The Bible tells us, "In
the beginning was the Word,
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and the Word was with God,
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and the Word was God."
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It says to,
"Receive with meekness
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the implanted Word
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which is able
to save your souls.
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And to be diligent
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to present
yourself approved to God,
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rightly dividing
the Word of truth."
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Join us now
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for the 3ABN
Sabbath School Panel.
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Our study today
is Family Seasons.
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Hello, and welcome
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to the 3ABN
Sabbath School panel.
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Such a blessing to have
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each and every
one of you with us,
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and here we are trucking along
through this incredible study
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on Family Seasons.
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You guys enjoying it?
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Amen. Amen.
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It's such a powerful study.
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Last week we talked about how...
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You know, we're not alone.
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And no matter what
type of situation in life,
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we are not alone.
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We can count on Jesus
Christ to be with us every day,
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every moment, every hour,
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and we praise the Lord for that.
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This week, we're
gonna be studying
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lesson five, which is entitled,
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"Wise Words for Families."
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And we certainly could
use that this day and age,
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especially for
the families of today.
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I know I can use
wise words all the time.
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So I praise the Lord for that.
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But before we go any further,
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I would like to go
ahead and introduce our panel.
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We have to my left
here, Brother Kenny Shelton.
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How are you doing, Brother?
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I'm doing well and
blessed. Thank you.
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Amen. It's a
blessing to have you.
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It's all good.
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And Miss Jill Morikone?
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Privilege to be here.
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Amen. It's blessing to have you.
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And Miss Shelley Quinn?
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Always loved it.
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And of course, to
your left is my pastor,
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Pastor John Lomacang.
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We're gonna have
another blessed time today.
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This lesson has been
a blessing, hasn't it?
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Yeah. Absolutely.
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So good to be here for that.
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It is a power
packed study, indeed.
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In fact, I
would like to go ahead
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and remind you
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of how you can get
a copy of this lesson.
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Just simply go to your local
Seventh-day Adventist Church
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which is what I would
recommend because you know what?
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We shouldn't forsake
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the assembling of
ourselves together, right?
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And so, any
opportunity that we have
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that we can share God
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or the message of
the Lord with someone,
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and what better way to do that.
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So I would encourage you to go
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to your local
Seventh-day Adventist Church
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and just simply study
with them and ask them,
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I'm sure they'll
provide a free copy.
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Nonetheless, you can also go
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to ABSG.Adventist.org.
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And you can access
the study online for free.
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And so we are, again, so excited
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that you had been
studying with us all this time,
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and we hope you
continue to study with us.
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I would like to go ahead
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and get us started.
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But I guess
before we get started,
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we should have a prayer.
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And I'm gonna ask
Miss Shelley Quinn,
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if she would
say a prayer for us.
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Absolutely.
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Heavenly Father, we come in
the name of Jesus before You
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to praise Your holy
name, to Thank You, Lord,
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that not only for
Jesus and Your Spirit,
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but to thank You
for Your Word, Father,
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that is a lamp to our feet.
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And, Father, we
need uncommon wisdom
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in these days
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to be able to combat the enemy.
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So we ask in the name of Jesus,
thank You for this lesson.
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Let us speak in here,
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what the Holy Spirit
has to say to Your people,
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in Jesus' name, amen.
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Amen.
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Amen.
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Wise words for families.
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Our memory text for this week
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is indeed a wise text.
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It's Proverbs 3:5-6.
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We've used this text
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quite often
throughout this study,
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and I'm sure
you'll probably see it
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a few more times.
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But the Bible tells us,
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"Trust in the Lord
with all your heart
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and lean not on
your own understanding.
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In all your ways,
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acknowledge Him
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and He shall direct your path."
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You know, no matter
what family situation
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you may be
currently experiencing,
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and no matter
what phase of your life
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you may be going through.
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The Book of Proverbs
seems to have something
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for everyone in the family.
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In fact, every time I
open the Book of Proverbs,
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it's such a blessing,
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because there's such
wise instruction there.
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In fact, I like
to just remind people
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that the author of
this book was Solomon,
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the Son of David,
who, of course, we know,
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historically and biblically,
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was the wisest man to ever live.
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And so we know, we
don't put emphasis on man,
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but on the
Lord, but I praise God
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that through this man,
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we have such wise
comments, such wise instruction.
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And you know, similar
to the Book of Deuteronomy,
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Proverbs is a
book of instruction,
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from father to son,
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and so it has that
family aspect to it.
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In fact, Proverbs 1:8,
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notice what it says here,
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"My son,
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hear the
instruction of your father,
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and do not forsake
the law of your mother."
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So it is through
the divine instruction
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of Proverbs,
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the father bids us to
follow His instruction.
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And so we have a
responsibility on our part
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to listen to the
instruction again.
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Even in the Book of Proverbs,
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I often think of this scripture,
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Proverbs 14:12,
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which says, "There is a
way which seemeth right to us."
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And many times
our own will tends
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to step in front or eclipse
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that of the will of God.
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But we need to
just allow God's Word
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to speak directly to us.
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I would like to launch us
directly into Sunday's lesson,
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which is entitled,
"Love the Right Woman."
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Before we get right
into this particular text
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found in the study,
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I was doing a
little bit of research
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and I found some
interesting data.
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I was looking at a
public health report
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and the data that I
found was so interesting,
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an eye opening that it felt,
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I mean, just to me,
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it felt like it went
right in with this lesson.
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The data from 2002 survey
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indicates that by age 20, okay,
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so this is 2002,
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some would says
it's a little dated,
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but I'm gonna work
us up to today's time,
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so 2002 by age 20,
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77% of respondents had sex,
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75% had premarital sex,
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and 12% of those
only had married,
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okay?
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By age 44,
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okay, so notice this.
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By age 44,
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90% of the respondents, okay?
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Of those had premarital sex.
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This is some hard statistics,
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but it's very much
gonna go right into our study.
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Even among those
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who abstained
under the age of 20,
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81% of those had
premarital sex by age 44.
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And the
statistics are astounding.
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Now, bringing it up to
our day, check this out.
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A 2013 statistic report,
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reported that 65
to 70% of Americans
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thought that premarital
sex was not a moral issue,
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and was completely acceptable.
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This is much more recent.
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So as recent as
just a few years ago,
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when Americans were polled,
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more than half,
well more than half,
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almost three
fourths of the people
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who were polled saw
this as not a moral issue,
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completely acceptable.
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Only about 30% or so said,
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"That's kind of unacceptable."
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And that kind of gives us
an insight to the mentality
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and the minds of people today
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when it comes
to human sexuality.
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And you know, the Bible gives us
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a lot of insight.
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And I just wanna say really
quickly on the title of this,
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I think that the writer
of this title did very well,
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"Love the Right Woman,"
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but I just wanna
add you know what?
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Love the right man also.
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And this goes both ways.
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And I know that
the writer implies
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that all through
this study as well.
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I want to start
with Proverbs 3:5,
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excuse me, Proverbs 5:3-14.
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We have a little
bit of instruction here
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on the type of woman
that we should probably avoid
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or I would just wanna
say the type of person
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we should try to avoid.
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But notice here.
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"For the lips
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of the
adulterous woman drip honey,
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and her speech is
smoother than oil.
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But in the end,
she is bitter as gall."
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And I wanna remind you here,
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I'm actually
reading from the NIV,
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when I was studying some
of these texts in Proverbs
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reading it in the King
James, the New King James,
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there was some texts,
they're little challenging.
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So I went over,
checked and made sure
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the translation went across.
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It was very nice,
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and I felt like
some of the words here
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were much more straightforward.
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Notice here, verse 5,
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"Her feet go down to death,
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her steps lead
straight into the grave.
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She gives no
thought to the way of life,
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her paths wander aimlessly,
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but she does not know it.
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Now then, my sons, listen to me,
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do not turn
aside from what I say.
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Keep to a path far from her,
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do not go near
the door of her house,
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lest you lose
your honor to others
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and your dignity to
the one who is cruel."
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It goes on to say,
"Lest strangers feast
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on your wealth
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and your toil enrich
the house of another.
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At the end of your
life you will groan,
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when your flesh
and body are spent.
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You will say, 'How
I hated discipline!
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How my heart spurned correction!
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I would not obey my teachers
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or turn my ears
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to my instructors.
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And I was soon
in serious trouble
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in the assembly
of God's people.'
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" You know, I
just have to say this,
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the lesson brings this out
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casual sexual
liaisons lack commitment.
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Amen.
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Commitment and
therefore fall far short
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of true intimacy.
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You know, we
live in a day and age
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where people having
this idea that, you know,
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a sexual relationship outside
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of the harmonious commitment
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that God
established through marriage
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brings happiness, brings peace,
00:09:37.14\00:09:38.57
but actually it
brings destruction.
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Amen.
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And then studies are showing,
even scientific studies today,
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counselors and psychologists
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and these experts
are looking into it
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and they're finding even
outside of biblical counsel,
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they're finding
that this is detrimental.
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It's important
for us to understand
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and comprehend
that this is killing
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our relationships,
it's killing ourselves.
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Yes.
00:10:00.20\00:10:01.50
Most important,
one must answer to God
00:10:01.53\00:10:03.73
for these choices made in life.
00:10:03.77\00:10:05.17
This is very important.
00:10:05.20\00:10:06.53
You know, I just
wanna make, mention here.
00:10:06.57\00:10:08.30
There's a difference
between love and lust.
00:10:08.34\00:10:10.27
Yes.
00:10:10.31\00:10:11.64
And many times people
mistake lust for love.
00:10:11.67\00:10:14.44
And that's simply not the case.
00:10:14.48\00:10:16.11
In fact, we
have biblical counsel
00:10:16.14\00:10:17.71
on this straight from
Jesus' famous passage,
00:10:17.75\00:10:19.98
Matthew 5:27-28.
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Notice what Jesus says here,
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and I would say
this goes for just
00:10:24.19\00:10:25.52
as much a woman as
it does a man but again,
00:10:25.55\00:10:28.26
notice what Christ says
beginning with verse 27.
00:10:28.29\00:10:30.83
He says, "You have heard that
it was said to those of old,
00:10:30.89\00:10:33.66
'You shall not commit adultery.'
00:10:33.70\00:10:36.53
But I say to you that
whoever looks at a woman
00:10:36.60\00:10:38.50
to lust for her
00:10:38.53\00:10:39.87
has already committed adultery
00:10:39.90\00:10:41.60
within his heart.'"
00:10:41.64\00:10:43.34
Okay, well, yes, within
her heart, in his heart.
00:10:43.37\00:10:46.81
So very, very plainly
here Christ is establishing,
00:10:46.84\00:10:49.41
He's going back to the
basics of the Ten Commandments.
00:10:49.44\00:10:51.78
He's saying, look, you know,
00:10:51.81\00:10:53.21
it's clearly established
00:10:53.25\00:10:54.58
that you
shouldn't commit adultery,
00:10:54.62\00:10:55.95
but I'm gonna take
it a step further, look,
00:10:55.98\00:10:57.32
you may not have actually
00:10:57.35\00:10:58.69
participated in
the physical act.
00:10:58.72\00:11:00.16
But looking upon a
woman that is not your wife,
00:11:00.19\00:11:02.49
that is not your companion,
00:11:02.52\00:11:03.86
you know,
committed within the Lord,
00:11:03.93\00:11:05.93
you are committing
adultery in your heart,
00:11:05.96\00:11:07.76
you're setting
yourself up for destruction.
00:11:07.76\00:11:10.03
Again, Matthew
19:5-6, Jesus says,
00:11:10.07\00:11:14.00
"For this reason
00:11:14.04\00:11:15.37
a man shall leave
his father and mother
00:11:15.40\00:11:17.47
and be joined to his, his wife,
00:11:17.51\00:11:21.34
and the two
shall become one flesh.
00:11:21.38\00:11:23.08
So then they are no
longer two but one flesh.
00:11:23.11\00:11:26.92
Therefore what God
has joined together,
00:11:26.98\00:11:29.25
let not man separate."
00:11:29.28\00:11:30.75
I just wanna emphasize there
what God has joined together.
00:11:30.79\00:11:34.12
Okay, in this
conversation of human sexuality
00:11:34.16\00:11:38.19
and choosing in
loving the right person,
00:11:38.23\00:11:41.66
the right
companion, the right spouse,
00:11:41.70\00:11:43.30
you know, make sure
God has put it together.
