Welcome again to
Thinking about Home. I'm Kathy
00:00:31.48\00:00:33.63
Matthews and I'm glad
that you've decided to be
00:00:33.66\00:00:36.20
with us. We have been,
we have been talking about
00:00:36.48\00:00:38.99
women and submission.
And women and surrender.
00:00:39.91\00:00:43.33
And we have a
guest with us named Paula
00:00:44.22\00:00:46.41
Wordref. And we
want to welcome her again
00:00:46.61\00:00:48.53
today. Thank you
Paula for being with us.
00:00:48.77\00:00:50.53
We were talking about
submission and I'm sure
00:00:51.58\00:00:57.00
that people ask
when they hear submission
00:00:57.21\00:01:00.79
especially women
ask about women and
00:01:01.07\00:01:03.81
submission that are
you talking about being a
00:01:04.19\00:01:07.21
doormat or you talking
about being substandard
00:01:07.70\00:01:10.44
or what are you talking about?
00:01:10.51\00:01:11.94
Yes, the word
submission or surrender is often
00:01:12.88\00:01:15.79
given a bad light and it
has a negative connotation
00:01:17.76\00:01:20.69
to it. And by submission
or surrender I, I do not
00:01:20.90\00:01:25.27
mean that women in
marriage should fall in to
00:01:25.56\00:01:27.58
the role of the husband
being the boy that comes
00:01:27.61\00:01:30.09
home and says, little
darling you know, come rub
00:01:30.20\00:01:32.89
my feet. Or of a woman
who is spineless nothing,
00:01:33.03\00:01:38.34
with no opinions of
her own walked all over
00:01:38.46\00:01:40.65
That's certainly not
what we mean and it's,
00:01:41.27\00:01:42.85
it's definitely what
God's view of Biblical
00:01:43.29\00:01:46.53
surrender. Is all
about. Yes. Right.
00:01:46.77\00:01:49.05
You know, we were
talking about phrase that
00:01:49.59\00:01:52.17
you coined I think
called gender blindness. Yes.
00:01:52.30\00:01:55.77
Why don't you
define that for us? Okay,
00:01:56.37\00:01:59.37
by gender blindness I
just mean that it would
00:02:00.81\00:02:03.14
seem in society that
we're moving closer and
00:02:03.34\00:02:06.15
closer toward a
co-ed. And have been for
00:02:06.42\00:02:09.02
a while. Type of
resistance, yes, we have
00:02:09.20\00:02:12.27
the co-ed clothing,
Calvin Klein has been a leader
00:02:12.36\00:02:15.19
in the co-ed ideas of
colon for both men and
00:02:15.43\00:02:20.97
women. Co-ed hairstyles,
hairstyles that a man
00:02:21.12\00:02:25.54
can wear or a woman.
I think that all these
00:02:25.66\00:02:29.18
things have create
a confusion and I know
00:02:29.38\00:02:31.18
that, when I was
growing up I felt
00:02:31.21\00:02:32.83
confused. And, well
and if you, if it was,
00:02:33.08\00:02:35.75
it was there when
you were growing up. Yes.
00:02:35.90\00:02:37.61
This is not just been
lately. Right. This has
00:02:37.72\00:02:39.09
been since for, for
many years. It's been going
00:02:39.12\00:02:41.99
on. So, we have a whole
generation or more that's
00:02:42.02\00:02:46.05
been growing up with
this idea and no wonder
00:02:46.17\00:02:48.16
they are confused.
And we touched in the
00:02:49.05\00:02:51.65
last program in, in
years past children would
00:02:51.86\00:02:55.95
be born into
families and grow up knowing,
00:02:55.98\00:02:58.49
what was expected of
them and what they were
00:02:59.38\00:03:00.90
to be. And this provided
some kind of a security.
00:03:01.15\00:03:03.49
Young men would,
would grow up copying their
00:03:05.56\00:03:08.09
fathers. And they knew
that they were supposed
00:03:08.33\00:03:11.03
to be workers and
providers. Right. Etcetera
00:03:11.19\00:03:14.98
and the, the young
girls would grow up knowing
00:03:15.18\00:03:17.12
how to take care of
a home and, and nurture
00:03:17.96\00:03:20.10
children. And now
we seem to have mixed
00:03:20.21\00:03:24.10
messages coming to
us. Young, young boys
00:03:24.33\00:03:26.62
are being raised to
get in touch with their
00:03:26.65\00:03:28.57
feminine side. And
young ladies are being
00:03:28.68\00:03:31.91
bombarded with
messages of girl power and.
00:03:32.17\00:03:34.48
Right. And I think
a lot this has been an
00:03:34.75\00:03:37.61
outgrowth of the
feminist movement, but it's
00:03:38.01\00:03:40.46
confusing because
inside God has given us a
00:03:40.66\00:03:44.18
nature and so growing
up for me I had this nature
00:03:44.53\00:03:49.31
that was telling me to
be feminine. And, and to
00:03:49.42\00:03:54.01
seek to learn how to
better nurture and serve
00:03:54.14\00:03:56.77
other people. Right.
But the same time society
00:03:56.94\00:03:59.11
was screaming at me.
No, that's old, that's
00:03:59.29\00:04:01.99
wrong. You need to be
a go-getter in your face
00:04:02.39\00:04:05.70
kind of woman, who
can take care of herself.
