Welcome to Thinking About Home,
00:00:32.73\00:00:34.08
I'm Kathy Matthews
and I'm glad you're with
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us. Today we're, our
guest is Richard O'Ffill
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from the Florida
Conference of Seventh-day
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Adventists and we're
going to be discussing
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how to look back
without going backwards.
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And Dick, I'm glad that
you're here again today.
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I'm glad to be here always.
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And I'm gonna start
out talking to you about
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your type A personality
that people have told
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me about. I
should, I should. You know,
00:00:56.88\00:00:59.91
that was kind of a,
that was kind of a fast start
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up. You know that
reminds me you know,
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here I must tell our
viewers that Kathy starts
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right off, she said
I hear you're a type A
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personality. And you
know, that's kind of fast
00:01:08.29\00:01:11.15
could you work up to
that? No, can't you see
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you already; yeah you
can see already that he
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is. This reminds me of
a, before I answer that
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this reminds me of a,
of a made up story of a
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fellow that had build
his house on the median
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strip of the
Interstate, you know sometimes
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they're real wide and
there's lots of trees,
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so he build his house
in there and he was talking
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about, do you know
this is a true story.
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And so, he's talking
with a buddy of his and
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he says, how do you
like living on this big wide
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ministry because I
love it the only problem I
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have is just I have to
be going 60 miles an hour
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when I come out of my drive.
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And so, that's
what you did, you say
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you know welcome to
Thinking About Home.
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Yes. Dick, I hear you
have a type A personality.
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Let's give them a
little background in case
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somebody you know
hasn't been watching
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the rest of this series
that we're talking about,
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about our families
obviously and about our
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children and particularly
our grown up children
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and maybe those who
are a heartache to us.
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And you know, we've
mentioned on some of the
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other programs of how
I prayed that one day,
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Lord keep your
mansions just, just save our
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children. And I'm sure
that all of those who are
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watching feel as, as
you and I do that what
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we want from heaven
is the joy of having
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our children with
us. This is everything,
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but of course we've
never been parents like
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this before you
know, I've never been here
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before as a
grandparent and as a, and as a
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father of grown
children. And I've kind of
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confessed and I said,
you know it didn't turn
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out all right. You
know, it's not about my
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children who have been
all ministers and Bible
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workers. We're
talking about a son who was
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an alcoholic and
you noticed I said was.
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Yes. See, this story
has a happy ending. Right.
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And I can tell it
because it has a happy ending,
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but I'm telling it
because there are those who
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are watching now, who
are right in the middle
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of it and it's not
happy, it's very painful.
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And you and I were
talking among ourselves
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that sometimes when
we laugh in this program
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it's not because
it's funny. Yeah right.
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It's really sad,
but we have a hope.
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See, so we're, we're
saying oh! God we have
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hope, we're gonna
press on, but anyway.
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It's we're not
really making a lot of it.
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No, we're not because
it's awful, it's awful.
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I think I may
have said this before,
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when I get to heaven
notice I didn't say if.
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When, when, it's a
surety, it's a surety and
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you ask me what it
was like? I can say it was
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a nightmare. You
know to watch your boy do
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crack is a nightmare,
but I thank Jesus forever
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because in this suffering
I got to know Him. Yes.
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I got to know Him
like; I don't think I could
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have ever known
him. And you and Betty as
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well closer. Oh! Yes,
our marriage got closer
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together. And the pain,
but as our children goes
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through these things
Kathy, you know we can't
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change them, but
God can change them.
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It took ten years to
set my boy free from his
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alcoholism and drug
addiction. But he didn't
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come to the victory
in the end without you;
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I mean you were a
part of it. Well, but I had
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to be praying
see. In other words,
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this is an important
point too and that is that
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that as we pray the
God saves our children.
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We have to be
praying that He saves us too
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because we are part
of the problem or we can
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very easily be
part of the problem.
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Anyway back to your
original question and I
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wasn't trying to avoid
it. No. Because it has a
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bearing. Which
one? Type A personality.
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The type A personality. Okay.
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And of course the
title of this program is,
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is how to look back
without going backwards
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and I don't need to
tell you that to be able to
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drive in a car you
have to have a rear view
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mirror. And so, cars
these days they have one
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up in the middle
there. Not in some countries,
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I'm sorry. I
don't know you know,
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well anyway maybe the
countries where you've
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been, whether it's all
about bullock carts and.
00:05:02.89\00:05:04.74
No. Anyway, so the
cars got a mirror on either
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side and it's got one
in the middle and if we're
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gonna go safely
forward we have to be kind of
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looking backward
at the same time.
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Otherwise, it could
put our forward movement
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in danger. And I
think as parents while we're
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going forward we've got
to be looking backwards,
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how to kind of
help us go forward?
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You mean to
learn about ourselves.
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Well, and I'm
gonna talk about this,
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I'm working up to
this type A personality so.
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Okay, alright.
Anyway, are you ready for it?
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'Cause this is
looking backwards.
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They're waiting for
it; I promised them this.
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You know fortunately
this is in the commercial
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a television
program and we need to say,
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and I tell you about
that after the break. Right.
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Anyway, one Sunday,
Betty and I were doing
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our Sunday morning
routine where you read
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the Sunday paper you
know, big thick paper.
