Participants:
Series Code: SSP
Program Code: SSP190018A
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00:01 The Bible tells us, "In the beginning was the Word,
00:03 and the Word was with God, 00:05 and the Word was God." 00:08 It says to, "Receive with meekness 00:10 the implanted Word 00:12 which is able to save your souls. 00:14 And to be diligent 00:15 to present yourself approved to God, 00:18 rightly dividing the Word of truth." 00:21 Join us now 00:22 for the 3ABN Sabbath School Panel. 00:25 Our study today is Family Seasons. 00:33 Hello, and welcome 00:35 to the 3ABN Sabbath School panel. 00:37 Such a blessing to have 00:38 each and every one of you with us, 00:39 and here we are trucking along through this incredible study 00:43 on Family Seasons. 00:44 You guys enjoying it? 00:45 Amen. Amen. 00:47 It's such a powerful study. 00:48 Last week we talked about how... 00:50 You know, we're not alone. 00:51 And no matter what type of situation in life, 00:53 we are not alone. 00:54 We can count on Jesus Christ to be with us every day, 00:57 every moment, every hour, 00:59 and we praise the Lord for that. 01:01 This week, we're gonna be studying 01:03 lesson five, which is entitled, 01:06 "Wise Words for Families." 01:08 And we certainly could use that this day and age, 01:10 especially for the families of today. 01:12 I know I can use wise words all the time. 01:14 So I praise the Lord for that. 01:16 But before we go any further, 01:17 I would like to go ahead and introduce our panel. 01:20 We have to my left here, Brother Kenny Shelton. 01:22 How are you doing, Brother? 01:24 I'm doing well and blessed. Thank you. 01:25 Amen. It's a blessing to have you. 01:26 It's all good. 01:28 And Miss Jill Morikone? 01:29 Privilege to be here. 01:30 Amen. It's blessing to have you. 01:32 And Miss Shelley Quinn? 01:33 Always loved it. 01:35 And of course, to your left is my pastor, 01:37 Pastor John Lomacang. 01:38 We're gonna have another blessed time today. 01:40 This lesson has been a blessing, hasn't it? 01:42 Yeah. Absolutely. 01:43 So good to be here for that. 01:44 It is a power packed study, indeed. 01:46 In fact, I would like to go ahead 01:47 and remind you 01:48 of how you can get a copy of this lesson. 01:50 Just simply go to your local Seventh-day Adventist Church 01:52 which is what I would recommend because you know what? 01:54 We shouldn't forsake 01:56 the assembling of ourselves together, right? 01:57 And so, any opportunity that we have 02:00 that we can share God 02:02 or the message of the Lord with someone, 02:04 and what better way to do that. 02:05 So I would encourage you to go 02:06 to your local Seventh-day Adventist Church 02:08 and just simply study with them and ask them, 02:10 I'm sure they'll provide a free copy. 02:12 Nonetheless, you can also go 02:14 to ABSG.Adventist.org. 02:19 And you can access the study online for free. 02:23 And so we are, again, so excited 02:24 that you had been studying with us all this time, 02:27 and we hope you continue to study with us. 02:29 I would like to go ahead 02:31 and get us started. 02:32 But I guess before we get started, 02:35 we should have a prayer. 02:36 And I'm gonna ask Miss Shelley Quinn, 02:38 if she would say a prayer for us. 02:39 Absolutely. 02:41 Heavenly Father, we come in the name of Jesus before You 02:44 to praise Your holy name, to Thank You, Lord, 02:47 that not only for Jesus and Your Spirit, 02:50 but to thank You for Your Word, Father, 02:52 that is a lamp to our feet. 02:55 And, Father, we need uncommon wisdom 02:59 in these days 03:01 to be able to combat the enemy. 03:03 So we ask in the name of Jesus, thank You for this lesson. 03:07 Let us speak in here, 03:09 what the Holy Spirit has to say to Your people, 03:12 in Jesus' name, amen. 03:14 Amen. 03:15 Amen. 03:17 Wise words for families. 03:20 Our memory text for this week 03:22 is indeed a wise text. 03:24 It's Proverbs 3:5-6. 03:26 We've used this text 03:28 quite often throughout this study, 03:29 and I'm sure you'll probably see it 03:31 a few more times. 03:32 But the Bible tells us, 03:33 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart 03:36 and lean not on your own understanding. 03:39 In all your ways, 03:41 acknowledge Him 03:43 and He shall direct your path." 03:47 You know, no matter what family situation 03:50 you may be currently experiencing, 03:54 and no matter what phase of your life 03:55 you may be going through. 03:58 The Book of Proverbs seems to have something 04:00 for everyone in the family. 04:01 In fact, every time I open the Book of Proverbs, 04:03 it's such a blessing, 04:04 because there's such wise instruction there. 04:06 In fact, I like to just remind people 04:08 that the author of this book was Solomon, 04:10 the Son of David, who, of course, we know, 04:13 historically and biblically, 04:14 was the wisest man to ever live. 04:16 And so we know, we don't put emphasis on man, 04:18 but on the Lord, but I praise God 04:20 that through this man, 04:22 we have such wise comments, such wise instruction. 04:26 And you know, similar to the Book of Deuteronomy, 04:28 Proverbs is a book of instruction, 04:30 from father to son, 04:32 and so it has that family aspect to it. 04:34 In fact, Proverbs 1:8, 04:37 notice what it says here, 04:38 "My son, 04:40 hear the instruction of your father, 04:42 and do not forsake the law of your mother." 04:46 So it is through the divine instruction 04:48 of Proverbs, 04:50 the father bids us to follow His instruction. 04:52 And so we have a responsibility on our part 04:55 to listen to the instruction again. 04:57 Even in the Book of Proverbs, 04:59 I often think of this scripture, 05:00 Proverbs 14:12, 05:02 which says, "There is a way which seemeth right to us." 05:04 And many times our own will tends 05:06 to step in front or eclipse 05:08 that of the will of God. 05:10 But we need to just allow God's Word 05:11 to speak directly to us. 05:13 I would like to launch us directly into Sunday's lesson, 05:16 which is entitled, "Love the Right Woman." 05:20 Before we get right into this particular text 05:24 found in the study, 05:26 I was doing a little bit of research 05:27 and I found some interesting data. 05:31 I was looking at a public health report 05:33 and the data that I found was so interesting, 05:36 an eye opening that it felt, 05:37 I mean, just to me, 05:39 it felt like it went right in with this lesson. 05:41 The data from 2002 survey 05:45 indicates that by age 20, okay, 05:48 so this is 2002, 05:49 some would says it's a little dated, 05:51 but I'm gonna work us up to today's time, 05:53 so 2002 by age 20, 05:55 77% of respondents had sex, 06:01 75% had premarital sex, 06:05 and 12% of those only had married, 06:08 okay? 06:09 By age 44, 06:11 okay, so notice this. 06:12 By age 44, 06:14 90% of the respondents, okay? 06:17 Of those had premarital sex. 06:22 This is some hard statistics, 06:23 but it's very much gonna go right into our study. 06:25 Even among those 06:27 who abstained under the age of 20, 06:29 81% of those had premarital sex by age 44. 06:35 And the statistics are astounding. 06:37 Now, bringing it up to our day, check this out. 06:40 A 2013 statistic report, 06:43 reported that 65 to 70% of Americans 06:49 thought that premarital sex was not a moral issue, 06:53 and was completely acceptable. 06:55 This is much more recent. 06:57 So as recent as just a few years ago, 06:58 when Americans were polled, 07:00 more than half, well more than half, 07:01 almost three fourths of the people 07:03 who were polled saw this as not a moral issue, 07:05 completely acceptable. 07:07 Only about 30% or so said, 07:09 "That's kind of unacceptable." 07:10 And that kind of gives us an insight to the mentality 07:13 and the minds of people today 07:15 when it comes to human sexuality. 