Participants: Kathy Matthews, Arlita Winston
Series Code: TAH
Program Code: TAH000124
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00:31 I'm glad you joined us again.
00:33 I'm Kathy Matthews, 00:34 and this is Thinking About Home. 00:35 We've been talking about women 00:37 in all aspects of life, 00:39 women as mothers, women as wives. 00:42 And now we're gonna talk about women in society 00:45 and we're going to discuss how we as women 00:49 can be fulfilled after our children have flown the nest. 00:52 And how we can be fulfilled 00:56 if we are childless or single. 00:58 Our guest is with us again today Arlita Winston, 01:00 and we are so glad that she is. 01:02 Thank you Arlita for being with us again. 01:04 Thank you for inviting me. 01:06 You know you have many examples 01:09 of how you did things in your home 01:12 and after your children were gone. 01:14 And I would like find out what those are, 01:16 what did you do? 01:20 Well, I think before I talk about myself, 01:23 a wonderful example to me was an older woman 01:27 that I saw, that I knew had, had a sever depression 01:32 after her children have flown the nest. 01:35 She was the wife of the physician. 01:37 She had everything that she needed. 01:39 But those children had flown 01:42 and she was grieving over that. 01:45 And she took very seriously that scripture in Titus 2:3, 01:50 "Teach the older women to be reverent 01:53 in the way they live... to teach what is good." 01:57 And she became a mother, a mother in Israel 02:01 to the women around her and her husband 02:05 became a father to those around. 02:07 And they got the most ingenious idea. 02:11 They decided to open up their home 02:13 every Sunday night for popcorn night. 02:16 They had big signed made that said "Popcorn Tonight" 02:20 and when that was hanging outside the front door. 02:23 All those students, all those young people 02:27 from the church, they all knew 02:28 it was popcorn at their friends home. 02:32 There open that home in over the years 02:35 hundreds and hundreds of young people 02:37 came in there. 02:38 Ate popcorn, sat on the floor, drank sodas, 02:42 learn to know one and another. 02:44 Marriages were established through that evening, 02:48 engagements, deep friendships 02:51 and Dorothy and child Shellenberger. 02:54 Our dear friends became true mothers and fathers 02:58 in Israel at a time when their own children had grown, 03:02 their grandchildren were coming along, 03:04 but they standup to me as a wonderful example 03:09 of what I have wanted to do and be. 03:13 Now as far as your question what I've done. 03:16 Yes. I drag my feet frankly. 03:19 You didn't. I did. 03:21 You are not a feet dragger, are you? 03:22 Well, I did because I felt I had made so many mistakes. 03:27 And one time my daughter Sarah came home from college 03:31 and she said mom would you study a book in the Bible 03:36 with me this summer and I just nearly burn the toast. 03:40 And I said sure Sarah, I would love to do that. 03:44 I would be thrilled if my daughter said that to me. 03:47 Well, I went to bed that night 03:51 and the Lord convicted me. 03:52 He reminded me of several women who had asked me 03:55 the same question and I had rejected them 03:59 and the Lord ask me that night, 04:01 why haven't you been quick to accept their invitation. 04:05 And I said Lord, I cannot teach other women. 04:09 I have made far too many mistakes, 04:11 there is no way I can do that. 04:14 And he said would you, if I ask you to. 04:19 I said oh Lord, yes. 04:23 Next morning I went down, I said to Sarah 04:26 would you mind if I just invite a couple of my friends 04:29 who have asked to join us around the kitchen table 04:32 and she said no mom and I thought oh no. 04:36 You rather have her said no. 04:37 That's right, and I went to the phone 04:40 and I called up this friend of mine 04:42 told her what we were doing. 04:44 Oh, I would love to join you when do we start. 04:47 I said about this next Thursday. 04:50 I'll be there. 04:51 Did you do with fear internally? 04:52 I did and so I prepared 04:55 of course for the Bible study. 04:57 And I also called the second person who had asked me, 05:01 so I told two people. 05:03 Next Thursday morning I go to the door and I open it 05:08 and there are 12 women standing on my doorstep. 05:12 And you are, oh 12, just... 05:13 Some of them I didn't even know. 05:15 Like disciples. 05:16 Those two friends of mine had gone out 05:19 on their own and brought others 05:23 and we had a study started that summer. 05:25 Now that study I thought would end in that summer, 05:29 but somebody announced oh no it goes on, 05:33 and on where upon I literally went upstairs 05:37 to get a grip of myself to make sure 05:40 I wouldn't loose it 05:42 While they were there. That's right. 