Participants: Paula Woodruff, Kathy Matthews
Series Code: TAH
Program Code: TAH000119
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00:32 Welcome to Thinking about Home.
00:34 I'm Kathy Matthews and we are thinking about 00:36 our heavenly home and in preparation for our heavenly 00:40 home we've been talking about submission, surrender, 00:44 women in surrender, and we have Paula Woodruff 00:47 with us again. And I wanna thank you Paula 00:49 for being here again. Very welcome. 00:51 We want to cover the most complete submission 00:57 in Christ don't we and we want to talk about your 01:01 story or not your story today, but that you have had 01:05 a story and surrender and that this surrender 01:09 has been largely learned through surrendering 01:12 to your husband. And then the reason for this 01:16 surrender, so why is it that we need to surrender? 01:23 When we are not surrendered we are full of ourselves 01:26 and when we are full ourselves then we are not 01:28 full of Christ. And the only way that a sinner can truly 01:32 come to know and understand God is to be filled 01:35 with Christ. And so this whole process that God 01:39 has designed allows us to learn to die to ourselves, 01:43 to submit ourselves to those in authority over us. 01:48 And at the same time, we learn how to submit 01:52 ourselves to God. To Christ. Ultimately yes. 01:54 And in the church, our family in surrender, 01:57 ourselves in surrender, our spouses in ourselves 02:00 in surrender, our family in surrender and surrender 02:03 to the Church and Christ. Yes. It carries over. 02:05 The women finding her role of surrender in the home 02:10 is so important because it doesn't just stop there. 02:13 Just like when you throw a stone into a lake 02:16 and you see how it ripples. The way a women relates 02:21 to her family and to her husband carries over into 02:25 the way she relates to her duties and roles 02:28 in the Church. That's true. 02:30 And in the community and so if a women is prideful 02:33 and filled with herself and full of the controlling 02:36 spirit, which I have been, I struggled with that, 02:41 then I am hindered in my work and sharing the Gospel. 02:46 Also in heaven, we have a society that we are looking 02:50 forward to in which everyone will serve each other. 02:53 Right, right. I'm glad you brought that up? 02:56 So, I once heard a story of someone who saw some people 03:04 and these people were very miserable and they 03:07 were sitting around a stewpot. Right. 03:09 And they were all very, very hungry and they wanted 03:12 to eat and he wondered why they were so hungry 03:16 when there was this stewpot seeing in the middle 03:18 of their group; full of wonderful food and the smell 03:22 was just coming out of this cauldron and smelled so good. 03:27 And he realized that everyone had spoons that were 03:30 the length of their arms and they were frustrated 03:34 and they were very thin and unhappy and then he 03:38 was shown a different group and this group was smiling 03:40 and happy and singing praises and they were so happy 03:44 and their stewpot was quickly becoming empty. 03:48 Can you realize... How was it done? 03:50 You realize the difference was the people who were 03:52 so miserable were trying to feed themselves with 03:56 these long spoons and as a result they were starving, 04:00 but the others have learned that in giving 04:03 we receive and so they were feeding each other 04:07 with the spoons and it has to be that kind 04:10 of a situation both in the home and in the church. 04:13 Alright. When we are feeding each other. 04:16 When my husband loves me as God has called him 04:21 to love me, which Jeremy has been very quick to learn 04:26 these lessons and apply them in the home and it 04:28 has been a great blessing to me. 04:31 Now, that he has learned to love me as Christ loves 04:35 the Church, it frees me up to serve him as Christ 04:40 served the Church and so in order for her husband 04:44 or wife to live out the roles that God would 04:47 have them live we have to turn to Christ and we see it 04:51 through our scripture that while Christ was here on 04:55 earth, he lived out both the submissive role of the husband 04:59 and the submissive role of the wife. 05:01 I think that's interesting, you should bring that up. 05:03 Now, it was a problem for the Scribes and Pharisees 05:08 and religious leaders of that day because these were men, 05:12 who were very full of self and they had a difficult time 05:16 even recognizing their savior. Right. 