Participants: Kathy Matthews, Richard O'Ffill
Series Code: TAH
Program Code: TAH000154
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00:33 Welcome to Thinking About Home.
00:34 I'm Kathy Matthews, and as always I'm glad 00:36 that you've joined us. We're going to have 00:39 our guest with us that's someone that you've 00:42 been seeing regularly, but this is still a new 00:45 program and we don't want you to miss it. 00:47 This is Pastor Dick O'Ffill from the 00:50 Florida Conference of Seventh-day Adventist. 00:52 And I call you pastor because I'm just used 00:54 to saying that. No that's all right, 00:55 that's okay. Whether it's though 00:56 you don't have a Church, do you? No I, 00:59 I work for the Florida Conference I, 01:01 in the, in the Headquarters Office 01:03 and so my Ministry takes me all over the 01:05 State of Florida, there are 200 churches. 01:08 And so, I work in the area of Health 01:10 and Temperance. And what we call 01:12 Adult Ministries, I also and the leader 01:15 of Men's Ministry. Men's Ministry. 01:17 Did you notice how I got a kind of assertive 01:19 when I said that Men's Ministry? 01:21 You're taking over, aren't you? 01:23 And you know my joke about the fact that 01:25 the women have their retreats. 01:27 But men have their ministries. Conventions. 01:29 Oh! Yes. But we're so thankful that there is 01:33 Women's Ministries. And I think that that 01:35 when we have Men's Ministries then we're 01:37 talking about the family and that's what this 01:39 program is about this and about the family. 01:40 It is, it is and we've been discussing a book 01:44 that I read of yours that I felt was so close 01:46 to my heart and that's "Lord Keep Your 01:48 Mansions, Just Save My Children." Yes. 01:50 Ah! I've, I was fascinated with the 01:52 title and of course we've discussed a little 01:54 bit about that, about that but. Well, remember 01:57 you asked me you said Dick, isn't that a little 02:00 sacrilegious? Yes, reverence sacrilegious 02:02 something like that. Isn't that, isn't that 02:04 revenant? And I explained to you 02:05 that it's a kind of a hard cry, right, that we 02:10 don't so much need mansions, the eternal 02:13 life that goes with it of course, but that we're 02:15 saying God the most important thing to us 02:18 is our children. Yes. You gave our children 02:20 to us here and we want you to save them, so 02:24 that we can be together there. That's why I 02:27 invited you back that you. Well I'm glad to be 02:29 back and. You've got lots to say about this. 02:31 Of course I, I wish I could say, Kathy I 02:36 wish I could say I've four children and 02:38 they're grandchildren I can say that. I wish I 02:40 could say that it's been wonderful, but it hasn't 02:45 been wonderful. I'm thankful that I've been 02:47 a parent, I want to be remembered as a parent, 02:50 but there been some terrible times. In 02:54 another program I talk about watching my son, 02:56 you remember are doing crack? Yes. And, and 02:59 I haven't mentioned it yet and, and maybe I 03:02 will a little later about, how we raised 03:04 a granddaughter for 5 years? Yes, now you 03:06 haven't said anything about that yet. Well, 03:08 we'll do that maybe in another program, but 03:10 when a, a grandparent talks about raising 03:13 grandchildren, yes, it's a sad story that goes 03:15 with that. But anyway my heart cry is that oh! 03:20 God save my children and my grandchildren 03:24 inspite of me. And remember we've talked 03:27 about some of the feelings we have as 03:28 parents about, are we, are we guilty, are 03:31 we to blame? Right. What are we gonna do 03:33 with our anger, our resentments. Right, yes. 03:35 Some of these things that come. Are we 03:37 responsible for what they are? Who's accountable? 03:42 Yeah, who is gonna be you know, am I to be 03:44 blamed? Well, undoubtedly I raised them, but 03:49 the fact that our son would began to take 03:52 drugs, was that my fault or was that his decision. 