00:11:43.33\00:11:45.90
There's a
preparation that goes to that.
00:11:45.93\00:11:47.57
You know, Christ is the creator,
00:11:47.60\00:11:49.80
who of any person
would know best how,
00:11:49.84\00:11:53.41
you know, how He
established things
00:11:53.44\00:11:54.88
and put this together.
00:11:54.91\00:11:56.24
He knows better than anyone
what the original plan was.
00:11:56.28\00:11:58.55
He created us.
00:11:58.58\00:11:59.95
He established marriage
00:12:00.05\00:12:01.38
right there in
the Garden of Eden
00:12:01.42\00:12:02.75
before there ever was sin,
00:12:02.78\00:12:04.12
so what better
person to hear counsel
00:12:04.15\00:12:05.49
from than Jesus Christ.
00:12:05.52\00:12:06.86
Also wanna jump right
here to 1 Corinthians 7:3-4.
00:12:06.89\00:12:10.63
It says, "Let the
husband render to his wife,
00:12:10.66\00:12:12.76
the affection due to her,"
00:12:12.79\00:12:14.10
notice the emphasis
on the wife, his wife.
00:12:14.20\00:12:16.46
So in other words,
we're implying here
00:12:16.50\00:12:17.97
very clearly and communicating
00:12:18.00\00:12:19.77
that a relationship,
00:12:19.80\00:12:21.14
any type of
inappropriate relationship,
00:12:21.17\00:12:23.87
sexual
relationship outside of marriage
00:12:23.91\00:12:26.94
is not biblical.
00:12:26.98\00:12:28.54
In fact, I'm astounded.
00:12:28.58\00:12:29.91
I was talking to you
guys earlier about this.
00:12:29.94\00:12:31.28
You know, I'm
astounded by how many people
00:12:31.31\00:12:33.38
do not understand the
concept of fornication
00:12:33.42\00:12:35.65
and it breaks my heart
00:12:35.68\00:12:37.05
because that is a
sin in the eyes of God.
00:12:37.09\00:12:39.45
Hebrews 13:4,
00:12:39.49\00:12:41.52
"Marriage is honorable among all
00:12:41.56\00:12:43.79
and the bed undefiled,
00:12:43.83\00:12:45.16
but fornicators and adulterers,
00:12:45.19\00:12:47.03
God will judge."
00:12:47.10\00:12:48.40
This is a very
strong language indeed,
00:12:48.43\00:12:50.40
but it's truth
00:12:50.43\00:12:51.77
and it's
instruction for us to adhere to.
00:12:51.80\00:12:54.70
I just wanna end with this.
00:12:54.74\00:12:56.67
Romans 12:1-2, one of
my favorite scriptures.
00:12:56.74\00:12:59.61
"I beseech you
therefore, brethren,
00:12:59.64\00:13:01.04
by the mercies of God,
00:13:01.08\00:13:02.41
that you present your bodies,
00:13:02.44\00:13:04.05
a living sacrifice,
00:13:04.08\00:13:05.81
holy, acceptable to God,
00:13:05.85\00:13:07.68
which is your
reasonable service.
00:13:07.72\00:13:09.15
And do not be
conformed to this world,
00:13:09.18\00:13:10.82
but be ye transformed by
the renewing of your mind,
00:13:10.89\00:13:14.06
that you may prove
00:13:14.09\00:13:15.42
what is that
good and acceptable,
00:13:15.46\00:13:17.06
perfect will of God."
00:13:17.13\00:13:18.69
"Let this mind be in you."
00:13:18.73\00:13:20.80
Philippians 2:5.
00:13:20.83\00:13:22.13
We should be
adopting the mind of Christ,
00:13:22.16\00:13:23.83
the mind of the Creator.
00:13:23.87\00:13:25.43
He established marriage,
00:13:25.47\00:13:26.94
love the right woman,
love the right man, in the Lord
00:13:27.00\00:13:30.17
and within the
Council of Scripture.
00:13:30.21\00:13:32.14
Amen. Amen.
00:13:32.17\00:13:33.84
Praise the Lord.
00:13:33.88\00:13:35.21
Oh, here he set
it up, didn't he?
00:13:35.24\00:13:36.58
I'm feeling wonderful.
00:13:36.61\00:13:37.95
Praise God. Very good job.
00:13:37.98\00:13:39.31
And I have Monday,
00:13:39.35\00:13:40.68
Monday's lesson,
it's called, you know,
00:13:40.72\00:13:42.05
"A Call to the Fathers."
00:13:42.08\00:13:43.65
And so I think it's, you know,
00:13:43.69\00:13:45.05
the father's make
sure your mouths are off
00:13:45.09\00:13:47.12
and so on and so forth.
00:13:47.16\00:13:48.49
So we can hear
some of the counsel
00:13:48.52\00:13:49.86
that God gives us from the Word.
00:13:49.89\00:13:51.86
I think sometime
00:13:51.89\00:13:53.23
we forgotten the importance
of fathers in the home
00:13:53.26\00:13:55.90
and I realized the
importance of father and mother.
00:13:55.93\00:13:58.20
But father has responsibility,
mother has responsibility
00:13:58.23\00:14:00.94
and we need to
answer to that call
00:14:00.97\00:14:02.70
because God has called us
00:14:02.74\00:14:04.24
to set the example
for our children for sure.
00:14:04.31\00:14:07.61
Ephesians 6:4,
00:14:07.64\00:14:09.41
the Bible says,
00:14:09.44\00:14:10.78
"And you,
fathers, " so starts out,
00:14:10.85\00:14:12.31
Ephesians 6:4,
"And you, fathers, "
00:14:12.35\00:14:14.98
notice this it says, provoke.
00:14:15.02\00:14:16.62
What? What do you provoke?
00:14:16.69\00:14:18.02
Not. Not.
00:14:18.05\00:14:19.39
"Not your children to wrath."
00:14:19.42\00:14:20.76
And sometime I
think we aggravate them
00:14:20.79\00:14:22.12
till they get a little upset.
00:14:22.16\00:14:24.06
Sometime by not following
through with the commands
00:14:24.13\00:14:26.90
that we have made or
whatever through their,
00:14:26.93\00:14:28.70
it makes a little more difficult
00:14:28.73\00:14:30.07
to come back.
00:14:30.13\00:14:31.47
Sometime they just
get little aggravated
00:14:31.50\00:14:32.83
about things,
00:14:32.87\00:14:34.20
but "Provoke not
your children to wrath,
00:14:34.24\00:14:35.57
but bring them up in the," what?
00:14:35.60\00:14:37.37
"Nurture and
admonition of the Lord."
00:14:37.41\00:14:40.84
I thought how
interesting that is
00:14:40.88\00:14:42.21
because you look
up into the provoke,
00:14:42.24\00:14:44.51
that simply don't
bring them to anger.
00:14:44.55\00:14:46.78
Try not to upset them,
try not to get them mad,
00:14:46.82\00:14:49.05
but there's times, sometimes
it's situations you need
00:14:49.08\00:14:51.62
to bring things to
the forefront there.
00:14:51.65\00:14:54.02
But in that passage,
it says to nurture them
00:14:54.06\00:14:56.52
and that means
dealing with education.
00:14:56.56\00:14:59.03
Fathers need to a certain amount
00:14:59.06\00:15:00.66
to educate our children
00:15:00.73\00:15:02.53
which simply
means train them up,
00:15:02.56\00:15:04.53
bring them up in a
way they should go.
00:15:04.57\00:15:07.24
And it implies,
00:15:07.27\00:15:08.97
the word here
implies correction.
00:15:09.00\00:15:11.41
Sometime we forget that.
00:15:11.44\00:15:12.77
We say, "Well, we just
train and then we educate, "
00:15:12.81\00:15:15.78
but it implies
correction and discipline.
00:15:15.81\00:15:19.01
Right.
00:15:19.05\00:15:20.42
And so we have to figure out
00:15:20.45\00:15:21.78
how the best discipline
will work for each child
00:15:21.82\00:15:23.15
which is little
bit different for sure.
00:15:23.18\00:15:25.15
So there is a call upon us
00:15:25.19\00:15:27.09
in the admonition of
the world of the Lord.
00:15:27.16\00:15:31.06
So mild rebuke
00:15:31.09\00:15:32.96
or warning to
help to understand.
00:15:32.99\00:15:36.87
I think we need that.
00:15:36.93\00:15:38.27
The father's job is
important to be able
00:15:38.30\00:15:40.00
to raise the children.
00:15:40.04\00:15:41.37
And sometimes there's a
mild, didn't say heavy duty,
00:15:41.40\00:15:43.67
just said a mild rebuke,
00:15:43.71\00:15:45.04
whatever it takes
to get that little twig
00:15:45.07\00:15:46.64
to bend it at an early age,
00:15:46.68\00:15:48.01
I think is so,
so very important.
00:15:48.04\00:15:49.74
Because once it
gets little bigger,
00:15:49.78\00:15:51.11
it's just hard to
bend that twig anymore.
00:15:51.15\00:15:53.68
So success in anything
00:15:53.72\00:15:55.85
depends upon the
condition of the heart.
00:15:55.88\00:15:58.62
I think someone
mentioned that before.
00:15:58.65\00:16:00.12
Interesting.
00:16:00.19\00:16:01.52
We look at this here
success in everything.
00:16:01.56\00:16:04.36
Anything that we do
00:16:04.39\00:16:05.73
has to do with the heart,
00:16:05.76\00:16:07.40
has to do with the mind.
00:16:07.46\00:16:08.90
Proverbs 3:5-6,
00:16:08.93\00:16:10.67
someone may have
read that, it says,
00:16:10.70\00:16:12.27
"You know, just
trust in the Lord
00:16:12.30\00:16:13.64
with all your," what?
00:16:13.67\00:16:15.00
"Heart." Heart.
00:16:15.04\00:16:16.37
So I encourage the
fathers to trust in the Lord
00:16:16.40\00:16:17.74
with all of your heart.
00:16:17.77\00:16:19.74
Because you're leading out,
00:16:19.77\00:16:21.11
you're supposed to lead out.
00:16:21.14\00:16:22.48
That's your job in the
home and in the family.
00:16:22.51\00:16:25.01
This one here, you
read, someone read while ago.
00:16:25.05\00:16:28.72
It says, "Trust in the
Lord with all thine heart
00:16:28.75\00:16:30.39
and then lean not,"
00:16:30.42\00:16:32.15
in Proverbs
3:5-6, "into your," what?
00:16:32.19\00:16:34.69
"Thine own understanding."
00:16:34.72\00:16:36.06
You read while ago.
00:16:36.09\00:16:37.43
Now notice this in verse 6,
00:16:37.46\00:16:38.96
"In all thy ways acknowledge Him
00:16:38.99\00:16:40.90
and He shall direct thy paths."
00:16:40.93\00:16:43.06
I thought those are
some interesting words,
00:16:43.10\00:16:44.50
at least to me.
00:16:44.53\00:16:45.87
I mean, we can read
through them right quick
00:16:45.90\00:16:47.24
and then maybe not quite grasp
00:16:47.30\00:16:48.64
what it really means in here.
00:16:48.67\00:16:50.87
Lean,
00:16:50.91\00:16:52.24
don't lean or
don't rely on self.
00:16:52.27\00:16:55.71
This is what I thought.
This is what the world does.
00:16:55.74\00:16:57.88
This is what
somebody else has done.
00:16:57.91\00:16:59.51
We need not to lean,
00:16:59.55\00:17:01.02
prop our self up on
other people's understanding
00:17:01.05\00:17:03.32
or maybe our own.
00:17:03.35\00:17:04.69
We need to prop our self up
on the Word of God for sure.
00:17:04.72\00:17:09.62
Verse 6 says, "In all
thy ways, acknowledge Him,
00:17:09.66\00:17:12.99
and He shall direct thy paths."
00:17:13.03\00:17:15.13
I thought, there we're again,
00:17:15.16\00:17:16.50
He's gonna direct,
00:17:16.53\00:17:17.87
He's gonna give us directions,
00:17:17.90\00:17:19.43
He's gonna show us
00:17:19.47\00:17:20.84
which way to go in our
family, with our children.
00:17:20.87\00:17:24.21
I think it's Psalm 16:11.
