Participants: Jon Paulien & Jon Ciccarelli
Series Code: TBOTB
Program Code: TBOTB000007B
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00:01 Welcome back to Books of the Book and Doctor Pauline
00:04 let's get right back into our study again. 00:06 Well I just want to mention to those who are viewing, 00:09 Paul is opening up some issues of sexuality and we are 00:13 going to be very practical and follow-through on some 00:16 adult type of issues here in the next 10 to 12 minutes. 00:20 So if there are small children with you, you may wish to 00:23 act accordingly as a parent. 00:26 But we will speak about some things that were close to the 00:29 heart of Paul and I think issues that Christians 00:32 need to consider today. 00:33 You may ask question why would any Christian get involved 00:39 in illicit sexuality, and I think part of it goes back 00:45 to our own creation. 00:46 God has created us with a sense of attraction to the 00:50 opposite sex, now that it's not the same for everyone. 00:53 There are people that have relatively little attraction 00:56 on the one hand, there are others for whom the attraction 00:59 goes very, very deep and they can almost sense when 01:01 somebody walks into the room behind their back. 01:04 There is a spectrum of attraction, but attraction is 01:09 God given, attraction is normal, and attraction in and 01:14 of itself is not sin. 01:15 To notice that God has created beauty or notice 01:20 that someone is attractive in various ways, 01:24 that in itself is not a sin. 01:26 But every so often you come in contact with someone 01:29 where there is a heightened sense of attraction. 01:33 For the chemicals are right, some people call it love at 01:36 first sight, that can happen to someone who is married 01:39 with someone else. 01:41 It is at times like that, that is the crucial issue, that 01:44 is where the Christian faces what we call temptation. 01:48 At that point there is a fork in the road and the world 01:51 will tell you, Hollywood would tell you, go for it. 01:56 The Bible is telling you no, this is the place to close 02:00 the door, this is a place to make a fence. 02:02 But there are some risk takers among us as Christians. 02:06 And there is some who that go down that path. 02:08 It goes something like this. 02:11 It moves from attraction, from temptation, to fantasy 02:16 where a person begins to play in their mind fantasies 02:22 with that other person. 02:23 Over time it can be totally private, yet what it is 02:27 doing is stealing a piece of yourself that should 02:31 be given to your spouse. 02:33 Fantasy is never helpful and it is where sin begins, 02:37 often then it goes into what we might call, flirtation. 02:41 That is where you say some things that have double 02:44 meanings, the kind of thing where, hey that was 02:47 a naughty statement, no, no I didn't mean it that way. 02:49 You are testing to see whether that person is as 02:52 interested as you are. 02:53 In a ministry context people may look for excuses to 02:57 work together, they may walk down the hall to see if 03:01 the other person is in and how they look today. 03:03 So it all seems so innocent, yet it is going down a path 03:07 and at some point you are working together and things 03:12 reach a point where it becomes physical, where you begin 03:16 to act out on the feelings and the reality is when that 03:20 happens, two people and more are deeply wounded. 03:26 There is a Pastor that wrote a note to self, that he would 03:29 read to himself when ever he was at that fork, when ever 03:33 he discovered this heightened sense of attraction. 03:36 He read this statement to himself, a very wise man. 05:09 A pretty smart man Jon I think because it is just too 05:12 dangerous a road, in verse six I think Paul uses 05:16 an interesting Greek word that I think is relevant to this. 05:20 Yes let me read 1 Thessalonians 4:6-8: 05:49 It is an interesting word Paul uses, let's not defraud 05:54 our brother, because what happens is when we exercise 05:58 sexuality outside of the bonds of God's design, both 06:03 parties are deeply wounded as that statement indicated. 06:08 You are not only hurting another Christian, you are also 06:12 hurting your future spouse or current spouse, if they 06:15 happen to be married, so there is multiple damage that happens. 06:18 Children can be affected by the actions of their parents. 06:22 And I want to say, if you are listening to this and 06:25 realize that you have gone over that line, 06:29 perhaps several times, you have gone all the way and 06:32 reaped all these consequences that we read about, 06:35 I want you to know that it is not too late, 06:37 God is calling you right now. 06:38 You can make it right, you can do restitution where 06:42 restitution is needed. 06:44 It is going to be a long road, you will probably 06:46 need counseling, pastoral support, community 06:49 and all kinds of things. 06:50 The damage cannot be totally undone. 06:53 To those of you who haven't walked down that road, 06:56 let this message today be a warning right 07:00 from the apostle Paul. 07:02 Don't defraud one another, and you know what else Jon? 07:06 You are not only defrauding other people when you do that, 07:09 you are also hurting Jesus Christ. 07:12 Because these are all souls for whom He died and any 07:16 thing done to wound a brother or sister, 07:18 also wounds the heart of Christ. 