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And comes with all
these ads and that's what
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we just do that on
Sunday morning and we
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work around the
house and all, but she kind
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of goes through
this routine. So, on this
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particular Sunday one
of these little ads was
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from a furniture
company and they were
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advertising
kitchen tables. Now, we had
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raised our family
you know, when I say that
00:06:15.89\00:06:18.10
I don't mean 30
years, but surely 15 or 20
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years we've had
the same kitchen table.
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And I want to tell
you, it was getting to be
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pretty old, it was
kind of trimmed in chrome,
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and the chrome was
getting a little you know
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worn and what
have you, little rusty.
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So, they were advertising,
I don't know if you've
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seen these tables
before that have white tile
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on the top. Yes, yes
I've a lot thing very much.
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And they're kind of
trimmed the natural wood
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and they trimmed
it like really pretty.
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And we looked at
that, we oh! That's really
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pretty you know, and
let's go look at that.
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It was gonna be I'm not
putting in a commercial;
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it was going be at
Wards, in all my life Wards.
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So, we said, hey
when the store's open this
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was Sunday, so they
weren't open till noon,
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let's go to Wards
and look at the table.
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Watch this, Betty
says, how do I do, how do
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I live with? Now, how
do these men live with
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these women all
this years because see we
00:07:04.43\00:07:06.76
men, we men, we
men we want to go buy a
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table. See, I wanted
to go buy go to Wards
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I liked it; I could see
the picture I wasn't blind,
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so I wanted to buy
the table. You know,
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what she says? Oh!
While we're added lets
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stop at Rhodes on
the way down and see if
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they've got one. And
then as long as we're
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looking the tables
we can go to rooms to go
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and I'm thinking oh!
No, in other words I don't
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want to go out and
spend the rest of my life
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buying kitchen table. I
don't relate to this real
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well you say we
men. Now, Tom would be
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shopping at each one
like Betty. Well, say
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okay. I think it's
this type A personality that
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we're talking about.
Well, no anyway women
00:07:44.76\00:07:47.54
are shoppers, women
are shoppers and well
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maybe, maybe I
leave it there. Good.
00:07:50.32\00:07:52.27
But anyway she was
going to shop and so
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what could I say
because I just wanted to go
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buy a table. So,
anyway after lunch we got
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a little bit delayed
and Andre was living with
00:08:02.15\00:08:04.78
us in those days
remember I told you how
00:08:04.79\00:08:06.46
we raised a
granddaughter for five years?
00:08:06.47\00:08:08.46
And when
grandparents are raising
00:08:08.98\00:08:10.08
grandchildren
that is a sad story.
00:08:10.09\00:08:11.95
Those five years
were wonderful years
00:08:14.76\00:08:16.16
because God gave
me and Betty a chance
00:08:16.17\00:08:18.34
to be parents
again, you know when you're
00:08:18.35\00:08:20.48
young you don't
know how to be a parent,
00:08:20.49\00:08:21.79
but when you've been
around a while I think
00:08:21.80\00:08:23.90
we did a better the second time.
00:08:23.91\00:08:25.39
Anyway, yeah you
back to the story now.
00:08:26.03\00:08:27.71
So, it was a little
bit late when we left and
00:08:28.73\00:08:31.22
of course the
stores were not gonna be
00:08:31.23\00:08:32.31
open till 10 O'clock on Sunday,
00:08:32.32\00:08:33.71
I wanted to get it
over I didn't want to spend
00:08:34.03\00:08:35.78
the week buying a kitchen table.
00:08:35.79\00:08:37.35
So, this was back in
the, in the days when
00:08:38.11\00:08:40.66
the children could be
in their car seats and
00:08:41.23\00:08:42.81
still be upfront,
you know they don't allow
00:08:42.82\00:08:44.35
that anymore. So,
anyway Betty was going
00:08:44.36\00:08:48.49
to drive I'm gonna
sit in the back seat,
00:08:48.50\00:08:50.17
so she is gonna be
with the baby and I'm
00:08:50.18\00:08:52.51
gonna be in the
back seat and away we go.
00:08:52.52\00:08:54.96
We stopped at Rhodes
that was the first thing
00:08:55.66\00:08:57.57
we came to. I
actually liked the Rhodes table
00:08:57.58\00:09:01.11
I think better than the
picture the Wards picture,
00:09:01.12\00:09:03.54
so I said lets
get it. And she said,
00:09:04.02\00:09:06.92
no let's go into
Wards and see what.
00:09:07.07\00:09:08.68
I wanna get it
over with, so anyway
00:09:09.22\00:09:12.45
you know the time is
going by and I want to
00:09:12.46\00:09:14.14
get all of my life
and. It's only a day.
00:09:14.15\00:09:17.55
See, anyway I should be
like you just so relaxed
00:09:18.64\00:09:21.66
and now, but
remember let's not get ahead
00:09:21.67\00:09:24.08
of the story. Okay.
Anyway, anyway we go
00:09:24.09\00:09:27.05
up to Wards, I saw
the Wards table I liked
00:09:27.06\00:09:30.20
the Rhodes better. I
said let's go back to Rhodes
00:09:30.47\00:09:33.09
and get it. She said,
listen lets move on rooms
00:09:33.10\00:09:36.02
to go you know,
see what they've got?
