Welcome back to Thinking About Home. 00:00:31.56\00:00:32.53 I am Kathy Matthews, and I want to tell 00:00:32.54\00:00:36.64 you that we are really having a good 00:00:36.67\00:00:38.77 conversation here. We want you to join 00:00:38.80\00:00:40.38 us on the decision making process. That's 00:00:40.41\00:00:43.29 what we have been discussing, and we've 00:00:43.32\00:00:47.04 been talking about mental faculties 00:00:47.07\00:00:49.38 are all involved in the decision making 00:00:49.41\00:00:51.80 process, the will has to have the conscience, 00:00:51.83\00:00:56.38 the common sense and the heart's desire 00:00:56.41\00:00:58.64 all in unity to make a decent decision, 00:00:58.67\00:01:02.09 and I know that that is something that is 00:01:02.12\00:01:05.02 so important in a family and so important 00:01:05.05\00:01:07.19 to adults as well the adults or parents 00:01:07.22\00:01:10.06 teaching it to their children. I hope that 00:01:10.09\00:01:13.44 you can use this information that we are 00:01:13.47\00:01:15.46 going to be sharing with you today and it's, 00:01:15.49\00:01:18.51 we're going to be also talking about how 00:01:18.54\00:01:20.33 Satan has destroyed our ability to choose, 00:01:20.36\00:01:23.22 that's really what we're gonna be talking 00:01:23.25\00:01:25.12 about for the most today. And our 00:01:25.15\00:01:27.48 guest is Dr. David Sedlacek from 00:01:27.51\00:01:29.67 Weimar Institute. And I want to 00:01:29.70\00:01:31.26 thank you again for being with us. 00:01:31.29\00:01:32.73 Thank you so much Kathy. We have this 00:01:32.76\00:01:35.79 ability to choose, but we don't know how 00:01:35.82\00:01:40.70 to do it well. Satan has done a work 00:01:40.73\00:01:42.70 on us hasn't he? Umm-Umm he sure has. 00:01:42.73\00:01:45.66 What can you share with us on how his work 00:01:45.69\00:01:50.98 has destroyed that choice and the 00:01:51.01\00:01:54.95 difficulty that we have, not even understanding 00:01:54.98\00:01:57.31 how we can make a choice? Well he has done 00:01:57.34\00:02:01.57 his job very, very well. And there are a 00:02:01.60\00:02:04.62 number of different areas that he has 00:02:04.65\00:02:06.66 brought about in human experience to 00:02:06.69\00:02:10.41 pervert our capacity to make good decisions 00:02:10.44\00:02:14.29 and perhaps the first one that I want 00:02:14.32\00:02:17.22 to talk about is how we as parents either 00:02:17.25\00:02:21.98 promote healthy decision making on the 00:02:22.01\00:02:24.62 part of our children, or how we damage their 00:02:24.65\00:02:29.19 capacity to make healthy choices in the future, 00:02:29.22\00:02:31.22 right. And when we look at our children as 00:02:31.25\00:02:38.97 individuals, as little people, a part of what 00:02:39.00\00:02:46.40 we want to do if we look at them as true 00:02:46.43\00:02:48.78 individuals and people, and not just an 00:02:48.81\00:02:50.51 extension of us, is that we want to 00:02:50.54\00:02:53.26 promote their capacity to use their mental 00:02:53.29\00:02:55.77 faculties, all of them, which result in their 00:02:55.80\00:02:59.64 making healthy decisions for themselves, right. 00:02:59.67\00:03:02.41 But, some parents either because 00:03:02.44\00:03:04.79 they're really afraid to allow children to 00:03:04.82\00:03:08.68 make decisions, or because they feel a 00:03:08.71\00:03:12.29 need to be in control of their world so much 00:03:12.32\00:03:14.98 themselves don't promote in their children 00:03:15.01\00:03:19.88 the capacity to make good decisions. 00:03:19.91\00:03:22.74 They either over control and make all 00:03:22.77\00:03:25.60 the decisions for them or they allow the kids 00:03:25.63\00:03:30.43 to make whatever decisions they want to 00:03:30.46\00:03:32.09 make without any restraint or guidance, 00:03:32.12\00:03:34.51 right. To teach them the process, 00:03:34.54\00:03:36.97 right and either way is damaging to children. 00:03:37.00\00:03:39.96 That's an area where I have had some 00:03:39.99\00:03:43.12 difficulty with especially when I was 00:03:43.15\00:03:47.56 teaching some classes on parenting that 00:03:47.59\00:03:50.96 people tend to want to allow their children 00:03:50.99\00:03:54.02 to make too many decisions too soon. 00:03:54.05\00:03:56.08 I have seen that, I have seen that 00:03:56.11\00:03:58.36 quite a lot. And I think that is not the 00:03:58.39\00:04:03.42 best way to allow your child, you got to 00:04:03.45\00:04:05.74 choose more for them when they're in the 00:04:05.77\00:04:07.98 younger years and so forth. But, the 00:04:08.01\00:04:10.60 idea isn't it to, is to allow the child 00:04:10.63\00:04:12.99 to learn to choose. That's right and 00:04:13.02\00:04:15.14 one of my favorite writer says that 00:04:15.17\00:04:17.96 we need to allow them that capacity as 00:04:17.99\00:04:20.24 early as it is reasonable for them, 00:04:20.27\00:04:22.91 reasonable, and that's what the wisdom, 00:04:22.94\00:04:23.91 right comes in. There are some parents 00:04:23.92\00:04:26.93 I know who are the opposite extreme and 00:04:26.96\00:04:28.69 they want to control and make every decision 00:04:28.72\00:04:31.66 until the child leaves home and the child 00:04:31.69\00:04:34.25 is totally unprepared to make decision 00:04:34.28\00:04:36.57 and really rebels against parental authority. 