Participants: Kathy Matthews, Richard O'Ffill
Series Code: TAH
Program Code: TAH000132
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00:31 Hi, I'm Kathy Matthews,
00:32 and this is Thinking About Home. 00:34 Is there an identity crisis among men today? 00:37 That's what we're gonna to be talking about. 00:39 The subject is going to be about men 00:40 and most especially in the area of husbands. 00:43 And recently I had the opportunity 00:45 to meet a man that works for the Florida Conference. 00:50 He's the Director of Men's Ministries 00:53 for the Florida Conference of Seventh day Adventists 00:56 and his name is Richard O'Ffill. 00:58 Pastor O'Ffill, thank you for being with us today. 01:00 I'm glad to be here Kathy. 01:01 By the way you and I've never been together 01:04 on a program before and I was looking at the 01:06 intro for this program. 01:08 I was wondering if all those pictures of all 01:10 those young people when they're getting married. 01:11 Is that you and your husband? 01:12 No, I think it's somebody that used to work here 01:14 or still does. I'm not sure 01:15 but it would be fun if they were us. 01:17 Yeah, there are some beautiful pictures. 01:18 They are, they are beautiful. 01:19 Whoever did that, did a nice job. 01:21 They did. You're gonna have to excuse me today. 01:23 I've got a little cold, 01:24 I may sound a little nasally. 01:25 And if I cough you, you won't mind 01:27 if I get some germs on you. 01:28 Not as long as you cover your mouth. 01:31 I could forget that, I hope I won't. 01:32 I want to welcome you and I know that 01:36 you and I have some of the similar 01:38 burdens about the home. 01:39 And I know that it's really important 01:41 for us to get this across to our viewers 01:43 and I hope that they are all ages that's going 01:46 to be watching but especially if there are 01:49 husbands that somebody could get this to, 01:51 it would be important to maybe that if you 01:53 could share this as we finish our discussion today. 01:56 There is an identity crisis with men, 02:00 and I think Pastor O'Ffill 02:03 is going to give us some biblical counsel 02:05 and address some of these issues very adeptly, 02:08 don't? I think you can anyway. 02:10 Well I think I'm qualified Kathy 02:11 to do that because in the first place 02:14 I am a man. That ought to qualify you. 02:16 Of course, I think those 02:18 who are listening and who 02:20 are watching ought to know that there 02:23 will be differences of opinion 02:24 and not between you and I so much, 02:25 right. But we do live in a time of 02:28 a kind of a revolution. 02:31 Maybe it was a revolution that we 02:33 needed to have because of certain 02:36 excesses or even abuses of the past, 02:40 but we live in a time in which 02:43 there's almost a kind of a battle 02:45 between the sexes, between the men 02:48 and the women, absolutely. 02:49 And so in this program 02:52 I'm obviously probably going to be 02:55 in defense of the men. 02:56 And when was it, a couple of years ago, 03:00 I was attending a Men's Convention. 03:03 And the speaker said, I don't know 03:08 who collected the statistics but 03:10 that someone had done a study 03:12 and there was something like a thousand commercials, 03:15 TV commercials at that time making fun of men. 03:19 You know those things creep up on you. 03:21 They could creep up on you and 03:23 they go through that over the years 03:26 and then you become so familiar with it, 03:27 you don't really realize that it's affecting 03:29 your thinking. Well this, 03:31 I guess a lot of the programs these days 03:34 have kind of ranked it, 03:37 it's kind of the woman is the top 03:41 and then the children you know they're next 03:43 and then the pet is next and then the husband 03:46 is the donkey as we used to say. 03:48 Do you think there's a plan behind that? 03:49 Well obviously, well yes, yes I do. 03:52 God originally had a plan for the family. 03:56 The human race though God wants us to come 04:00 to him as individuals. 04:01 The human race collectively is about family. 04:04 And if the devil can break our families 04:07 then he's broken our society 04:10 and I think it's intentional, 04:12 I think it's a conspiracy to destroy the family. 04:15 And however he does it, whether he would 04:17 do it through the youth, 04:18 whether he would do it on the side of the women 04:20 or on the side of the men, it makes no difference. 