Participants: Arlita Winston, Kathy Matthews
Series Code: TAH
Program Code: TAH000120
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00:31 Welcome to Thinking about Home.
00:33 I'm Kathy Matthews and I'm glad 00:35 that you are joining us today. 00:36 We have a wonderful guest with us and 00:38 I think you will enjoy the programs that we 00:40 have planned for you. I want to 00:43 read to you though about what 00:46 our guest has been through in her life its 00:48 been such a rich and full experience 00:51 and the subject we're going to be talking 00:54 about is women and surrender or anyone 00:57 facing surrender, 00:58 understanding relinquishment, 01:01 exercising that relinquishment 01:04 and putting it into the worship of God, 01:06 putting it into praise after that thanking God 01:09 for him working in your heart to surrender to 01:13 him those things in your life, all things 01:16 in your life. And let me give you 01:18 the background of our guest before I introduce 01:21 her, she spent her earliest years in the jungles 01:25 of Sumatra part of the Dutch East Indies 01:28 with her missionary parents who were 01:30 reaching the Cobu tribes, formally 01:33 headhunting, nomad, and cannibalistic, 01:36 until World War II forced them out. 01:39 They escaped through the jungles and after 01:42 three months of Darjeeling submarines arrived 01:45 safely back in America. From there 01:48 they sailed China where they lived until 01:51 after Shanghai fell to the communists. 01:53 After a year under house arrest whole year 01:57 under house arrest they were released 02:00 and her parents moved to Japan to minister. 02:02 She came back to America for her formal education 02:05 and married a medical doctor who also is a son 02:07 of missionaries to Belgium is that right? 02:09 That's right. In 1965 they sailed with their children 02:13 to Hong Kong to help setup a mission hospital for 02:16 the medically indigent refugees pouring 02:19 into Hong Kong out of China. 02:20 They now live in New Jersey where Joe 02:23 her husband practices family medicine 02:25 and they have five grown children and their 02:28 24th grand child is due this spring. 02:31 She teaches women's Bible classes and trains other 02:34 women to teach and councils and speaks 02:36 at conferences and retreats 02:39 and she is also in the process of writing a book 02:41 on the wonderer's things that had done 02:45 and was doing during her father's ministry. 02:47 Arlita I want to welcome you. Thank you Kathy. 02:51 This Arlita Winston. It's a privilege, and 02:54 you've done many radio programs 02:56 with Elisabeth Elliot haven't you? 02:57 That's right. And I am just privileged to have you here. 03:01 Well it's a privilege. You know you had such a 03:05 rich and full experience and have had 03:08 and even from your early years you had a really 03:11 face building experience and a surrendering 03:14 experience when your are early, 03:16 when you were really young in your early years. 03:18 That's right. Could you tell us about that? 03:20 Well from I suppose I took it in with my 03:23 mothers milk I learned how to love the 03:27 Lord with all my heart and wanted serve him 03:29 and all through those years I really 03:35 expected to be able to go back to or fore 03:38 in mission field when I grew up and had planned 03:41 to go into medicine myself. Mission in your blood. 03:44 And that's right. And it was there 03:46 but I had a very major experience 03:50 when I was 15 I left home to go to a boarding school 03:54 actually when I was 14 but the experience when 03:57 I was 15 happened when my parents left 04:00 us to go back to the orient and I will never 04:04 forget that water shed experience 04:06 because up until them I have been with mother and 04:10 daddy and my family and it didn't 04:13 matter whether bombs were falling or 04:15 whatever we were family. We were 04:17 together and God had sent us, God was 04:19 going to care for us if we died we died 04:21 for him but when we were living we were living 04:23 for him but now I was leaving and it was going 04:27 to be on my own and I knew it would be for 04:30 a lot of years and my sister and I stood 04:33 on the dock of the ship waving good bye to mother 04:39 and dad and my four little brothers 04:42 and they would throw these steamers 04:46 from the deck, these bright colored streamers 04:49 and we would just catch them and then we 04:51 would cling to them and they would, 04:53 they would just bound and wave in the air 04:57 as the boat pulled away in that siren went 05:04 and the whistles went and the gang 05:06 plank went up and there was just excitement 05:09 in the air and of course my grandparents were 05:11 so thrilled because they were sending more 05:13 weepers out