Welcome again to
Thinking About Home.
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I'm Kathy Matthews and
I'm glad you've joined us.
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Today we have with
us Janet and Jerry Page
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from the Central
California Conference of
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Seventh-day Adventists
and I want to thank you
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for being with us. Thank you.
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Janet is a part
of women's ministries
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there and she is
really enjoying a prayer
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ministry there. I
think you've gotten a little
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pushed into it at one
time didn't you? Or was
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that the other way
around with the women's
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ministry, wasn't
that? The women's ministry.
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Oh! That's right.
And it developed into
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the prayer ministry I
suppose and it's become
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a very important
thing in your life,
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hasn't it Janet?
Yeah. Why do you think
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the power of praise
is so important? If you
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read scripture you'll
find that is the thing
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we're commanded the
most to do, is to praise God,
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to give thanks and everything.
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And yet one time in
talking about this at
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church I had a
lady come up to me
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afterwards and she said,
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Janet really
what is the big deal,
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why do we need to
spend this time praising God?
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God knows I love him.
And I know I love God,
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why not get down
to that laundry list,
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those wants and those needs
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and be done with
it. And at the time
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I didn't, I didn't know why?
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I really didn't and
as I thought about it
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and prayed about it
and the months later.
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I started thinking about it,
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it reminded me the
first probably seven,
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eight months Jerry and
I were married, really.
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And Jerry came up to me one day
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I was busy folding,
putting laundry away
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and he came up to
me and he said, Janet,
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can't you tell
me once in a while
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that you love me?
And I looked at him
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and I said, tell you that
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I love you, well I married you
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didn't I Jerry? Oh! I know you
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sound like a man, not a woman.
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Poor sick man. You know
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that's all I can
say. And I said, you know,
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hey if it changes
I'll let you know,
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but I love you. And
but he kept following me,
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I was putting the laundry away
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and he said, but I need to hear,
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I need to hear once in
a while that you love me
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and I need to hear
nice things about myself.
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And I thought hey, you know
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the guy's good
looking, what could happen
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if you start telling
him those kind of things.
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But he kept after
me and kept telling me
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you know he needed
to hear these things,
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so I started
reading some of these books
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on marriage and
found that it can be
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really important to your mate to
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tell them that
you love them. Amen.
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Once in a while tell them
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nice things about themselves.
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Well, he'd
already told you that,
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you didn't have to
look that up in a book.
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Well, the book
was more convincing.
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So I started trying to do that.
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I know it was
difficult at first but as I did
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that what I found
was that as much as
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I already love Jerry,
it made my love for him
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increase and just
grow and it made me
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appreciate him all the more.
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And that's when
it dawned on me as
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I thought back
about that experience
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of why it's so important
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to praise God.
It's not that God's got
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some big ego that
needs to be stroked.
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It's that, it's for our benefit.
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That as we spend time focusing
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and praising God,
it helps us. Yeah.
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It helps us to love God more,
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to appreciate him
and to want to obey him
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and to realize
how much he loves us
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and that he is a
God that wants to answer
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our prayers and
he is in the business
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of answering
them. But it has made a
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big difference and if
you look at Psalms 22:3
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it tells you the
secret of how to have
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God's presence with
you throughout the day.
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And in Psalms 22:3,
it says, thou art holy,
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O thou that inhabits
the praises of Israel.
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And if we want
God's presence with us
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throughout the day praise Him,
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praise Him throughout the day.
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He inhabits us
as we do that. Amen.
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And another one
though in talking about
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that lot of times
people say you know
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I gotta be real with God,
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I can't just be
praising Him all the time.
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Well, God tells us
to be real with Him
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if you look at
Psalms 62:7 and 8 it says
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O people; pour out
your hearts to Him,
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for God is our refuge.
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To pour our hearts to Him,
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God wants to be the one
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we go to and pour
out our hearts to.
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And if you read the Psalms,
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you read things, a lot of things
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we don't talk about much, right.
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Like where it says,
God killed their babies,
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make their
house into a dunghill.
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You know, and he
would say wake up God,
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where are you,
why don't you move,
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why don't act. The people who
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wrote the Psalms were very
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open and honest with God,
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right. And I found that
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God wants that in
my life and at times
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when I don't, I don't know how
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it is for you
but I will at times,
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even though I know I need to be
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open and honest with him,
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I won't be like, why go tell him
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that I don't like Sally
or that she irritates me
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because he'll just
tell me to love her right.
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And so I would
find myself withdrawing
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or not telling God these things.
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Or even if I
maybe upset with God
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it's kind of
hard to tell him that,
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but what I read in
the Psalms is we need to.
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Because if we don't
an emotional wall goes up
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between us and God,
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that we don't want there,
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right. But it comes up
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and it separates us.
And it's so important
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that we be open and honest
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with him and tell him how it is.
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That's really true
in our marriage too,
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I mean there is,
we don't share openly
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with each other,
eventually there's such
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barriers there that
we really don't know
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each other and we
drift apart thing.
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Janet, did you learn a lot
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of this from reading
or you just learned it
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on your own experience?
In my own experience,
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through that devotional time,
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spending that time with God.
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It's been amazing to
me in the last few years
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I hear it and if
seen it printed up.
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And it's incredible
to me the times that
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we spent with God,
God teaches us so much.
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We don't really need
to read a whole lot of
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other books, we can stay in.
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my favorite is Spirit
of Prophecy in the Bible
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but stay in
God's word and he will
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teach us so much.
Amen. You know you have a
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story about, there's kind of sad
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from your past
and, it's about your
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first husband and
what happened to him,
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can you share that with us?
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Are you ready to
share that with us, almost,
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or do you want to
say something else?
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I just, But I wanna say
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one more thing
about the Psalms that
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when life is so bad and we just
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feel like is God
alive, why doesn't he move?
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David gives the
answer of what to do?
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In Psalm 77 and I,
but I won't read it all
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but just parts of it,
he talks about I cried
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out to God with
my voice and in my
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day of trouble
I sought the Lord,
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my soul refuses to be comforted,
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I remembered God
and was troubled.