04:24 There is, do you think that so called Women Lib Movement 04:27 has anything to do with this breakdown. 04:30 Well no, I hope you're gonna be friendly. 04:33 Well we could get into that maybe 04:35 later more so, we don't have to. 04:37 But in answer to your question obviously 04:40 as I mentioned a moment ago that 04:41 there is a kind of a revolution, 04:43 and there was a kind of a reaction of the women, 04:48 and I think that many of the things 04:50 that have gone on in recent years 04:52 needed to happen, there were, 04:54 there were inequities. 04:55 Probably the men were not as compassionate, 04:59 probably more dictatorial, 05:01 even abusive or whatever, whatever it is 05:04 but I believe that one mistake doesn't call 05:07 for another, right. And so, 05:08 and so if we were as men, if we were 05:11 making a mistake, society in trying to 05:13 correct that mistake could well make another. 05:16 And so it seems to me, when you were 05:19 a little girl, did you ever do the teeter totter, 05:22 yes, yes. You remember how we would, 05:25 you know on a teeter totter, obviously to 05:27 make it right you have to have balance, yes. 05:29 And so you can't have somebody, you know that's 05:31 25 pounds on one end and 175 on the other, 05:35 right, unless you care. 05:37 And so, and so I think in the Christian home, 05:40 it's to be a balance relationship 05:42 which enables each one to fulfill its God given place. 05:46 Well you were mentioning a moment ago about 05:48 the more dominant in the past. 05:51 I was talking to my daughter Sarah 05:54 about some of these issues and she was talking 05:57 about in literature that between the 06:00 13th and the 19th century 06:02 even in literature the courageous, 06:05 more dominant, more aggressive attributes 06:10 of character were pushed, 06:13 they were encouraged, yes. 06:14 And at that time maybe people thought that 06:18 men didn't have emotions, but that was not so. 06:20 But what was prominent was courage 06:24 and aggression and protection and various things 06:26 like that. Now we seem to have lost it, 06:28 it seems like men to a large degree 06:32 have become more effeminate. 06:33 Well it is interesting when you say 06:36 that there was a time in which 06:38 I think the male role was to be a protector. 06:41 And the scripture would even I think 06:43 point that out because it would speak of 06:46 the male as being the stronger; 06:47 we're talking about physically stronger. 06:48 So the male role has been to protect 06:50 he children and the women. 06:51 And I think in my own life 06:54 I was trained to be polite that the women 06:57 should go first, and when we would ride 06:59 on the bus we were supposed if we were sitting down, 07:01 we were supposed to stand up. 07:02 Don't you have a story about that? 07:05 One time I was at a university 07:07 I won't tell where it was, 07:09 but it was there in my tier, 07:11 but I was going to one of these big buildings 07:14 one day, and there was a, 07:16 you know a young lady behind me and 07:18 so I opened the door to let her 07:20 in and she rebuked me. 07:22 I was so; I didn't know what to do. 07:25 All my life I'm trained to open the 07:27 door for the women, and here I'm 07:29 opening the door and she's rebuking me. 07:31 And I thought oh brother I didn't know 07:32 what to say. I don't know what I did, 07:34 I didn't even remember. 07:35 But I thought about through the years, 07:37 I thought if that ever happens to me again. 07:39 And you know; if a woman were to say to me, 07:43 don't open the door for me. 07:45 I would probably say maybe I shouldn't 07:48 I probably say something like this. 07:49 Well I don't open the door for women; 07:50 I open it for human beings. 