Hi, I am Kathy
Matthews and this is Thinking
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About Home, and I am
glad to see that you are back
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with us again. We've
been discussing divorce
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and divorce recovery,
and how the spouses can
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handle all of these
problems that they go through.
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One of the things that
we've been discussing is the
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experience of divorce
from a spouse's perspective.
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And the guest
that we have again is
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Dr. David Scdlacck
from Weimar Institute.
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Dr Scdlacck, thank
you for being back again.
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You are so welcome.
Now we've talked about
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emotional divorce and
we've talked about legal
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divorce and economic
divorce, there's other kinds
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of divorce like co-parental
divorce and what happens
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to the mind
when you're divorced.
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That's right, that's
right. Why don't you help us
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understand those. Well
co-parental divorce means
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that even though
you're divorced from one
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and another, neither
of you are divorced from
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the children. The
children are going to be there,
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you are going to be
need to be actively involved
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in their lives until
forever. And so there is going
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to be if you will
still a common bond.
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They are going to be
needs for you to still talk
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with one another to
resolve issues. Yes.
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That relate to the children,
and so that reality means
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you can't run still from
some type of relationship
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with the person you
have divorced. Right.
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And so even though
that's painful and it might
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be something, might be
the last thing you want to do.
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It's something that
you need to face and deal
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with as a part of your new
reality as a single person.
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Maturing and growing.
That's right maturing and
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growing. The next one
that I want to talk about
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is what we call community
divorce. And in this one,
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it's like this we've been
a part of the same community,
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can we still do that?
Can we still go to the same
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church together? Can we
still go to the same functions
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together? Can we
still have the same friends?
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Can we be a part
of the same community?
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Those are difficult
questions and sometimes very
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painful questions. And
sometimes we can't, right.
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We can't be a part
of it, it seems like.
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We can't but when we try
to force it then we create
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a whole new set
of problems. I know
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one fellow whose
mother ran off with the pastor
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of his church, whose
father married another woman
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in the church and for
a while they went their
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separate ways, but now
they're all back in the same
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tiny little church. And
it's creating all kinds of
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problems because there
are unresolved issues that
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have never been
addressed and never been
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discussed and now they
are having to try to live
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together and
obviously creates a tremendous
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amount of strain on
their whole community system.
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So that is an aspect
that needs to be really looked
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at carefully. And the
final area in terms of divorce
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if we wanna look at is
what we call psychic divorce
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and that is my thoughts,
my process has been intimately
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involved with this
person and now it's not going
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to be involved in that
person with that person anymore.
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Who am I, alone
now as an individual?
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What are my thoughts
now as an individual,
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what will I do with
adjustment to life and
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typically women struggle
with this adjustment more
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than men do? Men tend to
go on about their business
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and not address some of
the interpsychic things,
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but women now have their
whole identity is wrapped
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up in the home more
than the identity of men
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tends to be. And so this
whole issue of themselves
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as a woman, themselves
as a person needs to be
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addressed and that's
what we talk about when
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we mean the psychic
aspects of divorce adjustment.
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Well then how can we in
the church meet the needs
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of divorcees? I guess
as you discussed this sort
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of thing I just think
and praise the Lord for the
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Lord's ways that can
help us through all of this
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and I think of spouses
that haven't been divorce
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to be more
sensitive in these areas.
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And it's teaching me
something just listening
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to you and I need to be
more sensitive in these areas,
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how can I do that? Well
again one is by rising above
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yourself, and entering
into the experience of the
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divorced person. And we
talked about that a little
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bit already but something
more concrete that I would
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like to recommend is
that if we expect that in the
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Christian church
today divorce is going
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to be a reality, even though
it's not God's perfect plan,
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it is reality, then we
want to begin taking a look
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at addressing it
in a systematic way.
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If I expected it is going
to be happening in my church,
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then my church needs
to develop some type of a
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program to address it.
A part of the reluctance
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of church is to do that
is because we've not wanted
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to accept it as
something that's happening.
