Welcome to Thinking About Home,
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I am Kathy
Matthews and I thank you for
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being with us
again. Today, our guest is
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Richard O'Ffill from
the Florida Conference
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of Seventh-day
Adventists and we're going
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to go over some of
his life story again
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today for those
who've missed some of it.
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And I know that Dick
is gonna have the end
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of the story today, aren't you?
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Well, we've come to the,
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you know some people say,
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well stay with me
till the bitter end.
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Now, this is the,
this is the sweetest,
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sweetest.
Sweetest good we're glad to
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hear that. And you
know Kathy I, I think
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you and I when we
began this series and,
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and if, if we gave
it a, the whole series a
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name it would
probably be Lord Keep Your
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Mansions, Just
Save our Children,
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Just Save our
Children. And we, we were
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young and how old
were you and you said,
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you have got. Oh! I
don't even like to tell
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that. Well, I was,
well I was 17 and lot of
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people get at
married 17, but I wouldn't
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advise it. Oh! No,
don't apologize I mean
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it will make tell
Tom sad. Oh! I don't know
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anything. Well, oh!
No he feels the same way.
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Well, well you know,
you would have it any
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other way, come
on. We both had to have
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our papers signed, we didn't,
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we had to have
parents come and sign for us.
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And sign for you
anyway you've been.
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He was on his
way to Vietnam okay.
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But he couldn't get
married without being
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signed. Well, anyway
Betty and I were young,
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I was 19 and I
won't tell you how old she
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was because she's a
year older than I am,
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oh don't tell. She
gets mad when I tell.
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Anyway you know,
you don't know when you
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start your life
and maybe it's good,
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it's maybe it's good
you know as life goes
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on and, and things
began to really happen
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maybe, if we didn't
know we wouldn't have
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been able to bear it
and I thought to myself,
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wow! Isn't it
wonderful that we don't know
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what the future
holds? Yes, it is wonderful.
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That God mercifully you know,
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I personally say,
well I just, you know I'd,
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I'd like to know.
He knows best though.
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No, no, no, is that.
You know, what I said
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that there's a text
in scripture that if,
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if we practiced it, it
wouldn't be so difficult,
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what about that
one word it says,
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sufficient for the
day as the evil of,
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evil there, there is
evil of. And you know,
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that sounds
rather negative you know,
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but in plain language
it, it means live one day
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to time, that time
yes. And I've thought to
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myself Kathy that
very few of us do that.
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Yeah, that, you're
right, though God is all
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powerful, He is Omnipotent,
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though there's you
know the grace is in
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heaven you know, there
is any amount of grace.
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More grace than there
is. But I tell people,
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I say there isn't enough grace.
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What do you mean?
In heaven for a person
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who is trying to live yesterday,
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today and
tomorrow, but that there's,
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there's nothing that
can happen to us today,
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that He will give us
strength to get through
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it see. For today.
And, and, and for today
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and so, and so
mercifully I don't know
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what tomorrow
holds now I, I know what
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yesterday was
about and, and in a way
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today is built on
some yesterdays and,
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and I think that
that this is where we've
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got to be, to be
stood because today is
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the product of
yesterdays, I have to pull
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out of yesterday that which is.
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For tomorrow.
Well, no pull out of,
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payment for
today. Not that either.
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I've got to pull out
from the past that which
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does not give me affirm today.
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You know where I'm coming from?
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Alright. So,
because you remember,
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we've got to look
back without going
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backwards, so I
don't want to perpetuate
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my mistakes. By
the way, in one of our
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programs we talked
about, about our parents
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and how, how this
of the culture of these
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days wants to blame everything.
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Yeah, on our
parents, you know as I get
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older I find
myself getting to be
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more-and-more like
my dad. I do, I, have
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you noticed. Yes,
yes, even, even the,
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in the way I look.
Even the looked expressions.
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Yes. And sometimes I
see myself and I say,
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oh! That looks just
like dad, now I, I think
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the point of this is,
is that using computer
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language, is that we
default to our parents.
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Now default in
computer language means it's
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gonna be that
way unless you open
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preferences and
click other buttons,
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in other words
we're going to probably be
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like our parents
unless we decide we're not
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going to be, and so
now. I'm sure you're
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talking about now in
the character or choices.
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Just character
well, in other words these
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peoples were our
models. Now, now this
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doesn't mean that
I have to denounce my
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daddy and say,
well you know I, I hate
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my dad and you
know, but it does mean
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that I, I look at my
parents and, and I have
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to decide which of
their characteristics I
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don't wanna
perpetuate. Well, yes okay
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that's where I was
going. Well, I should have
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waited for you to
get there. No, no, I just
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can't say it as well as you do.
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So, so anyway we,
we're gonna default to
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our parents unless
we decide that there's
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gonna be another
way and, and, and I
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think of, of so many
good things, you know
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about my dad, I
wanna be like my dad in
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so many ways, but
then there is probably
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other ways that I
wanna you know move on
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down the line, but
loving him in every step
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of the way. By the
way, I'm reminded of
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a story speaking of
being like our parents,
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you see unless we
can kind of even detach,
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remember we talk
about detachment. Yes.
