Welcome to Thinking About Home.
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I'm Kathy Matthews
and I am glad you are
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back with us.
Today our guest is Pastor
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Richard O'Ffill from
the Florida Conference
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and I want to
welcome you again Dick.
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Kathy I am glad to
be back. We have so much
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fun last time I think
it was, time to do some
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more what do you
think. We enjoy each other's
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company don't we?
I do, I do I like to
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talking to you. I
enjoy your thoughts and
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the depths of
things that you talk about.
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You know, how I did
last time, I began by talking
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about the trailer
that starts the program.
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And I think I asked
you that was a picture
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of you and Tom when
you first got married.
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Oh! Yeah I remember
that. Well I won't say
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that this time, it's
not, no, but when I see
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pictures like this of
the marriages and the joy
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that goes with it.
And I think I remember
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when Betty and
I were married and
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you know I use, I was
a 19, she was 20 would
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you believe it,
well yes, by the way our
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anniversary in June,
when is yours? In April,
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in April and I
was 17 and Tom was 20.
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We were only
child brides, don't we?
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I don't recommend that
to anyone really I don't.
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Well anyway, I as I
watched that I thought,
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when we stand before
the preacher and he says
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do you promise to
love honor and cherish
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in sickness and in
health, for better for worse,
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and we say yes of
course whatever you know
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because we don't have
a clue what that means,
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really, you know
especially for better for
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worse because we
can't conceive of what
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it might be.
Right, you are so nervous;
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you can't even think
what's to being said.
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Yeah, you know there
was a wedding one time
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and someone said
well you weren't there,
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and I said well they
don't know I wasn't there.
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You mean mentally. I
wasn't there physically,
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but I don't think the
bride and the groom notice
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it there anyway, okay.
But anyway, how thankful
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we are for our homes
and, right, and for our
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marriages and, and I
am so thankful that God
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brought into my life
a girl and she has been
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so precious to me. But
you know Kathy you know
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we have a tremendous
burden on our hearts,
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so what's going
on in the world, yes,
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and what's going on
in the society and even
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what's going on in the church.
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But I thought to
myself you know probably
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what's going on in
the world and society
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and even in the church
is really about what's going
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on in our home, of
course it is that's what,
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that's what makes
it all up isn't it.
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Well because the home
is the bases for everything
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and sometimes when I
preach being a grandfather
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and by the way I
have eight grandchildren.
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Oh! You beat me, I don't any.
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Well listen, well
I'll take that back there
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is a couple we started
with and they have a little
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boy so we
consider him a grandchild.
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This is sort of an
adopted grandchild.
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But, though we are
not all grand parents,
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or neither are we parents,
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we are all
children, yes, can't deny.
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And some times
I'll ask a congregation,
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I'll say how many
grandparents are here
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and some will raise
their hands and then I'll say
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how many parents are
here and then of course
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you know some
others are putting,
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and then I say how many
children and then the kids
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put their hands, and I
say wait a minute everybody
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should put their
hands up. Yes right because
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we're all children,
because we're all children,
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right. But, I have a
real burden as a minister
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of the gospel you
know we preach the big,
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big ideas and big thoughts,
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but I am
starting to think smaller,
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maybe I am thinking
bigger because I think
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if we are gonna
preach and talk about things
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that are really
relevant these days we need
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to talk about our
homes. That's painful though,
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but it's too hard to
talk about, don't you think?
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You know, you know
I read, I read right,
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I wrote a book entitled
Lord, Keep Your Mansions,
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Just Save Our
Children. I thought that was an
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interesting title.
Wasn't it something?
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Well, I guess when
I first saw the title
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the Lord Keep Your
Mansions isn't that
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a little irrelevant, or
I don't want to go there,
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or what did you
mean by that? Well,
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that title comes
from prayer that I prayed
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and you know Jesus
said I'm gonna prepare
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mansions for you and
another place we read
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about crowns He has prepared
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and so I prayed it, and
it does sound so irrelevant.
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See I really
don't need a mansion,
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now don't
misunderstand me you say well,
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you must be really rich.
I know, I have a roof over
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my head, I know,
and indoor plumbing
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and you know, some
people may take exception
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for you to say that
you don't really need
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a mansion, but I've
got a place to live and,
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and when I say
Lord keep your mansions
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I am saying Lord really
what I want about heaven,
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is not the mansion
or the crown, I want,
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I want you to
save my children, amen.
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That's the heart cry isn't it?
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This is the heart
cry, Betty and I have four
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children and
eight grandchildren.
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And, I wish I can say
that they were all ministers
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and Bible
workers, but its not true.
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And, you know you
get all kinds of feelings
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you now when you are
parenting and it's not
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turned out according
to the book. I rejoice,
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when I hear someone
say you know my sons
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some kind of a
successful you know something
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or other maybe a
doctor or has a business
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or maybe he is even in
construction but he loves
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the Lord, and he is
the elder in the church
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and you know what do
you do if, if its not that
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way you know, your
kids aren't, maybe your kids
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aren't even in
the church or they've,
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they've been you
know maybe taking drugs.
