Participants: Kathy Matthews, Arlita Winston
Series Code: TAH
Program Code: TAH000121
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00:31 Hello, I'm Kathy Matthews
00:32 and this is Thinking about Home. 00:34 How is your home today and I'm glad 00:36 you are joining us in your home. 00:38 We have been discussing surrender. 00:41 Surrender of the women. Women as wives especially 00:46 as wives and we have had a special guest with us 00:50 that's been, that she had rich, rich experience 00:53 and very much has experienced that surrender 00:58 in her lives, in her life. And the lives of her family, 01:01 its caused all the stories that we are going 01:06 to get hear over this program today 01:08 and other stories that we are gonna hear 01:11 in other programs. I want to give you a little bit 01:13 more background about our guest and she was raised 01:18 in missionary family in her early years 01:22 it was in the jungles of Sumatra and they did some 01:27 travel on ships during world war two and 01:31 they were dragging submarines and they had 01:33 some time in Japan. There was a time when they had 01:36 house arrest for a year and they have just gone 01:39 through many things in her family when 01:42 she was growing up. And it sealed her love 01:46 for the Lord as she went through this in 01:48 surrendering her own rights and wishes of her 01:51 selfish nature. The guest is Arlita Winston, 01:58 I just so glad that you're here. 02:00 Hello and I am glad to be here. 02:02 And we are getting comfortable with 02:03 this subject aren't we today. 02:06 We are going to move right on into women 02:11 as wives and surrender. 02:13 A bit deeper now was a scriptures and I just wanted 02:17 to let our viewers know that in your marriage 02:22 your husband you have a very wonderful marriage 02:24 and that Joe loves you very much that way 02:27 what does one do if one isn't loved 02:32 by their husband. When thinking about that 02:36 I think of Leah and that beautiful love story 02:41 of Jacob when he is of course running away 02:44 from his brother Esau and he runs up to his uncle 02:47 Laban's home and discovers his daughter Rachel 02:52 and its love at first sight. And of course working 02:56 for Laban seven years to win Rachel is better day 03:00 as far as Jacob is concerned but that 03:04 faithful wedding week Laban turns everything 03:10 over and he is determined that he oldest daughter 03:17 is going to be married first as the custom 03:20 of the day demanded and so without telling 03:24 Jacob he has Leah going in and deceiving Jacob 03:30 and becoming his wife that first night. 03:33 And I can only imagine the torment 03:37 and yet the mixture of hope that may be 03:40 just may be he is going to love her too. 03:44 She has seen her youngest sister fallen in love 03:46 and on picturing Leah who the one thing that 03:49 he said about her that she is tender eyed. 03:52 What, what you think that meant. 03:55 That some have said that it meant that 03:57 her eyes were weak. I think I prefer to think 04:00 of her has been very tender and tendered hearted. 04:03 Well, denied her look toward Jacob was tender eyed 04:07 a different kind of look, it could have been. 04:09 I was wondering about that it I don't mean 04:12 though it just because of tender eyed. 04:15 And I can imagine the older sister being 04:20 in the background she is watching her younger 04:22 sister fall so head over heels in love 04:26 with this man and her own despondency 04:32 and then the sudden turn were she is to 04:35 go into the wedding tent and Jacob doesn't 04:38 even know it and there she is that was probably 04:42 one night that, that stands out above all that 04:47 she hoped may be her own response of love 04:49 might win Jacobs and of course 04:53 when Don came it brought nothing but anger 04:57 and hatred and then Leah says now he scold 05:05 him right out of that and he said 05:07 oh that's the way we do it here thee says, 05:10 this is you would there married the younger 05:14 daughter first. Why don't you just work 05:16 another seven years for me and perform your 05:19 duties as a husband to her this week 05:21 and then you can have Rachel after that. 05:23 And so of course that is we know that 05:25 is what happen. But the Jacob ever return 05:29 to Leah in love no, no, he did he returned 05:34 to her yes. But only for sons that's why 05:38 he came to her night after night 05:40 because Rachel was not able to have children 05:43 for some reason God had closed her womb 05:46 and God had opened Leah's and so Leah 05:51 and the arms of Jacob conceives 05:53 and the first born comes and I am sure 05:56 her heart just roars within her with hope. 05:59 Now, now, wife husband is going to love me 06:04 because I am going to give him a son. 06:07 This son is going to carry on the family name 06:10 and so when the baby has born she names 06:13 him Reuven and this she named Reuven 06:20 meaning see a son it is because the Lord has seen 06:25 my misery, surely my husband would love me 06:29 now he was gonna be the builder of the family. 