00:04:05.82\00:04:08.38
And so we have
this confusion now.
00:04:09.30\00:04:10.90
And being a
capable women is fine.
00:04:11.15\00:04:13.31
Yes, it is. But that's
not what you're talking
00:04:13.60\00:04:16.05
about by go-getter be
in your face type of a
00:04:16.29\00:04:18.89
woman. No. The
similarities that you
00:04:19.29\00:04:23.95
talked about, they've
been going on like I said
00:04:23.98\00:04:27.62
for a while. And I have
observed that even young
00:04:27.65\00:04:34.09
men feel that it's,
it's fine that if they can
00:04:34.30\00:04:38.53
mooch off of wome
supporting them. This is,
00:04:38.77\00:04:41.72
this is an acceptable
thing and some, somehow
00:04:42.25\00:04:45.55
they see no problem
with this. And while women
00:04:45.70\00:04:49.75
have presented this
feminist movement or the
00:04:50.03\00:04:53.50
lack of surrender.
This is partly what it's
00:04:53.66\00:04:56.25
produced, don't you
think, it some. Yes.
00:04:56.46\00:04:57.99
You know, some men who
feel that you should be
00:04:58.60\00:05:02.13
my protector and
provider. Right. It's confusing.
00:05:02.55\00:05:04.92
It is, and it's certainly
not. It's far from God's
00:05:05.46\00:05:07.86
design. He intended
that, that both genders
00:05:08.10\00:05:12.03
after sin were to take
on roles that would teach
00:05:12.58\00:05:17.16
them humility
because unless we're humble,
00:05:17.26\00:05:20.43
we cannot submit to
God or to fellow church
00:05:20.68\00:05:23.56
members. And so he
assigned women, the task
00:05:23.61\00:05:26.50
of, of, of childbearing
and of being subservient
00:05:26.92\00:05:31.60
to Adam. And this
was not meant to be an
00:05:31.74\00:05:35.06
undignified position
that degraded her. This was
00:05:35.74\00:05:38.74
to help her. And
she had to learn through
00:05:38.89\00:05:42.01
surrendering to her
body as she labored to give
00:05:42.29\00:05:44.31
birth. To just be
humble and, and let things
00:05:44.48\00:05:48.89
happen. And Adam
through tilling the soil,
00:05:49.16\00:05:52.81
which God cursed the
soil, so that he would have
00:05:53.86\00:05:56.30
to work by the sweat
of his brow to produce and
00:05:56.33\00:05:59.04
anyone who's done any
kind of farming can tell
00:05:59.13\00:06:01.81
you that working the
soil is a very humbling work.
00:06:01.94\00:06:04.98
You don't just walk
through the field and say
00:06:06.20\00:06:08.54
some magic words and
crops spring up. Right,
00:06:08.72\00:06:11.62
there is a lot of
toiling going on. It's toiling,
00:06:11.92\00:06:13.05
and sometimes things
do not go the way you wish
00:06:13.85\00:06:16.30
them to, right, and
so there is this humility
00:06:16.44\00:06:18.91
that comes from
them. Right, well even
00:06:19.25\00:06:21.18
surrender to the
elements, isn't that? Yes.
00:06:21.44\00:06:23.07
When it comes to
that. I've also been asked
00:06:23.19\00:06:26.38
many times, if through
surrender do I mean that
00:06:26.72\00:06:30.44
the women's identity,
her whole individuality is
00:06:30.67\00:06:34.69
lost in that of her
husband and we certainly
00:06:35.07\00:06:37.49
do not want to say
that, as a women God has
00:06:37.52\00:06:40.11
created you
precious. You're unique and
00:06:40.31\00:06:42.79
special. And he
wants you to live out your
00:06:43.06\00:06:47.44
convictions; he
wants you to have tastes.
00:06:47.47\00:06:50.42
Absolutely so,
especially if you have a spouse,
00:06:50.60\00:06:53.58
who would squash
those convictions. Right.
00:06:54.37\00:06:56.43
God wants you to
surrender to him. Right.
00:06:56.46\00:06:58.19
First in those areas.
Right. So, that's not, that type
00:06:58.42\00:07:01.28
of thing is not what
you're talking about.
00:07:01.31\00:07:03.52
No, certainly not.
Sometimes we have to
00:07:03.56\00:07:05.12
define something by
contrasting and showing
00:07:06.23\00:07:08.91
what it isn't
rather than what it is?
00:07:09.20\00:07:11.96
Definitely, the
Adventist home writes about
00:07:12.53\00:07:16.54
individuality. Entire
submission is to be made
00:07:16.57\00:07:19.81
only to the Lord Jesus
Christ, who has purchased
00:07:19.97\00:07:22.43
her as his own child by
the infinite price of his
00:07:22.57\00:07:25.49
life. God has given
her a conscience which she
00:07:25.81\00:07:28.53
cannot violate with
impunity. Her individuality
00:07:28.79\00:07:32.07
cannot be merged into
that of her husband for
00:07:32.28\00:07:35.23
she is the purchase of
Christ. It is a mistake to
00:07:35.53\00:07:38.55
imagine that with
blind devotion she is to do
00:07:38.70\00:07:41.13
exactly as her
husband says in all of things.