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Can I tell you a
story? Well I wanted
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you to tell me, I
want you to tell me this,
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I don't know where
you are going exactly
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at this moment, but
the story in the book what
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I wanted to know about
because it made me hurt
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so much was the
New Year's Eve night
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that you were so disturbed.
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Let me give you
background for that.
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It was our youngest
child, is there were you going,
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or you were
going somewhere else.
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I am going there no I
got, that's where I go
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because the book is
about that its starts
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there, yeah. But I
should give you bit of a
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background my
youngest son came home from
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school one day and he
started lifting weights,
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I had pair of old
sears weights or something
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on the back pouch, I
mean you can see I am not
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a muscle man. But I
had bear to the exercise
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I thought weights were
something you did exercise
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you know, and to get
you know but I didn't know
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that for a lot of
people lifting weights are not
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about to you know
getting muscles it's about
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being beautiful, yes,
and that's why when you go
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to these body
building places sometimes,
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they shave their body,
well they shave their body
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and they put
mirrors around, I remember,
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I know about that,
it's incredible. And so,
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and so as I watched my
son you know take these
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little cheap weights,
and he began to push them
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you know up and I
notice he looked at himself
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in mirror when he did
that and it had a funny
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feeling because I
thought it was about I'm gonna
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you know but it was
about look at my muscles.
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And then somebody
told my boy that he would
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take steroids it
would save him some trouble,
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oh really. And so
unknown to us he began to take
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steroids and of course
he began to just really
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blossom out and
you know 6 foot 2
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and very good looking
and pretty soon wearing
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the tone shirts and big
old muscles sticking out.
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My life began to
change, and I realize that,
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that my boy was
becoming an addict,
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and at that point
I did know how bad
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it would get, it seem
like it was only steroids
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but that can be
just kind of entry I mean
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entry thing. And so
when you ask me this story
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of something on New
Year's night that's down
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the road
considerably, from this point,
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yeah from the
background, background.
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And, so now I had,
I had confronted him,
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his mother and I confronted him,
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and said you know we
think you are a drug addict
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because he was
fooling with other things too,
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and you know when this
begins to happen to you,
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you have all kinds of
feeling, I began to read
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everything I could
get you know, you say how
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do I get a hold of
this, how do I control this,
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yes, and you know what
list of things can I do it
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and I tried everything
I could do. He was not a
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little boy anymore.
He is not a little boy,
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and he is not working
see, and so I am sitting
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on the back porch
what we call slaughter room
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and its New Year's
Eve in Florida you know
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that's not a
blizzard. No it's not Florida.
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It was pretty nice
then, and but I am sitting
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there and
preaching, and I began to cry
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hysterically.
And, and I realize that
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I was loosing it,
because here I was trying
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to control his life, and
I was going out of control,
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yeah, and so it was
kind of like I was catching
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quite it was, I
wasn't taking steroids but
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emotionally I was really
going, really going weak.
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And, then I remember
when somebody told me that
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there is an organization
for people like that
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and it's called Al-Anon
if you ever heard of that.
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I've heard of it yes.
And now, I suppose everybody
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has heard of it
Al-Anon which is alcoholic
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synonymous or maybe
even narcotic synonymous NA,
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that's for the addicts in sense.
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And Al-Anon is not alcozolic;
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Al-Anon is for the
families you see, and so,
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I went to the phone
and, that day, well right
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then I mean I was in
big trouble, and I called AA
00:10:00.59\00:10:05.35
and of course
they are really nice,
00:10:05.36\00:10:06.96
and what I wanted to
know is where is the nearest
00:10:07.47\00:10:09.76
to me where is the
nearest meeting because
00:10:09.77\00:10:11.54
I didn't know what
it was gonna be like,
00:10:11.55\00:10:12.65
but I knew I had to
have something you know
00:10:13.06\00:10:14.94
some help, right. You
know I'd have to say now
00:10:14.95\00:10:17.72
and I can say this
looking back that Betty wasn't
00:10:17.73\00:10:21.40
going through what I
was going through. Well,
00:10:21.41\00:10:23.24
she suffers in a
different way, what do you mean,
00:10:23.25\00:10:24.76
alright. She suffers
this all inside you see,
00:10:24.77\00:10:27.56
and so when I
suffer, I suffer all outside
00:10:27.57\00:10:29.82
you know I tell people
I say when I get a cold,
00:10:30.18\00:10:32.46
the whole office, the
whole office knows I got
00:10:32.47\00:10:34.13
a cold. And so, I
can't suffer quietly
00:10:34.14\00:10:37.90
and does so I had to
have help, I had to have help.
00:10:38.73\00:10:41.61
Well, we
discovered where the meetings
00:10:42.16\00:10:44.97
were gonna be, I
started going every night
00:10:44.98\00:10:46.90
that now you know
I remember it good
00:10:47.59\00:10:49.19
regularly standing
there, they only go once
00:10:49.20\00:10:50.99
a week, but I had
to go every night,
00:10:51.00\00:10:53.01
you were feeling
desperate I think,
00:10:53.02\00:10:54.10
oh I was desperate,
but I am so glad I did,
00:10:54.11\00:10:56.21
I am so glad I did. It
gave you a lot of help.