00:17:24.24\00:17:26.24
It says, "Thou wilt
show me the path of life."
00:17:26.27\00:17:28.81
This is a promise.
00:17:28.84\00:17:30.18
If we ask God
to direct our path,
00:17:30.25\00:17:31.68
He's gonna show us the path,
00:17:31.71\00:17:33.05
He's gonna
direct us, absolutely.
00:17:33.08\00:17:34.75
Knowledge, knowledge him.
00:17:34.78\00:17:37.39
Let's consider.
00:17:37.42\00:17:38.75
Think about we need to consider,
00:17:38.79\00:17:40.16
we need to observe,
00:17:40.19\00:17:41.52
how do we acknowledge God?
00:17:41.56\00:17:43.76
Are there a lot
of different ways
00:17:43.83\00:17:45.16
we can acknowledge God?
I believe that there is.
00:17:45.19\00:17:46.56
Acknowledge God, we can do...
00:17:46.59\00:17:47.93
In other words,
it's saying here,
00:17:47.96\00:17:49.26
we need to consider God,
00:17:49.30\00:17:50.63
we need to observe God,
00:17:50.67\00:17:52.30
we need to tell
others about God,
00:17:52.33\00:17:53.90
we need to have,
00:17:53.94\00:17:55.27
you know, to
recognize that He's God,
00:17:55.30\00:17:56.71
we need to understand God
00:17:56.77\00:17:58.47
and as a father
understands these issues
00:17:58.51\00:18:00.51
that really he should bring
in certainly into the home.
00:18:00.54\00:18:02.88
Manuscript 33, in
1911, this was written.
00:18:02.91\00:18:05.91
It says, "The unlearned man,
00:18:05.95\00:18:07.88
if he knows
God, and Jesus Christ
00:18:07.92\00:18:09.72
has a more enduring
wisdom than the most learned man
00:18:09.75\00:18:13.52
who despises the
instructions of God."
00:18:13.59\00:18:16.16
So it says, you don't
have to be very smart,
00:18:16.19\00:18:17.89
God gives
wisdom, isn't that right?
00:18:17.93\00:18:19.26
That's right. Amen.
00:18:19.29\00:18:20.63
He's more interested in
our children than we are.
00:18:20.66\00:18:22.93
Absolutely.
00:18:22.96\00:18:24.30
God wants them in heaven more
than we want them in heaven,
00:18:24.33\00:18:26.47
and He's certainly
given instructions on prayer.
00:18:26.50\00:18:28.17
What is the father?
00:18:28.20\00:18:29.54
Somebody has said,
"What is the father?"
00:18:29.57\00:18:30.91
You know, what does he do here?
00:18:30.94\00:18:33.31
From one, he's a
priest of the household.
00:18:33.38\00:18:35.34
That's what the
Word of God says.
00:18:35.38\00:18:37.15
And I would say this,
00:18:37.18\00:18:38.51
lot of men need to
step up to the plate,
00:18:38.55\00:18:39.88
don't be hiding in the dugout.
00:18:39.91\00:18:42.22
Somebody get that next week
00:18:42.25\00:18:43.59
but there's still some
we have to think about.
00:18:43.62\00:18:44.95
We need to step up to the plate.
00:18:44.99\00:18:46.32
Why?
00:18:46.35\00:18:47.69
Because God said so, that's why,
00:18:47.72\00:18:49.06
in a balanced way here for sure.
00:18:49.09\00:18:51.06
In the council...
00:18:51.09\00:18:54.93
I think it was
Child Guidance. Yeah, 521.
00:18:54.96\00:18:57.03
It says here,
00:18:57.07\00:18:58.40
"He should conduct a
morning and evening worship,
00:18:58.43\00:19:00.97
and by his own example,
00:19:01.00\00:19:02.34
teach the children to pray."
00:19:02.37\00:19:04.24
So we step up, the father
in the home should lead out
00:19:04.27\00:19:06.27
in worship in the morning,
should lead out in at night.
00:19:06.31\00:19:09.14
And by his own
lips, his own words,
00:19:09.18\00:19:11.75
teach our children to pray.
00:19:11.78\00:19:13.21
Realize how many of our children
00:19:13.25\00:19:14.58
get 8, 9, 10, 11, 12 years old,
00:19:14.62\00:19:16.75
and they've
never prayed out loud.
00:19:16.82\00:19:19.35
And some are 30, some are 40,
00:19:19.39\00:19:21.42
and they still
won't pray out loud.
00:19:21.46\00:19:22.79
I'm not trying
to condemn anybody
00:19:22.82\00:19:24.16
that does or doesn't.
00:19:24.19\00:19:25.53
I'm just simply saying,
00:19:25.56\00:19:26.93
I believe that needs
to be taught in the home
00:19:26.96\00:19:28.26
to where it's
just a common thing
00:19:28.30\00:19:29.63
is maybe we break
out in the song sometime
00:19:29.66\00:19:31.00
is to learn to
pray, learn to talk,
00:19:31.03\00:19:32.57
certainly to Jesus,
the father will do that.
00:19:32.60\00:19:34.64
The father is to be the
house band of the family.
00:19:34.67\00:19:37.87
The father holds
the house together.
00:19:37.91\00:19:40.38
That was God's
intention for that.
00:19:40.41\00:19:42.11
Letter 18 in 1891 says,
00:19:42.14\00:19:44.25
"The Lord had
constituted that the husband,
00:19:44.28\00:19:46.82
the head of the wife,
to be the protector, "
00:19:46.85\00:19:49.42
that's in Ephesians
5:23, "the protector."
00:19:49.45\00:19:51.89
So he is the house band.
00:19:51.92\00:19:54.32
Something happened,
someone breaks into the home,
00:19:54.36\00:19:56.29
really the father's job
00:19:56.32\00:19:57.66
is to try to get
things corrected.
00:19:57.69\00:19:59.03
Get thing, make
sure no one's hurt
00:19:59.06\00:20:00.40
that are in that family.
00:20:00.43\00:20:01.73
And certainly we're
talking spiritually here.
00:20:01.76\00:20:03.73
And it goes on
to say, we need...
00:20:03.77\00:20:05.80
What he needs to
do to balance it up,
00:20:05.83\00:20:07.87
everybody, the
father say some time,
00:20:07.90\00:20:09.24
"Well, I'm the head of the wife,
00:20:09.27\00:20:10.61
I'm this and that."
00:20:10.67\00:20:12.01
It simply said, I like this,w
00:20:12.04\00:20:13.38
"Don't let the
husband exercise his power,"
00:20:13.41\00:20:16.11
notice this,
00:20:16.14\00:20:17.51
"and imitate the
great head of the church."
00:20:17.55\00:20:19.48
Yes. Amen.
00:20:19.51\00:20:20.88
That's the way
to do it, isn't it?
00:20:20.92\00:20:22.25
Proverbs 13:22, says,
00:20:22.28\00:20:23.62
"A good man
leaveth an inheritance
00:20:23.65\00:20:25.39
to his children's children."
00:20:25.42\00:20:27.62
Sometime we don't have very much
00:20:27.66\00:20:28.99
but it says to
leave that inheritance
00:20:29.02\00:20:30.36
to the children's children,
00:20:30.39\00:20:31.73
even more than material things.
00:20:31.76\00:20:33.09
I think it's so important
that we leave their children
00:20:33.13\00:20:35.40
and as a good
father, a good spiritual path
00:20:35.43\00:20:38.03
in which to walk.
00:20:38.07\00:20:40.17
Every father
should be interested
00:20:40.20\00:20:41.54
in what's going to
happen to his children,
00:20:41.57\00:20:43.77
and certainly to
become heirs of salvation.
00:20:43.84\00:20:46.47
The Bible talks
about in Hebrews 1:14,
00:20:46.51\00:20:49.71
"Inheritance,
incorruptible," the Bible says,
00:20:49.74\00:20:52.38
"undefiled and
that fadeth not away,"
00:20:52.41\00:20:54.75
1 Peter 1:14.
00:20:54.78\00:20:56.38
So that's what we
want to leave behind.
00:20:56.42\00:20:58.65
We're talking spiritual things,
00:20:58.69\00:21:00.09
not the material
things necessarily.
00:21:00.16\00:21:01.96
We're talking about
spiritual inheritance
00:21:01.99\00:21:04.23
father needs to leave.
00:21:04.26\00:21:05.59
A good father wants
his children to be humble.
00:21:05.63\00:21:08.33
I wanna make this point,
00:21:08.36\00:21:09.70
teach the children to be humble.
00:21:09.73\00:21:11.10
That means, you know,
00:21:11.13\00:21:12.47
that's also a condition
of the heart, to be humble.
00:21:12.50\00:21:14.80
It's hard to teach
children to be humble
00:21:14.84\00:21:16.47
when we're...
00:21:16.50\00:21:17.84
Oh, boy, look out.
00:21:17.87\00:21:19.21
When we're always praising them,
00:21:19.24\00:21:20.58
when we're always elevating,
00:21:20.64\00:21:21.98
we're telling how
good looking they are
00:21:22.01\00:21:23.35
or how smart they are,
00:21:23.38\00:21:24.71
everything that they can do.
00:21:24.75\00:21:26.08
It's hard to have a
nice little humble mind,
00:21:26.11\00:21:27.72
isn't it?
00:21:27.75\00:21:29.08
Think about, we
need to be very careful
00:21:29.12\00:21:30.45
that which we
bestow upon our children
00:21:30.49\00:21:31.92
because that's
what they become like,
00:21:31.95\00:21:33.62
they begin to think
that's really what I am
00:21:33.66\00:21:35.42
rather than a teachable spirit.
00:21:35.46\00:21:39.03
The Bible says, you
know, "In good time,
00:21:39.06\00:21:41.13
the Lord will exalt you,
00:21:41.16\00:21:42.50
He'll elevate you in good time."
00:21:42.53\00:21:44.20
"Cast all your
cares," 1 Peter says,
00:21:44.23\00:21:46.50
"all your cares on
Him because He," what?
00:21:46.53\00:21:48.27
"Cares for you."
00:21:48.30\00:21:49.64
"Because He cares for you."
00:21:49.67\00:21:51.01
You wanna be a good husband,
you wanna be a good father,
00:21:51.04\00:21:53.41
cast your cares on Him.
00:21:53.44\00:21:55.34
Go to God and tell
Him, we made mistakes.
00:21:55.38\00:21:56.98
Go to Him and say I
made a lot of mistakes.
00:21:57.01\00:21:58.71
Not a one of us
probably would look
00:21:58.75\00:22:00.65
around in our life and say,
00:22:00.72\00:22:02.05
"Oh, yeah, I did
everything exactly right."
00:22:02.08\00:22:03.42
No, I made a lot of mistakes.
00:22:03.45\00:22:04.82
You look back, now it's
easy to see those things.
00:22:04.85\00:22:07.16
But you know, to
certain extent I think they can,
00:22:07.19\00:22:09.22
they really can be
rectified by the grace of God
00:22:09.26\00:22:11.46
to set the right
example and the right influence.
00:22:11.49\00:22:14.30
So we need to...
00:22:14.30\00:22:15.63
He said, He may exalt you.
00:22:15.66\00:22:17.00
To me the exalt
is to lift you up.
00:22:17.03\00:22:18.40
He says, one of these
days I'm gonna lift you up,
00:22:18.43\00:22:20.60
notice that, in due time.
00:22:20.64\00:22:22.90
I thought what?
00:22:22.94\00:22:24.27
Not in our time necessarily
00:22:24.31\00:22:25.64
'cause we're praying for
salvation of our children,
00:22:25.67\00:22:27.14
praying for
salvation of our grandchildren,
00:22:27.18\00:22:29.08
praying to be the right thing,
00:22:29.11\00:22:30.45
but God says in due time.
00:22:30.51\00:22:32.25
And I like that song,
00:22:32.28\00:22:34.35
"In His Time."
00:22:34.38\00:22:36.08
In His time, He does
all things beautiful, what?
00:22:36.12\00:22:39.49
In His time.
00:22:39.52\00:22:40.86
God does it in His
time. Just hang in there.
00:22:40.92\00:22:42.26
Proverbs 15:1,
00:22:42.29\00:22:43.63
just simply says as
follows, we need to learn that,
00:22:43.66\00:22:45.83
"A soft answer
turneth away," what?