05:18 Because they were so selfish and self serving. 05:23 And we see that in Matthew 11:29 Christ says 05:32 that Come to me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, 05:34 and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, 05:37 and learn from me, for I am gentle and lovely in heart, 05:39 and you will find rest for your souls. 05:42 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light. 05:45 And this is something that the Scribes and Pharisees 05:47 could not accept about Christ they were looking 05:50 for a savior who would come and pop. 05:54 Would be a ruler. Yes and with glory. At that point. 05:58 Someone, yes who would be a conqueror for them and, 06:01 and indulge them in their selfish pursuits. Right. 06:06 And when Christ came being the humble and submissive, 06:09 so that he was starting to recognize. 06:12 He was guiding to them. I think. Yes. 06:13 And it frustrated them. And they felt threatened 06:16 because here was a Christ, here was a Christ that was 06:19 challenging them lay down your life and take up mine. 06:24 It was not what they were accustomed to. 06:25 No, they did not want to do that and they were also 06:29 so tired to the works of their own hands that they 06:32 couldn't see the Christ could free them from this. 06:35 Their yokes were heavy and their burdens 06:37 were heavy because they could not come to accept 06:39 this in humility. And so it is our prayer as Christians 06:43 that can all humble ourselves in the side of the Lord 06:47 and then be able to understand greater truth because 06:52 we are not filled with the pursuits of this world. 06:57 Did you have a quote from Adventist Home there 07:00 that you wanted to share on forbearance. Yes, I did. 07:05 The forbearance that we give to each other 07:07 as husband and wife in the home has to be the same 07:11 forbearance that we use when we are at Church 07:13 in the Church setting. There must be a forbearance between 07:16 the deacons and deaconesses and the pastor 07:20 and the congregation. Which is really again 07:24 an attitude of submission is it? 07:27 Yes it is. And considering one above another. 07:29 Yes. And see the beauty of this system that God 07:32 has established is when you are serving me and you 07:37 are caring for my needs, I then freed to serve others. 07:41 I don't have to worry about taking care of myself 07:44 anymore and so in preparing for the kingdom of heaven, 07:48 we are trying to bring ourselves into the submissive 07:50 world, so that we can experience heaven now. And 07:54 be fit to live with angels. Yes. Yes to do this. 07:59 On page 118 of the Adventist Home, 08:01 if you have it you're welcome to follow along talking 08:04 about Mutual Forbearance, it says we must have 08:06 the spirit of God that we can never have harmony 08:09 in the home and this could carry over into the Church. 08:12 The wife if she has the spirit of Christ will be careful 08:15 of her words. Oh, I'm so guilty not sticking to that. 08:21 She will control her spirit, she would be submissive 08:24 and yet will not feel that she is a bond slave, 08:27 but a companion to her husband. 08:29 And here again I think they were establishing 08:31 that the man and the woman were created equal, 08:35 but different, we both specialize in different areas 08:39 and we lose something as women when we make 08:44 our focus in life being better then men like being males. 08:49 Right. You know I remember something that I read 08:53 recently that its women who always trying to take the 08:59 roles of the man, but do you ever you rarely, 09:03 you rarely see the man ever want to take a role 09:06 of a women. It's always the women for the man. 09:11 That is interesting. And I think that's well 09:16 it says to me that God has his plan all around the world 09:22 and it's not something that he really wanted to happen. 09:27 And I think too, it speaks too. I think deep inside 09:31 everyone we know in a sense what we are to be. But 09:35 yet societies tells us that we ought to be something 09:37 else and this I think is important in the way we dress 09:42 because it's important for a young lady to embrace 09:46 womanhood to say I am proud to be a woman. That's 09:50 right. So, I as a mother have been challenged 09:53 to present motherhood and womanhood as a joyful 09:57 experience not as a burden. Not as something that 10:01 I resent, this is something that I love and I do I guess 10:06 I could say that I do believe in women's liberation, 10:09 but not in the sense that it's understood today. 