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You know he
just, he couldn't sleep
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at night, in verse
4, he talks about it.
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And if you feel
like that you would just,
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just, yes I had,
God where are you?
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Why don't you
move? Are you rejecting
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me or what? But on down he
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gives the answer of
what to do when things
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seems so bad and
you think God's just
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doesn't care or he's asleep,
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something's wrong.
But in verse 10 and 11
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he gives the answer, he says,
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and I said this is my anguish,
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but I will remember
the years of the right hand
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of the most high,
I will remember the
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works of the Lord,
surely I'll remember
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your wonders of
old, I will meditate on
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all of your work
and talk of your deeds.
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So what I see there
is that he has cried out
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but then he's come
back to the thought of
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what God has done
for me in the past.
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Right. And one of
the things that Jerry and
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I found that
really helps us with that,
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is to journal. And we write down
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prayer requests and the answers,
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the blessings of
surprises God does
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in our lives and the
more we journal those
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and write them
down, the more you see
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them happen. Right.
That's really important
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for me because, I'm sorry.
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I'm sorry I just
tend to forget what
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God has done. That's just what
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I was gonna say.
Yeah. And I need to write
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them down when I get
to the end of the year,
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for instance on the
first day of January
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I always sit down
and go over the whole
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year and. Well that's good idea.
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And I just end
up, just flying high
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praising Lord
because all the things he did
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and some of the
worse trials I was facing
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have become the greatest praises
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by that point. Amen. It may seem
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boring or redundant,
but literally to take
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that journal
before God when you are so
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low and depressed and down.
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And say God remember when you
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did this in 1999
I wanna praise you
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and thank you for that. Amen.
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God, remember
when you did this in 94
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or 95 whatever it is
but to say it out loud
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and say Lord, I wanna praise you
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and thank you for
the way you moved,
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your God is so
faithful and trustworthy.
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It helps to increase
our faith to trust him
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for the future and
what he wants to do.
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The beautiful thing
is, is like with our kids.
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First, a lot of
years our family worships
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or it seem like
it's a lot of years,
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I felt like
something was missing and
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I didn't know what
it was but as I got to
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studying Psalm 77
and 78 and on in 145
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it talks about it
too. It talks about a
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secret, it was to
me, what's so important
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and that is to
bring out praise with our
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kids in our
worship. It talks about
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teaching our kids
the praiseworthy deeds to
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the next
generation. And before our
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prayers have been
Lord, help so and so.
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So and so has got cancer.
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Lord, we need a
new washing machine,
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God we need a new house,
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God we need this, we need that,
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Lord please help
this, please forgive us
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of our sins and
amen. But now we had in the
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last several
years turned it around,
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God we just wanna
thank you that we're
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alive today,
amen. We wanna thank you
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we have two legs
that work, absolutely,
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or eyes that
see. A warm bread and
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some food, and a
roof over your head,
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exactly. And it,
what it does for you kids
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to teach them
that gratitude for the
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just the simple
things instead of all these
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give me, give me,
give me. Right, right.
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But in Psalms 145
it again talks about it
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too, how much
important it is that we
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teach the next generation.
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There are so
many teenagers who say
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I don't know that God exists,
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he's never done anything for me
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and I think the reason is,
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nobody keeps bringing
it to their attention,
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they forget of how he
moved in the past. Yes.
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What was
Israel's biggest problem?
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Because they
constantly forgot how Lord
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had lead them in the past.
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That's right. It
was always they forgot,
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they forgot what
God had done and I know
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I can have some miracle happen
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today and tomorrow, I forget how
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powerful God is.
Because it is too easy,
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isn't it. It's just
so human, it's so human.
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It is. And really is. Yeah.
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Those scriptures
like rejoice in the Lord
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always in
Philippians 4:4 or in James
00:10:05.76\00:10:10.16
1 verse 1 where it
says, Consider it pure joy
00:10:10.17\00:10:13.28
when you face
trials of many kinds.
00:10:13.29\00:10:14.95
Count it all joy.
Yeah, count it all joy.
00:10:14.96\00:10:16.32
I used to think
these guys are crazy
00:10:16.33\00:10:19.15
Paul and James
'cause consider it pure joy,
00:10:19.16\00:10:21.21
rejoice always and
everything you think
00:10:21.22\00:10:23.06
about your life
just this last week.
00:10:23.07\00:10:25.07
The things that
have happened and to
00:10:25.08\00:10:27.00
consider those
pure joy, embrace it.
00:10:27.01\00:10:29.33
Yeah. We found
that people can get
00:10:29.34\00:10:31.35
very angry when
you start saying that,
00:10:31.36\00:10:32.96
when they're going
through real trials
00:10:32.97\00:10:34.28
and traumas, it's
frustrating to them.
00:10:34.29\00:10:36.22
Yes, it can be. It
can seem very trite.
00:10:36.23\00:10:38.67
That's right.
It's almost as if its,
00:10:38.68\00:10:40.57
you don't really understand what
00:10:40.58\00:10:41.91
I'm going through,
you can't understand
00:10:41.92\00:10:43.83
what I'm going through.
And I feel that way, so.
00:10:43.84\00:10:45.77
But, well yeah I
think we all have at times,
00:10:45.78\00:10:47.98
but I understand
that to try to learn,
00:10:47.99\00:10:53.70
to embrace the
thing that humbles you or
00:10:53.71\00:10:56.54
to try to learn
to grasp and hold on
00:10:56.55\00:10:59.03
and to praise
anyway when everything
00:10:59.04\00:11:01.81
seems dark around you.
00:11:01.82\00:11:03.26
That's character development.
00:11:03.27\00:11:04.95
That's true. And there is
00:11:04.96\00:11:06.25
joy in the morning, so to speak.