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You see, we've got to
kind of be free standing
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and, and, asking the
Lord. And, and if we're
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going to look at our
parents with bitterness
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and resentment,
we're gonna you know,
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I personally. I
beholding. We're gonna be just
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like them, yes, and
that's what I'm leading
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up to, because I
heard a story about young
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man and, and his father was a,
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excuse expression,
kind of a no good alcoholic,
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and this young man
was a Christian and as
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time went by, his
friends said to him you know,
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you're getting to be
more, more like your dad.
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Well that's the
opposite that he wanted to
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be, but because he
was hung up on his dad
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he was becoming more
-and-more like his dad.
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And so, this is why
in, in the Christian life
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you know this text:
Live one day at a time,
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but the other text:
Forgive us our debts,
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as we forgive our
debtors. In other words,
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if I'm gonna be able
to be free standing today
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I've got to just
live today, learning from
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yesterday, forgiving
those in the past who
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wronged me from
yesterday because like
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you said, what I
look at is what I hear,
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so if I'm hung up on
the way my father and
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mother treated me I'm,
I'll just be like them.
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Now, I maybe with
another, another color,
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it maybe with
another, but it will be
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intrinsically all
about that. I think I've done
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another way since I
like to study something
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about the brain and
pathways and, and our
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thought patterns
that if we think about it,
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if we're dwelling
on that then the deeper
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the thought
pattern becomes the more
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difficult that is to
get away from that thought.
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Well, anyway in
this series and, and you
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remember I
explained to you that and not
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trying to be irreverent
that day that I prayed
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Lord Keep Your
Mansions, what I was
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really saying, Lord
I've got to understand
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in my life that the
most important thing to
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me, is, is my, is my
family and is my children.
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Did you ever hear
that that crazy story about
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this man who would
spend all his life trying
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to get rich? Can you
sit still for this one a
00:08:03.88\00:08:07.26
little bit? Yes, I
could. And 'cause I know
00:08:07.27\00:08:09.19
you'll get very
excited one that,
00:08:09.20\00:08:11.79
anyway all his life
he's trying to get rich and
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he was successful.
And so, down toward
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the end of the line
he, he converts it all
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to gold, so he's got
this big, big suitcase
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for the gold, and
remembers Jesus told the
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story about the
rich man Lazarus,
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so this a little bit
like that. So, he gets all
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his gold that he saved
all his life and he dies.
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And so, there he
is trying to get into
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heaven say and he's
got this suitcase full
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of gold. Yes, I've
heard this. And so,
00:08:36.98\00:08:39.43
Saint Peters there
to meet him and said,
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I'm sorry, you can't
bring anything in here
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you just got to
come in. The man says,
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you got thing, are
you? I got to be able
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to bring this all my
life, all my life I've,
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you know I've,
I've saved you know,
00:08:52.41\00:08:53.87
to get this gold
together and, and I just
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wouldn't be happy
in heaven without it.
00:08:56.64\00:08:57.95
And so, he puts on
such a scene that Peter
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says, I'll check
and see what I can do?
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You know, this is just a story.
00:09:03.76\00:09:04.73
Of course it's a
story and, but got a little
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lesson to it. And
so, Peter goes back and,
00:09:07.13\00:09:10.11
and he goes to one
of the big commanding
00:09:10.12\00:09:11.48
angels and he
says, there's a guy out,
00:09:11.49\00:09:13.69
out there at the
gate, and he wants to come
00:09:13.91\00:09:15.38
in and he wants to
bring something with him.
00:09:15.39\00:09:17.19
Angel said, what's
he got? And Peter says,
00:09:17.97\00:09:20.84
pavement. Yes. Pavement and,
00:09:20.85\00:09:24.81
and you know I think
the lesson is that that
00:09:24.82\00:09:27.02
really so much that
we do in life is just
00:09:27.03\00:09:31.14
pavement, that we
get our money, and we
00:09:31.15\00:09:34.05
get our power. We
haven't really gotten
00:09:34.06\00:09:35.98
our priorities
straight in heaven.
00:09:35.99\00:09:37.19
We haven't and,
and that really when I
00:09:37.20\00:09:38.66
pray Keep Your
Mansions what I'm,
00:09:38.67\00:09:42.23
I'm prioritizing,
I'm saying, Lord the most
00:09:42.44\00:09:45.48
important thing to
me when I think of going
00:09:45.49\00:09:47.06
to heaven is that you
would save my children.
00:09:47.07\00:09:50.88
And, and of course
this comes because in
00:09:52.19\00:09:55.04
so many of our
homes and probably the
00:09:55.05\00:09:56.79
majority of our
homes we have a prodigal
00:09:56.80\00:09:59.94
and I know what
that's like even worse than
00:10:00.99\00:10:04.50
that is not just
a prodigal I have an
00:10:04.51\00:10:06.26
alcoholic boy, I had,
I had an alcoholic boy.
00:10:06.27\00:10:09.79
Praise the Lord
for that. And, and then
00:10:09.80\00:10:12.46
I had this, this I
have this phenomena of,
00:10:12.47\00:10:15.85
of divorce, my
children getting a divorce and,
00:10:16.38\00:10:18.81
and I'll tell you,
you know anybody who says,
00:10:19.29\00:10:22.08
well you know God
wants me to be happy
00:10:22.09\00:10:24.57
and I'm gonna start
my new life you know
00:10:24.58\00:10:25.97
this could be
the husband and wife,
00:10:25.98\00:10:27.12
I'm gonna start my
new life and God wants
00:10:27.13\00:10:28.65
me to be happy,
guess who never gets to
00:10:28.66\00:10:30.39
start their lives
again, the kids. Yes.
