Hi, I am Kathy Matthews and 00:00:31.68\00:00:33.11 this is Thinking About Home. 00:00:33.14\00:00:34.34 We've been discussing many subjects on home 00:00:35.22\00:00:39.85 and family and we are in part 3 of a 00:00:39.88\00:00:42.71 series called Plain Talk. And today we're going to 00:00:42.74\00:00:46.04 be discussing more about Plain Talk 00:00:46.07\00:00:48.97 to wives and women. Our guest today is 00:00:49.47\00:00:53.47 director of Men's Ministries of the Florida 00:00:53.84\00:00:56.83 Conference of Seventh -Day Adventist Pastor 00:00:56.86\00:00:58.51 Dick O'Ffill. How are you? Well thank you, 00:00:58.54\00:01:01.25 as I was listening to you make the introduction 00:01:02.29\00:01:04.29 I thought of the words Plain Talk, what's Plain 00:01:04.32\00:01:07.70 Talk means, what means that. It' just Plain Talk, 00:01:07.73\00:01:10.17 it means we're gonna do Plain Talk and then 00:01:10.20\00:01:12.15 I was thinking when you introduced me as the 00:01:12.18\00:01:14.24 Director of Men's Ministry for the Florida 00:01:14.60\00:01:16.30 Conference. Especially we are talking to woman; 00:01:16.33\00:01:17.87 I know I thought of it. It is like who are you to talk 00:01:18.55\00:01:21.06 about. Well obviously, Kathy it's gonna be up 00:01:21.09\00:01:23.97 from mans point of view, because I am sure that 00:01:24.00\00:01:27.22 woman have lot to say about men but from a 00:01:27.25\00:01:30.58 feminine point of view, from woman's point of view. 00:01:31.16\00:01:32.81 Well you know I think lot of times what we here is 00:01:32.84\00:01:35.22 what woman think, there is a mood, there is such a 00:01:35.25\00:01:38.68 mood where it everything you see in here is what 00:01:38.71\00:01:41.56 woman think I rarely get to hear what men think. 00:01:41.59\00:01:45.45 Can I tell you something between us, am I wrong, 00:01:46.05\00:01:48.01 maybe it's just me. I am gonna, I am just simply 00:01:48.94\00:01:51.52 gonna bear what you are saying that oh I hardly 00:01:51.55\00:01:55.18 have the courage to say this do you know that 00:01:55.21\00:01:57.42 when woman get together correct me if I am wrong 00:01:57.45\00:01:59.19 woman will get together and talk about their 00:01:59.47\00:02:01.58 husbands you know what doesn't happen, 00:02:01.61\00:02:03.42 men getting together and talk about their wives, 00:02:03.84\00:02:05.24 they don't talk about their wives, 00:02:05.27\00:02:06.24 this is a strange thing. Now they might talk 00:02:06.57\00:02:08.46 about things they shouldn't talk about, 00:02:08.49\00:02:09.78 but they don't talk about their wives. 00:02:10.18\00:02:11.65 And so I merely saying it's really true that we 00:02:12.34\00:02:16.60 do hear a woman's perspective and I think 00:02:16.63\00:02:20.90 as we said in earlier programs there is a kind 00:02:20.93\00:02:23.50 of revolution going on men are being kind of 00:02:23.53\00:02:25.97 disenfranchised in fact maybe I am using the 00:02:26.00\00:02:29.73 word that is too strong almost being 00:02:29.76\00:02:30.95 emasculated, yes, that the masculine role 00:02:30.98\00:02:34.03 is being re-examined being redefine, 00:02:34.70\00:02:36.81 but I really feel that the problem we face is 00:02:37.32\00:02:42.74 not a problem, the problem in the home is 00:02:42.77\00:02:44.60 not a man's problem it's the men and the women 00:02:44.63\00:02:47.25 and I think that's why we've chosen to talk 00:02:47.43\00:02:48.81 about, about wives and woman today. 00:02:48.84\00:02:51.46 Well literally it's the sinful nature, it's the 00:02:51.49\00:02:53.68 sin in us, I think so, this is the problem, 00:02:53.71\00:02:55.71 but you know it's identified as men or 00:02:55.83\00:02:58.15 women, that's right and we do have our unique 00:02:58.18\00:03:00.23 problems there is no, no doubt about that, 00:03:00.26\00:03:03.07 but if the women got together and solved 00:03:03.31\00:03:06.76 all their problems and then we still have the 00:03:06.79\00:03:09.89 men's problems. If the men get together and 00:03:09.92\00:03:11.33 solved all their, but you can't do that because all 00:03:11.36\00:03:13.49 the women's problems are men's problems, 00:03:13.52\00:03:15.27 it's not possible, that's true, that's good. 00:03:15.30\00:03:18.64 I wanted to ask you this question how do you 00:03:20.02\00:03:22.30 suppose that the Women's Lib Movement has 00:03:22.33\00:03:25.09 affected women as wives. Well now remember what 00:03:25.12\00:03:28.41 we said, because it has affected, absolutely 00:03:28.44\00:03:30.11 as I would we just said a moment ago this is gonna 00:03:30.36\00:03:32.18 be from a man's perspective, a man's 00:03:32.21\00:03:34.31 perspective, and anyway I think that there needed 00:03:34.34\00:03:39.40 to be a midcourse correction and in other 00:03:39.43\00:03:44.15 words, it's kind of late course isn't it, well 00:03:44.18\00:03:45.57 better late then never show you say, oh yes, 00:03:46.79\00:03:48.37 better late then never, midstream you mean, 00:03:48.40\00:03:50.66 midstream and so the worst things that needed 00:03:50.69\00:03:53.69 to be