00:22:45.86\00:22:47.60
"Wrath."
00:22:47.60\00:22:48.93
"Turneth away wrath,
grievous word stir up anger."
00:22:48.96\00:22:51.97
So in the flesh,
natural man sometime we look
00:22:52.00\00:22:54.54
and when we tend to
fight fire with fire.
00:22:54.57\00:22:57.14
Let's be careful
that we don't do that.
00:22:57.17\00:22:58.97
Let's be what God
wants us to be, fathers.
00:22:59.01\00:23:01.04
He's given us a call.
00:23:01.08\00:23:03.08
And that just
simply means you know,
00:23:03.11\00:23:04.51
get the kids up and
send them to church.
00:23:04.55\00:23:05.88
I really believe
you need to get up
00:23:05.91\00:23:07.25
and you need to go with him.
00:23:07.32\00:23:08.72
They need mom and
dad both in the family.
00:23:08.75\00:23:10.52
That's so important part.
00:23:10.59\00:23:11.92
That's the way
God instituted it.
00:23:11.95\00:23:13.29
So I encourage you
today as God has called you,
00:23:13.32\00:23:15.46
that you rise up
to that occasion,
00:23:15.49\00:23:17.43
and you say by God's grace
00:23:17.46\00:23:18.79
you say, you
can't do it, you can,
00:23:18.83\00:23:20.20
all things are possible.
00:23:20.23\00:23:21.53
Simply by God's grace,
00:23:21.56\00:23:22.90
get up and say God,
00:23:22.93\00:23:24.27
what You said in Your Word,
00:23:24.30\00:23:25.63
I wanna fulfill in my heart.
00:23:25.67\00:23:27.00
I wanna fulfilled in my life,
00:23:27.04\00:23:28.37
where I failed,
I'm miserably sorry.
00:23:28.40\00:23:29.74
Help me to do all I can.
00:23:29.77\00:23:31.11
Make sure things are set right.
00:23:31.14\00:23:32.47
Because I want
to see my children,
00:23:32.51\00:23:33.84
grandchildren in the kingdom
00:23:33.88\00:23:35.41
and because you've called,
00:23:35.44\00:23:36.81
you've chosen, you will send.
00:23:36.85\00:23:40.08
Wow! Praise the Lord.
00:23:40.12\00:23:42.38
Well, we're not quite
through yet with the study,
00:23:42.42\00:23:44.45
we still have much more to come
00:23:44.49\00:23:45.82
but for right now we're
gonna take a short break.
00:23:45.85\00:23:47.76
We'll be right back.
00:23:47.79\00:23:49.12
Ever wish you could watch
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School panel again
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00:24:14.05\00:24:15.82
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Welcome back.
00:24:26.13\00:24:27.50
It's a blessing
to have you with us.
00:24:27.50\00:24:28.83
We're gonna move
on to Tuesday's lesson
00:24:28.86\00:24:30.20
with Miss Jill Morikone
on Correction with Love.
00:24:30.23\00:24:33.30
That's right. Thank you, Ryan.
00:24:33.34\00:24:34.67
What an incredible study!
00:24:34.70\00:24:36.27
I've been so
blessed hearing and learning
00:24:36.30\00:24:39.44
from each one of you
00:24:39.47\00:24:40.84
and Correction with
Love is on disciplining
00:24:40.88\00:24:42.84
and correcting children.
00:24:42.88\00:24:44.65
I just wanna say
at the outset here,
00:24:44.68\00:24:46.68
you all know Greg and
I do not have any kids.
00:24:46.72\00:24:49.15
So with the principles
00:24:49.18\00:24:51.05
that I'm gonna be
talking about today,
00:24:51.09\00:24:53.42
five biblical
principles of godly discipline.
00:24:53.46\00:24:57.19
You know, Pastor John,
00:24:57.23\00:24:58.56
we got to get our list in there,
00:24:58.59\00:24:59.93
five biblical
principles of godly discipline
00:24:59.96\00:25:01.90
that these are
gleaned from the Word of God.
00:25:01.93\00:25:05.40
But I'm not
speaking from experience,
00:25:05.43\00:25:07.64
although I had plenty
of discipline growing up.
00:25:07.67\00:25:10.11
So I have
remembrance of discipline.
00:25:10.14\00:25:12.71
But whether you
have experienced or not,
00:25:12.74\00:25:15.34
the Word of God is sure
00:25:15.38\00:25:16.85
and we can trust in that,
00:25:16.88\00:25:18.35
in the principles we can find.
00:25:18.38\00:25:20.35
Failure to discipline
leads to unhappy children,
00:25:20.42\00:25:23.89
resentful
children, angry children,
00:25:23.92\00:25:27.36
children who lack self control,
00:25:27.39\00:25:29.19
who don't respect authority,
00:25:29.22\00:25:32.26
children who are selfish.
00:25:32.29\00:25:34.20
Proper discipline
leads to self-discipline,
00:25:34.20\00:25:37.13
self-control, self-confidence,
00:25:37.17\00:25:40.30
respect for other people,
both peers and authority,
00:25:40.34\00:25:44.74
the ability to
cooperate with others,
00:25:44.77\00:25:47.38
accountability and more friends.
00:25:47.44\00:25:50.85
I think there's two categories
00:25:50.91\00:25:52.28
that ungodly
discipline falls into,
00:25:52.31\00:25:54.45
and then we'll talk
about godly discipline.
00:25:54.48\00:25:56.42
The first category
would be failure to discipline
00:25:56.45\00:25:59.25
with kindness and love.
00:25:59.29\00:26:01.49
These are people
who discipline in anger.
00:26:01.52\00:26:03.89
You've seen this.
00:26:03.96\00:26:05.29
I've seen it many
times in the supermarket.
00:26:05.33\00:26:06.73
The mom says, "No,
don't get that candy."
00:26:06.76\00:26:08.86
And the kid squawks
a bit and the mom says,
00:26:08.90\00:26:10.50
"No! I said no!"
00:26:10.57\00:26:11.90
And the kid squawks a bit more.
00:26:11.93\00:26:13.54
And then she loses her temper,
00:26:13.57\00:26:15.10
and she starts to
yell and scream at the kids
00:26:15.14\00:26:17.11
in order to get attention,
00:26:17.14\00:26:19.31
in order to have the child
00:26:19.34\00:26:20.88
even listen to her and obey her.
00:26:20.91\00:26:23.35
That's disciplining with anger.
00:26:23.38\00:26:24.78
That is not good discipline.
00:26:24.81\00:26:26.51
There's also disciplining
because you're embarrassed.
00:26:26.55\00:26:30.49
Maybe your child is
socially embarrassing you
00:26:30.52\00:26:32.99
and you think, "I just
got to correct this right now
00:26:33.02\00:26:35.12
and I got to do
something about it."
00:26:35.16\00:26:37.03
That's not a
godly discipline either.
00:26:37.06\00:26:40.00
There's also discipline
as a form of punishment.
00:26:40.03\00:26:43.26
Now, we'll get into
exactly what that means later.
00:26:43.33\00:26:46.90
The other category, I would say,
00:26:46.94\00:26:48.74
would be failure to
discipline in general.
00:26:48.77\00:26:51.17
Maybe it's laziness, too
tired to correct this behavior.
00:26:51.21\00:26:54.51
Too tired or playing
lazy to just take care of it.
00:26:54.54\00:26:59.45
Maybe it's fear.
00:26:59.48\00:27:00.95
I wanna be friends with my kid
00:27:00.98\00:27:02.68
and I don't wanna
hurt their feelings.
00:27:02.72\00:27:06.25
Maybe it's a fear
00:27:06.29\00:27:07.62
because your own
parent disciplined you
00:27:07.69\00:27:09.82
wrongly as in, abused
you and you're afraid,
00:27:09.86\00:27:14.30
if you're gonna spank a kid,
00:27:14.36\00:27:15.66
what if I'm gonna
become like my parents,
00:27:15.70\00:27:17.57
so maybe you're afraid
00:27:17.60\00:27:18.93
and you back
away from discipline.
00:27:18.97\00:27:21.00
Maybe it's just
avoiding conflict.
00:27:21.04\00:27:23.74
Godly discipline,
00:27:23.81\00:27:25.14
I believe it's all
about redemptive correction.
00:27:25.17\00:27:28.61
The goal of discipline
is redemptive correction.
00:27:28.64\00:27:33.52
It's not about trying
to control your child,
00:27:33.55\00:27:35.38
but about teaching
them to control themselves,
00:27:35.42\00:27:37.99
or rather,
00:27:38.02\00:27:39.35
teaching them how to
submit to God's control.
00:27:39.39\00:27:43.16
It's not about punishing
a child for doing wrong
00:27:43.19\00:27:45.66
but about setting
boundaries and parameters
00:27:45.69\00:27:49.13
for when those rules are broken.
00:27:49.16\00:27:51.53
It's about
teaching right from wrong.
00:27:51.57\00:27:53.60
It's about teaching
boundaries and consequences.
00:27:53.64\00:27:56.87
It's about teaching submission
to our Heavenly Father.
00:27:56.91\00:28:00.21
That's right.
00:28:00.24\00:28:01.58
It's not punishment
nor an expression of,
00:28:01.61\00:28:03.38
"I'm the boss and
I'm the one in charge."
00:28:03.41\00:28:05.61
It's redemptive correction.
00:28:05.65\00:28:07.35
The purpose of godly discipline
00:28:07.38\00:28:10.05
is to lead those kids to Jesus.
00:28:10.12\00:28:13.69
My sister has four boys
and they're very active,
00:28:13.72\00:28:16.89
and in the home
they can be quite active.
00:28:16.96\00:28:18.86
Now Caleb's seven,
00:28:18.89\00:28:20.23
but when he was
little, maybe three,
00:28:20.26\00:28:21.90
just talking and you
know, running around,
00:28:21.93\00:28:23.80
I remember he was being naughty.
00:28:23.87\00:28:26.13
My sister corrected him.
00:28:26.17\00:28:28.10
And he's just tears
streaming down his face
00:28:28.14\00:28:30.61
and crying and all upset.
00:28:30.64\00:28:32.71
But yet his little
voice crying out Jesus,
00:28:32.74\00:28:36.48
help me be good.
00:28:36.51\00:28:39.15
And I thought,
00:28:39.18\00:28:40.52
that is the goal
of godly disciplining,
00:28:40.55\00:28:43.89
training children
to reach out to Jesus
00:28:43.92\00:28:47.06
because that's
me every day Jesus,
00:28:47.09\00:28:49.59
help me be good
00:28:49.62\00:28:50.96
because I
surely need help today.
00:28:50.99\00:28:53.06
So let's look at five principles
00:28:53.09\00:28:55.60
of godly discipline.
00:28:55.63\00:28:56.97
Principle number one,
00:28:57.03\00:28:58.73
children follow
what they see modeled.
00:28:58.77\00:29:01.97
Amen.
00:29:02.00\00:29:03.34
That's the first
principle of godly discipline.
00:29:03.37\00:29:05.21
1 Corinthians 11:1, Paul says,
00:29:05.24\00:29:07.71
"Imitate me, just
as I imitate Christ."
00:29:07.74\00:29:11.91
In Greek, the word for
imitate is actually "mimic."
00:29:11.95\00:29:15.52
So if parents model Jesus,
00:29:15.55\00:29:19.59
if they model His
character, and His godly traits,
00:29:19.62\00:29:23.96
what happens?
00:29:23.99\00:29:25.33
The children
will begin to follow
00:29:25.36\00:29:27.13
what they see
modeled in the home.
00:29:27.13\00:29:29.80
Choose to follow Christ,
00:29:29.83\00:29:31.17
choose to mimic
and to model Him,
00:29:31.20\00:29:33.44
and your children will
follow in that same behavior.
00:29:33.47\00:29:37.94
I remember my mom,
00:29:37.97\00:29:39.31
and she would be very open
and candid with you about this
00:29:39.34\00:29:42.04
that she used to have a temper
when I was young growing up.
00:29:42.08\00:29:45.21
And when God got a hold
of her and she met Jesus,
00:29:45.25\00:29:48.08
and she changed the
behavior that she modeled for me
00:29:48.12\00:29:53.36
was the reason I chose
to follow Jesus myself.
00:29:53.39\00:29:55.26
Amen.