07:17 And you know, the Bible gives us 07:18 a lot of insight. 07:20 And I just wanna say really quickly on the title of this, 07:21 I think that the writer of this title did very well, 07:24 "Love the Right Woman," 07:25 but I just wanna add you know what? 07:26 Love the right man also. 07:28 And this goes both ways. 07:29 And I know that the writer implies 07:31 that all through this study as well. 07:33 I want to start with Proverbs 3:5, 07:35 excuse me, Proverbs 5:3-14. 07:39 We have a little bit of instruction here 07:42 on the type of woman that we should probably avoid 07:45 or I would just wanna say the type of person 07:47 we should try to avoid. 07:48 But notice here. 07:49 "For the lips 07:51 of the adulterous woman drip honey, 07:53 and her speech is smoother than oil. 07:56 But in the end, she is bitter as gall." 07:58 And I wanna remind you here, 08:00 I'm actually reading from the NIV, 08:02 when I was studying some of these texts in Proverbs 08:04 reading it in the King James, the New King James, 08:05 there was some texts, they're little challenging. 08:09 So I went over, checked and made sure 08:10 the translation went across. 08:12 It was very nice, 08:13 and I felt like some of the words here 08:15 were much more straightforward. 08:16 Notice here, verse 5, 08:17 "Her feet go down to death, 08:20 her steps lead straight into the grave. 08:22 She gives no thought to the way of life, 08:24 her paths wander aimlessly, 08:27 but she does not know it. 08:29 Now then, my sons, listen to me, 08:31 do not turn aside from what I say. 08:33 Keep to a path far from her, 08:36 do not go near the door of her house, 08:39 lest you lose your honor to others 08:41 and your dignity to the one who is cruel." 08:45 It goes on to say, "Lest strangers feast 08:47 on your wealth 08:48 and your toil enrich the house of another. 08:50 At the end of your life you will groan, 08:53 when your flesh and body are spent. 08:56 You will say, 'How I hated discipline! 08:59 How my heart spurned correction! 09:02 I would not obey my teachers 09:03 or turn my ears 09:06 to my instructors. 09:08 And I was soon in serious trouble 09:10 in the assembly of God's people.' 09:12 " You know, I just have to say this, 09:14 the lesson brings this out 09:15 casual sexual liaisons lack commitment. 09:19 Amen. 09:21 Commitment and therefore fall far short 09:25 of true intimacy. 09:26 You know, we live in a day and age 09:28 where people having this idea that, you know, 09:31 a sexual relationship outside 09:33 of the harmonious commitment 09:35 that God established through marriage 09:37 brings happiness, brings peace, 09:38 but actually it brings destruction. 09:39 Amen. 09:41 And then studies are showing, even scientific studies today, 09:43 counselors and psychologists 09:45 and these experts are looking into it 09:47 and they're finding even outside of biblical counsel, 09:50 they're finding that this is detrimental. 09:53 It's important for us to understand 09:56 and comprehend that this is killing 09:58 our relationships, it's killing ourselves. 10:00 Yes. 10:01 Most important, one must answer to God 10:03 for these choices made in life. 10:05 This is very important. 10:06 You know, I just wanna make, mention here. 10:08 There's a difference between love and lust. 10:10 Yes. 10:11 And many times people mistake lust for love. 10:14 And that's simply not the case. 10:16 In fact, we have biblical counsel 10:17 on this straight from Jesus' famous passage, 10:20 Matthew 5:27-28. 10:22 Notice what Jesus says here, 10:24 and I would say this goes for just 10:25 as much a woman as it does a man but again, 10:28 notice what Christ says beginning with verse 27. 10:30 He says, "You have heard that it was said to those of old, 10:33 'You shall not commit adultery.' 10:36 But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman 10:38 to lust for her 10:39 has already committed adultery 10:41 within his heart.'" 10:43 Okay, well, yes, within her heart, in his heart. 10:46 So very, very plainly here Christ is establishing, 10:49 He's going back to the basics of the Ten Commandments. 10:51 He's saying, look, you know, 10:53 it's clearly established 10:54 that you shouldn't commit adultery, 10:55 but I'm gonna take it a step further, look, 10:57 you may not have actually 10:58 participated in the physical act. 11:00 But looking upon a woman that is not your wife, 11:02 that is not your companion, 11:03 you know, committed within the Lord, 11:05 you are committing adultery in your heart, 11:07 you're setting yourself up for destruction. 11:10 Again, Matthew 19:5-6, Jesus says, 11:14 "For this reason 11:15 a man shall leave his father and mother 11:17 and be joined to his, his wife, 11:21 and the two shall become one flesh. 11:23 So then they are no longer two but one flesh. 11:26 Therefore what God has joined together, 11:29 let not man separate." 11:30 I just wanna emphasize there what God has joined together. 11:34 Okay, in this conversation of human sexuality 11:38 and choosing in loving the right person, 11:41 the right companion, the right spouse, 11:43 you know, make sure God has put it together. 11:45 There's a preparation that goes to that. 11:47 You know, Christ is the creator, 11:49 who of any person would know best how, 11:53 you know, how He established things 11:54 and put this together. 11:56 He knows better than anyone what the original plan was. 11:58 He created us. 12:00 He established marriage 12:01 right there in the Garden of Eden 12:02 before there ever was sin, 12:04 so what better person to hear counsel 12:05 from than Jesus Christ. 12:06 Also wanna jump right here to 1 Corinthians 7:3-4. 12:10 It says, "Let the husband render to his wife, 12:12 the affection due to her," 12:14 notice the emphasis on the wife, his wife. 12:16 So in other words, we're implying here 12:18 very clearly and communicating 12:19 that a relationship, 12:21 any type of inappropriate relationship, 12:23 sexual relationship outside of marriage 12:26 is not biblical. 12:28 In fact, I'm astounded. 12:29 I was talking to you guys earlier about this. 12:31 You know, I'm astounded by how many people 12:33 do not understand the concept of fornication 12:35 and it breaks my heart 12:37 because that is a sin in the eyes of God. 12:39 Hebrews 13:4, 12:41 "Marriage is honorable among all 12:43 and the bed undefiled, 12:45 but fornicators and adulterers, 12:47 God will judge." 12:48 This is a very strong language indeed, 12:50 but it's truth 12:51 and it's instruction for us to adhere to. 12:54 I just wanna end with this. 12:56 Romans 12:1-2, one of my favorite scriptures. 12:59 "I beseech you therefore, brethren, 13:01 by the mercies of God, 13:02 that you present your bodies, 13:04 a living sacrifice, 13:05 holy, acceptable to God, 13:07 which is your reasonable service. 13:09 And do not be conformed to this world, 13:10 but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, 13:14 that you may prove 13:15 what is that good and acceptable, 13:17 perfect will of God." 13:18 "Let this mind be in you." 13:20 Philippians 2:5. 13:22 We should be adopting the mind of Christ, 13:23 the mind of the Creator. 13:25 He established marriage, 13:27 love the right woman, love the right man, in the Lord 13:30 and within the Council of Scripture. 13:32 Amen. Amen. 13:33 Praise the Lord. 13:35 Oh, here he set it up, didn't he? 13:36 I'm feeling wonderful. 13:37 Praise God. Very good job. 13:39 And I have Monday, 13:40 Monday's lesson, it's called, you know, 13:42 "A Call to the Fathers." 13:43 And so I think it's, you know, 13:45 the father's make sure your mouths are off 13:47 and so on and so forth. 13:48 So we can hear some of the counsel 13:49 that God gives us from the Word. 13:51 I think sometime 13:53 we forgotten the importance of fathers in the home 13:55 and I realized the importance of father and mother. 