00:07:41.33\00:07:43.68
When she knows... It's
a mistake you're saying.
00:07:44.63\00:07:46.15
Yes, when she knows
that in doing so, injury
00:07:46.22\00:07:49.27
would be worked for
her body and her spirit,
00:07:49.38\00:07:51.91
which have been
ransomed from the slavery
00:07:53.33\00:07:54.95
of Satan. There is
one who stands higher than
00:07:55.05\00:07:57.73
the husband to the wife.
And that is her redeemer.
00:07:57.79\00:08:00.95
Yes. And her
submission to her husband is to
00:08:01.27\00:08:03.46
be rendered as God has
directed as it is fit in
00:08:03.49\00:08:07.30
the Lord. When
husbands require the complete
00:08:07.33\00:08:10.13
subjection of their
wives, declaring that women
00:08:10.47\00:08:12.16
have no voice or will
in the family that must
00:08:12.36\00:08:15.29
render entire submission
they placed their wives
00:08:15.62\00:08:18.12
in a position
contrary to the scripture.
00:08:18.25\00:08:20.30
And interpreting the
scripture in this way, they
00:08:21.42\00:08:22.95
do violence to the
design of the marriage
00:08:22.98\00:08:24.70
institution. This
interpretation is made
00:08:24.88\00:08:27.37
simply that they may
exercise arbitrary rule,
00:08:27.61\00:08:30.15
which is not their
prerogative. But we read
00:08:31.30\00:08:34.04
on, husbands love your
wives and be not bitter
00:08:34.34\00:08:37.20
against them. Umm!
I'm glad you read that.
00:08:37.48\00:08:39.66
I'm sure that that
clear up any ideas that you
00:08:39.73\00:08:42.76
might be out of
balance with what you're
00:08:43.00\00:08:46.30
talking about. Yes,
and that's the beauty of
00:08:46.49\00:08:48.93
everything that God
has designed is there is
00:08:49.05\00:08:50.66
balance. We have a
balance between mercy
00:08:50.81\00:08:53.43
and justice in the, in
the personality of God.
00:08:53.87\00:08:56.63
And so, there is a
balance between the man
00:08:57.30\00:08:59.86
and wife of service on
the part of the man and
00:08:59.89\00:09:02.81
surrender on the part
of the woman. And when
00:09:02.84\00:09:04.99
these two things are
lived out the way God
00:09:05.03\00:09:07.13
designed them to be
lived the result is a
00:09:07.89\00:09:10.99
perfect harmony
between man and wife.
00:09:11.17\00:09:13.35
And that's not to say
that they are not still
00:09:13.43\00:09:15.24
challenges to
overcome, but there is this
00:09:15.42\00:09:18.31
working together
hand-in-hand. Right.
00:09:18.96\00:09:20.88
Of the two.
Submission is also mentioned in
00:09:21.34\00:09:27.04
Paul's writings in
the New Testament. And I
00:09:27.37\00:09:28.92
would like to go
there. The first one is in
00:09:28.95\00:09:31.82
Ephesians, chapter 5.
And we start with verse
00:09:32.11\00:09:36.01
22. Says, wives,
submit to your own husbands as
00:09:36.21\00:09:39.82
to the Lord. For the
husband is the head of
00:09:39.88\00:09:42.69
the wife as also Christ
is the head of the church.
00:09:42.72\00:09:45.83
And he is the savior of
the body. Therefore just
00:09:46.24\00:09:49.18
as the church is
subject to Christ. So, let the
00:09:49.43\00:09:51.76
wives be to their own
husbands in some things.
00:09:51.99\00:09:55.13
No, all things. In
everything, and then it
00:09:55.73\00:09:59.25
addresses the men.
Husbands, love your wives,
00:09:59.43\00:10:02.16
just as Christ also
loved the church and gave
00:10:02.32\00:10:04.47
himself for her that he
might sanctify and cleanse
00:10:04.58\00:10:08.53
her with the washing
of water by the word.
00:10:08.57\00:10:10.61
Now, how can a
husband sanctify and cleanse
00:10:11.28\00:10:14.45
his wife with the
washing of the water by
00:10:14.56\00:10:17.18
the word. By being
the priest in the family.
00:10:17.21\00:10:20.77
And these were.
That's what, that's what it's
00:10:21.94\00:10:23.68
drawing from, isn't
it? Right. The priesthood.
00:10:24.12\00:10:25.46
Right. Or the service
on the sanctuary is what
00:10:25.95\00:10:27.96
that wording is
from. And these were two of
00:10:28.07\00:10:30.76
the roles that my
husband and I had reversed,
00:10:30.79\00:10:32.93
being in academy I
was a spiritual leader and
00:10:35.21\00:10:37.76
so forth you know,
brought that leadership into
00:10:37.91\00:10:39.72
my home, unaware of
marriage rules and how
00:10:39.87\00:10:45.26
God had designed the
to be. And so I was very
00:10:45.54\00:10:47.37
much over stepping my
husband in the role of,
00:10:47.59\00:10:49.40
of priest of the
family. And he was following me.
00:10:49.43\00:10:54.41
So, what the Lord had
to do was turn our whole,
00:10:55.22\00:10:57.50
the whole structure
of our home upside down.
