Participants:
Series Code: SSP
Program Code: SSP190021A
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00:01 The Bible tells us, "In the beginning was the Word,
00:04 and the Word was with God, 00:06 and the Word was God." 00:08 It says to, 00:09 "Receive with meekness the implanted Word, 00:12 which is able to save your souls 00:15 and to be diligent 00:16 to present yourself approved to God, 00:18 rightly dividing the Word of truth." 00:21 Join us now 00:23 for the 3ABN Sabbath School Panel. 00:26 Our study today is Family Seasons. 00:35 Hello, and welcome to the 3ABN Sabbath School 00:37 Bible Panel 00:38 or the Bible Sabbath School Panel, 00:40 whichever one, it's all about Sabbath School. 00:41 Amen. 00:43 And we're glad that you've taken the time 00:44 to tune in. 00:45 Again, if you're part of our family, 00:47 you know, this is a study that we all enjoy tremendously. 00:51 All you need to study with us is a Bible 00:55 and also a Sabbath School lesson, 00:56 in just a moment I'll tell you how to get a copy of that. 00:59 But first, I wanna begin by just having a word of prayer. 01:02 And then, Jill, would you pray for us today? 01:04 Sure. 01:05 Holy Father, we come before You 01:07 in the name of Jesus thanking You 01:08 for the gift of family, 01:09 thanking You for the gift of Your Word. 01:12 And we ask right now for Your Holy Spirit 01:14 that You would teach us, 01:16 and that we would hear and obey 01:18 what You give us in Jesus' name. 01:21 Amen. Amen. 01:23 A very interesting lesson "Season of Parenting." 01:26 And this is broken down in various ways. 01:29 Mine on Sunday is "Childless Parenting". 01:32 And it says perfectly 01:33 because my wife and I have no children 01:35 but before we dive into that if you'd like a copy 01:37 to follow along with us, go to this following website, 01:40 ABSG.Adventist.org to download a digital copy 01:45 or go to your local Seventh-day Adventist Church, 01:47 and I'm sure that they will be glad 01:49 to introduce you 01:50 to a panel of people to study with. 01:53 But let's also meet our panel of people 01:55 that we're gonna be studying with. 01:57 To my left is the General Manager of 3ABN, 02:00 Jill, Jill Morikone. 02:01 Good to have you here, Jill. Thank you, Pastor. 02:03 And the Pastor Kenny Shelton. 02:06 You're not just to study... 02:08 He's a preacher on our Panel. 02:10 Yeah, and I like that. 02:11 He's always got a sermon ready 02:12 and he's always unashamed to preach it. 02:14 Good to have you here, Pastor Kenny Shelton. 02:15 Good to be here. Thank you. 02:17 Pastor Ryan Day. 02:18 He's the youngest, 02:20 and he said before we got on the set, 02:21 he's the least seasoned, 02:22 but he's coming along very well. 02:24 Praise the Lord. 02:25 And we appreciate your growth, we're seeing it. 02:26 Amen. 02:28 And Shelley Quinn, how many hats do you have? 02:30 Many. I'm well-seasoned. 02:33 Let's put it that way. 02:34 And we appreciate every hat you wear, 02:36 and but also, your student hat is a beautiful one. 02:38 And we appreciate your approach to God's Word. 02:40 Amen. 02:42 And so childless parenting... 02:43 You know, the Season of Parenting, 02:45 this is an interesting story, 02:47 and I'm gonna do my best to get through it 02:49 because I've never been a parent of our children. 02:51 My wife and I've been married going on 36 years now, 02:55 and we don't have any children of our own, 02:57 not that we hadn't tried, 02:58 but whatever reason, Lord had a different plan, 03:01 and I've grown into the contentment 03:03 that the Lord is more sovereign than I. 03:07 And so He's allowed us in the course of time 03:09 to raise different children, 03:11 and that is nieces and nephews. 03:14 And to appreciate the fact that we don't have children 03:19 because this world is a different world. 03:21 I mean, it's a different world. 03:22 Yes it is. 03:24 The world that we live in today is so challenging that truly, 03:27 I think this thing called Season of Parenting 03:30 should be more specifically seasons of parenting. 03:33 Because parenting, in my generation, 03:36 is different than parenting today. 03:38 And you can go back every generation. 03:41 You could see parenting had different challenges. 03:44 The one thing that was consistent though 03:46 is human nature. 03:47 Humans nature was the same, 03:48 so an addiction of the '70s or '80s or '90s 03:52 or going back to '60s or '50s 03:54 there were different challenges. 03:56 In every generation, 03:58 I think adults thought that children lost their minds. 04:02 But we're convinced today that they have. 04:04 Yes. 04:06 That the memory text is really a beautiful one, 04:09 and it's in Psalm 127:3, 04:11 and I'll read that when you're hearing. 04:14 The Psalmist David writes these beautiful words. 04:17 "Behold, children are a heritage 04:20 from the Lord, 04:22 the fruit of the womb is a reward." 04:25 I'm gonna dive into childless parenting 04:28 and go with me to the Book of Genesis Chapter 18. 04:34 I wanna show you a couple of passages 04:36 because if you had not heard my story, 04:39 my story is somewhat unique, 04:41 unique to me but not unique to the world 04:43 because I come from a home 04:45 where my mom and dad were not married, 04:47 and so they didn't really enter into parenting at all. 04:51 I was just conceived, I was given birth, 04:53 and they went their separate ways. 04:56 At three months old, I was left at a babysitter. 04:58 My dad's name was not even on my birth certificate. 05:01 My mom was too young, 05:03 and she decided not to take me back home to our family, 05:06 which is a Filipino French family 05:08 in the Virgin Islands. 05:09 I'm all four nationalities, 05:11 Filipino and Caucasian on my mom's side 05:14 and black and Native American on my dad's side. 05:17 I'm another. 05:18 And I appreciate my other, 05:19 and I refuse to be categorized 05:22 because I wanna appreciate all of my heritage. 05:25 But my mom was raised 05:27 in a small island in the Virgin Islands 05:29 called Saint Thomas in Frenchtown. 05:32 Hi, Saint Thomas or Saint Thomas 05:35 how would we say it. 05:36 Or the Virgin Islands how they would say it. 05:39 But my mom was raised in a situation 05:42 where she decided to take a different course 05:44 and my brother and my sister 05:46 and I were all born in New York City, 05:48 but we were all born to different fathers. 05:52 So my mom was like an Abraham, 05:54 she was a female Abraham. 05:56 Instead of having different mothers, 05:57 my mom had different... 05:59 All of us had different fathers. 06:00 I was one of the fortunate ones to find out 06:02 later on in life who my mother was, 06:06 but my brother didn't really find out 06:08 who his dad is, 06:10 and my sister didn't really find out 06:12 who her father is. 06:13 It was some suggestions. 06:15 So I'm approaching this from the perspective 06:17 of a child that did not become a parent, 06:24 and a child who didn't have parents. 06:27 That's right. 06:29 But the Lord was gracious because at a tender age 06:31 of three months old, 06:33 He allowed me and my sister to be inserted into a home 06:38 where the woman was an Adventist, 06:42 and the husband was not a Christian. 06:44 She was a strong woman and the influences of my life 06:46 were strongly molded by a woman who had a connection with God 06:50 and a man who was just straight out strong. 06:54 From the old school, he was born in 1912, 06:57 sorry, 1910. 06:59 And he was from the school of no credit cards, 07:01 no debt, if it was in the house, 07:02 it was paid for. 07:04 The only thing he didn't pay for right off the bat 07:05 was his home, 07:06 but he paid for that before he passed away. 07:08 He was a person who understood the value of money 07:14 and making strong decisions and sticking with it. 07:18 He was no nonsense. 