13:58 But father has responsibility, mother has responsibility 14:00 and we need to answer to that call 14:02 because God has called us 14:04 to set the example for our children for sure. 14:07 Ephesians 6:4, 14:09 the Bible says, 14:10 "And you, fathers, " so starts out, 14:12 Ephesians 6:4, "And you, fathers, " 14:15 notice this it says, provoke. 14:16 What? What do you provoke? 14:18 Not. Not. 14:19 "Not your children to wrath." 14:20 And sometime I think we aggravate them 14:22 till they get a little upset. 14:24 Sometime by not following through with the commands 14:26 that we have made or whatever through their, 14:28 it makes a little more difficult 14:30 to come back. 14:31 Sometime they just get little aggravated 14:32 about things, 14:34 but "Provoke not your children to wrath, 14:35 but bring them up in the," what? 14:37 "Nurture and admonition of the Lord." 14:40 I thought how interesting that is 14:42 because you look up into the provoke, 14:44 that simply don't bring them to anger. 14:46 Try not to upset them, try not to get them mad, 14:49 but there's times, sometimes it's situations you need 14:51 to bring things to the forefront there. 14:54 But in that passage, it says to nurture them 14:56 and that means dealing with education. 14:59 Fathers need to a certain amount 15:00 to educate our children 15:02 which simply means train them up, 15:04 bring them up in a way they should go. 15:07 And it implies, 15:09 the word here implies correction. 15:11 Sometime we forget that. 15:12 We say, "Well, we just train and then we educate, " 15:15 but it implies correction and discipline. 15:19 Right. 15:20 And so we have to figure out 15:21 how the best discipline will work for each child 15:23 which is little bit different for sure. 15:25 So there is a call upon us 15:27 in the admonition of the world of the Lord. 15:31 So mild rebuke 15:32 or warning to help to understand. 15:36 I think we need that. 15:38 The father's job is important to be able 15:40 to raise the children. 15:41 And sometimes there's a mild, didn't say heavy duty, 15:43 just said a mild rebuke, 15:45 whatever it takes to get that little twig 15:46 to bend it at an early age, 15:48 I think is so, so very important. 15:49 Because once it gets little bigger, 15:51 it's just hard to bend that twig anymore. 15:53 So success in anything 15:55 depends upon the condition of the heart. 15:58 I think someone mentioned that before. 16:00 Interesting. 16:01 We look at this here success in everything. 16:04 Anything that we do 16:05 has to do with the heart, 16:07 has to do with the mind. 16:08 Proverbs 3:5-6, 16:10 someone may have read that, it says, 16:12 "You know, just trust in the Lord 16:13 with all your," what? 16:15 "Heart." Heart. 16:16 So I encourage the fathers to trust in the Lord 16:17 with all of your heart. 16:19 Because you're leading out, 16:21 you're supposed to lead out. 16:22 That's your job in the home and in the family. 16:25 This one here, you read, someone read while ago. 16:28 It says, "Trust in the Lord with all thine heart 16:30 and then lean not," 16:32 in Proverbs 3:5-6, "into your," what? 16:34 "Thine own understanding." 16:36 You read while ago. 16:37 Now notice this in verse 6, 16:38 "In all thy ways acknowledge Him 16:40 and He shall direct thy paths." 16:43 I thought those are some interesting words, 16:44 at least to me. 16:45 I mean, we can read through them right quick 16:47 and then maybe not quite grasp 16:48 what it really means in here. 16:50 Lean, 16:52 don't lean or don't rely on self. 16:55 This is what I thought. This is what the world does. 16:57 This is what somebody else has done. 16:59 We need not to lean, 17:01 prop our self up on other people's understanding 17:03 or maybe our own. 17:04 We need to prop our self up on the Word of God for sure. 17:09 Verse 6 says, "In all thy ways, acknowledge Him, 17:13 and He shall direct thy paths." 17:15 I thought, there we're again, 17:16 He's gonna direct, 17:17 He's gonna give us directions, 17:19 He's gonna show us 17:20 which way to go in our family, with our children. 17:24 I think it's Psalm 16:11. 17:26 It says, "Thou wilt show me the path of life." 17:28 This is a promise. 17:30 If we ask God to direct our path, 17:31 He's gonna show us the path, 17:33 He's gonna direct us, absolutely. 17:34 Knowledge, knowledge him. 17:37 Let's consider. 17:38 Think about we need to consider, 17:40 we need to observe, 17:41 how do we acknowledge God? 17:43 Are there a lot of different ways 17:45 we can acknowledge God? I believe that there is. 17:46 Acknowledge God, we can do... 17:47 In other words, it's saying here, 17:49 we need to consider God, 17:50 we need to observe God, 17:52 we need to tell others about God, 17:53 we need to have, 17:55 you know, to recognize that He's God, 17:56 we need to understand God 17:58 and as a father understands these issues 18:00 that really he should bring in certainly into the home. 18:02 Manuscript 33, in 1911, this was written. 18:05 It says, "The unlearned man, 18:07 if he knows God, and Jesus Christ 18:09 has a more enduring wisdom than the most learned man 18:13 who despises the instructions of God." 18:16 So it says, you don't have to be very smart, 18:17 God gives wisdom, isn't that right? 18:19 That's right. Amen. 18:20 He's more interested in our children than we are. 18:22 Absolutely. 18:24 God wants them in heaven more than we want them in heaven, 18:26 and He's certainly given instructions on prayer. 18:28 What is the father? 18:29 Somebody has said, "What is the father?" 18:30 You know, what does he do here? 18:33 From one, he's a priest of the household. 18:35 That's what the Word of God says. 18:37 And I would say this, 18:38 lot of men need to step up to the plate, 18:39 don't be hiding in the dugout. 18:42 Somebody get that next week 18:43 but there's still some we have to think about. 18:44 We need to step up to the plate. 18:46 Why? 18:47 Because God said so, that's why, 18:49 in a balanced way here for sure. 18:51 In the council... 18:54 I think it was Child Guidance. Yeah, 521. 18:57 It says here, 18:58 "He should conduct a morning and evening worship, 19:01 and by his own example, 19:02 teach the children to pray." 19:04 So we step up, the father in the home should lead out 19:06 in worship in the morning, should lead out in at night. 19:09 And by his own lips, his own words, 19:11 teach our children to pray. 19:13 Realize how many of our children 19:14 get 8, 9, 10, 11, 12 years old, 19:16 and they've never prayed out loud. 19:19 And some are 30, some are 40, 19:21 and they still won't pray out loud. 19:22 I'm not trying to condemn anybody 19:24 that does or doesn't. 19:25 I'm just simply saying, 19:26 I believe that needs to be taught in the home 19:28 to where it's just a common thing 19:29 is maybe we break out in the song sometime 19:31 is to learn to pray, learn to talk, 19:32 certainly to Jesus, the father will do that. 19:34 The father is to be the house band of the family. 19:37 The father holds the house together. 19:40 That was God's intention for that. 19:42 Letter 18 in 1891 says, 19:44 "The Lord had constituted that the husband, 19:46 the head of the wife, to be the protector, " 19:49 that's in Ephesians 5:23, "the protector." 19:51 So he is the house band. 19:54 Something happened, someone breaks into the home, 19:56 really the father's job 19:57 is to try to get things corrected. 19:59 Get thing, make sure no one's hurt 20:00 that are in that family. 20:01 And certainly we're talking spiritually here. 20:03 And it goes on to say, we need... 20:05 What he needs to do to balance it up, 20:07 everybody, the father say some time, 20:09 "Well, I'm the head of the wife, 20:10 I'm this and that." 20:12 It simply said, I like this,w 20:13 "Don't let the husband exercise his power," 20:16 notice this, 20:17 "and imitate the great head of the church." 