00:10:56.22\00:10:58.64
Oh! It just was incredible
now you walk into room
00:10:58.65\00:11:01.44
and there is maybe 25
people sitting in there,
00:11:01.45\00:11:04.21
they don't know you
from Adams, so you could say
00:11:04.75\00:11:07.30
to person well I'm
going in there though really,
00:11:07.31\00:11:09.61
they don't know you
from Adam, really they don't
00:11:09.62\00:11:11.49
care who you are,
really all they care is that
00:11:11.50\00:11:14.05
you know we are all
in the same boat, right.
00:11:14.06\00:11:15.82
In fact, this is
not like group therapy
00:11:16.25\00:11:18.40
or anything. Well no I
think it is a little bit,
00:11:18.41\00:11:20.95
but you walk in and
then you say my name is Dick
00:11:21.46\00:11:23.62
and everybody says
hello Dick you know
00:11:23.63\00:11:25.48
and then they've have a
program a little program.
00:11:25.90\00:11:28.23
The thing I loved about
it is that you see the group
00:11:29.01\00:11:33.00
around that table is
somebody who is going
00:11:33.01\00:11:36.01
through what you
are going through.
00:11:36.02\00:11:37.22
Right, but they
weren't pouring out all of that
00:11:37.23\00:11:39.73
where they, not to
do some details you see
00:11:39.74\00:11:42.02
because I
remember, I remember one time
00:11:42.03\00:11:44.83
you know a lady said
she was talking about her
00:11:44.84\00:11:47.68
husband and she
said people tell me
00:11:47.69\00:11:49.07
I had to divorce to
my husband, I know what's
00:11:49.08\00:11:51.78
that I've always got
option but I am not coming
00:11:51.79\00:11:54.87
here to talk about my
husband, I am coming here
00:11:54.88\00:11:56.79
to talk about me and
that's what I really like,
00:11:56.80\00:11:59.72
because and I think
it has so much meaning
00:11:59.73\00:12:02.86
when we think of our
children is that hey,
00:12:02.87\00:12:05.26
we can't do much about
our children, our children
00:12:05.27\00:12:07.19
who they are, but the
question is what can I do
00:12:07.20\00:12:09.31
about me, what do
you do when your kids
00:12:09.32\00:12:12.17
are taking drugs.
Now these were obviously
00:12:12.18\00:12:13.93
when your children
are much older and you can
00:12:13.94\00:12:15.98
no longer do what you
did when they were just
00:12:15.99\00:12:17.92
little children.
You mean like just say
00:12:17.93\00:12:19.97
don't do that,
yes, exactly right,
00:12:19.98\00:12:22.61
and so it's not about
our children in that we can
00:12:23.04\00:12:25.58
just make them
obey or get them to obey
00:12:26.01\00:12:28.36
or bring them under
control, it's dealing
00:12:28.37\00:12:32.12
with it when it's way
out of your hands anymore.
00:12:32.13\00:12:34.67
You know I probably
shared this with you
00:12:34.68\00:12:37.37
before it's kind of
joke I made up and I told
00:12:37.38\00:12:41.41
people I said when
my children were about
00:12:41.42\00:12:43.92
this big I had a
sermon I preach call
00:12:43.93\00:12:46.62
the Ten Commandments
for raising children,
00:12:47.05\00:12:48.86
oh yes, and then when
they got about you know
00:12:48.87\00:12:51.43
so big I change
the title that sermon,
00:12:51.44\00:12:54.03
ten suggestion
for raising children.
00:12:54.04\00:12:55.84
You know what the sermon is now,
00:12:56.76\00:12:57.82
ten questions I have
about raising children,
00:12:58.28\00:13:01.98
everything changes even
they are little you know
00:13:02.52\00:13:04.32
we know at all, but
when they get to be big
00:13:04.33\00:13:06.27
you know it's
not that way anymore.
00:13:06.28\00:13:08.36
Anyway here I am,
believe it or not the
00:13:09.02\00:13:12.35
health and
temperance director of the
00:13:12.90\00:13:14.63
Florida Conference,
and my boy is taking drugs.
00:13:14.64\00:13:17.76
Go through your mind a
great deal, causing some
00:13:18.71\00:13:20.93
pain and embarrassment.
Well you see these of
00:13:20.94\00:13:23.52
the kinds of things
I think we want to talk
00:13:23.53\00:13:25.02
to in this series
is to what do you do it
00:13:25.03\00:13:27.66
and I think that the
natural tendency that
00:13:28.05\00:13:30.44
we all have is to
say I don't want anybody
00:13:30.45\00:13:32.75
to know, because I
am probably the one
00:13:32.76\00:13:35.36
and so I hide it, and I
think that it's a mistake
00:13:35.88\00:13:42.58
because Kathy in the
first place we are not the
00:13:43.74\00:13:46.64
only one, yeah, and I
think in the church not that,
00:13:46.65\00:13:51.10
it may not be the
same you know you can't say
00:13:51.11\00:13:53.36
everybody in the church's
has got kids taking drugs,
00:13:53.37\00:13:56.34
but I think
everybody in the church now is
00:13:56.92\00:13:59.56
hurting in some
ways, in some way,
00:13:59.57\00:14:01.18
don't you think so, oh
yes I do, I don't run into
00:14:01.19\00:14:03.79
anyone who isn't in someway.