00:29:55.29\00:29:56.62
Because of the
behavior that she modeled,
00:29:56.66\00:29:58.53
so principle one is children
follow what they see modeled.
00:29:58.56\00:30:01.63
Principle two,
00:30:01.66\00:30:03.00
love precedes any discipline.
00:30:03.03\00:30:06.57
Turn with me to Proverbs 3.
00:30:06.60\00:30:08.77
Proverbs 3:11-12,
00:30:08.80\00:30:12.44
"My son, do not despise
the chastening of the Lord,
00:30:12.47\00:30:16.24
nor detest His correction.
00:30:16.28\00:30:17.98
For whom the Lord
hates He corrects..."
00:30:18.01\00:30:20.52
What does it says?
00:30:20.58\00:30:21.92
"For whom the
Lord loves He corrects,
00:30:21.95\00:30:24.29
just as a father, the
son in whom he delights."
00:30:24.32\00:30:28.29
So the love comes
before the discipline.
00:30:28.32\00:30:31.83
In other words,
because God loves us,
00:30:31.86\00:30:34.13
He corrects us.
00:30:34.20\00:30:35.50
Because you love your children,
00:30:35.53\00:30:37.43
you need to administer
some godly discipline.
00:30:37.50\00:30:41.57
If you don't
love your kids first,
00:30:41.60\00:30:43.04
discipline is ineffective
00:30:43.07\00:30:45.11
and you have no
basis for correcting them.
00:30:45.14\00:30:47.14
So delight in your
kids, spend time with them,
00:30:47.21\00:30:51.11
love them,
00:30:51.15\00:30:52.48
and that will make a difference.
00:30:52.51\00:30:53.85
Pastor Kenny, I was
spanked more than my share
00:30:53.88\00:30:57.35
when I was young growing up.
00:30:57.42\00:30:59.25
And I remember one
time in particular,
00:30:59.29\00:31:01.12
I was probably ten,
00:31:01.16\00:31:02.49
and I had really
pushed my mom's buttons
00:31:02.52\00:31:04.69
and I knew I
was in for spanking,
00:31:04.73\00:31:06.13
you just know it's coming.
00:31:06.16\00:31:07.60
And I was in the
bedroom and she comes in,
00:31:07.60\00:31:09.83
and I thought,
"Okay, this is it,
00:31:09.86\00:31:11.53
you know, I know it's coming."
00:31:11.57\00:31:13.54
And instead she knelt
down, and she began to cry.
00:31:13.60\00:31:16.47
Yes.
00:31:16.50\00:31:17.84
And she said, "God forgive me
00:31:17.87\00:31:20.18
for not being a
better parent to Jill.
00:31:20.24\00:31:22.61
Help me know how
to do this mom thing."
00:31:22.64\00:31:25.01
That broke me
00:31:25.05\00:31:27.28
more than any other
spanking ever could,
00:31:27.32\00:31:29.42
and we're not
saying there are times
00:31:29.45\00:31:31.42
to properly
administer a little swat.
00:31:31.45\00:31:34.52
I'm not saying
that, but in this case,
00:31:34.56\00:31:37.19
that love that she had for me,
00:31:37.23\00:31:39.53
that's what melted
and broke my heart.
00:31:39.56\00:31:41.46
Amen.
00:31:41.50\00:31:42.83
Principle number three,
00:31:42.86\00:31:44.20
discipline trains
you and I in holiness.
00:31:44.23\00:31:47.37
Now, this is for us as adults,
00:31:47.40\00:31:48.77
God disciplines us
to train us in holiness,
00:31:48.80\00:31:51.11
but as parents,
discipline your children,
00:31:51.14\00:31:53.11
train them to follow after God.
00:31:53.14\00:31:55.84
Hebrews 12:10-11,
00:31:55.88\00:31:57.95
"For they, the
fathers, indeed for a few days
00:31:57.98\00:32:00.92
chastened us as
seemed best to them,
00:32:00.95\00:32:03.25
but He," meaning God,
00:32:03.28\00:32:04.62
"He does it for our profit,
00:32:04.65\00:32:06.22
that we may be
partakers of His holiness.
00:32:06.25\00:32:09.52
Now no
chastening for the present
00:32:09.56\00:32:11.43
seems to be
joyous, but grievous.
00:32:11.46\00:32:13.90
Nevertheless, afterward
00:32:13.93\00:32:15.53
it yields the
peaceable fruit of righteousness
00:32:15.56\00:32:19.20
to those who are
exercised by it."
00:32:19.23\00:32:21.70
Proverbs 23:13-14,
00:32:21.74\00:32:23.97
"Do not withhold
correction from a child,
00:32:24.01\00:32:26.84
for if you beat him
with a rod, he will not die.
00:32:26.88\00:32:30.11
You shall beat him with a rod,
00:32:30.15\00:32:31.55
and deliver his soul from hell."
00:32:31.58\00:32:34.28
Yes.
00:32:34.32\00:32:35.65
That means godly discipline
00:32:35.68\00:32:37.15
trains young people in holiness.
00:32:37.19\00:32:40.16
Proverbs 22:15,
00:32:40.22\00:32:41.86
"Foolishness is bound
up in the heart of a child,
00:32:41.89\00:32:45.13
but the rod of correction
will drive it far from him."
00:32:45.16\00:32:49.06
That's right.
00:32:49.10\00:32:50.43
The word for foolishness
in Hebrew means folly,
00:32:50.50\00:32:52.50
but it's the same
root word as evil.
00:32:52.53\00:32:54.44
So in other words, all
children have a natural tendency
00:32:54.47\00:32:58.57
bent that sinful
nature toward evil,
00:32:58.61\00:33:01.98
but yet,
00:33:02.01\00:33:03.35
discipline properly administered
00:33:03.38\00:33:05.55
will work to
drive that from them.
00:33:05.58\00:33:08.58
Principle number four,
00:33:08.62\00:33:09.95
discipline
consistently and promptly.
00:33:09.98\00:33:14.72
Love here is still
the primary discipline,
00:33:14.76\00:33:16.73
not forced, but it
needs to be consistent.
00:33:16.76\00:33:18.59
I can remember one
time sitting at a table
00:33:18.63\00:33:20.93
and not liking
the food I was given.
00:33:20.96\00:33:23.53
Telling my mom, "I
don't like that food."
00:33:23.57\00:33:25.33
She said, "Oh, you
said, you don't like it,
00:33:25.37\00:33:27.04
I'll give you more."
00:33:27.10\00:33:28.44
And I got another
helping on my plate.
00:33:28.47\00:33:30.21
And I said, "What
you mean giving me more?
00:33:30.27\00:33:31.97
I said, I don't like this food."
00:33:32.01\00:33:33.84
She gave me a
third helping and I said,
00:33:33.88\00:33:35.84
"Jill, you
better shut your mouth."
00:33:35.88\00:33:37.31
So I did,
00:33:37.35\00:33:38.68
but it was like
I was trying to gag
00:33:38.71\00:33:40.38
as I was trying to eat, I
couldn't eat it very well.
00:33:40.42\00:33:43.15
She said, "No
problem, I'll take the food,
00:33:43.18\00:33:44.52
you don't have to eat it."
00:33:44.55\00:33:45.89
And I was delighted.
00:33:45.92\00:33:47.26
Then the next meal,
00:33:47.32\00:33:48.66
everybody had
their favorite food,
00:33:48.69\00:33:50.03
and I had the warmed
over food from before.
00:33:50.09\00:33:53.56
That is consistent discipline
00:33:53.60\00:33:55.53
and I learnt
from that experience.
00:33:55.56\00:33:57.50
You eat it quickly
and you don't complain.
00:33:57.53\00:34:00.64
Discipline
consistently and promptly.
00:34:00.67\00:34:04.51
Proverbs 13:24,
00:34:04.54\00:34:05.87
"He who spares
his rod hates his son,
00:34:05.91\00:34:09.01
but he who loves him
disciplines him promptly."
00:34:09.04\00:34:13.01
And finally,
principle number five,
00:34:13.05\00:34:14.98
resistance to
discipline or failure
00:34:15.02\00:34:17.29
to discipline
results in destruction.
00:34:17.32\00:34:20.16
True.
00:34:20.19\00:34:21.52
Proverbs 29:1,
00:34:21.56\00:34:23.09
"He who is often
rebuked and hardens his neck,"
00:34:23.12\00:34:25.96
which means resist, reprove,
00:34:25.99\00:34:28.66
"will suddenly be destroyed
and that without remedy."
00:34:28.70\00:34:32.27
So it's vitally
important that we discipline
00:34:32.30\00:34:34.84
and correct our
children in love.
00:34:34.87\00:34:37.07
Amen. Amen and amen.
00:34:37.11\00:34:38.81
Thank you, Jill.
00:34:38.84\00:34:40.18
You would have
been a wonderful mother.
00:34:40.24\00:34:43.85
I love the title of mine.
00:34:43.91\00:34:45.78
We know where we're
going as soon as you read it.
00:34:45.81\00:34:48.48
I have Wednesday's lesson,
"Is life better on a rooftop?"
00:34:48.52\00:34:54.12
If you know
anything about Proverbs,
00:34:54.16\00:34:55.89
you're going to
know where we're going.
00:34:55.92\00:34:57.29
We know where you're going.
00:34:57.33\00:34:58.66
A good number of the Proverbs
00:34:58.69\00:35:01.00
consider how we treat
each other in relationships.
00:35:01.03\00:35:05.90
And I wanted to start
off with Proverbs 17:22,
00:35:05.93\00:35:09.34
I was reading the
medical article the other day,
00:35:09.37\00:35:12.47
and it was talking about
00:35:12.51\00:35:14.58
how good
laughter is for the heart.
00:35:14.61\00:35:19.31
Yeah.
00:35:19.35\00:35:20.72
And I thought how interesting
00:35:20.75\00:35:22.08
because the Bible's
always told us that.
00:35:22.12\00:35:23.79
Proverbs 17:22 says,
00:35:23.82\00:35:26.99
"A merry heart
does good like" what?
00:35:27.06\00:35:30.03
Medicine.
00:35:30.06\00:35:31.39
"Like medicine,
but a broken spirit
00:35:31.43\00:35:34.60
dries the bones."
00:35:34.63\00:35:36.16
You know, a merry heart,
00:35:36.20\00:35:37.67
having a sense of
humor in family life,
00:35:37.70\00:35:41.10
very important.
00:35:41.14\00:35:42.57
It lubricates the
machinery of living together.
00:35:42.60\00:35:47.24
Doesn't it?
00:35:47.28\00:35:48.61
So it's something that will help
00:35:48.64\00:35:49.98
to reduce the
stress and the strains.
00:35:50.01\00:35:52.71
Humor should never be used
00:35:52.75\00:35:56.38
to minimize or negate sin.
00:35:56.42\00:36:00.79
I just want to say that
because if an issue is serious,
00:36:00.82\00:36:07.60
don't by pass it with
humor, but humor is really good.
00:36:07.66\00:36:13.94
We're going to look
at some practical ways
00:36:13.97\00:36:15.64
to approach this,
00:36:15.67\00:36:17.44
the idea of people
who are contentious.
00:36:17.51\00:36:23.28
Have you ever run into
somebody that's contentious?
00:36:23.35\00:36:26.55
Oh, yeah.
00:36:26.58\00:36:27.92
They're just hard
to get along with,
00:36:27.95\00:36:29.28
they nag a lot.
00:36:29.32\00:36:30.72
Well, husbands and wives share
00:36:30.79\00:36:34.56
the
responsibility of keeping a lid
00:36:34.59\00:36:39.16
on contentious
behavior in the family.
00:36:39.19\00:36:42.20
And, you know, sometimes,
00:36:42.23\00:36:44.93
husbands will nag a wife
or wife will nag a husband.
00:36:44.97\00:36:48.54
Husbands or parents
will nag their children
00:36:48.57\00:36:52.81
and we do that sometimes.
00:36:52.84\00:36:55.78
People do this
00:36:55.81\00:36:57.51
thinking that they are
going to effect a change
00:36:57.55\00:37:02.35
in that person's behavior.
00:37:02.38\00:37:03.72
Right.
00:37:03.75\00:37:05.09
Only God can
change the character
00:37:05.12\00:37:08.92
and the
behavior of someone so...
