Welcome again to
Thinking About Home.
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I'm Kathy Matthews
and I'm glad you've
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joined us again.
Today we're gonna be talking
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about the principles
of better relationships
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and we have with us
Janet and Jerry Page.
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Jerry is the president
of the Central California
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Conference of
Seventh -day Adventists and
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Janet has a burden
for prayer ministries.
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And I think you work
out there quite a bit
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don't you with prayer
and prayer ministries?
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We're going to
direct our question to you
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Jerry. Alright. I
think and I am going to have
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to read this one I
think. How do we deal
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with our relationships
with God when our hopes
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are disappointed or
our prayers seemingly go
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unanswered, I
wanted to get that right.
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I understand. You
know the thing that's
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been exciting to me
is, in growing walking with
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the Lord and is
how, how creative He is,
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He never answers my
prayers just like I think
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He is or just
like He did it before.
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He is the creator
and many times He's got
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a better answer for
me than I could ever
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imagine. And I just
that's something I'm coming
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to love Him for more
all the time and he puts
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up with me too.
Dragging and kicking and
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screaming. Dragging
us along and I so often.
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But this thing
about seemingly unanswered
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prayers, you know we
can talk a lot about in
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ourselves in the
prayer, but the reality is a lot
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of us are still have
a lot of requests in our
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prayer journals that
haven't been answered.
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Once we can't see
why God hasn't answered,
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I do believe He is too
wise to err and too good
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to give us things
that aren't good for us.
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I had an
experience early in ministry,
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we did where I had
sold two houses and made
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money as a young
Pastor. And so I had got
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pretty well figured
out that you work hard,
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you were faithful
and when it came time to
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move He helped you
put some equity away.
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And so first two
houses I had sold first one I
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put up for sale by
owner and somebody came
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along bought it
without real estate and I
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pocketed some equity.
Second one same thing.
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So I had this all
figured out, then it came time
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to move from
Southwest Colorado to Denver
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and I did a little less
praying as we looked for
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the house there and
little more sure of my
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own abilities and
that something that seems
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to happen to us as
Christians, we get more
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and more secure on our
own. Especially if we've
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recently had
answered prayers. You know and
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so anyway there is a
house I really kind of
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thought was where I
wanted to be and I was
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sure it would
escalate, I had my own views and
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its probably wrong. But
anyway got a little over
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my head and so we
noticed over a period of
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not too long that
we're beginning to have more
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going out each
month than coming in.
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We were losing money
and so I thought well
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certainly God you want
us to be good stewards.
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So we'll sell our
house, so I put up a big for
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Sale by owner sign
by the freeway and I was
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just sure that God
was gonna answer my prayer
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again. And sure
enough somebody came along
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offered me quiet a
bit more than I paid for,
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made a deal. And I
was happy, but a couple
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of weeks later
things began to fall apart,
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I got a notice in
the mail saying that I've
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overdrawn my checking
account and I don't like
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to do that. So I got
to figure out what had
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happened and sure
enough in my checking
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account I had made a
couple of additions when
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I shouldn't over
whatever and ended up almost
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$2,000 further in
the whole and I spent the
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money. Well at least
the house was sold until I
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got home that day,
there was a note from the
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guy who bought the
house saying, can I get
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financing the deals
off. So I remember walking
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out on the hills
behind the house where there
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were some big
mansions out there you know of
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other people. I was in
the old farm house near
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the freeway, but
thinking God what's the deal
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now. What you're
gonna do for us and how
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you're gonna get us
out of this. I am sure you
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don't want us to loose
our equity every month.
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But anyway Psalms 37
is a Psalm that really I
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believe God led me to
right at that point in
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my life and just takes
some time to read these
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verses to you
because I was beginning to be
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anxious. Beginning to
fret and worry and be a
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little envious of
those would have more money
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and if you read through
Psalms 37. It says, do not
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fret because of
evildoers, do not be envious of
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the workers of
iniquity. For they shall soon be
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cut down like the
grass, and wither as the green
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herb. Trust in the
Lord, and do good; dwell in
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the land, and feed
on his faithfulness.
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Delight yourself also
in the Lord and he'll give
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you the desires of
your heart. I love that
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promise, so beautiful.
Commit your way to the
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Lord, trust also in
Him, and He shall bring it to
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pass. He shall bring
forth your righteousness
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as the light, and your
justice as the noonday.
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Rest in the Lord, and
wait patiently for him;
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do not fret because of
him who prospers in his
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way, because of the
man who brings wicked
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schemes to pass.
Cease from anger,
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forsake wrath; do
not fret it only causes
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harm. For evildoers
shall be cut off; but those
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who wait on the Lord,
they shall inherit the
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earth. And the whole
Psalm really brings you
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back over and
over again don't fret,
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don't be anxious,
don't be envious of those
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who have a lot more than you do,
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but rather rest,
trust. It talks about how the
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Lord will take care
of the righteous kids,
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they won't starve
to death, that was good
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news for my children.
Yes. It talks about how
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little, little
righteous man has is better than
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riches of many wicked.
So I really felt the Lord
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was saying to me
Jerry, I'm gonna take care
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of your family,
I'm gonna do it again.
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So I really thought
God was gonna sell my
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house pretty quick.
But that's not the end of
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the story. The deal
went on month after month,
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the economy had
fallen out, my loan looked
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so good when I
bought the house, it was
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transferable, it was
no longer transferable any
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more, the interest
rates have gone below and
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it's a long story. I am
gonna take up an offering
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here in just a minute
to ask you to help us with
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our terrible financial
situation, but the reality
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is this went on for a
couple of years then we
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got a call to go
to another conference.
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And then we went, we
prayed and really felt
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God was calling
us to another place.
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And so we rented
another house, so now I
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had this house on
sold and another place to
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go. And the end of
the story really is that
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the God did sell our
house for exactly the same
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dollar I paid for
through a real estate agent.