05:43 You did that while they were there. 05:44 I just walked right upstairs, I say excuse me 05:46 a moment please and went upstairs and I said now Lord, 05:50 you and I need to have a talk. 05:52 And the Lord said will you do it for me. 05:55 You just repeated it. 05:56 And I said yes Lord, I walk back down stairs and I said. 06:01 Now the biggest problem we're gonna have is 06:04 this living room is too small, 06:06 because we had grown already 06:07 to more than double what started. 06:10 And so we were about 27 in that living room 06:14 and somebody immediately raised their hand 06:16 and said well my house will take us. 06:18 Oh, wow! We outgrew that house 06:21 and then we went to a church. 06:23 And to me its lovely story because 06:28 it shows me how God takes us 06:31 as frail as we are and is broken as we are. 06:36 And He is so true and faithful to His word 06:40 and when I taught the word of God, 06:43 it just brought life to all of us. 06:46 And it bring forth, so that class is still continuing on, 06:52 but not being taught by me. 06:54 It's been taught by those that I trained to take over. 06:57 Then I started to another class, 06:59 but it just goes on and on and on. 07:02 When somebody makes himself 07:05 available to God and says yes Lord. 07:09 We can be prepared for all kinds of joys of being able 07:13 to teach younger women, the experiences 07:16 that God has taken us through in order to give them hope. 07:20 The whole idea is to give women hope. 07:22 Amen. Hope in who God is, 07:25 and so when our children have flown the nest. 07:29 I believe it's terribly important 07:31 for the older women to be there to encourage 07:35 the younger women who are discouraged. 07:38 And that makes me think of those scriptures 07:40 in Titus 2. 07:42 Yes verses 4 and 5, 07:44 "Then they can train the younger women 07:46 to love their husbands and children, 07:48 to be self-controlled and pure to be busy at home, 07:53 to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, 07:56 so that no one will malign the word of God." 08:00 That's an amazing statement at the end, 08:02 so that no one will malign the word of God. 08:05 But that's the impact we have. 08:07 When we train these young women to do this. 08:12 We have a story that I'd like to tell you. 08:16 Good. Tom and I have some good friends 08:19 that are evangelists, he is an evangelist. 08:21 So we love revival of speaker 08:22 and he and his wife were in London and they flew back 08:29 from London to the East Coast 08:32 and this one of this man's students met them 08:37 and by this time the student was married 08:39 and they had little one or two year old 08:42 and must have been around two years old. 08:45 And Melissa and Steve had gone to this home 08:49 where the young couple was and they spent the night 08:52 and the couple was going 08:53 to take to the airport the next day. 08:55 And during this day there, 09:01 they had a little child ruling the home. 09:06 And Melissa and Steve noticed it quite a bit 09:09 and one of the things that he had spoken on much 09:12 was child training. 09:15 And so as they were going back to the airport, 09:18 their prayer and their thoughts was, 09:22 how can we help this young couple and so they did 09:26 and it was kind of little touching situation 09:29 and they try to help the young couple. 09:30 But Melissa's heart cry was 09:34 where are the mothers in Israel 09:37 to do this kind of helping. 09:39 And I was sitting there when she was telling me 09:41 the story in her home later. 09:43 And I said Melissa, we don't have the mother's in Israel. 09:48 She said I think I realize that 09:51 just soon as I heard the cry in my mind. 09:54 So those scriptures spoke to us 09:58 and they are teaching us that this is so necessary 10:00 in our world today, in our church today, 10:03 we need to have mothers of Israel. 10:05 And I think if it's not initiated 10:07 by us as older women. 10:10 The younger women need to reach out 10:13 and when they see somebody that is modeling a God 10:18 fearing women, somebody who is ruling her home well. 10:22 I think they need to go ahead and go to that women 10:26 because it maybe that the older women 10:28 hasn't even thought she was capable of doing that, 10:32 hadn't even thought that anybody 10:34 wanted to hear her advice. 10:36 After all most of us by now 10:39 have learned to keep our mouths shut. 10:42 Because you are afraid of what they might think 10:44 or say if you were to interfere 10:46 with the child training. 10:47 Well, and you really not wanting to interfere, 10:50 you wanting to do more interceding than interfering, 10:53 aren't you? Well that's the desire. 