in the harvest to bring in more, 05:16 more people to love the Lord. 05:19 Right. And Andrew and I stood there though 05:22 on the dock just weeping 05:25 because we were loosing mother and dad 05:28 and our family. She was going off to college 05:32 and I was going out to finish my schooling in 05:36 High school. Before going to college 05:39 and that both boat pulled out and those streamers 05:43 pulled tighter and tighter and when that last one 05:46 pulled and broke and fell into the water 05:50 I just thought my heart had broken 05:56 and I really thought somebody had died 05:57 and I went through such a grieving of realizing 05:59 that they had gone. So, on the way home 06:02 it was a very quite carload back home 06:06 when we got back to grand ma and grand pa's house 06:08 I fled down to an apartment of a couple 06:11 who had always welcomed me, Skate 06:13 and Viren Delma and they just opened their arms 06:17 and I just sobbed and sobbed 06:19 and they held me close to them and then sat me 06:23 down and they opened up the scriptures. 06:26 The particular scripture in Matthew 06:29 and it said and everyone who has left houses 06:34 or brothers or sisters or father or mother 06:37 or children or fields for my sake they will 06:42 receive a 100 times as much and will inherit 06:46 eternal life and that's found in Matthew 19:29. 06:49 That scripture looked me full in the face. 06:54 I can see how. And I knew right 06:58 that in there I had a decision to make 07:00 I could either hold this grief to my heart 07:04 and nurse to my dieing day my right to 07:09 have a family or I could choose to offer it up 07:16 as a gift to my Lord that overwhelmed me to 07:21 think that I could offer a gift to my Lord 07:25 and I could choose that day to be a part 07:29 of what they were doing and to sacrifice my home 07:35 life so that somebody else could come into the 07:39 family of God and the scripture just rang bells 07:47 in my heart and set me free. 07:49 I stood up dried my tears. 07:51 Gave you strength! And I went on, 07:53 now there came another time later on 08:01 when I became engaged and of course I still have not 08:02 seen mother and dad since then so I went 08:03 through those years without mother and daddy. 08:04 It did last that long then. Yes. Alright. 08:06 And there came that time when I was engaged 08:08 to be married and here I had been planning 08:12 to go into medicine and he looked at me one day 08:16 and he said Arleta I don't want to come home to 08:20 a doctor I want to come at home to a wife 08:23 and to the mother of my children. Amen. 08:29 And I listened to that and it was just 08:33 another opportunity to say yes, Lord. 08:36 I offer this up as a gift, I don't know 08:41 what you're going to do but I offer it up, 08:44 I relinquish all the plans that I have made. 08:50 I believe this is what you want me to do. 08:52 Was it a simple struggle at that time though 08:54 did you fight? I didn't fight it for long. 08:58 Did it come easier though? It did come easier 09:01 I think because of the earlier relinquishment 09:03 that God had woofed in my heart and 09:05 I was beginning to understand the very principle 09:07 that when we relinquish some thing that we 09:10 have planned our agenda in the light of 09:14 something that God is going to do 09:16 so much greater that we may not have 09:19 clear sight as to what he is going to do 09:22 but we just now deepen our hearts that God's ways 09:25 are better than our ways. 09:26 Then it lightens a Lord and you look with 09:31 anticipation. I believe we can look with 09:33 anticipation that the gift we've offered, 09:36 the gift that he accepts and then he turns 09:39 something beautiful out of what we have 09:43 offered may be far greater than what we 09:45 had planned ourselves. 09:47 I think Paul must talk about the trails 09:49 and joy and trials too and that probably 09:52 would fit your situation looking for, 09:55 I think so. Not, not denying them to come 09:59 along or guarding yourself so much that they can't 10:03 allowing the Lord to work in this. To 10:05 develop character to make us ready to live with 10:08 angels don't you think? Yes little bit I 10:10 know that he was developing that character 10:13 in me a promises of relinquishment 10:15 and acceptance of something better 10:18 which would result in my utter prays 10:22 to who he is? Right. And what he can do? 10:25 And that's an experience that you can rely 10:29 on for future and each time you can have 10:33 a stronger face that will help you get through 10:37 what's coming. And that did you mean that 10:39 I didn't miss mother and daddy? Not at all. 10:42 The grief and the anguish at different times 10:48 but I always knew where my home was. 10:52 And I like that, that you said that you 10:55 work together you would do this so that 10:58 you could be together in your efforts for 11:01 others to come into the family of God. Yes, 11:03 in fact years later when you mentioned that I 11:05 was writing a book years later I was 11:07 sitting with my father and a micro phone 11:09 over a table, listening to the stories. 