Welcome back to Books of
the Book and Doctor Pauline
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let's get right back
into our study again.
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Well I just want to mention
to those who are viewing,
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Paul is opening up some
issues of sexuality and we are
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going to be very practical
and follow-through on some
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adult type of issues here
in the next 10 to 12 minutes.
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So if there are small children
with you, you may wish to
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act accordingly as a parent.
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But we will speak about some
things that were close to the
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heart of Paul and I
think issues that Christians
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need to consider today.
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You may ask question why
would any Christian get involved
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in illicit sexuality, and
I think part of it goes back
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to our own creation.
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God has created us with a
sense of attraction to the
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opposite sex, now that
it's not the same for everyone.
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There are people that have
relatively little attraction
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on the one hand, there are
others for whom the attraction
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goes very, very deep and
they can almost sense when
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somebody walks into
the room behind their back.
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There is a spectrum of
attraction, but attraction is
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God given, attraction is
normal, and attraction in and
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of itself is not sin.
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To notice that God has
created beauty or notice
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that someone is
attractive in various ways,
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that in itself is not a sin.
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But every so often you
come in contact with someone
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where there is a
heightened sense of attraction.
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For the chemicals are right,
some people call it love at
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first sight, that can
happen to someone who is married
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with someone else.
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It is at times like that,
that is the crucial issue, that
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is where the Christian
faces what we call temptation.
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At that point there is a
fork in the road and the world
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will tell you, Hollywood
would tell you, go for it.
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The Bible is telling you
no, this is the place to close
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the door, this is a
place to make a fence.
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But there are some risk
takers among us as Christians.
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And there is some who
that go down that path.
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It goes something like this.
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It moves from attraction,
from temptation, to fantasy
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where a person begins to
play in their mind fantasies
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with that other person.
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Over time it can be
totally private, yet what it is
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doing is stealing a
piece of yourself that should
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be given to your spouse.
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Fantasy is never helpful
and it is where sin begins,
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often then it goes into
what we might call, flirtation.
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That is where you say
some things that have double
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meanings, the kind of
thing where, hey that was
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a naughty statement, no,
no I didn't mean it that way.
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You are testing to see
whether that person is as
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interested as you are.
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In a ministry context
people may look for excuses to
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work together, they may
walk down the hall to see if
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the other person is in
and how they look today.
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So it all seems so innocent,
yet it is going down a path
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and at some point you are
working together and things
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reach a point where it becomes
physical, where you begin
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to act out on the feelings
and the reality is when that
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happens, two people and
more are deeply wounded.
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There is a Pastor that wrote
a note to self, that he would
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read to himself when ever
he was at that fork, when ever
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he discovered this
heightened sense of attraction.
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He read this statement
to himself, a very wise man.
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A pretty smart man Jon I
think because it is just too
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dangerous a road, in
verse six I think Paul uses
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an interesting Greek word that
I think is relevant to this.
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Yes let me read 1
Thessalonians 4:6-8:
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It is an interesting word
Paul uses, let's not defraud
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our brother, because what
happens is when we exercise
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sexuality outside of the
bonds of God's design, both
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parties are deeply wounded
as that statement indicated.
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You are not only hurting
another Christian, you are also
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hurting your future spouse
or current spouse, if they
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happen to be married, so there
is multiple damage that happens.
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Children can be affected by
the actions of their parents.
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And I want to say, if
you are listening to this and
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realize that you
have gone over that line,
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perhaps several times,
you have gone all the way and
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reaped all these
consequences that we read about,
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I want you to know
that it is not too late,
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God is calling you right now.
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You can make it right,
you can do restitution where
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restitution is needed.
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It is going to be a
long road, you will probably
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need counseling,
pastoral support, community
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and all kinds of things.
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The damage cannot
be totally undone.
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To those of you who
haven't walked down that road,
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let this message
today be a warning right
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from the apostle Paul.
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Don't defraud one another,
and you know what else Jon?
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You are not only defrauding
other people when you do that,
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you are also
hurting Jesus Christ.
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Because these are all
souls for whom He died and any
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thing done to wound
a brother or sister,
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also wounds the heart of Christ.
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Not to mention the wounds to
your own heart as God's beloved.