07:19 And I think a lot of my strength 07:21 came from him. 07:22 I saw how he dealt with the situations in life, 07:25 but I also saw how he loved his wife. 07:28 And we had fun at the dinner table, 07:30 we learned the principles of cleaning the house, 07:33 we had chores, everything was scheduled, 07:36 he was no nonsense but he knew how to have fun 07:40 when the time came, 07:41 and I learnt a lot of that. 07:43 But Genesis 18:11, 07:47 points out that sometimes 07:49 the Lord chooses to bless people 07:51 at His timing rather than their timing. 07:55 And Genesis 18:11, says, 07:58 "Now Abraham and Sarah were old, 08:00 well advanced in age, 08:02 and Sarah had past the age of childbearing." 08:05 And then Genesis 30:1, 08:09 and this is another situation, and it says, 08:12 "Now when Rachel saw that she bore Jacob no children, 08:16 Rachel envied her sister, and said to Jacob, 08:19 'Give me children, or else I die.'" 08:22 I can imagine those situations 08:23 'cause my wife and I lived in California. 08:25 And I'm gonna be very practical, 08:26 I'm gonna let you guys hit the Bible, 08:28 but I want to be very practical today 08:29 and communicate to somebody 08:31 who may be in the same situation I was in. 08:33 When my wife and I were married many years ago, 08:34 we know, we sought all the medical ways 08:37 to have children, 08:38 we thought about what could we do 08:40 because we love children. 08:41 I mean, we just, sometimes you see 08:43 a little child that looks like both of us. 08:45 In some instances we say, 08:47 "Well, that's may be what our son might look like, 08:48 well, that's may be 08:49 what our daughter might look like." 08:51 When I was sitting at home, 08:52 you know, wiping our eyes with tears, 08:53 and just boohoo and... 08:57 "Lord, please give us a child." 08:59 Because at this point in life, 09:02 we do not wanna be Abraham and Sarah 09:04 if we candid about it. 09:06 We're kind of happy with where we are. 09:08 But the Lord has a plan, and here's what I want to say, 09:12 "When it seems as though God is silent, 09:15 He's not really silent. 09:17 He's working at our plan for greater." 09:20 You know, Jeremiah 29:11, 09:22 "I know the thoughts I think toward you, 09:23 says the Lord, 09:25 thoughts of peace and not of evil, 09:26 to give you a future and a hope." 09:28 And I look at our lives now, I look at my life now, 09:31 and my wife and I have sat down 09:32 on many days and said, 09:34 "We could not orchestrate our lives 09:35 where turned out." 09:37 So let me say this to those who maybe childless. 09:39 I know of many famous evangelists 09:40 in our church, 09:42 many favorite, the Vendens, Gary and Marilyn, a very good, 09:45 wonderful couple of ours, they don't have children. 09:49 Malashenkos, they were without children. 09:51 And there are number of other very well-know personalities 09:56 in Adventism that don't have children. 09:59 And but God has taken the granite of their lives 10:04 and carved out a picture so beautiful that He says, 10:08 "I had a different plan for you." 10:10 And I've come to realize that the greatest blessing 10:13 in life is not necessarily having children, 10:16 but fulfilling God's plan. 10:17 Amen. 10:18 So when you think that a child is... 10:20 So my sister-in-law, 10:21 my wife's sister often says to Angie, 10:24 when we see a kid that says, "Oh, how cute she is!" 10:27 My sister-in-law says, "You better be glad, 10:29 you don't have children because they may get old, 10:32 and we think that when they hit 18 problems end. 10:34 No, they just change addresses, but the problems continue." 10:39 So when God is silent, He has a different plan. 10:41 That's my first point. 10:42 When God is silent, He has a different plan. 10:44 Jeremiah 29:11. 10:47 God knows the plans He has, 10:49 and our future will be a future and a hope... 10:52 Yes. 10:53 If we're simply in the silent moments of the life 10:55 when the delivery is not coming to your house, 10:57 say, "God has another plan." 10:59 And we've learned that. 11:00 We've been to now about 64 countries 11:02 around the world, 11:03 we could never have done that had we had children. 11:06 We've moved about 14 times, 11:07 we could never have done that if we had children. 11:11 And God has put us in a humbling way 11:13 on a stage where to His glory we are using our lives 11:17 to lead people to Christ. 11:19 We could never have planned what has worked out. 11:22 So I look back and say, 11:23 "God, I'm so happy that You're in charge 11:26 and I'm not." 11:27 The other one, we have to put the emotions 11:30 aside of childlessness because the emotions 11:33 could be more of damaging, 11:37 and then the child himself or herself. 11:41 The child can come along 11:42 and give you a different emotional damage. 11:46 But my wife and I learned how to deal with the emotions 11:49 of not having a child. 11:52 Every time we see friends that say, 11:55 we meet people and they would say, 11:57 "How many children do you have?" 11:59 And we say, "We have sheep instead, 12:02 we have many sheep." 12:04 They said, "Sheep? 12:05 Are you sheep farmers?" 12:06 "Yes, we've got a lot of sheep in our church. 12:09 Yeah, we got a sheep that bite." 12:11 And they say, "What do you mean?" 12:12 "Well, we don't have children." 12:13 And we embrace that we have sheep. 12:16 And we have sheep don't we, Jill. 12:18 That's right. 12:20 The sheep I have that is not of this old. 12:21 And so we got pass the emotion of that. 12:24 And then the other thing, the painful question, 12:26 when somebody asks the question 12:28 that is a pain to you, redirect it. 12:30 "How many children do you have?" 12:32 "We have sheep." 12:33 God had a different plan. 12:34 So you maybe a person young or you may be a person 12:37 in the middle avenues of life where it's still possible 12:40 and you're still trying or you may be a person 12:42 who's reached a latter point of your life 12:44 and you don't have children, 12:46 submit to the plans of the Lord 12:48 and realize that the Lord's plan 12:54 will supersede our expectations. 12:57 So I'm being practical. 12:58 I'm gonna let you all hit the Bible aspects of it. 13:01 Also, there are those people that can have children 13:04 that choose not to. 13:05 And those of us, 13:07 we see people that have children 13:09 and we say sometimes, "All we wanted was one." 13:11 And they have eight, 13:13 and they don't raise them correctly. 13:14 But once again, we submit to the Lord's plan. 13:17 The other thing is my wife and I have learned this, 13:20 and I'm gonna say this to those of you 13:21 that do have children, 13:23 be sensitive to those that don't have children. 13:26 And don't make a person who doesn't have children 13:29 feel like they are missing out on something 13:31 because they are really not missing out on anything. 13:34 I would consider it missing out on something 13:36 if I miss out on eternal life. 13:38 Missing out on everything else is secondary 13:41 to missing out on the eternal life. 13:42 I'm being very practical. 13:44 It's good. 13:45 And remember this text. 13:46 This is the beautiful text, 13:48 you know, that I've embraced. 13:49 Psalm 103:13, 13:53 "As a father pities his children," 13:56 I'm not childless, 13:58 I'm the child of the most high God, 14:02 "so the Lord pities those who fear Him." 14:04 I've got a father and I'm content. 14:06 I'm His child, He's my father, and I'm happy with that. 14:09 So really, I maybe childless, but I have a father. 14:13 Amen. I love that. 14:15 Thank you so much, Pastor John, 14:16 what a beautiful picture of the love of God 14:19 and how He can work in our lives. 14:22 He can fulfill His plan through us, 14:24 even if life doesn't always turn out the way 14:26 you had expected, 14:28 but God has a bigger and a better plan. 14:31 On Monday, we look at single parenting, 14:35 and I'll just be frank with you, 14:36 I'm not the ideal person for this lesson. 