00:37:08.96\00:37:11.56
But let's get to where
our lesson title came from,
00:37:11.59\00:37:15.46
Proverbs 21:9.
00:37:15.50\00:37:18.90
And we can certainly say that
00:37:18.93\00:37:21.04
Proverbs uses some
humor to approach the topic.
00:37:21.07\00:37:25.91
Proverbs 21:9,
00:37:25.94\00:37:28.24
"Better to dwell in
the corner of a rooftop
00:37:28.28\00:37:33.92
than in the house shared
with a contentious woman."
00:37:33.95\00:37:39.85
You know, houses in ancient
Israel had flat rooftops,
00:37:39.89\00:37:44.39
and they would often
put up a little shelter
00:37:44.43\00:37:47.30
where they could
live on top of that.
00:37:47.30\00:37:50.13
I mean, you could
sleep on top, the rooftop.
00:37:50.17\00:37:53.40
Of course, it was
better to be in the house,
00:37:53.44\00:37:56.14
but what does the Proverb say?
00:37:56.17\00:37:58.11
If you're living with somebody
00:37:58.14\00:37:59.67
that's constantly nagging you...
00:37:59.71\00:38:03.18
Oh, my... Heaven help us, right?
00:38:03.21\00:38:05.01
Go to the roof. Yeah.
00:38:05.05\00:38:07.05
Now let's read another one
that says something similar.
00:38:07.08\00:38:11.25
Proverbs 27:15-16,
00:38:11.29\00:38:15.72
"A continual dripping
on a very rainy day..."
00:38:15.76\00:38:20.56
Now, I have to
ask you. Go ahead.
00:38:20.63\00:38:23.10
Have you ever
noticed after a rainy day,
00:38:23.13\00:38:27.97
you look up and
you see a little bitty
00:38:28.00\00:38:31.17
brown spot on your ceiling?
00:38:31.21\00:38:34.48
If you've never seen that,
00:38:34.51\00:38:37.08
it means there's
leak in the roof,
00:38:37.15\00:38:38.88
right?
00:38:38.91\00:38:40.25
If there is a
continual dripping,
00:38:40.32\00:38:43.02
you know, what happens?
00:38:43.05\00:38:44.72
What you see on the
outside is nothing compared
00:38:44.75\00:38:49.09
to what's going
on in the inside.
00:38:49.12\00:38:50.93
You're right.
00:38:50.96\00:38:52.29
And it's getting
ready to break loose.
00:38:52.33\00:38:54.20
"A continual
dripping on a very rainy day
00:38:54.20\00:38:57.13
and a
contentious woman are alike,
00:38:57.17\00:39:00.17
whoever restrains
her, restrains the wind
00:39:00.20\00:39:03.30
and grasps the oil
with his right hand."
00:39:03.34\00:39:06.57
It's impossible
to control the wind.
00:39:06.61\00:39:08.74
How long can you hang
on to a handful of oil?
00:39:08.78\00:39:12.05
Yeah. That's impossible, right?
00:39:12.08\00:39:14.85
So what they're
saying is the constant,
00:39:14.88\00:39:18.62
steady dripping of
nagging at somebody
00:39:18.65\00:39:23.86
and carrying it on
and carrying it on.
00:39:23.89\00:39:26.63
You gonna potentially
tear down a relationship.
00:39:26.66\00:39:29.20
That's right.
00:39:29.23\00:39:30.57
Now, let's
bring this in balance.
00:39:30.60\00:39:32.30
All right.
00:39:32.33\00:39:33.67
It's not Proverbs,
00:39:33.74\00:39:35.07
don't just talk about
women being contentious.
00:39:35.10\00:39:37.44
Look at Proverbs 26:21,
00:39:37.51\00:39:41.28
26:21 says this,
00:39:41.31\00:39:44.51
"As charcoal is
to burning coals,
00:39:44.55\00:39:49.98
as wood is to fire,
00:39:50.02\00:39:53.79
so is a contentious
man to kindle strife."
00:39:53.86\00:40:00.33
So you got a problem going on
00:40:00.40\00:40:02.20
and then you've got
some person, some man
00:40:02.23\00:40:05.87
that's nagging his
kids, nagging his wife.
00:40:05.90\00:40:09.17
They are adding
fuel to the fire.
00:40:09.20\00:40:11.31
That's right.
00:40:11.34\00:40:12.67
And, you know, I don't know,
00:40:12.71\00:40:14.78
it certainly
would be frustrating.
00:40:14.81\00:40:17.15
Praise God.
00:40:17.21\00:40:18.55
I'm not a contentious woman.
00:40:18.58\00:40:20.28
Praise God, my
husband's not contentious.
00:40:20.32\00:40:23.35
And I just have to
add one thing here.
00:40:23.39\00:40:25.95
Next to being contentious,
00:40:25.99\00:40:27.52
you know what bothers
me worse than anything?
00:40:27.56\00:40:29.62
A whiny person.
00:40:29.66\00:40:31.13
Oh, yeah. "Oh,
well, it's not my fault.
00:40:31.16\00:40:34.66
Look what you did." It is.
00:40:34.73\00:40:36.43
I mean, that's like...
00:40:36.46\00:40:38.37
And I heard myself
when I was sick last week,
00:40:38.40\00:40:41.70
I heard myself, I
said something to JD,
00:40:41.74\00:40:43.84
and I said, "I'm so
tired of feeling like this."
00:40:43.87\00:40:46.47
I thought, "Weren't that whiny?"
00:40:46.51\00:40:48.84
And I said,
"Honey, I'm so sorry,
00:40:48.88\00:40:50.21
that sounded so whiny."
00:40:50.28\00:40:51.61
I can't stand that,
00:40:51.65\00:40:53.28
but that's kind of a
contentious thing as well.
00:40:53.35\00:40:56.28
You know, we got
to watch ourselves.
00:40:56.32\00:40:57.99
Yes, we do.
00:40:58.02\00:40:59.35
Proverbs 27:3,
00:40:59.39\00:41:01.92
"A stone is
heavy, sand is weighty,
00:41:01.96\00:41:05.36
but a fool's wrath is
heavier than both of them."
00:41:05.39\00:41:08.93
Yes.
00:41:08.96\00:41:10.33
Proverbs 18:2.
00:41:10.37\00:41:11.70
I got this one out of
the NIV 'cause I like it.
00:41:11.73\00:41:14.57
"A fool finds no
pleasure in understanding,
00:41:14.60\00:41:19.81
but delights in
airing his own opinion."
00:41:19.84\00:41:23.08
Oh, wow.
00:41:23.11\00:41:24.45
While you think about
that in a family situation.
00:41:24.48\00:41:27.28
Wow.
00:41:27.32\00:41:28.65
There are some people
00:41:28.68\00:41:30.05
who have a
strong need to be heard
00:41:30.09\00:41:32.89
and they just always think
00:41:32.92\00:41:34.26
their opinion is more
important than anybody else's,
00:41:34.29\00:41:37.66
and I guarantee you
00:41:37.69\00:41:39.63
that is going to
create contention.
00:41:39.66\00:41:43.73
Proverbs 18:13,
00:41:43.80\00:41:46.53
"Spouting off before
listening to the facts
00:41:46.57\00:41:50.84
is both shameful and foolish."
00:41:50.87\00:41:54.28
So I have to say
00:41:54.31\00:41:56.81
if there is
anything that women tell me
00:41:56.88\00:42:00.05
is that they approach
their husband to say something,
00:42:00.12\00:42:03.42
and he's got the
answer right away.
00:42:03.49\00:42:05.32
Like, like thing, here
is what you need to do,
00:42:05.35\00:42:07.82
and they'll say, "Hey,
00:42:07.86\00:42:09.19
I don't even know
what's going on yet."
00:42:09.22\00:42:11.43
So we have to understand that
00:42:11.46\00:42:15.53
it's foolish to go
by our own opinion,
00:42:15.56\00:42:18.87
to spout off
before we're listening.
00:42:18.90\00:42:20.50
Listening is what
opens up the communication.
00:42:20.54\00:42:23.00
That's right. That's right.
00:42:23.04\00:42:24.37
Sometimes people nag because
they're angry and other times
00:42:24.41\00:42:28.08
it's because they
feel like they're helping,
00:42:28.11\00:42:30.61
but nagging never
creates a change that lasts.
00:42:30.65\00:42:35.62
It often causes your loved one
00:42:35.65\00:42:38.79
to feel like
they're under attack.
00:42:38.82\00:42:40.96
And when people feel
like you're under attack,
00:42:40.99\00:42:42.76
what you're going to do?
00:42:42.79\00:42:44.13
Retreat. Oh, yeah.
00:42:44.19\00:42:45.53
I mean, this is the problem
00:42:45.56\00:42:46.90
with among some, many
parents with teenagers.
00:42:46.93\00:42:49.10
It's...You know,
you just nag, nag, nag,
00:42:49.13\00:42:50.70
clean up your room, do
this, do this, do this.
00:42:50.73\00:42:53.27
Pretty soon, kids don't
even want to be around them.
00:42:53.30\00:42:55.34
That's right.
00:42:55.37\00:42:56.74
So it's a constant
steady drip like on that roof
00:42:56.77\00:43:01.61
that can cause more damage
than we see on the surface.
00:43:01.64\00:43:06.25
Nagging kind of
indicates condescending,
00:43:06.28\00:43:10.72
blaming or shaming.
00:43:10.79\00:43:12.99
It's a destructive form.
00:43:13.02\00:43:15.59
So here is what
Proverb says, Proverbs 18:21,
00:43:15.62\00:43:20.03
remember this,
it's so important.
00:43:20.10\00:43:23.10
"Death and life are in
the power of the tongue,
00:43:23.13\00:43:25.77
those who love it
will eat its fruit."
00:43:25.80\00:43:28.04
That's right.
00:43:28.07\00:43:29.40
When you think about
00:43:29.44\00:43:30.97
what you're
speaking to your children,
00:43:31.01\00:43:33.14
speaking over your children.
00:43:33.17\00:43:35.24
Don't sit there and
say, "Oh, you're worthless."
00:43:35.28\00:43:37.98
Oh my...
00:43:38.01\00:43:39.35
I mean that's
speaking death to a child.
00:43:39.38\00:43:42.35
You speak the Word
of God into their life.
00:43:42.38\00:43:46.59
God's loved you
with the everlasting love
00:43:46.62\00:43:49.19
and He's got a plan
for your life child.
00:43:49.22\00:43:51.76
When you're
speaking to your spouse,
00:43:51.79\00:43:54.93
you need to be
doing the same thing.
00:43:54.93\00:43:57.20
We're to speak words
that edify each other,
00:43:57.23\00:44:01.07
we're to hold people up,
we're to encourage one another.
00:44:01.10\00:44:07.94
Proverbs 20:3, 20:3, last one,
00:44:07.98\00:44:12.98
"It is to a man's
honor to avoid strife,
00:44:13.01\00:44:18.19
but every fool is
quick to quarrel."
00:44:18.22\00:44:21.96
Yes. That's right.
00:44:21.99\00:44:23.86
Man, that was good.
00:44:23.93\00:44:25.46
I think I wrote down
that about 12 scriptures,
00:44:25.49\00:44:28.73
and that was wonderful.
00:44:28.76\00:44:32.23
It's amazing that the
Bible gives such counsel.
00:44:32.27\00:44:36.10
Absolutely.
00:44:36.14\00:44:37.47
And when we dealt with
the Book of Revelation,
00:44:37.51\00:44:40.48
and we looked at
this lesson, we say "Wow,
00:44:40.54\00:44:42.38
it's going to be a
walk through the park,
00:44:42.41\00:44:43.75
it's gonna be
so light and airy."
00:44:43.81\00:44:46.11
It's not really.
00:44:46.15\00:44:47.48
It's really
giving us great counsel
00:44:47.52\00:44:48.92
and we are
enjoying every bit of it.
00:44:48.95\00:44:50.95
Mine, I'm excited about the one
I have, a truly wealthy wife.
00:44:50.99\00:44:55.92
I have a wealthy wife.
00:44:55.96\00:44:58.39
I'm not speaking
about bank account balance,
00:44:58.43\00:45:00.46
but about character balance
00:45:00.53\00:45:02.90
which is more than a
bank account balance any day
00:45:02.93\00:45:06.37
because bank
account balances fluctuate,
00:45:06.40\00:45:09.27
but when a wife has
a wealthy character,
00:45:09.30\00:45:12.17
it's a consistently...
