Participants:
Series Code: SSP
Program Code: SSP190023A
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00:01 The Bible tells us, "In the beginning was the Word,
00:04 and the Word was with God, and the Word was God." 00:08 It says to, 00:09 "Receive with meekness the implanted Word, 00:12 which is able to save your souls 00:14 and to be diligent to present yourself 00:17 approved to God, 00:18 rightly dividing the Word of truth." 00:21 Join us now for the 3ABN Sabbath School Panel. 00:25 Our study today is Family Seasons. 00:33 Hello, I'm Shelley Quinn, and here we are again. 00:36 We are so excited that you are joining us 00:39 as we open the Word of God and we study... 00:42 This is actually lesson 10 00:44 in our Sabbath School quarterly, 00:47 and it is, Family Seasons is the general topic. 00:52 We will talk this lesson 00:56 about "Little Times of Trouble," 01:00 and we all have seen them. 01:02 So what we want to encourage you to do, 01:05 even though we're already through lesson 10, 01:08 if you don't have a Sabbath School quarterly, 01:11 we encourage you to drop 01:12 by your local Seventh-day Adventist Church. 01:15 They'll be happy to give you one 01:16 and even invite you to join with them 01:19 or you can go on the internet 01:21 and download the copy of this for your own personal study, 01:26 just go to ABSG.Adventist.org. 01:33 So thank you so much for joining us again. 01:35 And I believe that we know that 01:38 we all in the panel learn from each other in each lesson. 01:42 And it always inspires us 01:44 and I believe you'll be inspired as well. 01:46 Let me introduce our panel. 01:49 We have with us Pastor Ryan Day. 01:50 Amen. 01:52 And with your wonderful smile and you're... 01:54 I'm excited to be here. 01:55 An excellent Bible teacher, so glad. 01:56 Amen. Thank you. 01:58 I'm gonna say that just ditto, ditto, ditto, 01:59 we have excellent Bible teachers. 02:01 Thank you for being here. 02:03 Pastor Kenny Shelton, love having you with us. 02:06 Thank you. 02:07 And my dear sister and precious friend, 02:10 Jill Morikone. 02:11 Privileged to be here. 02:13 And then we have returning Pastor Tom Ferguson 02:16 from the Marion district. 02:18 And so we're so glad each and every one of you are here. 02:20 Amen. Hello. 02:22 Tom, since you haven't been with us all that often, 02:24 how would you like to open in prayer? 02:25 Amen, amen. Sure. 02:27 Heavenly Father, 02:28 thank You for the privilege of opening Your Word 02:31 and hearing from You. 02:33 So we invite Your Holy Spirit to guide this lesson 02:36 for Your Word to teach us 02:37 the things that we need to glean. 02:39 So that we can embrace those things 02:41 and take them with us through life 02:43 and inspire those things that are thought said and done. 02:47 We pray in Jesus' name, amen. 02:48 Amen. Amen! 02:50 Amen. Okay. 02:51 Little times of trouble. 02:54 You know, the best of homes face little times of trouble, 02:58 don't we? 02:59 Some troubles are minor, 03:02 and we can get through them fairly quickly. 03:04 But some can have life changing consequences, 03:07 they can destroy a family. 03:09 So what we're going to do in this lesson 03:11 is look at some ways that we can quell 03:15 or calm those troubles. 03:17 Our memory text 03:19 is from Ephesians 4:26. 03:26 I'll read from the New King James Version. 03:28 Ephesians 4, says, "Be angry and do not sin,' 03:31 do not let the sun go down on your wrath.' 03:35 " Anger is divisive, if handled improperly. 03:40 The devil uses anger to destroy relationships. 03:43 And if we bottle up our anger, what happens? 03:46 We can become bitter. 03:47 But if we vent anger thoughtlessly, 03:51 we can hurt others. 03:54 Proverbs 17:14, it says, "The start of an argument..." 03:58 This is the Contemporary English Version, 04:01 "The start of an argument is like a water leak, 04:04 so stop it before real trouble breaks out." 04:08 So what we need to do is learn 04:10 how to resolve and reconcile 04:13 our differences. 04:15 You know, our lesson points out 04:18 that the New Testament tells us, 04:19 love one another, 04:21 live in harmony with each other. 04:23 Be patient, kind and tenderhearted 04:26 toward each other. 04:27 Consider others before ourselves 04:29 and bear one another's burdens. 04:32 Boy, in the heat of emotion 04:34 that can be easier said than done. 04:36 So let's look at Sunday's lesson, 04:39 "Conflict," and if I have time, 04:41 I would like to take you through 04:43 why conflict happens, 04:45 the goal of conflict resolution, 04:48 what to avoid in conflict, how to achieve resolution, 04:52 and then how to make a plan and work the plan. 04:55 So why does conflict happen? 04:57 Family relationships are dynamic. 05:00 They're always evolving. 05:01 They never are static and stay the same. 05:05 So what I see is that not all family members 05:09 agree on everything all the time, do they? 05:11 There's actually three P's of conflict, 05:15 perception, personalities and personal goals. 05:19 Sometimes we have conflicting perceptions, 05:22 we see things differently, and we had different motives, 05:26 or ideas, or desires, 05:28 but then there's different personalities. 05:31 And you know, sometimes there's some negative emotions 05:35 in our interpersonal relationships 05:37 when you have different personalities. 05:39 And there's often among different personalities, 05:43 differing opinions, 05:44 how to approach a related task, 05:47 then there is the frustration of personal goals. 05:53 Maybe those goals could be compatible 05:56 with the family unit or they may not be compatible 05:59 with the family unit. 06:00 And when you think about this, 06:02 anybody that's got this me first attitude, 06:04 I want this, I want that. 06:07 When we put our wishes, as Christians we put our wishes 06:10 before another's, 06:12 then we're not following the Word of God. 06:15 Lack of communication, so almost always 06:18 what's causing a conflict. 06:20 So when conflicts arise, we just have to say, "Yep," 06:24 it's just because we're different. 06:27 This is normal. 06:28 If we mismanage it, 06:30 we are going to damage our relationship. 06:33 But when you manage it properly, 06:36 it's actually a growth, an opportunity for growth 06:40 where you can get to understand each other better. 06:43 So what is number one? 06:46 The goal of conflict resolution, 06:49 the top priority. 06:51 The goal should be not only to maintain, 06:57 but to strengthen the relationship. 07:00 This is true even at work, you can use these principles. 07:04 It's not about winning the argument. 07:07 It's not about who's right, who's wrong. 07:10 It's about what's right and what's wrong. 07:13 So let's look at Romans 14:19. 07:19 It says, "Therefore," Paul writes, 07:22 Romans 14:19, 07:23 "let us pursue the things which make for peace, 07:28 and the things by which one may edify another." 07:33 So if you're trying to achieve peace, 07:35 this means you're gonna achieve harmony, right? 07:37 Right. 07:38 And you have to have a willingness 07:41 to forgive and forget. 07:42 Oh, that's critical, because resolving 07:45 and conflict is impossible, if you're unwilling to forgive. 07:51 You know, we have to release this urge 07:54 or this desire to mete out punishment, right? 07:58 So resolution, according to the Bible 08:02 should support the interests of all parties. 08:05 It's not just what you want or what the other wants. 08:08 It means you have to recognize what's important to others. 08:12 Philippians 2:4, says, "Let each of you look out 08:18 not only for his own interest, 08:22 but also for the interests of others." 