07:51 You better make a point right here, 07:54 you better make a point right here about not, 07:57 the ideas is what men ought to do, 08:00 it's not about bashing women at all is it. 08:02 And I think this is one of the problems 08:03 that we get into and as you and I were 08:05 talking before the program 08:06 that we are in a time of change, yes. 08:09 I think that men needed to change 08:12 but the question is not, did we need to 08:16 change or should we change but 08:18 how we will change, what will we be, 08:20 and I personally as a leader of Men's Ministries, 08:23 I don't think that from a man's point of view 08:27 that we resolve our problems between you and me. 08:30 I don't think this is about negotiation 08:33 between you and me. 08:34 I think that originally God made you 08:37 as a woman and he has expectations 08:39 for you as a woman. Yes. 08:40 And in the same way I believe 08:43 that having made me as a man. 08:44 He has expectations for me, 08:47 so therefore I don't go to you to find out 08:50 how to be a man. I think I should go 08:52 to the word of God, good point. 08:54 I should go to the word of God, good point, 08:55 and find out what does God expect me to be 08:56 as a man. Absolutely, 08:58 and I agree with that. 08:59 When we were talking a moment ago 09:01 about men being maybe a little more effeminate now, 09:05 the courage, the attributes that I 09:10 was talking about in between the 13th and 19th century. 09:12 And now love and acceptance 09:15 and tolerance seems to the big thing 09:18 that's being pushed, now there's not, 09:19 there's absolutely nothing wrong with that. 09:21 That also attributes of Christ. 09:22 But Christ was also courageous what, 09:25 how do we get back to teaching men to be men. 09:28 Well maybe we don't have to teach men to be men. 09:34 Let me explain where I'm coming from. 09:37 I personally believe if they're having 09:39 trouble we don't need to teach them how 09:41 do we get this across. 09:42 Listen to what I'm about to say, 09:44 I think masculinity comes in a package. 09:49 I have four children, two boys and two girls. 09:51 And I'll never forget we were over in 09:54 Pakistan where the youngest little 09:56 boy was born. 09:58 And here he was, I don't know if he was 10:01 a year and half years old. 10:02 You know a year and a half and 10:03 he's playing in the ground, 10:04 and he's playing with his little sticks. 10:06 And I'm seeing him, he's never seen the, 10:08 I don't think, you know the trucks and cars. 10:10 I mean if he did it was you know 10:12 what would he know about it. 10:13 How would he know that one day, 10:15 you know he would be or maybe a truck driver 10:17 which he isn't, but there he was acting 10:19 like a little boy and then as I watched, 10:22 I thought, strange. 10:23 Where in the world does he get this, 10:24 and I thought no it comes with it. 10:26 The little boys would act like little boys, 10:28 because you know there are 10:29 some who say well its all 10:31 learned you know. 10:32 Now I think what I'm saying and 10:33 I'm not an expert. 10:34 Is that, a boy can learn to be feminine 10:37 and a girl can learn to be masculine, 10:39 so, I'm saying all things being equal, 10:41 but I do think that if it will go the way 10:44 God meant for it to go that a boy 10:46 will tend to be masculine. 10:48 A girl will tend to be feminine 10:50 and I think I hear you saying 10:52 we have to encourage those rules. 10:54 Then you are also by inference 10:58 saying that it could be trained out of them. 10:59 Well I guess this is what I'm saying 11:01 and earlier you mentioned this problem 11:04 of what they call unisex. 11:06 You remember when this thing got started, yes. 11:09 And I think, I think, was that back in the 60s. 11:12 I don't know when it happened, but I 11:13 remember when the word first came out 11:16 and there's no doubt that something is going on, 11:21 and I don't think its God's plan, 11:24 that's trying to eliminate masculinity 11:27 and eliminate femininity 11:30 and make it all the same. 11:31 And I think that this is, this is not 11:34 just a strike against you and me is, 11:35 you as a woman and me as a man, 11:37 but this could be a strike against our 11:39 creator who made us male and female. 11:41 Right, do we need to be careful don't we? 11:43 Well I think, I think it's important that 11:47 in this time in which the devil is trying 11:49 to break up the home. 11:50 There's no doubt about that and 11:52 so if he can take, take the male role out, 11:55 and he can just start the feminine role, right. 11:59 Then, then he will have accomplished his purpose. 12:01 Absolutely, but we don't want that to happen. 