03:55 And I really feel that in order to be able to be 04:01 able to Minister to our children, we must not 04:05 observe ourselves. We must be responsible for, 04:08 our part, for our part, yes, but we can't be 04:11 responsible for the whole thing. Right. And 04:13 you remember in the other program we talked 04:15 about detachment. Yes. It's a situation where 04:18 we get to the place where when our children 04:21 were up, were up, but when they're down 04:23 we're still up. What, right, oh! Yes. And you 04:26 know what I'm saying because if our lives are 04:29 gonna be like this, which is like their lives 04:31 or if their lives are like this and my 04:34 life is like that, how can I help so? You can't 04:36 Minister to them. Oh! And so, how can I pray that 04:39 God will help me in these uncertain you know, 04:43 lives of these young people to begin to 04:46 stabilize and to be able to get things kind 04:49 of in order? In this program we're gonna talk 04:52 about, power struggle, who is in charge? Yeah, 04:54 okay. You know about you know power struggles 04:55 that we have and, and I said you before the 04:59 program you remember I said, no when I'm talking 05:01 about being a granddad I don't think I'm talking 05:04 about you yet. No. But if I'm talking about power 05:07 struggles, right, you've a couple of daughters. 05:10 I, I understand. And from the time they're 05:12 teens and maybe even way down below that 05:16 I was telling one of those staff here at 3ABN 05:20 who is expecting a baby, and I said, you know we 05:23 think of children as being innocent. You know 05:25 the little innocent baby and I was talking with 05:28 a father who had a two year-old baby and that 05:31 he said, one day that little boy was in the 05:33 highchair, yes, and he had a bowl of cereal 05:38 in front of him, 2 years old. He says that little 05:40 boy looked me in the eye and started pushing 05:43 that cereal pull of the edge. I mean innocent 05:46 right see, but there's that little struggle 05:49 that starts I think from the very. Oh! Yes. 05:51 From the very early stage. Oh! I think it's 05:53 much; yes it's much further down than two 05:55 years before the age of one you can see them. 05:58 They're, they're little personalities, if you, 06:00 yes, if you'll look further, if you 06:01 understand what you're looking for? I think we 06:04 need to understand and not make them, oh! How 06:07 can I say this? Too innocent. We need to 06:10 understand our selfish natures. I think we do 06:12 and as parents we're trying to steer them 06:16 away from that. Yes. And of course I think 06:18 in our programs we're trying to say that if 06:20 we're going to steer our children in the right 06:22 direction, we have to be kind of you know, 06:24 sort of steady as she goes ourselves, steady 06:27 alright, and that's not easy because you know; 06:30 we want parents before, in other words you can't 06:32 get experience being a parent when you, until 06:35 it's all of the job training. Right, right. 06:36 And I don't know, if you've ever 06:38 considered it, but no two children, no two 06:43 children are born into the same family. Have 06:45 you ever thought about that? I heard you say 06:47 that and I got to thinking about it and I 06:49 did finally understand it after reading some 06:52 of your book, but. but see Sarah was born 06:55 to Kathy and Tom, right, who have no children. 06:58 Right. But then Rachel is born, Rachel is born 07:01 with the older sister. With an older sister and 07:04 parents a little you know, further to several 07:05 years later. Right. And so, we're not in the 07:08 same family, so now all that is one family. 07:11 Each one of us is different and we've 07:13 coming in a different time. So, isn't it a 07:15 different dynamic? Well, anyway that the power 07:19 struggle that we have and as the children get 07:21 a little older this people actually begin to 07:23 manifest itself. I had, had did I say, one 07:28 of my children was a strong real child you 07:31 know, you've heard Dorsey talking about 07:32 that this normal child. Yes and many others. 07:34 I can tell you that when I would set punish her 07:38 for something. I end up crying. She would 07:44 be sitting, this little girl is sitting just as 07:45 you know, this right side and I've cried you see. 07:49 She was just you know, infact she's told me 07:51 since then. She's 40 years old. She said 07:54 daddy I just you know I just dug in and I'm 07:58 crying and say and you've that, and then, 08:01 in some of them, and then in another child, 08:03 might be other different sense of nature, it 08:05 totally would say daddy I love you, I love you and 08:08 you can't be disappointing very very 08:10 much or very hard to the child, who is saying 08:13 daddy I love you, I love you and for the other 08:14 one is going like this. Yes, it's a different 08:17 dynamic. But anyway I've been telling you 08:21 about my younger son, who I love so much 08:26 and who is the father of three children. And 08:28 he loves me and he is the one that said daddy I 08:32 wasn't your fault. It was me. I was selfish. 