corrected and but however perhaps this is 00:03:53.72\00:03:57.63 an over statement, but way up high there are 00:03:57.66\00:04:01.16 women's organizations that are led of course by 00:04:01.19\00:04:03.64 women and these women are not always 00:04:03.67\00:04:06.89 sympathetic to the home I don't think I need to 00:04:06.92\00:04:09.14 go in great details, so way up high philosophically, 00:04:09.17\00:04:13.66 what might appear to liberate women in its 00:04:15.05\00:04:17.75 most extreme manifestations 00:04:17.78\00:04:19.57 could be an enemy of the home as we've known 00:04:20.11\00:04:22.36 and understood couldn't it. Well I think it has been 00:04:22.39\00:04:25.15 I don't think it could be think it definitely has been. 00:04:25.18\00:04:27.37 I have a friend that went to affair and I think the 00:04:27.40\00:04:33.15 idea of Women's Lib is to uplift women. 00:04:33.18\00:04:35.05 Well, at a booth there she realized that she had 00:04:36.13\00:04:40.11 to do with this women's lib and other 00:04:40.14\00:04:43.32 organization, and she was downed for having long 00:04:43.35\00:04:47.06 hair for a lady that was progressive wouldn't 00:04:47.09\00:04:52.05 have really long hair, okay, okay, okay and 00:04:52.08\00:04:54.99 suddenly wouldn't be happy just being a mother 00:04:55.02\00:04:58.16 at home. So it was downing you as a woman, 00:04:58.19\00:05:01.37 yeah, and you know it's interesting how it can 00:05:01.40\00:05:05.33 down you in one way and lift you up another, 00:05:05.36\00:05:07.47 but it supposed to be all for women, but that didn't 00:05:07.50\00:05:11.14 work they backfired for her when she heard this 00:05:11.17\00:05:13.38 it didn't make her impressed by this 00:05:13.62\00:05:15.85 women's lib attitude, feminist attitude, 00:05:15.88\00:05:18.14 it's a feminist attitude and I guess I hear 00:05:18.17\00:05:21.03 you saying that, that there is an image that's 00:05:21.06\00:05:25.01 projected by these leaders and, yes, and it's 00:05:25.04\00:05:26.91 really an intimidating image because if 00:05:26.94\00:05:29.19 there was and this is what we go back to what 00:05:29.22\00:05:31.30 we said before if there was a mistake before 00:05:31.33\00:05:33.36 I think we are making another mistake because 00:05:33.99\00:05:35.63 if there was you know what they are saying is 00:05:35.66\00:05:37.12 unless you are woman like us you know you are 00:05:37.15\00:05:39.28 not a woman, yes, well I don't think that's fair. 00:05:39.31\00:05:41.20 I think there is a lot of woman too that have even 00:05:41.89\00:05:44.00 written books that what they thought it had started 00:05:44.03\00:05:46.97 out as is not what it is, and some of them are 00:05:47.00\00:05:52.05 backing off and, and trying to advice women, 00:05:52.08\00:05:54.73 but this is really not where you want to go, 00:05:55.60\00:05:57.73 exactly, it is ruining, it's gonna ruin your home, 00:05:57.76\00:05:59.97 it's gonna hurt you a lot. Well if there were some 00:06:00.00\00:06:01.79 positive things to say about the, 00:06:01.82\00:06:04.08 about the movement it would be that there has 00:06:04.69\00:06:08.31 been more sensitivity are given to the woman 00:06:08.34\00:06:11.83 as a person, yes, and to her rights, okay there is 00:06:11.86\00:06:15.53 the strength so, I think that would be the strength 00:06:15.56\00:06:17.48 and of course on the weakness side, 00:06:17.98\00:06:19.54 and intelligence, women every way we are finding 00:06:19.57\00:06:22.21 out that woman are capable, they are creative 00:06:22.24\00:06:24.00 and that they can virtually operate in any arena, 00:06:24.03\00:06:27.45 I might just say as a kind of little parenthesis. 00:06:27.94\00:06:30.08 I like the idea of woman in as doctors 00:06:30.60\00:06:33.76 as medical doctor. Well, for the simple reason. 00:06:33.79\00:06:36.17 Kathy I used to live overseas in a Muslim 00:06:37.15\00:06:39.03 environment, who else can, and Muslim woman 00:06:39.06\00:06:42.17 didn't go to male doctor, to male doctors, 00:06:42.20\00:06:44.91 and so I wish I mean may their tribe increase, 00:06:45.93\00:06:48.66 I think that woman ought to go through, better tribe 00:06:49.00\00:06:51.17 increase, of course without, we have your 00:06:51.20\00:06:53.66 blessing, and so that there is something right about 00:06:53.69\00:06:57.82 this, there is something right and however as we 00:06:57.85\00:07:00.53 say that the dangers are that it would be like us 00:07:00.56\00:07:05.14 men that if we, you know we had to corner on the 00:07:05.17\00:07:07.85 market and we are thinking only of ourselves 00:07:07.88\00:07:10.53 it wouldn't be hard for that to go to the other side 00:07:10.96\00:07:13.00 and we would be perpetuating but from 00:07:13.53\00:07:15.19 the other side the evils of the past, wanted some 00:07:15.22\00:07:20.90 more of the weakness of it though. 00:07:20.93\00:07:22.12 Well you should tell me, you are the woman. 