00:10:57.53\00:10:59.97
And start us out again
in new roles. And they were
00:11:00.86\00:11:04.09
days when we
reverted back to the old
00:11:04.27\00:11:06.39
dysfunctional roles
simply because that's what,
00:11:06.60\00:11:08.29
what we knew. And
what it. But it certainly
00:11:08.79\00:11:11.10
wasn't what he designed.
That's what comfortable.
00:11:11.20\00:11:13.11
Yes, it goes on to
say. Husbands ought to love
00:11:14.20\00:11:16.95
their own wives as
their own bodies. He, who
00:11:17.25\00:11:19.91
loves his wife, loves
himself. For no one ever
00:11:20.09\00:11:22.87
hated his own flesh,
but nourishes and cherishes
00:11:23.16\00:11:24.79
it just as the Lord
does the church. For we are
00:11:25.05\00:11:29.02
members of his body,
of his flesh and of his
00:11:29.27\00:11:31.13
bones. For this
reason, a man shall leave his
00:11:31.43\00:11:33.47
father and mother and
shall be joined to his
00:11:33.60\00:11:35.07
wife and the two
shall become one flesh.
00:11:35.10\00:11:37.45
This is a great
mystery. In other words, I think
00:11:38.38\00:11:40.92
that God knew when he
assigned these rules that
00:11:41.09\00:11:44.23
it would be a mystery
to us. And that it would be
00:11:44.71\00:11:47.29
a challenge for us
to undertake what he had
00:11:47.47\00:11:49.66
given, but he knows
that we can do it, but I
00:11:49.88\00:11:52.45
speak concerning
Christ and the church.
00:11:52.72\00:11:54.08
Nevertheless let each
one of you in particular
00:11:54.61\00:11:56.59
so love his own wife as
himself and let the wife
00:11:57.15\00:11:59.99
see that she respects
her husband. And I cannot
00:12:00.02\00:12:03.91
tell you how much of a
blessing this has brought
00:12:04.29\00:12:06.99
into our home. There
is, it freeze up Jeremy,
00:12:07.19\00:12:10.89
I'm sure. Yes, it
does. It has been a beautiful
00:12:11.04\00:12:13.42
thing to watch my
husband, who started out
00:12:13.61\00:12:16.64
the marriage for lack
of a better word, spineles
00:12:16.78\00:12:21.75
to, to see this
confidence that the Lord has
00:12:23.26\00:12:26.07
planted in his heart
and watched that grow and
00:12:26.43\00:12:29.73
see how much
better he loves me now.
00:12:29.91\00:12:33.19
And how much better I
love him now that we're
00:12:34.46\00:12:36.74
doing what God has
asks us to do. It's such a
00:12:36.77\00:12:39.33
blessing. I also
wanted to mention that, what
00:12:39.52\00:12:43.82
we read here about
the wives being submissive
00:12:43.85\00:12:47.80
must be balanced
out with the proverbs 31
00:12:48.02\00:12:51.17
wife. And I would like
to go there, if you have
00:12:51.52\00:12:53.42
your Bibles. Please
turn to proverbs 31. I was
00:12:53.58\00:12:59.50
very interested to note
that this description of a
00:12:59.73\00:13:04.80
Godly wife, a virtuous
wife was not written by
00:13:05.02\00:13:07.43
a man, but by a woman.
That was. This was King
00:13:07.46\00:13:11.12
Lemuel's mother.
Yes. And I'm not sure who
00:13:11.15\00:13:14.88
King Lemuel is? I
haven't seen much mention
00:13:15.01\00:13:16.77
of him in the Bible,
but apparently he looked to
00:13:16.80\00:13:20.49
his mother for
guidance in how to find a wife
00:13:20.74\00:13:23.12
and this is the
direction that she gave. Right.
00:13:23.33\00:13:25.62
Who can find a
virtuous wife for her worth is
00:13:27.35\00:13:29.32
far above rubies.
The heart of her husband
00:13:29.50\00:13:31.86
safely trust her.
What a beautiful thing?
00:13:32.11\00:13:34.34
It is, it is something
that we should cherish,
00:13:37.06\00:13:39.24
the trust of our
husband. And it's something that
00:13:39.38\00:13:42.58
we should not take
advantage of, which I did in
00:13:42.74\00:13:45.14
the beginning of my
marriage. His trust and,
00:13:45.17\00:13:48.04
and his patient
nature, I used against him in
00:13:48.66\00:13:53.19
walking all over him
and doing as I pleased.
00:13:53.40\00:13:55.72
Well, and that could
be trusting as in this
00:13:56.37\00:13:57.34
virtuous woman
would not play the harlot
00:14:00.00\00:14:01.85
either. Right. He could
trust her in, in distance
00:14:01.99\00:14:06.28
wherever she might
be and he would be able
00:14:07.22\00:14:09.40
to trust her. Keeping
herself to him, for him.
00:14:09.51\00:14:12.00
Yes. I agree. And it
talks about him trusting her.
00:14:12.65\00:14:16.65
So, that he will hav
no lack of gain. And I'm
00:14:16.69\00:14:18.79
in verse 11. And that
made me think because,
00:14:18.82\00:14:24.32
how many times do we
as women feel justified
00:14:24.99\00:14:27.85
in going out and
spending money on
00:14:28.09\00:14:30.19
frivolous vanities that
don't really mean anything
00:14:30.41\00:14:32.83
or matter. It's not
really something we need,
00:14:32.93\00:14:35.98
it's something that
we want. And our husband
00:14:36.01\00:14:38.60
comes home and says,
you know, where is all
00:14:38.76\00:14:41.29
the money going. And
so it really made me take
00:14:41.32\00:14:45.22
a second look at my
spending in the home.