08:35 And he was the one who was into the drugs, 08:37 and the alcoholism and so forth and it was like he 08:42 was dead, it was like the little boy that I knew. 08:45 He was gone and he was just big, handsome 08:48 muscle man but he taking drugs and he is living 08:52 a completely different life, and but anyway I 08:55 tell you a story. I don't when this happened in 08:58 the stream of things because it all kind of 09:01 blurs out that's not important. Right. 09:03 You know some people say when they get to 09:04 heaven they want to ask David about this and 09:06 Daniel about that, I think I want to forget 09:09 it. I don't think I want to do that glad thing 09:12 anymore, that's too gruesome and maybe 09:15 that's what it means when it says that the 09:17 former things will not enter into mind. Yes. 09:19 If it's that's the past now. Why bring it up 09:22 again? And so therefore when I tell you these 09:24 little stories, I don't mull on these stories. 09:25 These stories are reality. They really 09:27 happened to Betty and me but I don't think 09:31 about them because we've got a persona 09:34 toward the mark of the high calling of God and 09:36 Christ Jesus. Yes. But for the sake of helping 09:39 somebody else to understand. Or because 09:41 we're supposed to comfort each other because 09:43 though I can tell a story of healing, how 09:47 God healed my boy, there are others who are right 09:50 now as they watch this program right in 09:52 the middle of it and they're just been torn 09:55 by it. So I'm here to say there's hope. Amen. 09:58 There's hope. Well, I'm glad to that and did 10:00 I retake this corny, this is corny. You know 10:02 I do this once in awhile, this corny little things, 10:03 this person who said, I feel so much better now 10:07 they've given up hope. Oh, now I shouldn't 10:12 even say that but again you will hear me say 10:15 sometimes, sometimes we have to laugh because 10:19 when we laugh it means there is hope. It's when 10:22 I stop laughing and I just fall in on myself 10:26 and hope is gone. And hope is gone you see. 10:28 So when we tell a little story on ourselves 10:31 once in a while, it's not because it's funny 10:34 because it really isn't. No. But this because 10:36 we think that there's something beyond it. 10:39 And that's what we need. Yeah, we can't 10:41 give up hope but anyway. I don't know 10:44 when it was, but he was still living at home 10:49 and I told the four children, two of them as 10:53 they were coming up were neat as a pen, 10:56 I mean kept their rooms really nice, two others, 11:00 aha, and you know infact their room was kind 11:04 of like a boar's nest, just like a pig pad. 11:08 Just a pig pad you know. Now they did dressed 11:12 that way and you know I don't know if our 11:14 viewers have had this experience where 11:15 your teen or your young just dressed, you 11:19 know just so fancy but the room yuck you know. 11:22 How do they come out of that? And they 11:26 go to that stage they pull the shades you 11:28 know they put the blanks up, when you open the 11:30 door the room is dark, you know and it's got 11:32 all the stuff around and then it's just, well 11:34 anyway I've this little philosophy and that 11:39 is that my child's room is not his, it's mine. 11:43 We could get into it, like I did. Yes I know 11:45 yes. And Betty and I were there. Well I'm 11:48 glad you're saying that. Betty I were there 11:50 before they got there and we're gonna 11:52 be there after they're gone. They're welcome 11:54 members to the family. Absolutely but anyway 11:59 we're kind. But we're the family. We're kind of 12:01 loaning them their rooms say. Yes. Well anyway 12:04 here are Daniel is with all. We're giving a lot 12:06 of argument about that but go ahead. No, 12:09 but I think that this is gonna come up in 12:11 this program and that is the issue of respect. 