00:04:36.60\00:04:39.16 Right and all of this having to do with 00:04:39.19\00:04:40.90 preparing for our heavenly home or 00:04:40.93\00:04:43.12 choosing salvation. That's right, I mean 00:04:43.15\00:04:45.16 all of this program, all of the ones that 00:04:45.19\00:04:47.47 we've been doing has to do with 00:04:47.50\00:04:49.64 helping us along both adult and children 00:04:49.67\00:04:53.56 to choose the right path. Exactly right 00:04:53.59\00:04:58.12 and to be able to have a choice as the 00:04:58.15\00:05:01.03 Psalms says the choice that's fixed, 00:05:01.06\00:05:02.86 oh God my choice is fixed, I'm settled down 00:05:02.89\00:05:06.87 this I'm not indecisive, I'm not wishy-washy. 00:05:06.90\00:05:09.95 Right, blowing with the wind. Exactly, 00:05:09.98\00:05:12.10 I can make good firm decisions and I have a 00:05:12.13\00:05:15.97 rational basis upon which to do it, which is 00:05:16.00\00:05:19.75 based upon God speaking to me also 00:05:19.78\00:05:23.77 what makes good sense as well as 00:05:23.80\00:05:26.59 the desires that God and I have in common. 00:05:26.62\00:05:28.29 Right, you know what's best or what's right and 00:05:28.32\00:05:35.17 what's best and what is my heart's desire 00:05:35.20\00:05:39.99 should all be yes or no, right? That's right. 00:05:40.02\00:05:45.25 They all should be in agreement, right? 00:05:45.28\00:05:46.67 That's right, okay. But, sometimes what 00:05:46.70\00:05:48.48 happens is that Satan makes one of the 00:05:48.51\00:05:52.05 facilities stronger than the others, and so 00:05:52.08\00:05:55.52 they're not all in harmony. For example, 00:05:55.55\00:05:58.22 if you take a look at the area of appetite 00:05:58.25\00:06:00.67 and passion again briefly, okay. You know 00:06:00.70\00:06:02.77 we may know for example that to lust 00:06:02.80\00:06:07.20 after someone other than our wives, right, 00:06:07.23\00:06:09.45 is by way of conscience wrong. We know 00:06:09.48\00:06:13.91 its morally not right, and we know its not 00:06:13.94\00:06:16.59 reasonable, oh boy if I do that I could 00:06:16.62\00:06:18.79 possibly you know have all kinds of conflict 00:06:18.82\00:06:21.72 in my family and I might get some kind 00:06:21.75\00:06:23.01 of disease whatever, yes. So the reasons 00:06:23.04\00:06:24.88 why I shouldn't do it either. It's not best, 00:06:24.91\00:06:26.16 yes. But because Satan gets me to 00:06:26.19\00:06:31.65 believe that this is what I really should do 00:06:31.68\00:06:35.69 and I really what that then I dawn the voice 00:06:35.72\00:06:39.25 of conscience and reason and the vote of 00:06:39.28\00:06:43.12 heart's desire, right. Our passion gets 00:06:43.15\00:06:46.76 stronger I go ahead and make a decision 00:06:46.79\00:06:48.81 to do something that I should have never 00:06:48.84\00:06:51.19 ever done, right. And so Satan is 00:06:51.22\00:06:54.12 still in the business of trying to exalt 00:06:54.15\00:06:55.97 heart's desire. Right, so, there is the true 00:06:56.00\00:06:58.66 heart's desire that God has given us to be 00:06:58.69\00:07:01.57 effect, you know our affections wrapped 00:07:01.60\00:07:03.75 around what's right and what's best and 00:07:03.78\00:07:05.94 then there's that perverted heart's desire 00:07:05.97\00:07:07.96 that just leads into selfishness. Exactly, 00:07:07.99\00:07:10.63 just total selfishness, that's right, okay, 00:07:10.66\00:07:12.55 that's right. And so we wanna as you said 00:07:12.58\00:07:16.47 earlier, have an equal vote for each of them, 00:07:16.50\00:07:20.33 and they all need to be in agreement if it's 00:07:20.36\00:07:21.75 going to be in harmony with God, okay. But, 00:07:21.78\00:07:23.78 there's another thing that Satan does to try 00:07:23.81\00:07:27.39 and pervert our capacity to make healthy 00:07:27.42\00:07:30.18 choices too and that we might call the area 00:07:30.21\00:07:33.77 of addiction or bondages. When I'm 00:07:33.80\00:07:37.75 addicted to either a thing like that let say 00:07:37.78\00:07:42.76 alcohol or drugs or sex, or even work, or 00:07:42.79\00:07:48.15 even some of the socially acceptable