11:11 Of his side? Yes. Of all the wonderful things 11:16 that God had done through these years 11:18 through mother and daddy and I was taking 11:21 them all down on tapes so that I could be writing 11:24 about them and at that point I felt the presence of 11:28 the Lord standing with me and saying 11:30 Arleta do you remember that day 11:32 when the streamers broke and your heart broke 11:35 that day when you gave your parents 11:39 to me as a gift and your right to have a family 11:43 and I said yes Lord by now the tears 11:46 were spilling down my cheeks and dad was 11:49 wondering what I was crying about and 11:52 the Lord continued speaking to me 11:54 and said you're only seeing a very small part 11:58 of that 100 fold that I've given you. 12:02 Oh! yes and I'm sure that is a wonderful conclusion 12:06 or confirmation. A confirmation of what 12:10 you've done there. And totally by 12:12 surprise show me that the beauty of that sacrifice. 12:17 Think of family though to it doesn't have to 12:20 be if you choose and you surrender to the Lord. 12:23 If you're working on that together 12:26 family does not have to be together to be family. 12:28 No. You know you were just as much family 12:32 and longed for that closeness by being a part. 12:35 I can remember one time Kathy where 12:38 I was in just desperation as to what college 12:41 I should go to and I was waiting for that 12:43 transatlantic telephone call to come early 12:47 in the morning and waiting to hear that voice 12:50 crackling over in those days she didn't 12:52 get clear calls and it was a Christmas time 12:56 and I heard mother coming on the phone 13:00 and she said merry Christmas sweetheart 13:05 and the government of our lives is upon 13:08 his shoulders. Amen. And then she quoted that 13:11 Verse from Isaiah 9:6, that his name will be 13:15 called wonderful councilor, the mighty God, 13:18 the everlasting father, the prince of 13:21 peace and government of my life was upon 13:24 his shoulder and so mother and dad had 13:27 to have they'll see the same kind of grief 13:30 in a different of relinquishing their 13:34 children in the same way that 13:36 I had relinquish my parents. 13:39 I will be glad to read your book when 13:40 it comes out because I like to see their side 13:42 being a mother I'd like to see their side 13:45 of the relinquish. I had a similar experience 13:48 not so far a part but still a part 13:53 with our older daughter when she went home 13:56 school for 10 years with her all ways together. 13:59 Everyday not getting up and going off on 14:02 a business where you'd ever were a custom to 14:05 that daily separation and you can't do that 14:08 unless you have a great deal of tolerance 14:11 a great deal of patients and love for your children to 14:14 be around you at all times. 14:16 And there came the time that we decided 14:21 the cause of her social and leadership ability, 14:24 she really needed to go on and she chose 14:26 to go to school and in a private academy 14:29 and we drove her away and the whole trip 14:33 was probably 13 hours or so and I may be more 14:39 and in the car we would have music and 14:42 there was a piece a violin piece that she 14:47 had played and every I heard ir that day 14:50 and I'm about to cry now every time I heard it 14:53 my I ate inside because I knew 14:56 I wouldn't be hearing her, don't hear any more. 14:59 I know that she will. But it went eventually, 15:02 but when we came back home we would pass by 15:06 her bedroom and it was like a deaf, 15:08 it was like a desert family, but I had 15:10 to relinquish that. I had to get over that 15:12 and I had to give it to the Lord that she would be 15:15 alright and I am very glad that she is, what 15:20 the Lord has made up her today and she 15:23 has seen that as a, that grows and family 15:28 experience and this come to lot of family all 15:30 the more, but now I wanted to ask you, 15:33 you have all these rich experiences 15:37 and we're gonna hear much more of them 15:40 but there is, has there been a time 15:44 when you did not easily relinquish, 15:49 yes, did you had trouble surrendering to the Lord. 15:52 Yes, it wasn't in the early days it was much later 15:56 and in fact it was after we had five children 15:59 and had been on the mission field and we felt 16:04 great dismay and discouragement, 16:08 they are on the mission field at not being able 16:11 to see what we had hoped would happen on 16:14 the mission field and we actually because we did 16:18 not handled that correctly that turned into 16:22 bitterness in our hearts and that provided the 16:25 atmosphere for my personal rebellion 16:28 and a rebellion in going along with what God 16:34 wanted and with what my husband wanted 16:37 and those churn I found ourselves in a period 16:41 of time or for your period where we would 16:43 deeply alienated from God. 16:45 On no small time. No small area. No small time. 16:48 It was for long years which seemed liked 16:52 eternity and were alienated from our 16:55 families, we were alienated from God. 16:58 Through your feelings, through the bitterness? 