08:26 That's right. Amen. 08:28 If I could tell parents, any one thing 08:31 about today's lesson is we need to not only model, 08:36 but we need to teach our children 08:41 how to effectively resolve conflict, 08:46 and they're going to first see what we do. 08:49 But if you want them to be successful in life, 08:51 I have seen throughout my career in Corporate America, 08:57 and then when coming into ministry, 09:00 what I have found is the greatest downfall 09:03 for most people is when they cannot, 09:06 they don't know how to resolve conflict. 09:08 They don't get promoted. Right. 09:10 They don't get chosen. 09:12 And a lot of times you see them going 09:13 from job to job. 09:15 So what to avoid in a conflict? 09:17 Conflict often triggers some pretty strong emotions, 09:22 we get angry, 09:23 and it can lead to hurt feelings 09:26 and disappointments. 09:27 So avoid, as I said, avoid the issue 09:30 of who's right and wrong. 09:31 That doesn't matter, 09:33 you're not trying to win an argument. 09:34 It's what's right, what's wrong. 09:37 Avoid accusation, shaming, rejection, isolation, 09:42 disrespectful words and actions. 09:45 Even your body language, you have to avoid 09:49 the sigh or the rolling of the eyes 09:52 when someone tells you something. 09:54 Don't be aggressive or hostile, or demeaning or condescending. 09:58 Romans 12:17, says, 10:01 "Do not repay evil for evil. 10:04 Be careful to do 10:06 what is right in the eyes of everybody. 10:09 If it is possible, as far as it depends 10:13 on you live at peace with everyone." 10:16 That's right. 10:18 It's not always possible, 10:19 but as far as possible we should. 10:21 Another thing is do not stockpile. 10:25 Some people will hold on to this grudge 10:29 and hold on to this grudge. 10:30 And then comes the time when there's a break in the dam 10:34 and it all comes loose, right? 10:37 So what you have to do is focus on the present, 10:42 handle one issue at a time. 10:44 And please don't generalize. 10:46 When you're talking to somebody, 10:48 don't say, "Well, you always do this 10:50 or you never do that." 10:52 Usually we're incorrect when we say that, 10:55 but it makes the other person feel 10:57 attacked and isolated, 10:59 and they don't really want to talk with you. 11:02 Avoid clamming up. 11:05 You know, women don't realize, and I'm gonna say this 11:08 cause women do this more often than men. 11:10 I hear men say, 11:11 "My wife's giving me the silent treatment." 11:14 That is a form of manipulation. 11:16 And it is not a very smart form of manipulation. 11:20 So don't clam up. 11:21 Don't be ambiguous. 11:24 That would be me. 11:26 I will go around, you know, I hate to state what I need. 11:30 I feel selfish when I do that. 11:32 I mean, I just was brought up to feel like it's wrong. 11:36 So sometimes I kind of go around, 11:40 and you know what? 11:41 I've learned, JD can't read my mind. 11:43 You have to be clear 11:46 for an open and direct. 11:51 It has to be a two way communication 11:53 for positive results. 11:55 Don't raise your voice. 11:57 All this does is escalates, escalate the situation. 12:02 You see someone who's talking loudly, 12:04 you talk a little louder, then a little louder, 12:06 little louder, pretty soon everybody shouting each other. 12:08 Proverbs 15:1, says, 12:11 "A soft answer turns away wrath, 12:14 but a harsh word stirs up anger." 12:17 So that should be part of your ground rules 12:20 when you sit down and say, 12:21 "Okay, we're gonna talk about this calmly. 12:24 And we're going to use our words, 12:26 not actions to discuss this." 12:28 And pick your battles. 12:30 You know, when I first got married, 12:33 I had this thing, a system. 12:36 And this sounds a little bit obsessive compulsive almost, 12:40 but I had a system. 12:42 I prayed about it with the Lord. 12:43 And I said, "Okay, Lord, 12:45 from 1 to 100 is my rating system, 12:49 and munless something is 85 or above, 12:52 I'm not gonna argue about it. 12:54 I would take it to the Lord. 12:56 There were so many times, I can't tell you, 12:58 where I felt like a situation was right there at 85, 13:02 and I just see thee 13:03 and I go take it to the Lord in prayer. 13:05 Guess what? 13:06 Within 24-48 hours, it was all cleared up. 13:10 Now, so do pick your battles. 13:13 If it's not important, don't be arguing over it. 13:17 Oh, I got so much, so let me get to 13:18 how to achieve resolution. 13:22 Pray for God's guidance before you even start talking. 13:26 And remember that you've got to own your own part in this, 13:31 you know, as Matthew 7:3, 13:33 "Why do you worry about the speck in your eye?" 13:36 In the other's eye 13:37 when you've got a log in your own. 13:38 Jesus said, "You hypocrite, 13:40 get rid of your own speck first." 13:42 You get the other person's attention. 13:44 Affirm your relationship. 13:47 Pray to control your emotions. 13:49 If a calm voice can't be maintained, 13:51 timeout, express your concern, 13:54 identify the problem, confront the problem openly. 13:58 If you're upset, don't use, 14:01 I mean, don't use you statements, 14:04 use I statements. 14:05 When such and such happens, it makes me feel like I. 14:09 If the other person is upset, 14:11 the best way to do this 14:12 is to sit down with them and say, 14:15 "I really want to understand why you're upset. 14:18 Could you help me understand?" 14:20 And I've got so much more good stuff 14:22 to share with you and I'm all out of time, Ryan? 14:26 Well, it was a good stuff. 14:27 Good stuff, indeed. 14:29 So when we're talking about little times of trouble, 14:32 we know that in a marriage, 14:34 you can experience little times of trouble. 14:38 Monday's lesson is entitled, "Some Principles for Marriage." 14:42 And that's exactly what I'm gonna be sharing now. 14:44 And I like to share biblical principles. 14:46 As I always say, man's opinions, 14:49 man's theories will fail all day long, 14:51 but the Word of God never fails. 14:54 And so I just wanna start by saying, 14:56 we know that God gave humanity the gift of marriage, 15:01 much like the Sabbath at creation, 15:03 so that we know that those two principles 15:05 were established there, 15:06 and God meant for those to carry out 15:09 until the end. 15:11 Both of these incredible gifts have 15:14 and are still being attacked by the enemy. 15:17 And that's why we're having this conversation 15:18 because the devil is trying to take the gifts 15:21 and the wonderful realities that God set in place, 15:23 and he's trying to pervert them, 15:24 he's trying to manipulate, and skew, and distort 15:29 that which God has set in place. 15:31 But there are ways to avoid this. 15:33 Of course, this is a temptation and we can overcome temptation, 15:36 and we can have victory through Christ. 15:38 In the world we live in today, there can arise conflict 15:41 from time to time within marriage 15:43 that can easily be met with some biblical principles 15:46 to help us work through these issues. 15:48 That's exactly what I would like 15:49 to share with you at this moment. 15:51 In fact, I want to start with a very general simple, 15:54 but very profound text when you think of it 15:56 in the sense of conflict in marriage 15:58 and that is Romans 3:23, most of us can just quote it 16:03 from right off the top of our heads, 16:04 but we first have to get something, 16:06 we first need to just show up and just kind of address 16:09 the elephant in the room and that is... 16:11 All have sinned. 16:13 "For all have sinned..." 16:15 Romans 3:23. 