addictions 00:07:48.18\00:07:50.39 like food or Christian service even for 00:07:50.42\00:07:54.39 some people can be an addiction, yes, yes. 00:07:54.42\00:07:55.97 When I'm addicted to those kinds of things, 00:07:56.00\00:08:00.32 what is happening dynamically that I get 00:08:00.35\00:08:03.10 obsessed with that thing and I get 00:08:03.13\00:08:05.84 preoccupied with that thing and my whole 00:08:05.87\00:08:10.13 sense of identity very often is tied up with 00:08:10.16\00:08:13.62 that thing and many times that addiction I'm 00:08:13.65\00:08:18.51 engaging in an addiction to meet a need of my 00:08:18.54\00:08:22.93 heart that's never been met by anything else. 00:08:22.96\00:08:25.57 Maybe I need to feel good or need to be 00:08:25.60\00:08:29.07 loved and ultimately we know that in a 00:08:29.10\00:08:32.24 Christian sense only God can fill those needs, 00:08:32.27\00:08:35.15 right. But when we don't know that we 00:08:35.18\00:08:36.97 can go to him for that very often we get 00:08:37.00\00:08:39.19 perverted into these areas that become very 00:08:39.22\00:08:42.45 much a bondage and when a bondage has 00:08:42.48\00:08:45.26 become a real thing in my life. Basically what 00:08:45.29\00:08:49.48 happens is the addiction makes the decision 00:08:49.51\00:08:51.50 for me rather than me making the decision for 00:08:51.53\00:08:56.04 myself. And so we get into an area very 00:08:56.07\00:09:00.21 often that there been books written that 00:09:00.24\00:09:02.22 have been called disabilities of the 00:09:02.25\00:09:04.52 Will. That basically talk about how 00:09:04.55\00:09:07.65 bondage to addiction takes us out of the 00:09:07.68\00:09:11.81 capacity to make a healthy choice at all, 00:09:11.84\00:09:14.97 basically I am making a choice based upon my 00:09:15.00\00:09:17.59 neediness or upon basically my compulsion 00:09:17.62\00:09:22.28 to the addiction now which has taken me 00:09:22.31\00:09:24.50 over, taken my will over rather than 00:09:24.53\00:09:27.38 based upon any sense of what's 00:09:27.41\00:09:30.07 reasonable or what's right. Addiction 00:09:30.10\00:09:32.93 would be a habit gone away or what? 00:09:32.96\00:09:36.82 Well it is, yet my favorite definition for 00:09:36.85\00:09:39.26 addiction is that it's a search for God's love 00:09:39.29\00:09:41.25 that's gonna tray, because I think that's 00:09:41.28\00:09:44.04 the search that we're all on this life, 00:09:44.07\00:09:46.18 okay is for an experience of intimacy 00:09:46.21\00:09:49.06 with Jesus and to know that he 00:09:49.09\00:09:51.52 loves us so much that's. I really 00:09:51.55\00:09:54.24 believe it. That's a desire of every 00:09:54.27\00:09:55.24 human heart, and only Jesus can fully 00:09:55.25\00:09:57.65 fill that desire. No other thing can do 00:09:57.68\00:10:00.69 that and that's why addictions are so 00:10:00.72\00:10:03.08 damaging because really the perversions 00:10:03.11\00:10:05.82 of that which only God can 00:10:05.85\00:10:10.46 feel for us, really feel, exactly right. 00:10:10.49\00:10:11.81 And so that's another avenue so often 00:10:11.84\00:10:15.85 I worked with addicts now for many, 00:10:15.88\00:10:18.98 many years and that's one of the things 00:10:19.01\00:10:21.24 that we see common to addiction and 00:10:21.27\00:10:24.93 what we try to do in our treatment is 00:10:24.96\00:10:26.77 if you look at addiction as a relational 00:10:26.80\00:10:28.73 element, then the solution to it is 00:10:28.76\00:10:32.19 relational, in other words, to replace it, 00:10:32.22\00:10:35.49 with love for Jesus, yes. With love for 00:10:35.52\00:10:38.47 Jesus experiential it really, something 00:10:38.50\00:10:40.50 better. Yes, to take the old and 00:10:40.53\00:10:43.26 replace it with something better. And 00:10:43.29\00:10:45.04 Jesus is all about freedom now, 00:10:45.07\00:10:46.72 you see Jesus is about freedom to choose. 00:10:46.75\00:10:50.59 And Romans 8 is very, very clear 00:10:50.62\00:10:53.07 about that Jesus now through our 00:10:53.10\00:10:57.05 death to our self gives us freedom and 00:10:57.08\00:10:59.95 we're under according to James the love 00:10:59.98\00:11:01.85 of liberty, right which means that when 00:11:01.88\00:11:04.81 we formally when we were in bondage, 00:11:04.84\00:11:06.62 we though we had freedom but our 00:11:06.65\00:11:08.55 choices we are all being made for us, right. 00:11:08.58\00:11:10.74 Now we have the choice in Jesus to either 00:11:10.77\00:11:12.69 choose right or wrong. We're not in 00:11:12.72\00:11:15.32 bondage to always having to 00:11:15.35\00:11:16.65 choosing wrong. Just wrong. 00:11:16.68\00:11:18.27 To have freedom from sin, self and Satan. 