00:14:45.25\00:14:47.57
How am I spending
the money that he has
00:14:47.99\00:14:49.85
earned? That he is
earning. Which is not even
00:14:50.04\00:14:52.37
our own. We're
stewards of the money that God
00:14:52.62\00:14:55.24
give, gives us. So,
she does here in verse 12.
00:14:55.46\00:14:59.73
Good and not evil
all the days of her life.
00:15:00.09\00:15:02.40
It doesn't say, some
of the days of her life.
00:15:02.65\00:15:04.58
Right. And I know
that I have been guilty of
00:15:04.94\00:15:08.81
using the women cycle
as an excuse for being
00:15:09.02\00:15:12.31
grumpy or short with
my husband. And I think
00:15:12.53\00:15:16.77
that when it says, all
the days of her life it
00:15:16.82\00:15:18.84
means all the days.
It doesn't meant the days
00:15:19.00\00:15:21.93
when you're feeling less
than. Okay. Than beautiful
00:15:21.96\00:15:24.60
or when your hormones
are going crazy. Right.
00:15:24.95\00:15:29.10
That, that's an
excuse to be moody with your
00:15:29.68\00:15:32.73
husband, she seeks
wool and flax and willingly
00:15:32.94\00:15:35.68
works with her hands.
I think it's important
00:15:35.90\00:15:37.75
that we not be delicate
little butterflies that can't
00:15:38.08\00:15:40.48
get things for ourselves.
This would also I think
00:15:41.47\00:15:45.45
deal with, clearing up
the idea that you would
00:15:45.73\00:15:50.46
not be able to work.
Right. Yes. Especially,
00:15:50.69\00:15:53.36
if you didn't have
children most specially
00:15:53.53\00:15:55.08
then, then it would a
fine thing. And look at this
00:15:55.33\00:15:58.13
virtuous woman. She is
able to, yes. I think so
00:15:58.39\00:16:01.62
too. She is like the
merchant ships; she brings
00:16:01.78\00:16:04.78
her foods from, from
afar. I think, she is creative
00:16:04.91\00:16:07.91
in the kitchen. She
tries; she seeks out foods that
00:16:08.04\00:16:12.52
she knows would be
palatable and pleasing as
00:16:12.63\00:16:14.83
well as wholesome for
her husband and her family.
00:16:14.93\00:16:18.07
She also rises well to
see at night and provides
00:16:19.04\00:16:21.07
food for her
household. This is not your
00:16:21.23\00:16:23.83
stereotypical stay
at home mom, who runs
00:16:24.06\00:16:26.87
around all day in her
bathrobe and sits washing
00:16:27.03\00:16:30.49
soap operas and eating
bonbons. This is someone
00:16:30.70\00:16:32.88
who is, who is. What
are bonbons? I understand
00:16:33.04\00:16:36.95
though, it's just a
joke. I think that this is
00:16:36.98\00:16:39.91
somebody, who is on
top of the situation.
00:16:40.09\00:16:42.19
And she has a
schedule. It sounds like a lot
00:16:43.57\00:16:46.36
of hospitality too,
yes. If you're, many time
00:16:46.47\00:16:51.34
especially, if you're
a Christian woman and if
00:16:52.25\00:16:53.76
you have anything to
do with church leadership
00:16:53.80\00:16:55.96
or even of the needs in
the community. You might
00:16:56.19\00:17:00.41
have to do things
at uneasy hours or
00:17:00.55\00:17:03.87
inconvenient hours.
And that's what she sounds
00:17:04.26\00:17:07.06
like, she is able to
do. Yes. And not complaint
00:17:07.20\00:17:09.71
about it, yes,
being willing to do that.
00:17:09.91\00:17:12.44
A hospitable woman
and that is part of
00:17:13.09\00:17:14.72
humility being able
to serve others without
00:17:14.96\00:17:17.04
complaint. She
considers the field and buys it
00:17:17.41\00:17:20.57
from her profits.
She plans a vineyard.
00:17:21.00\00:17:22.91
This woman is
physically responsible and
00:17:23.15\00:17:25.61
knowledgeable. This
is not a woman who has
00:17:25.68\00:17:28.65
been kept in the
dark about money.
00:17:28.84\00:17:30.82
And probably was
taught somewhere, do you
00:17:31.10\00:17:32.79
suppose. I, I would
hope that her father taught
00:17:33.15\00:17:35.49
her. Would and be
the training, you see it
00:17:35.52\00:17:37.27
sounds like it would be
the training of Israel at
00:17:37.30\00:17:39.40
that time and I think
we read in other writers
00:17:39.58\00:17:43.26
about the history of
Israel that that all the
00:17:43.41\00:17:46.45
young men had to have
a trade, no matter what
00:17:46.60\00:17:48.58
their financial status
was, they had to have a
00:17:49.02\00:17:51.22
trade. And women were
taught to not necessarily
00:17:51.42\00:17:57.03
the same trades, but
were certainly capable of
00:17:57.06\00:17:59.85
thinking, they
were not ignorant women.