00:09:36.03\00:09:37.69
Right, but now I'm
watching the clock 'cause
00:09:38.48\00:09:41.50
I don't wanna be
shopping for tables all week
00:09:41.51\00:09:43.84
long. So, anyway
Betty is driving I'm in the
00:09:43.85\00:09:46.49
back so we pull out
into the traffic in order
00:09:46.50\00:09:49.20
to go back to where
we're going so we kind
00:09:49.21\00:09:51.65
of pull out we cross
over to the left lane and
00:09:51.66\00:09:53.98
we have to get in a turn way.
00:09:53.99\00:09:55.20
And of course, when
you're in a hurry what
00:09:56.23\00:09:57.44
happens, lights
are always on red.
00:09:57.45\00:09:59.61
So, just as we turn
around we're getting way
00:10:00.37\00:10:01.96
to go back light
goes red. I'm looking at
00:10:01.97\00:10:03.79
my watch and
I'm getting nervous.
00:10:03.80\00:10:05.91
And we're sitting
there, I'm thinking myself
00:10:06.53\00:10:08.32
oh! I was just hurry
up. Suddenly the light
00:10:08.33\00:10:10.46
goes green; you
know when I say suddenly
00:10:10.47\00:10:11.99
five minutes
later, ten minutes later,
00:10:12.10\00:10:13.34
half an hour later. And
so the light goes green,
00:10:13.35\00:10:16.09
but the. It takes
ten minutes later.
00:10:16.10\00:10:17.37
The traffic
doesn't move. You know,
00:10:18.04\00:10:19.69
how it will do that sometimes?
00:10:19.70\00:10:20.78
And so, when the
traffic didn't move I said
00:10:21.15\00:10:22.80
to Betty toot the
horn. And here's the punch
00:10:22.81\00:10:26.36
line, she says to
me just as calm as you
00:10:26.37\00:10:28.84
please I'm not a
type A personality there's
00:10:28.85\00:10:31.66
where we go. In
other words I'm saying toot
00:10:31.67\00:10:35.16
the horn she says,
do you know that hit me
00:10:35.17\00:10:38.11
like a ton of bricks,
if she had slapped me in
00:10:38.12\00:10:41.31
the face, if she had
punch me in the nose it
00:10:41.32\00:10:45.03
wouldn't have been as
bad. I considered that
00:10:45.04\00:10:47.66
an insult. Remember,
I told you in another
00:10:47.67\00:10:50.60
programs how when I
get mad I don't throw
00:10:50.61\00:10:52.56
stuff, I don't cuss,
sometimes I even keep
00:10:52.57\00:10:55.64
smiling. And so, I
was there I was smiling
00:10:55.65\00:10:58.83
kind of you
know, but I'm thinking.
00:10:58.84\00:11:00.09
And does it look
like a really good smile.
00:11:00.30\00:11:02.00
And I'm thinking
why have you insulted me
00:11:03.45\00:11:05.32
so bad? I thought this
is not a psychology class.
00:11:05.33\00:11:09.09
So, you don't like
being called a type A
00:11:09.43\00:11:10.84
personality. Well,
maybe in a psychology class,
00:11:10.85\00:11:12.88
but not when you're
shopping for tables,
00:11:12.89\00:11:14.80
I thought she was in,
I thought she was calling
00:11:15.48\00:11:18.08
me names; I kind
of reacted that way.
00:11:18.09\00:11:19.73
And it was kind of
like remember when we used
00:11:20.03\00:11:21.27
to get
teeter-totter when we were kids.
00:11:21.28\00:11:22.83
It was like she
jumped off the teeter-totter
00:11:23.19\00:11:24.98
I got boom and I thought hey,
00:11:24.99\00:11:28.64
we've got to level
this thing up; I've got to
00:11:28.65\00:11:30.55
say something
to get back at her.
00:11:30.56\00:11:32.66
And they're crazy
what the hard, but you know
00:11:33.84\00:11:35.61
when you think
of what anger does?
00:11:35.84\00:11:37.67
Anger is a
destroyer, it's a destroyer.
00:11:37.92\00:11:40.42
So, I'm gonna think
that something I can say
00:11:40.85\00:11:43.07
to put you know, you
know sort to get back
00:11:43.08\00:11:46.67
at her. Why did you
say that? But when we
00:11:46.68\00:11:48.31
I thought, I'm thinking
by that time we're going
00:11:48.32\00:11:51.20
down the street. And
in all reality, really I'm
00:11:51.21\00:11:53.56
sorry I've
interrupted you again,
00:11:53.57\00:11:54.86
but this happens a
lot. This happens to people
00:11:54.87\00:11:58.13
on a regular basis
and they don't single it
00:11:58.29\00:12:00.47
out like you have and
thought it through like
00:12:00.48\00:12:03.06
you've done? Well,
see that's a title of our
00:12:03.07\00:12:04.80
program how to
look back without going
00:12:04.81\00:12:07.01
backward you see. I
think as I go through
00:12:07.02\00:12:09.26
life I had better look
back. See this story it'll
00:12:09.27\00:12:12.86
end up alright, but I
had to be aware of what
00:12:12.87\00:12:16.08
was going.
Remember that little diddy,
00:12:16.09\00:12:18.73
to err is human. Oh!
Yes. To forgive divine.
00:12:18.97\00:12:21.81
Now, I like yours. You
like the way I spin it.
00:12:21.83\00:12:23.84
Well, I like that of
course because that's
00:12:23.85\00:12:26.33
the true, and the
best way to look at.
00:12:26.51\00:12:28.21
But I spin it a
little different. Yes.