16:16 "For all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God." 16:20 Whether you would like to admit it or not, 16:22 you married a sinner. 16:25 You yourself are a sinner, of course, we all are sinners. 16:28 You both have been damaged to some degree, emotionally, 16:31 physically and spiritually, that is just the truth. 16:34 But you learn to love your spouse 16:36 the way Jesus loves him or her, okay? 16:39 And then I think that's the most important thing 16:41 is that we all are sinners, 16:42 but when we come to the forefront 16:44 and we understand, and we grasp the thought that, 16:46 you know, this is really all about the love of God. 16:49 And once the love of God has made manifest in our life, 16:53 incredible things can happen. 16:55 The Lord can do wonderful works. 16:57 Ephesians 1:7, it's another great text 17:01 that I think will provide a healthy principle 17:04 to work through conflict in marriage. 17:07 So notice, it says, 17:08 "In Him we have redemption through His blood, 17:13 and the forgiveness of sins, 17:15 according to the riches of His grace." 17:19 How many of us on this panel and, of course, at home, 17:22 can raise your hand and say, "I've been forgiven." 17:26 So both hands, yes. 17:27 Forgiving is such an amazing gift. 17:30 And that's the thing, 17:31 forgiveness must become a reality in every marriage. 17:33 That's right. It's good. 17:35 You know, I haven't, in comparison to some, 17:37 I haven't been married as long as others, 17:39 but my wife and I are going on nine years of marriage. 17:42 And if there's anything that I have learned is that 17:44 you know what, we're not perfect. 17:46 We're striving for that perfection in Christ. 17:48 We're striving to be better people 17:50 each and every day, 17:51 but there's times that we fall, there's times we make mistakes, 17:54 and sometimes it's easy 17:55 that when your spouse makes a mistake 17:57 that you think is a detrimental mistake 17:59 either to the marriage or to the situation 18:01 or whatever the case may be, 18:02 it's easy to point the finger and go as Christ says, 18:05 picking out the speck in their eye 18:07 when you need to return 18:08 and look at the plank in your own, 18:10 we need to learn to forgive and forgiveness 18:12 is a foundational element of marriage. 18:15 We must forgive especially when you think of your spouse, 18:19 your spouse in this way, you know, 18:20 some people think that 18:22 either they don't deserve forgiveness, 18:24 but neither do you. 18:25 And Christ still forgives. 18:27 So when you think of your spouse, 18:29 and you think that they may not even deserve it, 18:31 you know, forgive the way that Jesus forgives. 18:34 That's always a great principle. 18:36 I'm not worthy of the forgiveness 18:37 that Christ has provided and put upon myself, 18:41 you know, that's just a blessing beyond measure. 18:44 And when I receive that forgiveness, 18:46 and I contemplate that, it humbles me, 18:49 and it helps me to look at it 18:51 in a completely different light. 18:52 I don't deserve forgiveness. 18:54 And, you know, we truly don't, but yet it's there 18:56 because of the love of God. 18:58 And I think that should be established 18:59 in marriage as well. 19:01 Here's another great text that I love, 19:03 I think really opens up 19:05 the love of Christ on all levels. 19:08 Philippians Chapter 2, and you were just reading. 19:10 Some of these texts are gonna kind of overlap 19:12 between mine and Shelley's and that's okay. 19:14 Philippians Chapter 2, I'm gonna begin with verse 4. 19:17 Many people would dive right into verse 5, 19:19 but I think verse 4 goes right along with it. 19:22 "But let each of you look out not only for his own interest, 19:27 but also for the interests of others." 19:29 I just want to pause there and say, 19:31 you know, if anyone has entered a relationship, 19:36 and you are looking out for your own interest, 19:38 that is a recipe for disaster. 19:40 Because when you come together, 19:42 and you know, as the Bible says, 19:44 those two become one flesh, it's no longer just about you, 19:47 it's about that other person as well. 19:49 Bible goes on to say, verse 5, 19:50 "Let this mind be in you which is also in Christ Jesus." 19:54 What better marriage example than that of the relationship 19:58 between Christ and the church? 19:59 And we're gonna see that 20:00 in just a few moments in a text. 20:02 "Who being in the form of God," again this is Christ, 20:04 "who being in the form of God 20:06 did not consider it robbery to be equal with God, 20:08 but made Himself of no reputation, 20:11 taking on the form of a bondservant, 20:14 and coming in the likeness of men. 20:17 And being found in appearance as a man, 20:19 He," notice this "humbled Himself 20:22 and became obedient to the point of death, 20:24 even the death of the cross." 20:25 He made himself a servant. 20:27 You know, I find it a privilege more and more every day 20:30 I fall more and more in love with my wife. 20:33 Do we have arguments? 20:35 Yes. 20:36 Does she say things and do things sometimes 20:38 and I'm just like, you know, I wanna... 20:41 Of course but you know those moments help you grow, 20:44 you learn patience, you learn forgiveness, 20:46 and you know, and I'm sure I do, 20:48 I know I do things 20:49 and I say things that irritates her. 20:50 And you know, 20:52 sometimes it brings up conflict. 20:53 Sometimes we'll have a little argument 20:55 but you know, it never turns into a ridiculous fight. 20:58 Something that you're gonna say 21:00 or do that the others gonna regret it 21:01 that yourself is gonna regret. 21:03 I just praise the Lord for the fact that, 21:04 you know when Christ is in the middle 21:07 of that marriage, and that's really the key, 21:09 a marriage or relationship, 21:11 any relationship that doesn't have Christ in the center, 21:13 it's a recipe for disaster. 21:15 It's going to fail. 21:17 Christ became a servant. 21:19 And I take privilege and honor 21:20 and I praise the Lord that I can serve my wife 21:23 any given chance that I can... 21:24 Amen. 21:25 Because she is my love, and I certainly appreciate her. 21:28 You know, and when you read this text, 21:30 you know, I think to myself what an unselfish love. 21:33 What an unselfish love 21:35 that Jesus has bestowed upon us. 21:38 And then He has given an example for us to follow, 21:42 Ephesians Chapter 5, 21:43 I had little time but I wanna go through this. 21:45 Ephesians 5:22-33, 21:48 and I'm not gonna read all of this, 21:50 but this is that famous text, famous passage 21:53 that some people like to avoid. 21:54 But, you know, it is true that we need 21:56 to follow the principles given to us in scripture. 21:58 Amen. 22:00 Verse 22, "Wives submit to your own husbands, 22:03 as to the Lord. 22:04 For the husband is the head of the wife, 22:06 as also Christ is the head of the church." 22:08 Now, what is it saying here? 22:12 I'll tell you what it's not saying. 22:13 Submit does not mean under control or slave too. 22:18 And I'll tell you some people, 22:19 they have that negative connotation or correlation 22:22 with those type of words 22:23 because of what they've been raised in, 22:25 there had been men... 22:26 And, you know, 22:28 we need to pray for these type of people. 22:30 There have been men that have misused and abused 22:32 the concept of being the head of the wife 22:34 or the wife submitting to the husband, 22:36 and that breaks my heart because, again, 22:38 you're never going to gain your wife's trust. 