00:11:18.30\00:11:21.40 Exactly right, okay, exactly right, and 00:11:21.43\00:11:24.07 so in Jesus we have that. Another thing 00:11:24.10\00:11:27.85 that Satan has done, he has 00:11:27.88\00:11:29.84 created in many people what we call a 00:11:29.87\00:11:33.12 victim mindset. Now this is a very, very 00:11:33.15\00:11:36.31 interesting phenomena because when I 00:11:36.34\00:11:38.94 have a victim mindset which is often 00:11:38.97\00:11:42.56 established though having been victimized, 00:11:42.59\00:11:45.18 having been really hurt or damaged 00:11:45.21\00:11:47.90 through other people or through a series 00:11:47.93\00:11:50.61 of circumstances in my life. Then what 00:11:50.64\00:11:53.39 ends up happen is I develop an 00:11:53.42\00:11:55.23 expectancy that I'm gonna be 00:11:55.26\00:11:57.26 victimize that other people are 00:11:57.29\00:11:59.11 gonna take advantage of me. 00:11:59.14\00:12:00.43 That's just what's gonna happen to me. 00:12:00.46\00:12:01.56 And life is gonna be go bad, yes, okay. 00:12:01.59\00:12:03.70 And one of the interesting thing 00:12:03.73\00:12:06.06 about victims though is that there's 00:12:06.09\00:12:08.19 often a pay off to being a victim. In other 00:12:08.22\00:12:10.97 words, that encourages it. Well it does 00:12:11.00\00:12:14.07 encourage it but the pay off is if I'm a 00:12:14.10\00:12:17.44 victim then life happens to me. I don't 00:12:17.47\00:12:21.40 choose the course of my life, choose life 00:12:21.43\00:12:23.20 I see yes. And so if life just happens 00:12:23.23\00:12:26.11 to me, poor me, is life awful to me, 00:12:26.14\00:12:29.40 yes and I don't have to be responsible 00:12:29.43\00:12:32.55 for my decisions, okay. You see that's 00:12:32.58\00:12:36.03 how it plays into damaging the will in the 00:12:36.06\00:12:39.37 decision making process, right. Because 00:12:39.40\00:12:41.57 I don't have to responsible, I am 00:12:41.60\00:12:43.64 just a victim. Other people make 00:12:43.67\00:12:45.33 you know like decisions for me 00:12:45.36\00:12:47.51 and I just go along with life. 00:12:47.54\00:12:49.59 It becomes almost an encouraged trap 00:12:49.62\00:12:52.39 or, exactly right something like that. 00:12:52.42\00:12:55.03 Exactly right and so a lot of the 00:12:55.06\00:12:57.58 work when we see this phenomena 00:12:57.61\00:12:59.30 going on with people who come to us 00:12:59.33\00:13:01.04 for counseling, what we do is we have 00:13:01.07\00:13:03.68 to teach them to make decisions. 00:13:03.71\00:13:06.41 This is so important for people 00:13:06.44\00:13:08.49 who are in that particular trap. 00:13:08.52\00:13:11.25 And the simple process that we've given 00:13:11.28\00:13:12.83 here on the programs has been 00:13:12.86\00:13:14.83 that way of teaching do you use that? 00:13:14.86\00:13:17.11 That's a big part of it, we also have to 00:13:17.14\00:13:19.64 many times teach victims how to fight. 00:13:19.67\00:13:21.63 In what way? What do you mean fight? 00:13:21.66\00:13:24.35 Well, victims are the kind of people 00:13:24.38\00:13:26.71 who tend to lay down and 00:13:26.74\00:13:29.65 let people walk all over them. Right. 00:13:29.68\00:13:31.45 And they don't how to confront an issue? 00:13:31.48\00:13:33.75 Exactly to fight Biblically you know 00:13:33.78\00:13:36.45 the Bible says that God wants to 00:13:36.48\00:13:38.88 teach our fingers to fight and our 00:13:38.91\00:13:40.53 hands to war, okay. And so there is a 00:13:40.56\00:13:44.86 capacity to stand and to fight. See we're 00:13:44.89\00:13:47.34 being trained in these last days to be 00:13:47.37\00:13:49.35 soldiers, right. Soldiers have to 00:13:49.38\00:13:51.08 know how to fight. Because we're in 00:13:51.11\00:13:52.35 the church militant. And it's the fight 00:13:52.38\00:13:54.14 of faith, right and so Satan 00:13:54.17\00:13:56.69 just runs their capacity. 00:13:56.72\00:13:58.08 So, just make it clear you're not talking 00:13:58.11\00:13:59.08 about anything physical? No, I'm 00:13:59.09\00:14:02.49 not talking about or nor verbal 00:14:02.52\00:14:03.49 abuse, right, I'm not talking about that, 00:14:03.50\00:14:04.47 but I'm talking about how to stand 00:14:04.48\00:14:05.66 in a dignity of Jesus. Right with a strong mind. 00:14:05.69\00:14:08.80 And a lot of people just, victimization 00:14:08.83\00:14:11.98 just takes us out of that capacity, 00:14:12.01\00:14:13.43 so that is what we are trying 00:14:13.46\00:14:16.01 to teach, get across, that's right. 00:14:16.04\00:14:18.34 Oh yeah, so after the victim mindset, 00:14:18.37\00:14:21.23 we have through doubt how Satan has 00:14:21.26\00:14:25.18 destroyed our choosing through doubt? 