20:19 Yes. Amen. 20:20 That's the way to do it, isn't it? 20:22 Proverbs 13:22, says, 20:23 "A good man leaveth an inheritance 20:25 to his children's children." 20:27 Sometime we don't have very much 20:29 but it says to leave that inheritance 20:30 to the children's children, 20:31 even more than material things. 20:33 I think it's so important that we leave their children 20:35 and as a good father, a good spiritual path 20:38 in which to walk. 20:40 Every father should be interested 20:41 in what's going to happen to his children, 20:43 and certainly to become heirs of salvation. 20:46 The Bible talks about in Hebrews 1:14, 20:49 "Inheritance, incorruptible," the Bible says, 20:52 "undefiled and that fadeth not away," 20:54 1 Peter 1:14. 20:56 So that's what we want to leave behind. 20:58 We're talking spiritual things, 21:00 not the material things necessarily. 21:01 We're talking about spiritual inheritance 21:04 father needs to leave. 21:05 A good father wants his children to be humble. 21:08 I wanna make this point, 21:09 teach the children to be humble. 21:11 That means, you know, 21:12 that's also a condition of the heart, to be humble. 21:14 It's hard to teach children to be humble 21:16 when we're... 21:17 Oh, boy, look out. 21:19 When we're always praising them, 21:20 when we're always elevating, 21:22 we're telling how good looking they are 21:23 or how smart they are, 21:24 everything that they can do. 21:26 It's hard to have a nice little humble mind, 21:27 isn't it? 21:29 Think about, we need to be very careful 21:30 that which we bestow upon our children 21:31 because that's what they become like, 21:33 they begin to think that's really what I am 21:35 rather than a teachable spirit. 21:39 The Bible says, you know, "In good time, 21:41 the Lord will exalt you, 21:42 He'll elevate you in good time." 21:44 "Cast all your cares," 1 Peter says, 21:46 "all your cares on Him because He," what? 21:48 "Cares for you." 21:49 "Because He cares for you." 21:51 You wanna be a good husband, you wanna be a good father, 21:53 cast your cares on Him. 21:55 Go to God and tell Him, we made mistakes. 21:57 Go to Him and say I made a lot of mistakes. 21:58 Not a one of us probably would look 22:00 around in our life and say, 22:02 "Oh, yeah, I did everything exactly right." 22:03 No, I made a lot of mistakes. 22:04 You look back, now it's easy to see those things. 22:07 But you know, to certain extent I think they can, 22:09 they really can be rectified by the grace of God 22:11 to set the right example and the right influence. 22:14 So we need to... 22:15 He said, He may exalt you. 22:17 To me the exalt is to lift you up. 22:18 He says, one of these days I'm gonna lift you up, 22:20 notice that, in due time. 22:22 I thought what? 22:24 Not in our time necessarily 22:25 'cause we're praying for salvation of our children, 22:27 praying for salvation of our grandchildren, 22:29 praying to be the right thing, 22:30 but God says in due time. 22:32 And I like that song, 22:34 "In His Time." 22:36 In His time, He does all things beautiful, what? 22:39 In His time. 22:40 God does it in His time. Just hang in there. 22:42 Proverbs 15:1, 22:43 just simply says as follows, we need to learn that, 22:45 "A soft answer turneth away," what? 22:47 "Wrath." 22:48 "Turneth away wrath, grievous word stir up anger." 22:52 So in the flesh, natural man sometime we look 22:54 and when we tend to fight fire with fire. 22:57 Let's be careful that we don't do that. 22:59 Let's be what God wants us to be, fathers. 23:01 He's given us a call. 23:03 And that just simply means you know, 23:04 get the kids up and send them to church. 23:05 I really believe you need to get up 23:07 and you need to go with him. 23:08 They need mom and dad both in the family. 23:10 That's so important part. 23:11 That's the way God instituted it. 23:13 So I encourage you today as God has called you, 23:15 that you rise up to that occasion, 23:17 and you say by God's grace 23:18 you say, you can't do it, you can, 23:20 all things are possible. 23:21 Simply by God's grace, 23:22 get up and say God, 23:24 what You said in Your Word, 23:25 I wanna fulfill in my heart. 23:27 I wanna fulfilled in my life, 23:28 where I failed, I'm miserably sorry. 23:29 Help me to do all I can. 23:31 Make sure things are set right. 23:32 Because I want to see my children, 23:33 grandchildren in the kingdom 23:35 and because you've called, 23:36 you've chosen, you will send. 23:40 Wow! Praise the Lord. 23:42 Well, we're not quite through yet with the study, 23:44 we still have much more to come 23:45 but for right now we're gonna take a short break. 23:47 We'll be right back. 23:54 Ever wish you could watch 23:55 a 3ABN Sabbath School panel again 23:57 or share it on Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter? 24:00 Well, you can by visiting 3abnsabbathschoolpanel.com. 24:05 A clean design makes it easy 24:08 to find the program you're looking for. 24:10 There are also links to the Adult Bible Study Guide 24:14 so you can follow along. 24:15 Sharing is easy. 24:17 Just click share 24:18 and choose your favorite social media. 24:20 Share a link, 24:21 save a life for eternity. 24:26 Welcome back. 24:27 It's a blessing to have you with us. 24:28 We're gonna move on to Tuesday's lesson 24:30 with Miss Jill Morikone on Correction with Love. 24:33 That's right. Thank you, Ryan. 24:34 What an incredible study! 24:36 I've been so blessed hearing and learning 24:39 from each one of you 24:40 and Correction with Love is on disciplining 24:42 and correcting children. 24:44 I just wanna say at the outset here, 24:46 you all know Greg and I do not have any kids. 24:49 So with the principles 24:51 that I'm gonna be talking about today, 24:53 five biblical principles of godly discipline. 24:57 You know, Pastor John, 24:58 we got to get our list in there, 24:59 five biblical principles of godly discipline 25:01 that these are gleaned from the Word of God. 25:05 But I'm not speaking from experience, 25:07 although I had plenty of discipline growing up. 25:10 So I have remembrance of discipline. 25:12 But whether you have experienced or not, 25:15 the Word of God is sure 25:16 and we can trust in that, 25:18 in the principles we can find. 25:20 Failure to discipline leads to unhappy children, 25:23 resentful children, angry children, 25:27 children who lack self control, 25:29 who don't respect authority, 25:32 children who are selfish. 25:34 Proper discipline leads to self-discipline, 25:37 self-control, self-confidence, 25:40 respect for other people, both peers and authority, 25:44 the ability to cooperate with others, 25:47 accountability and more friends. 25:50 I think there's two categories 25:52 that ungodly discipline falls into, 25:54 and then we'll talk about godly discipline. 25:56 The first category would be failure to discipline 25:59 with kindness and love. 26:01 These are people who discipline in anger. 26:03 You've seen this. 26:05 I've seen it many times in the supermarket. 26:06 The mom says, "No, don't get that candy." 26:08 And the kid squawks a bit and the mom says, 26:10 "No! I said no!" 26:11 And the kid squawks a bit more. 26:13 And then she loses her temper, 26:15 and she starts to yell and scream at the kids 26:17 in order to get attention, 26:19 in order to have the child 26:20 even listen to her and obey her. 26:23 That's disciplining with anger. 26:24 That is not good discipline. 26:26 There's also disciplining because you're embarrassed. 26:30 Maybe your child is socially embarrassing you 26:33 and you think, "I just got to correct this right now 26:35 and I got to do something about it." 26:37 That's not a godly discipline either. 26:40 There's also discipline as a form of punishment. 26:43 Now, we'll get into exactly what that means later. 