10:12 Right. But, in accepting God's original design 10:16 for what I was to be that is liberating. Yes. 10:19 That is true freedom for me. And I think if there 10:25 are women out there today who are struggling in their 10:28 marriage and things just do not feel right there seems 10:33 like something is missing and you know there should 10:36 be more to your marriage then what it is. 10:39 I challenge you to study this for yourself and see if 10:44 maybe some of the cause for your distress is that you 10:48 have not learned to live the role that God 10:50 has designed. And hopefully that would be in homes, 10:53 where a husband will seek out the same studying. 10:57 Yes. And but he doesn't have to be just in a home 11:01 where there is a husband this can be a single women... 11:05 Yes. Who needs to understand this as well. 11:08 Yes. It could be a young person, who is maybe watching 11:10 the program and it might inspire them to pick up 11:13 the Bible and start reading and learning. 11:16 What is my place and I'm not saying putting you in your 11:21 place as if you are lower than, but where should I, 11:24 where will I grow best. Yes. 11:26 How does God want me to be? That is a question 11:29 that I think many people have not realized they need 11:33 to ask yet. So many times we get comfortable 11:37 with where we are at and if we would just take time 11:40 in solitude in prayer to really analyze where we are 11:44 in our life. Perhaps the Lord has more that he would 11:48 like to show us. I think so. 11:50 And I think you know for me this has been the key 11:53 to a knocking a whole treasure chest of joy. 11:57 And I think that in presenting going back to presenting 12:01 a positive role for children, I, I do my very best to live 12:08 out womanhood in front of my daughters part of that 12:12 includes being feminine. Wearing a dress and doing 12:17 my hair and trying to learn some of the feminine graces 12:20 that we have lost side off. I grew up being a tomboy, 12:23 I was very good at sports and I can still climb a tree 12:27 and ride a horse with the best of him. 12:29 Right and still you would. 12:31 And yes. So, I am not saying that becoming a woman 12:34 means you can no longer enjoy things that men do. 12:38 That's so pleasant like that. 12:39 Yes, and I certainly don't wanna say that, 12:42 that for a women to wear pants that would be a sin 12:45 or anything like that. I think that they are extremes that 12:48 we can go to with this and we certainly don't wanna 12:50 health balance in all these things. 12:58 It says, we cannot cherish home affection with too much 13:01 care for the home, if the Spirit of Lord dwells there, 13:04 is a type of heaven. And in any of these sayings 13:08 we can substitute the word home for the word Church. 13:12 Our Church is to be a type of heaven. If one airs, 13:15 the other will exercise Christ like forbearance 13:18 and not draw coldly away. Neither the husband nor 13:21 the wife should attempt to exercise over the other 13:23 in arbitrary control. Do not try to compel each other 13:27 to yield to your wishes. This carries over into our 13:30 Church family, in that some of us are convicted differently 13:33 than others and we certainly seeing different levels 13:37 of growth. Right. In different people and so we cannot 13:40 try to force someone's conscious on an issue. 13:44 For example if I am convicted on something and you 13:46 are not, it is not my place to pressure 13:49 you and try and compel you to yield your conscious 13:53 to me, no. This is the work of the Holly Spirit. 13:57 Yes. While we share what would be the best thing 14:00 like right now. Yes. We are sharing what it is 14:04 for a woman to seek out her role as Christ 14:08 would have her to be and that way you're doing 14:14 what you're fulfilling that growth process in the Church, 14:21 where we can work together. 14:24 Yes. But if the husband is to compel the wife's conscious 14:28 then she is doing it for her husband and not onto God. 14:31 And so in the Church setting convictions needed 14:36 to be lift out for God not for because of your peer 14:39 pressure from other people. 