22:41 You're never going to gain your spouse's trust 22:44 by trying to control or cause them to be, 22:47 you know, subservient or below you in any way. 22:50 You know, day and age that we're living in culture 22:55 has manipulated this principle. 22:57 And we need to set the biblical principles back in order 23:01 the way God wanted them to be. 23:02 I also love this, husbands and you can't leave this out. 23:06 This is verse 25. 23:07 "Love your wives 23:09 just as Christ also loved the church." 23:11 The husbands have an equal responsibility. 23:13 And I'm gonna say this, 23:14 I don't believe this is adding or taking away to the Word 23:16 because I believe the principle is established clearly 23:19 throughout scripture, you know, 23:21 the wives are to submit to the husbands 23:23 but you know, I find myself in my marriage many times, 23:26 not in a weaker sense, but in a stronger sense, 23:28 submitting to my wife. 23:30 Because she's my equal, she is, she's my partner, 23:33 and in any way, she has no problem 23:35 and I praise the Lord for this, of submitting to me 23:38 in a righteous biblical way of recognizing that, 23:41 you know, I have been set in the home 23:43 as the religious leader and she follows it in that, 23:46 and I praise the Lord for that. 23:48 But I also find myself submitting to her 23:50 because I recognize in many aspects, 23:52 she is the champion 23:53 and I'm kind of in second place, 23:56 you know, and I recognize that. 23:58 You know, considering, you know, this really quickly, 24:00 I don't have very much time. 24:02 But, you know, my wife and I were completely opposite. 24:04 I know some of you haven't seen my wife, 24:06 but, you know, I'm a big guy, you know, 24:07 and she's, you know, 4'11", 90 pounds soaking wet. 24:11 You know, we're very opposite. 24:13 I'm big, she's little, you know, I say, 24:15 she's smart and I'm dumb, and that's really the truth. 24:17 She's really, really intelligent. 24:19 She's very organized, I tend to misplace things, 24:22 that we're so opposites in every sense of the word, 24:26 but because Christ is in it. 24:28 When conflict arises, 24:29 when something happens in our marriage, 24:31 we come together in love 24:33 and we allow Christ to take us forward. 24:36 And that's my prayer for each and one of you. 24:38 Amen. Thank you, Brother Ryan. 24:40 Good advice. 24:42 And we want you to stay tuned cause there's much more 24:45 excellent stuff coming up. 24:47 We'll be back in just a second. 24:53 Ever wish you could watch 24:55 a 3ABN Sabbath School Panel again, 24:57 or share it on Facebook, 24:58 Instagram or Twitter? 25:00 Well, you can by visiting 3abnsabbathschoolpanel.com. 25:05 A clean design makes it easy to find the program 25:08 you're looking for. 25:10 There are also links to the Adult Bible Study Guide 25:13 so you can follow along. 25:15 Sharing is easy. 25:16 Just click share and choose your favorite social media. 25:19 Share a link, save a life for eternity. 25:25 We're back to continue our study, 25:27 "The Little Times of Trouble," 25:29 and we're going to turn it over to Pastor Kenny Shelton. 25:32 Okay, you know, this is interesting subject, 25:34 the role of anger and conflict. 25:37 And, you know, it's kind of indicating 25:39 that there may be a time 25:42 that there may be some anger. 25:43 But what do we do with that anger? 25:45 I think good information been brought up so far, 25:48 so good. 25:49 It's been a real blessing. 25:50 But, you know, to me, as I start out, 25:52 who hasn't really who, any of us here has 25:54 not really ever experienced anger? 25:57 You know, 25:58 I raised my hand, I say, I have. 26:00 Me too. Yes. 26:01 You know, because there's... Every one of us have. 26:03 Things have happened, yeah, with it, you know, 26:04 but how about when it happens like in the family? 26:07 And then what about if they're not really willing to forgive 26:10 or willing to, you know, put it behind them? 26:14 What if we're willing to unforgive? 26:15 To me, it's just like, it's like a poison. 26:18 You know, 26:19 because it just gets worse and it deepens, 26:21 if we don't handle, in fact, some of you mentioned, 26:22 if we don't handle and take care of it 26:24 rather quickly, it'll fester up 26:25 and it'll get a whole lot worse than it was before. 26:28 Slow poison causes pain. 26:30 It causes suffering in the family. 26:32 And it could cause someone even losing their life. 26:35 We see a lot of that people 26:37 just driving on the highway innocently in road rage 26:39 and whatever it is, 26:40 that little difference of opinion, 26:41 whatever, whose lane it might be, 26:43 or whatever, and it can really cost you 26:45 in this world that we live in. 26:47 Not only cost us here, 26:48 but it can cost us in the world to come. 26:50 You know, does the role of anger, 26:53 how does it really fit in? 26:54 How do we deal with it when it hits? 26:57 And it is going to hit for sure. 26:59 There's no doubt about it. 27:01 And I found this out, 27:02 anger can stem from a lot of different things. 27:05 And I think probably the way that we were raised, 27:08 I don't know if any, way we were raised in the home, 27:11 the way mom and dad handled it, 27:14 the way our friends that we were around, 27:17 maybe the ones we had played sports with. 27:20 How are they handled, it was something 27:21 that influenced our minds 27:23 the way maybe we were thought, 27:24 well, this is way we handle anger. 27:26 But jealousy, 27:28 jealousy can cause a lot of anger 27:30 and a lot of problems in the home 27:32 and that happens a lot of times, 27:33 if you have maybe a bigger family, 27:35 one's a little more jealous of others 27:36 when one got all the gifts and all the abilities 27:38 and all the talents 27:39 and some of us were left out, you know. 27:41 But 1 Peter 3:11, 27:43 why don't you just really jot down, 27:44 I move quickly. 27:46 1 Peter 3:11, tells us, 27:47 that "We are to defeat evil with good." 27:50 That's one way we can start, you know, 27:52 little battle back here is we defeat evil with what? 27:55 With good. 27:57 And I like Proverbs, I think someone mentioned, 27:59 15:1, always like to say a kind answer, 28:02 but I think Bible says soft answer, doesn't it? 28:04 A soft answer turneth away, what? 28:06 Wrath. 28:08 And if any of you, if you've not experienced that, 28:10 you don't know what I'm talking about, 28:11 I've experienced it. 28:13 So I'm gonna give you little aggravated about something 28:15 and someone just speaks a kind word, it's like, 28:18 "Okay, I got it." 28:19 All right, she's done. 28:21 So that Bible certainly is always true, 28:22 the principles always, certainly always there. 28:24 And something very difficult, Matthew 5:39, 28:29 I'll paraphrase it, talks about somebody 28:31 smashing on one cheek, turn the other one. 28:35 That's not easy to do. That's not easy to do. 28:38 That's what the Lord does require of us just, 28:40 you know, show the other cheek there. 28:41 How many times we forgive and so on so forth? 28:44 You know, there's a lot of people I think that... 28:49 Maybe this is just me. 28:50 Sorry, if I just, rest, I'm not listening here. 28:52 I'll just talk to you." 28:55 Yeah, don't listen to all this here because, 28:57 I mean, there's some people 28:58 let's just be honest about that you meet... 29:02 Lord help us. 29:03 The way they look, their attitude, 29:05 the way they handle themself aggravates you. 29:07 Yes. 29:08 None of you ever been through that, 29:10 I understand that. 29:11 But, you know, the time has passed, 29:12 or it's just some people, you know, 29:15 and so we have to deal with those things. 