Good morning, friends.
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Welcome again to
Sabbath School Study Hour
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here at the Granite Bay
Seventh-day Adventist Church.
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I'd like to
welcome our online members
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and our friends
joining us across the country
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and around the world
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for our new
lesson study quarterly
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dealing with the
subject of the family.
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And we'll get to
that in just a few moments
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telling you what
lesson in particular
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we'll be studying today.
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I'd also like to welcome
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our regular
Sabbath School members
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as well as those who
are visiting with us today.
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And as mentioned,
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we've been into this new quarter
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for about four weeks,
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and we're going to be
studying lesson number five
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dealing with the
subject of the family.
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And today's lesson in
particular is entitled,
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"Wise Words for the Family."
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And that'll be our study today.
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For our friends
who are joining us,
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if you don't have a
copy of the lesson quarterly,
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you'll be able to
download today's lesson
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by simply going
to lesson.aftv.org.
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Again lesson.aftv.org,
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and we're
studying lesson number five
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so you can click on
that, download the study,
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and you can study along with us.
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We do have a free offer
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we'd like to let you
know about, a book entitled
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"Is It Possible To
Live Without Sinning?"
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This is our free offer today,
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for anyone in North America,
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if you'd like to
receive a copy of the book,
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the number to
call is 866-788-3966
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and ask for offer number 187.
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If you'd like to receive
a digital copy of the book,
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you need to
text the code "SH040"
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to the number 40544,
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and you'll be able to
download a copy of the book,
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"Is It Possible To
Live Without Sinning?"
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Well, before we get to
our lesson study today,
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we have a wonderful treat.
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We've got a group
entitled One Accord,
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and they're going to be
bringing us a musical number
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at this time,
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a very
appropriate song for today.
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The song is
entitled "The Sabbath."
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From the beginning You loved us
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And from Your heart
You have expressed it
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Through the
eternal gift that You gave
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In only six days You created
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The world a
masterpiece You painted
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But the seventh was exceptional
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Maker of the Universe
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I praise You on the Sabbath Day
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I thank You for this
time That You have hallowed
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A day that I can rest in You
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Glorious and Holy
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A day that You delight in
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A gift for the
world that You created
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I worship on the day
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That You have given me
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As time passed by
we grew so distant
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And we forgot
the gift You gave us
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The gift that will
remind us who You are
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Maker of the Universe
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I praise You on the Sabbath Day
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I thank You for this
time That You have hallowed
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A day that I can rest in You
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Glorious and Holy
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A day that You delight in
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A gift for the
world that You created
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I worship on the day
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That You have given me
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I'm the one who sanctifies it
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You will find your joy in Me
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And I will cause you to
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Ride the heights of the land
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The mouth of Jehovah says these
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Maker of the Universe
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I praise You on the Sabbath Day
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I thank You for this
time That You have hallowed
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A day that I can rest in You
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Glorious and Holy
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A day that You delight in
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A gift for the
world That You created
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I worship on the day
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That You have given me
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I worship on the day
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That You have given me
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I worship on the day
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That You
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Have given me
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Amen.
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Let us have prayer.
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Dear Father in heaven,
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we thank You for the opportunity
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that we have to gather together
on this Your Sabbath day
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to open up Your Word and talk
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about a very
important subject to You,
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an important subject to
us and that is the family.
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So we do pray that Your
Spirit to guard our hearts,
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our minds as we
open up the scriptures,
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for we ask this
in Jesus' name, amen.
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Our lesson today is
going to be brought to us
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by Pastor Doug.
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Welcome, morning!
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Want to welcome any
visitors here to Granite Bay
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if you're in the area visiting,
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we're glad you're with us today
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and want to welcome our
friends who are joining us
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for our Sabbath
School Study Hour.
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The majority of churches
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in case you didn't
know around the world
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are less than 100 members.
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And a lot of churches do
not have a full time pastor.
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And we're very thankful
that here at Granite Bay,
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we're able to help
provide some study for people
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who are shut-ins,
they can't go to church,
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and we just met
someone else this week.
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They said, "I'm so thankful,
this is my Sabbath School class
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because of my
health I cannot go, "
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or some people are isolated
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and so there's thousands
of people around the world
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that study with us
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or they're one of
our online members,
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and we want to welcome you.
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And I want to remind you,
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Pastor Ross
mentioned a special gift offer
00:08:08.08\00:08:10.09
that goes with today's study.
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We'll say more about
it at the end as well.
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It's called "Is it Possible
To Live Without Sinning?"
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Now, people read
that title and they think,
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"Oh, that's a scary title."
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You ought to read this book.
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It's really good.
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I read it once when
I was flying a plane,
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I put the plane on autopilot.
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And I read the book.
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It was a long trip,
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and it really encouraged me.
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So if you've not read that,
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I'd like to
encourage you to do that.
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We're in lesson
number five today
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going through our study
dealing with family seasons.
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And the lesson title is
talking about words of wisdom
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or wise words for families.
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The title is because most
of what you find in the lesson
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is talking about
Proverbs of Solomon
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that deal with the family.
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Some of the different proverbs
that would address family life.
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It's quite a few actually.
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And we have a memory verse.
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And the memory verse
is from Proverbs 3:5-6.
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I bet most of you have
already memorized this.
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But if not, this is
a good time to start.
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Why don't you say that with me,
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Proverbs 3:5-6,
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and here it's in the
New King James Version.
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You ready?
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"Trust in the Lord
with all your heart,
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and lean not on
your own understanding,
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in all your
ways acknowledge Him,
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and He will direct your paths."
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That is a great
promise for any young person,
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any person
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that is looking for
guidance in their life,
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trust the Lord
with all of your heart.
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And He will direct
your paths if you do that.
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Now, in our study,
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it's broken up
into several segments.
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As I said, most
of the scriptures
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you're going to
find in your lesson
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come from Proverbs,
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but I've taken the liberty
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of getting some
other related verses
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from a few
places around the Bible.
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First section is
love the right woman...
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as opposed to the wrong woman,
00:10:04.47\00:10:06.97
or if you have the right woman,
00:10:07.00\00:10:08.40
don't be loving any other woman
00:10:08.44\00:10:10.34
is what this is talking about.
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Now, if you go to the
Book of Proverbs Chapter 5,
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there is, there
in the beginning,
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a statement,
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and I guess it
starts with verse 3 here.
00:10:21.88\00:10:25.55
"For the lips of an
immoral woman drip honey,
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and her mouth is
smoother than oil,
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but in the end
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she is bitter as wormwood,
00:10:32.23\00:10:33.96
sharp as a two-edged sword.
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Her feet go down to death,
her steps lay hold of hell.
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Lest you ponder
her path of life,
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and her ways are unstable,
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you do not know them.
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Therefore hear
me now, my children,
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and do not depart
from the words of my mouth.
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Remove your way far from her,
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and do not go near
the door of her house."
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What's he talking about here?
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It's really
talking about adultery
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and or fornication.
00:10:58.45\00:11:00.59
Adultery is for a
person who is married,
00:11:00.62\00:11:02.62
if they violate
the marriage vows,
00:11:02.66\00:11:04.86
but the seventh commandment
also encompasses fornication,
00:11:04.89\00:11:07.96
sex outside of the
marriage relationship.
00:11:08.00\00:11:11.10
And here,
00:11:11.13\00:11:13.34
Solomon is repeating words,
00:11:13.37\00:11:15.50
he no doubt
heard from his father.
00:11:15.54\00:11:17.24
Now, how would David
be an expert on this?
00:11:17.27\00:11:20.81
Would David know
that that didn't end well
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in his affair
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and he would have
thought he had enough wives,
00:11:24.78\00:11:26.35
he had like nine
wives before Bathsheba.
00:11:26.38\00:11:29.72
And it also mentions concubines
00:11:29.75\00:11:33.12
and it led to all
kinds of heartache,
00:11:33.15\00:11:36.22
ultimately the
death of four of his sons.
00:11:36.26\00:11:39.79
And Solomon ended up
00:11:39.83\00:11:42.66
going down the same road.
00:11:42.70\00:11:44.13
Now,
00:11:44.17\00:11:45.17
what is the most important thing
00:11:45.20\00:11:46.57
a father and mother can
do to teach their children,
00:11:46.60\00:11:49.97
marital fidelity?
00:11:50.01\00:11:53.91
Example, be
faithful to your spouse.
00:11:53.94\00:11:57.41
Let them see you,
00:11:57.45\00:11:59.95
showing appropriate affection
00:12:00.05\00:12:02.92
for your spouse
and faithfulness.
00:12:02.95\00:12:07.32
Don't ever let them see
you getting too friendly
00:12:07.36\00:12:11.26
with the opposite sex.
00:12:11.29\00:12:14.86
There's a parable
I heard years ago.
00:12:14.93\00:12:17.83
A queen that had a
castle high up on a hill
00:12:17.87\00:12:20.47
with a long, windy trail
and all these switchbacks
00:12:20.50\00:12:23.57
with sharp ravines and cliffs.
00:12:23.61\00:12:26.27
Her carriage driver died
and she needed to interview
00:12:26.31\00:12:28.98
and hire a new carriage driver.
00:12:29.01\00:12:31.38
And they needed
exceptional skill
00:12:31.41\00:12:33.55
in controlling the horses
00:12:33.58\00:12:34.98
because of the treacherous road.
00:12:35.02\00:12:37.29
So the first one interview,
00:12:37.32\00:12:39.25
she hopped in the
back of her carriage,
00:12:39.29\00:12:40.66
she says, "Okay, I
want you to take me
00:12:40.69\00:12:42.06
up to the palace."
00:12:42.09\00:12:44.16
Said, well I got to impress her
00:12:44.19\00:12:45.56
that I can really
control these horses.
00:12:45.59\00:12:47.30
He said, "I'm
going to go up the hill
00:12:47.30\00:12:50.07
and I can keep this
carriage exactly one foot away
00:12:50.10\00:12:53.20
from the edge the whole time.
00:12:53.23\00:12:56.00
And he did.