00:12:28.22\00:12:29.61
To err is human not
to admit it is dumb.
00:12:29.62\00:12:31.91
That sounds like
a Richard O'Ffill.
00:12:32.59\00:12:34.14
And so, and so I
think that that in our lives
00:12:34.79\00:12:38.13
we need to look
back, we need to look back
00:12:38.52\00:12:41.03
and see where we went wrong?
00:12:41.04\00:12:42.83
See, this is a story
I'm telling on myself.
00:12:42.89\00:12:45.02
Right. Now, if I
were to ask the viewing
00:12:45.20\00:12:46.86
audience, if I'm
your, if I'm the only type A
00:12:46.87\00:12:49.12
personality who has
ever done this I think I
00:12:49.13\00:12:51.33
get some hands going up on them,
00:12:51.34\00:12:52.73
but anyway I'm
telling this story on myself
00:12:53.21\00:12:54.96
because we need to
analyze ourselves like,
00:12:55.09\00:12:57.71
you know we count
our money when we do
00:12:57.96\00:12:59.39
business, and we're
doing an audit of our
00:12:59.40\00:13:01.15
business, we
audit our plans. Listen,
00:13:01.16\00:13:03.55
our homes don't
break up overnight. No.
00:13:03.75\00:13:05.97
Life is cause and
effect. We will count our
00:13:06.58\00:13:09.74
money and we'll
wonder why we got a divorce?
00:13:09.75\00:13:12.83
When it was
happening all the time?
00:13:13.90\00:13:15.17
It was happening all
the time, but we're not
00:13:15.18\00:13:17.54
gonna count, we
don't wanna look,
00:13:17.55\00:13:19.23
I wanna count my
money, I wanna make sure
00:13:19.54\00:13:20.99
my car gets it's oil
changed, but I don't talk
00:13:21.00\00:13:23.64
to be about my,
about my wife or about me
00:13:23.65\00:13:26.15
and my kids see,
when that's really over?
00:13:26.16\00:13:28.28
Man as you get a
new car. This is our
00:13:28.36\00:13:30.28
character though;
don't talk to me about my
00:13:30.29\00:13:31.81
character. Well,
that's about. The very thing,
00:13:31.82\00:13:33.85
well you've talked
about what we want to
00:13:34.36\00:13:36.00
do is like our
children to have, save our
00:13:36.01\00:13:38.82
children. And that's right, but.
00:13:38.83\00:13:40.22
But it's our character.
And that's the only thing
00:13:40.23\00:13:41.93
we can change but,
but I think we're saying
00:13:41.94\00:13:44.42
sometimes we're more
interested in our cars,
00:13:44.43\00:13:46.42
in our boats, in our
houses then we are in
00:13:46.43\00:13:48.90
our character, in
our homes. Right, now
00:13:48.91\00:13:51.52
you were turning off.
Well, and so I'm going,
00:13:51.53\00:13:53.30
I'm going down the
road and I met and I'm
00:13:53.31\00:13:54.70
not cussing or
swearing I just think I've got
00:13:54.71\00:13:58.26
to say something
you know. And of course
00:13:58.27\00:14:00.48
you know when
you're mad what you say is
00:14:00.49\00:14:01.84
no good. What we say
well usually when we're
00:14:01.85\00:14:04.83
mad or usually you
know complicated things.
00:14:04.84\00:14:07.09
Is that striking while
the iron is hot or is that
00:14:07.20\00:14:09.07
something else? Not
easy, oh! Yeah, well when,
00:14:09.08\00:14:12.39
if you wanna talk
about that of her just a
00:14:12.40\00:14:14.18
minute, shall we
break into that story for a
00:14:14.19\00:14:15.98
minute? Have you
heard the expression
00:14:15.99\00:14:17.23
strike when the iron
is hot? Yes. I say don't.
00:14:17.24\00:14:19.44
And I say that when
the iron is hot when you,
00:14:20.75\00:14:23.81
when you mark it or
bend it, it stays bend.
00:14:23.95\00:14:25.96
You could do permanent damage.
00:14:27.22\00:14:28.29
We do permanent
damage. We're saying
00:14:28.37\00:14:29.34
something when
you're angry. So, what we've
00:14:29.35\00:14:30.76
say when we're
angry or when someone else
00:14:30.77\00:14:32.84
is angry you can't
take back, but the problem
00:14:32.85\00:14:36.26
is when we're not
angry we don't care.
00:14:36.27\00:14:38.59
And so, really if
we're gonna solve problems
00:14:39.73\00:14:41.91
and share and
actually teach each other we
00:14:42.58\00:14:45.45
should do it when
there is a good will because
00:14:45.46\00:14:47.32
a person persuaded
against their will is of
00:14:47.33\00:14:49.45
the same opinion
still. And so, and so no
00:14:49.46\00:14:52.80
I don't believe in
striking when the iron
00:14:52.81\00:14:54.48
is hot I think we ought
to wait until we cool off
00:14:54.49\00:14:57.92
and if it was still
important enough to care
00:14:58.01\00:14:59.99
then pray. Then speak about it.
00:15:00.36\00:15:01.33
Then speak about
it, so I'm going on the
00:15:01.34\00:15:03.14
highway and I'm
thinking to myself I got to
00:15:03.15\00:15:08.07
say something and then,
then I start this little
00:15:08.08\00:15:11.47
debate with myself.