12:14 The issue of respect but anyway the room was 12:17 a mess and so I said to them, I said that 12:21 please clean the room and of course we always 12:24 got along. So, we're not talking about a five year 12:26 old or a ten year old, are we? Oh no we're 12:29 talking about 18 year old. When you're saying 12:30 this you're talking about an 18 year old. 12:31 An 18 year old and so I just say matter of fact, 12:33 Dan clean your room it looks like a boy's nest. 12:35 You know it just and it's by the way I don't like, 12:38 I believe in privacy but you know when you. 12:41 When you've a house were all the doors are 12:44 closed, you know it shrinks the square 12:46 footage. Did you see I live in a joint a house 12:49 but it seems like this because everybody 12:51 is got the door closed? So under normal 12:53 circumstances. It's nice to have the doors open 12:55 and of course these kids you know they live in 12:56 a boars nest close the door. And they close 12:58 the door. So anyway, anyway I said to him 13:04 clean your room and of course being you know 13:07 a nice guy he said all right. That's the good 13:10 news and hear the bad news. He didn't do 13:12 that. Didn't clean his room and so I didn't go 13:16 crazy or anything and I just said the next 13:18 day, please clean the room and he said, hey 13:23 daddy please do it. And he said alright, 13:25 I said please clean your room. Alright, 13:27 I'll do it and that's the good news. Bad news 13:31 he still didn't clean his room. And so now by the 13:35 third day it's getting a little tight, I'm saying 13:39 honey I want you to clean your room see 13:43 and now so now that thing is beginning 13:44 to change before it was about cleaning room. 13:47 Now we're getting into who's in-charge here. 13:49 It's beginning to be a power struggle and 13:53 then instead of doping kind of relax now, I'm 13:55 getting a little tight and you know when we 13:58 get tight the kids get tighter, when the kids 14:00 get tighter we get tighter and so. So the 14:01 situation is changing. If the parents are happy, 14:04 ain't nobody happy. I could have said that in 14:08 another way but I didn't want to, you 14:09 probably heard. Well I've seen this little signs. 14:11 Mom's not happy. If mom's not happy nobody 14:12 is happy. Yeah, right. So anyway I could see 14:15 then that we were getting off to subject. 14:18 Yes. Where we're getting into, who's in 14:20 charge here, a power struggle. It just had 14:23 changed. They had changed but then I thank 14:26 God you know I'm just thankful to God's not 14:28 finished with this yet. Amen I'm, I'm. Because 14:30 while I've a son who I'm trying to raise is 14:33 I'm God's son, he's to raise me. Right. Is that 14:36 the way to it. Yes, yes. And I want to be 14:37 though a kind of a son where you can say, 14:40 you know there's that. Well done. And I'm not 14:42 finished with it yet, I'm not finished 14:44 with him yet, I'm not finished with him yet. 14:45 Oh. But he is my beloved son and in whom 14:46 I'll please, please coming along. He is 14:48 coming along, anyway there I was and things 14:51 were getting tighten. So I had to decide 14:53 them because I was becoming a two time 14:55 looser. I still had the messy room. Oh yes. 15:00 But now my relationship with my boys 15:02 going bad. What am I going to do? And you'd 15:05 already has these other background issues right? 15:07 Well of course because you know that's all. 15:09 Things that we already talked. That's all part 15:11 of the problem. Well this is not just about 15:13 cleaning the room. Well no hardly. It's more 15:16 serious so but I had to make a decision in 15:18 and I had to decide whether I was going 15:21 to have a messy room and then have 15:23 my relationship with my boy really go bad. 15:26 Then I lost everything, so you know what I 15:29 decided to do? I decided. You go there. I would 15:32 clean the room, now I know some people could 15:35 say. Well you just lost; you lost your influence, 15:38 that shows that you're not in charge. You know 15:41 sometimes you've, if you're going to win the 15:43 war. You've to loose the battle once in a while 15:46 and so I lost that battle and so I went and clean 15:50 the room. And so he comes home, his room is all 15:52 clean. I didn't say anything, I just cleaned 15:55 the room. I thought that at least, at least 15:57 the door was open and you know it wasn't 15:58 a public health hazard. Obviously this was 16:00 very meaningful to you to do that. Well of 16:02 course. To get that done. Well of course doesn't 16:04 the scripture says something about the 16:05 greatest among you is gonna have to be servant 16:07 like. And anyway I cleaned the room and I 16:12 think cleaned it two days guess what? 16:15 The third day I went in to clean it, he had 16:17 cleaned it and I don't if he cleaned 16:21 it two days in a row maybe I had to clean it 16:23 again but what happened was he began 16:25 to clean it. So we weren't struggling 16:28 to see who is in charge now in other words 16:30 my leadership was not by, was not by, 16:32 you throwing my weight around, right. 