14:40 We're desired to do, have the virtuous thing. Yes. 14:45 You cannot do this compel each other and retain 14:48 each other's love. Be kind, patient, forbearing, 14:51 consider it, and courteous. By the grace of God 14:54 you can succeed in making each other happy, 14:56 as in your marriage vow you promised to do. 14:59 And speaking of marriage vows. 15:03 They are different today aren't they. 15:04 Yes. They are they've changed a lot and when my husband 15:07 and I were married, I was just adamant that I was 15:11 not going to promise to obey, there is a word in there 15:15 when the women gives her vows to her husband 15:17 where I would love, honor and obey and I said 15:20 no way. Really, Yes. For me it just held a terrible meaning, 15:28 obey? And I could just Especially you? 15:32 Yes especially me, being involved with the feminism. 15:36 I would say, I was thinking though if though on the 15:39 woman side to say to obey you, when he might 15:44 not have all those things in gear. Yes. 15:51 To show us or where we would won't obey him, 15:54 this is what I mean is more in the woman side, 15:57 wondering about how she have to obey him. Yes 15:59 And starting our marriage, you know, there were, 16:02 there were many weaknesses in my husband 16:04 that I saw and I thought, you know. 16:08 Why should I submit to him, look at all the things 16:10 that he does not have together. Right. 16:13 And what he didn't realize was that in being critical 16:15 and not taking my place as the women. 16:19 Was making it worse. I was telling him down. 16:21 Right. And making him a lot worse because 16:23 lot of his problem stem from not having any confidence 16:26 and so confidence is not developed through heavy 16:31 criticism, which is what I was putting him under. 16:36 Right and this Mutual Forbearance helps. 16:38 Yes. It does. It has helped immensely. 16:42 By the grace of God you can succeed in making 16:44 each other happy and that is a promise I believe that 16:48 and if there is a joy in knowing that you are helping 16:52 someone else feel happy. There are so many things 16:55 in this world that we can feel miserable over and so 16:59 that's quite a gift that you can give to each other. 17:02 Right. In the married life, men and women sometimes act 17:04 like undisciplined, perverse children same happens in 17:08 our Church family. Isn't that so? 17:10 The husband wants his way and the wife wants her way, 17:12 and neither are willing to yield. Such a condition 17:16 of things can bring only the greatest unhappiness. 17:19 Both husband and wife should be willing to yield his or her 17:21 way or opinion. There, no we didn't say yield conviction. 17:26 Right. And I think we need to make a distinction there. 17:29 Right. I'm glad you made that point. 17:30 Because there are women who become believers 17:33 and their husbands are nonbelievers and then 17:35 there arises the question why because he does not believe, 17:38 but he is the man and the head of our household. 17:40 Should I surrender my convictions and that goes back 17:44 to what we mentioned in an earlier program, no, 17:46 your convictions and your individuality belong to God 17:49 and God alone. Okay, but through your loving submission 17:54 to your husband in areas that are not areas of conviction 17:58 you may bring your husband into your belief. 18:02 You may woo him. By your chaste behavior. 18:05 Yes. Love people can resist anger, you know, 18:09 if someone comes to you and approaches you with anger 18:11 there is an immediate wall put up. 18:13 But is difficult to resist. Yes. That kind of love. 18:15 Love, a love that brings service and submission 18:19 is so hard to resist and that's why Christ used that 18:21 approach. Right. With his character? Yes. 18:24 And it's so beautiful. I tear up over it. 18:30 Both husband and wife should be willing to yield 18:32 his or her way of opinion. There is no possibility of 18:35 happiness while they both persist doing as they please. 18:39 Unless men and women have learned of Christ, 18:40 His meekness and lowliness, they will reveal impulsive, 18:44 unreasonable spirit so often revealed by children. 18:48 And what is Paul say about being children, 18:50 when I was a child, I speak as a child, I act as a child. 