00:11:06.26\00:11:08.81
I'm convinced that
God's power is released
00:11:08.82\00:11:13.57
when we choose to praise Him,
00:11:13.58\00:11:14.79
we choose to
surrender to Him that
00:11:14.80\00:11:16.44
whole thing, it releases a power
00:11:16.45\00:11:18.28
that's not released a
grace that's poured out
00:11:18.29\00:11:21.40
to bring healing
that I don't think happens
00:11:21.41\00:11:23.39
if we don't
choose to praise and obey
00:11:23.40\00:11:25.07
as scripture
says. In the last two
00:11:25.08\00:11:26.43
sentences you've
used the word choose,
00:11:26.44\00:11:28.91
that we must choose to do that.
00:11:28.92\00:11:31.44
It's not an
automatic thing it's not a
00:11:31.45\00:11:33.42
comfortable thing
it's not a thing that comes
00:11:33.43\00:11:36.60
so easily for us or naturally,
00:11:36.61\00:11:38.73
you must choose to do it.
00:11:38.74\00:11:40.99
Right along with that I so many,
00:11:41.00\00:11:43.56
I've different
ones say to me you know
00:11:43.57\00:11:45.55
I can't praise Him for that,
00:11:45.56\00:11:47.51
that would be of
being a hypocrite
00:11:47.52\00:11:48.68
'cause I don't feel it.
00:11:48.69\00:11:49.66
It's not going on feelings.
00:11:49.67\00:11:51.32
Yes. I know. It's
an act of obedience,
00:11:51.33\00:11:53.29
to choose to obey God. Yes.
00:11:53.30\00:11:55.41
That's what can
bring the joy. Oh yeah.
00:11:55.42\00:11:57.83
That's what can bring the joy.
00:11:57.84\00:11:58.81
But the joy may
come down the road
00:11:58.82\00:12:00.62
not immediately,
not immediately yes.
00:12:00.63\00:12:03.39
But I'm glad you
said that because
00:12:03.40\00:12:05.53
there's probably
going to be those who were
00:12:05.54\00:12:07.24
going to question
what you're saying.
00:12:07.25\00:12:09.94
But to
understand that it can come
00:12:09.95\00:12:12.90
if I choose. It can come
00:12:12.91\00:12:15.37
maybe not now, but
it will. In his time,
00:12:15.38\00:12:17.26
yes, in his
time. And, the thing is
00:12:17.27\00:12:19.89
to get the focus
onto God and off of
00:12:19.90\00:12:22.44
the problem, onto just the
00:12:22.45\00:12:24.22
wonderful God we
have to really spend
00:12:24.23\00:12:26.02
more time getting to know him.
00:12:26.03\00:12:27.44
But I had
something happen several
00:12:27.45\00:12:29.48
years ago, many years ago
00:12:29.49\00:12:30.72
that really helped
me to see the difference
00:12:30.73\00:12:33.82
I think that it makes and,
00:12:33.83\00:12:35.60
I was previously married to
00:12:35.61\00:12:37.83
young minister,
we're pretty fresh
00:12:37.84\00:12:39.69
out of school and
we were actually in our
00:12:39.70\00:12:41.90
first district I had been there
00:12:41.91\00:12:43.55
two and half
months when he blacked out
00:12:43.56\00:12:48.35
in a swimming pool accident.
00:12:48.36\00:12:49.65
And they, at the
hospital when they
00:12:49.66\00:12:52.76
told me you know there's
00:12:52.77\00:12:53.89
nothing we can do.
There's nothing we can
00:12:53.90\00:12:55.57
do to revive him.
First thing that came
00:12:55.58\00:12:58.06
into my mind was Romans
8:28 expect of that time
00:12:58.07\00:13:01.45
I couldn't even tell
you where it was found,
00:13:01.46\00:13:02.72
which is the first
of all things worked
00:13:02.73\00:13:04.43
together for
good. I just started
00:13:04.44\00:13:06.33
saying that out
loud, all the things worked
00:13:06.34\00:13:07.92
together for good.
And I'm so thankful
00:13:07.93\00:13:09.98
about six, seven
months or so before this some
00:13:09.99\00:13:13.78
meeting we were at,
the speakers suddenly
00:13:13.79\00:13:16.03
switched from what
they were talking about,
00:13:16.04\00:13:17.28
they started
talking about praise,
00:13:17.29\00:13:18.65
praising all
things and we thought this
00:13:18.66\00:13:20.32
is a little
strange. But we started
00:13:20.33\00:13:23.08
studying it and we started
00:13:23.09\00:13:24.06
trying to practice
it and found that it
00:13:24.07\00:13:25.73
really did make a difference.
00:13:25.74\00:13:27.02
So I know some
people don't understand
00:13:27.03\00:13:29.86
this but when they
told me that my husband
00:13:29.87\00:13:31.91
had died I started praising God.
00:13:31.92\00:13:34.37
Not that I
wanted him dead because
00:13:34.38\00:13:36.79
I loved him very
much, you know he was
00:13:36.80\00:13:39.65
a wonderful man.
But I, and I don't
00:13:39.66\00:13:42.46
believe that God
caused the death,
00:13:42.47\00:13:44.77
that God was wanting that but he
00:13:44.78\00:13:47.85
could have stopped
it. God is all sovereign
00:13:47.86\00:13:50.33
and he could have
stopped it and he for
00:13:50.34\00:13:52.10
some reason has
allowed it which I won't
00:13:52.11\00:13:53.65
understand till I get to heaven.
00:13:53.66\00:13:55.18
So I chose to praise
Him for what had happened.
00:13:55.19\00:13:59.10
And I started also
just focusing on the fact
00:13:59.11\00:14:01.68
that we'd had
five years together
00:14:01.69\00:14:03.66
and I had a little
boy by him and just the
00:14:03.67\00:14:05.43
good times we'd had.
00:14:05.44\00:14:06.66
And it was a
difficult because we
00:14:06.67\00:14:09.66
just started the
ministry and as I was
00:14:09.67\00:14:12.00
trying to revive
him back at the swimming
00:14:12.01\00:14:13.44
pool I was
telling the Lord you know
00:14:13.45\00:14:14.53
this can't be
we just started the
00:14:14.54\00:14:16.25
ministry together,
we got a little child
00:14:16.26\00:14:18.16
and we're gonna
serve you and help people.