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We wanted to put
our head in the sand but
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if we got into the point of
simply being realistic about
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it and being realistic
doesn't condone it by the way
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that's a part of what
people think they'll be doing,
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but if we are simply
being compassionate with people
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then we'll want to
build in some type of divorce
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recovery programs in
the churches that address
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these needs.
Sometimes singles ministries in
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churches have begun
taking to look at some of these
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issues because a lot of
people in singles ministries
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are people who have
had a history of divorce.
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Right. But I would
like to see it not even
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in the context of the
singles ministry but simply
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in the context of a
church family embracing
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the people who have found
themselves in this situation.
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Coming up alongside of
them inviting them home,
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not emotionally
distancing themselves and again
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some of the people
who struggle the most
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are children in divorces.
We are gonna talk about
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in a few minutes. But
children have tremendous
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needs, not just
spouses in the marriage
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and an effective church
ministry is going to build
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programming in for
spouses and for children,
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it's gonna invest
time in these taking a look
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at real needs
that the spouses have.
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Taking a look at real
needs of the children have
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and investing time and
investing themselves people,
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in these people who are
hurting at this particular
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time in their lives.
You know the whole subject
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makes me sad just
talking about it makes me
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realize how
inadequate really I have been
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in touching
someone's lives this way.
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And the faces of people
when they are pretending
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to be okay, I'm the
kind of person that you might
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consider the rescuer
if I know the problem.
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And I would like to be
able to help people in this
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area great deal more. Let's
talk about the children now,
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can we do that? Yes
we can. What can we do
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for the children who
have gone through this
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experience? Well I would like
to talk about the experience
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of a child going
through it and I might begin by
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talking about the
experience of my own children
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going through it
for a few minutes.
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Again I shared earlier
that when we told them that
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there was tremendous
pain and they don't know
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what's going on. Again
our children never saw us
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fight Cathy. They never
saw us arguing and yelling
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and screaming at each
other sometimes children
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do and they know.
Sometimes children honestly
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have said man you guys
should have gotten divorced
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long time ago would
have been easier on us. Yeah.
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Okay. But in your case
it sounds like it would have
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been in tremendous
shock to them all the more
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because they didn't
see that. That's right.
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Everything was
underground and so it came as a
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tremendous
shock to our children.
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And they first of
all go through their own
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grief process of
this can't be happening
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and they go through magical
thinking which is you know,
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was it me? Well that's a
part of it, am I responsible,
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what did I do wrong
that caused mommy and daddy
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to get divorced. But also
the other aspect of magical
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thinking is well
somehow we are going to be able
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to get mom and dad
back together again, okay.
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And so that's a part
of their belief system
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and I know my children for
years held on to that longing
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for us to get
back together again,
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because they love both
of us. You know deeply and
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dearly and, unfortunately
in my situation as often
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happens, my spouse
had difficulty embracing
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the need to hold me
up before the children.
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There was a lot of
suspicion, there was a lot of
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questions about dad, a
lot of you know when you
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come back home you
tell me what you know,
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what was going on kind of thing.
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Yeah. And a lot of put
downs and that really hurt
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the children a great
deal. And so children again
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need to be supported
and parents who are matured
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in spite of their own
pain will rise above that
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to the take a look at the
needs of their children in
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their particular situation.
One of the things that
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children need very, very
much is to know that they
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are still loved
by both mom and dad,
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just because they're
apart, it doesn't mean that
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the children are still
not precious and valuable
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and very deeply
loved by both of them.
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I know that was very,
very important for me.
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I made at a point
of calling my children
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every single night.
Really. For a period of time
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until I knew that they
knew that dad was gonna
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be there and for
them. And I would have them
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come over you know
on weekends and see them
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as often as I could see
them. And again I don't want
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to say that I did
everything perfectly because
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I didn't I know that
many things I did hurt the
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children too, it wasn't
because I intended to and
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you know that's what
happens most of the times
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is that we don't
intend to hurt our kids when
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we go through a divorce
but we either are not aware
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of their needs, we are
not sensitive to their needs
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and so annoyingly we
end up hurting our kids.