14:39 Number one, Greg and I don't have kids, 14:41 we share what you and Angie have, 14:43 but in addition to that, I'm married, 14:46 so I don't understand the pain of singleness. 14:49 But we're going to look at principles 14:52 from the Word of God, 14:55 principles on being a single parent, 14:58 seven biblical principles on single parenting. 15:01 I know that single parents 15:04 come through a variety of means. 15:05 You might be a single mom, and maybe you got pregnant, 15:08 and you never got married, 15:10 and you decided to keep your child. 15:12 Praise the Lord for that decision. 15:15 We just applaud you for that. 15:17 Maybe you're a couple, you never chose to get married, 15:21 and then one or the other one of you was raising that child, 15:24 maybe you got married and later got divorced, 15:28 and there's joint custody issues, 15:30 maybe you got married and one of the spouses died. 15:34 There's many different reasons, 15:36 why we have single parents today. 15:39 And it's a painful process, 15:41 but there's biblical principles that we can apply 15:44 to being a single parent. 15:46 Number one, understand you are never alone. 15:49 Amen. 15:51 Isaiah 43, one of my favorite scriptures. 15:53 Isaiah 43:1-3, "Now, thus says the Lord, 15:59 who created you, O Jacob, and He who formed you, 16:03 O Israel, 'Fear not, for I have redeemed you, 16:07 I have called you by your name, 16:08 you are Mine,' we belong to Him, 16:11 'When you pass through the waters, 16:13 I will be with you, and through the rivers, 16:15 they shall not overflow you. 16:18 When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned, 16:21 nor shall the flames scorch you. 16:22 For I am the Lord your God, 16:25 The Holy One of Israel, your Savior.'" 16:27 So you might feel like, "I'm going through the flood, 16:30 I'm going through the fire, I'm experiencing difficulties. 16:34 And, God, I don't even know what to do 16:36 and how to raise these kids." 16:38 But you're not walking through that experience alone 16:42 because God walks through it with you. 16:45 Number two, ask God for wisdom. 16:49 James 1:5, James tells us, "If any of you lacks wisdom, 16:54 let him ask of Me, 16:56 and I will give it to him liberally without reproach, 17:00 and it will be given to him." 17:03 And this applies not only into single parenting 17:05 but to any experience we have in life, 17:08 we just come before God. 17:09 But especially to single parents, 17:11 you know... 17:12 I think about in marriage, 17:14 it was such a blessing to balance 17:15 ideas of someone else, 17:16 such a blessing to talk together. 17:19 Greg and I talk together about the day, 17:20 and I say, "How should I handle this situation? 17:23 Or what do you recommend here?" 17:25 It was such a blessing to have like a sounding board, 17:28 and to talk to someone about those things. 17:31 But if you're a single parent, you can talk to God. 17:35 Say, "God, I need wisdom here. 17:36 How should I discipline? 17:38 How should I raise them? 17:39 What should I do in this circumstance?" 17:41 Number three, make the most of your time together. 17:47 Ephesians 5:16 says, "Redeeming the time, 17:50 because the days are evil." 17:52 You know, I think single parents especially, 17:55 they're trying to be the provider, 17:57 and so the kids are either in school all day 18:00 or they're at daycare 18:01 because there's no parent at home 18:03 to be there for the children. 18:05 So you have almost less time as it were with your kids, 18:09 but make the most of the time you have together. 18:12 I have a friend who is actually a single mom. 18:15 She's a foster mom, 18:16 and she works fulltime 18:18 and everyday her kids go to daycare. 18:20 So then she said, 18:21 "Jill, I make the most of moments, 18:24 every moment I have with my kids, 18:27 I make the most of it." 18:29 It's not like you come home after a long day of work 18:31 and, "Okay, you just go watch TV, 18:33 you go do your own thing because I'm busy, 18:35 and I need to do this." 18:36 But she's intentional at making the most of the time 18:40 she does have together with her kids. 18:43 Number four, trust God for your finances. 18:47 Now this is especially true if you're single mom. 18:51 Always, single parents live on one income usually. 18:55 I think of the widow of Zarephath. 18:57 1 Kings Chapter 17, remember? 18:59 Elijah had gone before King Ahab 19:01 and said there's gonna be a drought, 19:03 no rain for 3.5 years. 19:04 He hid away at the Brook Cherith. 19:07 And then, that brook dried up, and the Lord said, 19:09 "Go to Zarephath and there there's a widow woman 19:12 who's going to help you." 19:14 So he went and what does she say? 19:17 "I don't have any food, I'm baking the last cake." 19:21 The last bread, Pastor Kenny. 19:23 "The last oil and this is it, this is all that I have." 19:28 And yet, Elijah said, "Make a cake for me first." 19:31 Whoo! 19:33 Trust God for your finances and what happened, 19:36 the rest of the time, he was with her. 19:38 Praise God. 19:40 What happened? 19:41 The flower never diminished. 19:42 That's right. 19:44 And the oil never ran dry. 19:46 Jeremiah 32:27, 19:49 Jesus says, "Behold, I am the Lord, 19:51 the God of all flesh. 19:53 Is there anything too hard for me?" 19:55 So you might be saying, "I can't make ends meet, 19:57 I don't know 19:58 where I'm gonna pay the rent this month, 20:00 or I don't know 20:01 how I'm going to put food on the table, 20:04 or pay the electric bill." 20:06 Trust God for your finances. 20:08 Number five, tell your kids the truth. 20:12 Now this might be a little interesting 20:15 but, you know, some parents maybe there's a death, 20:19 one of the spouses died and you're afraid, 20:22 you're not sure what to tell the kids 20:24 about what took place. 20:25 Maybe there's a divorce, 20:27 you're not even sure what to say, 20:28 but be honest with your kids. 20:31 Tell them the truth. 20:32 Ephesians 4:15 says, 20:33 "But, speaking the truth in love, 20:36 that we may grow up in all things into Him, 20:39 who is the head, even Christ Jesus." 20:41 So tell them the truth. 20:43 Number six, moral forgiveness. 20:47 Ask your children for their forgiveness. 20:50 If you gone through a divorce, 20:52 that's caused your children pain. 20:54 You might need to go back to them 20:56 and to ask for forgiveness. 20:58 If you wronged your children in some fashion, 21:02 don't be too proud to go back and to say, 21:05 "I'm sorry for what I did here." 21:08 Don't walk in bitterness. 21:09 I think many times through life's experiences 21:14 whether it's a divorce or a death, 21:16 that trauma can cause a parent to become better. 21:20 They could become bitter toward their acts, 21:22 they could become bitter against God 21:24 because "Why did my spouse die 21:26 when I needed him so badly or her so badly?" 21:30 But don't walk in bitterness. 21:32 Release that bitterness. 21:34 Hebrews 12:14-15, 21:36 "Follow peace with all men, and holiness, 21:38 without which no one shall see the Lord. 21:41 Looking diligently lest anyone fail 21:44 of the grace of Christ, 21:45 lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, 21:48 and thereby many people be defiled." 21:52 So you don't want a root of bitterness 21:54 in your own heart to contaminate your home. 21:58 So allow the Lord Jesus to take out that bitterness 22:03 and to replace in your home a beautiful sweet spirit. 22:06 And finally, number seven, 22:08 become involved in service and community. 22:13 As so many times, Pastor John, I know in my own experience, 22:16 say I am going through an issue or trial or circumstance, 22:20 it's easy to wallow in your own stuff. 22:21 That's right. 