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You know what that
means, that means a loss
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to money. Yes. And
so we went out of the
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Denver owing money,
instead of having this
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nice nest egg of
equity which we lost month
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after month and we
owed money, and the
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end of the story
really though wasn't written,
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because that was
ten, fifteen years ago.
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And now in Psalms
37 around my Bible,
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I have events and
dates and times when
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God has taken care of
our family financially
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and he's been
faithful to His promise.
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And all the way
around here, the cars were
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given to us, the
money that came unexpectedly
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those things and I
can, I can say honestly
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that today I'd rather
have that testimony in
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Psalms 37 on my
margins then I would that
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equity. So God knows
what He is doing even
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when He doesn't
answer the way I want Him
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to, or the way that
makes sense, why would
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He waste a
Christian's money. You know,
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So I just thank God
that He is faithful in
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everywhere. And that
statement in ministry
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of healing that when
we get to the future life,
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those seemingly
unanswered prayers of
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disappointed hopes
will have been to seem to
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be among our greatest blessings.
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I have found to be
really true from God.
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I just praise Him,
thank Him for that all along.
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And really your
relationship with God has
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been built more
since then. You know if I
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had trusted in
equity I wouldn't have the
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relationship,
understanding that I do
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today, so I praise
him for that. Well since
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we're talking a
little bit about building
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relationships and
whether it be with God or
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each other or our
neighbor, that's you have
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a story about on
building relationship
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with your neighbor, didn't you?
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Well in previous
times that we filmed here,
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we talked about how
you know God changed
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my life, got me into
a relationship with Him
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and in getting me
into that relationship of
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being in His word
everyday and just getting
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to know Him. I
began to have things to
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share with people and
because I was spending
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more time praying
with people I had all these
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answers. So I had
things to share with my
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neighbors about God
and also wanted Jerry's
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ideas ways of
witnessing to people is,
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he thinks I should
make him a loaf of bread
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and take it to him.
I only suggested why
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doesn't he break
their lawns or paint their
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houses or wash their
cars. Because there is a
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lot of religion in the
loaf of bread. A lot of
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religion in a loaf,
well I don't know about my
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bread, because my
bread comes out really
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strange. Comes out
with these dog ears and
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it looks really bad,
but I worked really hard,
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prayed about it
you know to make some
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good loafs. And then
I would, my little boy,
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my little boy and I
would pray over this
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loaves of bread
before we take them to
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the neighbors that
the Holy Spirit would go
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with these. And this
one particular neighbor
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that kind of struck
up a friendship with,
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her husband liked my
bread, I found out later
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that she never
really liked my bread,
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but we became
friends through that and
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just started talking
about God and the kind
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of God he is and
how He speaks to you
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through His word.
And she started saying
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you know I need to
take my little girl to
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Church, I've never
taken her to Church in fact
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I haven't been to
Church in 17 years. Oh.
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And so she did
start going to Church,
00:09:06.19\00:09:08.37
but it was a church
at the end of street,
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not my Church, you
know I wanted to go
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to my Church, and
in January I did not
00:09:11.83\00:09:15.56
want to make new
year's resolutions,
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but this one
January I decided I am gonna
00:09:17.22\00:09:19.22
make a new year's
resolution or wherever
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you wanna call it,
and I started saying Lord,
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I want you to give
me Karen and Richard for
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your kingdom. Give
me Karen and Richard for
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your kingdom. And
started praying that in
00:09:27.28\00:09:31.36
my family, we
started praying in family
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worships with my
children and my prayer
00:09:33.11\00:09:35.57
partner which I
don't know if you've got a
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prayer partner
Kathy, but I would encourage
00:09:37.69\00:09:39.65
you to get one and
our audience that there's
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nothing like having
somebody that you can
00:09:44.21\00:09:45.62
pray with once a
week about your kids,
00:09:45.63\00:09:47.62
your family, but
also to pray for the
00:09:47.63\00:09:49.54
community and
people's needs for your Church.
00:09:49.55\00:09:52.47
And my prayer
partner started praying also
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for Karen and
Richard, it was about the end
00:09:54.71\00:09:57.48
of February or so, one
day I was praying Lord,
00:09:57.49\00:10:00.77
you know why
don't you do something,
00:10:00.78\00:10:02.53
moving their lives.
Karen calls me up on the
00:10:03.10\00:10:05.33
phone and said, do
you know anything about
00:10:05.34\00:10:07.61
the vegetarian cooking
school being offered at
00:10:07.62\00:10:10.49
your school,
academy nearby, at boarding
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school. And I said
no I don't, she saw it
00:10:15.06\00:10:17.89
on cable TV and I
said I don't know about it,
00:10:17.90\00:10:21.22
but I'll find out
if you're interested.
00:10:21.23\00:10:22.93
She was a gourmet
cook and very interested
00:10:22.94\00:10:25.75
in vegetarian
cooking. So within a couple of
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hours I had her
registered, she and her
00:10:28.46\00:10:30.48
husband to go to it
and it was such a good
00:10:30.49\00:10:32.71
cooking school
because they involved a lot
00:10:32.94\00:10:35.49
of the Church
members and people were
00:10:35.50\00:10:37.52
there to greet
people and were friendly
00:10:37.53\00:10:39.50
and she said you
know what I've gotten
00:10:40.55\00:10:42.77
to know more
people here then I know my
00:10:42.78\00:10:45.54
own Church, they're
friendlier. And so when
00:10:45.55\00:10:48.15
she'd come to my
kids musical, she'd come
00:10:48.16\00:10:49.98
to the musical
programs and Christmas
00:10:49.99\00:10:51.48
programs they put
on. She would say that,
00:10:51.49\00:10:54.19
she said I had a
hard time getting out of
00:10:54.20\00:10:55.51
there, because I know
so many people they're
00:10:55.52\00:10:57.11
so friendly. And I
realize what a difference it
00:10:57.12\00:10:59.32
makes you know
when we do reach out
00:10:59.33\00:11:00.80
and are friendly to
people. But she kept
00:11:00.81\00:11:02.46
going to this other
Church and it concerned
00:11:02.47\00:11:05.52
me because it was
a Church who, that
00:11:05.53\00:11:08.21
didn't teach the
Bible was real. They said it
00:11:08.22\00:11:10.62
was a bunch of
fables, stories and she told
00:11:10.63\00:11:13.75
me one day that she
had signed up for 9 month
00:11:13.76\00:11:16.12
discipleship class.
