Participants: Richard O'Ffill, Kathy Matthews
Series Code: TAH
Program Code: TAH000137
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00:31 Hello, I'm Kathy Matthews and welcome back
00:34 to Thinking About Home. 00:36 We're continuing our series on Plain Talk. 00:39 And this time it's going to be 00:41 plain talk to grandparents. 00:42 We have our guest is director of 00:46 Men's Ministries of the Seventh-day Adventist 00:48 Church in the Florida conference 00:50 and that's Pastor Dick O'Ffill. 00:52 Welcome again, not only the director 00:55 of men's ministries but also a grandfather. 00:58 Oh well I'm not a grandparent yet. 01:00 Well you should start you know, do you think so, 01:04 you just start getting your daughters ready for that, 01:06 groomed, and say. I want you to promise me one thing 01:08 that once that you found just the right sons-in-law 01:13 make sure that you start thinking 01:15 of make me a grandma, 01:16 will you be looking, will you be looking for them? 01:18 Of course. Do you know what, 01:21 well since I'm not a grandparent though 01:23 you're gonna have to tell me what it's like? 01:24 Yeah, I'll kind of go through this one, 01:26 I'll kind of walk you through this one, okay. 01:27 this would be kind of a 101 for Kathy Matthews, 01:30 for being a grandma, okay, for grand parenting. 01:32 By the way you know when we say the word 01:34 grandma or grandpa it just sounds old. 01:37 It really sounds old, but I think my parents were 01:41 grandparents when they were in the 40's still. 01:43 You know so being a grandma or a grandpa 01:45 is not something for old people, it just sounds old. 01:48 And we were really don't have to direct it 01:50 to grandparents but people 01:51 with parents with mature children. 01:53 Well you know, as you and I talk about this program 01:55 we said well not everybody is a grandparent 01:59 but so let's include sort of the emptiness situation 02:03 where we've raised our children. 02:05 They've grown on and they may not 02:07 have made as grandparents yet. 02:09 But at least they're, you know they've gone on, 02:11 may they're single still, may be they're married, 02:15 they've gone on with their lives but our original 02:18 influence has been somewhere diminished. 02:19 Right, right. But let me tell you about my 02:21 grand children, do you have a couple of hours? 02:22 And so do I have. 02:24 If you can get it in 28 minutes it'd be alright. 02:26 Do I have, you know, yeah I lose count 02:30 but I think I have four grandsons 02:34 and three grand daughters as of this speaking 02:37 and the youngest one, her name is Megan 02:41 and she is 2 years old and she calls me Grandpa. 02:45 Like that, and so, some of the others 02:50 even the 16 year old boy was the oldest or 15 02:53 he calls me grandpa honey, oh really. 02:56 And it's just a special thing we have, 02:58 do you know Kathy there is something about, 03:00 and this is the boy. Oh sure. 03:02 There is a closeness that I think that potentially 03:06 we as grandparents have with our grandchildren 03:08 that you never even can imagine 03:10 that we would have with our own children, 03:11 it's wonderful. Why is that? 03:13 I don't know how to account for it, 03:15 it's a special relationship it was meant to be 03:18 because and I think of my own children 03:23 and the role that their grandparents 03:25 my mother-in-law for example or my mother 03:27 played in their development. 03:28 It's just what we call the extended family 03:30 and how important it is. 03:32 And when this extended family can function 03:34 in the way that it was meant to function 03:36 what a strength that can be. 03:37 And we know what a support it can be to the children. 03:40 Well you can, I can tell you enjoyed a lot. 03:43 I sure do Grandpa when I go home 03:47 they'll say hi Grandpa. I enjoy that a lot. 03:50 Well how guilty should we feel, 03:51 let me ask you another question now. 03:53 How guilty should we feel if our children 03:56 don't turn out the way we hoped? 03:59 Now Kathy you're doing plain talk, that's what. 04:03 Because, and I say this because probably 04:06 if the truth be known that for the majority of us, 04:11 us parents with grown children, 04:15 our children didn't all turn out 04:17 to be ministers and Bible workers. 