29:17 Because as a Christian, a child of God, 29:19 that should never happen, but if it does, 29:20 how do we deal with it? 29:22 I know you met some time with children, 29:24 we talked about that in previous lesson. 29:26 When my wife taught at school, 29:28 she told grades one through eight, 29:30 and the kids sometimes, they get little out of control, 29:31 you know. 29:33 And so she had... 29:34 In fact she had me to make it a nice little wooden paddle, 29:37 you know, drill holes all in it. 29:39 And I had to write on that nice big red letters, 29:43 attitude adjustment, attitude adjuster. 29:47 And so when you picked up that paddle 29:49 and like the attitude just, 29:50 the kids had to start adjusting. 29:52 But you know, we're dealing with grownups here. 29:54 Sometimes it's a whole different ballgame 29:56 when you deal with grownups. 29:58 Sometime we have a good reason that seems, 30:01 sometime we have good reason to be upset, 30:03 it seems. 30:04 So and how are we gonna deal with that? 30:07 I don't think we should make excuses when we get upset, 30:10 I think we need to face it. 30:11 I don't think we need to stay mad. 30:13 So Shelley, Sister Shelley mentioned the quiet thing. 30:17 I've heard somebody talk it through, 30:19 I don't like quietness myself. 30:20 Amen, amen. 30:21 Go ahead and put it out on the table. 30:23 Let's talk about, let's see, well, let's deal with it, 30:24 let's try to get behind this, 30:26 you know, and Ephesians 4:26, 27, 30:29 somebody read 26 I think while ago 30:31 but let's look at just a little closer 30:33 maybe than we did just a while ago Ephesians 4:26, 27. 30:37 It tells us "Be ye angry and do," what? 30:40 Sin not. "And sin not. 30:42 Let not the sun go down on your wrath." 30:44 Verse 27, "Neither give place to the devil." 30:47 So right quick, I see the devil's got a place here. 30:49 He's wanting to get in, 30:50 he's wanting to get into the church, 30:52 he's wanting to get into your life, 30:53 he's wanting to get into my life, 30:54 he's wanting to get into the marriage, 30:56 he's wanting to get in between you and your friends and so on. 30:57 But it says, "To be angry and sin not." 30:59 I tried to look more the word up angry 31:02 in original language, 31:03 and I kept coming up with passion. 31:08 Angry means angry. 31:10 How do you deal with that? 31:12 I want to just throw another word in here, 31:14 sometime we get hot. 31:16 Somebody is not gonna get that one. 31:18 Justify, we're hot. It seemed like little angry. 31:20 But how can we do that, 31:21 it says, you know, you'd be angry but sin not. 31:23 It's the first thing I heard about that from my youth 31:25 and I said, "Man, that sin wasn't at time impossible 31:28 for me be aggravated not sin, 31:30 not to carry it too far. 31:31 You see what I'm saying? Not to carry it too far. 31:33 But let's break it down a little bit. 31:35 I believe in this passage and everybody has a right 31:38 to disagree with me. 31:39 I believe this is really addressing 31:41 righteous indignation. 31:43 Somebody think with me, righteous indignation. 31:46 There's a time, I'll give you an illustration 31:47 to talk about here. 31:50 Let's say for instance, you think about Jesus 31:53 when He cleansed the temple. 31:55 What would we call that? He was... 31:56 Some people say, 31:57 He got mad and He threw things, He did things, 31:59 I said, "No I can never appease my Lord doing like that. 32:01 I know He cleansed the temple. 32:03 Righteous indignation, 32:05 I can think of when Moses came down the mountain 32:07 with the Ten Commandments. 32:08 He's seen what was going on, what did he do? 32:11 Throw him down, broke him. 32:12 Well, it would probably seem like it, 32:14 you know, he's little angry about some things 32:16 and I won't call that righteous indignation. 32:19 There's a time and I actually feel like there's a time 32:21 and a place even in the world that we live in 32:24 that really, really men and women of God 32:26 need to show little more the righteous indignation 32:29 when there are open wrongs 32:30 and things that are going haywire, 32:32 whether it be in the church or in our own personal life. 32:34 When sin is coming, 32:35 surfaced up towards the known thing, 32:37 we need to take a stand on it, because it hurts us. 32:40 It hurts the cause of Christ. 32:42 It hurts our movement 32:43 and, you know, God have mercy, 32:45 help us to stand for those things. 32:47 I think there's a righteous indignation. 32:50 I've heard some people say, "Well, I was justified, 32:53 I was justified, justified anger." 32:56 Remember this, justification, you may be justified 32:58 in this sense but justified anger 33:01 is directed against the wrong act, 33:05 not against the wrongdoer. 33:07 That makes sense? 33:08 Yes. Perfect sense. 33:10 Yeah, justifiable anger 33:11 is directed against the wrong act, 33:13 not the wrongdoer. 33:15 And I put in my notes here, Lord, 33:17 help me to distinguish between the two. 33:20 Amen. 33:21 We distinguish between the two. 33:23 I can't do it in the flesh, I can't do it by myself. 33:26 The Greek indicates here that, it says, 33:30 "Sin not is a command." 33:33 God commands us, He said, "You know, we're to sin not." 33:37 And it simply means, I want to paraphrase it, 33:40 is just don't let this thing have. 33:41 Don't let it get out of control. 33:43 Don't let it eat you up. 33:44 Don't let it drive you crazy. 33:46 Don't lose your head over it. 33:48 Don't let it build up to any kind of a resentment, 33:51 or a get even, or I've lost control here. 33:54 And don't let it fester up. 33:57 God wants us to take care of it. 33:59 Righteous indignation, 34:00 I've gotta say this before we close. 34:02 There is... 34:04 As far as I'm concerned, 34:05 righteous indignation can even be abused. 34:07 You can just agree or disagree, it can be abused. 34:10 You think about it because and here it is 34:12 right in the Word of God, the principle, 34:13 you're always talking about. 34:15 Principle says, don't let what? 34:16 Don't let the sun go down on your what? 34:19 On your wrath. 34:20 So you know, think about it. 34:22 That's the safety net right there. 34:24 Any kind of resentment toward anyone 34:26 can be a soul destroying, 34:29 to justify anger 34:30 can turn easily into resentment. 34:32 It can take that person to the point 34:34 where you just can't stand to be around, 34:36 you don't even want to look at him. 34:37 That's not the Christian attitude. 34:38 That's not the way to go. 34:41 I've often said in life, you know, 34:42 as people do this in the church, 34:44 I don't know if people sometime, it's not right, 34:47 I realize it, they had to have issues 34:49 and they make sure when they come in, 34:51 they go down this aisle over here, 34:52 the other one goes down in the aisle over there. 34:55 I want to have, will do by the grace of God 34:56 if they made it to heaven, 34:58 you know, I've had those issues in my life 35:00 and I realized I've got to enjoy everybody 35:03 and everyone. 35:04 I want to share eternity with each one. 35:06 And I don't want to and it won't take place, 35:08 you know, if you look in heaven, 35:09 they won't be there, I will go over here 35:11 and I'll meet you, if you're going to this world, 35:12 I'm going to be in the other world. 35:14 Not going to happen. 35:15 God wants all those things 35:17 to work out on you and for us all. 35:19 Don't give place to the devil is what it says. 35:22 I encourage you with that. 35:24 Don't give the enemy opportunity 35:25 to come in and divide brothers and sisters, 35:27 divide the church, divide us and separate us 35:30 from our Master because we need Him. 35:32 Let's stick together, let's hang together, 35:34 'cause Jesus is coming soon. 35:35 Amen, thank you so much, Pastor Kenny, 35:38 what an incredible lesson. 