06:33 But as the story goes on we know that 06:37 isn't the case. She was hated at the more 06:42 but God heard yet she kept hoping, 06:47 she kept hoping that Jacob would love her. 06:51 She got pregnant again she has a second son. 06:55 And this second son she named Simeon. 06:59 And Simeon means hearing and it was because 07:03 the Lord heard that I am not loved. 07:07 He gave me Simeon. So, she actually means 07:11 the child hearing oh God your hearing me 07:16 but all the while her heart is just in utter 07:20 anguish and torment because now I am sure 07:24 not only she was hated but I don't think Rachel 07:27 showed too much love towards 07:29 of the children either. If probably this if 07:33 you could imagine that but now and then 07:37 she continues though so, she doesn't give up 07:40 hope continuous to long for Jacobs love. 07:44 She convinces again and the third one 07:47 she names Levi which means joint. 07:55 Now, last my husband would become attached 07:58 to me because I born him three sons 08:00 so he was named Levi meaning joint. 08:05 Her longing could never be satisfied 08:08 she had to relinquish all of this and then 08:11 she had to accept God's love for her. 08:14 She conceived again her hope continued to grow 08:18 for her love for Jacob but by this time 08:22 joy absolutely erupts because she has made 08:26 the change and she realizes that the only one 08:29 that can really satisfy her is Judah light 08:33 and she conceives again and she has exuberant 08:38 prayers as this time she gives birth this child 08:42 and names him Judah. This time I will praise 08:47 the Lord, amen. So she named Judah meaning 08:51 praise! Now, that praise comes from the 08:54 primitive root "Yaw-daw" which means to celebrate, 08:58 to celebrate with open arms giving thanks. 09:01 And so here you see she is relinquished her right. 09:05 So, it has speak of having the love of her husband 09:08 and she is, has viewed into the love of her Lord 09:12 saying your enough God your enough. 09:15 You see that transition taking place now through 09:18 the birth the names of her children 09:19 I had never thought of that before, 09:21 and not only that but its through Judah 09:23 that our Lord comes, Amen. Messiah Christ 09:26 comes from that son named praise. Amen. 09:29 You know this drove her to God, 09:32 if she had, but there are stories in the Bible 09:36 where the sorrow did not drive them to God 09:40 like the story of Michal was David. 09:42 Oh! that's, that is so true because Michal 09:46 it said she loved David and I believe David 09:49 loved her. And she even risked her own life 09:53 and in order to save him at one point, 09:55 right when Saul was out after him. 09:57 Right, but when there comes a point when 10:01 he returns with the ark of the Lord 10:03 and he is just dancing jubilantly in his treat, 10:06 watch worshiping God and thanking him for 10:11 overcoming the enemies and bringing the 10:13 ark of the Lord back into there presence, 10:15 right. Michal is standing up away from 10:17 everybody else looking out the window criticizing 10:21 with her husband and despising the way 10:26 he has exuberantly rejoicing in the Lord. 10:29 And it says she despised him in her heart. 10:32 She had no regard for his adoration for the Lord 10:37 and it says as a result the Lord closed her womb 10:42 and she was never able to have children 10:44 as a result of that. It's interesting how, 10:48 how that happened to her. 10:51 It teaches her. It's sobering. 10:52 It's sobering isn't it? It teaches a lesson and, 10:55 what we are doing with her husband. 10:57 And I think what it does is it reminds me 11:01 of the verse in Ephesians 5:33, 11:05 the verse says each one of you also must love 11:08 his wife as he loves himself and the wife 11:11 must respect her husband. You see this is what 11:15 Michal did not do. She did not respect to David. 11:19 She despised him in her heart. 11:21 And this is very sobering. Now, of course the 11:23 the husband used to love the wife 11:26 as he loves himself. But notice it says 11:29 the wife must respect, yes, I think we are sadly 11:35 lacking today in our society. 11:38 This, the orient seems to show it more, 11:40 or at least they use to do. Well, it so much 11:43 has to do with the fact that we have not 11:45 married perfect men. Oh! Arlita! 