12:04 We got to get back to the what God is 12:06 asking us to be. 12:07 He's coming back again 12:08 and we want to be able to have homes 12:12 in which they're orderly, 12:14 they're in the manner in which Christ 12:18 has asked us to be, but I think there is a 12:20 move on to do that. 12:22 Kathy, I'm persuaded that, 12:24 that in other generations, 12:29 some of these things happen naturally. 12:31 And they happen naturally because, 12:33 because of the customs, 12:34 because of the society, because of church, 12:36 because of the school you know 12:38 all these things, but this is all down now. 12:40 It seems like it's a free for all, right. 12:44 And so I'm actually to the place 12:45 where I believe that unless we get into the 12:49 word of God, yes. We're gonna lose 12:51 everything. I remember when I was 12:52 younger and you probably looking at me and saying 12:55 you probably had white hair all your life. 12:57 It seems like that, 'cause I began to get white hair 13:01 when I was in my 30s. Well you are not that 13:03 much further than I am. 13:04 No, no but anyway I remember when I was 13:06 a young man. I remember them saying 13:07 that in the last days unless we would be in 13:11 the word we wouldn't make it. 13:14 And you know Kathy, 13:16 I didn't understand that because, 13:18 because you know when I was a young man, 13:21 this was the standard. 13:22 This was the standard, 13:23 not that we followed it all, 13:24 not that we never made mistakes, 13:26 but this was the standard, yes. 13:28 And so when I would hear them say something about 13:30 well in the last days if we are not in the word 13:32 we won't make it. I didn't understand that, 13:33 but now I do, yes. 13:35 Because in some way the scripture seems to 13:38 be sinking as a standard you know, 13:40 it isn't a standard anymore. 13:41 Society is a standard these days, 13:43 and I'm convinced that if we will, 13:46 will do nothing and let society continue to 13:49 mold us, particularly in respect to our masculinity 13:53 and our femininity, we're gonna lose it. 13:55 I really believe that. We don't want that. 13:59 I don't want that, no, no. 14:00 My daughter is coming up marriageable age, 14:04 and I don't want that. I want the right 14:05 kind of family and a man for her 14:07 and that's what we're praying for. 14:09 You know I've enjoyed getting to know 14:11 your daughters and Sarah who is away 14:14 at college and when I saw her I said, 14:18 they like calling you grandpa. 14:19 I said to Sarah, I said you know Sarah, 14:21 your husband's out there some place right 14:22 now right today. 14:23 You don't know where he's at, 14:25 but it's time to start praying for him. 14:27 Yes and have been for sometime. 14:29 And praying for his family, yes. 14:31 Praying that he'll be the man that God 14:33 meant for him. Right because this crisis is real. 14:35 Oh it is. It's real. Now let's talk 14:37 a little about when women go aggressive 14:40 and men become passive, 14:41 what can you say about that? 14:42 Now Kathy, am I among friends. 14:43 Yes, I think so. I mean I can 14:45 get aggressive, but these cameras do 14:47 things to me. 14:48 Do you remember when back, back years ago 14:51 they were talking about the women in her rolling 14:53 pin remember that was always, yes, you know that 14:55 the wife chasing her husband with the rolling pin. 14:56 Yes, I didn't like that. Well, I don't know 14:59 where it came from but it was the joke, 15:01 I know it, I know. 15:02 So I wanna make sure you don't have 15:04 any rolling pins. No, I don't. 15:05 There is one back at the apartment. 15:08 Now let me tell you where I am coming 15:09 from and I didn't make this up unless you 15:11 and I talk about. 15:12 This person was saying that there's only 15:16 so much masculinity or femininity to go around, 15:20 and the person said that when women begin 15:23 to get more masculine, 15:26 that men will begin to get more feminine. 15:30 Now let's extrapolate this a little bit. 15:33 We men, some could argue and say 15:36 it shouldn't be that way, 15:37 we were made to be the aggressor. 15:40 I can remember when I was a young man 15:41 it was the boys who asked the girls 15:43 out for dates, yes, not necessarily anymore, yes. 15:46 Now where every man could wish 15:49 that he could be chased by a beautiful girl. 15:52 When beautiful girls start chasing him 15:54 he doesn't know what to do about. He changes. 