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Well you were talking
about one of the main problems
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was selfishness. That's
right, you know, that's right.
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So you wouldn't at
that time really be thinking
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of the children as
much as you should be.
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As well as immaturity.
Yes so that was one of the
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other things
that we talked about.
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You know the
natural tendency when we get
00:13:07.99\00:13:09.91
divorced is to
blame the other party.
00:13:09.94\00:13:13.91
You have to blame your
spouse and sometimes they
00:13:13.94\00:13:16.91
can tie-up bring our
children into that you know
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and you know, do you
know that momma did this,
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and this is, you know
she was such a rotten person
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in this area and
that's why we got divorced.
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You know, and that is
totally destructive to our
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children and I know as a
part of my own growing up,
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you know I saw that a
lot of the responsibility
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for the divorce was
mine. You know every story,
00:13:41.07\00:13:45.83
every divorce that I
ever come across it's never
00:13:45.86\00:13:49.66
just one person, never is.
There are always two people
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involved and each of
them has responsibility
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and I know that the day
came when the Lord showed
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me very clearly how I
contributed to this divorce
00:14:01.55\00:14:05.43
and you know he
told me to do? What?
00:14:05.46\00:14:07.99
He told me to write a
letter of apology to my wife,
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to my first wife. Did
you find that difficult?
00:14:13.75\00:14:15.84
Well not at that point,
earlier on it would have
00:14:15.87\00:14:20.83
been difficult. You would have.
00:14:20.86\00:14:21.83
Because I was just wasn't there.
00:14:21.84\00:14:23.77
You know it was it
was her. But when the Lord
00:14:23.80\00:14:27.26
showed me, me and
I was broken by that,
00:14:27.29\00:14:30.71
there was no more of
that pride and no more that
00:14:30.74\00:14:33.23
blaming it was look, I
am so sorry because I did
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this and made it
difficult for you in this area
00:14:39.96\00:14:43.17
and I was in touch with
myself and so many things
00:14:43.20\00:14:46.84
that you tried to help
me see I wasn't ready to see
00:14:46.87\00:14:49.66
at that point.
And I just wanted,
00:14:49.69\00:14:51.96
I want to acknowledge
those things to you and I
00:14:51.99\00:14:56.17
want to ask your forgiveness.
00:14:56.37\00:14:57.34
Right and when you did
that, that's probably not
00:14:57.35\00:14:58.84
to say that whatever
was your spouse's problems
00:14:58.87\00:15:02.99
that you approved all
of them, or condemn them
00:15:04.98\00:15:06.52
or thought that they
were not a problem anymore.
00:15:06.55\00:15:10.03
It's just that you are
talking about the part that
00:15:10.06\00:15:12.28
you played in it. Well
that's true, that's true,
00:15:12.31\00:15:14.77
but you know from my
perspective I needed to
00:15:15.59\00:15:19.78
almost accept a 100 percent
responsibility even though
00:15:19.81\00:15:22.46
realistically I know it
wasn't? But for me in terms
00:15:22.49\00:15:25.97
of my own psychic
dynamic, you know if I was going
00:15:26.00\00:15:29.23
to get away from
blaming her at all I
00:15:29.26\00:15:31.71
needed to accept
it as if it were mine.
00:15:31.74\00:15:33.57
Really. Totally, yeah
and so. And this helped you
00:15:34.32\00:15:37.94
to heal. It surely did,
it surely did and so today
00:15:37.97\00:15:41.81
I can look objectively
at the situation but there
00:15:41.84\00:15:45.27
is no more bitterness
there, because I have taken
00:15:45.30\00:15:48.75
a look at my part and
brought it before the Lord
00:15:48.78\00:15:50.59
and forgiven. Yes and made
restitution by the apology.
00:15:50.62\00:15:55.86
Yes. What other things
do the children go through
00:15:55.89\00:15:59.28
that we can talk about?
Well first of all children
00:15:59.31\00:16:05.30
go through a
period of confusion.
00:16:05.33\00:16:07.19
Where are my
loyalties in this now,
00:16:10.27\00:16:12.68
should I live with
mommy? Should I live with daddy?