She and her husband,
00:11:16.13\00:11:17.87
they wanna take them
through the Bible and
00:11:18.38\00:11:20.37
I immediately started
to panic, because I knew
00:11:20.38\00:11:22.23
that they would
teach them just strange
00:11:22.24\00:11:24.69
things that weren't
true and I started praying
00:11:24.70\00:11:27.84
Lord what do I do,
what do I do? And I
00:11:27.85\00:11:30.43
really felt like God
said keep their little girl
00:11:30.77\00:11:32.78
so they can go. I
thought that doesn't make
00:11:32.79\00:11:35.74
sense, but I started
keeping their little girl
00:11:35.75\00:11:37.90
so they could go
and I said what else can
00:11:37.91\00:11:39.33
I do God. And I felt
like he was impressing
00:11:39.34\00:11:42.11
me to ask her to get
together to pray once
00:11:42.12\00:11:44.10
a week and to pray
specifically for his
00:11:44.11\00:11:46.42
smoking problem. She
really wanted to quit
00:11:46.43\00:11:48.74
smoking, she and her
husband and I knew that,
00:11:48.75\00:11:51.23
but knew that she
hadn't been unable to.
00:11:51.24\00:11:52.74
So I called her up
and said, hey Karen,
00:11:53.32\00:11:56.26
can we get
together and start praying
00:11:56.27\00:11:58.37
together once a
week. And pray for our
00:11:58.76\00:12:01.80
children, for
whatever needs it might be and
00:12:01.81\00:12:03.90
I said specifically
for your smoking problem.
00:12:03.91\00:12:05.91
I said, I know you
wanna quit, she said yeah
00:12:06.32\00:12:08.22
maybe we can get
together to pray,
00:12:08.55\00:12:09.76
I never prayed out
loud with anybody before
00:12:09.77\00:12:11.78
and she said but the
smoking, medical science
00:12:11.79\00:12:14.07
can take care of
that. My husband and I are
00:12:14.08\00:12:15.72
going to sign up for
the stop smoking class
00:12:15.73\00:12:17.76
at his office in a
few weeks, So I don't need
00:12:17.77\00:12:20.32
to do, pray about
that. So I said, can we get
00:12:20.33\00:12:23.10
together to pray. She
said yeah. So she came
00:12:23.11\00:12:25.31
over one day that we
decided to make the day
00:12:25.32\00:12:27.55
to pray together and
as we started to pray
00:12:27.56\00:12:30.97
I said I know medical
science can really help
00:12:30.98\00:12:33.39
the smoking, but I
really fell like you need God
00:12:33.40\00:12:35.69
in it for it to
really make a difference
00:12:35.70\00:12:38.37
you know. I had
really felt like God was
00:12:38.38\00:12:40.07
impressing me, pray
for her smoking problem.
00:12:40.08\00:12:42.72
How did she
responded? She says well,
00:12:42.93\00:12:44.78
she was real hesitant
and I couldn't understand
00:12:45.14\00:12:46.81
why, is like she just
didn't wanna bother God
00:12:46.82\00:12:48.86
with it. Finally she
said okay you can pray
00:12:48.87\00:12:50.81
about it, so we did
along with a lot of other
00:12:50.82\00:12:53.15
things and it was so
refreshing to hear her
00:12:53.16\00:12:55.67
prayers, because she
had not prayed out loud,
00:12:55.68\00:12:58.05
she hadn't gotten
stuck in these kind of dry
00:12:58.21\00:13:00.56
traditional ways we
pray that God must get
00:13:00.57\00:13:02.93
sick of hearing us all
the time, but it was so
00:13:02.94\00:13:05.98
fresh. And in fact
she prayed with her eyes
00:13:05.99\00:13:09.06
open which I know
how did I know that,
00:13:09.07\00:13:11.92
but it was just, it
was beautiful experience
00:13:11.93\00:13:15.18
with it. But anyway
she started the stop
00:13:15.19\00:13:16.92
smoking class and the
instructor taught them
00:13:16.93\00:13:21.71
all the things to do
for withdrawal when you
00:13:21.72\00:13:23.52
once stopped
smoking. And on a Sunday they
00:13:23.53\00:13:25.76
would have quit
smoking and they would go
00:13:25.77\00:13:28.08
through these
withdrawals. Well we
00:13:28.09\00:13:30.00
were all praying
for them and that week I
00:13:30.01\00:13:32.16
didn't get to talk to
her though until Thursday
00:13:32.17\00:13:33.91
when we were to
meet to pray and when I
00:13:33.92\00:13:36.20
called her up to tell
her ahead. I called her up,
00:13:36.21\00:13:38.10
I said you know I
don't have time to get
00:13:38.11\00:13:39.81
together to pray
today, because I've got
00:13:39.82\00:13:41.74
this meeting I'm
planning this weekend and
00:13:41.75\00:13:43.42
I'm just so busy.
She said that's okay,
00:13:43.43\00:13:45.76
we can wait till next
week, but can I tell you
00:13:45.77\00:13:47.29
real quick. I said
okay. She said you're so
00:13:47.30\00:13:50.90
right about God,
God does answer prayer.
00:13:50.91\00:13:53.31
I said what do you
mean? She said you know
00:13:53.47\00:13:55.58
I quit smoking on
Sunday both my husband and I.