And remember she said
00:15:11.48\00:15:15.17
I'm a type A
personality, and so it occurred
00:15:15.18\00:15:19.20
to me I kind of ask
myself what is it true,
00:15:19.21\00:15:22.20
for what true? So,
you're looking back now.
00:15:23.48\00:15:25.32
No, I'm looking
in my own history,
00:15:25.33\00:15:26.74
but I'm looking back.
Well, it's a too much she
00:15:26.75\00:15:28.28
said, where I
suppose if you can talk about
00:15:28.29\00:15:32.10
personality types.
I guess you would have
00:15:32.11\00:15:34.02
to say I'm type A
personality. And then I
00:15:34.03\00:15:37.76
said to myself
then why are you mad?
00:15:37.77\00:15:39.76
Do you think you've
said that to yourself or
00:15:40.79\00:15:42.32
you maybe that was
the Holy Spirit running
00:15:42.33\00:15:44.72
that thought to
you? You know me I'm a
00:15:44.73\00:15:46.69
little sensitive to
saying God told me this,
00:15:46.70\00:15:48.98
God told me that. Well
maybe. But I do believe
00:15:49.13\00:15:50.96
the Holy Spirit impresses,
I do believe that that
00:15:50.97\00:15:54.88
the Holy Spirit was
really impressing my heart.
00:15:54.89\00:15:57.14
He was making me think
seriously because I was
00:15:57.15\00:16:00.11
obviously on the
wrong track, I was about to
00:16:00.12\00:16:02.87
say something
that didn't need to be.
00:16:02.88\00:16:04.78
I don't know what
it would have been?
00:16:04.79\00:16:06.01
But it didn't need to be said.
00:16:06.83\00:16:07.87
And so, the Holy
Spirit was pressing my heart
00:16:08.31\00:16:10.84
and I'm learning
something from this.
00:16:10.85\00:16:12.46
And I'm asking
myself the question, are you
00:16:13.42\00:16:17.26
type A
personality? Yes, I probably
00:16:17.94\00:16:19.84
am if you're gonna saying that.
00:16:19.85\00:16:20.93
Why are you mad? And
then I got to thinking
00:16:21.08\00:16:23.71
to myself I thought
you know, I'm praying
00:16:23.72\00:16:27.20
that Jesus will, will
change me. I wanna be like
00:16:27.70\00:16:32.17
Him, I really do. And
then it occurred to me
00:16:32.18\00:16:37.07
then how is he
gonna get through to you?
00:16:37.08\00:16:38.90
And then I thought
well maybe Lord You
00:16:43.13\00:16:44.50
maybe You could
speak a voice from heaven
00:16:44.51\00:16:46.08
maybe. See, in other
words you want to tell
00:16:46.09\00:16:47.55
me something, tell
it to me from the cloud.
00:16:47.56\00:16:50.31
You don't want to
accept it any other way,
00:16:51.96\00:16:53.17
no still small
voices. No, maybe a dream or
00:16:53.77\00:16:56.28
vision or even if you
need to a donkey and then
00:16:56.29\00:17:00.11
it occurred to me
what about your wife?
00:17:00.12\00:17:01.94
Oh! No, Lord no. A
dream or a vision or a
00:17:02.81\00:17:06.62
voice from heaven or
a donkey, but I don't
00:17:06.63\00:17:08.71
want my wife
telling me anything.
00:17:08.72\00:17:10.56
And then I realize that
that if I'm really sincere
00:17:12.19\00:17:15.18
about God working
in my life and really
00:17:16.27\00:17:19.82
impressing me I
have to be listening.
00:17:19.83\00:17:21.84
To your wife
occasionally. Or from wherever
00:17:22.32\00:17:24.42
the voice comes.
Right. From wherever the
00:17:24.43\00:17:27.28
voice comes because
the issue is not who said
00:17:27.29\00:17:30.27
it to me? The
issue is, is it true.
00:17:30.28\00:17:34.31
And so, one day I
was walking across the
00:17:35.62\00:17:39.18
grounds at one of
the big Florida hospitals
00:17:39.34\00:17:42.00
and there were some
fellows that are working
00:17:42.84\00:17:45.47
on the lawn and we
started talking and one of
00:17:45.48\00:17:49.38
them said,
something I'll never forget,
00:17:49.39\00:17:50.99
Pastor O'Ffill he
said we ought to listen to
00:17:52.55\00:17:55.26
our enemies because
they'll tell us things
00:17:55.27\00:17:59.81
about ourselves that
our friends won't tell us.
00:17:59.82\00:18:02.44
And I think there was
lots of wisdom to that.
00:18:04.29\00:18:06.05
Makes me think of a
scripture though that
00:18:08.34\00:18:09.78
says: Precious are
the wounds of a friend;
00:18:09.79\00:18:14.74
but the kisses of
an enemy are deceitful.
00:18:14.92\00:18:17.17
How do you gonna
work that one in.
00:18:18.60\00:18:19.80
I'm not going to
try, no because, because,
00:18:20.01\00:18:23.49
because I think to
be honest with myself I
00:18:23.71\00:18:25.89
should be listening
to the voice of God from
00:18:25.90\00:18:28.99
wherever it comes.