22:22 You know, it's easy to... 22:24 I don't reach out. 22:25 I don't see the needs 22:27 or the problems of other people, all I see is, 22:28 "Boy, I'm facing 22:30 an insurmountable obstacle right now. 22:32 And that becomes all you see, 22:35 it's everything in front of your face. 22:37 But if you reach outside, 22:39 you say, "Okay, I don't have enough money. 22:41 Okay, I'm still trying to release this bitterness. 22:43 Okay, I'm struggling, and I'm lonely, and I'm sad." 22:46 Get out of yourself. 22:47 And I don't mean that rudely or unkindly 22:50 but get out of yourself, 22:52 look at the needs of other people, 22:54 seek to volunteer, 22:56 seek to become involved in church, 22:58 seek to have your kids involved in outreach. 23:01 That will impact your mood. 23:04 That will change you. 23:07 Galatians 6:2, we're called to, "Bear one another's burdens, 23:11 and so fulfill the law of Christ." 23:13 Now many times we think, 23:14 "Okay, I'm waiting for someone to bear my burdens." 23:16 Reach out and bear someone else's burdens. 23:20 And when you do that, 23:21 you'll find that your own burdens 23:23 become a bit lighter. 23:25 Proverbs 11:25, 23:27 "The generous soul will be made rich or fat, 23:31 and he who waters will also be watered himself." 23:35 So when you reach out and you pour 23:36 in to someone else's life, 23:39 you give and what happens? 23:41 It comes back to you. 23:43 It should be given to you. 23:44 So when and if you ever experienced 23:48 the walk of a single parent, know that you're never alone, 23:53 God the Father, 23:54 Son and Holy Spirit is with you 23:56 and God will see you through that circumstance. 23:59 Amen. That's right. 24:01 That was wonderful, Jill. 24:02 You know, we are appreciating this lesson, 24:04 but we're gonna take a short break 24:06 and we will be right back. 24:13 Ever wish you could watch 24:14 a 3ABN Sabbath School Panel again, 24:16 or share it on Facebook, Instagram or Twitter? 24:20 Well, you can by visiting 3abnsabbathschoolpanel.com. 24:24 A clean design makes it easy to find the program 24:28 you're looking for. 24:29 There are also links to the Adult Bible Study Guide 24:32 so you can follow along. 24:34 Sharing is easy. 24:36 Just click share and choose your favorite social media. 24:39 Share a link, save a life for eternity. 24:45 Welcome back to our Sabbath School Panel. 24:48 It's been going wonderful. 24:49 Jill, you did an excellent job. 24:50 But Pastor Kenny, it's your turn. 24:52 And what is the title of your lesson? 24:53 Well, the title of it is the, 24:55 "The Joy and Responsibility of Parenting." 24:57 Wow! Okay. 24:58 I think I can honestly say that these two things as reality, 25:02 as parents, there is some joy 25:05 and certainly there's a lot of responsibility. 25:08 You know, when a child comes in to the home, 25:10 nothing remains the same, 25:12 everything is different from that day forward. 25:14 Yes. 25:16 And it's not always bad, it's a good thing, 25:17 makes people happy. 25:18 So I thought that, 25:20 you know, parenting lesson brings up, 25:21 parenting is not like cooking. 25:23 You know, if you think about parenting, 25:25 it's not like cooking. 25:26 You know, sometimes I see my wife going, 25:28 you know, to the kitchen there, 25:29 and she gets out of little cook book 25:31 and she's throw little this, I'll go throw one and... 25:34 'Cause usually very few measures that, 25:35 you know, it's the way grandma use to do it, 25:37 you know that they said pinch. 25:39 Pinch of this and pinch of that, 25:40 and they put in the pot, 25:42 and so on, so forth. 25:43 And I found this out, 25:45 if you kind of follow the guidelines 25:46 and you do what you need, 25:47 put the right ingredients in and to get right cook time, 25:51 it's gonna turn up pretty nice. 25:54 But, you know, if you think about it, 25:56 you get the taste you want, and the desired look, 25:58 even you say, "Man, this is a good deal." 26:00 But, you know, parenting at least to me 26:02 is not quite the same. 26:04 Parenting is not the same at all. 26:06 And I'll give you just a few reasons for that, 26:08 just four, five of them, and there's a lot of them. 26:10 Trust me, there's a lot of them, 26:12 but still yet, you can't just do them, 26:14 pinch of this, pinch of that, 26:15 and treat all the children the very same way 26:17 because everyone is different. 26:18 Yeah. 26:20 And they're different because simply, 26:21 children are not alike, okay? 26:23 If you have 2, you have 5, you have 10, 26:26 you know, some of our family had 12 and 13, 26:29 you know, as it required, none of them was the same. 26:31 There were some different ingredients 26:33 put in there, that's what I think. 26:35 And two, you know, this children, again, 26:40 they're not the same 26:42 regardless of what happens when they're born, 26:44 they each one has a different mind, 26:46 and a different mindset and you have to approach 26:49 each child differently than you did the last one. 26:51 It'd nice if you say, 26:53 "Okay, I've got this thing working. 26:54 Now everybody we're gonna do it this way." 26:55 It just seem like it doesn't work out 26:57 that way at all. 26:58 'Cause you know why? 27:00 Because the children have a brain of their own 27:01 and you'll find that out pretty quick. 27:02 In fact, when you're three or four years old, 27:04 they learn more than you 27:05 and they're smarter than you already. 27:07 Four, some follow rules, I've found on children, 27:10 some follow rules, 27:12 and they do a real nice job of it 27:14 and there are others they think that rules are to be broken. 27:18 I wasn't necessarily rules are to broken, 27:21 but I challenge the rules a lot. 27:23 I knew what they were, I know the parameters, 27:25 I knew what happened if I did, If I didn't, 27:27 but I was one of those, 27:28 I just maybe probably wasn't easy, 27:30 you know, easy to follow. 27:32 Their rules were there and I challenged them. 27:34 And five, some children are laid back. 27:39 Yeah, really, they're laid back, 27:40 and they are easy. 27:42 You can say one time, 27:43 you know, "You don't want do this 27:45 or do that." 27:46 And usually, you don't have a problem with them. 27:48 With me it's an everyday ordeal. 27:50 I go through the same thing every day. 27:52 Mom and dad say, 27:53 "You know, Kenny, every day, 27:54 we get so tired, 27:56 you had to have a whipping every day." 27:57 You know, my uncles will say to me. 27:59 Every time I see him, 28:01 I work with him on Sunday and then... 28:02 I'm a 12 years old. 28:04 So I went to, you know, during the summertime, 28:07 and just as soon as I... 28:09 At that age, you don't like to be hassled 28:10 about getting whipping and things, you know? 28:12 And first thing he'd see me, 28:13 he say, "Kenny, have you had your whipping yet today?" 28:16 I'd say, "No, Uncle Vernon, I haven't had my whipping yet." 28:19 He'd say, "Well, I'm going to give you one 28:20 because you're gonna need it before the day is over." 28:23 And he was right. 28:24 He was right. I did need it. 28:27 But regardless of all these different things, you know. 28:30 Again, some of the children are aggressive, 28:32 you know, and you have to approach them 28:34 a whole lot different than others. 28:35 That responsibility of parent is a joy. 28:38 It brings some real joy and pursue some responsibility. 28:41 Parents are... 28:42 Proverbs 22:6 says... 28:45 This is the one everyone knows. 28:47 We hear and we quote out, "Train up a child," what? 28:49 "In the way he should go, 28:50 and when he is old he will not depart from it." 28:53 But, you know, a lot of us seeing 28:54 that experience in your home 28:56 where you receive letters and phone calls 28:57 all the time about people say, 28:59 "I trained them right, 29:00 I trained them right up and hard, 29:01 I brought them upright in the home, 29:03 but, you know, they're not in the church, 29:04 you know, they're not..." 29:05 You know, I encourage you... 29:07 It's not over with you. 29:08 You know, it's not finished yet keep praying. 