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I remember a handy man who
was working at my house one day,
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and he said to me as I told
him, I was just writing about
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this at the time.
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So you are not only damaging
somebody now, but your future
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spouse, future relationships
are affected by the baggage
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that you bring from
these kinds of relationships.
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Now sexuality,
according to God's design,
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is a beautiful
thing. - yeah, yeah!
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But when outside of
the bounds, it can cause
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a great deal of damage.
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Yeah, I always tell people
that I have been in therapy for
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25 years because my wife is
an Marriage Family Therapist
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and we have been
married now for almost 25 years.
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We do several marriage
retreats a year for couples.
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We are always in process
with couples and when it comes
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to love and sex,
unfortunately, I really like the
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process you brought
out earlier showing that if
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you are not
careful where it can go.
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But when we go that way,
the way that Paul is warning us
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about, it is so focused on
ourselves, it is so focused on
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self and me getting,
what am I getting out of it?
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The pleasure or whatever
it can be for me, and yet true
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love, as we have seen in
Paul's life, and ultimately in
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Christ's life, is
about serving someone.
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So when I look at someone
and I think about how am I
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serving this person in
Christ's name, how am I serving?
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Jesus said I am the One
among you as the One who serves.
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And so in a marriage that
holy love is being set apart
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to love one another and we
do that by serving one another.
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So as I look at loving
my wife, how do I serve her?
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When you talk about sexuality,
and sexual relationships,
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it is not about me, it
is about loving that person.
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- and so it is always giving.
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You may call this holy sex, if
you will but being set apart to
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love my wife like Christ
loves the church. That is huge!
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It's used as an analogy. -
Exactly. - For spirituality.
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And Christ is the One, we look
at how He served and He loved
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the church so much, He loves
people so much that He came
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and He died, He came to
serve and not be served.
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So I think this holiness, in
the context of sexuality too,
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is how can I love this person
like Christ loves the church
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and serve, always seeking to
edify, to be a vessel in their
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life that God would
develop them to be everything
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He dreams for them to be.
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Not what can I get out of this?
How does this work with me?
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- Beautiful! But
helping them in that way.
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Sexuality according to
God's design is a lifelong
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relationship with
somebody in which you build in
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some in some of those values.
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But what would you say to
a teenager who is saying look
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I'm going to marry this girl,
so why don't we just try it
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out and see how it's going?
What would you say to them?
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No! - Why not? - Just
don't do it, you know.
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There are several reasons,
first of all the obvious is
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just the danger of disease.
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I mean it is so rampant
out there, and unfortunately
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there are married
couples out there, because of
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unfaithfulness that are
having to deal with disease
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that was never in the
relationship to begin with.
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So that is one
reason for sure I would say.
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Another thing I would
mention, is a relationship that
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lasts a lifetime
can't be based on sex.
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People get bored with sex,
that is why pornography exists.
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It's because people are
bored with it and they want to
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do something
radical, something different.
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The reality is the relationship
that will last an eternity
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is grounded on mental,
emotional, spiritual bonds.
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When a young couple gets
into the physical, they stop
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building the infrastructure
of the relationship.
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They stop building, they
stop talking about their likes
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and dislikes, about their
emotions, about their spiritual
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life, all they start doing
is go find some hiding place
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where they can do
the physical stuff.
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The physical side-tracks,
the building of relationship
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in young people that even
before marriage, sexuality
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I think is best left aside.
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Even if you marry that
person, they may never be able
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to trust that you won't
do it with somebody else,
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because you did it with
me. - yeah a lack of trust.
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I wish we could say more
but we have a couple more
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verses Jon, would
you read verses 9 to 12,
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and we need to
draw this to a close.
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Sure would be happy to do that.
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Paul goes on and he says:
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One of the best witnesses
a church can have is people
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who are hard working,
industrious, who take care of
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their own business
and even have a little
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left over to help.
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You know this is has been
rich and I love how Paul is
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always so, so practical.
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I just want to encourage
our viewers, especially in the
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area of sexuality, we don't
want to look at the problem,
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we want to look at
Christ, keep looking at Christ.
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Turn your eyes on Him, focus
on Him and He will lead you
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and guide you and
grow you in holiness in
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His love relationship with you.
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Take care, and God bless!
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