18:53 But after that. Yes. I put away childish things. 18:56 Put away childish things, yes. The strong, undisciplined 18:59 will seek to rule such ones need to study the words 19:02 of Paul concerning the child. And I think that Christ 19:10 came to be our example in everything and just 19:13 a few examples of how he lived out both the male role 19:18 of submission and the female role of submission. 19:20 I have here and I would like to share. 19:25 Though he was subject to the same laws, 19:27 both of nature and of the 10 commandments just as we are, 19:30 he perfectly demonstrated and represented the 19:33 character of God. And marriage union also represents God. 19:37 The Christ lived out how both husband and wife 19:39 are to submit. Husbands are to love their wives as Christ 19:43 love the Church and gave himself for it. 19:47 The husband is head of the women as Christ is head 19:49 of the Church and there are no words means then 19:53 I don't think there is any room left there for confusion. 19:56 It just says plainly, the man is the head of women 20:01 as Christ is the head of the Church. 20:04 And what is the Church the people. The people? 20:07 The people are the Church, while on earth Christ led, 20:10 fed, healed, protected, taught, pray for and 20:15 nurtured people. And there are certainly areas, 20:18 where men and women are alike. Women have a gift 20:24 for nurturing it seems to come natural to them, 20:28 but men also can be nurturers. Yes. 20:30 And Christ revealed that. Women cry and we are notorious 20:37 for our tears, right, but men can cry too and we see 20:40 in Psalms, God weep. Yes. God weeps, 20:43 Jesus wept in Psalms, David speaks of crying. 20:48 The tender side. Yes. So, certainly there are areas 20:51 where both of us can excel. Okay. 20:59 This is how husbands are called to behave toward their 21:01 wives they are to lead, feed, teach and nurture 21:05 their wives. And it's called the responsibility in one that 21:07 we find many men running away from because 21:10 it is scary and these women need to buildup their 21:14 confidence by letting them know linking your life 21:17 to that of Christ is going to make you something 21:21 that you never thought you could be. Right. 21:24 And It will make things that seem hard easy. 21:29 I have this that I could read out of child guidance, 21:33 its model homes to make a model Church and 21:35 every family is a Church over which the parents 21:39 preside. The first consideration of the parents 21:42 should be to work for the salvation of their children. 21:45 You know it takes submission to do that. Yes. 21:48 And when the father and the mother as priest and teacher 21:51 the family take their position fully on the side of Christ, 21:55 which is submission. Yes. A good influence will be 21:58 exerted in the home and this sanctified influence, 22:03 submissive influence will be felt in the Church 22:07 and will be recognized by every believer because 22:10 of the great lack of priority and sanctification 22:13 in the home the work of God is greatly hindered, 22:17 no man can bring into the church and influence 22:20 that he does not exert in his home life 22:24 and in his vicious relations. Amen. 22:26 You know we need to realize that the home is so important 22:29 for this area. This should starch should be trained 22:33 to the children and modeled by the mother 22:35 and the father. Yes. And you know, 22:37 I think if we are unwilling to stay in our marriage 22:41 vow obey, if we do not trust the man that we are 22:45 marrying enough to be able to say I will obey him 22:48 then how later in like can we expect our 22:51 children to obey their father. 22:55 Their father, yes I think that's a wonderful point, 22:58 because the children pick that up. Yes a lot. 23:02 Yes, they do. And we had a daughter born to us 23:06 in our second year of marriage and she picked 23:10 up right away that momma did not trust and 23:14 obey daddy. Right. And we saw her starting 23:17 to model my behavior toward him. 23:20 Did she ever tell Daddy what to do? 23:22 Oh yes. Just tell him off. 23:23 Yes, she spoke back to him just like she saw her 23:26 momma speaking back to him and that was a wakeup 23:30 call for me, when I saw her standing up to him 23:34 and exerting her will over him. I thought where did 23:38 she get that from and the Lord had to show 23:40 me Paula she is modeling you. Oh! What a heart 23:45 breaking experience, but I'm glad that he revealed 23:47 it to me. Now we have three children and we 23:51 are trying very, very hard to model the roles 23:54 that we were given, so that they can see 23:56 that it's okay to obey their father because in the minds 23:59 of children their father represents God. Right. 