00:13:55.59\00:13:57.77
I said yeah. She said
well we haven't had one
00:13:57.78\00:13:59.94
withdrawal
symptom all week. Oh wow.
00:13:59.95\00:14:02.36
She said nothing,
she said my instructor is
00:14:02.39\00:14:03.75
been going crazy.
She said you should be
00:14:03.76\00:14:05.48
going through
this and this and this,
00:14:05.49\00:14:06.58
how come you are
not going through this.
00:14:06.59\00:14:07.88
Are you sure you
smoked? You know she
00:14:07.89\00:14:09.94
was a three packs a day smoker,
00:14:09.95\00:14:11.38
but you know God
does not always choose to
00:14:12.87\00:14:15.00
work that miraculously,
but I believe He wants
00:14:15.01\00:14:18.35
to more and more. You
know we're told in one
00:14:18.36\00:14:21.81
of my favorite books
Christ Object Lessons.
00:14:21.82\00:14:23.65
That God longs for us
to expect great things
00:14:23.66\00:14:25.69
to happen. Yeah. And
I believe He wants us
00:14:25.70\00:14:29.72
to pray very
specifically for these things in
00:14:29.73\00:14:31.77
people's lives as
He leads us to do that.
00:14:31.78\00:14:34.29
But even with that
Karen kept going to this
00:14:35.27\00:14:36.99
other Church
which was teaching her
00:14:37.00\00:14:38.57
you know there was
no Adam, no Eve and on
00:14:38.58\00:14:40.66
and on. But the Lord
would just tell me to
00:14:40.67\00:14:43.52
keep my mouth shut
when we meet to pray.
00:14:43.53\00:14:45.14
Just let her talk
about it, but just keep
00:14:46.08\00:14:47.96
praying with her
and down the road,
00:14:47.97\00:14:51.37
the ways I kept
praying Lord what do I do.
00:14:51.38\00:14:54.86
And our Church
decided to have evangelistic
00:14:54.87\00:14:56.98
meetings and when
they printed these colorful
00:14:56.99\00:14:59.44
brochures, I took it
with my little boy and we
00:14:59.45\00:15:01.71
knelt down and we
prayed over these that
00:15:01.72\00:15:04.26
God would use these
brochures. The Holy Spirit
00:15:04.33\00:15:08.53
would speak to
people through them and we
00:15:08.54\00:15:09.89
took them to our
neighbors and especially
00:15:09.90\00:15:11.43
this one, particular
one Karen. One of the
00:15:11.51\00:15:13.82
things too that had
been happening is my
00:15:13.83\00:15:15.71
little boy and he's
like five-years-old and they
00:15:15.72\00:15:17.70
had a little girl that
was about two and a half,
00:15:17.71\00:15:19.40
three-years-old
and as a witness I said
00:15:19.41\00:15:23.20
you know she wanted
somebody to play with
00:15:23.21\00:15:25.84
and he would go and
play with her, would
00:15:26.35\00:15:27.84
swing her on a swing
and his way of reaching
00:15:27.85\00:15:30.81
out in Christian love
to her, to show her what
00:15:30.82\00:15:32.50
Jesus was like. And it
was just, it was really
00:15:32.51\00:15:34.91
very beautiful to
watch how that helped him
00:15:34.92\00:15:36.72
to grow and to
understand God better as
00:15:36.73\00:15:38.61
he reached out
to her. And what an
00:15:38.62\00:15:40.22
impression that made
on the parents to see
00:15:40.23\00:15:42.43
this five-year-old boy
be so tender and loving
00:15:42.44\00:15:44.87
and would play with
her little girl. Yes.
00:15:45.27\00:15:47.34
But these, we took
these brochure over and
00:15:48.17\00:15:50.24
I knew she
wasn't probably gonna be
00:15:50.25\00:15:52.91
interested. She was
really defensive about
00:15:52.92\00:15:55.37
those kind of
things and I took over that
00:15:55.38\00:15:57.29
brochure and we
handed to her, she said oh,
00:15:57.30\00:16:00.00
yeah, okay. And she
went back in her house,
00:16:00.06\00:16:01.77
you know we were
just standing at the door,
00:16:01.78\00:16:03.16
we went back over to our house.
00:16:03.17\00:16:04.42
And by the time I
got to my house so,
00:16:05.02\00:16:06.89
the phone was
ringing and it was Karen on
00:16:06.90\00:16:09.07
the line. And she
says oh this brochure is
00:16:09.08\00:16:10.81
beautiful, you know
I just can't wait for
00:16:10.82\00:16:12.98
these meetings to
begin. Now we had prayed
00:16:12.99\00:16:15.13
very specifically
that God would speak to her
00:16:15.14\00:16:17.15
through that brochure,
that he would just make
00:16:17.16\00:16:19.24
her long to come
to those meetings.
00:16:19.25\00:16:21.91
And those were
practically her words of
00:16:22.13\00:16:24.27
what she shared. I
just can't wait to come
00:16:24.28\00:16:26.38
to these
meetings. They look so good.
00:16:26.39\00:16:28.26
So I immediately
called up my prayer partner
00:16:29.08\00:16:30.88
and said, she wants
to come to the meetings,
00:16:30.89\00:16:32.68
started praying and we
started praying together.
00:16:32.90\00:16:35.71
And as a family we
started praying that God
00:16:35.86\00:16:38.24
would give her such
a sense of his presence
00:16:38.25\00:16:42.51
when she came into
the Church and such a
00:16:42.52\00:16:44.54
sense of his peace of who he is,
00:16:44.55\00:16:46.47
that they would
long to come back after
00:16:46.67\00:16:49.28
about a week and
half or so that was her
00:16:49.29\00:16:51.56
words out of her
mouth when we met to pray
00:16:51.57\00:16:53.11
with. Oh I just love
to go in the sanctuary
00:16:53.12\00:16:55.51
of your church and
she said I just felt God's
00:16:55.52\00:16:57.87
presence and God's
peace. And again I was
00:16:57.88\00:17:00.18
praying very
specifically for this and it
00:17:00.19\00:17:02.84
wasn't too much
longer after that, that
00:17:02.85\00:17:06.14
Karen and Richard
were baptized. Amen.