00:10:30.40\00:10:32.64
To me, to me
Kathy, divorce is so sad
00:10:33.24\00:10:36.52
because of what
it does to children.
00:10:36.89\00:10:38.66
And, and if we
could just be sensitive to
00:10:39.54\00:10:41.32
that, I think we
would try to hit it off,
00:10:41.33\00:10:44.24
we would try to
hit it off because,
00:10:44.25\00:10:45.61
more selfless. Oh!
We've got to, we've got,
00:10:45.98\00:10:48.11
but, but, but
back in the old days,
00:10:48.12\00:10:50.51
listen to me,
back in the old days,
00:10:50.86\00:10:52.82
we thought of our,
of our families maybe
00:10:52.83\00:10:55.20
first, we made
scarifies, and these days
00:10:55.21\00:10:58.44
you know, they're even teaching,
00:10:58.45\00:10:59.42
they're teaching
women oh! You got look
00:10:59.78\00:11:01.22
out yourself and
you know, pregnancy is
00:11:01.23\00:11:03.59
maybe a disease and
you don't want to have
00:11:03.60\00:11:05.49
kids. Did I ever tell
you that story of when
00:11:05.50\00:11:08.95
I was overseas, some
place in Africa I think
00:11:08.96\00:11:11.14
there was a mission
family and, and the wife
00:11:11.38\00:11:15.77
was telling me, and
they had several children
00:11:15.78\00:11:17.62
and the wife is
telling me that her sister had
00:11:18.83\00:11:20.90
just gotten married
you know sometime before
00:11:20.91\00:11:23.68
they'd come overseas.
Oh! Yes, remember that
00:11:23.69\00:11:25.27
story, yes, yes,
yes. And so, you know she
00:11:25.28\00:11:27.53
was friendly with her
sister, it's the wedding
00:11:27.54\00:11:29.44
and so, she walks up
to her sister and she
00:11:29.45\00:11:31.08
said, I'm making
up this name Judy.
00:11:31.09\00:11:32.61
How many kids are
you and John gonna have?
00:11:33.64\00:11:35.24
And, and she said.
Yeah, I was surprised
00:11:35.25\00:11:37.83
with the answer.
And she says, oh! John
00:11:37.84\00:11:40.04
and I not gonna
reproduce ourselves,
00:11:40.05\00:11:42.71
and but that's
alright, you know,
00:11:43.95\00:11:45.48
well having a family
is expensive you know,
00:11:46.02\00:11:48.25
I can't afford the
education or I can't
00:11:48.85\00:11:50.58
afford Mercedes -Benz you know,
00:11:50.59\00:11:52.01
which soon or later
ends up in the dump.
00:11:52.02\00:11:54.32
Right, right, now
really you know soon or
00:11:54.47\00:11:55.76
later and so, so why
is it that that a house
00:11:55.77\00:12:00.69
you know a quarter of
a million dollar house
00:12:00.89\00:12:02.08
is a good buy. But
to spend a lot of money
00:12:02.09\00:12:04.90
on an education which
is for eternity is a rip
00:12:04.91\00:12:08.00
off. Yeah. And so,
how can we privatize
00:12:08.01\00:12:11.98
ourselves? So, that
you know they go ahead.
00:12:11.99\00:12:14.67
I like the answer
that the African woman
00:12:14.68\00:12:16.70
gave though there
was another woman in
00:12:16.71\00:12:19.60
that story, you
remember? No. Well,
00:12:19.61\00:12:23.12
when backs, backs are
full. Oh! Yes, yes, yes,
00:12:23.77\00:12:26.65
yes, yes, I know
that that's another story
00:12:26.66\00:12:28.68
yeah, yeah, yeah
because I was over in
00:12:28.69\00:12:30.61
one of those
countries and thanks for
00:12:30.62\00:12:32.18
reminding me, and all
these women are working
00:12:32.19\00:12:35.50
with babies on their
backs and they've kind
00:12:35.51\00:12:37.42
of got them
wrapped in her goat skin.
00:12:37.43\00:12:38.98
Whole different
idea. Whole different idea,
00:12:38.99\00:12:40.39
and I'm saying,
what's this you're doing?
00:12:40.40\00:12:42.47
And she says
backs are for babies.
00:12:42.48\00:12:44.12
Yes, I like that
answer. And, and I really
00:12:44.13\00:12:46.46
think, I really think
that that could possible,
00:12:46.47\00:12:50.72
now we know there
are families that can't
00:12:50.73\00:12:53.20
have children for
some reason or another.
00:12:53.21\00:12:55.39
There's some that
choose not to have, right,
00:12:56.13\00:12:58.42
children, for some
reason or another and,
00:12:58.43\00:13:01.55
but I think Kathy
that I'm so thankful.
00:13:01.68\00:13:04.62
For children. For
children. I didn't even began
00:13:04.72\00:13:07.51
to understand the
love of God until I had
00:13:07.52\00:13:09.10
children, the idea
that God gave His only Son
00:13:09.11\00:13:13.51
and how He must
have felt I really didn't
00:13:14.35\00:13:17.41
even have concept
until I began to take care
00:13:17.42\00:13:19.98
of my own child and
the things that would
00:13:19.99\00:13:22.16
happen between us
that's when we learn to
00:13:22.17\00:13:26.40
begin to be unselfish.
