my chores what not, 37:13 but I'm going to take advantage of any opportunity to get out. 37:18 And so at that point 37:20 and things unfolded over about a year, 37:23 maybe a year and a half, 37:25 but we decided to send, 37:30 let her go to boarding school, high school years 37:35 to one of our church schools. 37:38 The other kids we had home schooled through high school 37:41 and then they went off to college, 37:42 but even there the contacts with this fellow 37:46 we were hoping that would put some distance 37:48 and cut the contact but it didn't. 37:50 And so then when she'd come home on breaks, 37:53 there would be more sneaking out, more incidents, 37:56 and it just finally came to our head 37:58 where that wasn't working that the school wasn't a safe place. 38:04 And I felt we'd lost control 38:08 and didn't know what else to do. 38:09 So we started looking around, there were several places, 38:12 there is a place called Advent Home, 38:15 Miracle Meadows, 38:16 they have both closed their doors now 38:19 but then we heard of Project Patch 38:22 and as we just compared some of mine, 38:24 I thought this is our only option. 38:27 It's not an easy decision for parents to come to. 38:30 Right. 38:32 Especially if you are pastor and you're right, 38:36 that whole scenario the expectations 38:41 and but we called and the Lord opened the door. 38:46 We didn't even tell Hannah. 38:49 She came home for Christmas break, 38:51 and I said, well, you are not going back 38:53 to the school she was at. 38:56 Where are we going? 38:57 Well, we are looking 39:00 and then when the message came through that 39:02 she was accept would school out west. 39:05 I mean, we didn't even want to tell her 39:07 because the battle line was so drawn in our view 39:13 whether it was a correct view or not. 39:15 In our view we were afraid she'd run off 39:18 because she had been 39:20 saying things like that in her journal 39:23 and you know I am the one that likes 39:27 to keep a pulse on that kids are doing as a parents, 39:29 I think that's what parents if we didn't have email, 39:32 I mean we did have the computer and she had an email account 39:35 but it was a sub account of mine 39:37 and so I could check that. 39:39 But Facebook and all that other stuff. 39:41 Right, which is out of your room. 39:43 Still doesn't exist in our home. 39:47 So I thought I was watching pretty closely, 39:49 but then as I read the diary and seeing what's going on, 39:55 we knew we had to go somewhere. 39:57 They accepted it her to come in, 40:00 I think we told her 40:01 after we were several hours on the road, 40:04 where she was going and what the situation would be 40:06 because there is no getting out of the car 40:08 while you're traveling down the freeway. 40:10 I can't ask you quickly enough, Hannah, what was it like. 40:13 I mean, really you had to take yourself back to that moment. 40:15 Here you are, you're in a car, 40:16 you don't know where you're going 40:18 and they revealed, your parents revealed 40:21 to you where you're headed. 40:22 And you were driving from Michigan? 40:24 Michigan to Idaho. To Idaho? 40:26 What was it like for you? 40:28 I was just even though I didn't really want to go, 40:32 I was glad I wasn't going to be at home. 40:34 Okay. All right. 40:36 Because I just-- I needed to just be away. 40:40 I needed to be gone. 40:41 So even though it may not have been 40:44 where I wanted to go, it was somewhere away. 40:46 So maybe in some regards, in my mind 40:50 I was thinking I still won because I'm going away. 40:53 Okay. 40:54 Long as I'm around here so to speak. 40:58 Where you there when Hannah came? 40:59 No, I wasn't. 41:01 But what amazes me of her story is that 41:05 kids end up at our program 41:06 from all sorts of different homes, 41:08 pastor's homes, from kids from neglect, 41:10 kids from abuse, every single story is different. 41:14 But what it shares in common 41:15 is kids are getting to a point of frustration 41:18 that they don't care about their future 41:20 and they'll do future destroying, 41:22 future blowing up things. 41:24 And, you know, Hannah's story is different than a lot of them 41:26 but it's a same thing that Satan was smiling saying, 41:29 I've got this one. Right. 41:31 And parents that are desperate, 41:32 you know, the realities, they've tried stuff, 41:34 I mean in your story is parents that have bought property, 41:39 they made investments, time investments, 41:41 care investments, 41:42 they've done all the things that you should do. 41:46 And that powerlessness to say, 41:48 I'm doing the right things but it's not working. 41:51 You know, and Patch steps 41:53 in at that point that really parents get to the two things, 41:56 I can't keep my kid safe and there is no viable plan 41:59 for me to change that unless we do something bigger. 42:01 And that's when we step in and that's where, 42:04 you know, Hannah coming to us as this kid that, 42:08 this isn't what I want but it's better than 42:10 what I have at home. That's so normal. 42:13 But really resisting and being very angry at her parents 42:17 is one of the things we see constantly. 42:19 How long were you at Project Patch? 42:23 Almost 11 months. 