00:14:03.80\00:14:05.14
And now I know some
people will say well
00:14:05.15\00:14:07.07
if we're hearting
it's because so much wrong
00:14:07.85\00:14:11.14
with us if we were
just following the gospel
00:14:11.15\00:14:13.16
or doing everything
the way it should be done,
00:14:13.17\00:14:15.61
right, we
wouldn't have any problems,
00:14:15.96\00:14:17.84
but Kathy Jesus was
here amongst us doing
00:14:18.75\00:14:24.08
everything the way it
was suppose to be done,
00:14:24.09\00:14:26.66
suppose to be done
yes and guess who had
00:14:26.67\00:14:28.08
problems. Despised
and rejected by men,
00:14:28.09\00:14:31.44
a man of sorrow, and
acquainted with grief
00:14:31.45\00:14:33.49
finally betrayed murdered.
00:14:33.50\00:14:35.46
He did it the way it
was suppose to be done,
00:14:36.01\00:14:37.71
and so I think as
parents you know we got this
00:14:38.21\00:14:41.03
ideal and we must have an ideal.
00:14:41.04\00:14:43.13
Well some may say
that well Jesus was opposed
00:14:43.50\00:14:45.94
because He did at
all right, we are opposed
00:14:45.95\00:14:48.55
because we do too
many things wrong,
00:14:48.56\00:14:50.27
what do you think of that?
00:14:50.84\00:14:51.81
Sure, well sure what am
I suppose to say to that.
00:14:53.59\00:14:55.65
Well no I
suppose that to be honest
00:14:55.98\00:14:58.35
there is no doubt
that what we sow we reap,
00:14:58.93\00:15:01.13
that life is a
causing effect situation
00:15:02.05\00:15:05.57
and I think we'll
talk about this in other
00:15:07.19\00:15:08.49
programs that if I
had my life to live again,
00:15:08.50\00:15:11.01
yes, I want to
live differently, right,
00:15:11.02\00:15:12.72
but I can't think
looking back on it I can't think
00:15:12.73\00:15:15.61
of ever waking up in
the morning saying I think
00:15:15.62\00:15:18.08
I want to do it wrong
today I think I want to
00:15:18.09\00:15:20.25
mess up my kids life,
I think I am I want them
00:15:20.26\00:15:22.38
to be drug addicts,
no, no we are just dealing
00:15:22.39\00:15:25.10
with ourselves and growing,
00:15:25.11\00:15:26.77
and we were never
parents before and I think
00:15:26.80\00:15:30.26
Kathy one of the
really important things
00:15:30.27\00:15:32.52
that those who were
been to experiences like
00:15:32.53\00:15:35.46
I am going through,
yes, yes, it's not the same,
00:15:36.57\00:15:39.33
it's not the same
but it's other stuff.
00:15:39.34\00:15:41.54
Sometimes Betty and
I when we talk we say
00:15:42.76\00:15:44.36
how thankful we are
that our children don't have
00:15:45.09\00:15:47.43
physical disabilities,
or the disability in our
00:15:47.44\00:15:50.39
family if it's not
drug addiction anymore
00:15:50.40\00:15:53.36
because we got past
that, but it's divorce.
00:15:53.37\00:15:56.14
It's divorce and
with all the grandchildren
00:15:56.82\00:15:59.73
and all that sometimes
you say oh God, so painful,
00:15:59.74\00:16:02.92
oh God you know keep
your mansions you know
00:16:02.93\00:16:05.93
because I think when
we are younger we give
00:16:05.94\00:16:09.06
the focus in our lives
to I want to get a little
00:16:09.07\00:16:12.50
business or I want
to be a success in my
00:16:12.51\00:16:15.41
profession, or I
want to get two cars
00:16:15.42\00:16:17.91
or I want to have
a boat or you know
00:16:17.92\00:16:19.42
whatever it is, and
our kids are just kind
00:16:19.43\00:16:21.49
of growing up you
know and then one day,
00:16:21.50\00:16:24.62
we protect them too much,
00:16:24.63\00:16:25.68
because its the way
it is, too often it is.
00:16:26.00\00:16:28.61
And so, the one day
you get to the point
00:16:29.47\00:16:31.83
in your life and you
will say you know all that
00:16:31.84\00:16:33.47
really matters is my children.
00:16:33.48\00:16:35.26
And we learn too
late most of the time.
00:16:35.64\00:16:39.22
Too late or too late
to live our lives again.
00:16:39.23\00:16:41.94
Yes, well but that's
what I mean by too late.
00:16:41.95\00:16:44.84
Well, it's not
too late its change.
00:16:45.50\00:16:49.40
Its never too late,
it's never too late.