29:11 And one of the last things God's gonna do 29:12 for the moms and dads is the... 29:14 Mothers, faithful mothers, that pray for your children, 29:16 I really believe that God's gonna bring him back. 29:19 Hang in there. Don't give up. 29:20 Don't quit one prayer too soon. 29:22 Sometime we quit. 29:24 Spirit of Prophecy says, 29:25 "When we quit one prayer too soon, 29:26 our prayer would have been answered 29:28 if we would have labored one more time with God." 29:30 It's important. 29:31 You know, parents are to lead the way, 29:34 and they are to teach their children 29:36 to love and to obey God. 29:38 That to me that's just the supreme, 29:40 you know, we teach them do that, 29:41 and we teach them this, Exodus 20:12. 29:45 And we should be. 29:46 It seemed like it's not being taught very much, 29:47 you know, in the world today. 29:49 It's simply one of the commandments. 29:50 It says, "You teach your child to honor your," what? 29:53 "Your father and your mother 29:55 that your days may be long upon the land, 29:57 which the Lord thy God have given thee." 29:59 We realize that we've heard all of our life. 30:01 My mom used to yell at me all the time, 30:02 "Kenny, you need to honor mom and dad, 30:04 heaven's not gonna be your home." 30:05 You need honor mom and dad because that's a promise 30:09 that God given that your days will be long. 30:12 And if I can see the reasoning behind 30:14 that now is to listen to mom and dad 30:16 is they're helping you along life's way 30:18 because there's some pitfalls, 30:20 you know, and they're trying to keep you 30:21 out of those pitfalls. 30:23 And so they give you some warnings to there, 30:24 and we some time we live a lot longer 30:26 if we don't get involved in all the things of the world. 30:28 I saw a sign. 30:30 Now I don't know where the sign was that, 30:31 you know, I'm a reader of signs. 30:33 When I go down the road, and people say, 30:34 "Well, I need be watching the road." 30:35 Well, that's true too. 30:37 Well, I'm a reader of signs, 30:38 and it seems somewhere it said this. 30:40 And this caught my attention, 30:41 Pastor, I'll tell you why 30:43 because I think it said remodeling. 30:45 When you talk about remodeling and building, 30:46 I'm always going, "Huh? 30:48 Huh? You know." 30:49 And so the sign said... 30:50 On there it said, "Want to remodel your home?" 30:52 I thought, "Hey, yeah, that's a good idea." 30:54 It said, "Take your family to church." 30:56 That's good. That's good. 30:58 Hey, somebody write that down. 31:01 You know, really, if you want to remodel your home, 31:03 you're tired of the same old, same old in the house, 31:06 and you want things to change, 31:07 you don't like the way the things are going, 31:10 you know, do some remodeling. 31:12 And I suggest this, 31:13 those who like to do the remodeling, 31:15 start with yourself. 31:16 That's where I had to start. 31:17 I have to start with remodeling by, 31:19 you know, to myself, 31:20 and ask God to remodel me the way He wants me to be. 31:22 Amen. 31:24 And as a parent, we talk about responsibilities, 31:25 and we want to make sure that our home is a model like, 31:31 you know, heaven should be. 31:32 Children need to love to be in the home, 31:34 they need to love to come home. 31:36 And it's a little foretaste of what heaven's to be. 31:37 The Adventist Home 36 says this, 31:40 it says, "A well-ordered Christian household." 31:44 I've read this many times 31:45 and sometimes it didn't make sense years ago, 31:47 and it makes a lot of sense to me now. 31:49 "A well-ordered Christian household 31:50 is a powerful argument in favor of reality 31:54 of the Christian religion. 31:57 All can see that there is an influence at work 32:00 in the family. 32:02 They would indeed be the light of the world." 32:06 It's not what scripture really tells us 32:07 that we're to be a light on the hill in that, right? 32:10 Don't hide that candle, just light it, 32:12 set it out for the world to see. 32:14 So again, notice that it's a well-ordered 32:16 Christian family, 32:18 it's not chaotic, chaos, beating, banging, thumping, 32:22 you know, sometimes going on screaming, hollering. 32:25 In some neighborhoods when you live, 32:26 there's some time you have to... 32:28 May I say, New York's much better 32:29 than I would do it around here, 32:31 but a lot of time people just have to close 32:32 their doors and windows because it gets so loud. 32:35 Things go on, you know, and it should not go on. 32:37 So a well-ordered Christian household says a lot, 32:41 the cause of Christ. 32:42 Parents, upon you rest the responsibility. 32:45 Review and Herald Article 129, 1901, 32:49 "Parents," notice this, 32:51 Upon you rest the responsibility 32:53 of being light bearers and light givers." 32:57 Notice that. "Shine as lights in the home." 33:00 And how sad, sometime we've turned the power off, 33:02 electricity. 33:03 We're not the lights that we should have been. 33:06 And, you know, we have to go back 33:07 when we've done that and raising children. 33:09 We've done the wrong thing. 33:11 We need to go back and say, "God, forgive me." 33:13 And ask our children to forgive us and say, 33:15 "I wish, by the grace of God, 33:16 we could do it all, but we can't. 33:18 We just ask for your forgiveness 33:19 and keep going." 33:21 And God says to you and He says to me today. 33:23 When I first came to Christ, been to the church many, 33:25 many years, but when conversion really came, 33:28 God didn't beat me up, He didn't say, 33:29 "Kenny, why did you... 33:30 What's all this right here?" 33:32 He simply said, "Kenny, redeem the time." 33:33 Oh, what a burden lifted, what a joy it was to realize. 33:37 He just says, "Come on, just redeem the time." 33:39 And that's what He says to families today, 33:41 and that time it can be redeemed. 33:43 "Our work for Christ is to begin with the family, 33:45 in the home... 33:47 There is no missionary field more important than this." 33:50 Testimonies 6:429. 33:53 Proverbs 20:7 says, 33:56 "The just man walketh is in his integrity, 33:58 his children are blessed after him." 34:02 Wonderful plan for the spiritual development 34:04 of our children is outlined. 34:06 I wish we had time, we don't. 34:07 We know it's outline, and I encourage you to do it. 34:09 Get in Deuteronomy Chapter 6 because it would say, 34:12 "We teach our children to recognize the Lord, our God. 34:15 We teach our children 34:17 to love God with all of our heart, 34:18 our soul, and all of our mind." 34:20 And we teach our kids... 34:21 The Word of God is a treasure. 34:24 Treat it with respect, treat it with dignity. 34:26 Don't be throwing the Bible around, 34:28 don't be disrespectful to the Word of God, 34:30 don't be respectful to your elders 34:31 and to your pastor and your teacher. 34:32 Love. 34:34 If the parents do the right thing, 34:36 you know, how wonderful it's gonna be in the home, 34:38 and how wonderful it'd be in the church too, 34:40 how much easier the work will be. 34:41 God's calling us. 34:43 Fathers and mothers, teach your children, 34:47 number one, to love Jesus with all their heart 34:50 and their mind. 34:52 And you know what? 34:53 How wonderful that'd be when Jesus will come, 34:54 we can make it to heaven together as a family. 34:56 Praise God. 34:57 Oh, wow. Praise the Lord. 34:59 That was a blessing, Brother Kenny. 35:00 In fact, there's something you just said that 35:02 really stuck out to me, 35:04 you know, if you want to remodel your home, 35:07 go to church. 