10:55 But you know the idea of a mentor 10:57 is lost for the most part? 10:59 That's right. And we need mentors. 11:01 And they are those that would like to be mentors. 11:04 I enjoy sharing what the Lord 11:06 has shown me to younger people. 11:08 We've taught growing kids God's way classes 11:12 and we have more friendship out of that kind of class, 11:16 we have more satisfaction of heart 11:18 out of that sort of thing 11:19 than most anything we've done. 11:21 Well, I'm beginning to think though 11:23 that some of the initiative needs to be taken 11:25 by the younger women to go to the older women, 11:28 because in our age right now 11:33 age is not revered or honored. 11:36 And I think there are lot of women there 11:38 who have gold in them thar hills. 11:42 Who feel that they aren't wanting to be heard? 11:47 Right. And I think our younger women 11:49 probably are maybe embarrassed to say anything 11:52 or shy and I would like to make an appeal. 11:56 Amen. To the younger women to say 11:58 I need to learn from you and this will give courage 12:03 to the older women who are maybe discouraged. 12:05 I would like to do that too. 12:07 We should directly appeal that to our viewers. 12:12 If there is anyone out there who is a mother in Israel 12:16 who has solid experience in God 12:19 that know some younger people, 12:21 get something started with them or pray about it 12:24 like our leaders talking about 12:26 go to the Lord and ask Him, what you would have me to do. 12:30 And like he told you in the bedroom 12:32 that morning Arlita, will you do this for me 12:36 don't be afraid, you can do it. 12:38 Well, and you younger women need to realize 12:42 that those of us who are just little bit 12:44 ahead of you have made a lot of mistakes. 12:46 And so maybe we are not too quick to just come out 12:50 and say we would like to help you. 12:53 On the other hand there maybe a lot of us 12:55 who are too quick to do that. 12:58 And so God needs to put that wonderful humility 13:03 and mixed in with hope, so that we can work together 13:08 as mothers and daughters in the Lord 13:11 encouraging one and another 13:13 to fulfill God purposes for our lives. 13:17 And the Lord is coming. 13:18 We need to be able to do this. 13:20 A work that needs to be done in our hearts. 13:22 That's right. And to bring the mothers and daughters 13:25 and the families together, the fathers, 13:27 this is something that we can't do without, 13:29 we need it, yeah. 13:31 That makes me think of emptiness. 13:33 When I'm thinking of some of the older women 13:37 in the sense of emptiness. 13:39 I think there is also that sense of emptiness 13:41 with younger women, of all women of all ages. 13:45 And emptiness and I would like to talk about 13:49 this emptiness not avoid without meaning 13:53 not that kind of emptiness. 13:56 I wanted to talk about a form of emptiness 14:02 that has shape for a purpose. 14:05 And when I'm talking about that 14:07 I'm thinking of like reed pipe 14:10 that is totally empty, but its there to receive 14:15 a piper's breath to utter a song. 14:18 Oh beautiful. 14:19 Or the emptiness of a chalice, a cup, 14:25 that's beautifully made, 14:27 but its empty ready to hold something for purpose. 14:32 The Lord pouring Himself out of you. 14:35 Or the emptiness of a birds nest 14:40 it's formed waiting for the fledgling bird, 14:43 that kind of emptiness that had shape 14:46 and form for a purpose and we hear a lot 14:50 about emptiness these days. 14:52 And I think that we need to get perspective on this. 15:00 Are we having emptiness with purpose? 15:03 Are we reed pipes just waiting to be sung, 15:06 right, through? 15:08 Are we chalices waiting for God's love 15:12 to be poured out of us? 15:14 Are we nests waiting? 15:18 Does He desire a warm sweet abiding in us. 15:23 I'm sure He does. 15:24 And if we think about these three things, the reed, 15:28 and the chalice and the nest and how they are made. 15:33 It will help you identify more easily I think. 15:37 The reed is a very simple thing, 15:39 it just grows down by the river. 15:42 But in order for it to be used, it has to be cut 15:46 with the sharp knife and then pierced with holes 15:51 for that breath to come through 15:53 and give the different tones. 15:57 The cup made out of gold or silver. 16:00 Gold is found in the water or in the mud 16:02 and having to be dug out 16:04 of something out of the sides of the mountain. 16:08 Sliver has to be dug out and then put through fire, 16:12 to be purified, so many times to be purified. 