11:49 But unfortunately they have not married 11:52 perfects wives and of course God really kind 11:59 at that way she didn't expect man to fully 12:03 be able to satisfy a wife or vise versa. 12:08 He expected to occupy that place himself, 12:11 place in the heart. And made that place 12:13 in heart and so we are designed that way 12:15 none of us can fully, yes, fully satisfy the 12:19 other person because God makes us. 12:22 That's right and so we respect the authority 12:25 in the husband God has given and he has 12:28 placed over us we respect him honor that why, 12:31 because he has been told that he needs 12:34 to love us to the point of death giving his own 12:38 life for us. And that should cause us a tremendous 12:44 joy in submitting to that husband because 12:49 of the incredible task he has been asked 12:52 to deal. Now, a lot of repenting 12:54 and I need to go on, yes, right, daily. 12:57 What will you do if you have a different view 13:01 then your husband, both of you are believers. 13:03 Now, that you have a different view how do you 13:06 handle that type of situation and so miss him? 13:10 I think they were time in my life when we were 13:13 both walking with our Lord this is after 13:16 we had come back to the Lord 13:18 and we both had a difference of opinion 13:21 on a very major issue. My husband had been 13:25 given a wonderful opportunity that would 13:28 probably have influenced worldwide and probably 13:33 set a lot of captives free. But there was 13:37 something deep inside in my heart where 13:39 I did not feel it peace about it 13:41 and we had some time ago come to a conclusion 13:45 that we would never do anything unless 13:47 we were both at peace about it. 13:49 Simply because we have gone to this four years 13:51 but we were in alienation with God. 13:54 And we determined that now it wasn't 13:57 Joe's way or my way but it, we have to seek 14:01 God's way. And so have determined that 14:04 when we came to a point like that we would 14:07 table our own agenda put it into neutral 14:10 and promise one and another. 14:12 One not to manipulate that will be my part 14:16 not to manipulate him and that he would 14:20 not strong on strong on me and force me 14:22 with his reasoning powers and force me 14:25 to do something. Well here we were. 14:28 I think that's a very good principle to hold out 14:31 in the family a message and keeping 14:33 family calmness, keeping the family running 14:39 smoothly and it works in small decisions 14:42 as well as big. It works when you go to buy 14:45 a dress or when you sell your hearts. 14:48 Well, in this particular situation you have to 14:51 deal with a change of occupation 14:53 and what Joe will be doing and I had no 14:57 peace about it. And I could see if Joe was 15:01 feeling that may be we should move ahead 15:03 and do it and we were around vacation at the time 15:06 and I went up on the high road above of the lake 15:10 and above the cottage left the family 15:12 to the evening couple of days and I just walked 15:15 that road. I just pace that road up and down, 15:18 up and down for several hours. 15:19 The only verse that would come to me 15:21 where as he leads me in the paths of 15:25 righteousness for His name's sake. 15:28 Not for mine but for his name sake that 15:32 he would lead me in the right way. 15:34 Well, if he was gonna lead me he would have 15:37 also have to lead Joe because we're one flesh. 15:40 Because the scripture fit both of you, 15:41 and that was just, need to listen to Bible for you. 15:44 And I knew that not only I was praying 15:46 but the Holy Spirit was praying for me with words 15:50 that I could not even utter and that Jesus 15:53 himself has receding for me. 15:55 So, so that the family wouldn't worry 15:57 I went on back down to the cottage 16:00 that night but still not at peace. 16:04 The next month I continued loving Joe 16:09 but not saying one word about the issue continued 16:14 to love him do everything I could to be a good 16:18 wife but praying non stop. 16:22 Walking through my days on my knees 16:25 saying God I don't know what's right 16:28 but please change his heart or change mine. 16:33 I can understand that, a month from then God 16:35 sent a man of God down for a visit just 16:39 for a few hours who spokes some words 16:42 that opened up Joe's eyes. 16:45 The decision was made and Joe thought very 16:47 clearly we were not to do it. 16:49 It was not a question of my persuading him, 16:52 not, it was a question of me on my knees 16:55 before God pleading with God for his righteousness 16:59 to be workout in our family and it was 17:02 a test for me. I could have think, it was different 17:04 kind of test for Joe. It was, it's