00:17:06.15\00:17:08.16
I'm enjoying.
You've built a, quite a
00:17:08.17\00:17:10.23
relationship there
and you probably still
00:17:10.24\00:17:12.23
keeping contact
with her. Yeah. When you
00:17:12.71\00:17:14.22
were telling the
story of someone that we
00:17:14.23\00:17:16.59
had just had the
opportunity to build the
00:17:16.60\00:17:18.27
relationship with, and
they're moving this week,
00:17:18.28\00:17:21.40
their name is
Karen. Karen and John have
00:17:21.41\00:17:23.10
been on these
program before and now they
00:17:23.11\00:17:25.56
have the little baby
boy and he's like our
00:17:25.57\00:17:27.35
grandson. And so I
understand about going
00:17:27.36\00:17:33.23
out and doing the
effort and praying in their
00:17:33.24\00:17:36.07
behalf and building
those relationships.
00:17:36.08\00:17:37.92
That can be
beautiful, it's a wonderful
00:17:38.35\00:17:40.00
experience. It's
more than, for me it been
00:17:40.01\00:17:43.56
you know we needed
to show them Jesus,
00:17:43.57\00:17:45.00
we need to reach
out and convert people,
00:17:45.63\00:17:46.60
but it isn't. It's
developing a relationship
00:17:46.61\00:17:48.37
and loving people
and they see Jesus then.
00:17:48.38\00:17:51.12
When the Holy Spirit
works. Yes, you know,
00:17:51.30\00:17:54.40
you're going to tell
us something more about
00:17:55.11\00:17:57.17
building better
relationships aren't
00:17:57.18\00:17:58.78
you Jerry? A few principles
00:17:58.79\00:18:00.18
that you can
share with us. Yeah,
00:18:01.21\00:18:02.18
Janet and I have made
enough mistakes in our
00:18:02.19\00:18:03.65
relationship, so we've been,
00:18:03.66\00:18:05.26
we've been stock
piling a few principles,
00:18:05.27\00:18:07.33
oh good, how to do a
few better ones is really
00:18:07.34\00:18:09.58
from our own
memories and stumbling,
00:18:09.59\00:18:11.31
but you know Jesus
prayer in John 17 Kathy,
00:18:11.32\00:18:13.96
beautiful
prayer, it's really the
00:18:13.97\00:18:16.16
Lord's prayer.
They're just before
00:18:16.17\00:18:17.14
we went to Calgary
that we would be one
00:18:17.15\00:18:19.12
as his people, that the world
00:18:19.13\00:18:22.14
would know that he really came,
00:18:22.15\00:18:24.41
that Christmas is not
a fable like Santa Claus
00:18:24.42\00:18:26.70
or something. And so again we've
00:18:26.71\00:18:29.07
been thinking about
how, how can we really
00:18:29.08\00:18:31.48
help practically
those principles and so
00:18:31.49\00:18:34.21
we've got several of
them that we come up with.
00:18:34.22\00:18:36.70
Maybe to share few of them,
00:18:36.71\00:18:38.23
we have time left
here. One of them we've come
00:18:38.24\00:18:40.94
across that means a
lot to us is we need to
00:18:40.95\00:18:43.22
intercede more for
people before we try to
00:18:43.23\00:18:45.64
be the Holy
Spirit and do something.
00:18:45.65\00:18:47.46
You know so often one
has a relationship problem.
00:18:47.47\00:18:49.27
Or we see
somebody having a sin or a
00:18:49.28\00:18:51.75
problem around us.
There is a time to go
00:18:51.76\00:18:53.80
and care and talk to
them, but only after we
00:18:53.81\00:18:56.07
spend a lot of
time with God and been,
00:18:56.08\00:18:58.53
the Holy Spirit is
making us go. Good point.
00:19:00.55\00:19:02.46
I'm a fixer, so I try to go
00:19:02.47\00:19:04.12
and be the Holy Spirit to them.
00:19:05.42\00:19:06.39
I understand
that. You do that too.
00:19:06.40\00:19:08.10
I can do that yes.
I on experience got
00:19:08.11\00:19:10.12
back from a trip and
there was a guy in our
00:19:10.13\00:19:12.10
office who just loved
to gossip and I'm sure
00:19:12.11\00:19:14.39
there's nobody
around 3ABN that does had at
00:19:14.40\00:19:16.20
all or anything,
but anyway this guy
00:19:16.21\00:19:18.50
loved it and was
sort of how he got his
00:19:18.51\00:19:21.32
enjoyment seemed.
And I had really talked
00:19:21.33\00:19:25.47
to him before about
this and it really upset
00:19:25.48\00:19:27.52
me that he was doing it again.
00:19:27.53\00:19:29.69
'Cause he was
gossiping about this couple
00:19:29.70\00:19:31.10
and it was
hurting their reputation.
00:19:31.11\00:19:32.39
So I setup an
appointment for the next Tuesday
00:19:32.40\00:19:34.40
with him and I made
a little legal brief of
00:19:34.41\00:19:36.87
things I knew
he have been doing.
00:19:36.88\00:19:37.96
My plan was to
sit down with him,
00:19:38.39\00:19:39.66
share the things I
knew he had been doing
00:19:40.14\00:19:41.44
and wants him to
score him a little and make
00:19:41.45\00:19:42.98
sure that you
know we didn't act that
00:19:42.99\00:19:44.44
way as Christians.