26:46 The other category, I would say, 26:48 would be failure to discipline in general. 26:51 Maybe it's laziness, too tired to correct this behavior. 26:54 Too tired or playing lazy to just take care of it. 26:59 Maybe it's fear. 27:00 I wanna be friends with my kid 27:02 and I don't wanna hurt their feelings. 27:06 Maybe it's a fear 27:07 because your own parent disciplined you 27:09 wrongly as in, abused you and you're afraid, 27:14 if you're gonna spank a kid, 27:15 what if I'm gonna become like my parents, 27:17 so maybe you're afraid 27:18 and you back away from discipline. 27:21 Maybe it's just avoiding conflict. 27:23 Godly discipline, 27:25 I believe it's all about redemptive correction. 27:28 The goal of discipline is redemptive correction. 27:33 It's not about trying to control your child, 27:35 but about teaching them to control themselves, 27:38 or rather, 27:39 teaching them how to submit to God's control. 27:43 It's not about punishing a child for doing wrong 27:45 but about setting boundaries and parameters 27:49 for when those rules are broken. 27:51 It's about teaching right from wrong. 27:53 It's about teaching boundaries and consequences. 27:56 It's about teaching submission to our Heavenly Father. 28:00 That's right. 28:01 It's not punishment nor an expression of, 28:03 "I'm the boss and I'm the one in charge." 28:05 It's redemptive correction. 28:07 The purpose of godly discipline 28:10 is to lead those kids to Jesus. 28:13 My sister has four boys and they're very active, 28:16 and in the home they can be quite active. 28:18 Now Caleb's seven, 28:20 but when he was little, maybe three, 28:21 just talking and you know, running around, 28:23 I remember he was being naughty. 28:26 My sister corrected him. 28:28 And he's just tears streaming down his face 28:30 and crying and all upset. 28:32 But yet his little voice crying out Jesus, 28:36 help me be good. 28:39 And I thought, 28:40 that is the goal of godly disciplining, 28:43 training children to reach out to Jesus 28:47 because that's me every day Jesus, 28:49 help me be good 28:50 because I surely need help today. 28:53 So let's look at five principles 28:55 of godly discipline. 28:57 Principle number one, 28:58 children follow what they see modeled. 29:02 Amen. 29:03 That's the first principle of godly discipline. 29:05 1 Corinthians 11:1, Paul says, 29:07 "Imitate me, just as I imitate Christ." 29:11 In Greek, the word for imitate is actually "mimic." 29:15 So if parents model Jesus, 29:19 if they model His character, and His godly traits, 29:23 what happens? 29:25 The children will begin to follow 29:27 what they see modeled in the home. 29:29 Choose to follow Christ, 29:31 choose to mimic and to model Him, 29:33 and your children will follow in that same behavior. 29:37 I remember my mom, 29:39 and she would be very open and candid with you about this 29:42 that she used to have a temper when I was young growing up. 29:45 And when God got a hold of her and she met Jesus, 29:48 and she changed the behavior that she modeled for me 29:53 was the reason I chose to follow Jesus myself. 29:55 Amen. 29:56 Because of the behavior that she modeled, 29:58 so principle one is children follow what they see modeled. 30:01 Principle two, 30:03 love precedes any discipline. 30:06 Turn with me to Proverbs 3. 30:08 Proverbs 3:11-12, 30:12 "My son, do not despise the chastening of the Lord, 30:16 nor detest His correction. 30:18 For whom the Lord hates He corrects..." 30:20 What does it says? 30:21 "For whom the Lord loves He corrects, 30:24 just as a father, the son in whom he delights." 30:28 So the love comes before the discipline. 30:31 In other words, because God loves us, 30:34 He corrects us. 30:35 Because you love your children, 30:37 you need to administer some godly discipline. 30:41 If you don't love your kids first, 30:43 discipline is ineffective 30:45 and you have no basis for correcting them. 30:47 So delight in your kids, spend time with them, 30:51 love them, 30:52 and that will make a difference. 30:53 Pastor Kenny, I was spanked more than my share 30:57 when I was young growing up. 30:59 And I remember one time in particular, 31:01 I was probably ten, 31:02 and I had really pushed my mom's buttons 31:04 and I knew I was in for spanking, 31:06 you just know it's coming. 31:07 And I was in the bedroom and she comes in, 31:09 and I thought, "Okay, this is it, 31:11 you know, I know it's coming." 31:13 And instead she knelt down, and she began to cry. 31:16 Yes. 31:17 And she said, "God forgive me 31:20 for not being a better parent to Jill. 31:22 Help me know how to do this mom thing." 31:25 That broke me 31:27 more than any other spanking ever could, 31:29 and we're not saying there are times 31:31 to properly administer a little swat. 31:34 I'm not saying that, but in this case, 31:37 that love that she had for me, 31:39 that's what melted and broke my heart. 31:41 Amen. 31:42 Principle number three, 31:44 discipline trains you and I in holiness. 31:47 Now, this is for us as adults, 31:48 God disciplines us to train us in holiness, 31:51 but as parents, discipline your children, 31:53 train them to follow after God. 31:55 Hebrews 12:10-11, 31:57 "For they, the fathers, indeed for a few days 32:00 chastened us as seemed best to them, 32:03 but He," meaning God, 32:04 "He does it for our profit, 32:06 that we may be partakers of His holiness. 32:09 Now no chastening for the present 32:11 seems to be joyous, but grievous. 32:13 Nevertheless, afterward 32:15 it yields the peaceable fruit of righteousness 32:19 to those who are exercised by it." 32:21 Proverbs 23:13-14, 32:24 "Do not withhold correction from a child, 32:26 for if you beat him with a rod, he will not die. 32:30 You shall beat him with a rod, 32:31 and deliver his soul from hell." 32:34 Yes. 32:35 That means godly discipline 32:37 trains young people in holiness. 32:40 Proverbs 22:15, 32:41 "Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child, 32:45 but the rod of correction will drive it far from him." 32:49 That's right. 32:50 The word for foolishness in Hebrew means folly, 32:52 but it's the same root word as evil. 32:54 So in other words, all children have a natural tendency 32:58 bent that sinful nature toward evil, 33:02 but yet, 33:03 discipline properly administered 33:05 will work to drive that from them. 33:08 Principle number four, 33:09 discipline consistently and promptly. 33:14 Love here is still the primary discipline, 33:16 not forced, but it needs to be consistent. 33:18 I can remember one time sitting at a table 33:20 and not liking the food I was given. 33:23 Telling my mom, "I don't like that food." 33:25 She said, "Oh, you said, you don't like it, 33:27 I'll give you more." 33:28 And I got another helping on my plate. 33:30 And I said, "What you mean giving me more? 33:32 I said, I don't like this food." 33:33 She gave me a third helping and I said, 33:35 "Jill, you better shut your mouth." 33:37 So I did, 33:38 but it was like I was trying to gag 33:40 as I was trying to eat, I couldn't eat it very well. 33:43 She said, "No problem, I'll take the food, 33:44 you don't have to eat it." 33:45 And I was delighted. 33:47 Then the next meal, 33:48 everybody had their favorite food, 33:50 and I had the warmed over food from before. 33:53 That is consistent discipline 33:55 and I learnt from that experience. 33:57 You eat it quickly and you don't complain. 34:00 Discipline consistently and promptly. 34:04 Proverbs 13:24, 34:05 "He who spares his rod hates his son, 34:09 but he who loves him disciplines him promptly." 34:13 And finally, principle number five, 34:15 resistance to discipline or failure 34:17 to discipline results in destruction. 34:20 True. 34:21 Proverbs 29:1, 34:23 "He who is often rebuked and hardens his neck," 34:25 which means resist, reprove, 34:28 "will suddenly be destroyed and that without remedy." 