Right. And the issue is
00:18:29.00\00:18:31.63
not are you my
friend or are you my enemy
00:18:31.64\00:18:34.04
and what you
said. Because obviously,
00:18:34.25\00:18:35.74
obviously friends like
I in sharpen friends like
00:18:36.18\00:18:39.24
you said, but you
used the word deceitful
00:18:39.25\00:18:42.16
to be specific. In
other words, you see maybe,
00:18:42.48\00:18:44.88
maybe my friends
would try to deceive me or
00:18:44.89\00:18:46.83
my enemies rather
would try to deceive me,
00:18:46.84\00:18:48.49
but I guess when
I, when I want to say.
00:18:48.71\00:18:50.24
Sometimes there
can be some truth,
00:18:50.25\00:18:51.22
that said and you can
listen to it. And that's
00:18:51.64\00:18:53.58
the point see they
can just be really blunt,
00:18:53.59\00:18:55.58
and so, and so
when I preach about this
00:18:56.54\00:18:59.14
particular subject I
will say, the next time
00:18:59.15\00:19:02.43
somebody puts
you down I throw the
00:19:02.44\00:19:05.40
congregation. Embrace
it. No, ask yourself a
00:19:05.41\00:19:08.30
question. Is it true,
is it true, is it true?
00:19:08.31\00:19:12.32
And I would say that
to our viewers because
00:19:12.92\00:19:15.31
you know, this
society is very sensitive.
00:19:15.32\00:19:17.71
You can't walking on egg shells.
00:19:18.78\00:19:20.13
Yeah don't put me
down man I got to look
00:19:20.14\00:19:21.62
out for number one
you know, you can't
00:19:21.63\00:19:23.64
abuse me and so, and
so if I've got a shield
00:19:23.65\00:19:27.11
around me all the time
that's going to justify
00:19:27.12\00:19:29.78
everything I do then
how can I ever change?
00:19:29.79\00:19:33.22
We need to look at
ourselves. I think we need
00:19:33.43\00:19:35.35
to look at
ourselves and I'm thoroughly
00:19:35.36\00:19:37.52
convinced that that
if I'm on the wrong road
00:19:37.53\00:19:41.43
I'm gonna be stay on
that wrong road until
00:19:42.40\00:19:45.95
I admit I'm wrong.
And I know we men are
00:19:46.15\00:19:50.35
real sensitive
about this, I think we've
00:19:50.36\00:19:51.91
mentioned this in
another program we don't
00:19:51.92\00:19:53.87
want to admit
we're wrong, we want to
00:19:53.88\00:19:55.36
justify ourselves,
but we're really dumb,
00:19:55.37\00:19:58.37
to err is human,
do we make mistakes?
00:19:58.83\00:20:00.90
Do I make
mistakes? You bet I do,
00:20:00.91\00:20:02.82
but not to admit it
that's, that's not smart.
00:20:03.75\00:20:06.85
And so, I think that
I guess the point here
00:20:07.79\00:20:09.90
is because we're
talking about being,
00:20:09.91\00:20:11.10
about parents, big
parents and grandparents.
00:20:11.39\00:20:13.31
And our children
you know they're grown.
00:20:14.10\00:20:16.53
You know, for the
purposes of what we're
00:20:17.44\00:20:18.87
talking about now.
What are we gonna do?
00:20:18.88\00:20:21.52
I think we've said
in another programs,
00:20:23.05\00:20:25.09
we've said well we
shouldn't just beat
00:20:25.10\00:20:27.23
ourselves to death
and just say you know,
00:20:27.24\00:20:29.03
it was my fault and
I'm to blame and I think
00:20:29.04\00:20:33.83
the point is, look
back I must, but start going
00:20:33.84\00:20:37.33
backward I must
not. Right, right.
00:20:37.34\00:20:41.43
Now, this brings up
the question to of how
00:20:42.58\00:20:44.94
often shall we look
back? Because we're pretty
00:20:44.95\00:20:47.83
soon start going in
the direction where we're
00:20:47.84\00:20:49.80
looking. Right. So, if everyday.
00:20:49.81\00:20:51.88
In spite
beholding we become changed,
00:20:51.89\00:20:53.55
we become changed.
So, if everyday I'm
00:20:53.56\00:20:55.71
thinking of
yesterday, last year, ten years
00:20:55.72\00:20:58.15
ago and misery. I
think and I'll start,
00:20:58.16\00:21:00.64
I won't be able to
get on with my life,
00:21:01.36\00:21:02.88
but I do think that
I need to look back.
00:21:03.78\00:21:07.11
I hate to say, well
about the thing now I
00:21:08.29\00:21:10.75
don't know what
happened and I hope they
00:21:10.76\00:21:12.83
don't arrest me,
hope you don't call the
00:21:12.84\00:21:14.08
police when I'm about to say.
00:21:14.09\00:21:15.41
For some funny reasons, funny,
00:21:16.23\00:21:17.88
some weird reason,
one day my kids must
00:21:18.09\00:21:20.78
have been all cutting
up, they were just you
00:21:20.79\00:21:22.82
know sort of middle
size. I lined them up on
00:21:22.83\00:21:26.26
the wall and gave
them all the spanking at
00:21:26.27\00:21:28.48
the same time, I
hate myself for that and
00:21:28.49\00:21:33.72
you know, and I
might say here that I have
00:21:33.73\00:21:37.64
actually asked my
grown children to forgive
00:21:37.65\00:21:40.79
me for some of
these obvious, right,
00:21:40.80\00:21:42.71
crazy things and say,
oh! I feel so bad about it.