42:24 Okay. 42:25 What was it like when you first got there, 42:27 I mean, okay, you're away from home, that was like, huh, 42:29 long as I'm not around mom and dad, 42:30 but you get there and then did program 42:33 kind of the introduction to it starts to be outlined to you 42:37 and what's your thoughts there? 42:39 I didn't think that I needed to there. 42:41 It was kind of a tent I guess 42:45 'cause when you first get there, you're on orientation 42:48 and you're watched like constantly 42:50 and you don't really have very many privileges or anything, 42:53 so it was frustrating to me 'cause I was used to like 43:00 being able to do what I want. 43:02 So I fought it probably for like 8 or 9 months 43:07 and then I started as like, 43:10 okay, ever thee, do needed be here, 43:12 I do have issues that I need to work through. 43:14 And I think when I stopped focusing on family issues 43:19 and focusing on my own issues 43:21 is really when it started working. 43:23 Hmm. 43:24 That's interesting to be at a program about 11 months 43:26 but 8 or 9 of those months you're thinking, 43:29 it's kind of like how can I get out of here? 43:30 How can I just maintain until my time is done. 43:32 I just need to get out of here, I don't belong here, 43:34 I don't-- This is not for me 43:36 and then all the sudden the light comes on one day, 43:38 I do have issues. 43:40 I think I need to work on these issues. 43:41 Tell me describing because the program 43:44 what I want to communicate here today is, 43:46 you know, this is not an usual journey 43:49 because most of the time when a person is, 43:51 wherever that person is put, 43:52 wherever that young person is put, 43:54 there's not this immediate, 43:55 oh, great, I'm glad to be at Project Patch 43:58 and I'm going to start working on my issues 44:00 from day one it's like, this is not gonna happen. 44:04 And you both are away now 44:05 because obviously for the program 44:07 to work most effectively. 44:09 Tell me about the contact that parents have 44:12 while the child is away? 44:13 So even from the start there is not much contact 44:16 and then solely there's parents visits, 44:18 there are some home leaves, 44:19 there are things that start to happen. 44:22 Kind of building up credit so to say. 44:24 Building up credits and part of that 44:26 is her experiences that kids come to us 44:29 and people expect really rapid turnarounds. 44:31 The reality is Patch can't change kids. 44:34 We have influence, we have caring adults. 44:37 The nice thing about Project Patch is we've a staff of 30, 44:39 so when you get into that situation 44:40 where kids is going through much the entire team 44:43 and pass off to another staff member. 44:45 So it's that's constant that they handle talks about. 44:48 It's an environment of watchful care. 44:50 But we can't change the kids. 44:52 But overtime being in the right environment, 44:53 giving them chances to observe themselves, 44:55 see at another kids have in that group environment... 44:57 Right. 44:58 Does with our prayers 45:01 and with God at working through all those things, 45:04 hopefully lead the kid. 45:05 But there is that pig, 45:06 that moment that the kid just find themselves 45:09 I'm in a trough with pigs, eating pig food. 45:13 Okay. 45:14 You know, the prodigal son came to an awakening 45:17 is really how we describe it 45:19 and part of what we're trying to do 45:20 is just wake up the kids. 45:22 You know, to say that a 20 some year old 45:23 hanging out with a 13 year old, 45:25 that's not normal, that's grooming. 45:27 And for the girl that's having that 45:30 it feels really flattering. 45:31 You know, this guy like me so the manipulation 45:33 but to break that falsehood takes time. 45:37 I mean, so that awakening moment 45:39 can happen all source time, sometimes it happens at Patch, 45:41 sometimes it doesn't. 45:43 But partnering with the parents and really with the kid to say, 45:46 you know, this isn't what God has in store for you. 45:50 Let me ask you a question, Hannah. 45:51 At what point did you start seeing that 45:53 this is actually helping me out? 45:56 Because we talk about the 8 or 9 45:57 month period of resistance. 45:59 Tell me about the turnaround period 46:01 when you started seeing the light come in your life 46:03 and start addressing some of the real issues that you had? 46:07 I think when I start letting God back into my life, 46:13 I had some talks with the chaplain there 46:17 and just different frustrations 46:19 and how I viewed God as controlling and manipulative 46:24 and so I didn't really want anything to do with them. 46:28 And so when I started realizing, 46:29 I can't do this on my own 46:34 and started letting Him help me or asking for His help. 46:37 I guess that's kind of where the turnaround started coming, 46:40 because I realized I could trust Him 46:42 like He would help me work through my issues 46:45 and I didn't have to face them alone. 46:48 And then now recovering your connection with your parents 46:51 because, okay, you are working on your own issues 46:54 but then where did that desire to 47:00 but that freedom to see your mom and dad again 47:02 come back in because you know, 47:03 you still have that bridge built? 