00:14:18.17\00:14:20.89
So I knew it was a nightmare,
00:14:20.90\00:14:22.62
but it turned to
be reality. Yeah.
00:14:22.63\00:14:25.18
I'm sure you had
to sort through all
00:14:25.19\00:14:26.46
that to be able to praise.
00:14:26.47\00:14:27.97
I can't imagine that it
just came off your lips.
00:14:27.98\00:14:30.62
To begin with it
did though, yeah.
00:14:30.63\00:14:33.55
It was, that's
hard for me to imagine
00:14:33.56\00:14:34.75
but especially in a
moment like that. Yeah,
00:14:34.76\00:14:37.11
it is really I
believe because God
00:14:37.12\00:14:39.02
had prepared me, I
had by that seminar he
00:14:39.03\00:14:41.48
had already gotten us
into it and it was just
00:14:41.49\00:14:43.82
kind of an automatic response,
00:14:43.83\00:14:45.32
it started coming out of me,
00:14:45.33\00:14:46.69
not some that I had to force.
00:14:46.70\00:14:48.52
And that first
night the first person
00:14:48.53\00:14:51.30
to show up was my brother,
00:14:51.31\00:14:52.84
it was like 1
O'clock in the morning and he
00:14:52.85\00:14:54.49
was exhausted
and when I would try
00:14:54.50\00:14:56.52
to go to sleep you
know the horribleness of
00:14:56.53\00:14:58.18
seeing my
husband like that which
00:14:58.19\00:14:59.48
was just awful. Your husband,
00:14:59.49\00:15:01.22
he's big and
strong, you depend on him
00:15:01.23\00:15:02.79
and to find him lifeless
00:15:02.80\00:15:04.25
like that is
awful. And so I told
00:15:04.26\00:15:06.39
my brother, we
went and laid down
00:15:06.40\00:15:07.63
on this king size
waterbed I had and
00:15:07.64\00:15:09.56
I said just talk to
me till I go to sleep.
00:15:09.57\00:15:11.65
And then you know he could go in
00:15:11.66\00:15:13.76
the other room go to sleep;
00:15:13.77\00:15:14.74
well he probably fell asleep on
00:15:14.75\00:15:15.91
me right there. So I went in
00:15:15.92\00:15:18.24
the other room
and crawled to bed
00:15:18.25\00:15:19.25
next to my
little boy, my toddler.
00:15:19.26\00:15:21.56
And I shut my eyes
to go to sleep in the
00:15:21.57\00:15:23.67
horribleness of the
whole thing came back
00:15:23.68\00:15:25.60
and so I started
saying Lord, I need sleep,
00:15:25.61\00:15:28.34
I got to face,
make decisions. Yes.
00:15:28.35\00:15:30.91
And I said I
choose to praise You,
00:15:30.92\00:15:32.93
I choose to surrender this whole
00:15:32.94\00:15:34.23
situation to
You, I praise You for
00:15:34.24\00:15:35.94
what's happened
Lord, for whatever reason
00:15:35.95\00:15:38.20
but I need sleep.
And before I can hardly
00:15:38.21\00:15:40.88
get that prayer out
I suddenly felt like
00:15:40.89\00:15:42.91
somebody was
holding me and just this
00:15:42.92\00:15:45.79
peace came over me
and I wasn't taking any
00:15:45.80\00:15:48.01
medication at all.
But I fell right to
00:15:48.02\00:15:51.00
sleep and slept
the whole night. Amen.
00:15:51.01\00:15:53.46
And as I started
waking up in the morning
00:15:53.47\00:15:54.85
I thought this
has been a nightmare,
00:15:54.86\00:15:56.81
this isn't real.
And when I reached
00:15:56.82\00:15:58.53
out for my husband it was
00:15:58.54\00:15:59.92
my little boy and I knew,
00:15:59.93\00:16:01.18
you know it was
reality. Oh! I see.
00:16:01.19\00:16:03.35
But that first day
when I called and told
00:16:03.36\00:16:07.34
my parents what had happened,
00:16:07.35\00:16:09.04
they lived three
states away, and, and said
00:16:09.05\00:16:11.80
don't do anything
till we get there.
00:16:11.81\00:16:13.06
I don't know what
they thought we would do
00:16:13.07\00:16:14.38
or what I do, we owned
a rusty VW and a canoe.
00:16:14.39\00:16:17.25
But anyway they
wanted me to be careful,
00:16:17.26\00:16:20.32
so they said
just don't do anything
00:16:20.33\00:16:22.21
until we get there.
I said okay I won't.
00:16:22.22\00:16:23.90
So that morning
waited for them to show up,
00:16:23.91\00:16:25.81
I'm pacing back and forth in
00:16:25.82\00:16:27.08
that apartment.
And my brother and I
00:16:27.09\00:16:28.72
were talking, and as we are and
00:16:28.73\00:16:30.57
I'm just talking
about my husband and
00:16:30.58\00:16:32.05
the good times we
had together, this book,
00:16:32.06\00:16:34.18
it was a
devotional book that had been
00:16:34.19\00:16:35.48
printed for that
year, it was laying on
00:16:35.49\00:16:37.37
the in-table. And I kept
00:16:37.38\00:16:39.21
having this
impression to pick it up
00:16:39.22\00:16:40.75
and read it,
that day was July 4.
00:16:40.76\00:16:42.68
And, and I didn't
think about it being from God
00:16:42.69\00:16:46.65
I don't know if
you think to ask God
00:16:46.66\00:16:48.62
about those impressions Lord,
00:16:48.63\00:16:50.16
is this from you or not,
00:16:50.17\00:16:51.48
but I don't always
remember to do that,
00:16:51.49\00:16:53.11
I need to do it
more. I've done it
00:16:53.12\00:16:55.31
and not enough. You know,
00:16:55.32\00:16:57.22
I find out later
I should have, yes,
00:16:57.23\00:16:58.76
yeah times. Well, that day
00:16:58.77\00:17:00.75
I kept having several times to
00:17:00.76\00:17:02.72
pick it up
reading, I kept thinking
00:17:02.73\00:17:03.70
I wanna read, I don't wanna talk
00:17:03.71\00:17:04.78
about my husband,
I don't wanna talk
00:17:04.79\00:17:06.02
about what's
happened. Right. And I didn't.