17:01 Yes. I see. Yes. And we decided to get God's work 17:05 done in our own way 17:09 and which was a major mistake and it let us into 17:15 sin, it us let us into alienation 17:18 and yeah during that time I did not sense 17:23 that God had left us but that he was allowing us 17:27 to go through this to really discover what 17:30 it was going to be like to be without him 17:32 and doing it our own way and one time 17:36 I was coming down then we were 17:38 up in the mountains about 7000 feet up in 17:44 big bare lake California and I was coming down 17:48 the mountains one day alone and I was just 17:51 ogling down as fast as I could around those 17:54 hairpin curves and I saw the storm clouds 17:58 gathering and I knew snow was coming 18:02 and I knew it wouldn't be long and sure 18:05 enough it wasn't three minutes before my 18:08 windshield was discovered with snow 18:12 and I could hardly see three to four feet 18:16 ahead of me and I saw a little light 18:21 Oh! those were those sticks 18:25 that were pounded into the mountain side long ago 18:28 when this world was built they told me about 18:30 it when we moved up here that when a 18:33 snow storm came sometimes you just 18:35 could not see the road. 18:36 Yes. And of course that was 7000 feet cascading 18:41 below you and so here I was blinded 18:45 by the snow, I couldn't stop there was no 18:48 way to turn around, I knew if I did stop 18:51 someone would come in behind me 18:53 but I knew there was one thing those sticks 18:57 with a light right ahead of me if I could keep 19:00 my eye on that stick I would stay on the road 19:06 and I could see about two sticks ahead 19:10 so I knew where I had to go and for three hours 19:15 I just hold the wheel like this and just starred 19:18 to watch those sticks and walked to my way 19:23 inch by inch down but not inside 19:26 and during the terror of those hours 19:30 as I would catch one light and then the next, 19:34 and then the next God began speaking to my heart. 19:38 He said Arleta you're in a storm of your life 19:44 and you've lost your moorings completely. 19:49 Someone very wise years ago placed these 19:52 sticks here so that you wouldn't fall off the 19:54 mountain side and you're going to come through 19:58 because I'm gonna help you to see those lights, 20:03 but somebody wise is still putting sticks 20:07 before the foundation of the world. 20:10 Amen. Amen. And those sticks were meant 20:13 to keep you on the straight and narrow road 20:16 that road that leads to life instead of 20:20 destruction and you need to get back to those sticks 20:24 Arleta, you need to get back and look for those sticks 20:28 that I have placed there to keep you on the road, 20:31 to keep you from crashing below 20:35 and it wasn't long after that 20:39 God really met me and there was a Verse 20:42 that came to me in John 14:23 20:47 if anyone loves me he will obey my teaching, 20:51 my father will love him and we will come to him 20:56 and we will make our home with him 21:02 and at that point when I had missed moorings 21:05 I didn't love him and I wasn't obeying him 21:09 and I knew that the first thing I needed to do 21:12 was to confess that to relinquish my own plans, 21:15 to relinquish my way of doing things 21:18 and to get back to him and then he would 21:22 help me to get back on the right way. 21:25 And I began thinking about and I just what 21:27 are those sticks hat God has planted there. 21:30 Well, was any of this having to do with 21:33 any wifely rebellion towards your husband 21:38 during this time? Yes, because my husband felt 21:41 that we should be doing a certain thing 21:43 and I didn't, during the whole four years or, yes 21:48 and we did go ahead and do what he felt 21:52 we should do but then I decided alright 21:55 if you're going to do that I will do my thing. 21:58 I see. And I did to all of our near destruction. 