15:56 He changes because that's not a role. 15:59 It actually emasculates us and so we live in a society 16:04 in which and I am not talking Kathy about equal pay 16:10 for equal work, we're talking about roles, yes. 16:13 Being men and being women, 16:15 so I think that as women have in the 16:19 society become more and more aggressive 16:22 that commensurate this men content 16:24 to be more passive, and the reason I 16:27 say this is because we men by instinct 16:30 are very aggressive, in other words with 16:32 each other. Highly competitive 16:35 but guess what there's something about 16:37 us we do not compete with women. 16:41 In other words if women get to be real 16:44 dominant in something guess what we do, 16:46 just back off, we just back off let them have it. 16:50 And so this is the problem. 16:51 Do you think that's inherent? 16:54 Well you know some could debate 16:55 that you know some of the people out there 16:56 might say well O'Ffill that's your problem. 16:58 But really we men are this way 17:02 and so I guess again it isn't will women fulfill 17:08 a particular role, the issue isn't 17:10 have men been dictatorial 17:13 or you know have they put the women down, 17:15 probably so. But the issue now 17:19 is how are we going to get this right, yes. 17:21 And of course, and there will be 17:23 those out there questioning whether 17:25 it needs to be gotten right or not. 17:26 Well that's the point to see and because 17:28 of this of the unisex concept. 17:30 Right, but if we're studying God's word 17:31 we know that something has to happen, 17:33 something has to change. 17:34 Well the status quo, it can't be the way 17:37 it was and I feel it can't be the way 17:40 it is because surely this is not the solution. 17:43 But since the Teeter Totter, the coming 17:44 to a balance of those things 17:46 that were once thought coming to coupling 17:50 with those things that are the more passive trades, 17:55 the love, the gentleness, 17:57 the kinder ways of handling the family, 18:00 the wife, the children, 18:01 and since we're talking about husbands. 18:03 Those two things put together 18:07 and we're going to have to come to surrender, 18:11 to critiquing ourselves don't you think. 18:13 Wise men have to critique themselves. 18:15 Why do men try to avoid doing that, 18:18 I want you to tell me that. 18:19 Well, we men now we appear 18:22 to be really you know, tough and egotistical 18:25 you know, and strong, but it's very, very, 18:28 it's very thin. Well, you can 18:31 critique yourself on your job. 18:32 Well, what I am saying is that that we men 18:35 have been made, made to believe that, 18:38 if we admit our mistakes, yes, 18:40 people will lose respect for us. 18:42 And I was talking to a man one time and he said, 18:47 well if I admit I am wrong my family 18:49 will lose respect for me. 18:51 I said no son; they've already lost 18:54 respect for you. I said, if you'll admit, 18:56 if you'll admit you're wrong you will get 18:58 respect, right, right, but again, 19:00 and God teaches us that. 19:01 I believe he that humbles himself 19:03 should be exalted, right, right. 19:04 But its hard for a man because of the way 19:07 we're made, to admit we're wrong. 19:10 And I think that there's wonderful 19:12 things coming out of this revolution. 19:14 There is, if on admitting that he's wrong. 19:19 Do you think it's harder for him to admit 19:22 that he's wrong now than ever before? 19:26 Well, well I don't know what you, 19:29 what you have in your mind that I might say, 19:31 I would say probably no because he's been, 19:33 remember if you put a person down 19:35 more and more and more, 19:36 then pretty soon he gives up. 19:38 And so, if, if as we said at the beginning 19:41 of the program, if, if they're making 19:43 fun of men more and more than 19:46 a man looses self respect, yes. 19:48 You see, one of the things that I worry about we, 19:50 we have a particular role which is a, 19:53 which is a very physical role as protector, 19:56 but in the intimate setting as the fathers, yes. 19:59 As the fathers and as the husbands. 20:01 Well, you see, if, if this society takes away 20:04 every, every exalted part of our relationship 20:08 and leaves only the sexual part, yes. 20:10 It just turns us into you know, 20:13 animals, animal studs, yes. 20:15 And so, and so this is what I think is happening to, 20:18 to some extend because a man is by 20:21 nature he tends to be testosterone 20:22 driven anyway, yes. 20:24 And so, and so it's, it's these more civilized more, 20:29 more cultured, more spiritual things that he needs. 