00:16:49.41\00:16:50.74
Now let me tell you
one day it was really
00:16:51.08\00:16:57.21
in the morning
and I don't know why,
00:16:57.22\00:17:00.07
I guess I saw a
light under my son's door
00:17:00.08\00:17:02.07
and I think if he is
up you know at 5 O' clock
00:17:03.15\00:17:06.43
in the morning and
that's when we were having
00:17:06.44\00:17:09.05
problems with drugs and
all, and so I went outside
00:17:09.06\00:17:13.21
and it was still dark
the sun wasn't up yet,
00:17:13.63\00:17:15.64
and where I could
look in his window you know
00:17:16.31\00:17:18.03
kind of clean dust
you know you see perhaps
00:17:18.04\00:17:19.84
it must have been a
spooky place, but I looked
00:17:19.85\00:17:22.34
in the window and he
was laying on the bed
00:17:22.35\00:17:23.82
on his elbows he
had ear phones on
00:17:24.12\00:17:26.22
and seem to be
reading and for a flash,
00:17:26.23\00:17:29.36
for a flash I thought
he is having his devotions,
00:17:29.37\00:17:32.30
yes, until I saw him
flick a cigarette lighter
00:17:32.42\00:17:35.87
and then I knew
he was doing crack,
00:17:35.88\00:17:38.24
a crack cocaine
and. Did you feel like
00:17:40.34\00:17:42.57
at that moment? And
that's where I'm leading
00:17:42.58\00:17:44.94
up to, I saw I think
I would rather have him
00:17:44.95\00:17:48.85
dead that what I
am seeing here because
00:17:48.86\00:17:51.48
you know you hear these
stories about this being
00:17:51.49\00:17:54.01
a living death and
just with that minute
00:17:54.02\00:17:56.20
I thought oh if he
was dead I wouldn't have
00:17:56.21\00:17:58.32
been going through this
I mean that's your reaction
00:17:58.33\00:18:00.68
you know, but how
thankful I am because
00:18:00.69\00:18:04.35
in death there isn't
no hope, it's finished
00:18:04.36\00:18:06.79
it's closed, but as
long as he is alive there
00:18:06.80\00:18:08.53
is hope, with his life
and so, and I'm reacting
00:18:08.54\00:18:10.93
to what you said a
moment ago you know
00:18:10.94\00:18:12.36
about it's too
late, no from what I,
00:18:12.91\00:18:15.92
what I meant and from
what I've gone through
00:18:15.93\00:18:18.29
it's too late for me to
have little children again,
00:18:18.30\00:18:21.61
right, but it's not
too late for me to be a
00:18:21.62\00:18:24.67
father of grown
children, and to be the kind
00:18:24.68\00:18:27.57
of father that I
ought to be, right.
00:18:27.58\00:18:29.16
But I think it's
important for and you know
00:18:30.15\00:18:35.01
out there those
who are watching,
00:18:35.02\00:18:36.43
maybe I am the only one
who has had this problem,
00:18:36.77\00:18:39.33
no, but I don't think
so, no. But I think to the
00:18:39.34\00:18:41.90
parents and the grand
parents who are watching
00:18:41.91\00:18:43.51
let's know we are not
alone I think it's starts
00:18:44.40\00:18:47.33
there because when
we feel we are alone
00:18:47.34\00:18:49.85
that's when we really
get to close to Dan you see,
00:18:50.67\00:18:53.12
and so we've got to
hide and we can't face it,
00:18:53.13\00:18:55.31
right, we can't let it
come out but we can get
00:18:55.32\00:18:57.96
help you know I
could have a go its like
00:18:57.97\00:18:59.77
I could go down,
you know would you know
00:18:59.78\00:19:01.82
what they think of me,
right. No but I'll tell
00:19:01.83\00:19:04.09
the world, you
got to get over that,
00:19:04.10\00:19:05.07
I'll tell the world
that I went to Al-Anon
00:19:05.54\00:19:07.34
and not only that
I'll say you if you get to
00:19:07.81\00:19:10.08
where I was you need to go to.
00:19:10.09\00:19:11.91
And, I think of the
text of scripture where
00:19:12.46\00:19:15.23
it says that we
ought to share one
00:19:15.24\00:19:17.30
another burdens.
So, it used to be in the
00:19:17.31\00:19:20.78
church that, that we
thought well the church
00:19:20.79\00:19:23.70
is the perfect
place for perfect people.
00:19:23.71\00:19:25.73
And, what about the
little saying you know that
00:19:26.27\00:19:30.01
the church is and not
a rest home for saints
00:19:30.02\00:19:32.43
but a hospital for
sinner, for sinners.
00:19:32.44\00:19:34.37
And I used to think
that I misinterpreted that,
00:19:35.07\00:19:38.03
I thought it meant
if you want to sin go
00:19:38.38\00:19:40.04
to church, wrong,
but the key word is not,
00:19:40.05\00:19:43.54
is not sin, it's
hospital, yes, and so I think
00:19:43.55\00:19:46.94
as time goes by and
it's the devil does one
00:19:46.95\00:19:49.84
more damage. The church
is going to have a lot of
00:19:49.85\00:19:53.25
really wounded
and damaged people.