34:32 So it's vitally important that we discipline 34:34 and correct our children in love. 34:37 Amen. Amen and amen. 34:38 Thank you, Jill. 34:40 You would have been a wonderful mother. 34:43 I love the title of mine. 34:45 We know where we're going as soon as you read it. 34:48 I have Wednesday's lesson, "Is life better on a rooftop?" 34:54 If you know anything about Proverbs, 34:55 you're going to know where we're going. 34:57 We know where you're going. 34:58 A good number of the Proverbs 35:01 consider how we treat each other in relationships. 35:05 And I wanted to start off with Proverbs 17:22, 35:09 I was reading the medical article the other day, 35:12 and it was talking about 35:14 how good laughter is for the heart. 35:19 Yeah. 35:20 And I thought how interesting 35:22 because the Bible's always told us that. 35:23 Proverbs 17:22 says, 35:27 "A merry heart does good like" what? 35:30 Medicine. 35:31 "Like medicine, but a broken spirit 35:34 dries the bones." 35:36 You know, a merry heart, 35:37 having a sense of humor in family life, 35:41 very important. 35:42 It lubricates the machinery of living together. 35:47 Doesn't it? 35:48 So it's something that will help 35:50 to reduce the stress and the strains. 35:52 Humor should never be used 35:56 to minimize or negate sin. 36:00 I just want to say that because if an issue is serious, 36:07 don't by pass it with humor, but humor is really good. 36:13 We're going to look at some practical ways 36:15 to approach this, 36:17 the idea of people who are contentious. 36:23 Have you ever run into somebody that's contentious? 36:26 Oh, yeah. 36:27 They're just hard to get along with, 36:29 they nag a lot. 36:30 Well, husbands and wives share 36:34 the responsibility of keeping a lid 36:39 on contentious behavior in the family. 36:42 And, you know, sometimes, 36:44 husbands will nag a wife or wife will nag a husband. 36:48 Husbands or parents will nag their children 36:52 and we do that sometimes. 36:55 People do this 36:57 thinking that they are going to effect a change 37:02 in that person's behavior. 37:03 Right. 37:05 Only God can change the character 37:08 and the behavior of someone so... 37:11 But let's get to where our lesson title came from, 37:15 Proverbs 21:9. 37:18 And we can certainly say that 37:21 Proverbs uses some humor to approach the topic. 37:25 Proverbs 21:9, 37:28 "Better to dwell in the corner of a rooftop 37:33 than in the house shared with a contentious woman." 37:39 You know, houses in ancient Israel had flat rooftops, 37:44 and they would often put up a little shelter 37:47 where they could live on top of that. 37:50 I mean, you could sleep on top, the rooftop. 37:53 Of course, it was better to be in the house, 37:56 but what does the Proverb say? 37:58 If you're living with somebody 37:59 that's constantly nagging you... 38:03 Oh, my... Heaven help us, right? 38:05 Go to the roof. Yeah. 38:07 Now let's read another one that says something similar. 38:11 Proverbs 27:15-16, 38:15 "A continual dripping on a very rainy day..." 38:20 Now, I have to ask you. Go ahead. 38:23 Have you ever noticed after a rainy day, 38:28 you look up and you see a little bitty 38:31 brown spot on your ceiling? 38:34 If you've never seen that, 38:37 it means there's leak in the roof, 38:38 right? 38:40 If there is a continual dripping, 38:43 you know, what happens? 38:44 What you see on the outside is nothing compared 38:49 to what's going on in the inside. 38:50 You're right. 38:52 And it's getting ready to break loose. 38:54 "A continual dripping on a very rainy day 38:57 and a contentious woman are alike, 39:00 whoever restrains her, restrains the wind 39:03 and grasps the oil with his right hand." 39:06 It's impossible to control the wind. 39:08 How long can you hang on to a handful of oil? 39:12 Yeah. That's impossible, right? 39:14 So what they're saying is the constant, 39:18 steady dripping of nagging at somebody 39:23 and carrying it on and carrying it on. 39:26 You gonna potentially tear down a relationship. 39:29 That's right. 39:30 Now, let's bring this in balance. 39:32 All right. 39:33 It's not Proverbs, 39:35 don't just talk about women being contentious. 39:37 Look at Proverbs 26:21, 39:41 26:21 says this, 39:44 "As charcoal is to burning coals, 39:50 as wood is to fire, 39:53 so is a contentious man to kindle strife." 40:00 So you got a problem going on 40:02 and then you've got some person, some man 40:05 that's nagging his kids, nagging his wife. 40:09 They are adding fuel to the fire. 40:11 That's right. 40:12 And, you know, I don't know, 40:14 it certainly would be frustrating. 40:17 Praise God. 40:18 I'm not a contentious woman. 40:20 Praise God, my husband's not contentious. 40:23 And I just have to add one thing here. 40:25 Next to being contentious, 40:27 you know what bothers me worse than anything? 40:29 A whiny person. 40:31 Oh, yeah. "Oh, well, it's not my fault. 40:34 Look what you did." It is. 40:36 I mean, that's like... 40:38 And I heard myself when I was sick last week, 40:41 I heard myself, I said something to JD, 40:43 and I said, "I'm so tired of feeling like this." 40:46 I thought, "Weren't that whiny?" 40:48 And I said, "Honey, I'm so sorry, 40:50 that sounded so whiny." 40:51 I can't stand that, 40:53 but that's kind of a contentious thing as well. 40:56 You know, we got to watch ourselves. 40:58 Yes, we do. 40:59 Proverbs 27:3, 41:01 "A stone is heavy, sand is weighty, 41:05 but a fool's wrath is heavier than both of them." 41:08 Yes. 41:10 Proverbs 18:2. 41:11 I got this one out of the NIV 'cause I like it. 41:14 "A fool finds no pleasure in understanding, 41:19 but delights in airing his own opinion." 41:23 Oh, wow. 41:24 While you think about that in a family situation. 41:27 Wow. 41:28 There are some people 41:30 who have a strong need to be heard 41:32 and they just always think 41:34 their opinion is more important than anybody else's, 41:37 and I guarantee you 41:39 that is going to create contention. 41:43 Proverbs 18:13, 41:46 "Spouting off before listening to the facts 41:50 is both shameful and foolish." 41:54 So I have to say 41:56 if there is anything that women tell me 42:00 is that they approach their husband to say something, 42:03 and he's got the answer right away. 42:05 Like, like thing, here is what you need to do, 42:07 and they'll say, "Hey, 42:09 I don't even know what's going on yet." 42:11 So we have to understand that 42:15 it's foolish to go by our own opinion, 42:18 to spout off before we're listening. 42:20 Listening is what opens up the communication. 42:23 That's right. That's right. 42:24 Sometimes people nag because they're angry and other times 42:28 it's because they feel like they're helping, 42:30 but nagging never creates a change that lasts. 42:35 It often causes your loved one 42:38 to feel like they're under attack. 42:40 And when people feel like you're under attack, 42:42 what you're going to do? 42:44 Retreat. Oh, yeah. 42:45 I mean, this is the problem 42:46 with among some, many parents with teenagers. 42:49 It's...You know, you just nag, nag, nag, 42:50 clean up your room, do this, do this, do this. 42:53 Pretty soon, kids don't even want to be around them. 42:55 That's right. 42:56 So it's a constant steady drip like on that roof 43:01 that can cause more damage than we see on the surface. 43:06 Nagging kind of indicates condescending, 43:10 blaming or shaming. 43:13 It's a destructive form. 43:15 So here is what Proverb says, Proverbs 18:21, 43:20 remember this, it's so important. 43:23 "Death and life are in the power of the tongue, 43:25 those who love it will eat its fruit." 43:28 That's right. 43:29 When you think about 43:31 what you're speaking to your children, 43:33 speaking over your children. 43:35 Don't sit there and say, "Oh, you're worthless." 