22:04 And it was only God, who could deliver us 22:10 out of what we got ourselves into but it was coming 22:14 back to those sticks that helped me to get back 22:20 on course during this four years 22:22 we were just nearly destroyed because of our 22:25 disobedience and thinking that we knew better than 22:28 God and then one thing led to another 22:33 I think if I had seen the end at the beginning 22:35 I never would have gone down that path. 22:37 But the Lord doesn't always allow us that. 22:39 No. And teaches us, it certainly teaches us. 22:42 So when thinking about just what are those 22:46 sticks that God does plant there, 22:49 I feel that there is some major stakes in my life 22:54 I look back on that have been anchors for me 22:57 and one is the fear of the Lord. 23:00 And the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. 23:04 And the fear of the Lord is to hate evil 23:07 and enmity in us. He would enmity in us a hatred 23:13 toward sin. And I needed that and I needed 23:17 to recognize and admit to God that even 23:20 though I enjoyed what I was doing it 23:22 was at enmity with him and I needed to relinquish it 23:27 and confess it a sin and saying God 23:29 I don't want to do this, I don't to want to let go 23:32 of my own ways. It's going to kill me 23:35 to let go of my own way and God says 23:39 sure enough it's going to kill you. 23:40 And he says anyone would follow me 23:44 let him pick up his Cross deny himself, 23:52 follow me, obey me, and then in the very 23:56 obeying of him he comes in and resides in us 24:02 and makes a home in us which I was wanting 24:07 desperately. And so the fear of the Lord 24:09 relinquishing of our own agenda accepting 24:13 his is being so much greater than ours 24:17 and then being able to worship him and praise and 24:22 thanks giving and in end I think in anticipation 24:25 of what he was going to do even though we didn't 24:27 think that it was going to be as good as our idea. 24:31 And you want to go onto cover some stakes 24:33 before we have close the program. 24:35 Can you do that? Relinquishmentx 24:38 of our agenda. Yes. Accepting God's purposes 24:44 And then anticipating with praise and worship 24:48 for who he is because its not the situation 24:51 that we are so new and to be concerned 24:54 about its who God is and what he is going to do 24:57 with us is poor miserable creatures. 25:00 Well let's cover a little bit about that relinquishment, 25:04 a little bit more and that acceptance and 25:07 that praise we have a little bit more time. 25:10 What more can you help us to understand 25:12 about those stakes. Well, I think of 25:18 two women in the old testament that remind me 25:22 of those who had big stakes and that they lost 25:27 them and then they gained them again 25:30 and that was Sarah and Eve 25:35 both had husbands who communed with God, 25:38 both for women who were beautiful, 25:40 they both had to leave their homes, 25:43 they both took things into their own hands, 25:46 they both found out that they ran him up, 25:51 and they messed things up royally 25:55 and God had to intervene somewhere along 25:59 the line. We know that Eve finally accepted 26:03 because her son Abel was taught on the ways of 26:08 the Lord and he offered a perfect sacrifice 26:10 and then her grandson, Enos says that after 26:14 he was born men truly began to call upon the 26:18 name of the Lord and if you call on the name 26:21 of the Lord that means you're not the Lord, 26:23 you are calling on him to be the Lord 26:26 and the Sarah of course. She to me 26:31 is a prime example who at first, 26:34 she didn't believe and yet she is the one 26:36 who is noted in the 11 Chapter of 26:39 Hebrews as being a women of such faith 26:43 because she called her husband Lord. 26:47 She submitted to him. Now can you imagine 26:50 calling your husband Lord when he has just 26:55 palmed you off on to a heathen king 26:58 and it was amazing that she could call him Lord. 27:01 Yes and we wives are asked to be like 27:04 Sarah and I first Peter 3, 5 and 6 it says 27:08 they were submissive to their own husbands like 27:10 Sarah who obeyed Abraham and called him 27:13 her Lord goes on to say that you do it 27:16 without fear because its not your husbands 27:19 you're trusting it's the Lord your trusting. 27:21 That's right. And that's who we need to 27:23 trust isn't it and it gives us hope, 27:26 we're going to be talking more 27:28 about women as wives women and surrender 27:31 aren't they and we want our viewers to join in 27:34 that way we do yes. We've got a lot to share 27:37 because it's hopeful. It is hopeful and as you 27:41 try to put these things into your lives 27:45 and you pray about women as wives 27:48 and in surrender I pray that it will be joist thing 27:52 to you too. And our ladies gonna be back with 27:54 us next time and I want you to join 27:57 us on Thinking about Home. |
Revised 2014-12-17