16:15 The nest is made up of all different kinds of flouts 16:19 and get some thick bit, that daring little mother 16:24 has flown who knows how many miles 16:27 to bring back each little piece to tuck in 16:30 and to form that with her breast. 16:33 And so each one of these. 16:37 We're formed by a knife 16:39 we could be form by knife and pared down. 16:42 We could have been hammered with lots of little blows 16:46 like goldsmith or silversmith would have to be done, 16:50 or we could be shaped for our destiny 16:53 by the love and a tender home. 16:58 Any three of these things, but we are shaped 17:02 according to a plan that God has for us. 17:05 So that no matter what to you are right now, 17:08 no matter what shape you are, 17:10 whether you are beautiful or ugly, 17:14 whether you are intelligent or not too smart, 17:19 whether you are mild or passionate, 17:24 whether you are clever, whether you are stupid, 17:28 it doesn't matter. 17:29 But it's all planned to give shape and form 17:34 to a purpose that God has for you. 17:37 I love this idea. 17:39 And so this emptiness can have purpose, 17:42 yes maybe you were beaten like that gold hammer. 17:47 Maybe you are pierced. 17:48 And maybe you are pierced. 17:51 Or maybe you grew up in just a tender loving home 17:55 and haven't experience that, but can understand. 17:59 Yet there is purpose and God has that purpose 18:03 designed for you and you need to find out, 18:06 I need to find out what that purpose is? 18:09 It also reminds me one of my most favorite, 18:13 favorite metaphors that Jesus uses for us 18:18 in His relationship with us which is found 18:21 in John 15 verse 16, 18:27 "You did not choose me, but I chose you 18:33 and appointed you to go 18:34 and bear fruit-fruit that will last." 18:39 And here He is talking about a wine. 18:41 Now what is a vine, a grapevine? 18:45 It's empty, its one sole purpose is to take the sap 18:52 through to the branches to give life 18:56 to that branch to bear fruit. 18:58 So here you have this empty branch 19:00 coming out to receive the sap. 19:03 Well, it's not really used for anything, 19:06 we don't use grapevine for furniture, 19:08 or to built houses. 19:10 I think the only thing we use grapevine for 19:12 are to make wreaths 19:14 that we hang artificial fruits on, artificial flowers 19:20 and Jesus says wait a minute. 19:22 But it does such a work. 19:23 I want you to be alive. 19:26 I want you to be connected into me. 19:30 And what's more you didn't choose me, 19:33 but I choose you and I want you to be empty branches, 19:39 so that I can pour my life through you for what? 19:44 To bear fruit. 19:46 Now Joe and I where in France 19:48 visiting his brother. 19:50 He has two brothers there who are missionaries, 19:52 one in France and one in Belgium 19:54 and we were visiting there and we saw the grapevines 19:59 over the hill side. 20:00 Oh! They are beautiful on hill sides, aren't they? 20:03 And I was struck by how they were just stretched out 20:07 crosswise one after the other mile after mile after mile 20:13 these white crosses with the grape wines 20:17 and I thought, oh my Lord, 20:19 that's a picture of that first vine that first hung 20:25 with his arms stretched out crosswise. 20:28 I've never thought of that. 20:29 And many times I've seen those, 20:31 I was over there too and I've seen 20:33 those stretched out like that. 20:35 Of course we live in Washington State 20:36 and you see a lot of up there too. 20:38 But I haven't thought about that 20:39 being stretched out like the cross. 20:41 I thought of that wine and I thought 20:46 how does the natural growing of that wine represent us 20:50 and the more I thought of it, 20:52 I thought here is first of all it's a wine, 20:54 usually a vine trails everywhere. 20:57 But no, a grapevine dresser 21:00 doesn't let it just trail on the ground. 21:03 The first thing he does 21:04 is lifts it up and puts it on a stake. 21:08 What did Jesus say, 21:09 if you will follow me, I'll lift you up, yes. 21:12 It says if you will follow me pick up your cross, 21:17 follow me if you want to be my disciple. 21:20 So he tenderly picks us up binds us very tenderly, 21:26 so that those shoots are not damage 21:28 until it grows out and you know 21:32 the grapevine doesn't have any flower, 21:35 much of a flower. 21:37 In fact the little tiny flower blooms 21:39 and is gone before you've seen it 21:41 and its starts bearing food. 21:43 So it doesn't lift up a beautiful flower 21:45 to be enjoyed its first thing is to move in 21:49 after that tiny flower to make the grape cluster. 21:55 Now after that happens and we were there 21:59 at several different time, so that we saw 22:02 the different seasons of the grapevine. 