47:08 I'm not exactly sure, 47:09 I mean definitely our relationship 47:12 was healing during the time I was at Patch 47:16 and so I would enjoy being with them more, 47:18 but I think it's-- hasn't really been 47:21 into probably two a year or so after that I left Patch 47:25 that I really started becoming stronger, 47:30 so it reached to the point where there was no relationship 47:33 between us before I went to Patch 47:35 and so I think it took more than just a year 47:38 of being there to help it build but that's what started it-- 47:42 That's a good thing. 47:44 Tell me about the return of my daughter, okay. 47:48 We were grateful. 47:50 Patch is usually a year program 47:52 but because of the schooling situation 47:55 we, when she would get out, 47:57 they let her out a month earlier 48:00 because she was-- had done so well. 48:04 But it was hard for us. 48:06 The first four weeks there, no contact even from parents 48:09 because we live so far, 48:11 we couldn't make all the family visits, 48:13 we were only out there once in that year to see her. 48:17 And then she came to a family reunion once 48:20 or just twice in that 11 months. 48:23 And we learned a lot too when we would go out there, 48:27 Patch works with the parents, understanding personalities 48:31 and how to get alone and you know, 48:34 it was very helpful and so we just have to-- 48:38 it was like walking on eggshells for a while. 48:41 And I think it felt that way on both sides, 48:44 I know for my wife and I but she began coming back 48:49 and started school in a private high school in Tennessee. 48:56 And so there was still some distance for her 48:59 and we would see, could call each other, 49:02 go down on vacations or she'd come up. 49:03 Rebuilding the trust. 49:04 Rebuilding. 49:06 And you know, I'm so grateful as she rebuild 49:09 that relationship with God as my wife and I learned. 49:13 I'm so proud of my girl today. 49:16 I wouldn't trade any of my kids for anyone else's 49:20 but I just, I'm really grateful 49:25 for what God has done 49:26 and I know we're still different people 49:29 and you know, we have our differences 49:31 of views and what not. 49:33 But there is an openness that hasn't been there for a while. 49:40 You know, hadn't been for several years. 49:42 And I just praise God for that. 49:44 Anything you want to add to that, Donna? 49:48 I think he said it well, 49:49 but it was just beautiful to watch. 49:53 Hannah began to change and I just, you know, 49:59 she could have just sat the program out 50:01 and not make those changes. 50:04 But to see her really take hold of it 50:07 and of course we were praying, I just, I want to give God, 50:11 the glory God the credit here. 50:17 Though we were not able to see her much, 50:18 I mean she was constantly in our prayers 50:20 and I just know that the Lord did that work in here. 50:24 John, I would like to say 50:25 and I know our time is about up. 50:27 We're so grateful, this opportunity 50:29 came at the age she is because Project Patch 50:32 doesn't take kids over 18. 50:33 Oh, wow! 50:35 Because they're free to go. 50:37 And if it hadn't been for this, who knows where Hannah 50:43 might have been today if it had been later on. 50:45 You know, I want to bring that out before 50:48 and we have a on the other side 50:49 of our newsbreak a little time there to emphasize this. 50:52 But just summarize the age groups 50:56 is up to 18 is when you take a person. 50:58 Correct. 50:59 After that point there? 51:00 And that's one of the saddest things 51:02 that we have is that parents, 51:05 their kids going through rebellion and they assume that, 51:07 oh, this is just the phase that will pass. 51:10 The cost right now of kids going 51:12 through phases is expensive, 51:15 as in the access that they have to self harm 51:17 the access they have the chemicals, 51:19 the types of relationships that kids are being 51:20 drawn into the pornography, the cost is high right now 51:25 and their kid might not come back. 51:27 And so we're looking at kids, 51:29 you know, age 12 through turning 18 51:32 and pray for those kids that are past that, 51:34 just because the resources are slim. 51:37 You know, people that are listening 51:38 to the program might say, 51:39 well, wow, I maybe need to look into a program like this 51:42 and I want to let you get the information 51:45 that you need 'cause there's only so much we can cover today 51:47 but here's the information that you need 51:49 to get in touch with Project Patch or Chuck 51:53 and find out how God can enhance 51:55 and strengthen your family 51:57 as it has blessed the Bullock family 51:59 through this program. 52:01 Project Patch is passionately committed 52:04 to restoring troubled youth and building stronger families. 52:08 If you know someone who may benefit from this ministry, 52:10 or if you like to support them, 52:12 then you can write to Project Patch, 52:14 2404 East Mill Plain Blvd, Suite A, 52:18 Vancouver, Washington 98661. 52:21 That's Project Patch, 2404 East Mill Plain Blvd, Suite A, 52:26 Vancouver, Washington 98661. 52:29 You can call 360-690-8495. 52:34 That's 360-690-8495. 52:38 You can visit them online at projectpatch.org. 52:42 That's projectpatch.org. |
Revised 2015-01-29