00:07:23.39\00:07:25.70 Well I think one of the worst is the abandonment 00:07:26.29\00:07:28.28 of the home, yeah, living the role of the one thing 00:07:28.31\00:07:33.06 that can be so satisfying as being a mother 00:07:33.09\00:07:35.88 and a good wife onsidering others I heard 00:07:39.87\00:07:43.57 of yourself like the scripture tells us that we 00:07:43.60\00:07:45.43 should, instead of just thinking of yourself. 00:07:45.46\00:07:48.55 You know, when you talk about leaving the home. 00:07:49.22\00:07:52.17 See there would be a whole group of people 00:07:52.20\00:07:53.70 Kathy of your sex, who would say you know 00:07:53.73\00:07:57.28 so who says we got to be in the home see in 00:07:57.77\00:07:59.36 the other words they would see that there is a 00:07:59.39\00:08:00.88 problem right off, I know my name is gonna to be mud. 00:08:00.91\00:08:02.87 But God, in other words who did God create to 00:08:05.95\00:08:08.60 be mother, who did God create to be wives as 00:08:08.63\00:08:11.32 women, who did God create to be father's, 00:08:11.35\00:08:13.29 who did He create to be husband it's men. 00:08:13.41\00:08:15.69 So, really there are something going on 00:08:16.28\00:08:18.36 it's not right, this is not right, and by the way 00:08:18.39\00:08:22.59 I heard a story one time, I was there in Africa, 00:08:22.62\00:08:25.84 and I was talking with a wife and mother there 00:08:26.33\00:08:29.89 and she and her husband just got over their mission 00:08:29.92\00:08:32.44 service and apparently just before they had left 00:08:32.47\00:08:36.13 to go overseas she had attended the wedding of 00:08:36.69\00:08:40.08 her sister, you won't believe this, and so, 00:08:40.11\00:08:45.17 and she didn't mean anything by it. 00:08:45.41\00:08:46.84 She said to her sister well how many children 00:08:46.87\00:08:50.54 do you and John you know plan to have and 00:08:51.23\00:08:54.40 she said my sister said we don't think we're gonna 00:08:54.43\00:08:57.36 reproduce ourselves, she said I didn't know what 00:08:57.39\00:09:01.41 isn't incredible that something is going on, 00:09:03.14\00:09:07.31 you know women are being told you know 00:09:07.59\00:09:09.75 don't let children mess up your life. 00:09:09.78\00:09:12.34 There is someone that I spoke to in last year, 00:09:13.16\00:09:15.73 who had similar experience and some 00:09:16.23\00:09:18.64 they were standing in the kitchen together and 00:09:18.67\00:09:21.63 younger woman ask the elder one and this subject 00:09:21.87\00:09:24.66 came up about children and the younger one 00:09:24.69\00:09:27.52 thought it was demeaning and degrading to the 00:09:27.55\00:09:29.64 body, yeah, that would be, and that's having had 00:09:29.67\00:09:35.12 children now that the Lord gave me 'cause 00:09:35.15\00:09:37.30 I was married 10 years before I had the first 00:09:37.50\00:09:39.48 one and it was pride for a child that is a hard thing 00:09:39.51\00:09:44.48 for me to take. I get really sad when woman want 00:09:44.51\00:09:47.23 to get away from their children and so I think all 00:09:47.26\00:09:49.80 of this movement has affected the woman and 00:09:49.83\00:09:51.93 wanting to get away from it all, not only that is 00:09:52.26\00:09:54.37 devalued, it's devalued the women if you are 00:09:54.40\00:09:58.45 mother, if you are a wife, you know where is 00:09:58.56\00:10:02.64 your value, you need a career. Let me tell you 00:10:02.67\00:10:05.14 something, and I am you know I am not trying to 00:10:05.17\00:10:07.66 make it hard on women who have to work as 00:10:07.69\00:10:10.61 wives and mothers but we need to realize just those 00:10:10.64\00:10:16.22 characters that we can develop, oh yeah, and the 00:10:16.25\00:10:19.28 work that we can do with our husbands I think there 00:10:19.31\00:10:21.30 is that counsel too, yeah, wining our husbands to 00:10:21.33\00:10:24.43 the Lord by our chased behavior. 00:10:24.46\00:10:26.76 You know, when I preach sometimes I say, 00:10:27.98\00:10:32.96 you know we men have not changed much 00:10:34.40\00:10:36.38 through the years, now hang on are you ready or 00:10:36.41\00:10:39.13 you adjust your seat belt on, yes, I say wish till the 00:10:39.16\00:10:41.72 dirty old men we've always been. 00:10:41.75\00:10:43.08 Oh, you better explain yourself, now what I am 00:10:43.11\00:10:46.35 saying is that you know the men who are the one 00:10:46.38\00:10:48.21 standed on telling dirty jokes, yes, I am talking 00:10:48.24\00:10:50.14 generically, yes, consonants where I am 00:10:50.17\00:10:52.42 telling dirty jokes, I said we men really in the 21st 00:10:52.45\00:10:57.36 century we haven't changed, we are the same 00:10:57.39\00:10:59.83 dirty old men we've always been, basic nature. 