00:14:25.21\00:14:28.02 That is one of his most effective weapons 00:14:28.05\00:14:31.24 is doubt. There are so many people 00:14:31.27\00:14:34.60 that I've worked with who are so 00:14:34.63\00:14:37.19 indecisive about making any kind 00:14:37.22\00:14:39.58 of decision whatsoever. They doubt 00:14:39.61\00:14:41.51 themselves, they question themselves 00:14:41.54\00:14:43.85 all over the place they doubt salvation, 00:14:43.88\00:14:47.04 they doubt everything. I have to say something 00:14:47.07\00:14:49.28 here, please. The Pilgrim's Progress 00:14:49.31\00:14:52.25 that John Bunyan wrote, yes. 00:14:52.28\00:14:54.67 And it was put on cassette here some 00:14:54.70\00:14:57.23 years ago by a Adventist Family that 00:14:57.26\00:15:00.63 did a wonderful production on that 00:15:00.66\00:15:02.59 and in it as I was listening to it and 00:15:02.62\00:15:05.09 I have listen to it many, many times, 00:15:05.12\00:15:06.09 me too. It's good isn't it? And when not 00:15:06.10\00:15:10.92 when the first time I heard it but 00:15:10.95\00:15:12.40 several times after I heard it and 00:15:12.43\00:15:14.10 pilgrim or the who is it Christian and his 00:15:14.13\00:15:18.27 unfaithful, which ever one it is 00:15:18.30\00:15:19.90 that's going to doubting castle and they 00:15:19.93\00:15:22.87 get trapped in doubting castle, that's right. 00:15:22.90\00:15:25.63 And giant despair that became so 00:15:25.66\00:15:28.82 real to me after some experiences in 00:15:28.85\00:15:31.46 my walk with Christ. And to be caught 00:15:31.49\00:15:35.93 in a castle of doubt and beaten by 00:15:35.96\00:15:39.29 giant despair is I can see how it 00:15:39.32\00:15:43.30 destroys your ability to choose 00:15:43.33\00:15:45.43 if you're just caught under that. 00:15:45.46\00:15:47.48 You're absolutely right and very often what 00:15:47.51\00:15:50.50 happens is that indecisiveness you know 00:15:50.53\00:15:53.47 doubt leads us to despair. It leads us, 00:15:53.50\00:15:57.54 it's almost like cause and effect, 00:15:57.57\00:15:59.96 it's the next step and that of course leads 00:15:59.99\00:16:03.16 to hopelessness and the thoughts of 00:16:03.19\00:16:05.88 suicide and or very often in the Christian 00:16:05.91\00:16:09.52 world, this is what I see, people either 00:16:09.55\00:16:11.85 doubting their salvation or saying oh I must 00:16:11.88\00:16:15.58 have committed the unpardonable 00:16:15.61\00:16:17.04 sin, right, right. I hear that one very 00:16:17.07\00:16:19.23 often and that's a very effective 00:16:19.26\00:16:20.46 bondage of the enemy, he's 00:16:20.49\00:16:22.51 got us then if we stay there. 00:16:22.54\00:16:24.79 But, there's a key of promise. The key of 00:16:24.82\00:16:26.95 promise we always have that, right we 00:16:26.98\00:16:29.50 always can get out. And then what? Well, 00:16:29.53\00:16:32.63 another very effective tool of the enemy 00:16:32.66\00:16:36.36 and I love, you see I love exposing 00:16:36.39\00:16:38.98 the enemy here because if we don't know 00:16:39.01\00:16:41.49 the enemy's tactics and we're bound 00:16:41.52\00:16:44.50 to fall into them, right. But when we 00:16:44.53\00:16:46.26 know his tactics then we can defeat 00:16:46.29\00:16:48.18 him can't we? And so the next one 00:16:48.21\00:16:51.01 is through lies, through deceit, through 00:16:51.04\00:16:53.75 false beliefs and very often what ends 00:16:53.78\00:16:57.72 happening is that we believe messages 00:16:57.75\00:17:01.87 about ourselves that are not true. 00:17:01.90\00:17:04.39 We for example may have been told 00:17:04.42\00:17:08.86 you're no good, you're never going to 00:17:08.89\00:17:11.74 amount to nothing, I'm sorry 00:17:11.77\00:17:13.34 I ever had you, you know I don't want 00:17:13.37\00:17:15.65 you, I don't want you as my son, 00:17:15.68\00:17:16.72 I'm embarrassed about you. You know 00:17:16.75\00:17:18.12 when children hear those kind of 00:17:18.15\00:17:20.01 messages or experience those kinds of 00:17:20.04\00:17:21.81 things from their family. Basically they 00:17:21.84\00:17:25.12 have no capacity to say that's not true, 00:17:25.15\00:17:28.06 right. Kids are like a sponge and 00:17:28.09\00:17:30.05 they're gonna take in whatever comes 00:17:30.08\00:17:32.13 their way especially from people like 00:17:32.16\00:17:34.11 mom and dad. And so when that's 00:17:34.14\00:17:37.33 been their experience, they believe well I 00:17:37.36\00:17:39.69 must be no good at all, right. 00:17:39.72\00:17:41.55 You know I must be a total loser. 