20:32 You see, this is one of the problems Kathy that we 20:33 haven't talked about yet because 20:35 even in the church, in recent years 20:38 there's been a trend to give the women 20:40 a higher and higher role, yes. 20:42 Well anybody knows that women are, 20:44 I don't know whether I could say they're born 20:46 more spiritual than men, in other words they tend 20:49 to be more spiritual. 20:50 They tend to respond to it, it seems like. 20:52 And, so, so watch what happens then so, so 20:55 even the church then as the church gives a 20:58 higher and higher role to women in the church, 21:01 where are the men going? 21:02 They begin to back out, so, so really I'm 21:05 not talking about the role of women 21:08 in the church, but in someway we've 21:10 got to realize that as long as the husband 21:13 is spiritually weak, as long as a man 21:15 is spiritually weak, the home is flawed. 21:18 If we, if we leave the man only with 21:20 the reproductive function in the family, yes. 21:23 We would have, we will have destroyed the home. 21:26 And yes, and the man. Absolutely, 21:28 and what about our sons, and of course, 21:31 of course there are so many single parent homes 21:34 and we're so thankful for the tremendous 21:37 sacrifice that yes, that that, that so many women make 21:41 and, and men too. 21:42 But God meant for us not to have 21:46 single parent homes. Right, that was not 21:49 his intention. And, and so the little boys 21:50 were supposed to learn to be men from their daddies 21:53 who are supposed to be men. 21:54 And the little girls are supposed to be learn to be 21:56 women from their mothers who are supposed 21:58 to be women, yes. And so, that's being 22:00 all blurred. Well, I often think 22:03 of the pioneer days and something like that. 22:05 How did somebody who lost their husbands 22:07 bring up a real man in their son, 22:10 that was done. Well, it was done, but 22:12 apparently Kathy there were other models, 22:14 there were other models, there were uncles, 22:17 community, and the community, yes. 22:18 There were grandpas, for family, absolutely 22:20 and we're not saying and we wouldn't want 22:22 to be disrespectful or to hurt, 22:23 anyone who might be joining us, but, 22:26 but still in the ideal and we must be pushing 22:29 toward the ideal. Is our lives about 22:31 the ideal, no our lives are the real, 22:34 but if we don't have an ideal then we begin 22:37 to accept the normal as abnormal 22:38 and the unacceptable as acceptable. 22:41 Right, you know, I want to put in here 22:43 for the viewers, if there is a subject 22:46 or topic on family life in the future 22:49 that you want to see on Thinking About Home, 22:51 then call or write at the number or address 22:55 that you will see on your screen to 3ABN. 22:59 And give us your opinion, give us a suggestion, 23:02 we might be able to handle some topics 23:05 that you might be especially interested in. 23:07 And I wanted to get that in there before 23:09 the program was over. So, just call 23:12 or write to 3ABN about future topics 23:16 that you might want to hear on Thinking About Home, 23:18 mention Kathy Matthews, and mention 23:20 Thinking About Home and we'll really 23:23 enjoy hearing from you. 23:24 And we've got a few minutes left Dick. 23:27 I want to see if we can get into respect from wives. 23:31 How about, how can a man gain respect 23:37 from his wife? Well, I hear where you're 23:40 coming from, I am reading between the lines. 23:41 Do we have enough time to deal with that, 23:43 we don't have a lot of time? 23:44 Well let me just say this 23:45 that the scripture commands the wife 23:50 to respect her husband. 23:52 And I think, when I've talked with wives 23:53 before is one of the hardest things 23:54 to do, is for a wife to respect her husband 23:58 especially under certain conditions. 23:59 Do you know I think there's a positive 24:01 story I can tell about that you know, 24:03 I do a lot of teaching about prayer. 