00:17:06.03\00:17:07.97
Ten days later
after everything was over,
00:17:07.98\00:17:10.60
my parents, my
brothers stayed and helped me
00:17:10.61\00:17:12.99
pack up my
apartment then they had to
00:17:13.00\00:17:14.65
get back to work.
Well, I had one other
00:17:14.66\00:17:16.61
place to be packed
up and that was a garage
00:17:16.62\00:17:18.58
where we had a
lot of stuff stored.
00:17:18.59\00:17:20.29
And that morning
before going there
00:17:20.30\00:17:22.94
I picked up this
book and started to have
00:17:22.95\00:17:26.38
my devotions, I started reading.
00:17:26.39\00:17:27.79
At that time it
was ten days later
00:17:27.80\00:17:29.30
which is July
14. And as I read it
00:17:29.31\00:17:31.85
was so good I
kept reading and kept
00:17:31.86\00:17:34.07
reading maybe as
procrastinating packing
00:17:34.08\00:17:35.85
'cause I hate the pack.
00:17:35.86\00:17:36.84
I know the
feeling. You were in the
00:17:36.85\00:17:40.03
middle of that. But
I got to July 18 and 19
00:17:40.04\00:17:43.31
and I looked at the
clock and I said oh,
00:17:43.32\00:17:44.77
I got to go pack,
'cause the mover's
00:17:44.78\00:17:46.72
coming and I have to be ready.
00:17:46.73\00:17:48.12
And I wanted to
keep reading this
00:17:48.13\00:17:50.58
'cause it was so good
so I took it and I laid
00:17:50.59\00:17:52.16
it upside down
this on the end-table
00:17:52.17\00:17:54.01
by my bed. And I grabbed my
00:17:54.02\00:17:56.01
little toddler
and we took off to go
00:17:56.02\00:17:57.74
pack up the garage.
Now, the garage when
00:17:57.75\00:18:00.18
I got in there was
just full of my husband's
00:18:00.19\00:18:02.53
things and you
know pulled out of the
00:18:02.54\00:18:04.28
boxes everywhere and
after I started trying
00:18:04.29\00:18:06.27
to pack these up
I became overwhelmed
00:18:06.28\00:18:08.30
with how much I
missed him and just
00:18:08.31\00:18:10.54
overwhelmed with
what that happened
00:18:10.55\00:18:12.16
and I started to
crying out to God.
00:18:12.17\00:18:13.47
I said, God why did
you let this happened,
00:18:13.48\00:18:16.07
we just started
the ministry together,
00:18:16.08\00:18:17.86
to serve you together
and I have a little boy
00:18:17.87\00:18:21.06
by him, how am I gonna raise
00:18:21.07\00:18:22.08
this little boy
without his daddy. You know,
00:18:22.09\00:18:24.31
what I'm supposed
to do with my life God
00:18:24.32\00:18:26.32
and I was just kind
of went deeper and deeper
00:18:26.33\00:18:28.23
into this pit of despair, yeah.
00:18:28.24\00:18:30.22
And so when I got
through packing up
00:18:30.23\00:18:32.98
we went to a
church member's home
00:18:32.99\00:18:34.51
for dinner and
when I finished there
00:18:34.52\00:18:37.28
you know I didn't
even, they didn't know
00:18:37.29\00:18:38.46
what was
happening. When I got home,
00:18:38.47\00:18:40.80
it was late and I
put my little boy to bed
00:18:40.81\00:18:42.62
and I went into my
room and just float across
00:18:42.63\00:18:45.16
my bed and just
started crying and crying,
00:18:45.17\00:18:47.37
just sobbing and as I laid there
00:18:47.38\00:18:48.81
sobbing this urge comes on me,
00:18:48.82\00:18:51.06
pick up this book and read it.
00:18:51.07\00:18:52.39
And I'm going, I
don't wanna read it.
00:18:52.40\00:18:54.74
You know I wanna cry,
00:18:54.75\00:18:56.56
I'm miserable.
And as I did that,
00:18:56.57\00:19:00.06
it's just that urge again,
00:19:00.07\00:19:01.57
pick it up and read it.
00:19:01.58\00:19:02.67
And finally I
realized you know crying,
00:19:02.68\00:19:05.01
and I was kind of cried out,
00:19:05.02\00:19:06.11
and it was getting boring
00:19:06.12\00:19:07.24
and it wasn't helping anything,
00:19:07.25\00:19:08.73
so I thought
well I might just well
00:19:08.74\00:19:09.80
pick it up and read it.
00:19:09.81\00:19:10.78
Now, I'm the kind of person who
00:19:10.79\00:19:12.50
likes me things
left alone. Amen.
00:19:12.51\00:19:15.58
And even if, if
there maybe messy.
00:19:15.59\00:19:16.56
Don't want them touched.
00:19:16.57\00:19:17.54
They maybe messy
but I know if they've
00:19:17.55\00:19:18.81
been touched. You know,
00:19:18.82\00:19:19.88
just leave my stuff alone,
00:19:19.89\00:19:20.86
and maybe it's
'cause I was almost
00:19:20.87\00:19:21.98
an only child I don't know.
00:19:21.99\00:19:22.96
But I picked it
up, I, planning to read
00:19:22.97\00:19:27.16
while I left it
at July 18 and 19
00:19:27.17\00:19:29.03
and it's no longer there.
00:19:29.04\00:19:30.44
It's now at July 4
and 5 and I'm just in
00:19:30.45\00:19:33.60
shock, who touched my book?
00:19:33.61\00:19:35.67
But I knew nobody been in there,
00:19:35.68\00:19:37.25
my toddler had not been near it
00:19:37.26\00:19:38.92
but it was now July 4 and 5 and
00:19:39.08\00:19:40.73
my eyes just
fell on July 4 and the
00:19:40.74\00:19:43.36
title of it is
Jesus cares and on down
00:19:43.37\00:19:46.34
it says, God,
your heavenly Father,
00:19:46.35\00:19:48.18
will be your husband at hand,
00:19:48.19\00:19:49.65
take counsel to
direct and comfort
00:19:49.66\00:19:51.68
as you need. Oh wow!