00:12:56.04\00:12:57.74
The queen made no comments,
she looked very carefully,
00:12:57.77\00:13:00.44
he got to the top, she
said thank you very much,
00:13:00.48\00:13:02.14
she made a note.
00:13:02.18\00:13:04.28
Went back down to the bottom,
00:13:04.31\00:13:05.81
interviewed the
next carriage driver.
00:13:05.85\00:13:07.28
He had seen what had happened.
00:13:07.32\00:13:08.55
He thought, I'm
gonna have to do better
00:13:08.58\00:13:09.75
than this guy.
00:13:09.78\00:13:11.25
I can get that carriage
within six inches of the lip
00:13:11.29\00:13:15.52
and maintain
that the whole way up.
00:13:15.56\00:13:18.99
And so he took her up
00:13:19.03\00:13:22.06
and he was very skilled
00:13:22.10\00:13:23.16
and he kept the
thing right there
00:13:23.20\00:13:24.23
six inches away from the lip,
00:13:24.27\00:13:26.33
the precipice of the edge.
00:13:26.37\00:13:28.84
And she took some notes
00:13:28.87\00:13:30.44
and went back down again
00:13:30.47\00:13:33.21
and interviewed the
last one, the last one.
00:13:33.24\00:13:36.44
He hugged the inside of
the road all the way up,
00:13:36.48\00:13:38.78
even scraping the
carriage against the hillside,
00:13:38.81\00:13:41.48
a couple of
places in the bushes.
00:13:41.52\00:13:43.42
She hired him.
00:13:43.45\00:13:46.49
She said, "I don't
want a carriage driver
00:13:46.52\00:13:48.56
that sees how close
to the edge he can get.
00:13:48.59\00:13:50.93
I want one that'll stay
00:13:50.96\00:13:52.03
as far away from
the edge as possible."
00:13:52.06\00:13:55.16
How do you preserve
00:13:55.20\00:13:57.87
your vows in marriage?
00:13:57.90\00:14:01.34
By seeing how close
to the edge you can get?
00:14:01.37\00:14:04.07
You stay as far away
from that edge as you can.
00:14:04.11\00:14:07.54
You do not play with temptation.
00:14:07.58\00:14:11.58
I think it's a good practice
00:14:11.61\00:14:14.12
that if you're married,
00:14:14.15\00:14:15.72
if you're a woman,
00:14:15.75\00:14:16.82
that you have no male
friends other than your husband.
00:14:16.85\00:14:20.99
If you're man that you have
no female friends, I mean no.
00:14:21.02\00:14:24.69
If they are, you
know, 50 years older,
00:14:24.73\00:14:26.33
then people will
probably wink at that.
00:14:26.36\00:14:28.93
But if they're in the ballpark
of potential temptation,
00:14:28.96\00:14:34.80
don't have any
girlfriends if you're a man,
00:14:34.84\00:14:36.94
if you're married, your
wife is your girlfriend.
00:14:36.97\00:14:40.21
I think you need to
avoid getting close.
00:14:40.24\00:14:42.48
You know how often,
you've heard this story.
00:14:42.51\00:14:44.55
Guy works with the secretary.
00:14:44.58\00:14:46.18
They get close, they
spend a lot of time together
00:14:46.21\00:14:48.15
and then
00:14:48.18\00:14:49.55
one of them goes
through an emotional crisis
00:14:49.58\00:14:51.22
and they start
confiding in the other.
00:14:51.25\00:14:53.32
And the next thing
you know what happens?
00:14:53.36\00:14:55.96
People never
question my secretary
00:14:55.99\00:14:58.93
because it's my mother-in-law.
00:14:58.96\00:15:00.30
So I told you, I'm as safe,
00:15:04.33\00:15:06.03
I stay as far away from the edge
00:15:06.07\00:15:10.27
as you can be.
00:15:10.31\00:15:12.24
Not really, and if you know
00:15:12.27\00:15:13.51
that there's an
area of temptation,
00:15:13.54\00:15:14.74
if you find somebody
00:15:14.78\00:15:15.78
that you see that
you're attracted to,
00:15:15.81\00:15:17.88
don't flirt with them,
00:15:17.91\00:15:19.78
don't want to know if
they also feel the same way.
00:15:19.81\00:15:23.08
Just realize in your heart
that the human heart is evil,
00:15:23.12\00:15:26.42
desperately
wicked, who can know it,
00:15:26.45\00:15:28.42
don't trust your own heart.
00:15:28.46\00:15:30.49
And you stay away
from those, those areas.
00:15:30.53\00:15:34.10
So that's some of the
Proverbs, quite a bit of this,
00:15:34.13\00:15:36.36
and I'm not going to
read all of Chapter 5 for you.
00:15:36.40\00:15:38.97
Well, he does say in verse 15,
00:15:39.00\00:15:40.37
"Drink water
from your own cistern,
00:15:40.40\00:15:42.37
and running water
from your own well.
00:15:42.40\00:15:45.24
Should your
fountains be dispersed abroad,
00:15:45.27\00:15:47.44
streams of water in the street?
00:15:47.48\00:15:49.08
Let them be only your own,
and not for strangers with you.
00:15:49.11\00:15:52.51
Let your fountain be blessed,
00:15:52.55\00:15:53.62
and rejoice with
the wife of your youth."
00:15:53.65\00:15:56.32
Now, that's using Hebrew poetry
00:15:56.35\00:15:58.32
and it's talking about
that intimacy of marriage
00:15:58.35\00:16:01.56
should only be for your spouse.
00:16:01.59\00:16:04.56
It says, "Always be
enraptured with her love."
00:16:04.59\00:16:06.96
That's verse 19.
00:16:07.00\00:16:09.13
Someone's going to
read for me 1 Timothy 3:2.
00:16:09.16\00:16:12.50
Just a moment,
Hoftis, I'll read Proverbs 31.
00:16:12.53\00:16:15.60
Now, we'll read more
of Proverbs 31 later,
00:16:15.64\00:16:17.84
but notice here it says,
00:16:17.87\00:16:19.31
"Who can find..." Verse 10,
00:16:19.34\00:16:20.88
"Who can find a virtuous wife?
00:16:20.91\00:16:23.01
For her worth is
far above rubies.
00:16:23.04\00:16:25.11
The heart of her
husband safely trust in her,
00:16:25.15\00:16:28.28
so she will have
no lack of gain."
00:16:28.32\00:16:30.25
So having trust in your spouse,
00:16:30.29\00:16:35.22
you want to have a relationship
00:16:35.26\00:16:37.13
where you're not
jealous, you're not worried.
00:16:37.16\00:16:39.86
You don't want to do anything
that makes the other person
00:16:39.89\00:16:41.86
jealous or worried.
00:16:41.90\00:16:43.50
And trust is such
an important thing.
00:16:43.53\00:16:45.57
I never ever have to worry.
00:16:45.60\00:16:47.60
It never even crosses my mind.
00:16:47.64\00:16:49.74
When you've got that
love, and that trust,
00:16:49.77\00:16:51.71
and that
commitment in a marriage,
00:16:51.74\00:16:53.81
it just gives you a lot of peace
00:16:53.84\00:16:55.41
and harmony in the home.
00:16:55.44\00:16:57.51
I had a friend
00:16:57.55\00:16:59.01
and I don't know
whether he earned it or not,
00:16:59.05\00:17:00.85
but his wife...
00:17:00.88\00:17:02.95
She used to watch
a lot of soap operas,
00:17:02.98\00:17:04.35
she probably was
part of the problem.
00:17:04.39\00:17:06.45
And on the soap operas,
00:17:06.49\00:17:07.82
people are always
cheating and run around
00:17:07.86\00:17:10.13
behind each other's backs.
00:17:10.16\00:17:12.19
Now, don't ask
me how I know that
00:17:12.23\00:17:13.36
because I don't
watch soap operas,
00:17:13.40\00:17:14.56
but I know just enough about it.
00:17:14.60\00:17:17.13
And whenever he come home,
00:17:17.17\00:17:19.53
she's like going up
and sniffing his collar
00:17:19.57\00:17:21.90
and looking from perfume
and looking for lipstick,
00:17:21.94\00:17:24.81
and she just never trusted him.
00:17:24.84\00:17:27.11
And I knew the guy.
00:17:27.14\00:17:28.48
Sometimes he was out
with me doing a Bible study,
00:17:28.51\00:17:30.68
she says, "Where have you been?"
00:17:30.71\00:17:31.88
No.
00:17:31.91\00:17:32.91
And it just
was, it was miserable
00:17:32.95\00:17:35.75
and when there's no trust.
00:17:35.78\00:17:37.09
So you want to
have a relationship
00:17:37.12\00:17:39.02
with the wife
and the husband can,
00:17:39.05\00:17:41.02
it says, "His
heart trusts in her."
00:17:41.06\00:17:44.16
Please read for me, 1 Timothy.
00:17:44.19\00:17:47.50
1 Timothy 3:2,
00:17:47.56\00:17:49.40
"A bishop then
must be blameless,
00:17:49.43\00:17:52.00
the husband of one
wife, temperate, sober-minded,
00:17:52.03\00:17:56.10
of good behavior,
hospitable, able to teach."
00:17:56.14\00:18:00.14
Now the part here I wanted
to emphasize is very simple,
00:18:00.18\00:18:02.84
husband of how many wives?
00:18:02.88\00:18:05.15
One. What is God's plan?
00:18:05.18\00:18:08.72
In the beginning
He made Adam and Eve.
00:18:08.75\00:18:12.15
It was not Adam and Eve,
00:18:12.19\00:18:13.96
and Veronica,
and Jane, and Betty.
00:18:13.99\00:18:16.42
It was just Adam and Eve.
00:18:16.46\00:18:18.46
And God's plan is for
a man to have one wife
00:18:18.49\00:18:21.13
and a wife to have one man.