04:19 And I really haven't done account on it 04:23 but probably in a huge number of cases, 04:26 there are even children you know they are those of us 04:30 whose children may not even be in the faith anymore. 04:32 I know one of my children was lost to me 04:37 into the Lord for ten years. 04:39 For ten years I had a prodigal son, 04:41 yeah. And but the Lord has given him back, 04:44 he's healed him again so I know those feelings 04:46 and you know I remember you remind, 04:50 I'll tell you kind of a personal story. 04:53 My wife's name is Betty by the way, 04:54 that's my mother in-law's name 04:56 and so I remember one day when, 04:58 by the way I was the health intemperance person 05:04 for the first time, I think the first time 05:05 I ever heard you, you were in that position. 05:07 Well I still am, or you still, oh I still am. 05:09 You know they might add something, 05:11 but they don't take anything away. 05:12 And so at that time and I think can refer back 05:15 to this and still be respectful of the family 05:19 and at that time there was a 15 year old girl 05:23 who was expecting what would be my granddaughter. 05:26 And she wasn't my daughter-in-law yet. 05:29 Oh and my, one of my sons was taking drugs and 05:34 so forth and Betty came home from work one day. 05:37 And she's, her face was just expressionless, 05:41 I mean you know. How you might expect that you know 05:43 was she's coming home and she's preoccupied 05:45 or she's thinking about something else. 05:47 But, I mean it wasn't just a minute or two 05:49 it was just and I said honey what's wrong. 05:51 And she said, oh she said somebody came to work today, 05:55 some well meaning person, it didn't mean anything, 05:57 it wasn't an insult and just happen to say Betty 06:02 you know I'm sure you're going through a whole lot, 06:07 I'm praying for you. No, no that's innocuous 06:09 that was a wonderful thing to say 06:10 but it caught Betty wrong. 06:12 And Betty said you know, she says I think 06:15 I feel so ashamed to myself I think 06:17 I ought to wear dark glasses to work, 06:18 and she is, incognito, yeah she is, 06:20 I feel like Mrs. Bundy, oh. 06:22 And I said oh honey please don't feel that way, 06:25 I said they love us. They love us, 06:28 the people love us and I can say this you know 06:31 because it's been a number of years now. 06:32 That when it came time for a baby shower 06:35 that there must have been 50 women at that shower, 06:39 really. And they were the grandma types 06:41 you know they were supposed legalist types, 06:44 the people that they say are legalists, 06:45 that people talk about as legalist. 06:46 They were 50 of those women came for that 06:49 baby shower, and I just wanted to cry 06:51 and I said what an outpouring of love. 06:53 But I guess you ask me the question 06:55 is to how guilty should we feel. 06:57 I can't ever remember waking up in the morning 07:01 and saying I think I want to mess up 07:03 my children's lives. I mean, can you, you know, 07:05 now may be some devil would think that. 07:08 But I did the best I could and you're asking 07:12 the question how guilty should we feel. 07:14 Now I know there are parents who feel that the fact 07:18 that their children may have left the faith 07:20 or their children are having you know 07:21 some real sad experience, they're to blame, yes. 07:25 And they say it's my fault you know, 07:27 if I hadn't done this or if I can only do it again. 07:29 And I think Kathy that we've got to get past that. 07:33 Are you saying that you don't think we could critic 07:37 ourselves for future help toward the grandchildren? 07:40 Well, as I look back, or even for the children, 07:44 and let me tell you something. 07:45 I have actually asked my grown children 07:48 to forgive me for things that I did in the past. 07:53 Now, it's not like I was some criminal in the past, 07:56 yes. But for lapses of judgment or for moments 07:59 in which I wasn't as kind and I've said honey, 08:01 please forgive daddy for that. 08:03 But yet, I can't carry that into the present, right, 08:07 because how can I live my life over again? 08:10 But you've done what would be required. 