00:18:00.09\00:18:01.63
Yes, definitely not.
This is one of my favorite
00:18:01.76\00:18:05.19
parts. In verse 17, it
says, she girds herself with
00:18:05.47\00:18:07.81
strength and strengthens
her arms. I think this is
00:18:07.92\00:18:10.75
important as a wife
that we do our best to keep
00:18:10.92\00:18:13.31
ourselves in good
condition for our husbands.
00:18:13.47\00:18:16.04
So, they're not
tempted to look in other
00:18:16.97\00:18:19.25
directions. I think
that, in the same respect,
00:18:19.36\00:18:24.60
it's something that
God expects the men to do
00:18:24.86\00:18:27.31
for the wives. Right.
So, it certainly is not
00:18:27.34\00:18:29.51
just a one sided
thing. She perceives that her
00:18:29.65\00:18:32.87
merchandise is good.
So, in other words she has
00:18:33.23\00:18:35.65
a good, a wholesome
view point as far as
00:18:35.68\00:18:40.69
herself and her
abilities. She is not puffed u p
00:18:41.50\00:18:44.15
and proud and full of
vanity. She realizes her
00:18:44.22\00:18:47.45
place in the big,
scheme of things, right.
00:18:47.76\00:18:50.02
She stretches out her
hands to the distaff and
00:18:51.91\00:18:53.95
her hand holds the
spindle. She extends her
00:18:54.12\00:18:56.46
hand to the poor. Yes,
she reaches out her hands
00:18:56.56\00:18:59.31
to the needy. So,
this would go back to what
00:18:59.34\00:19:00.70
you were saying
about service to others.
00:19:00.76\00:19:02.34
Community service,
also I think in the New
00:19:02.71\00:19:06.11
Testament of
Dorcas, who provided so much
00:19:06.21\00:19:09.01
for her. Well, for
believers or unbelievers,
00:19:09.37\00:19:12.87
she provided much for
her community and when
00:19:13.07\00:19:14.73
she died everybody
wept. Yes. And missed her
00:19:14.76\00:19:16.93
and this sounds like she
has her what to the staff,
00:19:17.70\00:19:21.29
to the distaff. Her
hands. She weaving. Reaching
00:19:21.56\00:19:24.41
out there. So, it was
a woman who could do that
00:19:24.57\00:19:26.75
and it takes some
knowledge to be able to do
00:19:28.87\00:19:29.84
that. Sewing is
something that many have lost
00:19:29.85\00:19:32.64
the art of doing.
And that's something that
00:19:32.67\00:19:34.62
we've especially
wanted to teach our girls was
00:19:34.65\00:19:36.53
to teach them to be able
to sew. And the, you think
00:19:36.56\00:19:41.77
today that that's really
not necessary. But it is?
00:19:41.85\00:19:44.30
It, it helps one be more
confident about themselves
00:19:44.68\00:19:47.29
and you don't have
to just be out at the
00:19:47.94\00:19:51.97
designer shop, trying to
find something that costs
00:19:52.74\00:19:54.70
so much more. Sewing
is difficult today, price
00:19:54.73\00:19:58.05
wise too, yes, but it
still teaches an art, a skill.
00:19:58.26\00:20:02.26
It is, and it's, and
it's also a good way for young
00:20:02.41\00:20:04.38
ladies to learn
discipline. And that's true.
00:20:04.41\00:20:06.21
And how to follow
directions. That's true.
00:20:06.83\00:20:09.32
By piecing the patters
together. Certainly and I
00:20:09.70\00:20:12.35
think, it's very
important that Christian women,
00:20:12.54\00:20:15.86
there are so many
young women in our
00:20:17.28\00:20:18.97
church today who did
not have the guidance of
00:20:19.10\00:20:22.43
their mother, like they
needed. And I think that
00:20:22.62\00:20:25.66
as Christian women, we
should be aware of this
00:20:25.69\00:20:28.69
fact and be willing to
make ourselves available
00:20:28.96\00:20:33.24
as mentors to these
young ladies. And take
00:20:33.36\00:20:35.83
them into our
kitchens; invite them into our
00:20:35.92\00:20:37.76
homes. Right. Show
them how to cook? Yes,
00:20:37.80\00:20:40.42
show them, basic
skills. Yes, some of these
00:20:40.58\00:20:42.71
womanly arts that
they need to know in order
00:20:42.86\00:20:45.16
to serve their home.
Rather than just skate
00:20:45.19\00:20:48.22
by. Right, just
barely be able to open a can.
00:20:48.33\00:20:50.51
Right and boil an egg.
Right, I was told that as
00:20:50.66\00:20:54.11
long as I knew how to
boil an egg I would be
00:20:54.29\00:20:55.71
okay. She is not afraid
of snow for her household,
00:20:55.79\00:21:00.95
for all her household
is clothed with scarlet.