24:03 And not only the father, but the mother is standing 24:06 instead of God, as parents we are standing instead 24:09 of God, yes, until certainly until the time that they 24:14 can directly choose Christ they understand 24:16 what they need to choose and choosing their salvation. 24:20 Do you have something more now as we wrap up 24:22 our program to share with us. 24:24 Sure I would like to close with first a quote from 24:27 another quote, Remembrance Home in then with a 24:30 scripture text. The home in which the members 24:33 are polite, courteous Christians exerts a 24:35 far-reaching influence for good. Other families will mark 24:38 the results attained by such a home and will follow 24:41 the example set, in their turn guarding the home against 24:44 Satanic influences. The angels of God will often visit 24:48 the home in which the will of God bears sway. 24:52 And Gods will can only bear sway in our home as 24:55 our wills are submitted to His. Submitted to him. 25:01 First Peter Chapter 4 Verses 7 through 11 has a nice 25:05 statement in it. And it is not only applicable to our 25:09 home life, but to the life of our church. 25:12 But the end of all things is at hand; therefore be 25:16 serious and watchful in your prayers. 25:18 And above all things have fervent love for one another, 25:22 for "love will cover a multitude of sins." 25:24 Be hospitable to one another without grumbling. 25:28 As each one has received a gift, administer 25:30 it to one another, as good stewards of the manifold 25:33 grace of God. If anyone speaks, let him speak as the 25:36 oracles of God; if anyone ministers let him do it as 25:39 with the ability which God supplies, 25:41 but that in all things God may be glorified 25:43 through Jesus Christ, to whom belongs the glory 25:46 and dominion forever and ever. Amen. 25:48 Amen, Amen! Well that's a good place to end, 25:53 Amen. And we've covered a lot and it might not 25:57 be a very pleasant subject to a lot of people that would 26:01 be listening and surrender and submission 26:05 it's the work that has to be done in the heart, isn't it. 26:08 Yes it is. And to be able to teach our children 26:11 this is a privilege to work to develop their character 26:15 it's a heavy subject. Yes it is. 26:17 And to offer up our children to the Lord to give them 26:23 back to him they are his heritage and we need 26:25 to realize, who they belong to. Yes. 26:28 Don't you think? Oh! Definitely. You 26:30 know Paula for our viewers we ought to have a prayer. 26:34 I would like that. And what do you think? Yes. 26:35 And I wanna ask you to have that prayer. Okay. 26:38 And maybe they will bow their heads with us and ask 26:44 that the Holy Spirit come into their hearts, 26:45 so that they might surrender in the fullest. 26:48 Especially mothers and fathers or young women 26:49 and young man who are going to get married 26:52 and they have this need of learning surrender 26:57 in their lives. To surrender much more than ever before, 27:00 so could we do that Paula? Yes. Everyone. 27:04 Father in heaven we just ask that you will come 27:07 into our hearts as women and as Church members, 27:10 help us to learn your lessons of humility, 27:13 so that we can reach out and be more giving 27:15 and loving to others. Yes. 27:18 We thank you so much for the example of Jesus 27:20 that you sent for us to follow and we ask that you will 27:24 help us to follow him in all things each and everyday, 27:28 surrendering that will to your so that you will maybe 27:31 done. Please come into our families, 27:36 help us as mothers to model our joys womanhood 27:39 for our daughters and help us to model obedience, 27:43 we ask all of these things in the loving name of Jesus 27:47 Christ Amen. Amen. 27:50 And I want to thank you for being with us. 27:52 I want to thank you for being wiht us. 27:53 next time we are going to have more on women 27:55 and surrender, join us again on Thinking About Home. |
Revised 2014-12-17