08:12 Well I can't live my life over again 08:14 so in the first place, so you need to be move on. 08:16 What good would it do? 08:17 If I were to see myself 08:19 as to blame which is not true. 08:22 Is to blame for whatever my children turn out 08:26 to be then what can I do about it. 08:27 I can't go back and do it again. 08:29 So that isn't even constructive. 08:32 And also you know if I say that I'm to blame 08:36 for the way my children turn out or anybody 08:41 out there, you feel I'm to blame. 08:43 Well then how can God have a judgment because 08:45 a judgment presupposes personal responsibility. 08:49 So if it was true that how our children end up 08:52 is the fault of the parents then that means 08:56 that God couldn't have a judgment 08:58 because we could all be blaming our parents. 09:00 And the media would be correct. 09:02 Well you know that, we could discuss that, 09:06 the society not media. 09:07 Because everything these days is about 09:09 somebody else is to blame, right. 09:11 Nobody taking accountability and responsibility 09:13 nobody taking responsibility. 09:14 But really you know to answer your question, 09:17 I don't think it's healthy or correct 09:22 or effective or constructive. 09:23 You know to look back and say well the thing 09:26 is that my children are doing are because of me. 09:29 I've repented of my full faults 09:32 and of my mistakes and errors. 09:34 And doesn't Jesus forgive, yes. 09:37 If we confess ourselves, can't I get on with my life? 09:40 That's the way I feel it and I think I will say 09:43 that to parents and grandparents 09:45 who are listening or watching this program 09:49 and that is let's get on with our lives. 09:52 Let's get on with our lives. 09:54 Now how that involved do you think we ought 09:55 to get in our children and our grandchildren. 09:57 You mean now that they're grown, yes. 09:59 Well yes. Well that obviously see, 10:02 this is a thing of course your, 10:05 you know your children; well I'm not dealing 10:07 with as mature children as you are. 10:09 I was going to say you got a teenager 10:10 and a young adult yes. And Sarah and Rachel, 10:13 so I think I need to be fairly involved 10:16 still with even my elder one. 10:18 You are involved, you are involved and of course 10:20 I think this is one of the challenges 10:21 that we as parents and grandparents have is that 10:24 obviously there was a time in which we decided 10:27 when they go to bed, when they get up, 10:28 when they take a bath, oh well I'm not talking 10:30 about that, when they eat, how they dress, 10:31 you understand, yes. But what I'm saying is that 10:33 especially you as mothers 10:34 this can get locked into your head. 10:36 Yes, and so when it gets to the time when they begin 10:40 to have to make their own decisions, right, 10:43 and you see I think we have to understand 10:46 that it's alright for me as a parent to decide 10:52 when my 9 year old goes to bed. 10:55 But then I've got to, when they get to be 39 10:58 I've got to get past that well. Well I don't know, 11:01 to me that just seem to be a given. 11:04 Well but there are those few cases. 11:06 Now it might not be about when to go to bed. 11:07 But there is this kind of a toxic dependency, 11:11 in other words there would be those cases in which 11:14 the relationship is such that though the parent is, 11:17 though the child is not doing 11:19 what the parent is saying, that there is 11:21 this kind of toxic what do you call it, 11:23 codependency, codependency What about the other side 11:26 though where there is no involvement at all. 11:28 Well you know, you have that ability, don't you? 11:32 To say what about this or what about that. 11:34 Well I don't think that we have to choose 11:37 one bad choice or another, you know this makes me, 11:41 oh you're calling it a bad choice. 11:43 I probably am, because you know sometimes people 11:45 will come to you and they will say what do you, 11:46 believe do you believe this or do you believe that? 11:48 And you want to say give me another choice, yes. 11:51 And so you're saying Dick, what about the others, 11:53 well obviously, obviously we are involved, 11:56 in other words I could say that I'm not going be 11:59 involved in adult children's lives but I'm sorry, 12:02 I am involved even my uninvolvement is involvement. 