00:10:59.86\00:11:02.11 You know who is changed though, 00:11:02.14\00:11:03.53 the woman have changed. Now don't be upset with 00:11:04.16\00:11:06.66 me, but really, really now the woman and there 00:11:06.69\00:11:11.78 were things that need to be corrected but I don't 00:11:11.81\00:11:13.59 think the woman needed to come down Kathy to 00:11:13.62\00:11:15.64 our level. I mean come down to our level, 00:11:15.67\00:11:18.59 I understand that. I was standing in a pharmacy 00:11:18.91\00:11:20.86 one time and for some reason or another 00:11:20.89\00:11:23.54 you know a young lady was upset, but you know 00:11:24.81\00:11:27.77 she whipped into dirty talk and she said I'm 00:11:27.80\00:11:30.95 gonna jump across this whatever this is you know 00:11:30.98\00:11:33.77 and lead you up or something, now you 00:11:33.80\00:11:37.03 know maybe I am old fashioned, just been 00:11:37.06\00:11:38.25 watching the wrestling game, I saw to myself 00:11:38.28\00:11:40.86 I can't believe this. Now it's true that it didn't 00:11:40.89\00:11:44.30 use to be that way when the men were around the 00:11:44.33\00:11:46.59 women they watch how they talk, they didn't tell 00:11:46.62\00:11:49.22 dirty jokes, but I have been told, some respect, 00:11:49.25\00:11:51.48 there was respect. I've been told that by men 00:11:51.89\00:11:55.49 who work in public and I am not putting women 00:11:55.52\00:11:57.36 down, that it's nothing wrong to be working out 00:11:57.39\00:12:00.39 in business and having women foul mouth and 00:12:00.42\00:12:04.03 telling dirty jokes all, yes, and so if women have 00:12:04.06\00:12:07.47 been liberated to tell dirty jokes and to be foul 00:12:07.50\00:12:09.84 mouth this doesn't sound like the liberation of the 00:12:09.87\00:12:12.48 daughters of God, it does have son like me, no not 00:12:12.51\00:12:14.28 at all, and the daughters of God need carefully not 00:12:14.31\00:12:17.10 to partake of that, of course and to 00:12:17.13\00:12:19.09 avoid it at all cost. Now, I say something 00:12:20.35\00:12:23.95 else I mean I told you at the beginning I was 00:12:23.98\00:12:26.02 gonna be kind of a men's perspective to this, yes. 00:12:26.05\00:12:29.32 Now I hope said those who are with us, 00:12:29.35\00:12:32.09 you haven't misunderstood when I say that we men 00:12:32.37\00:12:34.73 are basically the same I am talking about by 00:12:34.76\00:12:36.52 nature, I am not talking about Christian, 00:12:36.55\00:12:37.71 you know, I am talking about generic, but 00:12:37.74\00:12:41.09 do you know who sets the moral climate, 00:12:42.99\00:12:45.38 now this is gonna be my personal opinion, 00:12:45.76\00:12:47.26 the moral climate for a society I say it's the 00:12:48.00\00:12:51.38 women, what, are you ready, it could to be 00:12:51.41\00:12:55.24 designers no. Well but you see, you see in an 00:12:55.27\00:13:00.04 environment, well it's true, or in a moral, 00:13:00.07\00:13:02.55 in sexual relationship, yes, who is that throws 00:13:02.58\00:13:06.42 the green light, who is that sets the climate, 00:13:06.45\00:13:10.14 in other words there is something these days 00:13:11.13\00:13:13.90 about and this is very critical and some may 00:13:14.36\00:13:17.65 disagree with it, where the women seem to be 00:13:17.68\00:13:20.67 getting more overtly immoral by the way they 00:13:20.70\00:13:24.69 dress, by the way they act, by the aggression, 00:13:24.72\00:13:27.50 the sexual aggression, and of course for us men 00:13:27.53\00:13:31.14 who were the same dirty old men, we've always 00:13:31.97\00:13:34.09 been this is bringing out the worst, number one in 00:13:34.12\00:13:37.56 men and number two I believe it's degrading 00:13:37.59\00:13:41.19 the women, you know, it is, God created women 00:13:41.22\00:13:44.31 last, it was His very best effort, she was the 00:13:44.34\00:13:49.30 crowning act of His creation. Now, there 00:13:49.33\00:13:51.76 would be those who would disagree with you, 00:13:51.79\00:13:53.38 you said it this is from personal opinion on 00:13:53.41\00:13:55.68 women's opinion, oh of course, of course, 00:13:55.71\00:13:57.00 and I guess I have to bring it out not 00:13:57.03\00:13:59.21 necessarily that I agree with the site because 00:13:59.24\00:14:01.37 I think I personally with my age and experience 00:14:01.40\00:14:04.15 agree with you that the women is setting the tone 00:14:04.18\00:14:07.22 on lot of this, but you know I've talked to some 00:14:07.25\00:14:10.53 young people who would say what about those men 00:14:10.56\00:14:13.40 who need to keep God on their mind, who need to 00:14:13.43\00:14:16.92 reserve themselves, restrain themselves and 00:14:16.95\00:14:18.83 be the Christian man that they ought to be, right, 00:14:18.86\00:14:20.92 but you know a man is still a man and you put 00:14:21.39\00:14:24.87 certain things in his face. I am glad, you're gonna 00:14:24.90\00:14:28.45 have drumble. Now, I think that is very 00:14:28.48\00:14:31.53 important what you've just brought out that we 00:14:31.56\00:14:34.15 men as dirty old men are going to have to give 00:14:34.18\00:14:36.75 account to God, there is no doubt about that. 00:14:36.78\00:14:38.67 This dirty mind is unacceptable, its 00:14:39.86\00:14:43.95 incompatible, and he asks us to think on that which 00:14:43.98\00:14:45.95 is pure, which is pure. However, however 00:14:45.98\00:14:48.03 and I use this illustration and it's a wife and mother 00:14:48.06\00:14:52.03 illustration especially for the mothers who have had 