24:04 Yes, you have a book called Transforming Prayer, 24:06 Transforming Prayer. I'm reading that right now, 24:08 I really appreciate it. 24:09 I hope it's a blessing to you. It is. 24:10 Anyway, one time I was talking with a woman 24:12 and she said, you know, my husband and I 24:14 went home and we prayed together 24:17 for the first time last night. 24:19 She said, I have so much respect for him. 24:22 It went up immediately. 24:23 And so, I think that we as men need 24:25 to earn the respect of our wives, 24:29 while the scripture really enjoins 24:31 the wife to respect her husband. 24:32 Now she could say, well I don't have 24:34 to respect him and I have no reason 24:36 to be respect him. Well, it's says 24:37 honor your father and mother, 24:38 and it doesn't say honor your good ones 24:40 and not the bad ones, right. So, the women's 24:42 task is to honor her husband and to honor her 24:46 father of course, but we men and I think 24:48 especially in this time we need to learn 24:51 to change, we can't be what we always were. 24:54 But I don't think that we should go from 24:57 one extreme to the next, I do think that 24:59 where we might have been tough 25:00 and macho in another generations. 25:02 I do think we need to be kind. 25:04 I think we need to be gentle, 25:06 I think we need you know to be more respectful. 25:10 Yeah, but you need to be courageous 25:12 and protectors, well and providers. 25:15 But provider seems to be the thing 25:18 that every man gets his value from today, 25:21 if he's a good worker or if he's got the job 25:23 that everybody is hunting for, 25:25 then he's okay and all his role is filled, 25:28 but that's hardly all there is to it. 25:31 Protector to me is to protect me verbally, 25:34 when I'm hurt. Yes, good, good, good. 25:36 It's to put verbally your arm around me, 25:39 when someone else might have sinned against me, 25:41 protect me. It doesn't just mean 25:44 some caveman style of protection, 25:46 for what that's worth, but if that's 25:51 what gives me respect is, and the spiritual leader. 25:55 Being a spiritual leader, and not shirking that. 25:57 I am not saying oh well you go do it, 26:00 I've got something else I need to do, right. 26:01 If, if you want respect from me, 26:04 it's not just, it's not merely making a living, no. 26:08 Now, I can go down in hurry if he's not making 26:10 a living as well, but if these others are left out. 26:15 I can loose respect. I know a couple that 26:19 we worked with, where this has been 26:21 a problem with a young man, who, 26:23 who was brought up in such a way 26:24 that he did not have what he needed 26:26 to provide for her and they're struggling, 26:29 Christianity, Christianity has been really difficult. 26:31 Oh, I suppose, I suppose. And she is a go-getter 26:33 and for her to learn to surrender, 26:34 that's been hard, right. 26:36 And for him to learn to lead spiritually 26:39 as well as protecting and providing 26:41 that's been difficult. Men, we 26:44 do need a change. Oh, yeah, and, and, and 26:47 we must change, we can't go on the way 26:49 where we were, but we must become 26:51 what God meant for us. 26:52 And well you're going to be back with us now, 26:55 aren't you Dick? I sure am. 26:56 We're gonna be talking about several different 26:58 things actually I want to inform our viewers 27:01 that we're going to be talking about grandparents. 27:05 We're going to be talking about young people. 27:07 We're going to be talking about old age. 27:09 We're going to be talking about wives, 27:10 and fathers. So, don't think that every time 27:14 you have see Pastor O'Ffill on here 27:15 that's last program 'cause it won't be. 27:17 I want to invite you to join us in 27:20 prayer as we go out. 27:22 We want to help you to know that 27:25 we are praying for you that our hearts 27:27 are really into home and as you start 27:30 preparing for the heavenly home, 27:32 you pray with us now. 27:35 Heavenly Father, we're so thankful 27:37 for the home. And Lord we've been 27:39 talking about men today, 27:40 and we want to be the men of God, 27:43 yes, that you meant for us to be. 27:46 Oh, Lord we recognize that there are 27:48 those things out there in society, 27:50 which are the enemies of our homes. 27:51 We also recognize the importance that that 27:54 we as men, be the men that you meant for 27:57 us to be Lord and that we don't let society. |
Revised 2014-12-17