00:16:14.54\00:16:18.60
If I go and live with this one,
00:16:19.28\00:16:20.61
will this one stop
loving me? You know,
00:16:21.76\00:16:24.16
am I being disloyal because
I choose this particular one.
00:16:24.19\00:16:29.09
Children are put in
tremendously difficult
00:16:29.12\00:16:32.24
spots. And some
children are furiously loyal.
00:16:32.27\00:16:33.75
That's right, that's
right, and sometimes legally
00:16:34.65\00:16:38.50
children don't have
choice about who they are
00:16:38.53\00:16:42.26
gonna stay with but
other times they do.
00:16:42.29\00:16:44.90
And so that the
sensitivity that we need to have
00:16:46.12\00:16:50.39
to the position that we
are putting our children
00:16:50.42\00:16:53.02
in and making decisions
like that and the confusion
00:16:53.05\00:16:57.04
that they have in
making those types of decisions
00:16:57.07\00:17:00.19
is something that
we can really help them
00:17:00.22\00:17:04.57
through by being aware
of it, by being aware of it.
00:17:04.60\00:17:08.37
This must be really hard
for you right now and even
00:17:08.40\00:17:13.50
though I would love
to have you come and live
00:17:13.53\00:17:15.06
with me, I want
what's best for you?
00:17:15.09\00:17:17.53
That should be your
attitude. That's right;
00:17:19.15\00:17:20.57
always what is best for
the child. Another area.
00:17:21.41\00:17:25.65
Well another area is
children have a gut feeling
00:17:26.37\00:17:35.51
that they've been
let down by both parents
00:17:35.54\00:17:38.18
and they sometimes
don't have words for that?
00:17:40.38\00:17:43.68
They don't know how to
articulate that very clearly?
00:17:44.37\00:17:46.68
You know children know.
Would that manifested self
00:17:49.18\00:17:51.30
and anger? Oh yes,
okay. And again remember the
00:17:51.33\00:17:56.22
normal grief
process for the child,
00:17:56.25\00:17:58.10
a part of that is anger.
But a lot of times you know,
00:17:58.13\00:18:02.25
if we and our sanctimonious
Christianity say well
00:18:02.28\00:18:06.70
it's not the case
for you to be angry,
00:18:06.73\00:18:08.18
what we do is we
prevent our children from having
00:18:09.71\00:18:12.39
that which is normal and
healthy for them to have.
00:18:12.42\00:18:15.37
Okay, when we say that isn't?
00:18:15.40\00:18:17.16
Not that its that
you can't be angry,
00:18:18.71\00:18:22.07
but how you handled the anger,
00:18:22.10\00:18:23.86
how you express the
anger that we want to teach
00:18:23.89\00:18:26.10
them. In
Ephesians Jesus told us.
00:18:26.13\00:18:28.26
I mean if you understand
it. He told us be angry
00:18:28.29\00:18:30.04
and sin not, okay. And so
there is an appropriateness
00:18:30.07\00:18:33.79
you know of anger, how
to handle the feelings.
00:18:33.82\00:18:37.46
Without sinning? Exactly
not to jump on either one
00:18:37.49\00:18:41.26
you know not to condemn
either one but to be able
00:18:42.16\00:18:45.73
to express, you know
mom, dad, you know when you
00:18:45.76\00:18:50.31
got married and you had
me you are committed to me
00:18:50.34\00:18:54.82
for life in the
context of a marriage and now
00:18:54.85\00:18:58.74
I'm being robbed of
that experience. Yeah.
00:18:58.77\00:19:02.40
And I'm being put in the
position where kids at school
00:19:03.37\00:19:07.12
are talking about me because
your parents got divorced,
00:19:07.15\00:19:09.58
didn't they? And they
hardly know how to say that
00:19:09.61\00:19:12.23
sometimes. Exactly, and
children need to be given
00:19:12.26\00:19:16.24
permission to have a
voice to talk about what
00:19:16.27\00:19:20.91
is going on even if it
means their talk telling you.