00:45:12.21\00:45:13.88
It's a character that
consistently draws interest
00:45:13.91\00:45:17.35
from the husband.
00:45:17.38\00:45:18.71
Amen. Get that analogy?
00:45:18.75\00:45:20.62
Yeah. That's good.
00:45:20.65\00:45:21.98
Proverbs 31:10-31,
00:45:22.02\00:45:25.55
Proverbs 31:10-31.
00:45:25.59\00:45:28.22
Now what I want... I'm
going to read this now,
00:45:28.26\00:45:30.53
what I'm going
to say ahead of time
00:45:30.56\00:45:32.36
is this is an
overview of the qualities
00:45:32.39\00:45:37.13
of a virtuous woman.
00:45:37.17\00:45:38.97
But this is not a
checklist for a virtuous woman
00:45:39.00\00:45:43.77
because somehow some might say,
00:45:43.81\00:45:45.14
well, I never heard that before.
00:45:45.17\00:45:46.64
So if I'm looking for a wife,
00:45:46.68\00:45:48.24
I'll put each of
those in the checklist
00:45:48.28\00:45:50.55
and if she is
missing any one of them,
00:45:50.61\00:45:52.75
she is not going to be my wife.
00:45:52.78\00:45:54.28
It's not intended
to be a checklist.
00:45:54.32\00:45:55.68
Okay.
00:45:55.72\00:45:57.05
Proverbs 31:10,
00:45:57.09\00:45:58.42
"Who can find a
virtuous wife..."
00:45:58.45\00:45:59.89
How many times I've
heard that growing up?
00:45:59.92\00:46:02.32
"For her worth
is far above rubies.
00:46:02.36\00:46:04.93
The heart of her
husband safely trusts her.
00:46:04.96\00:46:10.27
So he will have no lack of gain.
00:46:10.30\00:46:12.90
She does him good and not
evil all the days of her life."
00:46:12.93\00:46:17.11
I'm reading this so far
reminds of my wife to the tee.
00:46:17.14\00:46:20.38
"She seeks wool and flax,
00:46:20.41\00:46:22.41
and willingly
works with her hands.
00:46:22.44\00:46:25.01
She is like the merchant ships,
she brings her food from afar."
00:46:25.05\00:46:29.42
My wife, when we go to
Walmart, she doesn't mind
00:46:29.45\00:46:32.05
if I go to the
electronic section
00:46:32.09\00:46:34.39
because it's huge,
it's like a neighborhood.
00:46:34.42\00:46:37.26
But she always thinks that
00:46:37.33\00:46:38.66
what we need
and she always says,
00:46:38.69\00:46:40.03
"Is there anything you like,
00:46:40.06\00:46:41.36
anything
particular that you want?
00:46:41.40\00:46:42.73
Now, you know,
husbands, some husbands
00:46:42.76\00:46:44.10
don't shop with their wives.
00:46:44.13\00:46:45.47
They cannot go
into a grocery store.
00:46:45.50\00:46:47.00
My wife and I shop together.
00:46:47.04\00:46:49.04
And she says, "I really
like it this time around
00:46:49.07\00:46:51.44
because you're actually walking
with me through the aisles.
00:46:51.47\00:46:53.64
All right.
00:46:53.68\00:46:55.01
Because she is that way,
00:46:55.04\00:46:56.38
she just is
always thinking about
00:46:56.41\00:46:58.45
how to make my life happier.
00:46:58.48\00:47:01.02
It's beautiful.
00:47:01.05\00:47:02.38
How to put on the
table what I know,
00:47:02.42\00:47:03.92
what she knows is
going to be a blessing.
00:47:03.95\00:47:05.29
When I'm doing my sermons,
00:47:05.32\00:47:06.89
I hear in the
background a familiar sound
00:47:06.92\00:47:09.19
that tea kettle, like
I tell when it starts.
00:47:09.22\00:47:12.09
We have an electric one
00:47:12.13\00:47:13.46
and I know that's my wife again.
00:47:13.53\00:47:15.36
In just a matter of minutes,
she is bringing me some tea,
00:47:15.40\00:47:17.37
and cookies, or
something to just keep me going.
00:47:17.40\00:47:20.64
She says, "I
know what you like."
00:47:20.67\00:47:22.90
Virtuous wife.
00:47:22.94\00:47:24.31
But you know, after 35 years,
00:47:24.34\00:47:25.81
if you don't know each
other, man, I tell you,
00:47:25.84\00:47:28.08
you've been ignoring each other.
00:47:28.11\00:47:29.88
And look where it goes on
further to say in verse 16,
00:47:29.91\00:47:33.31
"She considers a
field and buys it."
00:47:33.35\00:47:36.45
Very a woman that
considers how to invest,
00:47:36.48\00:47:39.05
and this
doesn't mean physically,
00:47:39.09\00:47:40.99
"For her
profits, from her profits,
00:47:41.02\00:47:43.73
she plans a vineyard."
00:47:43.76\00:47:45.19
She's not a spendthrift,
00:47:45.23\00:47:46.56
she knows how to be very frugal.
00:47:46.59\00:47:49.06
"She girds herself with strength
00:47:49.10\00:47:51.43
and strengthens her arm."
00:47:51.47\00:47:53.13
I love about my wife,
my wife is a strong woman.
00:47:53.17\00:47:56.17
I like that my
wife has been the reason
00:47:56.20\00:47:58.47
why I have avoided
some pitfalls in my life.
00:47:58.51\00:48:02.18
And women have a discernment,
I have to say this to men.
00:48:02.21\00:48:04.35
Women have a
discernment that some guys lack.
00:48:04.38\00:48:07.05
Some guys could be...
You described in some cases,
00:48:07.08\00:48:10.82
airheads.
00:48:10.85\00:48:12.19
There are airhead guys.
00:48:12.22\00:48:13.56
Honestly, there
are some airhead guys
00:48:13.59\00:48:15.32
because sometimes
they could be dweebs,
00:48:15.36\00:48:17.06
they just think with their heads
00:48:17.09\00:48:18.93
and not with their brains.
00:48:18.96\00:48:20.86
And sometimes,
they make decisions
00:48:20.93\00:48:22.23
based on what they
see and not on principles.
00:48:22.26\00:48:24.07
That's right.
00:48:24.10\00:48:25.43
And Pastor
Brook said it so well.
00:48:25.47\00:48:26.84
He is one of the men that
I continually refer back to.
00:48:26.87\00:48:29.30
He's resting in the Lord.
00:48:29.34\00:48:30.74
But he said, "God gave us wives
00:48:30.81\00:48:32.47
so that we won't
make fools of ourselves."
00:48:32.51\00:48:35.18
Yes.
00:48:35.21\00:48:36.54
And I'll tell you.
00:48:36.58\00:48:37.91
Here's one.
00:48:37.95\00:48:40.75
It says in verse 19,
00:48:40.82\00:48:42.15
"She stretches out
her hand to the distaff,
00:48:42.18\00:48:47.46
and her hands hold the spindle.
00:48:47.49\00:48:50.26
She extends her
hand to the poor."
00:48:50.33\00:48:51.69
Yes.
00:48:51.73\00:48:53.06
"She reaches out
her hands to the needy."
00:48:53.09\00:48:55.23
My wife and I in our past,
we haven't done that lately,
00:48:55.26\00:48:58.03
but we took in a
father and a son.
00:48:58.07\00:49:00.87
When we lived
up in the mountains
00:49:00.90\00:49:03.04
of Northern California,
00:49:03.07\00:49:04.41
they stayed with
us, they lived with us.
00:49:04.44\00:49:07.01
And we came to find out
that they were on the run.
00:49:07.04\00:49:09.41
The father was a
police officer from Missouri
00:49:09.44\00:49:11.85
and the son was obviously,
they were both on the run
00:49:11.88\00:49:14.45
because something
happened in their marriage.
00:49:14.48\00:49:17.05
And he was on the
run for attempted murder
00:49:17.12\00:49:19.32
so to speak,
00:49:19.35\00:49:20.69
but he didn't
try to kill his wife,
00:49:20.72\00:49:22.06
he was a police officer.
00:49:22.09\00:49:23.46
But we saw something in
them, they were on the run,
00:49:23.49\00:49:25.33
we said, "Where are
you going?" They said,
00:49:25.36\00:49:26.76
"We don't really know.
00:49:26.83\00:49:28.13
There is no place for us to go."
00:49:28.16\00:49:29.50
And we took them in
00:49:29.53\00:49:30.87
when we're living in a small
Pasadena region, California.
00:49:30.90\00:49:32.57
Lord impressed us to do that
00:49:32.60\00:49:34.24
and we were able
to sit at this table
00:49:34.27\00:49:35.84
with these two men
that were from Missouri.
00:49:35.87\00:49:38.61
And one evening as
we were having dinner,
00:49:38.64\00:49:41.28
getting close to Christmas,
00:49:41.31\00:49:43.28
the father said to his
son, "Go outside when I tell,"
00:49:43.35\00:49:45.85
Mr. and Mrs. Lomacang something,
00:49:45.88\00:49:47.25
and he said, you know what?
00:49:47.32\00:49:48.65
"I want to confess something.
00:49:48.68\00:49:50.02
I know now why
God brought us here."
00:49:50.09\00:49:51.79
It is because when
we look at Missouri,"
00:49:51.82\00:49:53.89
he says, "We
were very prejudice,"
00:49:53.96\00:49:57.26
but my son told me last night,
00:49:57.33\00:49:58.66
"Dad, we can't be
prejudiced anymore.
00:49:58.69\00:50:01.36
These people are not like
00:50:01.40\00:50:02.83
what we always
thought they were."
00:50:02.86\00:50:04.83
And we bought gifts for the son,
00:50:04.87\00:50:07.30
and for the father,
and on Sabbath morning
00:50:07.34\00:50:08.97
they stood up
in church and said,
00:50:09.00\00:50:10.67
"Because of the Lomacangs,
00:50:10.71\00:50:12.04
we're going to go
back home to Missouri,
00:50:12.07\00:50:13.98
and settle the things
that we are being accused of
00:50:14.04\00:50:16.44
and when we
finished and do our time,
00:50:16.48\00:50:17.98
we're coming back to California
and be members of this church."
00:50:18.01\00:50:21.05
And we left
before they came back.
00:50:21.08\00:50:22.68
When we went back,
00:50:22.72\00:50:24.05
the father was the
member of that church.
00:50:24.09\00:50:25.42
Praise God.
00:50:25.45\00:50:26.82
So you know, I believe that...
00:50:26.86\00:50:28.19
And my wife and the reason I
say that is because we did...
00:50:28.22\00:50:30.73
It was her approval.
00:50:30.79\00:50:32.16
Husbands, I want to say this,
00:50:32.19\00:50:33.56
never make
decisions about your home
00:50:33.60\00:50:34.93
without the
support of your wife.
00:50:34.96\00:50:36.30
That's right.
00:50:36.33\00:50:37.67
Some may say,
"I'm the voice here,
00:50:37.70\00:50:39.03
I'm the authority."
00:50:39.07\00:50:40.40
That won't go very far.
00:50:40.47\00:50:41.80
That will burn out very quickly.
00:50:41.84\00:50:43.17
Come on, can I
get an amen? Amen.
00:50:43.20\00:50:44.54
That will burn out
very, very quickly.
00:50:44.57\00:50:45.91
And so I'm not going
to go through all of this,
00:50:45.94\00:50:47.51
but what I want to give
you now when you read this,
00:50:47.54\00:50:50.08
you'll see that
the Bible has given us
00:50:50.11\00:50:51.71
a beautiful
blueprint of the qualities
00:50:51.75\00:50:54.38
that makes a wife a
delight to her husband.
00:50:54.42\00:50:58.15
But I've learnt
something as I've gotten older,
00:50:58.19\00:51:00.26
and I just use this
last Christmas as an example.
00:51:00.29\00:51:04.03
And I love
giving gifts to my wife,
00:51:04.06\00:51:05.89
and I said to my wife, "Honey,
00:51:05.93\00:51:07.96
if you gave me
nothing for Christmas,
00:51:07.96\00:51:10.37
there is nothing you could do
00:51:10.43\00:51:12.30
or give me to make me love
you more than I do right now."