07:21 Not to mention the wounds to your own heart as God's beloved. 07:26 I remember a handy man who was working at my house one day, 07:31 and he said to me as I told him, I was just writing about 07:35 this at the time. 08:03 So you are not only damaging somebody now, but your future 08:07 spouse, future relationships are affected by the baggage 08:10 that you bring from these kinds of relationships. 08:14 Now sexuality, according to God's design, 08:16 is a beautiful thing. - yeah, yeah! 08:19 But when outside of the bounds, it can cause 08:23 a great deal of damage. 08:25 Yeah, I always tell people that I have been in therapy for 08:29 25 years because my wife is an Marriage Family Therapist 08:33 and we have been married now for almost 25 years. 08:36 We do several marriage retreats a year for couples. 08:40 We are always in process with couples and when it comes 08:44 to love and sex, unfortunately, I really like the 08:47 process you brought out earlier showing that if 08:51 you are not careful where it can go. 08:52 But when we go that way, the way that Paul is warning us 08:56 about, it is so focused on ourselves, it is so focused on 08:59 self and me getting, what am I getting out of it? 09:02 The pleasure or whatever it can be for me, and yet true 09:05 love, as we have seen in Paul's life, and ultimately in 09:08 Christ's life, is about serving someone. 09:11 So when I look at someone and I think about how am I 09:14 serving this person in Christ's name, how am I serving? 09:17 Jesus said I am the One among you as the One who serves. 09:21 And so in a marriage that holy love is being set apart 09:25 to love one another and we do that by serving one another. 09:29 So as I look at loving my wife, how do I serve her? 09:33 When you talk about sexuality, and sexual relationships, 09:37 it is not about me, it is about loving that person. 09:39 - and so it is always giving. 09:43 You may call this holy sex, if you will but being set apart to 09:46 love my wife like Christ loves the church. That is huge! 09:49 It's used as an analogy. - Exactly. - For spirituality. 09:52 And Christ is the One, we look at how He served and He loved 09:55 the church so much, He loves people so much that He came 09:58 and He died, He came to serve and not be served. 10:01 So I think this holiness, in the context of sexuality too, 10:05 is how can I love this person like Christ loves the church 10:10 and serve, always seeking to edify, to be a vessel in their 10:15 life that God would develop them to be everything 10:18 He dreams for them to be. 10:19 Not what can I get out of this? How does this work with me? 10:23 - Beautiful! But helping them in that way. 10:27 Sexuality according to God's design is a lifelong 10:30 relationship with somebody in which you build in 10:33 some in some of those values. 10:34 But what would you say to a teenager who is saying look 10:37 I'm going to marry this girl, so why don't we just try it 10:40 out and see how it's going? What would you say to them? 10:43 No! - Why not? - Just don't do it, you know. 10:46 There are several reasons, first of all the obvious is 10:49 just the danger of disease. 10:51 I mean it is so rampant out there, and unfortunately 10:54 there are married couples out there, because of 10:57 unfaithfulness that are having to deal with disease 10:59 that was never in the relationship to begin with. 11:01 So that is one reason for sure I would say. 11:03 Another thing I would mention, is a relationship that 11:08 lasts a lifetime can't be based on sex. 11:10 People get bored with sex, that is why pornography exists. 11:13 It's because people are bored with it and they want to 11:16 do something radical, something different. 11:17 The reality is the relationship that will last an eternity 11:20 is grounded on mental, emotional, spiritual bonds. 11:25 When a young couple gets into the physical, they stop 11:29 building the infrastructure of the relationship. 11:31 They stop building, they stop talking about their likes 11:34 and dislikes, about their emotions, about their spiritual 11:37 life, all they start doing is go find some hiding place 11:40 where they can do the physical stuff. 11:42 The physical side-tracks, the building of relationship 11:45 in young people that even before marriage, sexuality 11:49 I think is best left aside. 11:52 Even if you marry that person, they may never be able 11:56 to trust that you won't do it with somebody else, 12:00 because you did it with me. - yeah a lack of trust. 12:03 I wish we could say more but we have a couple more 12:06 verses Jon, would you read verses 9 to 12, 12:08 and we need to draw this to a close. 12:09 Sure would be happy to do that. 12:12 Paul goes on and he says: 12:44 One of the best witnesses a church can have is people 12:47 who are hard working, industrious, who take care of 12:51 their own business and even have a little 12:53 left over to help. 12:54 You know this is has been rich and I love how Paul is 12:59 always so, so practical. 13:01 I just want to encourage our viewers, especially in the 13:04 area of sexuality, we don't want to look at the problem, 13:08 we want to look at Christ, keep looking at Christ. 13:11 Turn your eyes on Him, focus on Him and He will lead you 13:15 and guide you and grow you in holiness in 13:18 His love relationship with you. 13:19 Take care, and God bless! |
Revised 2023-01-25