00:19:53.26\00:19:54.98
It's not gonna
have perfect people,
00:19:55.32\00:19:57.03
and how do we do what that.
00:19:57.35\00:19:58.32
It's gonna be
perfect, I mean it's gonna be
00:19:58.33\00:19:59.70
people with high
ideals, but I tell the story
00:19:59.71\00:20:03.42
I say I used to
look for perfect people,
00:20:03.43\00:20:05.71
you know I am
looking for survivors, yes.
00:20:06.44\00:20:08.61
And so there
was a time in which,
00:20:09.18\00:20:10.97
in which you know you
came to me and you say
00:20:11.48\00:20:13.51
well or somebody
come to me and say well
00:20:14.38\00:20:17.42
you know pray for my
boy he is out of the truth
00:20:17.43\00:20:19.53
or pray for my
daughter she is taking drugs,
00:20:20.31\00:20:22.70
pat them on their shoulders.
00:20:22.71\00:20:24.09
Didn't take it too
serious, that's okay
00:20:24.10\00:20:25.21
no, no I was serious
but I didn't feel anything,
00:20:25.22\00:20:28.37
I see, and so and
no now somebody begins
00:20:28.73\00:20:31.61
to tell me and I
cry with subside, now,
00:20:31.62\00:20:33.81
now you know, Now I
know and so if a person says
00:20:33.82\00:20:37.00
to me well all of my,
all of my children are Bible
00:20:37.01\00:20:40.07
workers and ministers
I can say thank you Jesus
00:20:40.08\00:20:42.86
you know I would, but
I am looking for somebody
00:20:42.87\00:20:44.95
who's been through
it, right. But isn't the
00:20:44.96\00:20:47.22
scripture you know
scripture is so wonderful
00:20:47.23\00:20:50.15
because it says
we have a Lord Jesus
00:20:50.16\00:20:52.86
who knows how we feel now.
00:20:53.17\00:20:54.35
Now, when we are
talking about drugs
00:20:54.61\00:20:55.74
and all these it's
different but suffering
00:20:55.75\00:20:58.28
in a way is generic,
suffering is generic,
00:20:58.29\00:21:00.64
so where there has been called,
00:21:00.65\00:21:01.98
what do you mean,
well I mean I think the
00:21:02.75\00:21:04.01
sadness is sadness I
think that pain is pain.
00:21:04.02\00:21:07.81
Now you know pain
can be charged are caused
00:21:08.12\00:21:09.98
by numbers of different things,
00:21:09.99\00:21:11.38
and so remember the
little, the little verses
00:21:11.93\00:21:15.49
the spiritual is it
nobody knows the trouble
00:21:15.92\00:21:19.23
I've seen,
nobody knows but Jesus.
00:21:19.24\00:21:21.63
You know what I say
I say everybody knows
00:21:22.27\00:21:25.18
if he would be
honest with us, oh yes,
00:21:25.19\00:21:26.77
everybody knows
because we are all going
00:21:26.78\00:21:28.96
through it. See,
at the office you know
00:21:28.97\00:21:33.13
you walk down
the hall and you say
00:21:33.27\00:21:34.68
how are you today, fine lie.
00:21:34.99\00:21:37.30
But you are not going
to want them just sit there
00:21:42.83\00:21:44.44
and tell you every
thing that's going on you just
00:21:44.45\00:21:46.45
passing in the hall.
But sometimes you know
00:21:46.46\00:21:48.50
people will say
how are you doing
00:21:48.51\00:21:50.79
and I've of course
you suppose to say fine
00:21:51.42\00:21:53.66
see right, yes, and
but I want to say do you
00:21:53.67\00:21:57.05
really want to
know how I feel, yes,
00:21:57.06\00:21:58.33
and you mean it, oh
no but by that time,
00:21:58.74\00:22:00.96
no I mean in side we
would like to be able
00:22:00.97\00:22:02.85
to say that I mean it,
we would like to be able
00:22:02.86\00:22:03.83
to share, yes, or you
mean we would like to say
00:22:03.84\00:22:05.66
we were fine.
Well, I would like to say
00:22:05.67\00:22:08.14
I am fine, but when
you are feeling like
00:22:08.15\00:22:09.80
this we would like to
say do you really want
00:22:09.81\00:22:12.39
to know, do you
really want to know,
00:22:12.40\00:22:13.37
and actually be
able to say so, to share,
00:22:13.38\00:22:15.75
but you loose lot
of friends that way,
00:22:15.76\00:22:17.12
well, that's why you
weren't telling them,
00:22:18.64\00:22:19.96
but you and I have
shared and you are still
00:22:21.89\00:22:23.22
my friend. Well,
where you Dick I am sorry.
00:22:23.23\00:22:26.54
You know and I think there are,
00:22:27.16\00:22:28.32
there are
viewers and lots of them,
00:22:28.33\00:22:31.47
lot of them we would
rejoice scripture says
00:22:31.48\00:22:33.44
rejoice with those who rejoice,
00:22:33.45\00:22:35.11
but I think most
people who are watching
00:22:35.62\00:22:38.13
this program will understand,
00:22:38.14\00:22:39.74
that we can all cry together.