16:34 But I was doing the example now Maybe 16:37 that wouldn't always work but what if he have 16:40 never cleaned his room. At least I was still 16:43 talking with him at least we still had a 16:46 relationship. I would have been humiliated 16:48 because I'm cleaning the room but I wouldn't 16:50 have that in my head all the time. Which one 16:52 enabling in him, enabling him. Well I was 16:54 just. Just go ahead and take advantage of it. 16:56 I think you know what because you see I 16:57 was making the choice. I was in control 16:59 because I was having to choose between 17:02 whether I was gonna have the messy room 17:03 or loose my ability to communicate. And see 17:08 I think sometimes we have to, we have to 17:11 decide which of these evils are we gonna 17:13 choose. Right. Because ideally he would have 17:16 obeyed me and every thing would have been 17:18 cool isn't it. Because of all the other background 17:20 you wanted to keep that communication open. 17:21 I want to keep it open. And so I, so I think 17:25 that this is important that we know when 17:28 to stay and when to fall back, other words we 17:31 shouldn't fight it every bridge. There's another 17:34 issue that comes up in with having teens 17:38 and young people and that's the issue of 17:41 respect. In my home, I didn't make a big deal 17:49 about music for example but music is a 17:52 little bit like smoking but you probably didn't 17:56 at that time have the kind of music that 17:58 we're dealing with right now. Well remember 18:00 in every age has it's music. Well, yes that's 18:02 true. It means we didn't have rap music but we 18:04 had so called, but I'll tell you what I did and 18:07 others may not agree it and I might say to our 18:10 viewing audience that my own story is not the 18:13 ideal story. It's not the book story, it's 18:16 a story. That's what you did. And it's what I 18:19 did and it might not have been the best way 18:21 to do it but anyway. You know I didn't say to 18:24 my children for example you can't listen to 18:27 what ever kind of music is your special music. 18:29 But if you're gonna listento it that way 18:32 because music is not the environment in 18:34 usual put on the ear phones. I don't want to 18:37 hear it. Put on in ear phones, I don't think 18:39 we had any trouble on music but where we 18:42 did have a little crisis one time was when one 18:45 of my children came home with their living 18:48 boyfriend. We're talking about from a long way 18:52 away; we're talking about where you would have 18:54 to stay with mom and dad. And so Betty 18:58 and I had to discuss among our selves. Were 19:01 we going to let our child a sleep with her living 19:05 boyfriend? Now it's interesting that I 19:08 should mention that now because just last week 19:10 a parent came to me and said, what would you 19:13 do if your kids came to visit you and there's 19:17 a living boyfriend or girlfriend, would you let 19:19 them sleep together? Well I know what I'd do. 19:23 I said to them, I've been through that. 19:25 And we said no, because you see here's the way 19:30 I see it, that though our children may not 19:34 agree with our lifestyle. In other words they 19:36 may get to the place where they're gonna 19:39 do another lifestyle, but I think it's only 19:42 fair that they respect ours. Well that would be 19:44 only fair, yes. And I said to one of my 19:46 children one time because. They're 19:48 not always think of it. Well, and that's the 19:50 point she was kind of caring on, well mom 19:52 this, mom this, mom thing and I said honey I said 19:54 you feel the way you feel about things, 19:56 can't mom feel the way she feels? And she 20:00 thought a minute on the phone