00:19:20.94\00:19:24.45
About you. I am angry at
you for how you let me down.
00:19:24.48\00:19:28.28
You know Cathy I've
had to go to my children
00:19:29.39\00:19:31.52
individually and I've
had to acknowledge to them
00:19:32.23\00:19:36.34
how I let them down,
how I hurt them through
00:19:37.02\00:19:41.17
this divorce. And I
have had to go to them and
00:19:41.20\00:19:43.80
I've had ask their
forgiveness for what I have
00:19:43.83\00:19:47.59
done to hurt them and
that has been tremendously
00:19:47.62\00:19:52.10
healing for the
kids. Has it? It has been.
00:19:52.13\00:19:56.32
Of course it would. And
the strain in the relationship
00:19:56.35\00:20:00.77
has been healed as
a result of that and
00:20:00.80\00:20:03.45
it's still frankly
an on going process
00:20:03.48\00:20:07.93
it's been now about
fourteen years that they
00:20:07.96\00:20:13.08
have lived in a
divorced situation. And
00:20:13.11\00:20:16.98
it's still, there is
still process even now today
00:20:18.16\00:20:22.69
of talking about some of
those old things that come
00:20:23.60\00:20:26.46
up because remember
children don't want to think
00:20:26.49\00:20:29.96
badly of either parent.
And what that does is puts
00:20:29.99\00:20:33.05
them in the position of
denying the reality of their
00:20:33.08\00:20:36.49
own situation. And so
many times it takes years
00:20:36.52\00:20:41.44
for them to get a handle
on or to put words on their
00:20:41.47\00:20:45.59
own process. What's
going on for me? I'm
00:20:45.62\00:20:49.13
just getting words for
it, sometimes just through
00:20:49.98\00:20:51.96
reading a book or,
and realizing something,
00:20:51.99\00:20:55.39
yeah a light will come
on through a conversation
00:20:55.42\00:20:57.65
with the friend. But
you know it shouldn't have
00:20:57.68\00:21:00.29
to take so long, yes. If
we dealt with more effectively
00:21:00.32\00:21:04.27
as a church, then it
would not have to take so long,
00:21:04.30\00:21:08.37
okay. And certainly
that affects the church by
00:21:08.40\00:21:12.45
you having to go through
it so long. It sure does.
00:21:12.48\00:21:14.90
In lots of
areas. It surely does.
00:21:14.93\00:21:16.92
Even in the marketplace.
Even in the marketplace.
00:21:16.95\00:21:20.47
And your work.
That's right, yes.
00:21:20.50\00:21:24.71
What else? Well again we
eluded to the fact before
00:21:24.92\00:21:28.84
that sometimes parents
use children for their own
00:21:28.87\00:21:32.83
purposes and they ask
the children to almost
00:21:32.86\00:21:37.56
be like little spies on the
other one and that's putting
00:21:37.59\00:21:42.26
the children in an
impossible situation.
00:21:42.29\00:21:45.05
You know to find out,
you know how much daddy
00:21:46.43\00:21:47.93
is making, to find out if
he is dating somebody else,
00:21:47.96\00:21:51.34
that is wrong. Yes,
it's harming their character
00:21:52.73\00:21:56.72
and their growth for maturity,
00:21:56.75\00:21:58.33
I mean the growth toward
maturity would be crippling
00:21:58.36\00:22:02.73
them wouldn't it. That's
right, and again children
00:22:02.76\00:22:06.58
need to be empowered to
be able to say to the parent
00:22:06.61\00:22:10.85
who is making that
request that's not you know
00:22:10.88\00:22:15.01
that's not, you know
that's not my position to do.
00:22:15.04\00:22:16.82
I am a child here, I
am not a spy, you know
00:22:17.89\00:22:20.32
and I want to go and love
mommy or love daddy without
00:22:20.35\00:22:23.85
any kind of
interference from you.
00:22:23.88\00:22:25.68
That when you take an
exceptional child to be
00:22:25.71\00:22:28.32
able to voice that.