Well, it's risky to have
00:13:26.41\00:13:30.38
children; I have a
friend, maybe that's why
00:13:30.39\00:13:33.44
because we don't
want to be unselfish.
00:13:33.66\00:13:35.35
Well, unselfishness
now of course you know,
00:13:35.50\00:13:38.10
if you, you know, you
just come out and tell
00:13:38.11\00:13:39.64
somebody and say,
the reason you don't
00:13:39.65\00:13:40.77
have, don't have
children is because you're
00:13:40.78\00:13:42.09
selfish you know,
they can punch you on the
00:13:42.10\00:13:43.56
nose or something or you know,
00:13:43.57\00:13:45.96
what are you doing judging me?
00:13:46.02\00:13:47.12
I have a friend and,
I said maybe that's why.
00:13:47.78\00:13:50.01
I have a friend who
he and his wife had no
00:13:51.84\00:13:54.09
children, they have
cats and, and they can't
00:13:54.10\00:13:57.69
have children I
didn't, I've never asked him
00:13:57.70\00:13:59.51
all the details
and, and but I tease him
00:13:59.52\00:14:02.59
sometimes I'll say you
know, all your children
00:14:02.60\00:14:04.83
have these sharp
teeth and claws, yes,
00:14:04.84\00:14:06.47
yes, and they're
hairy and everything.
00:14:06.48\00:14:07.96
And, and the
biggest problem you have
00:14:08.65\00:14:10.22
hairballs and,
and fleas or whatever,
00:14:10.23\00:14:12.41
you know, right, but
they love their, they love
00:14:12.42\00:14:14.25
their cats, and I'm
glad that God has given
00:14:14.26\00:14:16.12
us pets. But the,
but the greatest joy of
00:14:16.13\00:14:18.96
all and the greatest sadness.
00:14:18.97\00:14:21.02
Yes, was in their
relationship with your
00:14:21.03\00:14:22.80
children. Yeah,
the greatest sadness.
00:14:22.81\00:14:24.93
A lot of heartache sometimes.
00:14:25.64\00:14:26.99
Well, and, and that's
why we've been talking
00:14:27.81\00:14:30.41
about we've been talking about,
00:14:30.42\00:14:31.60
we can't change our
children, you know now,
00:14:33.11\00:14:35.23
you know we might be
under the illusion that
00:14:35.24\00:14:37.42
we can but, but as long as,
00:14:37.43\00:14:39.95
is God gives us the free will,
00:14:39.96\00:14:42.49
then He's gonna
give them the free will.
00:14:43.72\00:14:45.12
And, and when He, He
created man and gave him a
00:14:46.62\00:14:49.80
free will man
turned the, the wrong way.
00:14:49.81\00:14:52.09
And so, you know maybe
I ought to disabuse myself
00:14:53.43\00:14:56.95
for the fact that that,
if I do everything right
00:14:56.96\00:14:59.31
it's gonna end up, right?
00:14:59.32\00:15:00.29
God did everything
right. And at least in the
00:15:00.30\00:15:04.19
short term. And sure
people have a choice.
00:15:04.20\00:15:05.30
It ended up wrong, and
you hate to say it this
00:15:05.31\00:15:09.39
way and of course I
don't, I can't count,
00:15:09.40\00:15:11.94
but if I read scripture
right, there will be more
00:15:12.67\00:15:15.99
people lost then were saved.
00:15:16.00\00:15:18.17
Straight is the way
and narrow is the gate,
00:15:19.55\00:15:21.33
that's true, and
broad. And, and so Jesus died
00:15:21.34\00:15:24.65
for everybody, He is not willing
00:15:24.66\00:15:26.17
that any should
perish, but that the all should
00:15:26.18\00:15:28.46
come to repentance,
but the scripture clearly
00:15:28.47\00:15:30.65
teaches that that
won't be the case.
00:15:30.66\00:15:32.43
Alright. Now, I'm not
talking this way so that
00:15:32.44\00:15:35.57
we can say, well I had
four kids and two turned
00:15:35.58\00:15:37.44
out good and two
turned out bad and so,
00:15:37.45\00:15:40.48
that that's the odds.
So, I'm giving up hope.
00:15:40.49\00:15:42.62
Exactly, and so just,
we don't want to do that,
00:15:43.40\00:15:45.00
you know I'm gonna
get satisfied with that
00:15:45.01\00:15:46.10
I just, I just
got to get used to it.
00:15:46.11\00:15:47.34
Listen, I was at a
meeting they were training a
00:15:48.26\00:15:52.02
lay evangelist and to
be, to give evangelistic
00:15:52.03\00:15:55.95
meetings and a man
walked up to me and he said,
00:15:55.96\00:16:00.39
are you Richard
O'Ffill? And I said, yes.
00:16:01.11\00:16:04.13
He said, I thought
so, he said I haven't seen
00:16:04.14\00:16:08.85
you since you did
the funeral of my mother.