00:18:21.16\00:18:23.63
Every now and then
you hear in the news
00:18:23.67\00:18:25.10
about one of
these sorrow stories
00:18:25.13\00:18:27.47
about some guy that's
actually had two or three wives
00:18:27.50\00:18:29.54
around the country
00:18:29.57\00:18:30.51
and they don't know
about the other spouse.
00:18:30.54\00:18:32.04
They think he's
just traveling for work,
00:18:32.07\00:18:35.08
kind of bouncing
from family to family.
00:18:35.11\00:18:37.75
I don't know why a
guy would want to do that.
00:18:37.78\00:18:39.25
That would seem to
be really difficult
00:18:39.28\00:18:43.22
to not just maintain the lie
00:18:43.25\00:18:46.69
but support
multiple families like that.
00:18:46.72\00:18:49.82
Anyway,
00:18:49.86\00:18:50.86
so that's the plan,
00:18:50.89\00:18:53.96
one man, one woman.
00:18:54.00\00:18:56.20
Now, some people think that...
00:18:56.23\00:19:00.60
You don't hear the word
sex in church very often
00:19:00.64\00:19:02.87
because it's
viewed as a dirty word.
00:19:02.90\00:19:05.67
And in the
context of our culture,
00:19:05.71\00:19:07.61
it's always associated,
often associated with things
00:19:07.64\00:19:10.91
that are unsavory.
00:19:10.95\00:19:12.68
But technically did the
devil invent sex or God?
00:19:12.71\00:19:16.69
God.
00:19:16.72\00:19:17.95
And so in the Hebrew mind,
00:19:17.99\00:19:19.49
they saw that sex
was a beautiful thing,
00:19:19.52\00:19:21.22
read Song of
Solomon, within the marriage,
00:19:21.26\00:19:24.56
in the original plan,
00:19:24.59\00:19:26.80
and it's a blessing.
00:19:26.83\00:19:28.96
I'm not going to
take a lot of time
00:19:29.00\00:19:30.20
to talk about this,
00:19:30.23\00:19:31.23
but we get the
question every now and then
00:19:31.27\00:19:33.50
that because
the Sabbath is holy,
00:19:33.54\00:19:37.11
is sex forbidden on the Sabbath?
00:19:37.14\00:19:40.38
And, because it says,
00:19:40.41\00:19:42.41
not doing thine own pleasure.
00:19:42.44\00:19:44.71
That's a
misunderstanding in my opinion,
00:19:44.75\00:19:46.65
I say this by permission
and not by commandment.
00:19:46.68\00:19:49.22
But how many of you
00:19:49.25\00:19:51.62
enjoy eating food on Sabbath?
00:19:51.65\00:19:54.36
Do you find it pleasant?
00:19:54.39\00:19:56.89
Anyone want to admit to that?
00:19:56.93\00:19:59.29
So that verse is not saying
00:19:59.33\00:20:00.80
that you can't enjoy
any blessed pleasures.
00:20:00.83\00:20:05.43
What day of the
week did God make Eve?
00:20:05.47\00:20:08.24
Adam and Eve, sixth
day, you all with me?
00:20:11.51\00:20:14.68
Which would have been Friday?
00:20:14.71\00:20:15.81
What's the next day
00:20:15.84\00:20:17.01
that would have
been the honeymoon?
00:20:17.05\00:20:19.85
Can you really
imagine God saying,
00:20:19.88\00:20:22.62
he or she, yes,
00:20:22.65\00:20:23.92
I now pronounce
you man and wife,
00:20:23.95\00:20:26.19
you can touch her on Monday.
00:20:26.22\00:20:29.62
So, you know,
00:20:29.66\00:20:30.63
I don't want to again
build too much into that.
00:20:30.66\00:20:32.36
But I think the reason
00:20:32.39\00:20:33.56
that some people
ask that question
00:20:33.60\00:20:35.06
is we come away with the idea
00:20:35.10\00:20:36.36
that there's
something dirty or sinful
00:20:36.40\00:20:38.67
about sex within a marriage.
00:20:38.70\00:20:40.17
What's this next verse say?
00:20:40.20\00:20:41.30
Hebrews 13:4,
00:20:41.34\00:20:44.31
"Marriage is honorable
00:20:44.34\00:20:47.01
among all, and
the bed undefiled..."
00:20:47.04\00:20:49.44
That word undefiled means pure.
00:20:49.48\00:20:52.21
"But for
indicators and adulterers,
00:20:52.25\00:20:54.22
God will judge."
00:20:54.25\00:20:55.18
Now notice the
contrast Paul's making here,
00:20:55.22\00:20:57.59
says, marriage is
pure, marriage is honorable.
00:20:57.62\00:20:59.32
It's undefined in a marriage,
00:20:59.35\00:21:01.76
it's blessed.
00:21:01.79\00:21:03.49
It's supposed to
be a wonderful thing.
00:21:03.53\00:21:06.06
But then he contrasts
00:21:06.09\00:21:07.40
that blessed
relationship and covenant.
00:21:07.40\00:21:10.20
He says, but don't be mistaken
00:21:10.23\00:21:12.53
fornicators and adulterers.
00:21:12.57\00:21:14.10
Those are the ones breaking
the seventh commandment,
00:21:14.14\00:21:16.27
God will judge.
00:21:16.30\00:21:17.87
And it's listed among the things
00:21:17.91\00:21:19.27
that those that
practice these things
00:21:19.31\00:21:20.68
will not be in
the kingdom of heaven.
00:21:20.71\00:21:22.94
And in case
there's any ambiguity,
00:21:22.98\00:21:25.95
all we have to do
is read Matthew 19:4,
00:21:25.98\00:21:30.72
"Have you not read
00:21:30.75\00:21:31.79
that He who made
them at the beginning
00:21:31.82\00:21:33.19
'made them male and female,'
00:21:33.22\00:21:35.66
and said, 'For this reason
00:21:35.69\00:21:36.73
a man shall leave
his father and mother
00:21:36.76\00:21:38.69
and be joined to his wife,
00:21:38.73\00:21:40.30
and the two become one flesh?'"
00:21:40.33\00:21:42.66
Now, that's the
same phrase of God
00:21:42.70\00:21:44.30
saying the Father and I are one.
00:21:44.33\00:21:47.37
Jesus said to the apostles,
00:21:47.40\00:21:48.80
I pray that you may be
one, meaning the church members,
00:21:48.84\00:21:52.04
it's to be a loving,
pure united relationship.
00:21:52.07\00:21:55.88
"They two become one flesh,
00:21:55.91\00:21:57.58
so they are no
longer two but one flesh.
00:21:57.61\00:22:00.55
Therefore what God
has joined together,
00:22:00.58\00:22:02.85
let not man put
asunder or separate."
00:22:02.88\00:22:05.89
Those are usually the
words that I speak at a wedding
00:22:05.92\00:22:07.79
just before they
get to kiss each other.
00:22:07.82\00:22:10.76
Karen says,
that's her favorite part.
00:22:10.79\00:22:11.96
What God has joined together,
00:22:11.99\00:22:13.96
let not man separate.
00:22:14.00\00:22:17.00
And, now,
00:22:17.03\00:22:20.24
some other words of wisdom.
00:22:20.27\00:22:21.44
This isn't
directly from Proverbs,
00:22:21.47\00:22:23.00
but one of the reasons
00:22:23.04\00:22:25.24
that sometimes
marriages drift apart
00:22:25.27\00:22:27.04
is we don't accept and respect
00:22:27.08\00:22:31.78
that declaration
that you are one flesh,
00:22:31.81\00:22:34.55
and that really
you support each other,
00:22:34.58\00:22:36.55
you belong to
each other in a sense.
00:22:36.58\00:22:39.19
Paul talks about
that in 1 Corinthians 7:3,
00:22:39.22\00:22:43.19
"Let the husband
render to his wife
00:22:43.22\00:22:45.16
the affection due her,
00:22:45.19\00:22:47.03
and likewise also
the wife to her husband.
00:22:47.10\00:22:49.93
The wife does not have authority
00:22:49.96\00:22:51.47
on her own body,
00:22:51.50\00:22:52.50
but the husband does."
00:22:52.53\00:22:53.64
Now, that verse can be
abused if it's read by itself.
00:22:53.67\00:22:56.91
"Likewise, the husband
does not have authority
00:22:56.94\00:22:58.94
over his own
body, but the wife does.
00:22:58.97\00:23:01.71
Do not deprive one another,
00:23:01.74\00:23:04.51
except with consent for time
00:23:04.55\00:23:06.08
that you might give yourselves
to fasting and prayer."
00:23:06.11\00:23:08.08
Notice, he puts
marital intimacy and food
00:23:08.12\00:23:10.39
in the same category.
00:23:10.42\00:23:12.12
So there may be a time
00:23:12.15\00:23:13.19
where you say
we're going to fast
00:23:13.22\00:23:14.52
whether it's a Sabbath
or any day of the week,
00:23:14.56\00:23:16.49
from food and intimacy,
00:23:16.52\00:23:19.36
and you agree mutually for that.
00:23:19.39\00:23:23.30
You can't be saying,
00:23:23.33\00:23:25.13
every time your spouse
is interested, I'm fasting.
00:23:25.17\00:23:27.14
Because now I say this,
this is important, not in jest,
00:23:30.37\00:23:33.24
because in marriage counseling,
00:23:33.27\00:23:36.78
you sometimes find that
00:23:36.81\00:23:38.01
when there are
problems in a relationship,
00:23:38.05\00:23:40.15
they've been
festering for a while,
00:23:40.18\00:23:41.38
there's also been
no coming together
00:23:41.42\00:23:43.79
for a long time.
00:23:43.82\00:23:45.22
And people start
looking outside for affection.
00:23:45.25\00:23:49.09
And that leads to
all kinds of problems.
00:23:49.12\00:23:50.56
So, a multitude of
marriages could be saved
00:23:50.59\00:23:54.20
if they would pay
attention to this verse.
00:23:54.23\00:23:56.46
He said,
00:23:56.50\00:23:58.00
"If you're going to
fast and pray, that's fine,
00:23:58.03\00:23:59.67
but then come together again
that Satan does not tempt you
00:23:59.70\00:24:03.14
because of your
lack of self control."