she says I never 20:02 thought of it before. And so I think it's 20:05 important than that respect is a two way 20:07 street that if my child wants me to respect 20:11 their convictions whatever they are. Then 20:15 I can stand up and say you know your mother 20:16 and I've our other convictions and we're 20:18 not gonna force this on you, but we have to 20:21 respect each other and so I can't say to my child 20:24 you can't listen to rock music or I can't 20:27 say you can't move in with your living. When 20:29 you say respect, you don't mean accept 20:32 necessarily do you? Well what can you do 20:34 about. Approve, approve. No that doesn't mean 20:36 approve but that means allow for that means 20:38 we're not going to just be banging about it. 20:40 We're just gonna say, you know we disagree all 20:42 this. You see I think that in raising our 20:45 children that we've got to understand 20:48 that we are weak at pretty well make their 20:50 decisions including their mould essential 20:51 for them as they were young. There comes a 20:53 time in which you can't do that anymore. 20:55 Do that any longer. That they kind of transfer 20:57 and they have to buy into it. Make it their 21:00 own. Make it their own and now sometimes 21:03 they'll do it right. You know let me tell you a 21:05 story what happened to me. I was raised in 21:08 a Minister's home and, and it wasn't, it 21:11 wasn't strict, but it was very orthodox, 21:12 but I didn't resented. Dad used to tear 21:15 up the funnies every Sunday. He tear them put 21:17 them in the garbage bag. I can remember 21:19 sometimes trying to glue back took and so 21:20 forth but I don't remember, I didn't 21:23 resented. Tom still does that. I'm sorry. But 21:26 I didn't resented and it was just part of life 21:28 but anyway when I went to college I you 21:33 know I'm aware I'm on my own now and I 21:35 can remember that I began to think I wonder 21:38 how though rest of the world lives. And I began 21:42 to fool around with not heavy duty stuff; 21:45 I can remember it eating my first hamburger, 21:47 I felt so powerful. You know, but you what I 21:51 mean because it was new. I was raised as a 21:53 vegetarian and I think it began to. You had 21:57 more. I don't remember, I think I was into fish 22:01 too but anyway I think I began to feel this 22:04 pressure and how does the other half live 22:07 and particularly what I've problems on Friday 22:10 night. On Friday night I wanted to leave the 22:13 church and go out and find out what was going 22:16 on, so this was building up I was studying for 22:18 the Ministry. I don't remember how old I was 22:21 seventeen or eighteen, I went to the Dean of Men, 22:24 Dean Lowen you know huge guy and I walked 22:27 to and I said Dean I'm fed up. I wanna go 22:31 out and see how the rest of the world lives. 22:34 Now I thank God for that guy, now you know 22:37 there are lots of things he could have said. 22:38 He could have come right above his chair, 22:39 he could have gone and you know done anything. 22:42 Don't do that, you can't do that, you better 22:43 not do that. He just said, he said go ahead, 22:49 ha no I mean I didn't say ha but I wasn't 22:53 expecting that. Well I've to say though that 22:55 in that time in your feelings for parental 22:59 and your respect for your parents that the 23:03 mindset could have been different for you than 23:05 lots of people today, oh it could, it would 23:07 be dangerous almost to just say okay go ahead. 23:09 Well and you're probably right but at that time 23:11 of my life and every time has it's God's 23:16 interventions. And you know when he said to 23:19 me, go ahead I turned around and walked 23:23 out and I talked to myself. I don't think 23:26 I'll but you know what he set me free, 23:29 see what he did and as I looked back on it 23:32 now that I was now buying into, see 23:35 suddenly I decided I was about to have my 23:37 first cup of coffee. I was getting all sighed 23:40 up for it and suddenly, sounds ridiculous, 23:43 you know these are the little things and 23:45 suddenly I thought I don't need that. 23:46 You know if I told somebody I drink coffee, 23:50 he'll look at me like I'm crazy. I think it's 23:53 really you know really more important to be 23:57 able to say I've never drunk a cup of coffee, 23:59 I think that's really more manly. So anyway 