35:09 I just would like to add to that 35:10 'cause it's a great principle. 35:11 You know, some people first need to go to their front door, 35:13 and they need to slide back that lock, unlock the deadbolt, 35:17 unlock the doorknob, open that door, 35:19 and let Jesus in to their home because a lot of people, 35:22 you know, they bring a lot of stuff to church 35:25 and first they need Jesus in the home. 35:28 And I believe absolutely the principles 35:29 you communicated is so wonderful. 35:32 In fact, I have a quote here from Child Guidance. 35:34 This is this comes from the book 35:36 Child Guidance page 233. 35:38 Notice what this says, 35:40 "It is the duty of those who claim 35:42 to be Christians to present to the world well-ordered, 35:48 well-disciplined families, 35:50 families that will show 35:52 the power of true Christianity." 35:55 It starts in the home. 35:56 If you want, 35:57 you know, and Pastor Lomacang is my pastor, 35:59 I know you would know this more than anything, 36:01 being a pastor for many years, 36:02 you know, you have many sheep, 36:04 and you come to know many of the difficulties, 36:06 and the trials, and the problems, 36:08 and the things that many people endure, 36:10 and a lot of it can be done away with, 36:12 a lot of that can be dealt with if people 36:14 would just invite Jesus into their home, 36:16 and they would have a personal devotion time, 36:18 a time of worship and godly men and women 36:22 who are leading and guiding and discipling their family, 36:26 discipling their children. 36:28 In fact, that's what today's lesson. 36:29 This is Wednesday's lesson, "Parenting as Disciple Making". 36:34 And so I'm, you know, I'm simply gonna be 36:36 sharing again some biblical principles 36:39 on what the Bible instructs us and counsels us 36:41 on how to disciple our children. 36:43 And so, you know, I like how this lesson 36:45 starts up because it gives kind of a contrast 36:47 between good parenting and kind of a poor parenting, 36:51 and it uses some biblical characters. 36:54 For instance, Genesis Chapter 18, 36:55 we have a wonderful example in Abraham. 36:57 Abraham, this is Genesis 18:18, 19. 37:01 I'm not gonna read it, but Abraham, he was a strong, 37:04 willing, and obedient leader in his home. 37:08 You know, was he a perfect parent? 37:09 I'm sure he was. 37:11 And I don't know of any perfect parent 37:12 that hasn't made a mistake, obviously, but he was a strong, 37:15 willing, and obedient leader in his home. 37:16 And I think that is a great example 37:18 for us to follow. 37:20 And kind of contrast to that, you go to 1 Samuel 3:10-14. 37:24 And, you know, a man of God as he was, 37:27 as the leader of his house, Eli, the priest, 37:30 did not discipline his sons, 37:32 which brought about iniquity and judgment. 37:35 And you can read that. 37:36 They are in 1 Samuel 3:10-14 about how God speaks to Samuel, 37:41 and He says, "Look, you know, I've got to bring judgment 37:43 upon the house of Eli because he did not discipline 37:47 his family correctly." 37:49 You know, truthfully, most parents believe 37:51 their parenting methods are the most efficient methods 37:53 of raising kids the right way. 37:55 You know, I think all of us... 37:57 I have not yet met a parent who has said, 37:59 you know, that, "Oh, my parenting styles 38:01 are horrible," 38:02 or "I don't raise my kids right." 38:04 Most everyone thinks in some way form 38:05 or fashion that they have the best methods. 38:08 But, you know, in the end, 38:10 it is a parent's responsibility to disciple their children 38:13 to become followers of Christ. 38:15 That's the ultimate thing. 38:17 And I love the text that we've read many times 38:19 in this panel throughout this lesson coming 38:21 from Malachi 2:15, the Bible says this, 38:25 "But did He not make them," 38:27 speaking of the husband and wife, 38:29 "One." 38:30 "Did He not make them one having a remnant of the Spirit? 38:34 And why one?" 38:35 Why did God bring this man and this woman together? 38:37 Notice, "He seeks godly offspring." 38:42 Well, how do we make that a reality in our homes? 38:44 It starts with proper disciple making, 38:48 it starts with being and setting an example 38:50 for our children to be raised in the ways of the Lord. 38:53 So I just want to just make a few remarks here, 38:56 read through a few scriptures, 38:58 as I believe the Bible is always 38:59 the best council that we can receive. 39:02 First of all, I wanna start with this one, 39:03 "Govern your kids with loving kindness." 39:07 Let's just start with that right off the bat 39:08 as we could jump into the easy, 39:10 discipline your children, which we'll get to, 39:11 but, you know, it starts with love. 39:13 Well, as we've learned in these previous lessons, 39:16 it starts with governing in your house with love, 39:18 allow the love of Christ to govern you. 39:20 Ephesians 6:4, it says, "And you, fathers, 39:24 do not provoke your children to wrath, 39:26 but bring them up in the training 39:28 in admonition of the Lord." 39:30 Amen. 39:31 Colossians 3:21 tells us, "Fathers," again, 39:34 "do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged." 39:38 And so, you know, we need to allow 39:40 the love of Christ to pour through us 39:42 as leaders of our home that our kids may see 39:46 that example and they may follow 39:47 in that example and, of course, 39:49 receive of the love 39:50 that you're bestowing upon them. 39:52 Next principle, 39:54 instruct your children in righteous. 39:57 Instruct them. And this was a big one. 39:59 Okay, Psalm 78:5, 40:01 "For He established a testimony in Jacob, 40:04 and appointed a law in Israel, 40:06 which He commanded our fathers, 40:08 that they should make them known to their children." 40:13 And, you know, I have to just pause 40:15 and say this for a moment, 40:16 I've been blessed to work with many different children, 40:20 teenagers over the years 40:21 whether it'd be through Sabbath School, 40:23 whether it'd be as a youth leader in church. 40:25 And, you know, I praise the Lord 40:27 for that opportunity. 40:28 I praise God that there are good leaders 40:30 in our church and in our local churches, 40:33 in our conferences, and so forth, and so on. 40:36 I praise God for that leadership, 40:37 that spiritual guidance to teach 40:39 and guide our children, 40:40 even at Sabbath School because we create a culture 40:42 where some of us bring our kids to Sabbath School, 40:45 and we kind of put them in the hands of someone else 40:47 for them to teach them, 40:48 but really, in the home it starts. 40:50 Instructing our children in the home 40:52 in the ways of the Lord in righteousness, in the home. 40:55 So important. 40:56 Proverbs 22:6, 40:59 and this was obviously a famous quote, 41:01 but it's very, very important, 41:03 "Train up a child in the way he should go, 41:06 and when he is old he will not depart from it." 41:09 If we follow that biblical principle, 41:11 and we allow the Lord to lead through us, 41:13 the chances of that child growing up 41:15 and being a godly, God-fearing person, 41:18 loving the Lord, loving his neighbor, 41:20 it will be established, 41:21 and they will not walk away from it. 41:22 Praise God. 41:24 You know, on that point though, 41:25 I have to also say there's a responsibility 41:27 on a part of the parents 41:29 to receive instruction themselves, 41:31 continue to allow God to mold them and shape them 41:34 that they may be that ultimate example. 41:36 Passage that comes to my mind 41:38 when I'm thinking of this very sentiment is Hosea 4:6, 41:42 which says, "My people are destroyed 41:45 for lack of knowledge. 41:46 Because you have rejected knowledge, 41:48 I will also reject you and from being preached for Me 41:52 because you have forgotten the law of your God, 41:54 I will also forget your children." 