00:14:52.06\00:14:55.50 experience having little children, I would know 00:14:55.85\00:14:58.50 that if you are preparing dinner or if I was 00:14:58.53\00:15:01.13 preparing dinner and I have a pot on the 00:15:01.16\00:15:04.20 stove that has a handle sticking out over the edge 00:15:04.23\00:15:06.68 and I am boiling water and I know I've got 00:15:07.87\00:15:10.50 toddlers running around who can hit that and 00:15:10.53\00:15:13.15 scroll themselves. Now I could say well 00:15:13.18\00:15:14.85 that's not my responsibility that's 00:15:14.88\00:15:16.63 their responsibility I didn't do anything 00:15:16.66\00:15:18.68 you would say wait a minute it's irresponsible 00:15:18.71\00:15:20.65 for a person who is cooking things on a stove 00:15:21.67\00:15:24.33 to leave a handle when there is a little child 00:15:24.36\00:15:26.16 running around, right, now you can't say it's the 00:15:26.19\00:15:28.30 child's problem, and so I guess what I am saying 00:15:28.33\00:15:31.55 as a man that I know we men have a problem in 00:15:31.58\00:15:34.58 this area, but I wish that the women of God would 00:15:34.61\00:15:37.81 get together and say you know we can't be 00:15:37.84\00:15:40.78 excessive after the fact and scripture talks about 00:15:40.81\00:15:44.05 being chased in, being modest, and modest, 00:15:44.08\00:15:46.45 and it has a lot to say about that, a lot to say 00:15:46.58\00:15:49.13 about the responsibility of a women in the area of 00:15:49.16\00:15:52.23 moral purity. So that even Christian women 00:15:52.26\00:15:54.82 have taken on feminist ideas and really promoted 00:15:55.52\00:16:00.02 selfish thoughts that I can be what I want to be and 00:16:00.05\00:16:03.87 you are not suppose to think anything, 00:16:03.90\00:16:04.97 that's right, and this is a sad thing for Christian 00:16:05.00\00:16:11.21 women to for Christian women to do this, 00:16:11.24\00:16:15.21 now I can understand if a women who is not 00:16:15.24\00:16:16.82 professing Christianity, of course, of course, 00:16:16.85\00:16:18.34 but if a women is professing Christianity 00:16:18.81\00:16:20.76 then she needs to see what the word says 00:16:20.79\00:16:22.97 and we need to come to harmony with it. 00:16:23.95\00:16:28.06 Do you know, do you know there is word that's 00:16:28.75\00:16:31.18 not hardly used anymore and I remember at least 00:16:31.21\00:16:34.87 when I was growing up it was all around, it was the 00:16:34.90\00:16:37.15 word modesty, when is the last time you heard 00:16:37.18\00:16:39.65 that word? What is the last time you heard that 00:16:39.68\00:16:43.09 word, well you don't hear it in public very often no. 00:16:43.12\00:16:45.69 And I was thinking of my own little, my own little 00:16:46.40\00:16:49.68 granddaughters how many do I have, 00:16:49.71\00:16:51.26 I have three I guess I got to be if I have got seven 00:16:52.51\00:16:55.23 grandchildren I have got three grand daughters, 00:16:55.26\00:16:56.82 and you know the way they dress, now they are 00:16:57.53\00:16:59.94 not strippers in the night club, but it is you 00:16:59.97\00:17:03.92 understand what I am saying, yes, they can be 00:17:03.95\00:17:05.56 dressed in the summer time very scantly when 00:17:05.59\00:17:07.71 they go to the beach. I don't need to even talk 00:17:07.74\00:17:10.69 about that, but I don't think that the modesty 00:17:10.72\00:17:14.20 is a word that in the 21st century has any meaning 00:17:14.23\00:17:17.34 to the young people, right, but yet this word 00:17:17.37\00:17:20.42 modesty is very important in scripture, 00:17:20.45\00:17:22.74 and used multiple times in various ways not 00:17:22.77\00:17:25.58 necessarily the word but principle of some kind, 00:17:25.61\00:17:28.04 the principle and so it I think if we don't as 00:17:28.07\00:17:32.84 Christians and we are talking about women 00:17:32.87\00:17:35.53 you know I wish why should I Kathy, 00:17:35.99\00:17:38.29 why should I as a man be talking to you about this, 00:17:38.84\00:17:41.26 this is not my day. Well I think though I am, I am it 00:17:41.29\00:17:44.38 is your business. I think if men would be men then 00:17:44.41\00:17:48.84 women would appreciate more of being modest 00:17:48.87\00:17:51.94 women, what is it isn't it the sinful nature that says 00:17:51.97\00:17:56.92 out of one side of the mouth I would like this 00:17:57.75\00:17:59.58 chased women who is modest and all of this 00:17:59.61\00:18:01.34 sort of thing, but over here you are leading at 00:18:01.37\00:18:03.40 the one and this is when you are giving the 00:18:03.43\00:18:04.67 compliments too, that's right, and this is the one 00:18:04.70\00:18:05.96 you are appreciating what kind of message are 00:18:05.99\00:18:07.64 you giving to women who want to be beautiful 00:18:07.67\00:18:10.80 and attractive, but obviously and have been 00:18:10.83\00:18:14.54 for sometime doing it in the wrong way. 00:18:14.57\00:18:16.07 Do you know I was sitting at a Sabbath dinner 00:18:16.68\00:18:19.00 table, character is beautiful also, well, 00:18:19.03\00:18:20.66 I was