00:24:03.17\00:24:06.47
All right, enough about that.
00:24:06.51\00:24:08.48
Now it's under the
section a call to fathers.
00:24:08.51\00:24:12.11
Fathers typically in
the Bible are understood
00:24:12.15\00:24:14.95
to be good providers and
protectors for the family.
00:24:14.98\00:24:19.29
They were also seen as
the authority in the family.
00:24:19.32\00:24:23.46
And women often were there
00:24:23.49\00:24:24.59
to provide
defense and protection
00:24:24.63\00:24:27.13
for the children.
00:24:27.13\00:24:28.36
The fathers also
protect the family,
00:24:28.40\00:24:30.00
but they
sometimes were looked upon
00:24:30.03\00:24:32.43
for the discipline.
00:24:32.47\00:24:34.87
How many mothers have said,
00:24:34.90\00:24:35.90
wait until your
father gets home?
00:24:35.94\00:24:39.04
You ever heard that line before?
00:24:39.07\00:24:40.31
All right.
00:24:43.41\00:24:44.85
Proverbs 13:22,
00:24:44.88\00:24:47.08
"A good man
leaves an inheritance
00:24:47.12\00:24:49.32
to his children's children,
00:24:49.35\00:24:51.82
but the wealth of
the sinner is stored up
00:24:51.85\00:24:53.66
for the righteous."
00:24:53.69\00:24:54.69
So what it's saying here
00:24:54.72\00:24:55.79
is that a father
is not only earning
00:24:55.82\00:24:57.93
and providing for the family,
00:24:57.96\00:24:59.29
but he's even saving
00:24:59.33\00:25:00.96
so that he's
thinking about their future.
00:25:00.96\00:25:03.97
Father's doing what?
00:25:04.00\00:25:06.53
He's thinking
about their future.
00:25:06.57\00:25:09.67
Good fathers are concerned
00:25:09.70\00:25:10.97
with the eternal
future of their children,
00:25:11.01\00:25:13.04
not only that they
might have an inheritance.
00:25:13.07\00:25:15.91
What's the most
important inheritance
00:25:15.94\00:25:17.38
that a father wants
to leave his children?
00:25:17.41\00:25:20.02
An eternal one.
00:25:20.05\00:25:21.92
And how do you
provide that inheritance?
00:25:21.95\00:25:25.15
By a good example.
00:25:25.19\00:25:28.76
There's some statements in
Advent Home and other books
00:25:28.79\00:25:33.73
that basically the first concept
00:25:33.76\00:25:35.30
that a child gets of
God is through its parents.
00:25:35.33\00:25:38.77
A child will see that
love and that authority,
00:25:38.80\00:25:41.74
that guidance,
00:25:41.77\00:25:43.91
that sacrifice
00:25:43.94\00:25:46.27
in the life of the parents.
00:25:46.31\00:25:47.44
You want to reflect
God as much as you can.
00:25:47.48\00:25:50.28
That's what a Christian is.
00:25:50.31\00:25:51.38
You're trying to model
and reflect the life of Jesus
00:25:51.41\00:25:53.75
in your life,
00:25:53.78\00:25:54.92
and that will be
seen to the children,
00:25:54.95\00:25:57.25
and it gives them
their first concept of God.
00:25:57.29\00:26:00.12
God is the one who provides.
00:26:00.16\00:26:03.09
Doesn't Jesus use the example?
00:26:03.12\00:26:05.73
"If your child asks
for a loaf of bread,
00:26:05.76\00:26:08.46
will you give him a stone?
00:26:08.50\00:26:10.70
If he asks for an egg,
will you give him a serpent?
00:26:10.73\00:26:14.77
If he asks for an egg,
will you give him a scorpion?"
00:26:14.80\00:26:17.31
There's one more,
00:26:17.34\00:26:18.54
and he says, "If
you ask for fish,
00:26:18.57\00:26:19.87
will you give him a serpent?"
00:26:19.91\00:26:21.11
Right?
00:26:21.14\00:26:22.54
And says,
00:26:22.58\00:26:23.58
"If you then being evil
00:26:23.61\00:26:24.65
know how to give good
gifts to your children,
00:26:24.68\00:26:26.55
how much more will
your Father in heaven
00:26:26.58\00:26:29.28
give to those that need Him
00:26:29.32\00:26:31.85
and to those that ask?
00:26:31.89\00:26:33.69
So here Jesus is
drawing that analogy,
00:26:33.72\00:26:35.89
you in giving and
providing for your children
00:26:35.92\00:26:39.16
are giving your children
00:26:39.19\00:26:40.23
a picture of God
providing for us.
00:26:40.26\00:26:42.30
God provides,
00:26:42.33\00:26:43.50
but you know what it says?
00:26:43.53\00:26:44.57
If the child asks
for a loaf of bread,
00:26:44.60\00:26:47.87
for an egg, for fish,
00:26:47.90\00:26:50.14
what are we supposed to
do with our Heavenly Father?
00:26:50.17\00:26:52.87
Ask.
00:26:52.91\00:26:54.01
It's okay to ask.
00:26:54.04\00:26:55.04
We need to pray,
00:26:55.08\00:26:56.14
and so God wants to
teach us to provide.
00:26:56.18\00:26:59.35
Proverbs 27:23,
00:26:59.38\00:27:01.58
"Be diligent to know
the state of your flocks,
00:27:01.62\00:27:04.22
and attend your herds."
00:27:04.25\00:27:06.45
Now, what flock and
herd is it talking about?
00:27:06.49\00:27:09.76
Not just the flock
outside in the ranch,
00:27:09.79\00:27:13.33
but fathers need to be careful
00:27:13.36\00:27:14.63
about the flock
that's under the roof.
00:27:14.66\00:27:18.43
Be diligent to know
the state of your thoughts.
00:27:18.47\00:27:20.34
How often do fathers and
I've been guilty of this,
00:27:20.37\00:27:24.91
so I'm talking about myself.
00:27:24.94\00:27:29.18
You wake up, you go to work,
00:27:29.21\00:27:32.15
you come home, you're exhausted.
00:27:32.18\00:27:34.78
You, you know,
00:27:34.82\00:27:36.32
try and take care
of your follow up work.
00:27:36.35\00:27:39.69
You got to say hi
to the wife and kids,
00:27:39.72\00:27:41.22
spend a little time
and then you go to bed.
00:27:41.26\00:27:42.69
You really don't have a lot
of quality time with the family
00:27:42.72\00:27:45.13
and you don't know
what's going on in their lives.
00:27:45.16\00:27:47.96
You don't know what's happening
in the life of the flock.
00:27:48.00\00:27:50.77
And so many children
when interviewed would say,
00:27:50.80\00:27:54.30
yeah, I grew up,
some never had a father.
00:27:54.34\00:27:56.10
Some say I had a father,
but it's like I never connected
00:27:56.14\00:27:58.54
because he was always working.
00:27:58.57\00:28:00.48
You don't want to be so busy
with the providing of funds,
00:28:00.51\00:28:04.75
and resources, and things
00:28:04.78\00:28:07.78
that you're not
providing of yourself.
00:28:07.82\00:28:10.85
And I think
this is a big mistake
00:28:10.89\00:28:12.09
the father's make.
00:28:12.12\00:28:13.12
My dad was notorious for this.
00:28:13.15\00:28:14.29
I tried to talk to
him in the morning,
00:28:14.32\00:28:15.56
he was workaholic.
00:28:15.59\00:28:17.16
He looked over the newspapers
00:28:17.19\00:28:18.43
as he was
checking on the stocks,
00:28:18.46\00:28:19.56
he'd grunt, he'd
come home late in the day,
00:28:19.59\00:28:22.33
sometimes 6 or 7 o'clock,
00:28:22.36\00:28:23.70
he already stopped,
and eaten, and drank,
00:28:23.73\00:28:25.30
and he came home
a little inebriated,
00:28:25.33\00:28:26.74
and then he fell asleep, woke up
00:28:26.77\00:28:27.80
and did it again the next day.
00:28:27.84\00:28:30.31
And it's like you
have no relationship,
00:28:30.34\00:28:32.51
and I've to fight
not being the same way.
00:28:32.54\00:28:36.08
We have a flock.
00:28:36.11\00:28:37.25
What's the most important
flock you want to take care of?
00:28:37.28\00:28:40.32
Jeremiah 13:20,
00:28:40.35\00:28:42.48
"Lift up your eyes
00:28:42.52\00:28:43.52
and see those who
come from the north.
00:28:43.55\00:28:45.75
Where is the flock
that was given to you,
00:28:45.79\00:28:48.46
the beautiful sheep?"
00:28:48.49\00:28:50.69
Now someday God is
going to ask every parent,
00:28:50.73\00:28:52.53
"Where's your flock?"
00:28:52.56\00:28:54.40
And He wants to know,
00:28:54.46\00:28:57.00
are you caring for their needs?
00:28:57.03\00:28:58.63
Do you know the
state of your flock?
00:28:58.67\00:29:00.10
Is what Proverbs said.
00:29:00.14\00:29:01.70
You need to know what's
going on in their lives.
00:29:01.74\00:29:04.24
How many parents have
been shocked to discover,
00:29:04.27\00:29:07.28
"I had no idea that my
child had a drinking problem.
00:29:07.31\00:29:12.41
I had no idea that my
child was using drugs.
00:29:12.45\00:29:15.95
I had no idea
that my child was out
00:29:15.98\00:29:18.82
shoplifting with the hoodlums."
00:29:18.85\00:29:20.82
They'd come home and
act like little angels.
00:29:20.86\00:29:23.59
And you wonder
sometimes where they're at,
00:29:23.63\00:29:27.20
but you know, you
figured everything's okay.
00:29:27.23\00:29:29.36
And you got to
start asking questions,
00:29:29.40\00:29:32.03
spend time with them.
00:29:32.07\00:29:34.44
Find out who they're with.