00:16:08.86\00:16:12.21
Oh! And he
said, my name is Bill,
00:16:12.22\00:16:14.93
he gave his last
name, and my mother and,
00:16:14.94\00:16:17.43
and she was my
secretary. And Kathy she died of
00:16:17.44\00:16:23.71
Lou Gehrig's disease,
the woman was a saint,
00:16:23.72\00:16:26.92
she was a saint. In
fact, if you can say such a
00:16:26.93\00:16:31.40
thing I never forget it
at her funeral it was as
00:16:31.41\00:16:35.97
if she had a little
smile on her face because she
00:16:35.98\00:16:38.51
loved Jesus so much,
but her son Bill was there,
00:16:38.52\00:16:42.29
he said Pastor
O'Ffill I was at the funeral,
00:16:42.30\00:16:44.76
but I was drunk,
I was drunk and I
00:16:44.77\00:16:51.67
thought to myself you know,
00:16:51.68\00:16:52.84
if I had asked Sybil in
those last hours, Sybil,
00:16:52.85\00:16:58.91
how's it with the
kids. What did she said?
00:16:58.92\00:17:02.14
She just said, Pastor O'Ffill,
00:17:02.15\00:17:03.95
I got a boy he's lost,
and I've prayed for him
00:17:03.96\00:17:09.30
all my life, now she
couldn't and she wouldn't
00:17:09.31\00:17:12.40
have, but she could have said,
00:17:12.41\00:17:13.38
and I have done any
good. And here I'm dying,
00:17:13.39\00:17:16.66
and the Lord
hasn't answered my prayer,
00:17:16.67\00:17:18.36
but here Bill
is, and you did the,
00:17:20.05\00:17:23.63
totally changed,
totally changed Kathy
00:17:23.64\00:17:26.07
he's become a lay preacher,
00:17:26.08\00:17:28.17
he's an elder in the Church.
00:17:28.18\00:17:29.69
And, and we both
we're gonna do, we've been
00:17:30.77\00:17:32.54
embraced. Amen.
And, and that gave me so
00:17:32.55\00:17:35.94
much hope. And you knew.
00:17:35.95\00:17:37.95
Because I thought
to myself Sybil never
00:17:37.96\00:17:40.70
learned, never
lived, to see the,
00:17:40.71\00:17:42.97
to see the answer
of her prayer but,
00:17:42.98\00:17:45.30
but even when she,
neither did Abraham?
00:17:45.31\00:17:47.15
And when she died God
kept working to save Bill
00:17:47.16\00:17:51.49
and in the resurrection
he's gonna be there and,
00:17:51.50\00:17:54.89
the angels will bring
them together, and Bill,
00:17:54.90\00:17:57.29
is it you? Mom,
isn't that gonna be one?
00:17:57.30\00:18:00.33
Yes, everyone. And,
and so I think this is the
00:18:00.34\00:18:02.00
temptation that we
have, the same temptation
00:18:02.01\00:18:04.32
to get hope. Yeah. And
I've prayed you know I,
00:18:04.33\00:18:07.65
I was holding some
meetings one time and
00:18:07.66\00:18:10.64
there were two women
there, and can I use the
00:18:10.65\00:18:13.43
word old women?
Kind of oldish women?
00:18:13.44\00:18:15.13
I guess, we
might as well do that,
00:18:15.14\00:18:16.84
we might as well get
real, and these women told
00:18:16.85\00:18:20.25
how they had lived with
unbelieving husbands for
00:18:20.26\00:18:24.28
40 years and you know,
to live with an unbeliever
00:18:24.29\00:18:27.29
we don't know what
that story because he could
00:18:27.30\00:18:29.10
have been mean, he
could have been cynical,
00:18:29.11\00:18:31.07
he could have you
know insulted her,
00:18:31.08\00:18:33.09
she could have
divorced him and hit the road.
00:18:33.97\00:18:35.91
But she didn't.
She didn't, and both of
00:18:35.92\00:18:38.24
those women said
that 40 years later their
00:18:38.25\00:18:42.04
husbands gave
their hearts to Jesus,
00:18:42.05\00:18:43.61
and I'll never
forget their husband said,
00:18:44.94\00:18:47.03
thank you for not
giving up on me. Amen,
00:18:47.04\00:18:50.01
yes I can see that
that would be rejoicing like
00:18:50.02\00:18:54.13
the, the Shepard who found lamb,
00:18:54.14\00:18:56.71
it's something like
at a time like that,
00:18:56.72\00:18:58.33
so we would be
rejoice. Well, you see,
00:18:58.34\00:18:59.56
but the temptation
is, there is so long,
00:18:59.57\00:19:01.30
we want to give
up, we want to give up
00:19:01.31\00:19:03.47
because we get tired,
well it's not working,
00:19:03.48\00:19:05.27
well I pray for 10
years it's not working.
00:19:05.84\00:19:07.69
Now, in my case it
took 10 years until my boy
00:19:07.70\00:19:10.38
was healed. I'm sure
you were tempted during
00:19:10.39\00:19:13.59
those 10 years to give
up. Well, well it wasn't
00:19:13.60\00:19:14.96
doing any good and,
and, and you didn't think
00:19:14.97\00:19:18.40
it was. Well, see
that was the point,
00:19:18.41\00:19:20.41
but God was working and, and,
00:19:20.42\00:19:22.00
and readily I think we
need to remember that no
00:19:22.01\00:19:25.70
one is gonna change
until they hit bottom,
00:19:25.71\00:19:28.05
and see this why in
our, in our prayers you know
00:19:28.73\00:19:32.16
we could even prayer and,
00:19:32.17\00:19:33.15
and I've done this
Kathy, I've said Lord,
00:19:33.16\00:19:35.57
do whatever it takes see.