00:51:12.33\00:51:15.40
And we had a moment in the...
00:51:15.44\00:51:16.97
We were in the Sam
Club the other day,
00:51:17.01\00:51:18.81
I'm kind of giving you
guys too much information.
00:51:18.84\00:51:23.31
We were in Sam
Club the other day
00:51:23.35\00:51:24.68
and from aisle
to aisle we paused,
00:51:24.71\00:51:26.55
for like, minutes,
00:51:26.58\00:51:28.15
and just started
talking about easy things,
00:51:28.18\00:51:30.39
tough things,
00:51:30.45\00:51:31.82
and there were moments when
tears came to both of our eyes,
00:51:31.85\00:51:34.66
and then we ended up in the back
00:51:34.69\00:51:36.52
by the bread island and
detergent, and that lights,
00:51:36.56\00:51:39.53
and we said, "That was so rich."
00:51:39.56\00:51:43.63
And she said,
"Oh, Honey, you know,
00:51:43.70\00:51:45.83
you don't know how
what you said to me
00:51:45.87\00:51:47.60
just melted my
heart, when you said, honey,
00:51:47.64\00:51:50.47
there's nothing you
could spend money on,
00:51:50.54\00:51:54.54
that will get me to love
you as much as I love you now."
00:51:54.58\00:51:59.11
It's far above what you can buy.
00:51:59.15\00:52:01.22
And we have those talks
at our home, in our bed,
00:52:01.25\00:52:03.99
we have worships together.
00:52:04.02\00:52:05.55
And let me just
give counsel to couples.
00:52:05.59\00:52:07.46
If you've been
married for a short time
00:52:07.49\00:52:09.02
or a long time,
00:52:09.06\00:52:10.43
get real with each other.
00:52:10.46\00:52:11.79
Amen.
00:52:11.83\00:52:13.16
No relationship is
as beautiful as you give
00:52:13.19\00:52:14.56
your wife
permission to be real with you,
00:52:14.56\00:52:17.03
and you give your husband
permission to be real with you,
00:52:17.07\00:52:19.70
but do this real
thing in this context,
00:52:19.73\00:52:22.37
you both win together
or you both lose together.
00:52:22.40\00:52:25.57
Yes. That's right.
00:52:25.61\00:52:26.94
Nobody wins an
argument in marriage
00:52:26.98\00:52:28.84
without both of
you winning together.
00:52:28.88\00:52:31.25
Nobody loses an argument
00:52:31.28\00:52:32.65
without both of
you losing together.
00:52:32.68\00:52:34.18
Do everything
with a primary focus
00:52:34.22\00:52:37.89
that is not her
against me or me against her.
00:52:37.92\00:52:41.56
It's us against them.
00:52:41.59\00:52:44.49
You know, like this
is just the two of us.
00:52:44.53\00:52:47.10
That song that Yvonne
Lewis sang in the background
00:52:47.13\00:52:49.23
on just the two of us.
00:52:49.26\00:52:50.80
And I told this to
a couple once, I said,
00:52:50.83\00:52:52.23
"You know, if the
entire world falls apart,
00:52:52.27\00:52:54.84
and you can come home,
and walk through that door,
00:52:54.87\00:52:57.24
and feel that
you are in a fortress
00:52:57.27\00:52:58.81
where you are loved
for the husband and wife."
00:52:58.84\00:53:01.64
I don't really care
about the storms outside.
00:53:01.68\00:53:04.25
That's why when we
travel, we go together,
00:53:04.28\00:53:06.72
because the storms of life,
00:53:06.75\00:53:08.32
I can handle them
with my wife by my side.
00:53:08.35\00:53:11.25
So here are some of the things
00:53:11.29\00:53:12.62
that we have
practiced in our marriage
00:53:12.65\00:53:13.99
that makes it so much beautiful,
00:53:14.06\00:53:15.39
and I want to
bring this point out.
00:53:15.42\00:53:16.83
You know, when this was
written in the Proverbs,
00:53:16.86\00:53:19.73
the 22-letter
alphabet of the Hebrews,
00:53:19.76\00:53:22.80
the writer said
was almost insufficient
00:53:22.83\00:53:25.13
to really bring
out the qualities
00:53:25.17\00:53:26.70
of a virtuous woman.
00:53:26.74\00:53:28.14
But here is what we do together
00:53:28.17\00:53:29.50
and this is the
patterns of our lives
00:53:29.54\00:53:30.87
that we practiced
through the years.
00:53:30.91\00:53:32.24
We laugh
together, we study together,
00:53:32.27\00:53:35.28
we pray together,
we travel together.
00:53:35.31\00:53:38.15
We are not putting a bucket-list
00:53:38.18\00:53:40.22
to remember to
travel later on in life,
00:53:40.28\00:53:42.08
we do that now.
00:53:42.12\00:53:43.75
We disagree together
00:53:43.79\00:53:45.12
with the
intention of mutual victory.
00:53:45.15\00:53:47.52
We shop together,
00:53:47.56\00:53:49.56
we play together,
00:53:49.59\00:53:51.03
we actually eat
dinner at the same time,
00:53:51.06\00:53:53.06
at the same table together.
00:53:53.09\00:53:55.30
We clean house together.
00:53:55.33\00:53:56.70
I know what...
00:53:56.73\00:53:58.07
She knows what I
clean better than her,
00:53:58.10\00:53:59.43
I know what she
does better than me.
00:53:59.47\00:54:00.87
"Honey, you could do
all the dishes in the world,
00:54:00.90\00:54:02.67
I'll do everything else."
00:54:02.70\00:54:04.11
I do not like doing dishes.
00:54:04.14\00:54:05.67
We know what each
other likes and don't like.
00:54:05.71\00:54:08.31
We and...You know,
00:54:08.34\00:54:09.68
this one thing that I
want to kind of just milk.
00:54:09.71\00:54:12.31
We are preparing
for eternity together.
00:54:12.35\00:54:15.05
Amen. That's right.
00:54:15.08\00:54:16.42
'Cause I said, "Honey,
00:54:16.45\00:54:17.79
if you're this good
on this side of heaven,
00:54:17.82\00:54:19.59
I can't wait for
the perfect version
00:54:19.62\00:54:21.19
on the other side."
00:54:21.22\00:54:22.56
So we have the
saying, I end with this.
00:54:22.59\00:54:24.03
We have the
saying, "Together, forever,
00:54:24.06\00:54:27.03
eternity in view."
00:54:27.10\00:54:28.40
And that's our eternal pledge.
00:54:28.43\00:54:30.03
Amen.
00:54:30.07\00:54:31.40
I have a virtuous woman. Amen.
00:54:31.43\00:54:33.03
You're blessed man. You do.
00:54:33.07\00:54:34.40
Praise the Lord. Amen.
00:54:34.44\00:54:35.77
Wow.
00:54:35.80\00:54:37.17
This truly was a
lesson of wise words.
00:54:37.21\00:54:40.14
The Book of Proverbs is so rich.
00:54:40.18\00:54:41.71
I praise the Lord
for the Word of God.
00:54:41.74\00:54:43.71
Why don't we take
just a few moments
00:54:43.75\00:54:45.45
that each one
of you on the panel
00:54:45.48\00:54:46.82
just reflect
something from your heart
00:54:46.88\00:54:49.12
on today's lesson?
00:54:49.15\00:54:50.49
Well, I jotted
down a couple of thing
00:54:50.55\00:54:51.89
I thought was interesting.
00:54:51.92\00:54:53.25
What everybody said
was really interesting.
00:54:53.29\00:54:55.26
We need to cultivate a love
00:54:55.29\00:54:57.83
for meditation and
spiritual devotion,
00:54:57.86\00:55:00.43
you take that time,
spend it with one another,
00:55:00.46\00:55:02.76
family and friends,
spend it in the church,
00:55:02.80\00:55:04.90
with church family.
00:55:04.93\00:55:06.27
And, you know,
00:55:06.30\00:55:07.64
and discipline the mind
to think upon godly things.
00:55:07.67\00:55:10.11
Be ready 'cause I
know He is coming soon.
00:55:10.14\00:55:12.04
It's true, Pastor Kenny.
00:55:12.07\00:55:13.78
I did not touch this
when I talked about it,
00:55:13.81\00:55:15.38
but if you are
disciplining your kids
00:55:15.41\00:55:17.95
and you listen to
this, and you said,
00:55:17.98\00:55:19.31
"I'm doing it all wrong."
00:55:19.35\00:55:20.82
Don't be discouraged.
00:55:20.85\00:55:22.18
Right now, you can
come to the Lord Jesus,
00:55:22.22\00:55:24.29
you can ask for strength,
for forgiveness, for victory.
00:55:24.32\00:55:27.96
You can go back
to your kids and say,
00:55:27.99\00:55:29.56
"I'm sorry for the way I
have modeled this behavior,
00:55:29.59\00:55:32.66
and we're going to
do things different now
00:55:32.69\00:55:34.40
with Jesus as the center.
00:55:34.46\00:55:36.30
Amen. Amen.
00:55:36.33\00:55:37.80
I guess I would say
that one thing I think
00:55:37.83\00:55:39.90
it helps people in the oil that,
00:55:39.93\00:55:44.97
oil some family
life is to say thank you.
00:55:45.01\00:55:49.24
You know, when somebody,
00:55:49.28\00:55:50.85
JD and I still, I mean,
if he takes the trash out,
00:55:50.91\00:55:53.58
I say, "Thank you, Honey."
00:55:53.62\00:55:56.08
He tells me
thank you for cooking.
00:55:56.12\00:55:58.29
It's just something that
helps keep contention down.
00:55:58.32\00:56:02.99
And I want to
add this component,
00:56:03.02\00:56:04.36
and because I've been
married, going on 36 years now,
00:56:04.39\00:56:07.40
and I want to say that
00:56:07.46\00:56:08.93
a real marriage is
not a perfect marriage,
00:56:08.96\00:56:13.37
but the aim is perfection.
00:56:13.44\00:56:14.94
Amen.
00:56:14.97\00:56:16.30
Where there are fractures,
00:56:16.34\00:56:18.07
you both work on fixing
those fractures together.
00:56:18.11\00:56:21.04
Where there are weaknesses,
00:56:21.08\00:56:22.41
you both work on
strengthening those areas.
00:56:22.44\00:56:24.71
Where there are times of needing
00:56:24.75\00:56:28.22
to forgive one
another, you do that...
00:56:28.25\00:56:29.65
Amen.
00:56:29.68\00:56:31.02
Because victory in a
marriage is longevity.
00:56:31.05\00:56:35.69
It's not how excited you are,
00:56:35.72\00:56:38.56
but how willing you are
to invest everything you have
00:56:38.59\00:56:42.03
in preparing for eternity.
00:56:42.06\00:56:43.87
And my wife and I
know about all of that.
00:56:43.93\00:56:45.40
We've cried together,
we've laughed together,
00:56:45.43\00:56:47.74
we fought
together, we pray together,
00:56:47.77\00:56:49.54
and we're preparing
for eternity together.
00:56:49.57\00:56:51.24
Praise the Lord. Amen.
00:56:51.27\00:56:52.61
Praise the Lord.
00:56:52.64\00:56:53.98
Wow, you know, I
just want to leave us
00:56:54.04\00:56:56.01
with today's memory text,
00:56:56.04\00:56:57.41
what better way to cap
it off with Proverbs 3:5-6,
00:56:57.45\00:57:00.85
it says, "Trust in the
Lord with all your heart,
00:57:00.88\00:57:03.42
and lean not on
your own understanding,
00:57:03.45\00:57:06.29
in all your
ways acknowledge Him,
00:57:06.32\00:57:08.52
and He shall direct your path."
00:57:08.56\00:57:11.36
It's such a blessing that each
00:57:11.39\00:57:12.73
and every one of you
have been joining us.
00:57:12.76\00:57:14.63
We're excited
about next week's lesson,
00:57:14.66\00:57:16.30
so please tune in, until then,
00:57:16.33\00:57:18.70
we're praying
for you, pray for us,
00:57:18.73\00:57:21.04
and may we all grow
in the Lord together
00:57:21.07\00:57:22.80
day by day, moment by moment.
00:57:22.84\00:57:24.77
God bless until next time.
00:57:24.81\00:57:26.54
Bye-bye. Amen.
00:57:26.57\00:57:27.91