00:29:34.47\00:29:36.84
Get a satellite tracking device.
00:29:36.87\00:29:39.77
They have them now.
00:29:39.81\00:29:41.78
You can put an app
on your kid's phone
00:29:41.81\00:29:43.18
and know where they are
and who they're talking to.
00:29:43.21\00:29:46.51
And you need to know
not only where they're going
00:29:46.55\00:29:49.25
when they're out of the house,
00:29:49.28\00:29:50.29
you need to know
where they're going
00:29:50.32\00:29:51.39
when they're in the house
and they're on the computer.
00:29:51.42\00:29:54.69
That's a big problem these days,
00:29:54.72\00:29:56.79
is kids are in the room
00:29:56.83\00:29:58.03
and we think, "Oh, they're
at the home all the time."
00:29:58.06\00:29:59.96
We spend a lot of
time at home with our kid,
00:30:00.00\00:30:01.30
but they're in the room online.
00:30:01.33\00:30:02.43
You don't know who
they're talking to,
00:30:02.46\00:30:03.43
what they're doing, or
they're on their phone.
00:30:03.47\00:30:05.70
And don't be afraid to tell them
00:30:05.73\00:30:07.17
as long as you're under my
roof and I'm paying the bills,
00:30:07.20\00:30:09.24
I have a right to know,
God gave me that permission.
00:30:09.27\00:30:12.04
And you ask
them those questions.
00:30:12.07\00:30:15.01
Amen? Amen.
00:30:15.04\00:30:16.48
Know the state of
your flocks. Okay.
00:30:16.51\00:30:19.88
Proverbs 1:8-10,
00:30:19.91\00:30:23.39
"My son, hear the
instruction of your father,
00:30:23.42\00:30:25.82
and do not forsake
the law of your mother."
00:30:25.85\00:30:29.06
So it's also now for children,
00:30:29.09\00:30:30.36
not just fathers,
mothers, children,
00:30:30.39\00:30:31.83
listen, "Honor
your father and mother,"
00:30:31.86\00:30:33.83
fifth commandment,
00:30:33.86\00:30:35.00
listen to them,
their commandments,
00:30:35.03\00:30:36.93
they made mistakes I
don't want you to make,
00:30:36.97\00:30:38.70
trust them.
00:30:38.73\00:30:39.87
"It will be a
graceful ornament on your head
00:30:39.90\00:30:42.27
and a chain about your neck.
00:30:42.30\00:30:44.31
My son, if sinners
entice you, do not consent."
00:30:44.34\00:30:47.31
Listen to your parents.
00:30:47.34\00:30:48.84
Don't hang around
with the wrong crowd.
00:30:48.88\00:30:51.11
And there's just a
whole passage there
00:30:51.15\00:30:52.65
you can read in Proverbs 1
00:30:52.68\00:30:53.82
about the wisdom from a father.
00:30:53.85\00:30:55.95
Teach them to be God fearing.
00:30:55.98\00:30:59.75
The children are
going to see your reverence
00:30:59.79\00:31:01.19
for God
00:31:01.22\00:31:02.16
and that will be
replicated in their lives.
00:31:02.19\00:31:05.59
You know, I've
often seen that...
00:31:05.63\00:31:06.96
It's even more
important with the mother.
00:31:10.00\00:31:12.53
I don't know why,
00:31:12.57\00:31:13.64
but somehow the mother
seems to have a bigger impact
00:31:13.67\00:31:15.80
on the heart of the child
when it comes to reverence.
00:31:15.84\00:31:18.91
A lot of people I know
00:31:18.94\00:31:21.14
that have been
very reverent people,
00:31:21.18\00:31:23.04
very committed people,
00:31:23.08\00:31:24.25
they learned this
from their mothers
00:31:24.28\00:31:26.05
having devotions with
them when they were young.
00:31:26.08\00:31:29.35
But have regular devotions,
teach them to fear God.
00:31:29.38\00:31:33.22
I think it's both, it's
important for both parents
00:31:33.25\00:31:35.26
but I've just observed,
00:31:35.29\00:31:36.29
you know, I'll ask my friends
00:31:36.32\00:31:37.89
who I notice are
very reverent people,
00:31:37.93\00:31:39.53
I'll say, "Where
do you learn that?"
00:31:39.56\00:31:41.23
They say, "Oh, my
mother, when I was very young
00:31:41.26\00:31:43.13
taught me to fear God."
00:31:43.16\00:31:45.27
Now, there's some proverbs here
00:31:45.30\00:31:47.10
still under the
category of anger.
00:31:47.14\00:31:49.40
Someone's going to
read for me in a moment,
00:31:49.44\00:31:51.14
Proverbs 16:32?
00:31:51.17\00:31:55.91
Because fathers might
be involved in discipline,
00:31:55.94\00:31:59.61
it doesn't mean that,
that you ever lose control,
00:31:59.65\00:32:02.95
you should never
lose your temper.
00:32:02.98\00:32:06.12
If a parent loses their temper
00:32:06.15\00:32:08.26
and punishes
their children in anger,
00:32:08.29\00:32:10.83
I think the
Spirit of Prophecy says,
00:32:10.86\00:32:12.56
"You will beat more devils
into your children than out
00:32:12.59\00:32:17.23
by disciplining them in anger."
00:32:17.27\00:32:19.20
I thought that kind
of shook me one time.
00:32:19.23\00:32:21.67
You will beat more devils
into your children than out
00:32:21.70\00:32:24.81
if you punish them in anger.
00:32:24.84\00:32:26.37
Proverbs 15:1,
00:32:26.41\00:32:27.98
"A soft answer turns away wrath,
00:32:28.01\00:32:30.75
but harsh words stir up anger."
00:32:30.78\00:32:33.48
And I found that you
ever, when the kids are little,
00:32:33.52\00:32:36.32
you know and you're
trying to get their attention
00:32:36.35\00:32:37.45
and you're in the public
store or something like that.
00:32:37.49\00:32:40.06
And you say, you know,
hey, Daniel, come over here.
00:32:40.09\00:32:43.46
Daniel come over
here, you ever noticed,
00:32:43.49\00:32:44.83
parents keep
raising their voices
00:32:44.86\00:32:46.19
and sometimes they're
yelling at their kids.
00:32:46.23\00:32:49.13
With my kids, we taught them
00:32:49.16\00:32:50.27
that you might, you know,
once they just don't hear you,
00:32:50.30\00:32:53.13
you check the second time,
00:32:53.17\00:32:54.50
maybe they just didn't hear
00:32:54.54\00:32:55.60
because there's
outside noise interference
00:32:55.64\00:32:57.31
actually don't hear you.
00:32:57.34\00:32:58.37
Second time I raise
my voice a little bit
00:32:58.41\00:32:59.74
and then I
thought, no, they heard me.
00:32:59.77\00:33:01.74
Now it's question if
they're not listening,
00:33:01.78\00:33:03.55
then what I do is I would
say, Daniel, get over here.
00:33:03.58\00:33:07.68
When I gave them the soft voice,
00:33:07.72\00:33:09.55
they knew that
was the last warning.
00:33:09.58\00:33:12.39
I didn't keep raising it.
00:33:12.42\00:33:14.32
I knew they heard me
and I'd lower my voice.
00:33:14.36\00:33:16.69
And then they go, oh-oh,
00:33:16.73\00:33:18.13
and that was like,
00:33:18.16\00:33:19.79
you know, then
you got to listen.
00:33:19.83\00:33:21.83
So you want your children...
00:33:21.86\00:33:25.70
We kind of had a rule
00:33:25.73\00:33:26.77
and you know, we
made a lot of mistakes.
00:33:26.80\00:33:28.50
But the kids were pretty good
about listening when we said,
00:33:28.54\00:33:31.24
we're not counting to three.
00:33:31.27\00:33:33.41
After you, after
I know you heard me.
00:33:33.44\00:33:36.71
If you don't, if
you want your kids
00:33:36.75\00:33:38.18
to obey you after you
warned them three times,
00:33:38.21\00:33:40.05
they'll always wait
until the third time.
00:33:40.08\00:33:42.68
If you want your kids
to obey you the first time,
00:33:42.72\00:33:45.19
then once you
know they've heard you,
00:33:45.22\00:33:46.72
that's the time.
00:33:46.76\00:33:49.02
Now, you know, sometimes
you might extend grace.
00:33:49.06\00:33:52.26
But when they're young,
00:33:52.29\00:33:53.60
if you want them to be kids
00:33:53.63\00:33:55.26
that listen the
first time they hear you,
00:33:55.30\00:33:57.23
then you discipline them
00:33:57.27\00:33:58.50
after the first
time if they ignore you,
00:33:58.53\00:34:00.74
you get their attention,
they'll start paying attention
00:34:00.77\00:34:02.60
to your voice
00:34:02.64\00:34:04.11
if they've heard you.
00:34:04.14\00:34:06.21
And sometimes we're
in public, you know,
00:34:06.24\00:34:08.31
I never used to like
00:34:08.34\00:34:09.88
kids yelling across the store,
00:34:09.91\00:34:11.65
their children and their parents
00:34:11.68\00:34:14.12
threatening their
children and kids having,
00:34:14.15\00:34:17.19
ever seen kids having the fit.
00:34:17.22\00:34:18.65
Parents are dragging
them through the store
00:34:18.69\00:34:20.19
and they're having a meltdown.
00:34:20.22\00:34:21.16
They're rolling back
and forth in the aisles
00:34:21.19\00:34:22.89
because they're not
getting the thing they wanted,
00:34:22.92\00:34:25.03
till the parents finally give in
00:34:25.06\00:34:26.36
and you got two problems.
00:34:26.39\00:34:28.16
One, you let them
roll around in the aisle,
00:34:28.20\00:34:30.13
the other one you gave
them what they want it.
00:34:30.17\00:34:32.70
Anyone else with me out there?
00:34:32.73\00:34:36.84
So, there is a
time for discipline,
00:34:36.87\00:34:39.97
but it should
never be done in anger.