12:07 Even if I'm not gonna look this is impacting them. 12:10 Because you see then pretty soon 12:11 this thing pops up you don't care. 12:13 Not caring is involvement, 12:15 it's a perception, they don't care. 12:19 Go on now, can you go, non-involvement 12:22 is an involvement in their mind 12:24 because where do your parents, 12:26 our parents fit into this, they don't care. 12:28 How are they involved, well in other words, 12:30 they don't care about me, 12:31 in the mind of the person it's controlling 12:33 to them or it's having its effect. 12:35 It's having its effect, yes. And so I think, 12:37 but I think your question is very legitimate is that. 12:41 Well Abraham was involved for a long time, 12:44 well you see I've lived in countries 12:45 where you decided, your parents decided 12:47 who is gonna marry you. 12:48 I don't think you want to get into that. 12:52 I thought I've already been into that. 12:55 No, don't misunderstand. 12:57 But you know what I've noticed, 12:59 I love my children and they love me. 13:01 But you know even when they're in their 30s, 13:04 all my children are in there 30s, 13:05 they still long for the blessing 13:08 and the approval of their father. 13:10 That blows my mind, 13:11 and that's the good part of involvement. 13:12 But that blows my mind though. 13:14 Because you see this means that they see me 13:16 as a accountable in a way 13:18 that I don't still precede myself. 13:20 And you see the dilemma that sets upon 13:23 that is when a child gets to be our of their own 13:27 they make decisions on their own 13:29 without consulting you and then 13:31 they want you to approve them. 13:32 That's pretty, that's pretty complicate, it's tough. 13:36 And I might say that for me this is one of the most 13:39 difficult roles that I play 13:42 and that I'm supposed to be supportive, 13:44 for things you don't approve of, exactly. 13:49 In other words they're going to do it, 13:50 I don't get a vote, tie my hands. 13:54 And I'm supposed to be accepting, 13:56 yes yeah that's hard. 13:58 I remember and I can say this you know, is it right. 14:01 I remember my boy saying to me when he was in his 14:06 real slump, taking drugs and all. 14:08 He said you just accept me the way I am, 14:10 I remember we were eating at the time spaghetti plate. 14:14 And I remember tears came into my eyes. 14:15 And I said son I can never accept you until 14:19 you return to Jesus and his tears came. 14:22 You see it wasn't, he must have understood 14:23 what you mean by that. It didn't mean that, 14:24 it didn't mean I don't love you honey, 14:26 it didn't mean you're not my son it mean son 14:29 I'll not rest until you've come back, 14:31 and he understood that, he understood that. 14:33 And so I think that there is this very delicate thing, 14:36 I might say that at this stage in my life 14:38 is one of the hardest things I do. 14:39 Is that I love my children see, 14:42 I love my children but then, you know why do I cry, 14:45 I cry because if I didn't love him I wouldn't cry, yes. 14:47 If I did really care I wouldn't care but the fact 14:51 that I care so much. But you see this could be 14:54 misinterpreted, it's a very delicate thing. 14:56 Sometimes I think it's almost a lose-lose situation. 15:00 But we keep trying, we keep trying, 15:03 and I try to be affirmative you know to be affirming 15:08 I should say and let them know I care 15:10 but at the same time you know after being around 15:14 for this many years, I don't want to tell them 15:16 everything that they do I think is neat. 15:18 How can I do that, I would have to be an idiot. 15:22 Well are you expected to be an idiot. 15:26 Well sometimes you have to make a fool of yourself 15:29 and sometimes you end up losing for the moment 15:33 even though I think, Airing on the side of mercy. 15:36 And I think too that our children as they look back 15:40 on us because you see they might be living 15:44 in the short terms, see we've been around awhile, 15:47 we've seen things long term. 15:48 You remember when we were younger 15:50 we saw its short term, no. 15:51 Yes, you can't remember back that far. No. 15:53 Yes, I can. Anyway, anyway, anyway, 15:57 see our children are looking for short term things 15:59 we see at long term, so we have ability to project 16:03 a result that they don't have. 16:05 And I think that at least in my life that my children 16:09 have tended to give me when they'll look back 16:11 they will say well dad you were right and I remember 16:13 even one of my children saying oh daddy 16:15 this was not about you, this was not your failure 16:17 it was my selfishness, yes, you were right. 