00:22:40.06\00:22:41.28
And we've got to be
able to cry together.
00:22:41.77\00:22:43.47
It's that the
church, the church is a place
00:22:44.01\00:22:46.77
it's like a
hospital, it's where you come
00:22:46.78\00:22:49.52
to get well. And this
is where I was in that
00:22:49.53\00:22:52.25
little saying that the
church is not a rest home
00:22:52.41\00:22:55.50
for saints, it's a
hospital for sinners.
00:22:55.51\00:22:57.39
Now, if a person
wants to be a sinner
00:22:57.40\00:22:58.94
don't come to
church, if a person likes
00:22:59.25\00:23:01.24
it that way
church is not for you,
00:23:01.25\00:23:02.99
willful sinning it's different
00:23:03.00\00:23:03.97
what we thought that.
Yeah we are talking about
00:23:03.98\00:23:04.97
sinning with impunity,
but the fact is that as the
00:23:04.98\00:23:08.58
days go by I am
convinced that we're gonna
00:23:08.99\00:23:11.59
find in the church
more and more of us
00:23:11.60\00:23:13.85
wounded people,
right, but we're gonna come
00:23:13.86\00:23:16.84
there not to give up,
right, because we have
00:23:16.85\00:23:19.83
hope that Jesus will
do, we will have there is a,
00:23:19.84\00:23:22.31
you know there is
a text of excuse me
00:23:22.32\00:23:24.22
for interrupting.
In, yes you are right up
00:23:24.23\00:23:27.37
you and I interrupt each other
00:23:27.38\00:23:28.90
all the time, I
know. Anyway listen to this
00:23:28.91\00:23:32.29
you are gonna really
like this, 2nd Corinthians
00:23:32.30\00:23:35.57
the first chapter,
it's not the first chapter
00:23:36.30\00:23:38.09
third and fourth
verse or so is it, that's
00:23:38.62\00:23:40.91
the one I was gonna to bring up
00:23:40.92\00:23:41.89
go ahead, you bring it up.
00:23:42.04\00:23:43.01
Well I had this
experience and this particular
00:23:43.02\00:23:47.48
scripture kept cropping
up over the next two years
00:23:47.49\00:23:49.68
and it just by
someone handing it to me
00:23:50.36\00:23:53.84
what happen in
Sabbath school class some one
00:23:53.85\00:23:55.84
handed it to me on a
piece of paper that was
00:23:55.85\00:23:57.52
a third time it
happened. And, this kept coming
00:23:57.53\00:24:01.41
because we had
gone through a very hard
00:24:01.42\00:24:04.54
situation and we were
grieving and we needed
00:24:04.55\00:24:08.20
comfort, yes, so go
ahead and read it now,
00:24:08.21\00:24:11.37
and I, yeah go ahead
and read it, now that
00:24:11.77\00:24:13.32
you kind of let into
it and let's see I think
00:24:13.33\00:24:16.72
what you've just
said that you haven't been
00:24:16.73\00:24:18.19
through of what I've
been through with your kids
00:24:18.20\00:24:21.03
taking drugs, not
at all, no not at all,
00:24:21.04\00:24:22.66
you got these lovely
daughter, but did yeah,
00:24:22.67\00:24:23.74
but you've been so suffering,
00:24:23.75\00:24:24.72
you know what is like
to be kind of discourage
00:24:25.57\00:24:27.64
and feel all alone
and here is the text.
00:24:27.65\00:24:30.00
1 Corinthians or 2
Corinthians 1 verses 3
00:24:30.64\00:24:33.91
and 4, Blessed [be]
God, even the Father of
00:24:33.92\00:24:37.80
our Lord Jesus Christ,
the Father of all mercies,
00:24:37.81\00:24:40.79
and the God of all comfort.
00:24:40.80\00:24:42.36
Oh don't we need
to be comforted, amen.
00:24:43.03\00:24:44.77
Who comforteth us
in all our tribulation,
00:24:45.71\00:24:48.94
who comforteth us in
all our tribulation that
00:24:50.73\00:24:53.37
we may be able to
comfort them that are
00:24:53.38\00:24:56.40
in any trouble, and
that was the answer,
00:24:56.41\00:24:58.37
by the comfort
wherewith all we ourselves
00:24:58.92\00:25:01.31
are comforted. And
so Kathy when I think
00:25:01.32\00:25:04.27
of what Betty and I
have been went through,
00:25:05.77\00:25:07.36
then you need to
think of, when we get to
00:25:08.74\00:25:10.15
heaven if you get, Cain
and Abel, we need to think
00:25:10.16\00:25:13.34
of Cain and Abel.
Well the scripture think
00:25:13.35\00:25:15.38
of the scripture is full of it.
00:25:15.39\00:25:16.69
Must been how Adam felt,
00:25:17.15\00:25:18.79
and how God Himself
felt when assert of his
00:25:19.29\00:25:21.57
only children, right,
we are in good company.