00:21:42.94\00:21:47.29
Oh! That's okay,
daddy that's okay,
00:21:47.30\00:21:49.17
but see I have to
get it out of my head.
00:21:49.43\00:21:50.67
Right. I have to say,
oh! That is how I feel
00:21:50.81\00:21:53.84
now, that was really
crazy. I can't live my
00:21:53.85\00:21:57.51
life again, but there
is one thing if I could
00:21:57.52\00:22:00.13
that I leave out.
And so, I ask them,
00:22:00.36\00:22:04.48
whenever I think
back of something that was
00:22:05.77\00:22:08.17
really, a sin of
omission or of commission in
00:22:08.18\00:22:11.90
raising children
I'll say to my kids,
00:22:11.91\00:22:14.00
you know I feel
sorry about that. Now, you
00:22:14.01\00:22:17.89
could say, well how
long you're gonna do
00:22:17.90\00:22:19.10
that? Rest of my life.
I'm sorry that I spanked
00:22:19.11\00:22:22.92
them all at one time and
it wasn't like till there
00:22:22.93\00:22:25.82
was a, you know
broken bones or anything,
00:22:25.83\00:22:27.37
I was mad, I was
mad. And when I'm 85 I'll
00:22:27.98\00:22:32.41
still be sorry.
Kathy, I'm sorry for every
00:22:32.42\00:22:35.71
mistake I had ever
made. I think of my father
00:22:35.72\00:22:39.16
when you were said
85 and at the age of 85
00:22:39.17\00:22:42.23
there was 12 of us
and at the age of 85
00:22:42.64\00:22:45.22
he was still saying I'm
sorry, I'm sorry for the
00:22:45.23\00:22:48.06
things. And long
since I had forgiven him,
00:22:48.07\00:22:51.02
but some had not.
Well, and see now some
00:22:51.13\00:22:54.86
maybe could,
could disagree and say,
00:22:54.87\00:22:57.51
well why think about it anymore.
00:22:58.38\00:23:00.01
Well, see I think we
can look back without
00:23:00.43\00:23:02.64
because when he was
saying that he wasn't
00:23:02.65\00:23:03.81
going backwards he
was showing through
00:23:03.82\00:23:06.07
repentance you see,
even the Apostle Paul
00:23:06.08\00:23:08.72
he would never
retell the stories,
00:23:08.73\00:23:10.58
but how you say oh!
I'm chief of sinners.
00:23:11.20\00:23:14.31
Right, right,
and remembering that,
00:23:14.32\00:23:16.59
but that spurred him
on. Well, of course it did.
00:23:17.07\00:23:18.87
And Peter too. And
he would say forgetting
00:23:18.88\00:23:20.91
those things now
that doesn't mean that he
00:23:20.92\00:23:22.92
didn't learn from
them. And he says,
00:23:22.93\00:23:24.51
forget the past or
you would better learn
00:23:24.79\00:23:27.71
from the past, you
had better not forget
00:23:27.72\00:23:29.40
everything in the past
or you'll keep doing it.
00:23:29.91\00:23:32.03
Right. And so,
that's, that's where I made
00:23:32.04\00:23:35.97
in my life I do look
back and because I want
00:23:35.98\00:23:40.14
to grow, I want to
grow and I'm glad we have
00:23:40.15\00:23:43.05
a heavenly Father
that's on our side. Amen.
00:23:43.06\00:23:46.98
Did I ever tell you
the story, when I was in
00:23:47.13\00:23:48.71
the seminary? I got
a D in an examination
00:23:48.72\00:23:54.81
and a C in the
seminary is an F, and I got a
00:23:56.02\00:23:58.88
D that's below and
F, and so the teacher
00:23:58.89\00:24:02.71
instead of giving
me a D he writes on the
00:24:02.98\00:24:06.19
exam he says,
Dick, what's wrong,
00:24:06.20\00:24:08.16
come and talk to me.
And so, I went on and
00:24:08.63\00:24:12.41
he said, what's wrong
didn't you understand?
00:24:12.64\00:24:14.67
'Cause there was
only one question and I
00:24:14.95\00:24:18.10
said no, I
didn't understand, but I
00:24:18.11\00:24:19.65
understand now. And
he said go do it again.
00:24:19.66\00:24:22.99
He gave you another chance.
00:24:23.47\00:24:24.44
He gave me another
chance, and I never
00:24:24.45\00:24:26.10
forgotten that
I've even when I was a
00:24:26.11\00:24:27.91
teacher I would do
that. Now, I'm not going to
00:24:27.92\00:24:30.00
give you the privilege
of getting F and I think
00:24:30.01\00:24:33.44
that about God I
think what a wonderful God,
00:24:33.45\00:24:36.32
who doesn't hold
our past against us.
00:24:37.16\00:24:39.19
And sometimes when
I make a big mistake
00:24:39.98\00:24:42.32
in my life then I tell
God I'll say, let's do that
00:24:42.33\00:24:46.20
again. Yeah. Because
I know that in Christ
00:24:46.21\00:24:49.15
we can be more
than conquerors that if
00:24:49.85\00:24:51.70
we confess our sins
he is faithful and just
00:24:51.71\00:24:53.64
to forgive. Amen.