41:56 That is a sad text indeed, 41:58 but it's gonna be a reality for a lot of people. 42:00 It starts in the home with the parents. 42:03 Allow the Lord to change 42:05 your life so that you can help guide 42:07 and shape and change the lives of your children 42:09 in a positive way. 42:11 Is it a good responsibility 42:12 for us to provide for our children? 42:15 That's obviously a gimme. 42:16 2 Corinthians 12:14, 42:18 "For the children ought not to lay up for the parents, 42:21 but the parents for the children." 42:23 We have a responsibility to, again, 42:24 disciple our children and providing for their needs. 42:27 Amen. 42:28 Should parents set a good example? 42:31 Obviously, that's obvious. 42:32 That's an obvious one as well. 42:34 Titus 2:1-5, I love this council. 42:36 "But as for you, 42:38 speak the things which are proper 42:40 for sound doctrine that the older men be sober, 42:43 reverent, Vtemperate, sound in faith, 42:45 in love, in patience." 42:47 Beautiful. 42:48 "The older women likewise, 42:50 that they be reverent in behavior, 42:51 not slanderers, not given to much wine, 42:53 teachers of good things that they admonish," 42:56 notice, "the young women to love their husbands, 42:58 to love their children, to be discreet, 43:02 chaste, homemakers, good," notice, 43:05 "obedient to their own husbands," 43:07 and, of course, 43:08 "that the word of God may not be blasphemed." 43:12 Good example, setting that great example. 43:14 It's important to be a great leader 43:16 in your household whether mother or father. 43:19 You know, one who rules his own house well, 43:21 having his children in submission 43:23 with all reverence. 43:24 Again, 1 Timothy 3:4, 5, and 12, it says, 43:28 "For if a man does not know how to rule his own house, 43:31 how will he take care of the church of God? 43:34 Let deacons be the husbands of one wife, 43:36 ruling their children and their own houses well." 43:39 I mean, there's so many wonderful principles. 43:41 Of course, and we need to discipline our children. 43:43 You know, we live in an age today where, 43:46 you know, we discipline them yes, 43:47 with love and with compassion, but children need discipline. 43:51 You know, I praise the Lord 43:52 the way my parents discipline me, 43:54 and I got whoopings. 43:56 We're talked about whippings, spankings. 43:58 There's a difference in the south 43:59 between a whipping and whooping. 44:01 And I got lots of them. 44:02 You know, and not one time... 44:03 Now that I'm older, I look back and say, 44:05 "You know, Dad, Mom, 44:06 I don't like the way you disciplined me." 44:08 No, I praise the Lord, 44:09 that I had godly parents that knew 44:11 when I was doing wrong, 44:12 that there's times that I needed correction, 44:14 but I now pray for the parents of the day 44:16 because we live in an age where, 44:17 you know, it just seems like we're terrified 44:19 to instruct our children, 44:21 but I pray that we will learn to discipline our child 44:23 in the Lord with love. 44:26 We need to reflect God's loving character. 44:28 "As a father pities his children, 44:30 so the Lord pities those who fear Him." 44:32 And, of course, Jeremiah 29:11, 44:34 "For I know the thoughts that I think towards you, 44:36 says the Lord, thoughts of peace 44:38 and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope." 44:41 If when we have that love of God bestowed upon us 44:43 and our life, 44:45 and we're allowing Jesus Christ to change us, 44:47 and we are living disciples for Him, 44:50 the little ones will follow, they will follow that example. 44:53 And that is my prayer for my life, 44:55 it's my prayer for all of us on the panel, 44:57 and it's my prayer for you at home 44:58 that you will allow Jesus Christ 45:01 to transform you that the little ones 45:03 may be transformed as well. 45:05 Amen and amen. 45:06 Thank you so much, Ryan. 45:08 You know, a thought just occurred to me 45:10 when I was 13 years old, I remember praying to the Lord. 45:14 And I said... 45:16 'Cause I always wanted a lot of children, 45:18 I wanted six children. 45:21 I love children. 45:22 And that was like, 45:24 that's all I wanted to be was a wife and a mama. 45:27 And I remember praying and telling the Lord, 45:30 "Don't let me ever have children, 45:32 if they would die before me." 45:35 And JD and I were unable to have children, 45:37 we are childless, 45:39 and it was probably the greatest hurt 45:42 in my life was not being able to have a child. 45:47 But as I've grown older, 45:49 I realized that there is something 45:52 that is perhaps even worse than the death of a child. 45:58 And that is when you see your child walk away 46:00 from the faith of God. 46:02 And I wanna return to Proverbs 22:6, 46:06 and we're going to... 46:08 My lesson is Thursday's 46:10 "Fighting for your Prodigal Child". 46:13 And it says in Proverbs 22:6... 46:17 Interestingly, the lesson asks is this a guarantee, 46:23 a promise or probability? 46:25 "Train up a child in the way he should go, 46:28 and when he is old he will not depart from it." 46:32 There are a good number of scriptures in the Bible 46:35 that talk about the way of life, 46:36 the way of death, you know, the path of life. 46:39 And essentially, what we've got to remember 46:42 is every child has free will. 46:45 They're all born with the sinful nature. 46:48 So when I was talking with a young mother recently 46:52 whose daughter has such a strong personality, 46:55 and the mother's more passive, her son's passive, 46:58 she identifies with him, 47:00 her daughter's a couple of years older, and she... 47:02 It's like, "I don't know what to do with this child." 47:05 And I said, you know, think about her as being... 47:10 Her personality is like a powerful river. 47:13 And I said, "What you're doing 47:15 is trying to redirect this river." 47:18 It's like, when the army of, 47:20 you know, army corps of engineers comes in, 47:23 and they have to kind of blast out this little area 47:26 or they're may be just trying to straighten it out, 47:29 this is what parents are doing, really. 47:31 So when you train up a child in the way 47:34 they should go, it has to be age appropriate. 47:38 Please don't try to put on your child 47:42 the things that are not 47:47 appropriate to their age 47:49 because you're gonna confuse your child. 47:52 You've got to teach them God's principles, 47:54 pray with your children, 47:55 teach them the way in which they should go. 48:00 And, you know, I wanna make a very important point. 48:05 Do not make every decision for your child. 48:11 If you do you, 48:13 they will never learn how to decide for themselves. 48:16 I think the greatest thing my mother ever did 48:19 was once I got up to the age of about 10 years old... 48:25 I mean, I knew she was doing this before, 48:28 but she would always tell me, "Okay, what are your options?" 48:31 If you... 48:33 And then I'd say this and this. 48:34 Well, what will happen if you do this? 48:36 Or what will happen if you do that? 48:38 So I tried to think through the consequences. 48:41 And then about the time, 48:43 you know, she did a lot of guiding 48:44 till I was about 12, and then she'd say, 48:47 "You decide." 48:48 Sometimes I decided wrong, and I would come home 48:52 and, "Oh, Mama, you know..." 48:54 And she said, 48:55 "Well, we talked about that 48:57 that was one of the consequences." 48:59 The reason I'm saying this is I know that 49:02 there's a lot of parents who send their kids off 49:04 to maybe academies, school, 49:06 and they're 16 years old. 49:08 I would want my child, by the time my child is 15, 16, 49:14 or even earlier, you want your child to... 49:17 If they're gonna make mistakes, 49:19 let them make it while you can influence them 49:21 in the home, right? 