00:21:01.42\00:21:03.36
There is two fold
meaning here that I, that I
00:21:04.28\00:21:06.51
gather, scarlet was
one of the finer pieces of,
00:21:06.73\00:21:11.59
kinds of material back
then. So, her household
00:21:11.76\00:21:14.58
is not closed in
the cheapest unmended
00:21:14.83\00:21:18.78
clothing. Okay,
they're, they're dressed nicely
00:21:19.91\00:21:22.40
and look nice, but
not over done. And because
00:21:22.43\00:21:26.95
she is prepared for
the winter she doesn't need
00:21:26.98\00:21:29.57
to fear, right, for her
family. She makes tapestry
00:21:29.61\00:21:34.22
for herself. Her clothing
is fine linen and purple
00:21:34.26\00:21:36.95
again. She is dressed
well. Well, this is not a
00:21:37.45\00:21:39.92
frumpy woman. Right,
her husband is known in
00:21:40.10\00:21:43.78
the gates, when he
sits among the elders of the
00:21:43.81\00:21:45.80
land. How is he
known? And his wife. Yes,
00:21:45.94\00:21:50.05
they recognize that
this is a man, whose
00:21:51.50\00:21:53.93
confidence and
success is largely because of
00:21:54.59\00:21:56.93
the devotion of his
wife and her support for him.
00:21:56.96\00:22:00.65
That obviously has
it's emotional affect.
00:22:00.68\00:22:02.45
Yes, definitely does
and I've seen that in
00:22:03.01\00:22:05.63
my husband and I'm
still, the Lord is still working
00:22:05.90\00:22:08.60
on me I'm not
perfect in a supportive role,
00:22:08.70\00:22:12.76
but I'm trying and
that's what we want to challenge
00:22:13.07\00:22:15.85
other women today.
That's right. Try to
00:22:16.46\00:22:19.81
support him, the
way God would have you.
00:22:20.21\00:22:21.66
That's right. Strengthen
and honor her clothing,
00:22:22.29\00:22:25.13
she wrote, she shall
rejoice in time to come.
00:22:25.42\00:22:27.74
She opens her
mouth with wisdom and on
00:22:28.40\00:22:30.56
her tongue is
the law of kindness.
00:22:30.59\00:22:32.75
Now, this is
something that could be dwelt on
00:22:34.02\00:22:35.49
a long time. Yes, it
could. This could touch on
00:22:35.57\00:22:37.91
to the possibility
of home schooling her
00:22:37.94\00:22:40.13
children or she a
teacher for her, for her family.
00:22:40.35\00:22:44.54
This is not a woman who
is ignorant. She is well
00:22:45.23\00:22:48.02
read and she knows
what she is talking about,
00:22:48.19\00:22:50.95
when she speaks.
Right. This is not a woman who
00:22:51.20\00:22:53.52
is spending her time in
idle chit chat and gossip.
00:22:53.89\00:22:58.58
But the kindness too.
Therefore no, no cutting
00:22:58.89\00:23:02.08
words, right, right,
yeah. And I have been guilty so
00:23:02.35\00:23:06.16
many times of in
anger or frustration saying,
00:23:06.29\00:23:10.13
the cutting words.
We've all sinned in this area
00:23:10.40\00:23:13.06
I'm sure, yes, all
of us, male or female.
00:23:13.09\00:23:14.79
Yes, and it does, it
does not have the affects that
00:23:15.27\00:23:19.70
we want on our
family. She watches over the
00:23:19.96\00:23:22.43
ways of her household
and does not eat the bread
00:23:22.68\00:23:24.32
of idleness. Her
children rise up and caught her
00:23:24.46\00:23:27.03
blessed. Her husband
also and he praises her.
00:23:27.06\00:23:30.29
I think that is important
here for us to understand
00:23:31.29\00:23:35.20
that women, who are
in this role need to hear
00:23:35.36\00:23:39.83
that they're
doing a good job. Right.
00:23:40.16\00:23:41.96
That they're supported
and they're affirmed in
00:23:42.19\00:23:44.65
their home ministry.
And many times I think one
00:23:44.68\00:23:48.49
of the reasons why women
don't like to be at home?
00:23:48.52\00:23:50.93
One of the reasons.
Would be that they feel
00:23:51.83\00:23:54.89
very unappreciated. Yes.
You know since they feel,
00:23:54.92\00:23:58.71
that's no significant
thing that they're doing there,
00:23:58.99\00:24:01.87
but it's most important.
Yes. Especially, if they
00:24:02.21\00:24:05.00
have children. A well
ordered home that speaks
00:24:05.03\00:24:08.19
more than thousand
sermons. Right. So your
00:24:08.29\00:24:10.30
community and those
who come in and visit in
00:24:10.33\00:24:12.64
your home. So, it's
certainly important and
00:24:12.67\00:24:16.18
for those mothers in
the church, who are older,
00:24:16.89\00:24:18.70
whose children are
grown. And they have walked
00:24:18.86\00:24:22.33
the whole length of
motherhood. Be encouraging
00:24:22.66\00:24:26.01
to those of us who are
still in the middle of it.
00:24:26.34\00:24:28.36
And sometimes can't
see the light at the end of
00:24:28.84\00:24:31.16
the tunnel and, and see
that this our efforts can be
00:24:31.19\00:24:34.07
fruitful and we can
be successful and have
00:24:34.31\00:24:37.35
children who grow
up to love the Lord.
00:24:37.54\00:24:39.91
Right. Many daughters
have done well, but she
00:24:39.94\00:24:43.36
excel them all. And, and
before that I want to read
00:24:43.59\00:24:46.37
verse 28. Yes, her
children rise up and call
00:24:46.53\00:24:49.72
blessed, her husband
also and he praises her.