16:19 You always love me, you raised me right, 16:21 see, but at the time they wouldn't have said that. 16:24 Yes. They could only say that when like the 16:26 prodigal son they came to themselves. 16:28 You don't find any satisfaction at that point, 16:30 you just find a thankfulness that they can see 16:36 what God wants them to see. 16:38 And that is if your motives are correct 16:41 and you are thinking right, you know. 16:43 But it's an ongoing challenge I think for those of us 16:46 whose children are grown and the question 16:49 is a good one, how much should we get involved. 16:51 Probably we should get involved as, to answer 16:54 specifically as little and as appropriately as possible. 16:57 Well, I'm glad you added that last word appropriately 17:00 as possible and as a little means some, 17:04 that's right of course, okay, of course. 17:07 I want to invite our audience to write or call 3ABN 17:12 and on future topics for Thinking About Home, 17:15 they could make some suggestions if you want you can. 17:18 And you see the address is 3ABN, PO Box 220, 17:25 West Frankfort, Illinois 62896 17:28 and it's easy enough to get our 800 number 17:30 but I'll tell you 1-800-752-3226. 17:35 Now Dick, I've heard this word detachment. 17:39 You know I learned this word when I was attending 17:43 Al-Anon believe it or not, oh really. 17:45 Al-Anon you know is the, you've heard 17:48 of the alcoholics anonymous, yes, 17:51 and the narcotics anonymous, yes. 17:54 Al-Anon is the side for the families of the, 17:58 the effected people, right. 18:00 I think one of the greatest blessings that came 18:02 from that whole experience that I had in Al-Anon 18:06 was the concept of detachment and I think it is, 18:08 and I don't think we are only talking about addictions 18:12 and things like that. I think we're talking about 18:14 relationships to each other and I think earlier in the 18:17 program we used the word a kind of a co-dependency. 18:20 You see if my life is going to be such 18:23 that when my children are up, I'm up 18:25 or when they're down, I'm down. 18:26 What kind of a life will I have now, a roller coaster, 18:31 it's a roller coaster, 'cause I don't get votes. 18:34 See in other words they're living their own lives. 18:36 So I think that challenge we have is parents 18:38 with adult children and as grandparents is that 18:42 we're connected by love but we've separated ourselves 18:45 in a way emotionally, you're not severing. 18:48 No, no way. But we're able to continue so that 18:54 we're not being just dragged along by what they do. 18:56 Do we feel it, do we feel it, yes we feel it. 18:59 But it's not destroying us. 19:01 You know there are crisis that our children have 19:04 maybe with some of the more extreme cases 19:06 of alcoholism and drug addiction. 19:08 But even other things that break up marriages. 19:11 And so I think Betty, my wife and I, 19:15 we were really blessed that we went through 19:17 some real crisis, you know world class crisis 19:19 but instead of splitting us apart 19:22 it actually drew us closer together and I think 19:25 that the Lord actually helped us to detach ourselves 19:28 in such a way that we were able to through 19:31 these things get on with our lives. 19:32 And you had learned to do that. 19:35 And of course we've got to, some times when people 19:38 get into problems in their lives 19:40 and they talk to me about it, 19:41 I'll say go down to Al-Anon because they won't ask 19:43 why you're there and just sit around the table. 19:46 And you know once they've introduced themselves 19:49 hello I'm Dick you know they'll go around the table 19:52 then you just raise your hand and say 19:54 talk to me about detachment. 