sitting at a Sabbath dinner table and you 00:18:21.73\00:18:24.22 know around the table there were you know 00:18:24.25\00:18:25.98 several families represented and there 00:18:26.01\00:18:27.54 was an attractive young Christian wife that was 00:18:27.57\00:18:33.41 there she was without her husband, her husband was 00:18:33.44\00:18:35.02 traveling and so we got talking about some of 00:18:35.05\00:18:37.34 these things, and she said I want to appear desirable 00:18:37.37\00:18:42.34 to other men, what does that mean in her mind, 00:18:42.37\00:18:44.44 what do you think she meant, what you see 00:18:44.47\00:18:46.34 I only have one meaning for that see and I wish 00:18:46.37\00:18:49.97 that women understood that, that if a women said 00:18:50.00\00:18:53.21 I want to appear desirable to other men we only 00:18:53.24\00:18:56.54 know that from one perspective that doesn't 00:18:56.57\00:18:58.65 mean I want to be a friend, I want to be seen 00:18:58.68\00:19:00.77 as a person, to me I hear that loud and clear I want 00:19:00.80\00:19:03.72 to be a sex object. Now I heard something 00:19:03.75\00:19:06.59 Kathy one time and that maybe we as parents 00:19:09.04\00:19:11.82 and as grandparents need to be very careful when 00:19:12.49\00:19:14.62 our little girls or grandchildren are this big 00:19:14.65\00:19:17.15 we are always talking about their bodies, 00:19:17.18\00:19:19.65 oh isn't she cute or boyfriends, or whatever 00:19:19.82\00:19:22.49 it is, but you see it's always about how pretty 00:19:22.52\00:19:25.07 they are, we look at the cute little socks, look at 00:19:25.10\00:19:26.87 the cute little dress, look at her cute little curls. 00:19:26.90\00:19:28.95 So, a child from the time she has this big is fed 00:19:29.89\00:19:33.69 the physical, yes, and then of course if she has 00:19:33.72\00:19:36.76 fed the physical when she gets to be 16 and 17 we 00:19:36.79\00:19:39.42 are talking about some serious problems, yes, 00:19:39.45\00:19:41.51 and suddenly the father is saying oh you know 00:19:42.12\00:19:43.79 what could happen and it often does happen, 00:19:43.82\00:19:46.76 little by little, step by step it happen. 00:19:46.79\00:19:48.53 And so it goes back to what you were saying a 00:19:48.56\00:19:50.22 moment ago that when they are this big we 00:19:50.25\00:19:52.26 should not be talking about how pretty they 00:19:52.29\00:19:53.80 are, we should be talking about the character thing, 00:19:53.83\00:19:55.73 yes, I agree with you and that is a problem, 00:19:55.76\00:19:58.34 actually those that I have had an opportunity to 00:19:58.60\00:20:00.59 mentor as young parents I've talked about this and 00:20:00.62\00:20:04.82 when they meet this problem because it's 00:20:04.85\00:20:06.93 everywhere within the church, we were always 00:20:06.96\00:20:09.84 feeding that physical thought, if you meet that 00:20:09.87\00:20:12.92 problem then you better pray about how you could 00:20:12.95\00:20:15.59 witness or handle for your child sake because it's 00:20:16.01\00:20:18.61 gonna happen to your child at sometime. 00:20:18.64\00:20:21.13 Do you know what I think the most wonderful 00:20:21.33\00:20:23.93 for lack of a better word women's lib text series 00:20:24.83\00:20:27.59 in scripture hang on I think it's the one that 00:20:27.62\00:20:30.96 says let it not be the outward adorning, yes, 00:20:30.99\00:20:34.01 now watch out how that works because Jesus is 00:20:34.04\00:20:37.37 saying to women, honey it's not what you are 00:20:37.40\00:20:41.68 physically that's important to me, 00:20:41.71\00:20:43.01 see because I think that even the women 00:20:43.04\00:20:45.61 are hyped or trained to be physical, I think they 00:20:46.32\00:20:48.82 resented, I think deep down inside they 00:20:48.85\00:20:50.78 resented, they resent being seen as objects, 00:20:50.81\00:20:53.08 yes, they want to be seen as people, now I don't 00:20:53.90\00:20:55.39 think you can tell me if am wrong, 00:20:55.42\00:20:56.40 well also though they want to be seen 00:20:56.43\00:20:57.93 as beautiful attracted to somebody, but if the 00:20:59.33\00:21:03.41 right thing was said to them by the men they 00:21:03.44\00:21:06.38 could, they could be happy, happier being 00:21:06.41\00:21:10.67 attractive for the right reasons, if you would 00:21:10.70\00:21:13.76 compliment a really modest women, yes right, 00:21:13.79\00:21:16.63 then I might put on that real modest outfit again 00:21:16.97\00:21:20.02 because that's what you like me in you know that 00:21:20.05\00:21:22.64 kind of thing, but did you know Kathy that those 00:21:22.67\00:21:26.03 who we know the best for example if you ask me to 00:21:26.06\00:21:29.42 describe somebody I don't know I would describe 00:21:29.45\00:21:32.27 the way they look, yes, if you ask me to describe 00:21:32.30\00:21:35.41 someone I know, yes, I'll describe the kind of 00:21:35.44\00:21:37.63 person they are and you see I think this is 00:21:37.66\00:21:40.33 a question that we as men but not just we has been 00:21:40.36\00:21:43.24 but the women particularly. Does a women want to be 00:21:43.27\00:21:46.83 known and remembered and describe as how she 00:21:46.86\00:21:49.73 looks, nearly for physical, or does she wanted to be 00:21:49.76\00:21:52.00 describe as the person she is and later, 00:21:52.03\00:21:54.39 well I'll have to choose the later. 