00:24:49.75\00:24:52.00
Many daughters have
done well, but you excel
00:24:52.59\00:24:54.67
them all. Charm is
deceitful and beauty is
00:24:54.70\00:24:57.54
passing, but a woman who
fears the Lord, she shall
00:24:57.82\00:25:00.60
be praised. Give her of
the fruit of her hands and
00:25:00.63\00:25:04.28
let her own works
praise her in the gates. What a
00:25:04.47\00:25:06.64
beautiful description,
right, of Godly womanhood.
00:25:06.81\00:25:10.27
And it's so much
different then what the
00:25:10.68\00:25:13.07
world would have us to
do today. Right, it is,
00:25:13.34\00:25:14.97
but it's God's plan,
isn't it? Yes. It would be
00:25:15.99\00:25:19.35
God's plan. Going
through that, thank you for
00:25:19.90\00:25:21.28
going through that, I like that.
00:25:21.48\00:25:22.45
We can learn some
things about her husband
00:25:23.21\00:25:25.62
as well. Usually we
address the Godly women
00:25:25.74\00:25:29.10
in proverbs, but what
can we learn about her
00:25:29.13\00:25:31.22
husband through what
we've read and I think
00:25:31.39\00:25:35.04
that certainly this
is not a man, who hoards
00:25:35.47\00:25:40.08
his money to himself.
He's trusting her and so
00:25:40.15\00:25:43.53
he gives her, he allows
her to have some choices
00:25:43.56\00:25:46.47
and how the money is,
is used. And he certainly
00:25:46.70\00:25:50.70
doesn't sound like a
tyrant. He seems to be
00:25:50.95\00:25:55.74
a sensitive man. And
would recognize that she
00:25:56.06\00:25:58.37
has the ability to
make choices in these area
00:25:58.40\00:26:00.85
you know. Right, so
it's good for us to clear up
00:26:01.68\00:26:04.74
all of those things,
yes because I'm sure people
00:26:04.77\00:26:06.79
have those questions
out there. Yes, do they
00:26:06.99\00:26:09.37
definitely do? I just
wanted to read something
00:26:09.52\00:26:12.21
else from the Adventist
home and this by the way
00:26:12.24\00:26:14.04
is such a beautiful
book. And it really helps
00:26:14.19\00:26:16.58
my husband in
forming the kind of home that
00:26:16.77\00:26:18.98
God would have us.
Right, to dwell in and
00:26:19.17\00:26:23.62
Adventist home, page
116 and 117. Entire, Oh!
00:26:24.69\00:26:29.23
I've read that, 117 but
it was not the design of God
00:26:29.35\00:26:34.78
that the husband
should have control as head of
00:26:34.81\00:26:36.50
the house, when he
himself does not submit
00:26:36.53\00:26:38.59
to Christ. He must be
under the rule of Christ
00:26:38.85\00:26:41.78
that he may represent
the relation of Christ to
00:26:41.81\00:26:43.87
the church. If he is of
course rough boisterous,
00:26:43.90\00:26:47.22
egotistical, harsh and
overbearing man, let him
00:26:47.64\00:26:50.25
never utter the word
that the husband is the head
00:26:50.39\00:26:52.42
of the wife and that
she must submit to him
00:26:52.45\00:26:54.72
in everything. For he
is not the Lord and he is
00:26:54.77\00:26:57.72
not the husband in the
true significance of the
00:26:57.75\00:27:00.21
term. And it says, let
every husband and father
00:27:00.40\00:27:04.09
study to understand the
words of Christ. Not in a
00:27:04.38\00:27:06.85
one sided manner
merely dwelling upon the
00:27:06.96\00:27:08.95
subjection of the wife
to her husband but in the
00:27:09.12\00:27:11.50
light of the Cross of
Calvary. Study as to his
00:27:11.53\00:27:14.93
own position in the
family circle. Husbands love
00:27:15.09\00:27:17.49
your wives even as
Christ also loved the
00:27:17.52\00:27:19.38
church and gave
himself for it, that he
00:27:19.41\00:27:21.40
might sanctify and
cleanse it with the
00:27:21.55\00:27:23.03
washing of water by word. Right.
00:27:23.14\00:27:25.18
And it's so important
that both the husband and
00:27:25.74\00:27:27.98
the wife are making
these efforts to better the
00:27:28.01\00:27:30.36
home. It certainly is.
Paula, our time is running
00:27:30.57\00:27:33.45
out. There are other
things that we could cover
00:27:33.62\00:27:35.18
I know, but why don't we
just pray for our viewers
00:27:35.21\00:27:38.13
and then just, just
hold them up to the Lord that
00:27:39.19\00:27:44.31
they will see this for
what it is for their homes,
00:27:44.47\00:27:46.74
yes. Can we do that?
Yes. And we want you,
00:27:46.77\00:27:48.72
if you will remember to
join us again on Thinking
00:27:49.48\00:27:52.61
about Home. Let's just
go ahead. Father in heaven,
00:27:52.64\00:27:55.91
as the people watch
these programs, I pray
00:27:56.37\00:27:58.86
that they will
incorporate all of this.
00:27:59.37\00:28:01.97