But anyway, I have a text
00:24:53.65\00:24:55.86
that before we get on
further in the program,
00:24:56.06\00:24:58.51
time goes so fast
that it's so important
00:24:58.98\00:25:02.26
because sometimes we
think well, in the past
00:25:02.27\00:25:04.87
you know all the
bad things I've done,
00:25:04.88\00:25:07.18
I'm responsible, God
holds me responsible for
00:25:07.19\00:25:10.55
all I've done and
he's gonna hold it against
00:25:10.56\00:25:12.80
me and I heard a
person preach his sermon
00:25:12.81\00:25:15.71
not long ago and I
went found this text and I
00:25:16.15\00:25:18.96
would like to share
it with you and with our,
00:25:18.97\00:25:21.73
with our viewing
audience. It's in a Ezekiel
00:25:21.90\00:25:23.77
18 verse 20, listen
to this. The soul that
00:25:23.78\00:25:26.62
sinneth, it shall
die. Listen to this:
00:25:26.63\00:25:29.39
The son shall not bear
the iniquity of the father;
00:25:29.62\00:25:31.90
neither shall the
father bear the iniquity of
00:25:32.23\00:25:34.04
the son: the
righteousness of the
00:25:34.05\00:25:36.50
righteous shall be on
him, and the wickedness
00:25:36.51\00:25:39.28
of the wicked shall be
on him. But if the wicked
00:25:39.29\00:25:42.57
shall turn from all
his sins that he hath
00:25:42.58\00:25:44.63
committed, and
keep all my statutes,
00:25:44.64\00:25:47.37
and do that which
is lawful and right,
00:25:47.71\00:25:49.64
he shall surely
live, he shall not die.
00:25:49.86\00:25:52.08
All his transgressions
that he hath committed,
00:25:52.95\00:25:55.35
they shall not be
mentioned unto him:
00:25:55.65\00:25:57.57
and his righteousness
that he hath done he
00:25:57.88\00:26:00.43
shall live. And this
first part is so important,
00:26:00.44\00:26:05.47
the son shall not bear
the iniquity of the father,
00:26:05.75\00:26:07.96
neither shall the
father bear the iniquity of the
00:26:08.32\00:26:10.50
son. Amen. Though I
might have been have
00:26:10.51\00:26:13.72
contributed to
whatever the mistake was of
00:26:13.73\00:26:17.88
my children that in
the final out at the end
00:26:17.89\00:26:20.55
God sees us who
we are, He'll see us
00:26:21.31\00:26:24.27
individuals. And so, I
think we can look back,
00:26:24.28\00:26:27.18
we can learn from
the past. Not so that we
00:26:27.19\00:26:29.57
can go backwards,
but so that we can go
00:26:29.58\00:26:31.94
forward. Yes, we need
to ask for forgiveness
00:26:31.95\00:26:33.81
and learn from our
mistakes. Everyday don't
00:26:33.82\00:26:35.99
you think so?
Absolutely. And I try to
00:26:36.00\00:26:37.81
do this in my own, in
my own devotional life.
00:26:37.82\00:26:40.07
When I begin a day
I don't begin a day by
00:26:40.59\00:26:43.01
looking forward, but
by looking back because
00:26:43.02\00:26:45.34
I don't, I want to
do better than I did
00:26:45.35\00:26:47.13
yesterday. Amen.
That whether we eat or
00:26:47.14\00:26:49.05
drink or whatever
we do we do it to the
00:26:49.06\00:26:51.03
glory of God, glory of
God. I'd like to come up,
00:26:51.04\00:26:55.71
I mean I would like to
say those scripture again
00:26:56.08\00:26:58.87
that I've been saying
and that is let us not
00:26:58.88\00:27:01.60
be weary. Oh! Yes,
in well doing, amen,
00:27:01.61\00:27:04.40
for in due season we
shall reap, if we faint
00:27:04.41\00:27:07.41
not. And that's a
little scripture song and I
00:27:07.42\00:27:10.06
enjoy it, but every
time we talk about things
00:27:10.07\00:27:12.01
like this it makes me
think of it because we
00:27:12.02\00:27:13.64
can get so weary. We get tired,
00:27:13.65\00:27:16.27
we get tired. Yes,
but we need to learn and
00:27:16.28\00:27:18.35
go forward. But
God never gets tired.
00:27:18.36\00:27:20.10
See that's the nice
thing. Thank God for that.
00:27:20.44\00:27:21.48
You get tired He
never gets tired and He
00:27:21.84\00:27:24.31
renews our
strength and so things get
00:27:24.32\00:27:26.62
really heavy we get
discourage, but he wants
00:27:26.63\00:27:28.93
us to press on
towards the mark. Amen and
00:27:28.94\00:27:31.49
I want to remember
to tell you to press on
00:27:31.50\00:27:37.11
toward the mark as
well and as we go out
00:27:37.12\00:27:40.04
pray for us as
we're praying for you.
00:27:40.09\00:27:42.07
Heavenly Father,
we're thankful that you
00:27:42.79\00:27:45.96
give us a new
start everyday, and as we
00:27:45.97\00:27:48.78
look to the past that
we have the confidence
00:27:48.79\00:27:50.74
that if we confess
our wrongs that you're
00:27:50.75\00:27:53.19
faithful and just to forgive.
00:27:53.20\00:27:54.57
And it is in that
Day of Judgment that we
00:27:55.15\00:27:56.78
stand before You as
our heavenly Father.
00:27:56.79\00:27:58.83