00:17:41.58\00:17:43.74 Even if they don't know they act like it right, 00:17:43.77\00:17:45.54 they don't always act like they're thinking 00:17:45.57\00:17:47.95 like that. But, inside the message is 00:17:47.98\00:17:50.42 like little a tape recorder playing deep 00:17:50.45\00:17:52.14 inside and it often colors their expectations 00:17:52.17\00:17:57.15 of life, it colors whether they will 00:17:57.18\00:18:00.47 really succeed or not succeed in life. 00:18:00.50\00:18:03.94 And Satan knows that if he can get 00:18:03.97\00:18:05.83 us to succeed to be believe lies that 00:18:05.86\00:18:09.73 he has us in a trap, right. And the 00:18:09.76\00:18:11.90 wonderful thing that I see is when I look 00:18:11.93\00:18:14.14 at Jesus life. Jesus heard a message from 00:18:14.17\00:18:19.08 his father that said, this is my beloved 00:18:19.11\00:18:23.25 son in whom I'm well pleased. 00:18:23.28\00:18:25.54 A message of affirmation and so during 00:18:25.57\00:18:28.80 dark times which Jesus had many of them, 00:18:28.83\00:18:32.65 yes. That message was there, ringing, 00:18:32.68\00:18:35.46 this is my beloved son. You know I 00:18:35.49\00:18:38.68 delight in you, you're mine and I'm 00:18:38.71\00:18:41.62 here with you and for you and I'm 00:18:41.65\00:18:43.82 well pleased in you that is what Jesus 00:18:43.85\00:18:47.30 held on to and he held on it by faith 00:18:47.33\00:18:50.52 but you see the word has to be spoken and 00:18:50.55\00:18:54.21 received of truth to counteract the lies 00:18:54.24\00:18:59.24 And you have to grasp a hold of it 00:18:59.27\00:19:02.02 and begin to believe it, exactly, and new pathways 00:19:02.05\00:19:04.57 are formed in your terrain. That's exactly 00:19:04.60\00:19:06.61 what happens, yes, to counteract the lies. 00:19:06.64\00:19:09.10 But again Satan, one of his major arsenals 00:19:09.13\00:19:12.56 is deception. And so this is one of the major 00:19:12.59\00:19:16.31 areas that he uses to cripple our capacity 00:19:16.34\00:19:19.78 to choose is through lies, yeah. Now, 00:19:19.81\00:19:26.81 another one that I want to talk about 00:19:26.84\00:19:29.06 briefly is though the experience of abuse 00:19:29.09\00:19:31.46 in families. We have been working 00:19:31.49\00:19:36.47 now with families that have been abused for 00:19:36.50\00:19:39.32 many, many years and you may believe 00:19:39.35\00:19:43.49 some of the stories that we hear and 00:19:43.52\00:19:46.40 they've been not only families that have 00:19:46.43\00:19:50.53 been raised in non-Christian 00:19:50.56\00:19:53.12 environments, but also families that 00:19:53.15\00:19:55.39 have been raised in Christian environments, 00:19:55.42\00:19:57.44 and the abuse has been sometimes 00:19:57.47\00:20:01.32 verbal abuse, sometimes emotional abuse, 00:20:01.35\00:20:04.60 physical abuse, what we might even call 00:20:04.63\00:20:07.67 spiritual abuse and sexual abuse. 00:20:07.70\00:20:10.42 All these different kinds of abuse we 00:20:10.45\00:20:13.98 have to admit are happening even in our 00:20:14.01\00:20:17.30 midst as well as out there in the world, 00:20:17.33\00:20:20.13 you know we want to believe its not 00:20:20.16\00:20:21.58 happening here, but that's not really what 00:20:21.61\00:20:24.42 the truth of the matter is, right. And 00:20:24.45\00:20:27.22 very often when children are raised in 00:20:27.25\00:20:30.74 that kind of situation, they live in a 00:20:30.77\00:20:35.59 mode of living, which is basically survival. 00:20:35.62\00:20:38.94 You know I like to use the analogy 00:20:38.97\00:20:41.46 of a plant in the springtime, where if 00:20:41.49\00:20:46.85 I'm thriving you know if I'm getting plenty 00:20:46.88\00:20:49.61 of water as a plant and if I'm exposed to 00:20:49.64\00:20:52.44 sunshine and fresh air, then I'm going to 00:20:52.47\00:20:55.50 blossom into this beautiful, beautiful 00:20:55.53\00:20:57.92 blossom flower. But when I don't get 00:20:57.95\00:21:03.63 that nurturing and I'm only surviving, 00:21:03.66\00:21:06.64 I'm like a plant where may be I've 00:21:06.67\00:21:09.58 budded but I only stay a bud, 00:21:09.61\00:21:12.52 I never reach my full potential. 00:21:12.55\00:21:15.28 Never really grow, that's right. And 00:21:15.31\00:21:18.22 Satan has people like that living a 00:21:18.25\00:21:22.59 lifetime of fear and a lifetime of shame, 00:21:22.62\00:21:25.83 and very often their experience is almost 00:21:25.86\00:21:29.42 like the experience of Job in some ways. 00:21:29.45\00:21:31.64 Remember in Job, he said that which I 00:21:31.67\00:21:33.65 have feared greatly has come upon me. 00:21:33.68\00:21:36.34 And so basically their fears very often 00:21:36.37\00:21:40.43 determine their life and so are they 00:21:40.46\00:21:43.32 even open to taking a look at other 00:21:43.35\00:21:46.04 possibilities of life, you know things that 00:21:46.07\00:21:48.31 might be greater than where they're that. 00:21:48.34\00:21:51.95 