To be able to voice that.
00:22:28.35\00:22:29.32
Yes, I can imagine,
an exceptional child,
00:22:29.33\00:22:31.84
I was just thinking that, okay.
00:22:33.26\00:22:34.23
But you see if we had
some type of divorce recovery
00:22:34.24\00:22:36.96
system built into our
churches then children would
00:22:36.99\00:22:41.72
have a forum to be able
to talk about those things
00:22:41.75\00:22:44.80
openly and could get
guidance from facilitators
00:22:44.83\00:22:49.18
or even from other young
people who've gone through
00:22:49.21\00:22:52.10
it for a longer
period of time. Yeah.
00:22:52.13\00:22:54.54
You know further
along in the process.
00:22:54.57\00:22:56.04
There would be a
forum for them to say,
00:22:57.24\00:22:58.70
well wait a minute
that's not appropriate
00:22:58.73\00:23:00.07
and I want to support
you invoicing your objection
00:23:00.10\00:23:03.98
to that kind of a request.
Yes, we've got some more
00:23:04.01\00:23:10.57
to come for don't we?
Well there is a lot more to say
00:23:10.60\00:23:13.70
about this. Children who
are in this kind of a situation
00:23:13.73\00:23:21.54
need to be affirmed.
They need to have someone come
00:23:21.57\00:23:27.22
in the church family
almost take them under their
00:23:28.53\00:23:31.66
wing and be a
surrogate parent to them and
00:23:31.69\00:23:39.06
especially in a
situation where the divorced,
00:23:39.09\00:23:42.74
one of the divorced
partners may move away
00:23:42.77\00:23:45.54
a long distance away
that adds a whole set
00:23:45.57\00:23:49.88
of unique challenges to children
00:23:49.91\00:23:52.69
living in divorce situations.
00:23:52.72\00:23:54.22
If you are close enough
where you can see people
00:23:55.44\00:23:57.32
like on weekends or
have, you know visitation
00:23:57.35\00:24:00.13
on a regular basis right there.
00:24:00.16\00:24:02.46
That makes it easier
when mom and dad are talking
00:24:03.36\00:24:05.46
and negotiating and
working things out that makes
00:24:05.49\00:24:08.58
it easier. Even at
best. Yes. You know there are
00:24:08.61\00:24:12.50
so many situations
where there are not as calm
00:24:12.53\00:24:15.13
as what you're
sounding like. There are some
00:24:15.16\00:24:17.96
tremendously violent
situations and they I can see
00:24:17.99\00:24:21.53
how the child would need a
great deal of support then.
00:24:21.56\00:24:25.75
That's right. But it will
need a great deal of support
00:24:26.28\00:24:29.16
anyway even in a mild
situation I would say.
00:24:29.19\00:24:31.65
That's true, but let's
talk for a little bit about some
00:24:32.07\00:24:34.86
of the more severe
situations those were maybe
00:24:34.89\00:24:37.46
there even has need
to be a restraining order
00:24:37.49\00:24:40.50
to keep you know the
parent away or whether
00:24:40.53\00:24:44.93
has been just subtle
control and subtle force,
00:24:44.96\00:24:49.81
that kind of coercion
which is always underground
00:24:49.84\00:24:52.82
but is such a powerful
factor in creating the divorce
00:24:52.85\00:24:56.73
and where one of the
partners wants to really
00:24:56.76\00:24:59.36
be controlling and
manipulative of the situation.
00:24:59.39\00:25:01.97
That adds such
tremendous complexity even from
00:25:03.08\00:25:06.58
the partner's point of
view as well as from the
00:25:06.61\00:25:09.52
children's point of
view. I've had situations Kathy
00:25:09.55\00:25:12.68
where the children
frankly don't want to have
00:25:12.71\00:25:17.46
anything to do with
one of the parties because
00:25:17.49\00:25:20.67
it's been so awful and are
totally bonded to the other.