49:23 Now I will say that the lesson basically 49:27 comes to the conclusion 49:29 that this is not a guaranteed promise 49:31 because children have minds of their own. 49:34 And it's our legist duty to train up a child, 49:39 to discipline the child. 49:41 But when you see a child walk away, 49:45 I wanna give you some promises 49:47 because I do believe I'm a prodigal child, 49:52 my husband is a prodigal son, 49:55 and the story in there is when you grew up 49:58 in a home, and you leave your home, 50:01 and then you come back, 50:02 and it's really all about 50:03 the Lord coming back to the Lord. 50:05 But we both walked away from the church 50:07 at some period in time in our life. 50:09 I mean, I was a Sunday... 50:11 You know, when I went to college, John, 50:13 you know what they said? 50:14 They call me Pollyanna and Miss goody two shoes. 50:17 I mean, I was a Sunday school teacher. 50:19 My mother always told me I was the easiest child 50:21 in the world to rear, I never did anything wrong. 50:25 I mean, she said, "You never did anything wrong." 50:27 So I was just one of those kind of kids. 50:31 But then when I... 50:32 Because of bad Bible teaching, when I was in college, 50:35 I got mad at God, shook my fist to His face, 50:38 and walked away from Him. 50:40 But He chased me down with His love. 50:43 If you have a prodigal child, 50:46 if you have a child who is walked away, 50:49 let me give you some promises. 50:50 Jeremiah 31:16-17. 50:54 Now I'm gonna read this from the Amplified. 50:58 But to me, this does give you an idea 51:02 that God's on your side. 51:04 If you've been training up your child, 51:06 you can call on Him. 51:07 And this is what it says, "Thus says the Lord, 51:10 'Refrain your voice from weeping 51:13 and your eyes from tears, 51:15 for your work,' the raising of your children, 51:19 your prayers, 'shall be rewarded,' 51:21 says the Lord. 51:23 And they, your children, 51:25 shall come back from the land of the enemy. 51:28 There is hope." 51:30 Something you can expect. 51:32 Hope in the Bible means eager expectation. 51:35 "'There is hope in your future,' 51:37 says the Lord. 51:38 'That your children shall come back 51:40 to their own border.' 51:42 " To their place of peace and safety and wellbeing. 51:47 Here's another verse from the Amplified, 51:49 Isaiah 49:25. 51:52 What a promise! 51:54 What a promise! 51:56 And you need to pray this promise. 51:59 God says, "I will contend with him who contends with you, 52:04 and I will save," I will defend, preserve, 52:07 rescue, and deliver, "your children." 52:11 So you need to pray. 52:12 I mean, claim that promise, mamas, 52:14 claim that promise, daddies. 52:16 If you've got a child that's walked away, 52:18 just say, "Lord, you said in Isaiah 49:25, 52:21 You will contend with those who contend with me, 52:24 and You're gonna save my children. 52:25 Thank you, Father." 52:26 You pray that promise Isaiah 54:13, 52:30 He says, "All your sons and daughters 52:33 will be taught by the Lord, 52:35 and great will be your children's peace." 52:40 So what you need to do 52:42 is bring your concerns to the altar. 52:45 You know, actually to the throne 52:47 of grace is where I'm gonna say. 52:48 Bring your concerns to the throne of grace, 52:52 and ask the Lord for your children's sake. 52:55 And, you know, He promises that 52:58 if you'll keep your eyes focused on Him, 53:00 trusting in Him, 53:01 He's gonna give you perfect peace. 53:03 That's Isaiah 26:3. 53:06 So He also tells us, 53:09 and I want to encourage you for this perfect peace. 53:13 Listen to this, Philippines 4:6, 7, 53:16 "Be anxious for nothing, 53:18 but in everything by prayer and supplication, 53:21 with thanksgiving, 53:22 let your requests be made known to God, 53:25 and the peace of God 53:28 which surpasses all understanding, 53:32 will guard your hearts 53:34 and minds through Christ Jesus." 53:37 You know, aren't we glad that we can cast 53:42 all of our cares upon Him? 53:44 As we were said to do because He cares for us. 53:47 Aren't we glad as Paul wrote in Philippines 1:6, 53:51 that we can be confident that the good work 53:54 God begins in us, 53:56 the good work God begins in our children, 53:58 He will be faithful to complete it. 54:00 This is why I think it is so important 54:04 to train up a child, 54:06 but some of you may not have known the Lord 54:09 when you were had your children, 54:12 and you may not have parented right, 54:14 you may need to learn how to reparent, 54:17 you may need to try now to, 54:20 you know, reach out to save those children 54:22 or maybe your children walked away. 54:24 Just remember this, 54:26 you can pray earnestly to your heavenly Father, 54:28 and He loves your children more than He does. 54:31 He wants to see them in heaven more than you do 54:34 and continue loving your child, no matter what is going on. 54:39 Remember, they are a work in progress. 54:42 Just like you and I are. 54:44 Set clear boundaries. 54:46 If you have children at home, 54:49 husband and wife should have a unified front. 54:53 And if we make mistakes, I think Jill touched on this, 54:59 be sure that you let your kids know, 55:04 "I've made a mistake, forgive me." 55:07 Focus on the future, focus on God's promises. 55:11 I leave you with this, Philippines 3:13, 55:14 "Brethren, I do not count myself 55:17 to have apprehended, but one thing I do, 55:22 forgetting those things which are behind, 55:24 reaching forward 55:26 to which those things are ahead." 55:29 Strive on to gain the prize. 55:33 Amen. That's right. 55:34 Thank you, everyone on this wonderful lesson. 55:36 And I'm wanna give each one of us 55:38 an opportunity to summarize. 55:39 Jill, I'll begin with you. 55:41 I want to read a quote from Ministry of Healing 469, 55:44 "What a man is has more influence 55:47 than what he says. 55:48 The strongest argument 55:50 in favor of the gospel is a loving 55:52 and lovable Christian." 55:54 So become the person that you want your kids to be. 55:58 Amen. Amen. 55:59 Praise the Lord. 56:00 Well, I jotted some down, 56:02 I thought, we talked about discipline. 56:03 Your first lesson of discipline 56:04 begins when your children are in your arms. 56:08 Teach them to heal their will to yours. 56:12 Teach them about God. 56:14 Amen. Amen. 56:15 Wonderful. 56:17 I have also a quote, Testimonies of the Church, 56:18 volume 6, page 93. 56:20 That says, "Religious instruction 56:21 should be given to children from their earliest years. 56:24 It should be given, not in condemned spirit, 56:28 but in a cheerful, happy spirit. 56:30 This must be a daily hourly work. 56:32 Parents, watch, watch and pray, 56:35 and make your children your companions." 56:37 And I just wanna say, 56:38 "Refrain your voice from weeping." 56:40 You know, JD works 56:41 in the Pastoral Department of 3ABN. 56:43 Daily, he gets phone calls of people 56:46 who've been watching 3ABN and saying, 56:48 "I'm coming back to church." 56:50 I mean, this happens every single day. 56:52 And sadly, it's often after a parent, 56:56 their parents have passed. 56:58 But when you wake up on that great getting up morning, 57:01 I hope you'll see your children there. 57:03 Amen. Amen, that's right. 57:04 And I heard a saying by Brad Meltzer who says, 57:07 "No matter how far we've come, our parents are always in us." 57:13 There's something about us that we will always possess 57:16 that reminds us of who our parents are. 57:19 And that's why we want Christ to come on in, 57:21 get those old parental habits out 57:23 and get the Heavenly Father in. 57:25 Well, thank you so much for joining us. 57:27 We've tried our best to bring you principles 57:29 from God's Word. 57:30 Join us next time for our next lesson, 57:32 "Times of Loss". 57:34 Until we see you then. 57:35 May God bless you. |
Revised 2019-05-16