00:25:21.58\00:25:23.92
In other words you
can say well the fact that
00:25:24.64\00:25:26.04
mine children have had
trouble or they are out
00:25:26.05\00:25:27.89
of the church must
mean that I am a bad guy,
00:25:27.90\00:25:30.17
no I just go back
through scripture beginning
00:25:30.74\00:25:32.69
in heaven with
the father of the soul
00:25:32.70\00:25:34.29
who lost assert of
his children, right,
00:25:34.73\00:25:36.72
and then Adam
and Eve, and we need
00:25:36.73\00:25:38.90
to think this why.
Well, not that we're going
00:25:38.91\00:25:41.70
to say well hey I am
just one no it breaks
00:25:41.71\00:25:44.96
our hearts. Well it's not
gonna turn us all joyfully
00:25:44.97\00:25:47.77
in a moment either
just because we think about
00:25:47.78\00:25:49.63
somebody else
having gone through it,
00:25:49.64\00:25:51.15
but we do need to be
able to know others that
00:25:51.58\00:25:54.53
I felt what we felt. So
we can comfort each other,
00:25:54.54\00:25:57.66
yes. You know I
thought of Adam and Eve
00:25:57.67\00:25:59.97
and hear they had
their boy they get their
00:25:59.98\00:26:01.27
first boy, he
leaves the church forever
00:26:01.28\00:26:04.07
and you know
the one that we love
00:26:05.01\00:26:06.42
and respect so much
one of the finding mothers
00:26:06.43\00:26:08.21
of our church Ellen G. White,
00:26:08.22\00:26:09.31
Did you know she
had a boy named Edson,
00:26:09.80\00:26:11.38
and he wrote a
letter one time and she said
00:26:12.25\00:26:14.48
it broke my
heart, when I read that,
00:26:14.49\00:26:15.83
she said I am not
interested in spiritual
00:26:16.35\00:26:17.74
things mother, and
this is the one of the
00:26:17.75\00:26:20.07
founding mothers of our
church, and how she felt,
00:26:20.08\00:26:22.29
oh and she said if
you could just be a
00:26:22.30\00:26:23.98
little baby again,
oh, if I could just hold
00:26:23.99\00:26:25.87
you again and take,
and I thought to myself
00:26:25.88\00:26:27.80
is we've been through
this with our children
00:26:27.81\00:26:29.81
I felt only if I
can just hold them again
00:26:29.82\00:26:31.43
if I could just, but
we can't we can't the fact
00:26:32.26\00:26:35.08
is I don't have
little babies I've got grown
00:26:35.09\00:26:38.09
men and women I've
got grand children.
00:26:38.10\00:26:40.44
I can just look back
to the point where I drive
00:26:41.41\00:26:43.44
myself crazy
but I got to say no,
00:26:43.45\00:26:45.23
no I'm gonna keep
going I better be comforted,
00:26:45.75\00:26:49.34
yes, God comforts
and I'm gonna comfort
00:26:49.35\00:26:52.02
others amen, amen.
We're gonna strengthen
00:26:52.03\00:26:54.47
each other, this
is no time for us to,
00:26:54.48\00:26:55.92
to pretend the nothing
is wrong, right I am fine
00:26:55.93\00:26:59.43
how are you Dick, fine
oh no, no I am not fine,
00:26:59.44\00:27:02.58
but I have faith in
God, that I will be fine,
00:27:02.59\00:27:06.12
yes, because he is
not finished with out
00:27:06.77\00:27:08.17
children yet,
right, and he who has began
00:27:08.18\00:27:10.38
this good work in us
will finish it, amen.
00:27:10.39\00:27:12.48
You know our
time is already over,
00:27:12.93\00:27:14.87
and we are going
to be doing some other
00:27:15.32\00:27:17.09
programs right. And
I want to invite our
00:27:17.10\00:27:19.73
guest back with us, our
viewers and the programs
00:27:19.74\00:27:23.61
that we're gonna to
they are gonna be touching
00:27:23.62\00:27:24.93
your heart. I pray that
you will cry a tear along
00:27:24.94\00:27:28.04
with us and as
you've been going through
00:27:28.05\00:27:29.98
things that you
will learn more about
00:27:29.99\00:27:31.64
comforting others
and be able to overcome
00:27:31.65\00:27:34.55
and remember that
you are not alone,
00:27:34.56\00:27:35.92
that we're not. And
Dick I wish you would pray
00:27:35.93\00:27:38.78
as we go out and bow your head
00:27:39.15\00:27:41.73
and pray with
us. Heavenly Father,
00:27:41.74\00:27:43.34
we are thankful
Lord that we walk through
00:27:43.74\00:27:45.64
the valley of the
shadow of deepest gloom
00:27:45.65\00:27:47.58
that we need fear no
evils for you with us.
00:27:48.55\00:27:50.84
And our Lord when
we pray that you keep
00:27:51.58\00:27:54.07
your mansions with
we are not trying to be
00:27:54.08\00:27:56.41
you ever it's just
that we want you to
00:27:56.42\00:27:58.85
save our children, amen.
00:27:58.86\00:28:00.47
This is the burden you gave us.
00:28:00.48\00:28:01.92