00:21:54.42\00:21:55.75 Well later we're gonna to do a program here in 00:21:55.78\00:21:58.10 our schedule you know about old age, but let's 00:21:58.13\00:22:00.82 just introduce it little bit because a woman that's 00:22:00.85\00:22:03.82 hung up on the physical appearance, yeah, 00:22:03.85\00:22:06.47 when she gets down the line a little bit, could be 00:22:06.50\00:22:08.99 devastated, when you get a turkey neck 00:22:09.02\00:22:11.40 so and so anyway, anyway I guess what we 00:22:14.06\00:22:15.92 are saying is that, is that, is that God is saying to 00:22:15.95\00:22:19.21 women I value you as a person, amen in fact 00:22:19.24\00:22:23.51 God is God, he does and but we need to get it 00:22:23.54\00:22:26.74 across to Christian women that if you want 00:22:26.77\00:22:29.13 to be a somebody you don't want to be sexy, 00:22:29.16\00:22:31.43 right, you don't want to appeared to be desirable 00:22:31.83\00:22:34.61 to a guy that walks down the street, you won't have 00:22:34.64\00:22:37.02 the character that God can appreciate. 00:22:37.05\00:22:38.76 Let it not be the outward of adorning you see, 00:22:38.79\00:22:42.28 it's incredible, but anyway you forgive me 00:22:42.31\00:22:44.23 for saying talking this way. No, I don't mind it, 00:22:44.26\00:22:48.11 it's from a man's, I think it 00:22:48.14\00:22:49.11 perspective, needs to be said, 00:22:49.12\00:22:50.09 I think it needs to be said, but I wish, 00:22:50.14\00:22:52.74 I am glad you are saying it actually when we 00:22:52.77\00:22:55.17 invited you, when I invited you to do this 00:22:55.20\00:22:56.85 I was surprised that you were willing, to do Plain 00:22:56.88\00:22:59.61 Talk, yes, and it is Plain Talk, but I would long 00:22:59.64\00:23:02.62 for the day in which we men could get together 00:23:02.65\00:23:06.10 and talk what does God expect of us as men. 00:23:06.91\00:23:09.36 Now we men have a problems, we are dirty 00:23:09.84\00:23:11.65 old men among other things we have anger 00:23:11.68\00:23:13.98 and bitterness and that's, even once you become a 00:23:14.01\00:23:15.66 Christian this is something you have to 00:23:15.69\00:23:16.80 deal with, and then I wish while we are doing that 00:23:16.83\00:23:19.60 that the women would get together, because women 00:23:19.63\00:23:22.28 have their women things, I have a desire for that to 00:23:22.31\00:23:24.81 have the women together to study these subjects but 00:23:24.84\00:23:26.99 you know that is not something that women 00:23:27.02\00:23:29.67 often like to talk about, they would rather talk 00:23:29.70\00:23:31.49 with their pastors see and see this is the thing that 00:23:31.52\00:23:34.65 I have as pastor. See women can be very 00:23:34.68\00:23:36.77 free to talk with the pastors they can say 00:23:36.80\00:23:39.12 things to a pastor that they should say to 00:23:39.15\00:23:41.04 anybody, they can talk about their intimate life 00:23:41.07\00:23:43.15 and sometimes I will be talking with the women, 00:23:43.50\00:23:45.00 that's dangerous, and she will start on that and 00:23:45.03\00:23:46.83 I will just stop that I will say, I will say 00:23:46.86\00:23:48.59 sister I think you want to find a women of God, 00:23:48.62\00:23:50.83 that's good and I am glad you are, I am glad you are 00:23:50.86\00:23:53.27 doing that because this is, I don't need that in my 00:23:53.30\00:23:56.23 mind, I don't need that in my mind and she doesn't 00:23:56.26\00:23:58.46 need to be sharing this kind of information with men. 00:23:58.49\00:24:01.16 You know I hope we haven't offended anybody 00:24:04.63\00:24:06.03 out there because you know we kind of went 00:24:06.06\00:24:07.56 into this little bit didn't we? 00:24:07.59\00:24:08.80 We kind of went into this you know, we can go 00:24:09.57\00:24:10.66 into more I think, you know another thing that 00:24:10.69\00:24:12.68 we had on our list to discuss in this program 00:24:12.71\00:24:14.82 was this matter of and I think it connects with the, 00:24:14.85\00:24:17.85 this matter of the physical, yes, you know 00:24:18.33\00:24:20.35 advertising is out there, yes, and where do we get 00:24:20.38\00:24:23.51 our role models for, oh yes, while we started out 00:24:23.54\00:24:25.38 with the movement and how it effected us but 00:24:25.41\00:24:27.63 obviously that movement has effected 00:24:28.55\00:24:30.01 advertisement. It's effected advertising and 00:24:30.04\00:24:31.78 I don't think we're gonna be able to finish in this 00:24:31.81\00:24:33.32 program, but I think you and I want to discuss 00:24:33.35\00:24:35.46 maybe even at another time, how that advertising 00:24:35.49\00:24:39.93 is creating a dissatisfaction, 00:24:39.96\00:24:42.11 yes discontent, and this dissatisfaction means 00:24:43.00\00:24:46.25 