35:39 This entire lesson has been on conflict. 35:42 And you think about anger 35:44 and you think about difficulty in conflict 35:46 and how God calls us to work in unity, 35:49 not only in the family unit, 35:51 but in the church and in the community. 35:54 So praise the Lord for the principles, Ryan, 35:57 biblical principles from the Word of God 35:59 that we can take and that we can use. 36:02 Wednesday's lesson, 36:04 if you watch Sabbath School Panel last week, 36:07 this is almost as if it were a part two, 36:09 from what I shared, actually, my particular day 36:12 at last week on abuse, this is almost anger, 36:15 you can say when it gets out of control, 36:18 when it is not put to bed at the end of the day. 36:23 And when it continues to escalate and grow 36:26 and is fed and becomes that sort of monster, 36:29 we're talking about that abuse. 36:31 The home is supposed to be the most sacred space. 36:35 The place where we're safe, where we're protected, 36:38 and cherished and loved. 36:41 But instead, in some homes, 36:44 maybe you're watching today in your home. 36:46 Your home is a place where abuse 36:48 or violence takes place, 36:51 that was never in God's plan. 36:55 Last week, we talked about some of the statistics 36:57 of violence in home and domestic abuse. 37:00 We talked about what it's like for kids 37:03 to grow up in an environment of abuse, 37:06 and to experience that. 37:08 And abuse takes many forms 37:09 but it's all contrary to the principle 37:12 of God's kingdom, which is unselfish love. 37:16 From the cradle to the cross, Jesus lived to bless others. 37:20 He had that principle of self sacrificing love. 37:24 If you think about a healthy relationship 37:26 versus an abusive relationship, 37:28 a healthy relationship is built on unselfish love, 37:32 an abusive relationship is built on fear. 37:34 Healthy relationship is built on freedom. 37:38 Abusive is built on power and control. 37:41 Healthy is built on trust. 37:44 Abusive is built on suspicion. 37:47 Healthy is built on security. 37:50 Abusive would be built on uncertainty. 37:53 Healthy relationship owns your own mistakes 37:56 and accepts responsibility for your own issues. 38:01 And abusive relationship blames the other person. 38:05 A healthy relationship is built on respect. 38:09 Abusive would be built on intimidation. 38:12 Healthy is built on openness. 38:15 Abusive is built on manipulation. 38:17 Healthy is built on unselfishness, 38:21 and abusive is centered on self. 38:24 So if you are in the midst of an abusive situation, 38:29 or if you have experienced abuse 38:31 somehow in your past, 38:33 what can God do to bring healing, 38:35 I want to talk about seven steps 38:37 or seven keys to healing from that abuse. 38:42 Number one, understand that abuse 38:43 was never part of God's plan. 38:46 Colossians 3:19, this is taken 38:49 from the New International Version, 38:52 it says, "Husbands, love your wives, 38:54 and never treat them harshly." 38:57 I like the way the NIV quotes that, 39:00 never treat them harshly. 39:02 Now we can say this works both ways. 39:04 'Cause often when we think of abuse, Pastor Tom, 39:07 we think, well, the husband is domineering 39:09 or abusive to the wife, and that takes place. 39:11 But in addition, I have seen marriages and homes 39:15 where the wife is abusive to the husband. 39:18 So it's a two way street, it can take place both ways. 39:24 So we can take this scripture, not only are the husbands 39:26 to love their wives and not treat them harshly, 39:28 but the wives are to love and respect 39:30 their husbands in return. 39:32 Abuse is the result of sin. 39:34 It's a sense of that separation from the Father. 39:39 Jeremiah 29:11, God says, 39:41 "I know the thoughts I think toward you," says the Lord, 39:44 "thoughts of peace and not of evil." 39:46 So abuse was never part of God's plan. 39:49 Number two, accept who you are, as God's child. 39:55 You know, when I do women's retreats, 39:56 I like to do this a lot, 39:58 sometimes I'll bring a little paper or stone, 40:01 and we have markers 40:02 and when we're done with a certain presentation, 40:04 the women will write on that, who they are in Christ. 40:07 It's so important for us 40:09 to understand who we are in Christ. 40:13 And if you've been abused, 40:15 if you've been shamed, 40:17 you lose a sense of your identity. 40:20 It's either merged in the abuser, 40:22 or you just don't even know who you are in Christ. 40:26 So in Christ, you are accepted. 40:28 John 6:37, Jesus says,` 40:31 "Whoever comes to Me, 40:32 I will never cast aside." 40:35 In Christ you are beloved. 40:39 Romans 9:25, 26, 40:42 Paul says, "As He..." 40:43 meaning Jesus says in Hosea, "I will call them my people 40:48 who were not my people, 40:49 and her beloved, who was not my beloved. 40:53 And it shall come to pass in the place 40:55 where it was said to them, 40:56 'You were not my people, 40:58 that they should be called sons and daughters 41:00 of the living God. 41:02 You're accepted, you are beloved, 41:05 you are forgiven.'" 41:07 Hebrews 8:12, "I will be merciful 41:09 to their unrighteousness, 41:11 and their sins and their lawless deeds, 41:13 I will remember no more." 41:16 You are loved. 41:18 1 John 3:1, "Behold what manner of love 41:21 the Father has bestowed upon us, 41:23 that we should be called 41:24 the sons and daughters of God." 41:26 Romans 5:8, "God demonstrates His love for us 41:30 and that while we were yet sinners." 41:33 That verse always gets me 41:36 when I spit in his face. 41:39 When I say God, I don't want anything to do with You. 41:42 He still came and died for me. 41:45 So no matter what we've done, or where we've been, 41:48 or how bad we feel we are, 41:50 we are accepted, we are beloved, 41:52 we are forgiven, we are loved, and we're saved. 41:56 Psalm 27:1, "The Lord is my light and my salvation, 42:02 whom shall I fear? 42:03 The Lord is the strength of my life, 42:05 of whom shall I be afraid?" 42:08 So first, know that the abuse was never part of God's plan. 42:11 Two, accept who you are as God's child. 42:14 Three, internalize that it was not your fault. 42:19 We can know that intellectually, 42:22 you know, Pastor Kenny, 42:23 it's easy to understand that intellectually, 42:25 "Oh, yeah, I know, it wasn't my..." 42:27 But if I actually understand that inside, 42:32 that makes a completely different story. 42:34 So if you have been abused, 42:36 know that you did not deserve this, 42:39 and it is never your fault. 42:43 Number four, get help, 42:45 ensure that you're safe and in a safe place, 42:48 and your children are safe, find safe people to talk to, 42:54 if you're a woman, reach out to other women 42:56 in the church, or that you can talk to 42:58 and that you can trust. 42:59 If you're a man reach out to other men 43:01 that you can talk to and that you can trust. 43:03 Go to a safe place. 43:05 Number five, forget about the why, 43:09 focus on the what. 43:12 Now, a good friend of mine told me this recently. 43:15 And it actually helped me in dealing 43:17 with a certain situation. 43:18 So many times we try to explain the other person's behavior, 43:22 you know, whether you're dealing with a friend 43:23 or an acquaintance or a business associate, 43:26 and you try to explain the behavior, 43:27 why did they act that way? 43:28 So you're trying to internalize it, 43:30 and you think, maybe I did something 43:32 to cause this and you try to go down that whole road. 43:35 So forget about the why, 43:36 focus on the what, look at what the person did. 43:39 Judge the behavior, not the motive, 43:42 we're not called to judge motive, 43:44 but you can look at behavior. 