beautiful 17:09 and I can see how those kinds of things are 17:11 probably happen in every family that, 17:14 aren't likely handled in the same manner, 17:16 some yes but for the most part society 17:20 or the church even though, church women 17:22 are not seeking the Lord enough in this way. 17:25 Beautiful example, well, I think we had to 17:28 fall start on our faces and get, become so distress 17:36 that we had to cry out to God for a way 17:39 to go and God gave us this way but it takes 17:42 commitment on those parts. Its takes a commitment 17:45 to say I really walk God's way and not mine, 17:49 right. You know, we all of this has to deal 17:52 with relinquishment, acceptance and then 17:58 ultimately praise knowing God because 18:00 that whole month as I went into that month 18:03 not knowing what Joe's what he did. 18:05 I praise God for who he was and his character 18:10 and his ways and if they wanted to be wonderful 18:13 and I will submit to them. 18:16 Well, that time it was in your favor 18:19 this was a time where the Lord show to you will 18:22 right but you just, it doesn't always happen. 18:27 You didn't yet like your husband in doing it 18:29 and he accepted it, well, but it doesn't 18:32 always happen. No, it doesn't in fact there was 18:35 another major experience where I was completely 18:38 in the wrong. And it was few years ago 18:44 I had been just diagnosed with cancer 18:47 and not knowing that a few weeks before that 18:52 we had sold our home and we were moving 18:54 to a home by the lake where the children 18:56 and grand children who come and enjoy the fishing 18:59 in canoeing and that would be a place of, 19:02 of real joy, I can understand 19:04 but they couldn't come to and two weeks after 19:08 that way I am, I was informant mastectomy 19:11 and had to be out of the house within two weeks. 19:14 And into our new house where my dear 19:17 daughter-in-law and son and children moved 19:21 in Joe and me reach children 19:24 and my daughter-in-law who is from Scotland 19:27 said Mummy your not to worry, worry. 19:32 I can't say like she does. She says 19:34 we are gonna take care of all move, well 19:37 and so they did. We have moved into that 19:40 lovely lake house and we have named Sweet Briar 19:43 after the old wild Sweet Briar Rose from England. 19:46 Wow! Now, that rose is known for its tremendous 19:50 thorns but haven't they frequence. 19:54 And I had read poem by Amy Carmichael 19:58 about the Sweet Briar Rose and one of the lines 20:01 went like this. And out of the briar shall blow 20:05 a rose for someone else. And I thought who out 20:09 of this briar this cancer is gonna to blow arose 20:12 for someone else. Oh! That's beautiful thinking. 20:14 So, we moved to this house and I said 20:16 that's the name we are going to name this house 20:18 sweet briar. So, we moved in I went through 20:22 my chemotherapy God himself stood with us 20:26 through those days, they were beautiful days 20:30 until almost five years later one Sunday afternoon. 20:34 Joe said to me. We came out from church 20:39 that day and he said Arlita 20:40 I want to talk to you while he never usually says 20:42 I want to talk to you he just talks to me. 20:45 So, I looked at his face and I want to talk, 20:48 such your on edge a little bit. 20:50 There was something on his mind 20:51 of the importance and I thought oh no. 20:54 I just had test recently did he know something 20:58 I didn't know at the cancer return. 21:00 But I knew he was serious and he handed me 21:03 a part of paper and he said I want you to drop down 21:10 just everything that you think God wants 21:12 you to do. I said well, that's easy then 21:16 I sat down and I just wrote away. 21:18 And I just one thing after another I knew God 21:21 wanted me to do I handed it back to him 21:24 and he looked at it and said, now put this in to 21:31 priorities he said. That's also easy. 21:36 I was rather triumphant to this 21:38 and I answered and I said the cancer 21:41 hasn't returned as such and he said no. 21:44 So, I was puzzled is to why I was making 21:46 at this list, so I put my priorities and 21:50 handed it back to him nice out there. 21:52 He looked down that list and then he says. 21:55 Now, how realistic do you think this is 21:59 and then I became defensive and I said well 22:03 I am gaining strengths everyday and I just need 22:07 to do the next thing. I don't really know 22:11 how far I am gonna get down this list but 22:13 I just need to do the next thing. 