00:19:51.69\00:19:52.66
And as I read I
thought what was this about,
00:19:52.67\00:19:55.29
why was it
written, 'cause in this
00:19:55.30\00:19:56.57
particular
devotional book it tells at the
00:19:56.58\00:19:59.11
end why a lot of
them are written,
00:19:59.12\00:20:00.64
at the bottom it
says it was written on
00:20:00.65\00:20:02.99
July 4, 1875 to a sister who
00:20:03.00\00:20:06.47
had recently lost
her husband, oh my.
00:20:06.48\00:20:09.10
And it was a
book this day we got
00:20:09.11\00:20:11.77
by Ellen White
and I, I never thought
00:20:11.78\00:20:16.21
about God being my husband.
00:20:16.22\00:20:17.62
And on down it said, it quotes
00:20:17.63\00:20:19.35
Lamentations 3:33
that He does not willingly
00:20:19.36\00:20:21.50
afflict and on down
it says that I don't need
00:20:21.51\00:20:24.82
to be concerned,
that you know God will
00:20:24.83\00:20:26.35
take care of me, cling to him.
00:20:26.36\00:20:28.07
It's just incredible to me,
00:20:28.08\00:20:29.91
I don't know if he
had an angel come in there
00:20:29.92\00:20:31.57
and turn that book
or zapped it or what.
00:20:31.58\00:20:33.41
You know but ten
days before he tried
00:20:33.42\00:20:35.54
to get me to read it, right.
00:20:35.55\00:20:36.75
And I didn't think
about it being God.
00:20:36.76\00:20:38.34
And even now it was
back there again. Yeah.
00:20:38.35\00:20:40.88
So he tried to get
you to read it and now it
00:20:40.89\00:20:42.39
was back there, that's powerful.
00:20:42.40\00:20:45.04
We do, going through
my husband's death maybe
00:20:45.05\00:20:48.28
realized how much,
how powerful God is
00:20:48.29\00:20:52.00
and how much he
can move in our lives,
00:20:52.01\00:20:53.72
amen, to show us that he cares.
00:20:53.73\00:20:55.41
And there's just
story after story of,
00:20:55.42\00:20:58.11
then I found I
believe because I chose to
00:20:58.12\00:21:00.96
praise God with it,
that opened the doors
00:21:00.97\00:21:03.68
for him to do things
I mean like we had done,
00:21:03.69\00:21:06.39
canceled our life
insurance policy about
00:21:06.40\00:21:09.11
seven or eight
months before and the reason
00:21:09.12\00:21:11.45
was we were fresh out of school,
00:21:11.46\00:21:12.64
we had always
students loans and money was
00:21:12.65\00:21:14.45
just so tight and
I wanted to stay home
00:21:14.46\00:21:15.65
with my kid. And I canceled the
00:21:15.66\00:21:18.02
policy because my husband never
00:21:18.03\00:21:19.42
wanted it, he just says
00:21:19.43\00:21:20.40
I don't need that you know
00:21:20.41\00:21:21.38
we're gonna go to heaven soon,
00:21:21.39\00:21:22.42
we don't need that.
And I started reading
00:21:22.43\00:21:25.00
some of these books
about you need to be
00:21:25.01\00:21:26.14
submissive to your husband,
00:21:26.15\00:21:27.34
and be obedient
where it talks about in the
00:21:27.35\00:21:29.05
New Testament and
I thought well you're
00:21:29.06\00:21:30.58
amazed 'cause I
haven't been submissive,
00:21:30.59\00:21:31.71
maybe that's why
this is happening.
00:21:31.72\00:21:33.02
So I told him that
and we canceled it out,
00:21:33.03\00:21:36.89
just so we can make
ends meet every month.
00:21:36.90\00:21:38.78
And then he goes and dies on me.
00:21:38.79\00:21:42.04
Well, before my dad
left we're sitting on
00:21:42.05\00:21:45.61
the couch there
and he said to me,
00:21:45.62\00:21:47.70
I don't know Janet
how you are gonna make
00:21:47.71\00:21:49.12
in the future but
at least you have your
00:21:49.13\00:21:50.33
life insurance
policy to tied you
00:21:50.34\00:21:51.91
over for a while.
And I had to tell dad,
00:21:51.92\00:21:54.29
I said dad no, I
don't have it but dad is
00:21:54.30\00:21:56.25
like me, he can
get kind of excited,
00:21:56.26\00:21:57.70
he jumps off the couch.
00:21:57.71\00:21:58.68
What! You don't have it!
00:21:58.69\00:21:59.66
What did you do? He says,
00:21:59.67\00:22:00.78
why didn't you tell me,
00:22:00.79\00:22:01.76
your mom and I both work we
00:22:01.77\00:22:02.80
could have helped you.
00:22:02.81\00:22:03.78
And I say well
you know I just didn't
00:22:03.79\00:22:06.05
think about
that, while I went into
00:22:06.06\00:22:08.77
the bedroom
crying. And I kneeled down
00:22:08.78\00:22:10.98
there by my bed
and I took my Bible
00:22:10.99\00:22:13.33
and I opened it up
to those scriptures
00:22:13.34\00:22:15.07
that say be
submissive to your husband.
00:22:15.08\00:22:16.75
And I said Lord
I've done everything that
00:22:16.76\00:22:19.93
I knew to do right.
I've tried to stay home
00:22:19.94\00:22:22.27
and be a mother
to my little boy,
00:22:22.28\00:22:24.30
I tried to obey my husband and I
00:22:24.31\00:22:25.70
canceled that
life insurance policy,
00:22:25.71\00:22:27.11
I've tried to meet
our financial needs.
00:22:27.12\00:22:28.98
I said look where I'm now,
00:22:28.99\00:22:29.96
look at the problem I got.