43:46 Number six, allow God to heal you. 43:51 Healing is a process, healing takes time. 43:55 Psalm 34:18, "The Lord is near 43:59 to those who have a broken heart." 44:01 Yes. 44:02 The word broken in Hebrew literally means to break, 44:06 to break in pieces, to crush, or destroy. 44:11 So you might feel today, 44:13 I'm broken, I'm crushed, I'm in pieces. 44:17 The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart 44:21 and he was saved such as have a contrite spirit. 44:24 Isaiah 61:3, "He will comfort all who mourn, 44:28 He will console those who mourn in Zion, 44:31 He will give them beauty for ashes, 44:33 the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise 44:36 for the spirit of heaviness." 44:38 Finally, number seven, 44:40 learn to trust again 44:43 after an abusive situation, 44:46 or even any kind of difficulty in a relationship. 44:49 Sometimes it's hard to trust again. 44:53 First of all, we got to trust God before we can trust people. 44:55 Proverbs 3:5-6, 44:57 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart." 45:00 Don't lean on your own understanding, 45:01 in all your ways acknowledge Him, 45:03 and He will direct your paths. 45:04 So learn to trust in Him, but make a decision 45:08 to begin trusting people again. 45:12 I know, I went through a difficult situation 45:13 in my life once 45:15 and nothing to do with Greg, he's fabulous. 45:18 But this was about another situation 45:20 and it took me one year 45:23 before I could trust anyone, beyond my husband, 45:26 took me one year to begin to learn to trust again. 45:31 But God can heal you, He can restore you. 45:35 There's another part in this entire process 45:38 and that's forgiveness but I won't talk about that, 45:40 'cause I think that's Pastor Tom. 45:42 Thank you. 45:43 This is truly been a feast today, 45:45 it really has. 45:47 And, you know, I can't help 45:48 but I just kept thinking 45:50 that here we are as self centered sinners 45:52 learning to be selfless, 45:54 be the kingdom of heaven here on earth. 45:56 And we come to this with damage. 46:00 We talked about conflict resolution, 46:01 sometimes we were taught to not say anything, 46:04 just wait, somebody feels better, 46:05 and then we'll move on, 46:07 sometimes we're to yell it out 46:08 and sometimes those same people marry, 46:10 those two people marry each other 46:11 and try to figure out which way is up. 46:13 But we serve a God that is the way, 46:15 the truth and the life. 46:17 And, you know, I promise you, Ryan, 46:18 I wrote this down before I came here, 46:20 a principle that we're gonna share 46:23 is found here in Matthew 7:12. 46:26 And one thing I love principles 46:28 is you don't have to change them. 46:30 Because principles are what God is, 46:31 He's all about principles. 46:33 "Treat others as you want them to treat you. 46:36 This is the law..." 46:37 Yeah, Matthew 7:12. 46:39 "This is the law and then prophets are all about." 46:42 This is what we call the golden rule. 46:44 This is something that in many religions, 46:46 they talk about this kind of thing 46:48 in a negative context or positive 46:50 but Jesus is wrapping this around who God really is. 46:54 As a matter of fact, the law and the prophets, 46:55 when Jesus was asked to sum up the law, 46:59 more than 600 of them. 47:01 He said, "Love God with all your heart, 47:03 mind and soul, and love your neighbor as yourself." 47:05 And that is really the principle 47:08 of God and who He is. 47:10 And Matthew 5:44 says, "Love your enemies. 47:13 I'm going to go through these quickly 47:15 so you might not be able to turn all these. 47:16 But loving your enemies 47:18 is something that God has commissioned us to do, 47:20 which is something in our own power. 47:21 We're not equipped to do that. 47:23 John 15:12, "Love one another as I have loved you." 47:28 Romans 13:10, "Love does no harm." 47:33 1 Corinthians 13:4, "Love suffers long." 47:39 Putting up with sometimes we have to, 47:41 in a relationship you need to suffer long, 47:44 and God is the one that strengthens us 47:46 and makes it possible. 47:47 1 Corinthians 13:8 says, "Love never fails." 47:52 And, you know, there's something that recently 47:54 I heard someone say, 47:56 I don't even know who to quote this from 47:57 but it says "Hatred corrodes the container 47:59 it is carried in." 48:02 Hatred corrodes the container it is carried in. 48:06 And I thought, I wrote that down and I said, 48:08 I've got, I had that in one of my sermons recently, 48:11 because it will actually destroy us. 48:14 And 1 Peter 4:8 says that, "Love will cover..." 48:19 Let's go to 1 Peter 4:8. 48:24 Like the others on the panel, 48:25 I have more to say than I believe I have time for, 48:28 so I'm racing through scripture. 48:32 1 Peter 4:8, 48:35 "And above all things, have fervent love 48:38 for one another, for love will cover 48:40 a multitude of sins." 48:42 Yes. Yes. 48:44 And we must... 48:45 And there's something that God actually endows us with. 48:49 And we are also if you go to Hebrew, 48:51 we don't have to turn there, it's in our lesson. 48:52 It's Hebrews 12:14, it says, "Pursue peace with all people 48:56 and holiness without which no one will see the Lord." 49:00 So it's really something because if we don't forgive, 49:03 if we do not love, 49:04 we will not see the Lord, 49:05 we will not experience what we're all are longing for. 49:09 And, you know, we're either building relationships, 49:14 we're either building bridges, or we're building walls 49:17 when it comes to how 49:18 we're dealing with other people. 49:20 And God has called us to be bridge builders. 49:25 You know, sometimes, 49:27 and I really appreciate the way 49:28 it has been unpacked so well here, 49:30 sometimes we've experienced so much damage 49:32 from someone else, 49:34 a lot of times in our childhood, 49:35 sometimes in our current relationships right now, 49:37 that it might be verbal abuse, it might be emotional abuse. 49:41 Some people might be gaslighted on a regular basis 49:43 by their spouse, 49:45 all kinds of things are happening to pretty people. 49:47 Sometimes it is physical, 49:49 and sometimes it's sexual abuse. 49:51 And so to ask someone 49:53 who's been receiving this to forgive, 49:56 that is asking, that's a tall order. 49:58 Yes. 50:00 And it doesn't, it's not something 50:01 that comes naturally without being worked through. 50:02 Recently, a pastor told me that someone was... 50:06 They were abused by their father so badly 50:08 that they just... 50:09 The father had already died, and they could not let it go 50:11 and it was ruining their journey with Christ. 50:14 And so what they did was, they said, 50:15 "Write down what you wanted, just tell them." 50:18 Write it all down, and they wrote 50:19 more than 20 pages 50:22 and they said, "Take what you've written 50:24 and start a fire and burn it." 50:27 There you go. 50:28 And one page at a time, they burned, 50:30 that whole discussion 50:33 that they had with their deceased father. 50:36 The next time they came to church, 50:37 they were a different person. 50:39 Praise God. 50:40 The light of God was in their heart, 50:42 they had to let it go. 50:43 Sometimes we do need help 50:45 in the psychological area as well as just 50:47 not just the spiritual area, 50:48 'cause God will empower us. 50:50 But we need to be willing to go there. 