that I have to go out and buy a new dress in other 00:24:46.28\00:24:49.24 words it is that I am satisfied to be what I God 00:24:49.27\00:24:52.42 meant for me to be if I don't have a new dress 00:24:52.45\00:24:54.44 I am nobody, and then when I go out and buy 00:24:54.47\00:24:57.03 that new dress I put it out in my credit card. 00:24:57.06\00:24:59.16 Are you going somewhere else now, 00:25:01.12\00:25:02.19 because we were talking about that, yeah and we 00:25:03.07\00:25:04.63 were talking about that and maybe we can do 00:25:04.66\00:25:05.95 that in another program because our homes 00:25:05.98\00:25:09.02 are being virtually undermined by this level 00:25:09.64\00:25:12.85 of debt and debt is being exacerbated by 00:25:13.32\00:25:18.42 advertising and you see advertising is ultimately 00:25:18.45\00:25:21.41 the biggest put down there is, see advertising is 00:25:21.44\00:25:23.90 saying to you as a women and to me as a man. 00:25:23.93\00:25:26.00 Unless Kathy you look like this, oh I know, 00:25:26.33\00:25:28.75 you are nobody, I know, unless your shape like 00:25:28.78\00:25:31.32 that, you are ugly, you began to a person who 00:25:31.35\00:25:35.36 is not strong in the Lord can began to market 00:25:35.39\00:25:37.49 themselves in a totally different way and actually 00:25:37.52\00:25:39.21 it is marketing yourself. Well, it's the, I wish that 00:25:39.24\00:25:42.31 we would talk about this at the church you see we 00:25:42.89\00:25:44.43 used to call these as Church standards, yes, 00:25:44.46\00:25:46.09 but nobody wants to talk about Church standards 00:25:46.56\00:25:47.92 because they say that's legalism, but they were 00:25:47.95\00:25:50.60 something right about that we that are Christian 00:25:50.63\00:25:52.69 would dress because the fact that he would be 00:25:52.72\00:25:54.66 simple, the fact that he would be modest would 00:25:54.69\00:25:56.71 keep him out of these big pitfalls all around, 00:25:56.74\00:25:59.48 they create these huge problems where we 00:26:00.36\00:26:02.57 would have these moral implications or where 00:26:02.60\00:26:04.79 we would have over spending, we would have 00:26:04.82\00:26:07.02 discontent, well I don't like my house my house 00:26:07.05\00:26:08.98 is ugly, I can't stay in my car, my car is no good, 00:26:09.01\00:26:12.25 anyway, we need to continue on this debt 00:26:12.82\00:26:16.42 thing because, keep thy heart with all diligence 00:26:16.45\00:26:18.45 for out that are the issues of life. Dick I want to 00:26:18.48\00:26:22.05 invite our viewers though if they have topics for 00:26:22.08\00:26:27.29 family and something that they would like to suggest 00:26:27.32\00:26:32.37 call or write 3ABN and tell them that this might 00:26:32.40\00:26:37.00 be a particular topic that you would like to see on 00:26:37.03\00:26:40.16 Thinking About Home, if we can we might be 00:26:40.19\00:26:42.96 able to deal with it. You see the address there 00:26:42.99\00:26:45.73 and or call mention my name and Thinking 00:26:46.26\00:26:48.25 About Home and I appreciate if you do 00:26:48.28\00:26:49.77 that I am sorry Dick I interrupted you, oh no, 00:26:49.80\00:26:51.68 no, I was just saying as we come to our closer 00:26:51.71\00:26:53.77 this program that as men we need the word of God, 00:26:53.80\00:26:57.50 and I believe that excuse me you women you need 00:26:58.55\00:27:02.08 the word of God that if we let the society 00:27:02.11\00:27:04.61 determine what we are gonna be, we're gonna 00:27:04.64\00:27:05.98 be lost women as women and as men, yes, and our 00:27:06.01\00:27:08.55 home is gonna, they are not gonna break, yes, we 00:27:08.58\00:27:11.15 Christian women need to be listening to this, this 00:27:11.18\00:27:13.78 voice, absolutely, this voice. You're gonna be 00:27:13.81\00:27:16.22 talking about a few other topics Plain Talk as our 00:27:16.25\00:27:18.64 program goes on, what's next one do you think? 00:27:18.67\00:27:20.39 Or we're gonna keep talking about women, 00:27:20.99\00:27:21.98 oh fun, I don't know we want to pray for our 00:27:22.65\00:27:26.35 viewers, yes do that let's do that. 00:27:26.38\00:27:27.47 Heavenly Father, Lord we are thankful for our 00:27:28.26\00:27:30.47 families, we are thankful for our wives, we are 00:27:30.50\00:27:33.60 thankful for our sisters, we are thankful for our 00:27:33.63\00:27:35.36 mothers and grandmothers, yes, and O Lord we pray 00:27:35.39\00:27:38.00 for the women for the women of God, 00:27:38.03\00:27:39.68 the daughters of God that they will be able to resist 00:27:39.71\00:27:41.80 the great temptations that would take away their 00:27:41.83\00:27:44.06 beauty, their inner beauty that would take away 00:27:44.09\00:27:45.97 their dignity, their intrinsic dignity that 00:27:46.00\00:27:48.70 they have in Jesus. Oh Heavenly Father in 00:27:48.73\00:27:51.68 these last days, we pray that you will 00:27:51.71\00:27:54.17 protect us and as Jesus prayed that you will 00:27:54.20\00:27:57.27 keep us from the Evil, we are thankful. 00:27:57.30\00:28:00.03