00:34:40.01\00:34:42.38
Proverbs 15:18,
00:34:42.41\00:34:43.61
"A wrathful man stirs up strife,
00:34:43.65\00:34:47.22
but he who is slow to anger
00:34:47.25\00:34:49.28
allays or smoothes contention."
00:34:49.32\00:34:52.52
If you're wrathful, it
stirs it up in your family
00:34:52.55\00:34:54.49
as well as other places.
00:34:54.52\00:34:56.36
I've noticed that
00:34:56.39\00:34:58.46
children that lose their tempers
00:34:58.49\00:35:00.63
become angry and are yelling
00:35:00.66\00:35:03.26
in school or public,
00:35:03.30\00:35:05.10
they often hear that at home.
00:35:05.13\00:35:07.54
That's the way
their parents communicate.
00:35:07.57\00:35:09.10
That's how
they've learned to do it.
00:35:09.14\00:35:12.61
Go ahead and please read for me,
00:35:12.64\00:35:14.11
Proverbs 16:32?
00:35:14.14\00:35:17.05
Proverbs 16:32,
00:35:17.08\00:35:19.05
"He who is slow to anger
is better than the mighty,
00:35:19.08\00:35:22.48
and he who rules his spirit
than he who takes a city."
00:35:22.52\00:35:27.02
When you lose your
temper, who finds it?
00:35:27.06\00:35:31.36
It's like you've
lost control of something.
00:35:31.39\00:35:33.86
Who has control
when you lose it?
00:35:33.90\00:35:36.77
People when they
lose their temper
00:35:36.80\00:35:38.23
are at least
temporarily demon possessed.
00:35:38.27\00:35:41.97
We probably all seen it.
00:35:42.00\00:35:43.84
And then afterward they say,
"I'm sorry, I lost my temper.
00:35:43.87\00:35:45.91
I wasn't myself."
Well, who were you?
00:35:45.94\00:35:48.74
Wasn't spirit lead
or was spirit lead,
00:35:48.78\00:35:50.48
but which spirit?
00:35:50.51\00:35:52.85
Right?
00:35:52.88\00:35:54.25
And so, you know,
00:35:54.28\00:35:57.72
you count to 10, do
what it takes but you don't,
00:35:57.75\00:36:00.86
people usually say
things that they regret.
00:36:00.89\00:36:03.73
They do things they regret
when they lose their temper.
00:36:03.76\00:36:06.66
It says, "He who
controls his spirit
00:36:06.70\00:36:08.50
is stronger than a
mighty man who conquers a city."
00:36:08.53\00:36:11.33
Because if you can conquer
00:36:11.37\00:36:13.57
your offended
pride and your temper,
00:36:13.60\00:36:15.90
and that's what it often is,
00:36:15.94\00:36:17.77
that you're not getting your way
00:36:17.81\00:36:19.51
or someone has
not appreciated you
00:36:19.54\00:36:21.61
and people get angry.
00:36:21.64\00:36:22.71
But some people
yell when they're angry.
00:36:22.74\00:36:24.55
Other people do
different things.
00:36:24.58\00:36:26.28
Some people get angry,
they start breaking things.
00:36:26.31\00:36:28.98
I knew this one family
that one spouse would get angry
00:36:29.02\00:36:31.69
and they
started throwing things,
00:36:31.72\00:36:33.22
many expensive
things would get broken
00:36:33.25\00:36:34.92
whenever there was a fight.
00:36:34.96\00:36:36.42
But well, then
that's the wasteful.
00:36:36.46\00:36:38.93
Others do the silent treatment.
00:36:38.96\00:36:40.70
They've lost their temper,
but now they don't say anything
00:36:40.73\00:36:43.63
and they stew.
00:36:43.67\00:36:44.70
It's like a pressure
cooker, waiting for it to go.
00:36:44.73\00:36:48.37
And they still lost their temper
00:36:48.40\00:36:51.27
because they're raging inside.
00:36:51.31\00:36:54.68
And that's not a lot better.
00:36:54.71\00:36:56.31
So God wants us
to have that control
00:36:56.34\00:36:57.85
because otherwise
00:36:57.88\00:36:58.95
what are you
teaching your children?
00:36:58.98\00:37:03.05
God is so
merciful, He's so patient,
00:37:03.08\00:37:04.62
we should have that patience.
00:37:04.65\00:37:05.65
Now is there a
time for response?
00:37:05.69\00:37:08.42
There's a time to respond,
but don't do it in anger.
00:37:08.46\00:37:11.09
Proverbs 15:27,
00:37:11.13\00:37:12.73
"He who is greedy for
gain troubles his own house,
00:37:12.76\00:37:16.46
but he who hates
bribes will live."
00:37:16.50\00:37:18.90
Let your children and
your family see integrity.
00:37:18.93\00:37:23.24
God is going to
arrange opportunities
00:37:23.27\00:37:25.94
in your life for your
kids to see you tempted
00:37:25.97\00:37:29.38
to compromise
integrity, it will go so far.
00:37:29.41\00:37:35.98
You get paid too
much at the market.
00:37:36.02\00:37:37.82
Let your kids see you.
00:37:37.85\00:37:39.89
It's a teachable moment.
00:37:39.92\00:37:41.72
Let them see you say,
"Oh, they gave me too much.
00:37:41.76\00:37:44.49
We need to go
back to the store."
00:37:44.53\00:37:46.39
They will never forget that.
00:37:46.43\00:37:48.53
And they will also never forget
00:37:48.56\00:37:49.86
if you say hey, lucky
me, they paid me too much.
00:37:49.90\00:37:52.47
They'll think it's okay
then to take ill-gotten gain.
00:37:52.50\00:37:56.20
I never forgot.
00:37:56.24\00:37:57.54
I was with my
mother at Bloomingdale's,
00:37:57.57\00:37:59.94
and she showed me how
to shoplift something.
00:38:00.04\00:38:02.68
What do think happened?
00:38:02.71\00:38:03.81
I end up
becoming their shoplifter
00:38:03.85\00:38:05.21
when I was a teenager.
00:38:05.25\00:38:08.72
Your kids, that
makes a big impression.
00:38:08.75\00:38:11.22
They ever see you
tell a little lie,
00:38:11.25\00:38:13.22
and they, you know...
00:38:13.25\00:38:14.96
My mother used to say,
00:38:14.99\00:38:16.29
I would come, she'd
take us to the theater.
00:38:16.32\00:38:18.53
It say if you're
under 12 it's one price,
00:38:18.56\00:38:20.30
if you're over 12
it's another price.
00:38:20.33\00:38:21.96
I'm 13.
00:38:22.00\00:38:23.03
She said, "Doug say
you're 11, you look young."
00:38:23.06\00:38:26.10
I thought, well, that's lying.
00:38:26.13\00:38:27.54
So what was she teaching me?
00:38:27.57\00:38:30.34
Bending the truth.
00:38:30.37\00:38:32.77
And so these little
things are so important.
00:38:32.81\00:38:36.01
Greed for gain, you
trouble your own soul.
00:38:36.04\00:38:38.05
Let them see
that you're generous.
00:38:38.08\00:38:40.42
If your kids...
00:38:40.45\00:38:41.82
Nathan and I were
driving down the street one day,
00:38:41.85\00:38:43.72
and we saw a
guy who was pulling,
00:38:43.75\00:38:45.25
the homeless man was
pulling a little chariot,
00:38:45.29\00:38:48.66
a little trailer
behind his bicycle,
00:38:48.69\00:38:50.96
and the wheel had come off
and he was trying to fix it.
00:38:50.99\00:38:54.56
And I said to Nathan,
00:38:54.56\00:38:57.20
you know, we're
around the corner.
00:38:57.23\00:38:58.63
So why don't we
go grab the toolbox,
00:38:58.67\00:39:00.10
see if we can help this guy.
00:39:00.14\00:39:01.97
And so we turned
back to the house.
00:39:02.00\00:39:03.91
We went around the
corner and we came back
00:39:03.94\00:39:06.24
and he was very helpful.
00:39:06.27\00:39:07.54
We were able to, you know,
00:39:07.58\00:39:08.71
I had some inner tube and
stuff that you can take strips,
00:39:08.74\00:39:11.31
and we patched up his
tire, it was in bad shape
00:39:11.35\00:39:13.28
and got him going
down the road again.
00:39:13.31\00:39:15.45
Gave him a few dollars
for something to eat and...
00:39:15.48\00:39:19.39
Now, Nathan can't
drive by a homeless person
00:39:19.42\00:39:21.59
without trying to
stop and help them.
00:39:21.62\00:39:24.13
He almost takes it too far.
00:39:24.16\00:39:26.70
But they'll never
forget those things.
00:39:26.73\00:39:29.53
And so let them
see that generosity.
00:39:29.56\00:39:32.57
Proverbs 29:17,
00:39:32.60\00:39:34.07
"Correct your son and
he will give you rest.
00:39:34.10\00:39:37.07
Yes, he will give
your soul delight."
00:39:37.11\00:39:39.07
There's a time for correction.
00:39:39.11\00:39:40.44
And this is under the
section correction with love.
00:39:40.48\00:39:43.31
Someone's going to read for me
Proverbs 3:12 in just a moment.
00:39:43.35\00:39:47.28
I'll read another one first.
00:39:47.32\00:39:49.12
Proverbs 10:17,
00:39:49.15\00:39:51.72
"He who keeps instruction
is in the way of life,
00:39:51.75\00:39:54.46
but he who refuses
correction goes astray."
00:39:54.49\00:39:58.13
Ever know somebody you
can't tell them anything
00:39:58.16\00:39:59.83
'cause they think they
know everything and they will,
00:39:59.86\00:40:01.30
they're too proud.
00:40:01.33\00:40:03.53
I had a friend that
he got in a pickup truck,
00:40:03.57\00:40:05.13
he had never
driven a standard before
00:40:05.17\00:40:07.74
you know where you shift.
00:40:07.77\00:40:09.27
He didn't want to admit
that he didn't know how.