50:51 When we step forward in faith, 50:53 God will provide. 50:55 I like first to turn to Matthew 6:12. 51:04 As matter of fact, you know, this is something 51:05 that is a scripture that is the Lord's Prayer. 51:09 And oftentimes in, you know, like John 3:16, 51:11 you can actually see the state of the dead 51:13 and a lot of people don't realize that, you know, 51:15 they don't believe the true state of the dead, 51:17 but it's right there. 51:18 But here we are in the Lord's Prayer 51:20 and it's saying here in verse 12, 51:23 "And forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors." 51:26 And if you really study that out, 51:28 what that's saying is, 51:29 forgive us the same way we forgive others. 51:32 God is asking us to forgive in that capacity. 51:35 Verse 14 says, "For if you forgive men their trespasses, 51:38 your heavenly Father will also forgive you, 51:40 but if you do not forgive men their trespasses, 51:44 neither will your Father forgive your trespasses." 51:48 Now you think about it, 51:50 what is God actually asking us to forgive? 51:53 We talked about sin, 51:54 God forgave us even while we were yet sinners, 51:56 but even before I was created, 51:59 the Lord provided forgiveness for me and for all of us, 52:03 so His forgiveness is eternal 52:05 and what I think about is God's calling us 52:08 to forgive the person. 52:09 Because what happens is, 52:11 I'm going to talk about a little bit 52:12 of a converting effect that occurs, 52:14 and I don't have a lot of time. 52:15 So I wanna share this. 52:18 How should we forgive? 52:19 Matthew 18:22, let's go there. 52:31 "Jesus said to him..." Now, now, think about it. 52:33 Peter has been hearing three strikes 52:34 and you're out from the religious leaders. 52:36 He's thinking, "Well, Jesus is a better rabbi. 52:39 It's a more biblical number, how about seven times." 52:41 And Jesus says, "Seven times seventy." 52:44 Here, in this verse 22, 52:48 "Jesus said to him, I do not say to you 52:49 up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven." 52:52 And he's talking about the number of times 52:54 to forgive someone. 52:56 Right, the number of times to forgive someone. 52:57 And, as a matter of fact, what happens... 53:01 Let's go to Isaiah 53, 53:03 because I really wanna unpack this, 53:04 Isaiah 53:5, 6 and 8. 53:11 Isaiah 53:5. 53:13 This is talking about 53:15 what really happens with our sin. 53:16 "For He was wounded for our transgressions, 53:18 He was bruised for our iniquities, 53:20 the chastisement for our peace was upon Him." 53:23 In other words, when you and I sin 53:24 there is a lack of peace. 53:26 Our lesson's about peace here on Thursday. 53:28 It's a lack of the things that God can reward us with. 53:31 But He took that on for us along with the sin itself 53:35 and the price for that sin, 53:37 "And by His stripes we are healed." 53:40 And verse 6, "All we like sheep have gone astray, 53:44 we have turned everyone to his own way, 53:45 and the Lord has laid on Him the iniquity of us all." 53:48 And in verse 8, "For he was taken from prison 53:50 and from judgment, 53:52 and who will declare his generation 53:53 for he was cut off from the land of living 53:55 for the transgressions of my people 53:58 who were stricken." 53:59 So that sin if you think about it, 54:00 Jesus paid the price 54:02 for your perpetrator's sin as well as your sin. 54:05 And there's something about forgiveness 54:07 that not only do you receive forgiveness, 54:09 but you're also a channel to allow 54:11 somebody else to receive that forgiveness 54:13 that has already been extended toward them. 54:16 As a matter of fact, let's go to Proverbs 25:21-22. 54:21 I hope I can pull this off. 54:24 Proverbs 25:21-22. 54:30 "If your enemy is hungry, give him bread to eat. 54:32 And if he is thirsty, give him water to drink 54:34 for so you will heap coals of fire on his head 54:37 and the Lord will reward you." 54:39 Sometimes we ask 54:40 what does it mean coals of fire. 54:41 And the theologians say, 54:43 "Well, that just means, you know, 54:44 you just stopped them in their tracks" 54:46 or they had a hard time explaining it? 54:48 Let's go to Isaiah Chapter 6. 54:53 Isaiah Chapter 6, 54:54 and we're going to look at verses 5 through 7. 54:57 We find that... 55:00 Because I was looking for coals 55:01 and where it's mentioned, 55:02 and we find is that 55:04 the prophet is getting a glimpse 55:05 of the throne room of God. 55:07 He gets a picture of who God really is. 55:08 And he says here in verse 5, 55:10 he says, "So I said, 'Woe is me, for I am undone! 55:12 Because I am a man of unclean lips, 55:14 and I dwell in the midst of a people of unclean lips. 55:16 For my eyes have seen the King, the Lord of hosts.'" 55:19 "Then one of the seraphim flew to me, 55:21 having in his hand," what? 55:22 "A live coal 55:24 which he had taken from the tongs from the altar." 55:27 That altar that he took it from 55:29 is the altar of incense 55:30 if you're looking at it has to be altar of incense, 55:32 not the altar outside of the holy place. 55:35 So we're looking at is that intercessory 55:37 between heaven and earth 55:39 is what were the prayers of the saints along with. 55:42 In other words, we're yoking up with God 55:44 and what He's already extending and doing for someone else." 55:48 We are blessed when we forgive somebody else. 55:50 We are blessed as well as they, 55:52 and we are actually a channel 55:53 that God is extending His forgiveness through. 55:56 Amen. Amen and amen. 55:58 This has been so good, so rich, 55:59 we're almost out of time 56:01 so I wanna just give each one of you few seconds 56:04 to give a closing talk. 56:06 Absolutely, just really quickly, 56:07 Christ's love, it comes from counsels 56:09 on courtship and marriage. 56:10 Christ's love is deep in earnest, 56:12 flowing like an irresistible stream 56:14 to all who will accept it. 56:16 It will lead us to sympathize with those 56:18 whose hearts hunger for sympathy. 56:20 Amen. 56:21 Forgiveness for our sins was an infinite cost. 56:25 To forgive our fellow man costs nothing 56:28 but a little pride and a red face. 56:30 Ooh, that's powerful. 56:32 When I spoke, I appeal to those of you 56:35 who had experienced abuse, 56:36 but I want to appeal to those of you 56:37 who have not experienced 56:39 that God puts other people in your life 56:42 that you can reach out to 56:44 and you can be part of the healing process 56:47 for someone else. 56:48 Amen. 56:49 When we think about communion, 56:51 we always go to the ordinance of humility first 56:52 in the Seventh-day Adventist Church 56:54 before we go into communion. 56:55 And it's added so we can humble ourselves before... 56:56 Explain what that is because some people don't know. 56:58 Where we actually go through the foot washing 57:00 that we see Jesus, as matter of fact, 57:02 no one else was willing to serve 57:04 so Jesus grabbed a basin and towel 57:05 and started serving the disciples. 57:07 And what He wants us to do 57:09 is if you have a problem with a brother or a sister, 57:11 serve them or heal that wound 57:13 before you commune with him, 57:15 and that's a good exercise 57:16 to remind us of that each and every time. 57:18 Amen. 57:19 Well, this has been a beautiful lesson, 57:21 "Little Times of Trouble." 57:23 Amos 3:3 says, 57:26 "Can two walk together 57:28 unless they are agreed." 57:30 So we want to hope that you've learned something 57:34 about conflict resolution today. 57:37 Join us next week. 57:38 Bye-bye. |
Revised 2019-05-30