00:19:35.58\00:19:36.92
Yes. In other words
we can't have both ways.
00:19:36.93\00:19:39.62
We can say and Lord
help him to prospered and get
00:19:39.63\00:19:41.97
rich and, and have all
the good things and all
00:19:41.98\00:19:44.51
that. Right,
right. And then out of the
00:19:44.52\00:19:45.49
other corner of our mouths say,
00:19:45.50\00:19:47.45
oh! Lord save my
children, we've got say,
00:19:47.46\00:19:50.28
Lord now, I'm
willing to give you the reign
00:19:50.29\00:19:53.21
on whatever it is
that's gonna happen to them,
00:19:53.22\00:19:55.04
but just save them.
Just do whatever it takes,
00:19:55.05\00:19:58.10
just do what it
takes. But I do pray Lord,
00:19:58.11\00:20:00.38
don't let the devil take them.
00:20:00.39\00:20:01.88
Yes. And don't let
the devil take them,
00:20:01.89\00:20:03.60
where there is life
you know, there is hope,
00:20:03.61\00:20:06.57
there is hope. And
so, I think we're gonna
00:20:06.58\00:20:10.04
be careful about that
we, remember in one of our
00:20:10.05\00:20:12.95
programs we said,
remember I told you how,
00:20:12.96\00:20:15.69
how Dan said to me?
00:20:15.70\00:20:16.67
Why don't you just
accept me the way I am and,
00:20:16.68\00:20:18.61
and, and how I said
with tears in my eyes?
00:20:18.62\00:20:20.87
Honey, I'll never be
happy until you've accepted
00:20:20.88\00:20:24.86
Jesus as your
Savior until you come back.
00:20:24.87\00:20:27.05
Right. And how he
got tears in his eyes?
00:20:27.06\00:20:28.65
Now, now certain
people would say,
00:20:28.66\00:20:30.35
well you just
got to accept them.
00:20:30.36\00:20:31.88
No, no, no I did accept him but,
00:20:31.89\00:20:35.84
but now what he was doing?
00:20:35.85\00:20:36.89
Not what he was
doing. Right. I mean,
00:20:36.90\00:20:38.28
am I gonna say, well
I've got an alcoholic
00:20:38.29\00:20:40.13
drug addict and I
guess I'll just have to get
00:20:40.14\00:20:42.30
used to it, oh! No Jesus,
00:20:42.31\00:20:43.85
I'm not gonna get used to it.
00:20:43.86\00:20:45.15
Yeah, I refuse.
Yeah, I'm not gonna let
00:20:45.16\00:20:46.92
you go unless you bless me,
00:20:46.93\00:20:49.82
I don't know now, now
maybe there are stories,
00:20:50.40\00:20:53.13
I'm sure there are that
don't have happy endings
00:20:53.14\00:20:56.48
though, though
my son and you know,
00:20:56.49\00:20:58.79
I'll tell you just how
it worked though he was
00:20:58.80\00:21:01.70
healed this divorce
thing you know that just
00:21:01.71\00:21:06.28
rolled on, that just rolled on.
00:21:06.29\00:21:07.98
And now I've got
teenage grandchildren and you
00:21:08.62\00:21:12.74
know, you know what
you do when you're living
00:21:12.75\00:21:15.07
with dad, spend
the weekends with mom
00:21:15.08\00:21:16.90
and how do you cope as
grandpa with that kind of
00:21:16.91\00:21:19.41
a pressure, and all
that they're gonna go
00:21:19.42\00:21:21.50
through. I don't
know, I don't know,
00:21:21.51\00:21:23.72
but I'm gonna trust the God.
00:21:23.73\00:21:25.10
And keep working
with Him, with Him,
00:21:25.11\00:21:27.75
along with Him. One
night I got a telephone
00:21:27.76\00:21:31.05
call from my, from my
oldest daughter and she
00:21:31.06\00:21:35.02
was near
hysterical, and she said dad,
00:21:35.03\00:21:37.48
he's gonna hate me,
dad he's gonna hate me,
00:21:37.49\00:21:39.04
I promised that I
wouldn't tell and what she had
00:21:39.05\00:21:43.51
discovered, what I
didn't know and now I knew he
00:21:43.52\00:21:46.74
was drinking and that
he was away from the Lord,
00:21:46.75\00:21:49.76
but I didn't know
he was a dope addict,
00:21:49.77\00:21:52.50
I didn't know that.
So, this is coming to the
00:21:52.51\00:21:55.33
rest of the story.
This is the rest of
00:21:55.34\00:21:56.96
the story and so,
and so she had discovered
00:21:56.97\00:22:00.84
this you know, how
the sibling would talk to
00:22:00.85\00:22:02.71
each other? She had discovered
00:22:02.72\00:22:04.21
this when she called
him up to wish him happy
00:22:04.22\00:22:05.84
birthday, but he had
it, as they often do,
00:22:05.85\00:22:08.74
oh! Just
everything gonna be alright,
00:22:08.75\00:22:11.46
I'm gonna quit, I'm gonna quit,
00:22:11.47\00:22:12.44
don't worry I've, I've
quit, I've quit you know,
00:22:12.45\00:22:14.48
they quit a thousand
of times, but she can't
00:22:14.49\00:22:17.38
stayed with us
see, and here it was two
00:22:17.39\00:22:19.06
weeks later and he had
and so, she forget hey,
00:22:19.07\00:22:22.52
I'm not gonna go on with this,
00:22:22.53\00:22:24.14
this boy is killing himself,
00:22:24.15\00:22:25.60
I'm gonna tell dad.