00:40:09.30\00:40:12.77
And so he's going down the
road grinding the gears all up.
00:40:12.81\00:40:16.44
And I said let
me help you. No, no.
00:40:16.48\00:40:19.31
I know how to do it.
00:40:19.35\00:40:21.05
And he said something like,
00:40:21.08\00:40:22.88
you know, theory, the
conventional wisdom is,
00:40:22.92\00:40:25.55
these days the
truck actually runs better
00:40:25.59\00:40:27.26
if you never get
out of second gear.
00:40:27.29\00:40:29.32
He was too proud to admit
00:40:29.36\00:40:30.66
he didn't know how
to get into third gear
00:40:30.69\00:40:32.03
and he made up this big story.
00:40:32.06\00:40:33.53
He just, I never met
somebody who was so stubborn
00:40:36.50\00:40:38.40
to admit that he
didn't know something.
00:40:38.43\00:40:41.00
And so what's the result?
00:40:41.04\00:40:42.57
He's grinding the
gears in all the cars
00:40:42.60\00:40:44.14
because he wouldn't admit
00:40:44.17\00:40:45.51
and he wouldn't
ask for instruction,
00:40:45.54\00:40:47.01
how do you shift
and press the clutch in?
00:40:47.04\00:40:49.61
All right, go
ahead. You can read for me.
00:40:49.64\00:40:52.35
"For whom the
Lord loves He corrects,
00:40:52.38\00:40:54.82
just as a father the
son in whom he delights."
00:40:54.85\00:40:57.65
Thank you very much.
00:40:57.69\00:40:58.75
Yeah, that's Proverbs
3:12, whoever the Lord loves,
00:40:58.79\00:41:00.89
He correct.
00:41:00.92\00:41:02.49
So don't be thinking
00:41:02.52\00:41:04.83
there's something
wrong with correction.
00:41:04.86\00:41:06.03
Now Proverbs got some pretty
strong pictures of correction.
00:41:06.06\00:41:11.17
You know, it talks
about, look at Proverbs 23:13,
00:41:11.20\00:41:14.24
"Do not withhold
correction from a child,
00:41:14.27\00:41:16.54
for if you beat him
with a rod, he will not die.
00:41:16.57\00:41:19.74
You will beat him with a rod,
00:41:19.77\00:41:20.88
and deliver his soul from hell."
00:41:20.91\00:41:22.48
Now that verse
has been misapplied.
00:41:22.51\00:41:26.08
But there is a place
00:41:26.11\00:41:27.85
for what we would
call corporal punishment.
00:41:27.88\00:41:31.32
Matter of fact, I believe
the Lord has prepared a place
00:41:31.35\00:41:34.96
for that.
00:41:34.99\00:41:35.99
Now, I know that
in our culture today,
00:41:36.02\00:41:37.69
if you say
that, it's almost like
00:41:37.73\00:41:39.46
you start looking around
for Child Protective Services,
00:41:39.49\00:41:42.96
because some
people have been abusive
00:41:43.00\00:41:44.73
with their children,
everybody is so afraid,
00:41:44.77\00:41:46.84
and they think that
there's no proper place
00:41:46.87\00:41:48.77
for getting a child's attention.
00:41:48.80\00:41:52.21
They think all you
can do is send them
00:41:52.24\00:41:53.48
to the corner for quiet time.
00:41:53.51\00:41:54.98
It doesn't always work.
00:41:55.01\00:41:58.28
You know,
00:41:58.31\00:42:00.05
when our kids were little,
00:42:00.08\00:42:01.32
and we live by a
busy, notorious street.
00:42:01.35\00:42:06.09
Out on the mission,
there is a busy highway,
00:42:06.12\00:42:08.19
a lot of
drinking on the highway.
00:42:08.22\00:42:10.09
And we told them,
00:42:10.13\00:42:11.09
you're never to cross
over the irrigation ditch
00:42:11.13\00:42:13.46
and get out in the road.
00:42:13.50\00:42:14.56
And one day I caught
one of our kids out there,
00:42:14.56\00:42:16.87
had gotten a new little bike,
00:42:16.90\00:42:17.97
he learned to ride
without training wheels
00:42:18.00\00:42:20.20
and took off.
00:42:20.24\00:42:22.47
I looked out there
00:42:22.50\00:42:23.77
and he's right in the middle of
a four lane road riding around.
00:42:23.81\00:42:26.57
He's only like
four or five years old.
00:42:26.61\00:42:29.04
And I was,
00:42:29.08\00:42:30.18
my heart stopped in my chest
00:42:30.21\00:42:31.41
because he was
just kind of figuring,
00:42:31.45\00:42:33.18
it was morning, there
weren't that many cars.
00:42:33.21\00:42:34.95
And he thought,
"Well, I'll see him coming,
00:42:34.98\00:42:36.05
I'll get out of the way."
00:42:36.08\00:42:37.55
He didn't know I was watching.
00:42:37.59\00:42:40.32
I ran out there and
got him, got his bike.
00:42:40.36\00:42:42.39
I threw his bike
as far as I could.
00:42:42.42\00:42:44.53
And he was scared.
00:42:44.56\00:42:45.73
And I went back in the
house and knelt down and said,
00:42:45.76\00:42:48.33
Daniel, let's
thank the Lord together
00:42:48.36\00:42:50.17
that you're alive
where I can spank you.
00:42:50.20\00:42:52.13
He never did it again.
00:42:55.80\00:42:58.01
There is a time for that.
00:42:58.04\00:43:00.28
Now when it says a rod,
00:43:00.31\00:43:01.74
it's not talking
about a baseball bat.
00:43:01.78\00:43:04.28
They had a switch,
00:43:04.31\00:43:05.58
that word doesn't
translate very well.
00:43:05.61\00:43:08.68
In America,
00:43:08.72\00:43:09.92
it was very common for
kids to go pick a willow switch
00:43:09.95\00:43:12.99
for their parents.
00:43:13.02\00:43:14.96
And any of you ever read
the story of HMS Richard Sr.,
00:43:14.99\00:43:20.30
where he tells about, he
was being very difficult.
00:43:20.33\00:43:25.10
And his dad was
out and his mother
00:43:25.13\00:43:26.84
had the
responsibility of discipline.
00:43:26.87\00:43:29.44
And she had spanked
him with a switch before
00:43:29.47\00:43:31.61
and it wasn't better.
00:43:31.64\00:43:32.64
So she told him to
go pick out a switch.
00:43:32.67\00:43:35.31
And he said...
00:43:35.34\00:43:37.68
He went got one, she
says, it's s not big enough.
00:43:37.71\00:43:40.38
So I went out, it was
a little, little thing,
00:43:40.42\00:43:41.88
she said, "Get a
bigger one, get a bigger one."
00:43:41.92\00:43:43.25
He went two or three
times and came with a big one.
00:43:43.28\00:43:44.95
And she bent her back for him.
00:43:44.99\00:43:47.02
She said I want you to beat me,
00:43:47.06\00:43:48.59
because I have failed as
your mother to teach you.
00:43:48.62\00:43:51.59
I can't do that mother.
00:43:51.63\00:43:52.66
She says, "No, I
insist you beat me."
00:43:52.69\00:43:54.50
And he just broke
down, he never did.
00:43:54.56\00:43:56.46
But he changed, he said,
00:43:56.50\00:43:58.27
that he never
disobeyed his mother,
00:43:58.30\00:44:00.87
got the idea of how it
hurt her for him to disobey.
00:44:00.90\00:44:06.04
We need to teach the
children that it hurts Jesus
00:44:06.07\00:44:09.81
when we disobey.
00:44:09.84\00:44:11.61
Then when they see Him
on the cross, it's our sins.
00:44:11.65\00:44:14.38
And if they love the Lord,
00:44:14.42\00:44:15.48
they're not going
to want to grieve Him.
00:44:15.52\00:44:16.92
So that's part of good
parenting to get that through.
00:44:16.95\00:44:20.09
The rod was not an
instrument to be dreaded.
00:44:20.12\00:44:24.16
How many know Psalm 23?
00:44:24.19\00:44:26.39
"Yea, though I
walk through the valley
00:44:26.43\00:44:28.00
of the shadow of death,
00:44:28.03\00:44:29.06
I will fear no
evil, for You are with me,
00:44:29.10\00:44:30.93
Your rod and Your
staff, they comfort me."
00:44:30.97\00:44:33.84
And the rod was there
also to protect the sheep,
00:44:33.87\00:44:36.67
as well as the
occasional discipline.
00:44:36.71\00:44:39.87
And Hebrews 12:9, "Furthermore,
00:44:39.91\00:44:42.98
we have had human
fathers who corrected us,
00:44:43.01\00:44:45.35
and we paid them respect.
00:44:45.38\00:44:47.08
Shall we not much more
readily be in subjection
00:44:47.12\00:44:49.58
to the Father of
spirits and live?
00:44:49.62\00:44:51.92
For they are
earthly fathers, indeed,
00:44:51.95\00:44:53.72
for a few days chastened
us as seemed best to them,
00:44:53.76\00:44:56.49
but He, our Heavenly
Father, for our profit,
00:44:56.52\00:44:59.16
that we might be
partakers of His Holiness."
00:44:59.19\00:45:01.20
God chastens us.
00:45:01.23\00:45:03.00
We go through
trials and discipline,
00:45:03.03\00:45:04.87
because He loves us.
00:45:04.90\00:45:06.37
He's trying to
save us for eternity.
00:45:06.40\00:45:07.84
So someone once said,
00:45:07.87\00:45:10.41
draw near the
one who holds the rod
00:45:10.44\00:45:13.21
and it will lessen the blow.
00:45:13.24\00:45:15.98
You know that.
00:45:16.01\00:45:17.48
I remember, a
preacher was saying
00:45:17.51\00:45:19.21
that his mother would get
upset and she get a switch,
00:45:19.25\00:45:22.15
and she'd start to swat him.