00:22:29.97\00:22:31.42
I said God I really think
00:22:31.43\00:22:32.78
this is your problem.
00:22:32.79\00:22:33.91
Do you know from
that moment on people
00:22:33.92\00:22:37.55
started sending me money from
00:22:37.56\00:22:39.00
all over this
country, all over the US,
00:22:39.01\00:22:41.18
when they'd
hear about Mike dying
00:22:41.19\00:22:43.18
and they would send me money.
00:22:43.19\00:22:44.37
And some of them I
knew couldn't afford it
00:22:44.38\00:22:46.28
I'd send it back I
said they don't do that
00:22:46.29\00:22:47.98
and they'd send it back and look
00:22:47.99\00:22:49.42
God told us do,
00:22:49.43\00:22:50.40
you keep it we don't want it.
00:22:50.41\00:22:51.55
And at the end of
one I kept track of
00:22:51.56\00:22:54.98
everything that
came into me because
00:22:54.99\00:22:56.44
I was just so
grateful in my journal.
00:22:56.45\00:22:58.40
At the end of one
year I had this impression,
00:22:58.41\00:23:00.47
add up what's
coming to you, and I did.
00:23:00.48\00:23:03.78
And do you know
that it came to the
00:23:03.79\00:23:04.89
exact penny of that
life insurance policy,
00:23:04.90\00:23:07.18
oh wow! That's our God.
00:23:07.19\00:23:08.85
Praise the Lord.
00:23:08.86\00:23:09.83
Even before things happened,
00:23:09.84\00:23:11.43
you know he's got things planned
00:23:11.44\00:23:13.05
how he's gonna take care of us.
00:23:13.06\00:23:14.38
My parents nine
months before my husband died
00:23:14.39\00:23:17.77
and moved into a new house.
00:23:17.78\00:23:19.34
And now when they
had this house built,
00:23:19.35\00:23:20.71
it was in the
suburb you've chose,
00:23:20.72\00:23:22.04
there's three pair
of plants to choose from
00:23:22.05\00:23:23.93
because it was
only the two of them
00:23:23.94\00:23:25.09
they said we'll
do a two bedroom.
00:23:25.10\00:23:26.39
But they kept
having this impression,
00:23:26.40\00:23:28.09
no build a four
bedroom and they thought
00:23:28.10\00:23:29.40
no that's poor stewardship,
00:23:29.41\00:23:31.08
we don't need it. Right.
00:23:31.09\00:23:32.48
But they had such an impression,
00:23:32.49\00:23:34.09
an urgency to do it they built
00:23:34.10\00:23:35.77
a four bedroom.
Nine months later,
00:23:35.78\00:23:37.44
there you are. My husband dies
00:23:37.45\00:23:38.90
and then they know why
00:23:38.91\00:23:40.04
'cause it gave
dad a study as well as
00:23:40.05\00:23:41.53
everybody a bedroom. I see.
00:23:41.54\00:23:43.08
But God had it
planned even before.
00:23:43.09\00:23:44.92
But the beautiful
thing is in scripture God
00:23:44.93\00:23:49.89
talks about that he
will be a husband to
00:23:49.90\00:23:52.57
the widows and I
plead that applies not only
00:23:52.58\00:23:55.83
to women whose
husbands have died but
00:23:55.84\00:23:57.38
women whose
husbands have left them.
00:23:57.39\00:23:59.08
Who divorced them
or even in your home
00:23:59.09\00:24:02.44
if your husband's not the
00:24:02.45\00:24:03.42
spiritual leader, that's right.
00:24:03.43\00:24:04.40
That's just what I was thinking.
00:24:04.41\00:24:05.38
God will be your
husband and he'll
00:24:05.39\00:24:06.92
be a father to your children,
00:24:06.93\00:24:08.24
it tells you that in scripture.
00:24:08.25\00:24:09.54
And I've just found
it happened over and over
00:24:09.55\00:24:13.44
not in my life but
in other woman as I get
00:24:13.45\00:24:15.71
them to chose to
praise God when their husbands
00:24:15.72\00:24:17.82
start running around
or whatever you know we
00:24:17.83\00:24:20.27
pray for it to
stop, we also choose
00:24:20.28\00:24:22.42
to praise Him. And leave it up
00:24:22.43\00:24:25.79
to God to be their husband
00:24:25.80\00:24:26.84
He should be and
just incredible stories.
00:24:26.85\00:24:29.03
God gave this
woman a car off a car lot
00:24:29.04\00:24:31.99
when her car broke
down to get her home,
00:24:32.00\00:24:34.45
and she tells the car dealer,
00:24:34.46\00:24:36.00
you don't know me,
00:24:36.01\00:24:37.33
he says I don't
know you lady but
00:24:37.34\00:24:38.46
you need help.
You take this car.
00:24:38.47\00:24:40.40
Really? Literally.
But things like that
00:24:40.41\00:24:42.46
when we choose
to praise him, amen.
00:24:42.47\00:24:44.64
Wow! But I just
like to tell you one,
00:24:44.65\00:24:46.50
Janet's excited. Isn't she,
00:24:46.51\00:24:48.00
I wanna tell you
one of how God can be
00:24:48.01\00:24:50.67
that husband and then I'll quit.
00:24:50.68\00:24:52.99
I was traveling
my little boy and we
00:24:53.00\00:24:56.18
got into this motel room,
00:24:56.19\00:24:57.48
pretty fairly
late and I had this
00:24:57.49\00:24:59.20
wide mouth thermos
I needed to get open,
00:24:59.21\00:25:01.06
it had the cereal in it.
00:25:01.07\00:25:02.20
And I sat down there on the edge
00:25:02.21\00:25:03.71
of the bed trying to open,
00:25:03.72\00:25:04.69
I couldn't get
open and I said God,
00:25:04.70\00:25:06.89
if my husband were
here he could open it.
00:25:06.90\00:25:08.75
You're my husband,
what are you gonna do,
00:25:08.76\00:25:11.89
you know my
husband was big and strong.