Well, Betty and I decided
00:22:25.61\00:22:30.14
right then that we
were gonna confront him the
00:22:30.15\00:22:31.76
next day, now we weren't gonna,
00:22:31.77\00:22:33.00
hey this is gonna have
to stop because he has,
00:22:33.01\00:22:34.66
he has babies, he has a wife and
00:22:34.67\00:22:37.42
now it's going from
dad to worse and so,
00:22:37.43\00:22:39.65
we began to think
well, you know what hospital
00:22:39.66\00:22:41.96
can we put him
in, what about the,
00:22:41.97\00:22:43.31
the treatment center,
that the treatment centers
00:22:43.32\00:22:45.56
and all that. And so,
00:22:45.57\00:22:46.73
I went to work that
morning and began to call,
00:22:46.74\00:22:49.58
I began to work on it
8:30 in the morning at
00:22:49.59\00:22:51.79
9 O'clock I get a call
from my boy and he said,
00:22:51.80\00:22:55.13
dad I need help.
And I'll never forget
00:22:55.14\00:23:01.35
going over to
the hospital where he
00:23:01.36\00:23:03.33
worked and my
big son, my big son,
00:23:03.34\00:23:06.76
big muscle man son,
he gets in the car and,
00:23:06.77\00:23:10.35
and we're gonna take
him to the emergency room
00:23:10.36\00:23:12.42
to check himself
in, and now as we,
00:23:12.43\00:23:16.19
now as we ride down
the road he puts his hand
00:23:16.20\00:23:19.65
over mine and he says,
dad what a fool I've been,
00:23:19.66\00:23:22.79
I've ruined my
life, I've ruined my life.
00:23:22.80\00:23:24.71
And you know it's a, it's a,
00:23:24.72\00:23:26.92
it's a special
feeling, it's an incredible
00:23:26.93\00:23:29.06
feeling to, to be
sitting next to your boy and
00:23:29.07\00:23:31.75
you're going to
check him in for,
00:23:31.76\00:23:34.23
for drug
addiction. And the next,
00:23:34.24\00:23:38.06
next few weeks you know they,
00:23:38.07\00:23:39.67
they put him in
the, in the psych ward,
00:23:39.68\00:23:41.36
that's the way
they treat him there
00:23:41.37\00:23:42.78
and they began to you
know do whatever they do
00:23:42.79\00:23:45.86
and giving me other you know,
00:23:45.87\00:23:47.73
methadone's and everything,
00:23:47.74\00:23:49.20
and making real accountable,
00:23:49.21\00:23:51.13
real accountable. And
put him in these groups,
00:23:51.14\00:23:54.70
where he's accountable.
And even those groups
00:23:54.71\00:23:57.32
make us
accountable, so I can God.
00:23:57.33\00:23:59.62
We need to be
accountable and they
00:23:59.63\00:24:01.54
also put him in, in
this, these testing urine
00:24:01.55\00:24:04.43
testing things to
keeping him accountable,
00:24:04.44\00:24:06.29
but you know I
praise Jesus I can say,
00:24:07.27\00:24:10.98
my boy was healed.
Amen. He was healed and,
00:24:10.99\00:24:16.08
and I can
almost, I can almost say,
00:24:16.09\00:24:19.17
my boy you know,
like the prodigal son's
00:24:19.18\00:24:21.76
father who was dead is alive.
00:24:21.77\00:24:26.04
And, and so when he
comes and he talks to me that
00:24:27.52\00:24:29.40
was not like before
when he'd hugged me and,
00:24:29.41\00:24:31.12
and I want to say,
don't touch me because
00:24:31.13\00:24:33.29
you know the little boy
that I know is, is gone.
00:24:33.30\00:24:36.79
Now, you're
throwing around, around the,
00:24:36.80\00:24:38.22
it's a big boy, its big boy.
00:24:38.23\00:24:40.52
And you're ready to
throw the coat on him and
00:24:40.53\00:24:41.50
give him the ring and,
and killed the fattened
00:24:41.51\00:24:43.29
calf. He's back again and, and,
00:24:43.30\00:24:45.00
and how thankful I am
and you know once in a
00:24:45.01\00:24:47.59
while he goes to a,
to AA, its kind of, of,
00:24:47.60\00:24:52.30
of a mission you
know, to kind of share his
00:24:52.31\00:24:54.54
faith. Really, really. Yeah,
00:24:54.55\00:24:55.76
he doesn't go there
'cause he needs and he says,
00:24:55.77\00:24:57.42
he said dad and he
said, you know to see these
00:24:57.43\00:24:59.57
men falling out
again, falling out again he
00:24:59.58\00:25:02.70
said, he said, but
there is one thing and I'll
00:25:02.71\00:25:04.22
share this with you I
have so much appreciation
00:25:04.23\00:25:06.17
for AA,
alcoholics anonymous, but,
00:25:06.18\00:25:09.67
but you know
they have this thing,
00:25:09.68\00:25:12.06
give yourself to God
as you're understanding.