But that Tuesday morning
00:19:44.45\00:19:46.68
I spent time with
Jesus and asked him
00:19:46.69\00:19:49.73
that day Lord,
please speak to me
00:19:49.74\00:19:52.03
and your Bible is
getting a little dry lately and
00:19:52.04\00:19:53.75
your word is
suppose to be your voice
00:19:53.76\00:19:55.50
speaking to me. So
I asked him to be real
00:19:55.51\00:19:57.60
practical and speak to
me and I didn't know what
00:19:57.61\00:20:00.81
I was asking for I guess,
00:20:00.82\00:20:01.85
because he had something to say.
00:20:01.86\00:20:03.11
And that day I
happened to be reading Proverbs
00:20:03.12\00:20:05.32
and Proverbs 12 came
along and I don't know how
00:20:05.33\00:20:07.22
God does this
Kathy, but He makes those
00:20:07.23\00:20:09.47
verses jump out.
Jump out makes them alive.
00:20:09.48\00:20:11.20
Just for what I need
for the day and A fool
00:20:11.21\00:20:13.91
shows his annoyance at once,
00:20:13.92\00:20:15.13
yeah I was
annoyed at this guy right.
00:20:15.14\00:20:17.02
Reckless words
pierce like a sword,
00:20:17.61\00:20:19.16
but the tongue of
the wise brings healing.
00:20:19.17\00:20:20.81
You know it was
about to go cut him up
00:20:20.82\00:20:22.25
with my rather sharp tongue.
00:20:22.26\00:20:23.77
A prudent man keeps
his knowledge to himself.
00:20:23.78\00:20:27.66
Oh I have remembered reading
00:20:27.67\00:20:28.64
that just recently. I
had my little legal brief
00:20:28.65\00:20:31.33
I was gonna dump
on this poor guy.
00:20:31.34\00:20:32.81
A righteous man is
cautious in friendship
00:20:33.26\00:20:34.85
and so I ended up
on my knees and said
00:20:34.86\00:20:37.90
Lord I hear you. I'm
right about the facts,
00:20:37.91\00:20:39.60
but I'm wrong in
spirit. I'm not being like Jesus
00:20:39.61\00:20:42.70
and Galatians 6:1
came to my mind which is a
00:20:42.71\00:20:45.51
beautiful
promise. It says brothers,
00:20:45.52\00:20:50.45
if a man is
overtaken in any trespass,
00:20:50.46\00:20:52.87
you who are
spiritual restore such a one in
00:20:52.88\00:20:55.37
a spirit of
gentleness, considering yourself
00:20:55.38\00:20:57.56
lest you also be
tempted. Bear one another's
00:20:57.57\00:21:00.54
burdens, and so
fulfill the law of Christ.
00:21:00.55\00:21:02.79
For if anyone thinks
himself to be something,
00:21:02.80\00:21:05.05
when he is nothing
he deceives himself.
00:21:05.06\00:21:06.62
In my family, in my work if I
00:21:08.97\00:21:10.98
will follow that
council and I will always be
00:21:10.99\00:21:13.43
careful to always go in
the spirit of Jesus if I go.
00:21:13.44\00:21:16.64
That day I went, met with a man
00:21:17.10\00:21:18.53
and I started out by
reading the scripture.
00:21:18.54\00:21:20.29
And I said you know friend,
00:21:20.72\00:21:21.69
I sometimes talk about
people behind their back
00:21:22.86\00:21:24.53
and I say negative
things and don't we all?
00:21:24.54\00:21:27.38
And I said you know I
wish you pray for me then
00:21:28.11\00:21:29.42
I be more like Jesus
and then I shared a little
00:21:29.43\00:21:31.45
bit of what I
knew without dumping
00:21:31.46\00:21:32.95
the whole hay load on him.
00:21:32.96\00:21:34.13
And we ended up
kneeling together praying that
00:21:34.76\00:21:37.57
the Holy Spirit would
change us both and was much
00:21:37.58\00:21:39.81
better in that
meeting, tears in our eyes.
00:21:40.04\00:21:41.77
But that night the
neat thing about God is
00:21:42.57\00:21:44.17
He has always got
one step more to do,
00:21:44.18\00:21:46.09
that night I got home
late and there was a Pastor
00:21:46.10\00:21:48.92
on the phone to me
and he was really upset
00:21:48.93\00:21:50.59
because his Church
members have been going around
00:21:50.60\00:21:53.47
behind his back.
Saying things that
00:21:53.48\00:21:54.83
are not true and he
said I am gonna sit down
00:21:54.84\00:21:56.60
with him tomorrow
and I'm gonna straighten
00:21:56.61\00:21:57.91
them out good. So you see God
00:21:57.92\00:21:59.68
is so wonderful,
He was able to work
00:21:59.69\00:22:02.01
me over in the
morning, better meeting
00:22:02.02\00:22:03.73
with the guy, yes,
and then help this Pastor
00:22:03.74\00:22:05.83
in the evening
so. You were prepared.
00:22:05.84\00:22:07.35
I just praised Him
and if we would go to Him
00:22:07.36\00:22:09.10
instead of trying to
fix our family first or
00:22:09.11\00:22:11.81
something you know I
just. I used to come out of
00:22:11.82\00:22:14.60
my devotional time
and try to tell Janet
00:22:14.61\00:22:16.24
what to do, I've discovered
00:22:16.25\00:22:17.22
now that better way
for us is she has her
00:22:17.23\00:22:19.36
devotions in
another part of the house.
00:22:19.37\00:22:20.75
So I write it down on a
little note and I tip toe
00:22:21.21\00:22:22.87
in and I float it
down, she thinks it came
00:22:22.88\00:22:24.33
straight from
heaven works a bit.
00:22:24.34\00:22:26.83
You do that, no,
he is checking you.
00:22:26.84\00:22:29.11
But I realize if I
pray or if she prays for me.
00:22:29.12\00:22:31.85
He does do it yes.