00:25:20.70\00:25:26.78
And it makes that, it
makes it damaging to them
00:25:28.13\00:25:32.74
and you have the one
partner saying to them,
00:25:32.77\00:25:35.34
boy you know I have
these rights to see you but
00:25:35.37\00:25:38.18
the kids don't want to
see him because every time
00:25:38.21\00:25:40.11
he talks to them he
tries to manipulate and control
00:25:40.14\00:25:43.46
and work his way back
in and that's what they
00:25:43.49\00:25:46.53
experienced their
whole time with him,
00:25:46.56\00:25:48.89
and they don't
want it now. Yeah.
00:25:48.92\00:25:50.50
And it makes it
extremely difficult. Yeah.
00:25:50.53\00:25:53.58
And long distance
relationships where
00:25:53.61\00:25:55.59
you can only see them on
vacation times or holiday
00:25:55.62\00:25:58.90
times that makes it
difficult and another factor
00:25:58.93\00:26:03.82
that often happens is
that, is that if you have like
00:26:03.85\00:26:07.07
a custodial parent.
The custodial parent almost
00:26:07.10\00:26:10.67
has to be the heavy, and
do the day to day discipline
00:26:10.70\00:26:13.39
of the children and
then when they go to the
00:26:13.42\00:26:15.02
non-custodial parent. Yeah.
00:26:15.05\00:26:17.04
They can live it up and
have a great time and think
00:26:17.59\00:26:19.07
wow he is the greatest you know,
00:26:19.10\00:26:20.52
and so many times if
the mother is a custodial
00:26:22.21\00:26:24.64
parent she ends up
looking like the witch, yes,
00:26:24.67\00:26:28.13
you know that the
tough one and they grabs
00:26:28.16\00:26:29.74
the wonderful one.
And so I want to go live
00:26:29.77\00:26:32.58
with dad because we
have great times with dad.
00:26:32.61\00:26:34.33
Yeah. And the children
don't see really that mom
00:26:34.36\00:26:39.15
is loving them in a
way that they really need
00:26:39.18\00:26:41.53
to be loved. And
that's how we need to love
00:26:41.56\00:26:44.43
them too, I mean,
well we need to love them
00:26:44.46\00:26:47.15
in a way that they
can see Christ so much
00:26:47.18\00:26:49.63
in us the example
that they won't be ruined
00:26:49.66\00:26:52.68
for life because
this is happened to them,
00:26:52.71\00:26:54.59
or just think that they
might have to go through this
00:26:54.62\00:26:57.04
too, it could be different
for them. That's right.
00:26:57.07\00:27:00.42
Now I suppose we need
to wrap this up, don't we?
00:27:00.45\00:27:03.35
Yes we do. And this is
a difficult subject but
00:27:03.38\00:27:07.68
I really pray for our
viewers that they are going to
00:27:07.71\00:27:10.81
benefit from the information
that you have given them.
00:27:10.84\00:27:12.77
We want to have you
back again and it's not going
00:27:14.74\00:27:19.96
to be on the subject of divorce,
00:27:19.99\00:27:21.63
it's going to be on
the subject the right use
00:27:21.66\00:27:23.18
of the will. And I think
if we use what were coming
00:27:23.21\00:27:26.24
to we might avoid
some of these things
00:27:26.27\00:27:29.16
in the future
right? That's right, yeah.
00:27:29.19\00:27:31.40
So you'll be back
with us again. Yes.
00:27:31.43\00:27:34.69
The subject we are
gonna talk about is one
00:27:34.72\00:27:36.44
of the most favorite
subjects that I have in
00:27:36.47\00:27:40.23
all of my studies. I
want to invite you to be back
00:27:40.26\00:27:43.96
with us again, and
don't miss this next program
00:27:43.99\00:27:48.32
that we are gonna have on
the right use of the will.
00:27:48.35\00:27:50.38
I think you will be
interested in it and you can use
00:27:51.09\00:27:52.54
it in your home. Dr. Scdlacck,
00:27:52.57\00:27:54.51
would you pray
with us. I will. Father,
00:27:54.54\00:27:57.73
we thank you for
loving us. We thank you.
00:27:57.76\00:28:00.83