Many of them don't even think of 00:21:51.98\00:21:53.79 making choices other than choices 00:21:53.82\00:21:56.10 which are the choices that have 00:21:56.13\00:21:58.59 been damaging choices which have 00:21:58.62\00:22:00.33 been limiting choices. It's all they knew. 00:22:00.36\00:22:02.37 That's all they knew. And so 00:22:02.40\00:22:04.48 Satan uses that to damage even Christian 00:22:04.51\00:22:07.74 people and keep them in either 00:22:07.77\00:22:10.53 relationships that have been abusive, 00:22:10.56\00:22:12.53 that's the kind of relationship that 00:22:12.56\00:22:14.30 they'll chose, and their choices will be 00:22:14.33\00:22:16.87 predictable, because that's what they 00:22:16.90\00:22:19.91 believe they deserve. And so that's 00:22:19.94\00:22:22.64 another way that Satan uses to try 00:22:22.67\00:22:25.41 and destroy our capacity to really 00:22:25.44\00:22:27.54 make healthy decisions. Wow, they need this, 00:22:27.57\00:22:32.48 don't they? They need to understand 00:22:32.51\00:22:33.88 how to make, we all need to understand 00:22:33.91\00:22:36.38 how to make better decisions don't 00:22:36.41\00:22:37.97 we and choices, we do. So, that we 00:22:38.00\00:22:40.30 don't have our children growing up 00:22:40.33\00:22:42.27 that are incapable of making 00:22:42.30\00:22:43.93 the choice of salvation. 00:22:43.96\00:22:45.67 That's right, that's right. Where do wanna go now? 00:22:45.70\00:22:48.42 Well, I'd like to talk about how we can 00:22:48.45\00:22:50.99 learn to choose again. I'd like to take us, 00:22:51.02\00:22:53.45 yes we need that. A few steps about 00:22:53.48\00:22:55.52 how to begin making some healthy decisions. 00:22:55.55\00:22:58.51 And so the first step would be to embrace 00:22:58.54\00:23:01.45 whatever the condition that we find and 00:23:01.48\00:23:04.36 we talked about several of them now, 00:23:04.39\00:23:06.02 but embrace it is true. You know a 00:23:06.05\00:23:09.33 lot of us don't want to embrace the 00:23:09.36\00:23:11.29 realty of our woundedness or of 00:23:11.32\00:23:14.03 our brokenness or of our bondage, and so 00:23:14.06\00:23:17.29 the first thing we need to do is come out 00:23:17.32\00:23:19.23 the world of denial, and to acknowledge 00:23:19.26\00:23:22.59 that it's true and to embrace it, what I 00:23:22.62\00:23:24.57 mean by embarrassing it is, is to really 00:23:24.60\00:23:27.61 bring that thing into my heart as being 00:23:27.64\00:23:30.55 true for me to settle it and accept 00:23:30.58\00:23:33.41 that this is my condition, you know. 00:23:33.44\00:23:36.21 And once I've done that then I'm in a 00:23:36.24\00:23:38.77 condition of doing something about it, 00:23:38.80\00:23:40.69 but as long as I don't want it to be 00:23:40.72\00:23:42.08 true even though it's true, I've not 00:23:42.11\00:23:44.01 embraced it, right. And so the first 00:23:44.04\00:23:45.73 thing is I need to expect it is true, and 00:23:45.76\00:23:48.75 embrace it as being true for me. 00:23:48.78\00:23:50.32 The second one is to acknowledge my 00:23:50.35\00:23:54.00 inability to change by myself. You know 00:23:54.03\00:23:57.45 I'm in a situation of bondage, I can't get 00:23:57.48\00:24:01.05 out by myself, I've tried getting out 00:24:01.08\00:24:03.38 by myself, I can't do it, but I need help, 00:24:03.41\00:24:06.68 right. Okay, okay and then, and 00:24:06.71\00:24:09.21 then tell God that you need and 00:24:09.24\00:24:13.26 want to have him change you. 00:24:13.29\00:24:15.55 This is my need. Lord I'm helpless 00:24:15.58\00:24:18.71 alone but I'm trusting that you 00:24:18.74\00:24:20.76 have power to change me. And Lord, 00:24:20.79\00:24:23.70 this is exactly what I need to have you do. 00:24:23.73\00:24:26.84 I see it and I need you to help me 00:24:26.87\00:24:29.79 in this particular area. Absolutely and be 00:24:29.82\00:24:31.00 specific, to be very specific, to be 00:24:31.03\00:24:34.49 very specific. Number four is maybe one 00:24:34.52\00:24:36.74 of most important steps and that is 00:24:36.77\00:24:38.65 to accept that there's power in 00:24:38.68\00:24:41.49 the word of God to create what it says. 00:24:41.52\00:24:44.52 It's available for you. Exactly, you see for 00:24:44.55\00:24:48.12 example lets just take the area of lies, 00:24:48.15\00:24:49.91 if I have believed lies, then there's a 00:24:49.94\00:24:55.29 corresponding truth in the word of God 00:24:55.32\00:24:57.86 to counteract that lie. And I need to find 00:24:57.89\00:25:00.87 the promise or the truth in the word 00:25:00.90\00:25:02.72 of God to counteract the light, I need to 00:25:02.75\00:25:04.88 renounce the lie, right so I'm not gonna 00:25:04.91\00:25:07.38 believe that anymore