00:25:14.57\00:25:16.46
Yes, yes. And at least you know,
00:25:16.47\00:25:18.32
where he was he said, I
want to talk about Jesus
00:25:18.33\00:25:20.94
and you know they don't
want to be that specific,
00:25:20.95\00:25:23.86
right, little
bit generic, right.
00:25:23.87\00:25:25.32
And he knows that
it was Jesus who, amen.
00:25:25.33\00:25:28.74
Who healed him
and who saved him.
00:25:28.75\00:25:30.46
Anyway speaking of AA a
little prayer the concept
00:25:31.08\00:25:36.38
of it, not that
we have to prayed,
00:25:36.39\00:25:37.81
but the concept is
so deep. And, and you've
00:25:37.82\00:25:40.53
heard of it before
it's the serenity prayer.
00:25:40.54\00:25:42.42
Yes, yes. And, and I
think we parents who have
00:25:42.43\00:25:46.05
children that
are that are outside,
00:25:46.06\00:25:48.30
who've gone away,
we do well to, to pray
00:25:48.31\00:25:52.28
this prayer. To
pray that prayer.
00:25:52.29\00:25:53.79
And have you, have
you heard it before.
00:25:53.80\00:25:55.23
Yes, I've heard it before.
00:25:55.24\00:25:56.21
And, and it goes
something like God
00:25:56.22\00:25:57.72
grant me the sovereignty
to accept the things I
00:25:57.73\00:26:01.71
cannot change, give
me the courage to change
00:26:01.72\00:26:05.86
the things I can and
give me the wisdom to know
00:26:05.87\00:26:10.07
the difference.
Yes, I need that.
00:26:10.08\00:26:12.90
I think that's powerful.
00:26:12.91\00:26:13.88
Yes, it is, if
you think about it.
00:26:13.89\00:26:15.58
Oh! I, in fact I don't
think you can do better
00:26:15.59\00:26:17.59
than that, God
give me the strength,
00:26:17.60\00:26:19.59
give me peace that in
this storm that that I
00:26:19.60\00:26:23.92
can accept reality
because I really can't do much
00:26:23.93\00:26:26.00
about it, but in my
own life I want to change,
00:26:26.01\00:26:30.34
I want to be right
myself and help to get it a,
00:26:30.35\00:26:33.61
to get it, to get it untangled,
00:26:33.62\00:26:35.18
to get it
untangled because if we can
00:26:35.19\00:26:38.04
untangle ourselves
from, from what our children
00:26:38.05\00:26:40.69
are going through I
think God that give us,
00:26:40.70\00:26:43.21
you know how can I pray that,
00:26:43.22\00:26:45.06
that God will save my
children unless He uses
00:26:45.07\00:26:47.69
me along the way.
Right, right and you
00:26:47.70\00:26:49.60
didn't give up. No, and I,
00:26:49.61\00:26:51.56
you attempted to give up.
00:26:51.57\00:26:52.54
Oh! Along the way,
but that's the title
00:26:52.55\00:26:53.73
of this one never give up.
00:26:53.74\00:26:54.75
Never give up and, and
we would say to those who,
00:26:54.76\00:26:57.95
who are out there
watching and who are
00:26:57.96\00:26:59.66
going through these
kinds of things don't give
00:26:59.67\00:27:02.42
up, don't give up hope.
Now, we need to pray for
00:27:02.43\00:27:06.30
them and we would
want them to keep praying
00:27:06.31\00:27:08.62
for us. Oh! Yes,
because it's an ongoing battle.
00:27:08.63\00:27:10.70
Absolutely, if you
know, I'm not stick up my head
00:27:10.71\00:27:13.79
up and say, the war is over,
00:27:13.80\00:27:15.42
now that battle might be over,
00:27:15.43\00:27:16.56
but we're still in it,
we're in it with the flesh
00:27:16.57\00:27:18.79
and the devil in
that, and he goes round like
00:27:18.80\00:27:20.95
a roaring lion,
seeking whom he might,
00:27:20.96\00:27:22.95
but we didn't know and
who maybe we have believe.
00:27:22.96\00:27:24.94
Amen. And have
confidence that He's able
00:27:24.95\00:27:26.82
to keep us. Amen.
And to keep our children,
00:27:26.83\00:27:28.83
this is my faith
and it's my hope and I
00:27:28.84\00:27:31.61
praise Him for that.
Yes, we want to give the
00:27:31.62\00:27:33.54
people hope, we
want to give you hope,
00:27:33.55\00:27:35.13
we want to claim the
promises of the Lord,
00:27:35.14\00:27:37.90
so that we can have hope.
00:27:37.91\00:27:38.88
Absolutely, and
we're going to pray now,
00:27:38.89\00:27:40.43
pray for us
while we pray for you.
00:27:40.44\00:27:42.26
Heavenly Father,
we're so thankful that
00:27:42.27\00:27:45.12
you're always
working through us and, and
00:27:45.13\00:27:49.03
with us. We're
thankful for the victories,
00:27:49.04\00:27:51.42
but Lord we wouldn't relax,
00:27:51.43\00:27:53.36
we prayed that as
the struggle continues,
00:27:53.37\00:27:56.00
that we will keep
our eyes on you. Amen.
00:27:56.01\00:27:59.60