24:02 I'm exaggerating a little, but, but I had 24:04 to be set free. I had to be set free to 24:07 be a preset because I couldn't be mom 24:11 and dad all my life. And I think we as parents 24:14 a God's done this us he gives us our free 24:19 will, he sets us free, he doesn't. Now all though 24:22 he's got his will, he can say what ever you 24:24 sow, you reap we'll have to bear the 24:26 consequences of our wrong decisions 24:27 I think we have to get to the place where 24:30 we allow our children. To become who they're 24:35 gonna be. Yes, it's very hard to do. 24:37 Well it may not be who we will expect them 24:40 to be but it's got to be. It's frightening 24:42 to see it happen. Well and we're taking a risk 24:45 but the minute that God gives us our free will. 24:48 He took a huge risk but isn't it our free will 24:54 that makes us a person. You know human being 24:59 is we're not learn instinct, they say that 25:02 human being has only one or two instincts 25:04 these boy with. Every thing else is about 25:07 learning. Choice. It's about choice and so it's 25:11 pretty hard to set steer to watch the teenager 25:15 begin to choose. Oh we're not talking about 25:19 choosing when they're three and four; 25:21 we're talking about heavy duty choices as 25:25 we get older. Except along the way, we're 25:28 giving them guidelines for choices. Well yes, 25:30 yes. And now I'm not saying, well that's our 25:32 duty. Well you know some people say that we 25:35 should reason with our children when they're 25:37 little tiny people, but there's a problem with 25:39 that because if. Certainly it is. If the 25:40 child has to ask daddy why, why, why, I loose 25:43 authority. I become accountable with child. 25:45 Well there is more than one reason to 25:47 ask why. I mean there is the why of curiosity. 25:50 That's right. There is the sign that you know 25:52 the why of comprehension and then 25:54 there is why of challenge. Yeah a 25:55 challenge. And that's the one you're 25:56 talking about. And that's the one I am 25:57 taking about. So I thank God that He allowed me 26:01 to pass through that point and that there 26:04 was the Dean of men who maybe he didn't 26:06 say the right thing but at least, that's what 26:08 I needed to hear and you know what I've even 26:12 done it and maybe we could as the program 26:14 comes to a close, we can threw this thought 26:16 out. I cannot impose my morals on my 26:19 grandchildren. But sometimes, somewhere 26:23 along the line, I learned that I can say to my 26:25 son's and daughters, honey you may see at 26:27 a different way but when you're around 26:30 mommy and daddy. I know you love us. Right. 26:33 So when you're around us let's do it this way 26:35 and you see though their relation with God 26:38 may not be real tight at that moment, 26:40 the relationship with me is one of respect. 26:42 So I don't have to call. Well if you do that you 26:45 don't love Jesus. No I know you love me. 26:48 So I'm gonna call on you to respect me and 26:51 to go along with what I'm suggesting when 26:54 you're with me. Right and that can even help 26:55 them to come along to might be choose later 26:58 if they begin to respect yours. Yeah I think 27:01 it's necessary. Yeah, well our time is already 27:04 out. It's already on, it's gone so fast. 27:05 It does I need to just talk to you about coming 27:10 back again. I know well you're going to do that. 27:12 Yeah I'll do it. We need to what's next title 27:15 do you know? I don't remember. You don't 27:16 remember it? No but I'll be back. We're gonna 27:19 have to, okay yeah. But we'll continue in a story 27:20 about having adult children and young 27:24 adults and what if we as parents and 27:26 grandparents gonna do about that. Okay, 27:27 alright. Well then let's have prayer together 27:29 but before that I want to invite you to come back 27:31 again and join us on Thinking About Home. 27:34 Dick will you've prayer with us. Heavenly 27:36 Father we're thankful Lord that you've 27:38 given us the power of choice and Lord it's 27:42 hard to see our children make their choices 27:44 because often not what we've chosen but help 27:47 us to be patient. Lord as you're patient with us. 27:50 We're thankful that you made us and that 27:54 we can be parents, save our children 27:58 Lord in Jesus name. Amen |
Revised 2014-12-17