43:38 Oh my... 43:39 I mean that's speaking death to a child. 43:42 You speak the Word of God into their life. 43:46 God's loved you with the everlasting love 43:49 and He's got a plan for your life child. 43:51 When you're speaking to your spouse, 43:54 you need to be doing the same thing. 43:57 We're to speak words that edify each other, 44:01 we're to hold people up, we're to encourage one another. 44:07 Proverbs 20:3, 20:3, last one, 44:13 "It is to a man's honor to avoid strife, 44:18 but every fool is quick to quarrel." 44:21 Yes. That's right. 44:23 Man, that was good. 44:25 I think I wrote down that about 12 scriptures, 44:28 and that was wonderful. 44:32 It's amazing that the Bible gives such counsel. 44:36 Absolutely. 44:37 And when we dealt with the Book of Revelation, 44:40 and we looked at this lesson, we say "Wow, 44:42 it's going to be a walk through the park, 44:43 it's gonna be so light and airy." 44:46 It's not really. 44:47 It's really giving us great counsel 44:48 and we are enjoying every bit of it. 44:50 Mine, I'm excited about the one I have, a truly wealthy wife. 44:55 I have a wealthy wife. 44:58 I'm not speaking about bank account balance, 45:00 but about character balance 45:02 which is more than a bank account balance any day 45:06 because bank account balances fluctuate, 45:09 but when a wife has a wealthy character, 45:12 it's a consistently... 45:13 It's a character that consistently draws interest 45:17 from the husband. 45:18 Amen. Get that analogy? 45:20 Yeah. That's good. 45:22 Proverbs 31:10-31, 45:25 Proverbs 31:10-31. 45:28 Now what I want... I'm going to read this now, 45:30 what I'm going to say ahead of time 45:32 is this is an overview of the qualities 45:37 of a virtuous woman. 45:39 But this is not a checklist for a virtuous woman 45:43 because somehow some might say, 45:45 well, I never heard that before. 45:46 So if I'm looking for a wife, 45:48 I'll put each of those in the checklist 45:50 and if she is missing any one of them, 45:52 she is not going to be my wife. 45:54 It's not intended to be a checklist. 45:55 Okay. 45:57 Proverbs 31:10, 45:58 "Who can find a virtuous wife..." 45:59 How many times I've heard that growing up? 46:02 "For her worth is far above rubies. 46:04 The heart of her husband safely trusts her. 46:10 So he will have no lack of gain. 46:12 She does him good and not evil all the days of her life." 46:17 I'm reading this so far reminds of my wife to the tee. 46:20 "She seeks wool and flax, 46:22 and willingly works with her hands. 46:25 She is like the merchant ships, she brings her food from afar." 46:29 My wife, when we go to Walmart, she doesn't mind 46:32 if I go to the electronic section 46:34 because it's huge, it's like a neighborhood. 46:37 But she always thinks that 46:38 what we need and she always says, 46:40 "Is there anything you like, 46:41 anything particular that you want? 46:42 Now, you know, husbands, some husbands 46:44 don't shop with their wives. 46:45 They cannot go into a grocery store. 46:47 My wife and I shop together. 46:49 And she says, "I really like it this time around 46:51 because you're actually walking with me through the aisles. 46:53 All right. 46:55 Because she is that way, 46:56 she just is always thinking about 46:58 how to make my life happier. 47:01 It's beautiful. 47:02 How to put on the table what I know, 47:03 what she knows is going to be a blessing. 47:05 When I'm doing my sermons, 47:06 I hear in the background a familiar sound 47:09 that tea kettle, like I tell when it starts. 47:12 We have an electric one 47:13 and I know that's my wife again. 47:15 In just a matter of minutes, she is bringing me some tea, 47:17 and cookies, or something to just keep me going. 47:20 She says, "I know what you like." 47:22 Virtuous wife. 47:24 But you know, after 35 years, 47:25 if you don't know each other, man, I tell you, 47:28 you've been ignoring each other. 47:29 And look where it goes on further to say in verse 16, 47:33 "She considers a field and buys it." 47:36 Very a woman that considers how to invest, 47:39 and this doesn't mean physically, 47:41 "For her profits, from her profits, 47:43 she plans a vineyard." 47:45 She's not a spendthrift, 47:46 she knows how to be very frugal. 47:49 "She girds herself with strength 47:51 and strengthens her arm." 47:53 I love about my wife, my wife is a strong woman. 47:56 I like that my wife has been the reason 47:58 why I have avoided some pitfalls in my life. 48:02 And women have a discernment, I have to say this to men. 48:04 Women have a discernment that some guys lack. 48:07 Some guys could be... You described in some cases, 48:10 airheads. 48:12 There are airhead guys. 48:13 Honestly, there are some airhead guys 48:15 because sometimes they could be dweebs, 48:17 they just think with their heads 48:18 and not with their brains. 48:20 And sometimes, they make decisions 48:22 based on what they see and not on principles. 48:24 That's right. 48:25 And Pastor Brook said it so well. 48:26 He is one of the men that I continually refer back to. 48:29 He's resting in the Lord. 48:30 But he said, "God gave us wives 48:32 so that we won't make fools of ourselves." 48:35 Yes. 48:36 And I'll tell you. 48:37 Here's one. 48:40 It says in verse 19, 48:42 "She stretches out her hand to the distaff, 48:47 and her hands hold the spindle. 48:50 She extends her hand to the poor." 48:51 Yes. 48:53 "She reaches out her hands to the needy." 48:55 My wife and I in our past, we haven't done that lately, 48:58 but we took in a father and a son. 49:00 When we lived up in the mountains 49:03 of Northern California, 49:04 they stayed with us, they lived with us. 49:07 And we came to find out that they were on the run. 49:09 The father was a police officer from Missouri 49:11 and the son was obviously, they were both on the run 49:14 because something happened in their marriage. 49:17 And he was on the run for attempted murder 49:19 so to speak, 49:20 but he didn't try to kill his wife, 49:22 he was a police officer. 49:23 But we saw something in them, they were on the run, 49:25 we said, "Where are you going?" They said, 49:26 "We don't really know. 49:28 There is no place for us to go." 49:29 And we took them in 49:30 when we're living in a small Pasadena region, California. 49:32 Lord impressed us to do that 49:34 and we were able to sit at this table 49:35 with these two men that were from Missouri. 49:38 And one evening as we were having dinner, 49:41 getting close to Christmas, 49:43 the father said to his son, "Go outside when I tell," 49:45 Mr. and Mrs. Lomacang something, 49:47 and he said, you know what? 49:48 "I want to confess something. 49:50 I know now why God brought us here." 49:51 It is because when we look at Missouri," 49:53 he says, "We were very prejudice," 49:57 but my son told me last night, 49:58 "Dad, we can't be prejudiced anymore. 50:01 These people are not like 50:02 what we always thought they were." 50:04 And we bought gifts for the son, 50:07 and for the father, and on Sabbath morning 50:09 they stood up in church and said, 50:10 "Because of the Lomacangs, 50:12 we're going to go back home to Missouri, 50:14 and settle the things that we are being accused of 50:16 and when we finished and do our time, 50:18 we're coming back to California and be members of this church." 50:21 And we left before they came back. 50:22 When we went back, 50:24 the father was the member of that church. 50:25 Praise God. 50:26 So you know, I believe that... 50:28 And my wife and the reason I say that is because we did... 50:30 It was her approval. 50:32 Husbands, I want to say this, 50:33 never make decisions about your home 50:34 without the support of your wife. 50:36 That's right. 50:37 Some may say, "I'm the voice here, 50:39 I'm the authority." 50:40 That won't go very far. 50:41 That will burn out very quickly. 