The Holy Spirit is very
00:22:31.86\00:22:34.14
able to be the Holy
Spirit and if he needs to
00:22:34.15\00:22:36.53
convict a
Christian relative or friend,
00:22:36.54\00:22:38.15
he can do that for
us. I just need to be,
00:22:38.16\00:22:40.76
well my own kids, so
often point the finger
00:22:40.77\00:22:43.10
at them and God
points the finger back at me
00:22:43.11\00:22:45.63
and says judge not,
because you're doing
00:22:45.64\00:22:47.71
the same thing.
You're the one who
00:22:47.72\00:22:50.26
is doing that and
so anyway one of the
00:22:50.27\00:22:52.93
principles is
intercede more for others first
00:22:52.94\00:22:55.23
before you go do something,
00:22:55.24\00:22:56.70
let the Holy
Spirit be the Holy Spirit.
00:22:56.71\00:22:58.99
Another one is to
respect the diversity of
00:22:59.57\00:23:01.26
temperaments and
God created differences
00:23:03.09\00:23:04.06
in people. Janet and I,
00:23:04.07\00:23:05.24
I don't know if you know notice,
00:23:05.25\00:23:06.22
probably not on this program.
00:23:06.23\00:23:07.20
But we're
different. I have noticed.
00:23:07.21\00:23:09.04
I am the clerk, I am the leader
00:23:09.05\00:23:11.17
gonna go charge, take the world
00:23:11.18\00:23:12.23
and Janet is a little
more reserve and yet she
00:23:12.24\00:23:14.83
has a great
temperament. But God put us
00:23:14.84\00:23:16.97
together in
family, it's I think its
00:23:16.98\00:23:18.33
pretty good. Put us together
00:23:18.34\00:23:21.26
in families with differences.
00:23:21.27\00:23:22.61
The statement from
the Child Guidance says,
00:23:22.62\00:23:24.79
Marked diversities of
disposition and character
00:23:24.80\00:23:26.72
frequently exist
in the same family,
00:23:26.73\00:23:28.17
for it is in the
order of God that persons
00:23:28.96\00:23:30.63
of different temperament should
00:23:30.64\00:23:31.86
associate together.
When this is the case,
00:23:31.87\00:23:34.13
each member of the
family should sacredly regard
00:23:34.14\00:23:36.27
the feelings and
respect the rights of others.
00:23:36.28\00:23:38.46
Then it goes on
talking about how this develops
00:23:38.96\00:23:40.65
our character and balances.
00:23:40.66\00:23:42.01
It's the same in the Church,
00:23:42.02\00:23:42.99
many different
people with God has us
00:23:43.63\00:23:45.78
there for
reason, so that's another
00:23:45.79\00:23:48.21
principle to realize
that you're different than
00:23:48.22\00:23:50.73
me and she is different then me.
00:23:50.74\00:23:51.98
Learn to work together.
00:23:51.99\00:23:53.15
And chill out a little
bit, another principle is
00:23:53.16\00:23:56.91
to assume the
best of each others
00:23:56.92\00:23:58.29
motives and
actions. You always do
00:23:58.30\00:23:59.75
that don't you?
No. My dad was pretty
00:23:59.76\00:24:03.70
good at that, he
was a very loving
00:24:03.71\00:24:04.93
probation guy and he
always seemed to try to
00:24:04.94\00:24:07.71
put the best on
other's motives and actions.
00:24:07.72\00:24:09.92
I love the story about Greg,
00:24:10.53\00:24:11.50
he had a problem of
slugs. Do you know how
00:24:11.51\00:24:13.17
to get rid of
slugs in your garden,
00:24:13.18\00:24:14.31
you know what the slugs are.
00:24:14.32\00:24:15.29
Yes I do, it seems
like. Snails without shells.
00:24:15.30\00:24:17.02
Yes, I know what they
are, I was trying to think
00:24:17.03\00:24:20.29
of kindly getting
rid of them and I can't
00:24:20.30\00:24:22.35
remember if I've
ever heard. How is it.
00:24:22.36\00:24:24.41
They told Greg
there were two ways.
00:24:24.90\00:24:26.54
One is you could
or you could put salt
00:24:27.03\00:24:32.00
on them right. Oh
yes I've heard that.
00:24:32.01\00:24:33.49
That way or you
could beer in a plate
00:24:33.50\00:24:35.82
and put it on the
plants, they crawl in there
00:24:35.83\00:24:37.90
and get drunk, exhaust and die.
00:24:37.91\00:24:39.71
Seriously? So Greg went
to go to a grocery store
00:24:39.72\00:24:42.11
to get a six pack
of beer and he was on
00:24:42.12\00:24:43.96
his way to checkout
counter and you know
00:24:43.97\00:24:45.86
what happened. No,
he got caught somehow.
00:24:45.87\00:24:47.93
He got caught
somehow. Sure, the head Elder
00:24:48.62\00:24:50.11
of the Church
met, first thing you do
00:24:50.12\00:24:51.90
is you greet each
other and you look
00:24:51.91\00:24:52.88
down the basket,
see what the other
00:24:52.89\00:24:54.20
person is
getting. So of course the
00:24:54.21\00:24:57.58
head Elder
assumed he was buying beer
00:24:57.59\00:24:59.12
to kill slugs
right. I can't imagine that
00:24:59.13\00:25:01.79
he would assume
that. I love the statement
00:25:01.80\00:25:04.09
asks the apostles,
Christ like love places
00:25:04.10\00:25:06.17
the most favorable
construction on the
00:25:06.18\00:25:07.66
motives and actions of others.
00:25:07.67\00:25:09.14
It does not
needlessly expose their faults.
00:25:09.65\00:25:11.74
It does not listen eagerly to
00:25:11.75\00:25:13.50
unfavorable
reports, but seeks rather
00:25:13.51\00:25:15.28
to bring to mind the
good qualities of others.
00:25:15.29\00:25:17.93
If I could do that with
others what a difference
00:25:18.73\00:25:20.54
it would make in my
relationships, family,
00:25:20.55\00:25:22.10
church, where ever.