22:15 And he says yes but you feel this are all things 22:17 that God wants you to do and I said yes. 22:20 I really do, he says then I don't think 22:23 you can able to do it. Then I said why not 22:26 and he said I don't think you can be able to do it 22:29 and still stay in this home. 22:31 It takes too much of your energy 22:34 and time my heart went block I continents 22:40 went block, he loved your heart, 22:42 it had been such a gift to me with the children 22:47 there with a lake not too far from Joe's work 22:53 and he looked at me and he said no 22:54 I am not going to make this move unless 22:57 you can do it with perfect joy. And I said 22:59 well good because then we just won't move. 23:03 His mind was made up, that's it and then 23:05 he just grinned at me because he knew of 23:08 that earlier commitment that we had made years ago. 23:12 But when ever he disagreed we would table 23:15 our own agendas I would not manipulate 23:18 he would not strong on me with reason. 23:21 And he just grinned at me just knowing 23:24 I know you are going to go to the Lord 23:27 and ask him about it. The awful thing is, 23:29 is that I knew I had to do that and I had 23:32 a horrible feeling that he was right 23:35 and I did not want to give him into it. 23:39 There was no way and so I didn't, 23:43 for the next two days those days were 23:46 just utterly block and I just simply didn't talked 23:49 to the Lord and I tell him not to attach Joe. 23:53 On the full day, no, no, that's not right. 23:57 The third day I went to the door to say 24:00 good-bye to him, very perfunctorily, 24:03 kissed him good-bye, and I said well 24:06 I just might as well not go in divide perennials 24:09 with my friend. Today, if we get have to move, 24:13 and I didn't release that I said that 24:15 it came right out of my mouth like that. 24:18 I think I was feeling sorry for myself 24:20 and he said very cheerfully not think probably 24:24 that would be a good idea and oh I could so 24:27 involved with him. I could stand enough 24:29 by the toes because he was assuming I had 24:32 come to decision. He was assuming I had, 24:35 had peaceful God that now we were going to move. 24:37 Did he still have a smile on his face? 24:39 He did, and he just walked up to the car 24:42 went to work and I had closed that door 24:45 and fled to my bedroom and to my knees, 24:48 and he probably knew you would be doing that. 24:49 He did, and I went to knees. I don't think 24:53 he knew how long would take but I went 24:58 my knees and God met me there and he said 25:01 Alrita did I give you this home as gift. 25:07 I said yes, and I had cancer and I named it 25:12 sweet briar what it is still named sweet briar. 25:17 You still wanted to blow rose for others, 25:23 I said yeah. You mean you want me to give this 25:29 as a gift back to you to blow a rose for 25:31 someone else. Oh! When you put it that way oh yes, 25:38 I am telling you Kathy, the wonder just 25:44 flooded it over me, the thought of might be able 25:47 to give a gift to my Lord. I got into to dreams 25:52 I got those perennials I knew I have to make 25:56 this gift the most beautiful gift that 26:00 I could give to my Lord. And Joe came home 26:02 that night I said you have ten minutes 26:06 to have your tea and we are out to live at Condos. 26:10 He says what happen to you, he so wow, 26:15 he knew that you have gone to the Lord. 26:17 At my whole continents had changed and so, 26:20 I sat there while he had his tea and I told him 26:22 how God has met me and it wasn't long before 26:26 God sent a seller he sent a buyer for our house 26:32 and gave us a condo immediately. 26:35 So, that we made the change and I did do 26:38 with a joy. What a story? 26:41 And you have experienced that joy I like that 26:46 that look on your face when you tell this 26:48 stories because I can see that this experience 26:51 has really brought a trust and a joy in this 26:57 surrender to you. Yes, particularly when you 27:01 realize that we are not married to perfect 27:04 husbands that we submit to you and they are not 27:07 married to perfect wives that they have done for, 27:10 that its the character of God we are trusting 27:13 in to lead the two of us together. 27:15 Right and I think too that all of this is 27:19 preparing us for more trials where other trials 27:22 a polishing of character that the Lord 27:24 wants us to have, so that we can live with him. 27:27 And I think we can welcome him. Amen. 27:30 I wish you that, why don't we pray for our viewers 27:33 and just help them to accept it too. 27:37 We want you to join us on Thinking about Home. 27:40 Right now, we gonna pray for you. Pray with us 27:45 Father in heaven as we commit our ways 27:48 to you please take our hearts. 27:50 Please help us to surrender 27:52 and father when we accept this and we find 27:58 that you know best for us that we will find. |
Revised 2014-12-17