50:43 Come on, can I get an amen? Amen. 50:44 That will burn out very, very quickly. 50:45 And so I'm not going to go through all of this, 50:47 but what I want to give you now when you read this, 50:50 you'll see that the Bible has given us 50:51 a beautiful blueprint of the qualities 50:54 that makes a wife a delight to her husband. 50:58 But I've learnt something as I've gotten older, 51:00 and I just use this last Christmas as an example. 51:04 And I love giving gifts to my wife, 51:05 and I said to my wife, "Honey, 51:07 if you gave me nothing for Christmas, 51:10 there is nothing you could do 51:12 or give me to make me love you more than I do right now." 51:15 And we had a moment in the... 51:17 We were in the Sam Club the other day, 51:18 I'm kind of giving you guys too much information. 51:23 We were in Sam Club the other day 51:24 and from aisle to aisle we paused, 51:26 for like, minutes, 51:28 and just started talking about easy things, 51:30 tough things, 51:31 and there were moments when tears came to both of our eyes, 51:34 and then we ended up in the back 51:36 by the bread island and detergent, and that lights, 51:39 and we said, "That was so rich." 51:43 And she said, "Oh, Honey, you know, 51:45 you don't know how what you said to me 51:47 just melted my heart, when you said, honey, 51:50 there's nothing you could spend money on, 51:54 that will get me to love you as much as I love you now." 51:59 It's far above what you can buy. 52:01 And we have those talks at our home, in our bed, 52:04 we have worships together. 52:05 And let me just give counsel to couples. 52:07 If you've been married for a short time 52:09 or a long time, 52:10 get real with each other. 52:11 Amen. 52:13 No relationship is as beautiful as you give 52:14 your wife permission to be real with you, 52:17 and you give your husband permission to be real with you, 52:19 but do this real thing in this context, 52:22 you both win together or you both lose together. 52:25 Yes. That's right. 52:26 Nobody wins an argument in marriage 52:28 without both of you winning together. 52:31 Nobody loses an argument 52:32 without both of you losing together. 52:34 Do everything with a primary focus 52:37 that is not her against me or me against her. 52:41 It's us against them. 52:44 You know, like this is just the two of us. 52:47 That song that Yvonne Lewis sang in the background 52:49 on just the two of us. 52:50 And I told this to a couple once, I said, 52:52 "You know, if the entire world falls apart, 52:54 and you can come home, and walk through that door, 52:57 and feel that you are in a fortress 52:58 where you are loved for the husband and wife." 53:01 I don't really care about the storms outside. 53:04 That's why when we travel, we go together, 53:06 because the storms of life, 53:08 I can handle them with my wife by my side. 53:11 So here are some of the things 53:12 that we have practiced in our marriage 53:14 that makes it so much beautiful, 53:15 and I want to bring this point out. 53:16 You know, when this was written in the Proverbs, 53:19 the 22-letter alphabet of the Hebrews, 53:22 the writer said was almost insufficient 53:25 to really bring out the qualities 53:26 of a virtuous woman. 53:28 But here is what we do together 53:29 and this is the patterns of our lives 53:30 that we practiced through the years. 53:32 We laugh together, we study together, 53:35 we pray together, we travel together. 53:38 We are not putting a bucket-list 53:40 to remember to travel later on in life, 53:42 we do that now. 53:43 We disagree together 53:45 with the intention of mutual victory. 53:47 We shop together, 53:49 we play together, 53:51 we actually eat dinner at the same time, 53:53 at the same table together. 53:55 We clean house together. 53:56 I know what... 53:58 She knows what I clean better than her, 53:59 I know what she does better than me. 54:00 "Honey, you could do all the dishes in the world, 54:02 I'll do everything else." 54:04 I do not like doing dishes. 54:05 We know what each other likes and don't like. 54:08 We and...You know, 54:09 this one thing that I want to kind of just milk. 54:12 We are preparing for eternity together. 54:15 Amen. That's right. 54:16 'Cause I said, "Honey, 54:17 if you're this good on this side of heaven, 54:19 I can't wait for the perfect version 54:21 on the other side." 54:22 So we have the saying, I end with this. 54:24 We have the saying, "Together, forever, 54:27 eternity in view." 54:28 And that's our eternal pledge. 54:30 Amen. 54:31 I have a virtuous woman. Amen. 54:33 You're blessed man. You do. 54:34 Praise the Lord. Amen. 54:35 Wow. 54:37 This truly was a lesson of wise words. 54:40 The Book of Proverbs is so rich. 54:41 I praise the Lord for the Word of God. 54:43 Why don't we take just a few moments 54:45 that each one of you on the panel 54:46 just reflect something from your heart 54:49 on today's lesson? 54:50 Well, I jotted down a couple of thing 54:51 I thought was interesting. 54:53 What everybody said was really interesting. 54:55 We need to cultivate a love 54:57 for meditation and spiritual devotion, 55:00 you take that time, spend it with one another, 55:02 family and friends, spend it in the church, 55:04 with church family. 55:06 And, you know, 55:07 and discipline the mind to think upon godly things. 55:10 Be ready 'cause I know He is coming soon. 55:12 It's true, Pastor Kenny. 55:13 I did not touch this when I talked about it, 55:15 but if you are disciplining your kids 55:17 and you listen to this, and you said, 55:19 "I'm doing it all wrong." 55:20 Don't be discouraged. 55:22 Right now, you can come to the Lord Jesus, 55:24 you can ask for strength, for forgiveness, for victory. 55:27 You can go back to your kids and say, 55:29 "I'm sorry for the way I have modeled this behavior, 55:32 and we're going to do things different now 55:34 with Jesus as the center. 55:36 Amen. Amen. 55:37 I guess I would say that one thing I think 55:39 it helps people in the oil that, 55:45 oil some family life is to say thank you. 55:49 You know, when somebody, 55:50 JD and I still, I mean, if he takes the trash out, 55:53 I say, "Thank you, Honey." 55:56 He tells me thank you for cooking. 55:58 It's just something that helps keep contention down. 56:03 And I want to add this component, 56:04 and because I've been married, going on 36 years now, 56:07 and I want to say that 56:08 a real marriage is not a perfect marriage, 56:13 but the aim is perfection. 56:14 Amen. 56:16 Where there are fractures, 56:18 you both work on fixing those fractures together. 56:21 Where there are weaknesses, 56:22 you both work on strengthening those areas. 56:24 Where there are times of needing 56:28 to forgive one another, you do that... 56:29 Amen. 56:31 Because victory in a marriage is longevity. 56:35 It's not how excited you are, 56:38 but how willing you are to invest everything you have 56:42 in preparing for eternity. 56:43 And my wife and I know about all of that. 56:45 We've cried together, we've laughed together, 56:47 we fought together, we pray together, 56:49 and we're preparing for eternity together. 56:51 Praise the Lord. Amen. 56:52 Praise the Lord. 56:54 Wow, you know, I just want to leave us 56:56 with today's memory text, 56:57 what better way to cap it off with Proverbs 3:5-6, 57:00 it says, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, 57:03 and lean not on your own understanding, 57:06 in all your ways acknowledge Him, 57:08 and He shall direct your path." 57:11 It's such a blessing that each 57:12 and every one of you have been joining us. 57:14 We're excited about next week's lesson, 57:16 so please tune in, until then, 57:18 we're praying for you, pray for us, 57:21 and may we all grow in the Lord together 57:22 day by day, moment by moment. 57:24 God bless until next time. 57:26 Bye-bye. Amen. |
Revised 2024-08-26