and I need to 00:25:07.41\00:25:09.14 then grab hold of the truth. One of the 00:25:09.17\00:25:12.57 most beautiful powerful things that we 00:25:12.60\00:25:14.47 know is that when Jesus speaks things 00:25:14.50\00:25:18.40 happen, yes. His word is living, 00:25:18.43\00:25:20.25 it's creative and so if I know that then 00:25:20.28\00:25:23.62 the word that I grab hold of, in his word, 00:25:23.65\00:25:26.64 the promise will create the whole new 00:25:26.67\00:25:29.69 reality in me, right. That is profoundly 00:25:29.72\00:25:32.93 powerful the promises that we have, 00:25:32.96\00:25:34.71 and the power that we have 00:25:34.74\00:25:36.06 as Christians in the word of God. 00:25:36.09\00:25:37.36 Can you do it if you don't believe it? 00:25:37.39\00:25:39.15 No, okay, no it cannot, okay. 00:25:39.18\00:25:42.51 It has to be connected with faith. 00:25:42.54\00:25:44.14 Okay we've got to wrap some of this, 00:25:44.17\00:25:45.85 that's right. And we've got more 00:25:45.88\00:25:46.92 things to share. Well the next thing is to 00:25:46.95\00:25:48.83 ask God to take you into his presence, 00:25:48.86\00:25:50.54 and to give you whatever experience 00:25:50.57\00:25:54.24 that you need to have in order to 00:25:54.27\00:25:56.52 counteract a lot of the lies that you 00:25:56.55\00:25:58.96 may have believed in the past, right. 00:25:58.99\00:26:00.64 You see this is connected to the previous 00:26:00.67\00:26:03.80 step of being grounded in the word 00:26:03.83\00:26:05.89 because you can have experience, and 00:26:05.92\00:26:10.81 experience alone without being connected 00:26:10.84\00:26:12.77 with the word can get you off into a 00:26:12.80\00:26:15.87 whole area that you don't wanna to go, 00:26:15.90\00:26:17.63 right. But, many times what we find 00:26:17.66\00:26:19.48 find that Jesus does is the same way 00:26:19.51\00:26:21.37 he did it two thousand years ago when 00:26:21.40\00:26:23.19 he was on earth, right. He gave 00:26:23.22\00:26:25.00 people experiences that built their faith, 00:26:25.03\00:26:27.57 right. He reached out to them because 00:26:27.60\00:26:29.72 he knew they were broken and needed it. 00:26:29.75\00:26:31.19 Well we find him doing exactly the same 00:26:31.22\00:26:33.51 thing today, okay. Giving people 00:26:33.54\00:26:35.66 healing experiences that are again 00:26:35.69\00:26:37.89 connected with realities from his word, 00:26:37.92\00:26:40.04 okay. These are powerful experiences. 00:26:40.07\00:26:41.98 The next one is if Jesus has given you 00:26:42.01\00:26:46.47 freedom because he's spoken the truth 00:26:46.50\00:26:48.37 to you himself through his word, 00:26:48.40\00:26:50.79 then you need to accept the newness 00:26:50.82\00:26:53.32 of life that he has given you, the new 00:26:53.35\00:26:54.82 experience that he has given. A lot of 00:26:54.85\00:26:57.34 times we wanna doubt that something 00:26:57.37\00:26:59.08 that Jesus has done is real. But, 00:26:59.11\00:27:01.17 once he's done it, we need to accept it 00:27:01.20\00:27:03.37 as being real. And so we wanna go 00:27:03.40\00:27:05.73 forward and accept this newness of life, 00:27:05.76\00:27:08.02 okay, and not doubt it at all. Then we 00:27:08.05\00:27:10.34 need to learn to walk in this just like a 00:27:10.37\00:27:12.79 new born babe walking in a newness of life. 00:27:12.82\00:27:15.45 You know it doesn't mean you're not 00:27:15.48\00:27:16.84 gonna make mistakes, it doesn't mean 00:27:16.87\00:27:18.25 God is gonna test it, you know so 00:27:18.28\00:27:20.46 that we can see that it's real but 00:27:20.49\00:27:22.44 like a new born babe in the faith we need 00:27:22.47\00:27:24.02 to learn to walk in this newness of life. 00:27:24.05\00:27:26.48 And know that God is patient with us 00:27:26.51\00:27:28.31 and he knows where we are, 00:27:28.34\00:27:29.45 okay and he loves us there. 00:27:29.48\00:27:31.73 Oh my! There is a lot to share isn't 00:27:31.76\00:27:34.65 there? There really is. I've really 00:27:34.68\00:27:36.47 enjoyed the programs that you've done, 00:27:36.50\00:27:38.05 and I want to invite our viewers that 00:27:38.08\00:27:40.03 if there is some information that you 00:27:40.06\00:27:41.69 would like on this, you can write or call 00:27:41.72\00:27:43.69 3ABN and we'll be praying for you. In fact 00:27:43.72\00:27:46.96 we're gonna do that now. Father in heaven, 00:27:46.99\00:27:50.77 we're so thankful that in Jesus there 00:27:50.80\00:27:53.76 is absolute and complete freedom 00:27:53.79\00:27:56.04 and Lord for any listeners right now 00:27:56.07\00:27:58.65 that maybe in bondage, who maybe 00:27:58.68\00:28:01.02 identifying some of the things that we shared. 00:28:01.05\00:28:03.32