19:56 And what you'll hear there can mean so much 19:59 for the marriage and the relationship with children 20:01 or just problems that are getting us down. 20:04 We have to be able to go through our problems, 20:07 remember the text that, we'll with the trial make 20:10 a way of escape. You don't get out of that 20:12 but you get through it, yes. And I think the only 20:15 way we can get through but certain problem 20:17 is by doing kind of an emotional and spiritual 20:19 detachment. At least this is the way it's been 20:22 in my life. Especially if you have children who 20:27 have wandered away from the truth, oh yeah, 20:29 and who are just making that, what we perceive 20:32 as being decisions that are just off the wall. 20:34 Yes, yes. And you're saying don't do that, 20:37 don't do that, why are you doing, okay. 20:40 Let's move on to how to we treat each other 20:43 after the nest is empty. You know that's an 20:47 important question, what do they call that, 20:48 is there a name for that, the phenomena of the 20:51 emptiness or the Emptiness Syndrome. 20:54 Because obviously when a couple have had that 20:57 children, you see the couple could have been 21:00 untied only in the children. Yes, and that's 21:03 happened I'm sure many times. 21:05 And so, and the thing that keeps them together. 21:08 They're really not friends, they really don't know 21:10 each other very well, but they've had something 21:12 in common and they've had sons and daughters. 21:14 And now suddenly the sons and daughters 21:16 are gone and there you'll find yourself with his 21:20 person that you don't know or may not even like. 21:24 And this is why I think it's so important that 21:27 as we raise our children, that we have a friendship 21:32 among ourselves that's beyond our children or 21:34 in spite of our children, right. We were friends 21:37 before our children were born, right. 21:39 And we're going have to be friends after our 21:42 children are gone. Some may have to learn how 21:44 to do that all over again. Well I think so because 21:45 we have to kind of recreate our lives. 21:47 I think that this is just a pragmatic challenge, 21:51 in other words while we've been occupied 21:53 putting them through college and through an 21:56 academy and getting whatever it was depending 21:58 on their age. Kind of lost the relationship with 22:00 each other, suddenly that's gone, that's gone. 22:01 What am I gonna do with my time. 22:04 How am I going to carve out a life, 22:06 that's especially for the mother it seems like 22:08 more so than the father? I think she's the one. 22:09 I think she's the one that takes the hit as 22:12 we would say mostly and has the crisis 22:15 and who am I. It is a crisis, it is. 22:18 I can, it's not as much emptiness, 22:22 but I've felt it even with our older daughter leaving, 22:25 she's only 19 at this point. But when she left 22:30 because we've had, we had been together so much 22:32 for home schooling and it wasn't send your children 22:35 off everyday, we were there. 22:37 We were around each other all the time and 22:41 it was like a death in the family, 22:42 it was the band across my chest every time 22:45 I looked at a room I would weep, oh have mercy. 22:47 And it was painful. But in time, 22:50 I got over a lot of it and as long as that 22:54 relationship kept going. You know you developed 22:58 another type of relationship, of course. 23:01 But I had to learn how to do that? 23:02 We've got to tell our audience that little Rachel 23:05 is still around to comfort our mind, yes, 23:07 I know she is. Maybe she's doing a lot of comforting. 23:10 The emptiness though could lead to well there 23:18 could be some problems involved, 23:19 in getting to know each other again they 23:21 could involve bitterness over some situations from. 23:25 You see, I think that this is one of the challenges 23:27 that we face that's probably connected what 23:29 we were saying about the feeling of guilt. 23:32 Because if I accept guilt as being valid, 23:37 then I think I'm going to feel bitter and when 23:40 I begin to feel bitter I'm going to begin to look 23:42 for somebody to blame. So then, either 23:46 I'm going to begin to blame myself which 23:48 let's say I blame myself but you know a person 23:51 who is even bitter against themselves is soon 23:54 going to be about to express that bitterness 23:55 on others. Yes, spill over, it's a spill over and 23:59 it's kind of like a house of cards, it begins to just 24:02 splatter. And so I think that this is one of the 24:07 greatest challenges that we have and it has 24:09 to do with what I call Kathy Christianity 101. 