Another one is Mathew 18,
00:25:22.11\00:25:26.36
Mathew 5, if we would
process the Gospel order
00:25:26.37\00:25:29.34
we would go to
people directly when we have
00:25:29.35\00:25:31.50
a problem or when they
have a problem with us.
00:25:31.51\00:25:32.92
How much we could save,
but instead we go around
00:25:33.46\00:25:35.83
and talk to a
bunch of other people.
00:25:35.84\00:25:37.37
Even pray requests we
go and say to somebody.
00:25:38.67\00:25:41.47
I've got a prayer
request for you and then we
00:25:41.48\00:25:42.88
tell them all
about somebody else
00:25:42.89\00:25:44.24
instead of
dealing with it directly.
00:25:44.25\00:25:45.64
So much could be saved that way.
00:25:46.33\00:25:47.70
Another principle is
to yield our rights and
00:25:48.39\00:25:50.12
expectations all to
God. If I don't expect much
00:25:50.13\00:25:52.93
of Janet then I'm
not disappointed when
00:25:52.94\00:25:55.58
I don't get it,
if I yield all that
00:25:55.59\00:25:57.21
to the cross and
give it to Jesus.
00:25:57.22\00:25:58.81
You know and it
doesn't mean be a door mat,
00:25:59.71\00:26:01.16
doesn't mean
physical abuse for people.
00:26:01.17\00:26:02.66
No. But it does mean
that I don't go around
00:26:02.67\00:26:04.92
expecting you to do things,
00:26:04.93\00:26:06.96
then be disappointed
when you don't treat me
00:26:07.82\00:26:09.87
the way I think you
should all the time.
00:26:09.88\00:26:11.19
Yes. So there's
a lot more I could
00:26:11.20\00:26:12.45
say about that,
but I need to rush.
00:26:12.46\00:26:14.03
I think that is
really, I know you're
00:26:14.04\00:26:16.06
trying to rush, but
I think that's really
00:26:16.07\00:26:17.57
one of the problems
that happens between couples,
00:26:17.58\00:26:19.84
an awful lot of
couples. Their expectations
00:26:19.85\00:26:22.38
with each other and
their demands that they
00:26:22.39\00:26:24.19
put on each
other causes a lot of
00:26:24.20\00:26:25.99
stress in relationships.
Another principle is
00:26:26.00\00:26:29.12
praising God for the
source of irritations,
00:26:29.13\00:26:30.85
Janet's been good
this taking of something
00:26:30.86\00:26:34.16
that is a source
of irritation and
00:26:34.17\00:26:35.46
thanking God for that person,
00:26:35.47\00:26:36.62
bringing out the
positive qualities
00:26:38.16\00:26:39.13
about that person.
Thanking God for them,
00:26:39.14\00:26:40.78
praying that they'll be blessed.
00:26:40.79\00:26:42.05
Now that's a very
difficult thing to do,
00:26:42.06\00:26:43.53
but it does
change your attitude even
00:26:43.54\00:26:45.13
towards a person. Yes, it does,
00:26:45.14\00:26:46.11
I've done that. And Ellen White
00:26:46.12\00:26:48.67
has got a beautiful
statement in the early
00:26:48.68\00:26:49.78
writings 119 and
120 that nails are down.
00:26:49.79\00:26:52.34
Talks about how
the angels are standing
00:26:52.35\00:26:53.78
around saying
we're at the end of time,
00:26:53.79\00:26:55.72
you don't understand
the urgency and you're
00:26:55.73\00:26:58.10
fiddling around talking
about this little trivial
00:26:58.11\00:27:00.14
thing and this
little trivial thing.
00:27:00.15\00:27:01.20
She says get
ready, get ready and the
00:27:01.21\00:27:03.37
statement there is,
if pride and selfishness
00:27:03.38\00:27:05.04
were laid aside,
five minutes would
00:27:05.05\00:27:06.68
remove most difficulties.
And that is so true
00:27:06.69\00:27:09.67
in my life, it's usually pride,
00:27:09.68\00:27:10.65
pride opinion or something.
00:27:10.66\00:27:12.10
The last thing
is, is we can't do
00:27:12.89\00:27:14.37
any of this, only
Jesus living in us
00:27:14.38\00:27:17.17
only being
connected with him everyday.
00:27:17.18\00:27:18.80
If I don't connect with Jesus,
00:27:18.81\00:27:20.03
I can be a
pretty rotten husband.
00:27:20.04\00:27:22.44
Right. But if I
connect with him,
00:27:22.45\00:27:23.75
Janet connects with
him, then we come together.
00:27:23.76\00:27:25.58
And we can love
each other because
00:27:25.59\00:27:27.06
his love living
in us. Amen, amen.
00:27:27.07\00:27:29.90
Thank you for these principles,
00:27:29.91\00:27:31.25
they should be helping us.
00:27:32.65\00:27:33.68
I hope they're going to help us,
00:27:33.69\00:27:34.96
I think they'll help
me and I would like to
00:27:34.97\00:27:37.21
invite our viewers
back again on thinking
00:27:37.22\00:27:39.77
about home. And I think we'll
00:27:39.78\00:27:41.32
ask Jerry to pray
for us as we go out.
00:27:41.33\00:27:43.23
Lord, we thank you
so much for your love,
00:27:45.70\00:27:47.51
you are love. Fill us, we pray.
00:27:47.52\00:27:49.39
Baptize us with the
Holy Spirit and help us to
00:27:49.40\00:27:51.21
love people
around us. Even that are
00:27:51.22\00:27:52.68
not unlovable, thank you Jesus
00:27:52.69\00:27:54.70
for the fact that
you make our homes one,
00:27:54.71\00:27:57.25
you've said
you'll make the two one
00:27:57.26\00:27:58.94
in marriages. Help us.
00:27:58.95\00:27:59.92