00:25:11.90\00:25:13.44
Right then somebody
tried to come in the
00:25:13.45\00:25:15.62
motel room door and
they had been assigned
00:25:15.63\00:25:19.06
the wrong room and
they apologized said
00:25:19.07\00:25:20.44
we're sorry lady
and I immediately tried
00:25:20.45\00:25:23.09
to shut the door
to close them out
00:25:23.10\00:25:24.60
and I'm leaning
against the door it's just that
00:25:24.61\00:25:26.14
urgency get them
to open your thermos.
00:25:26.15\00:25:28.76
And I said, no I'm
shy I can't do that
00:25:28.77\00:25:30.37
you know get them
to open your thermos,
00:25:30.38\00:25:31.46
so I opened the door I said,
00:25:31.47\00:25:32.44
Mister, can you help me?
00:25:32.45\00:25:33.67
In one quick
turn he had it opened.
00:25:33.68\00:25:35.24
That's our God. Simple. Amen.
00:25:35.25\00:25:37.35
He's got a sense of humor.
00:25:37.36\00:25:38.67
And what he'll do. Amen.
00:25:38.68\00:25:40.83
And you know Lord
has brought me Jerry,
00:25:40.84\00:25:42.86
which is a precious blessing and
00:25:42.87\00:25:45.84
he doesn't, God doesn't always
00:25:45.85\00:25:47.30
work that way but
what God does is he
00:25:47.31\00:25:49.82
will give a such
a peace and a joy.
00:25:49.83\00:25:51.89
In the midst of
these trials when we choose
00:25:51.90\00:25:55.00
to focus on him and praise him.
00:25:55.01\00:25:56.82
To focus on the cross,
00:25:56.83\00:25:58.18
it makes such a
difference. Oh! My.
00:25:58.19\00:26:01.43
You've got quite a story there.
00:26:01.44\00:26:03.10
Made me had tears in my eyes,
00:26:03.11\00:26:04.60
as well as I
was getting a little
00:26:04.61\00:26:06.75
choked up, I hope it wasn't
00:26:06.76\00:26:08.03
disturbance but
to hear a story like
00:26:08.04\00:26:12.61
that just touches my heart,
00:26:12.62\00:26:13.84
and needing a
mate or needing someone
00:26:13.85\00:26:19.88
to do these things for you
00:26:19.89\00:26:20.89
I can just identify.
You've got something.
00:26:20.90\00:26:23.84
That was so good
in all the trials,
00:26:23.85\00:26:25.10
you know, I just
praising for Janet,
00:26:25.11\00:26:27.39
she has been such
a bless in my life.
00:26:27.40\00:26:28.74
I tell her though
that you know every trial
00:26:28.75\00:26:30.42
is so we'll grow in character
00:26:30.43\00:26:32.12
and God gave her me,
00:26:32.13\00:26:33.11
so she would grew in
character that's what.
00:26:33.12\00:26:35.62
But Isaiah 43 I
wanted to, it says now,
00:26:35.63\00:26:39.45
thus says the
Lord, who created you,
00:26:39.46\00:26:40.99
O Jacob, he who
formed you, O Israel:
00:26:41.00\00:26:42.96
"Fear not, for I
have redeemed you;
00:26:42.97\00:26:44.89
I have called you by
your name; you're Mine.
00:26:44.90\00:26:46.71
When you pass
through the waters,
00:26:46.72\00:26:48.34
I will be with you;
and through the rivers,
00:26:48.35\00:26:49.95
they will not overflow you.
00:26:49.96\00:26:50.99
When you walk through the fire,
00:26:51.00\00:26:52.82
you will not be burned,
00:26:52.83\00:26:53.80
nor shall the flame scorch you.
00:26:53.81\00:26:55.43
I understand that this promise,
00:26:55.44\00:26:58.03
Ellen White says
this promise was sent to
00:26:58.04\00:26:59.59
the friends of
Daniel in Babylon before
00:26:59.60\00:27:03.63
they went on in
the fiery furnace.
00:27:03.64\00:27:04.81
When you walk through the fire,
00:27:04.82\00:27:06.34
I'll be with you, right, right.
00:27:06.35\00:27:07.56
And so that's the way it is,
00:27:07.57\00:27:08.78
our trials and if I
got time to read this
00:27:08.79\00:27:11.24
one statement from
Ministry Healing 474,
00:27:11.25\00:27:13.26
it's just
beautiful, In the future life
00:27:13.27\00:27:14.58
the mysterious that
here have annoyed and
00:27:14.59\00:27:16.31
disappointed us
will be made plain.
00:27:16.32\00:27:17.99
We shall see that
our seemingly unanswered
00:27:18.00\00:27:20.91
prayers and disappointed hopes
00:27:20.92\00:27:22.56
have been among
our greatest blessings.
00:27:22.57\00:27:24.04
I've got a whole
list of shut doors,
00:27:24.05\00:27:25.58
of things I wanted
so much in my life,
00:27:25.59\00:27:27.19
I prayed for, but one guy said,
00:27:27.20\00:27:29.27
if God really wanted
to punish me he would
00:27:29.28\00:27:30.71
answer all my prayers yes,
00:27:30.72\00:27:31.98
and God has shut many doors for
00:27:31.99\00:27:33.38
my good and my blessing
00:27:33.39\00:27:34.52
and I'll understand
in eternity. Oh wow!
00:27:34.53\00:27:36.65
Our time now has all run out and
00:27:36.66\00:27:40.04
I want to invite
our guests back with us
00:27:40.05\00:27:42.25
again and I
think I'll ask Janet to
00:27:42.26\00:27:44.06
lead us out in prayer.
00:27:44.07\00:27:45.04
Father, I wanna thank
you for all the people
00:27:47.10\00:27:49.32
that have prayed for
me through the grief of
00:27:49.33\00:27:52.48
my husband dying
all across this country.
00:27:52.49\00:27:54.90
Lord, help us to
support others as they
00:27:54.91\00:27:57.45
go through
tragedies not just to pray,
00:27:57.46\00:27:59.17
during the time.
00:27:59.18\00:28:00.42