24:14 See the problems we are having in our lives are 24:17 not because we don't know the deep things of God 24:20 or the Greek and the Hebrew. You know if I just 24:23 knew Greek and Hebrew my problems would be 24:25 over or if I just knew all that there was you know 24:28 writings of the Spirit of Prophecy my problems 24:31 would be over. No. Some of the basics. 24:34 Listen our basic problem it seems to me in the 24:36 21st century, is that we are refusing to repent 24:40 which means we refuse to admit that we're wrong. 24:43 And that's what we're called to do and we're 24:45 refusing to forgive those who've wronged us, 24:50 those who've sinned against us. 24:51 And so as long as we're going to harden our 24:53 hearts we're going to pay the price. 24:56 And the first thing that goes up in smoke is 24:58 probably going to be our marriage. 25:01 Our marriage comes to pieces. 25:04 A couple where there is bitterness and resentment 25:07 brought on by the stubbornness of heart. 25:08 It's all over but it's not like some incurable 25:13 disease. Because there is no temptation taken us, 25:16 the promise is clear, if we confess our sins. 25:20 He is faithful and just to forgive, you know. 25:23 But people refusing to confess. 25:25 Oh no because it's not the end thing to do. 25:29 You know I have this little thing that I say 25:31 you've heard the little saying, to err is human 25:36 to forgive divine, divine. You know I spend that 25:39 to err is human, not to admit it is dumb. 25:45 And it's really. But it's true. It's really not 25:46 funny though. Because if we don't admit our 25:50 mistakes we're gonna repeat them. 25:52 And if we don't forgive, if keep bitterness 25:55 and resentment in our hearts we will be 25:57 continually what should I say acting out our 26:00 revenge on all our decisions. In other words if 26:03 I have bitterness and resentment toward anyone 26:04 in my life, it'll effect every decision I make, 26:07 I'll be getting even with somebody. 26:10 We re-living it, oh we never get away from it. 26:14 We never get away from it. Got you slaved, captive, 26:17 exactly. We are basically a slave to our memories, 26:21 to our, and especially to our bitterness and 26:23 resentment. Unless we have the gift of 26:25 forgiveness, exactly, yes. Which God's so 26:28 graciously promising for us. That's our way 26:30 of escape. Yeah. So there is hope for us as 26:34 our children grow older and we've just got to 26:36 recognize that time goes on. We change you see 26:40 we have not only the phenomena of our children 26:42 growing up but we have the phenomena 26:44 and I think we are gonna touch that in a program 26:45 of we ourselves began to get older, yes. 26:48 And how will we relate to our, no not me just you. 26:52 Not me, see you're old already, I,m sorry. 26:54 Well I think you've been old all your life 26:56 and that's what you keep telling me. 26:58 Well see it's my gray hair. Some people think 26:59 I was born with gray hair. I know you're always 27:03 teasing about that, yes that's right. 27:05 I have a, you know my father went through 27:09 continual asking of forgiveness as he got older. 27:11 But then there came a time when I think he 27:13 finally accepted that, amen. And he needed 27:16 that very much so. But now our time is getting 27:19 awfully short and we're going to have close 27:21 the program up. You are going to be back. 27:22 Yes, I surely, there is going to be a time or two 27:24 more I think. I want to you invite you to join us 27:27 again on Thinking About Home, but before we go 27:30 we're going to have a prayer for you, please 27:32 join us in prayer as well. Heavenly Father, 27:35 we're thankful that we have children and Lord 27:39 that we could raise them up now they're grown 27:40 and we don't make their decisions for them 27:42 anymore. Lord, we pray that you'll not only 27:45 be with them and help them in their adult 27:47 lives as parents themselves but help us as 27:50 grandparents. And as parents with grown 27:53 children to have wisdom. Yes. 27:55 Help us have understanding, 27:56 Lord help us to be kind, help us to be gentle. |
Revised 2014-12-17