22:05 And soon we saw these tender shoots growing out, 22:08 you think, oh surely that mother vine 22:12 because of course that's what we are mother's 22:15 bearing fruit. 22:16 Surely that vine can take glory in the shoots 22:20 that it's thrusting out these beautiful tendrils 22:23 and those leaves waving in the sky. 22:27 And surely the mother can glory in that, but no. 22:33 There is somebody who has vested interest in that vine 22:37 that's just been planted 22:38 and he has pruning shears and his hands. 22:41 Oh, no. And he comes and he takes a long look 22:46 and he says which ones of these vines have branches 22:50 that are going to be strong to give good fruit. 22:53 And he take shares and he cuts 22:55 the way the ones that aren't needed, so that more fruit 23:00 can be produced on fewer branches. 23:06 So then the fruit begins to ripe in, 23:10 in that hot sun and it gets bigger and bigger 23:13 and surely the mother vine can glory 23:16 and that fruit its coming and she is waving 23:19 her green beautiful leaves now and those grapes 23:23 are just coming just so beautifully. 23:28 But the fruit is getting heaver, 23:31 so what does the vinedresser do. 23:33 He just comes and he ties that vine up 23:37 straighter and straighter and harder and harder 23:41 in order to bear up the weight of that fruit. 23:46 And so as hat vine feels 23:48 the strength of those strings holding it, 23:54 it knows its holding it up 23:56 because its bearing precious fruit. 23:58 Well, then what happens 24:01 the heat pours on to that fruit it comes 24:05 to its glorious color, 24:07 but the leaves begin to fade and droop. 24:10 But nevertheless the vine is thrilled 24:14 because the fruits coming and the mother is thrilled 24:17 because she is beginning to droop, 24:20 but the fruits coming and her fruit is growing 24:23 to maturity and surely she can glory now. 24:28 Her fruit, her children are coming to maturity. 24:33 Just as the time when they are at their peak, 24:39 the husband then comes and strips the vine there. 24:45 And now its drooping leaves 24:48 and its stripped of its fruit. 24:51 Then the fruit is taken away and feet already to trod 24:59 and to press the juice out of that fruit 25:02 in order to give joy to the land, 25:05 to the rest of the land and then the husband 25:08 when comes along and it prunes again. 25:12 He prunes very, very sharply. 25:16 The fruit in the harvest has come. 25:20 Now comes the really dark days 25:23 where the vine stands all alone, 25:26 all through the winter and the harvest, 25:28 it's not bitter for the torment, 25:32 it's not barren, because of the fruit it gave up, 25:35 but it's fulfilled and next spring. 25:39 That's ready to bear again. 25:40 It blooms again. Yes. 25:42 And so we'll go 25:43 Bassi back in 1800s said in a sermon. 25:48 The vine from every living limb bleeds wine. 25:51 Is it poor for that spirit shed? 25:55 Measure thy life by loss instead of gain, 26:00 not by the wine drunk, but the wine poured forth; 26:05 for life's strength standeth in love's sacrifice, 26:08 and whoso suffers most hath most to give 26:13 and this is a picture of a mother. 26:14 And of Christ. 26:15 And of Christ and he living in us pouring His life out 26:20 through us and Jim Elliot 26:25 and Martyred Missionary went to Ecuador said, 26:29 "He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep 26:33 to gain that which he cannot lose." 26:36 Amen, that's beautiful. 26:39 I know going through all of that 26:42 you can see how mothers in society can be very useful. 26:48 They can bear fruit again in God's work. 26:52 That's right. 26:53 And the grapevine lives a very long time. 26:57 Yes. And the lovely thing is 26:59 in John 15 it says, 27:02 your fruit will remain I've chosen you to bear fruit, 27:06 fruit that will remain, that's for eternity. 27:09 Amen, and that's what we want, that's what I want, 27:12 I know that's what you want. 27:13 I want nothing more than to do 27:15 what I was created to be and to do. 27:18 Arlita I want to pray again for our viewers. 27:21 All right. And I want to tell them good bye 27:23 before we start praying and you are going to be back 27:26 for another session on women in society, is that right. 27:28 That's right. Good and I want you to be with us as well. 27:32 Don't forget to join us we will be praying for you, 27:34 we're gonna pray now. 27:36 Would you our prayer. 27:38 Father I thank you that you have chosen us 27:41 that it's not even a question of whether or not 27:44 you love us but you just do. 27:46 We have to understand that you really do love us 27:49 and you've chosen us and you want us 27:52 to bear fruit and that it will be inevitable 27:55 if we abide in you. 27:57 If we let you come and make your home. |
Revised 2014-12-17