00:45:22.18\00:45:23.79
He said, I found if I
got in close and hugged her,
00:45:23.82\00:45:25.52
it didn't hurt me as much.
00:45:25.55\00:45:27.56
It says you get
out further away,
00:45:27.59\00:45:28.86
the centrifugal
force, it hurts a lot more,
00:45:28.89\00:45:31.06
so get in close.
00:45:31.09\00:45:34.00
Draw near the one
00:45:34.03\00:45:35.60
who holds the rod and
it will lessen the blow.
00:45:35.63\00:45:38.73
Amen?
00:45:38.77\00:45:41.27
And what's one of the most
important things for fathers?
00:45:41.30\00:45:44.54
Teach the Word in your family.
00:45:44.57\00:45:47.34
Deuteronomy 11:18,
00:45:47.38\00:45:49.18
"Therefore bind up
these words of mine
00:45:49.21\00:45:51.55
in your heart and in your soul,
00:45:51.58\00:45:53.08
bind them as a
sign on your hand,
00:45:53.11\00:45:55.78
they will be as
frontlets between your eyes.
00:45:55.82\00:45:57.89
You shall teach
them to your children
00:45:57.92\00:45:59.55
speaking of them,
00:45:59.59\00:46:00.96
when you sit in your
house, when you walk by the way,
00:46:00.99\00:46:04.09
when you lie
down, when you rise up,"
00:46:04.13\00:46:05.69
look for
opportunities in everyday life,
00:46:05.73\00:46:08.50
to be talking
about the Word of God
00:46:08.53\00:46:10.87
and bring it and apply
it, bring it into application.
00:46:10.90\00:46:14.24
"You'll write it on
the doorpost of your house
00:46:14.27\00:46:16.40
and on your gates,
00:46:16.44\00:46:18.61
that your days and
the days of your children
00:46:18.64\00:46:20.98
may be multiplied in the land
00:46:21.01\00:46:23.35
which the Lord swore to
your fathers to give them,
00:46:23.38\00:46:25.81
like the days of the
heavens above the earth."
00:46:25.85\00:46:28.62
He's talking about eternal life
00:46:28.65\00:46:30.22
comes from
teaching the Word of God
00:46:30.25\00:46:32.55
to your family.
00:46:32.59\00:46:34.29
Now, I know I
don't have much time left
00:46:34.32\00:46:36.29
but this is
probably a good thing
00:46:36.32\00:46:37.69
because now he talks about
life is better on a rooftop.
00:46:37.73\00:46:40.73
You know what
these verses are about?
00:46:40.76\00:46:43.13
Dwelling with a
contentious spouse.
00:46:43.16\00:46:46.70
Proverbs 21:9,
00:46:46.74\00:46:48.77
"Better to dwell in
a corner of a housetop,
00:46:48.80\00:46:50.94
than in a house with
a contentious woman."
00:46:50.97\00:46:54.14
Solomon saying
in tongue-in-cheek,
00:46:54.18\00:46:55.91
you're better off
living in an attic
00:46:55.94\00:46:58.51
by yourself.
00:46:58.55\00:47:00.12
I think in other
places, yeah, he does,
00:47:00.15\00:47:01.65
Proverbs 27:15,
00:47:01.68\00:47:03.45
"A continual
dripping on a very rainy day
00:47:03.49\00:47:05.75
and a
contentious woman are alike,
00:47:05.79\00:47:08.32
whoever restrains
her restrains the wind,
00:47:08.36\00:47:11.76
and grasps the oil
with his right hand."
00:47:11.79\00:47:14.23
We had a little inside joke.
00:47:18.17\00:47:20.90
In one of the
churches I pastored,
00:47:20.94\00:47:22.97
not this one, don't worry.
00:47:23.00\00:47:25.17
We had one member that
would corner us every day,
00:47:25.21\00:47:28.28
and talk to us
00:47:28.31\00:47:29.98
and would tell us
about the problems.
00:47:30.01\00:47:32.28
We try to solve our problems
and it never got any better.
00:47:32.31\00:47:34.65
This went on for years.
00:47:34.68\00:47:36.65
And we said it's
like shoveling air.
00:47:36.69\00:47:40.89
You just don't get anywhere.
00:47:40.92\00:47:42.72
You don't know what's happening.
00:47:42.76\00:47:46.16
Now, that can be a spouse,
00:47:46.19\00:47:47.40
it could be man,
it could be a woman.
00:47:47.40\00:47:49.96
But Proverbs,
Solomon had how many wives?
00:47:50.00\00:47:55.17
Too many? That's
all you need to know.
00:47:55.20\00:47:57.64
I think it was 300
concubines and 700 wives.
00:47:57.67\00:48:02.58
And he said, "Better
to dwell in the wilderness
00:48:02.61\00:48:04.48
than with a
contentious and an angry woman.
00:48:04.51\00:48:07.95
Better to be a hermit."
00:48:07.98\00:48:10.22
Now, can you find
examples in the Bible of someone
00:48:10.25\00:48:12.09
that experienced that?
00:48:12.12\00:48:15.09
How about Samson?
00:48:15.12\00:48:17.76
How was it that his
wife got the riddle from him?
00:48:17.79\00:48:20.73
Judges 14:17,
00:48:20.76\00:48:22.16
"Now she wept on
the seven days..."
00:48:22.20\00:48:24.50
It's supposed to
be a wedding feast.
00:48:24.53\00:48:25.83
"She wept on him the seven
days while their feast lasted.
00:48:25.87\00:48:28.90
And it happened on the
seventh day he told her,
00:48:28.94\00:48:30.84
because she
pressed him so much."
00:48:30.87\00:48:33.94
And then she
betrayed his secret.
00:48:33.98\00:48:36.04
How did Delilah get
the secret from Samson?
00:48:36.08\00:48:38.98
"And it came to
pass he pestered him
00:48:39.01\00:48:41.52
daily with her
words and pressed him
00:48:41.55\00:48:44.89
so that his soul
was vexed to death."
00:48:44.92\00:48:47.92
Now again, some of you
may be married to a man
00:48:51.49\00:48:54.73
that nags,
00:48:54.73\00:48:56.63
and Bible tells us it
can happen with a woman.
00:48:56.67\00:49:02.00
Don't harangue
and nag your spouse.
00:49:02.04\00:49:06.57
Once they know what it
is, if they made a mistake,
00:49:06.61\00:49:09.08
don't continually remind them.
00:49:09.11\00:49:11.25
Can I hear an amen?
00:49:11.28\00:49:12.31
Now then it goes into,
00:49:15.58\00:49:16.82
it closes out
with the ideal wife.
00:49:16.85\00:49:20.49
And this is always
intimidating for women
00:49:20.52\00:49:22.32
to hear Solomon talk
about the perfect wife.
00:49:22.36\00:49:25.99
It's Proverbs 31:10,
00:49:26.03\00:49:27.76
"Who can find a virtuous wife?
00:49:27.83\00:49:29.20
For her worth is
far above rubies.
00:49:29.23\00:49:31.37
The heart of her husband
does safely trusts in her,
00:49:31.40\00:49:34.34
he will have lack no gain.
00:49:34.37\00:49:35.84
She does him good
00:49:35.87\00:49:36.87
and not evil all
the days of her life.
00:49:36.91\00:49:39.61
She seeks wool and flax,
00:49:39.64\00:49:41.11
and willingly
works with her hands.
00:49:41.14\00:49:43.24
She is like the merchant ships,
she brings her food from afar.
00:49:43.28\00:49:46.72
She rises while
it's yet night..."
00:49:46.75\00:49:50.05
Karen says,
"Don't quote that to me."
00:49:50.09\00:49:51.75
"She rises while it's yet night
00:49:51.79\00:49:53.39
and provides food
for her household,
00:49:53.42\00:49:55.82
and a portion
for her maidservants.
00:49:55.86\00:49:57.79
She considers a
field and she buys it..."
00:49:57.83\00:49:59.63
She is a businesswoman.
00:49:59.66\00:50:01.00
"From her profits she
gains and plants a vineyard.
00:50:01.03\00:50:04.50
She girds herself with strength,
00:50:04.53\00:50:06.03
and strengthens her arms.
00:50:06.07\00:50:07.80
She perceives that
her merchandise is good,
00:50:07.84\00:50:10.67
and her lamp does
not go out by night.
00:50:10.71\00:50:12.51
She stretches out
her hand to the distaff
00:50:12.54\00:50:14.38
and her hand to the spindle,
00:50:14.41\00:50:15.41
she weaves the
clothing for children,
00:50:15.44\00:50:17.58
the clothes, the
scarlet, it goes on and on.
00:50:17.61\00:50:19.08
You read the
rest of the chapter,
00:50:19.11\00:50:20.62
it talks about the perfect wife.
00:50:20.65\00:50:22.15
First and foremost,
00:50:22.18\00:50:23.18
Proverbs 31 is talking
about the bride of Christ.
00:50:23.22\00:50:26.92
You look at the
analogies and the metaphors
00:50:26.96\00:50:29.56
that are being used are
metaphors for salvation.
00:50:29.59\00:50:33.36
And so, but that doesn't mean
00:50:33.40\00:50:36.40
this is not something
that you would strive for.
00:50:36.43\00:50:38.47
Just I'll close
with this, just this.
00:50:38.50\00:50:41.10
A little more than a week ago,
00:50:41.14\00:50:42.74
I went and met a
cousin that I knew about
00:50:42.77\00:50:46.11
but I'd never met we met online,
00:50:46.14\00:50:48.01
he's, we call him Uncle Bill.
00:50:48.04\00:50:49.34
But he's actually a cousin,
for he is my father's cousin.
00:50:49.38\00:50:54.52
And 90 years old,
00:50:54.55\00:50:56.65
lives in Southern
California, went to see him
00:50:56.69\00:50:58.42
and I told Karen,
I said, "You know,
00:50:58.45\00:51:00.39
I get email from
every now and then,
00:51:00.42\00:51:02.66
he's still very lucid
00:51:02.69\00:51:04.03
and sends me funny
things in the email
00:51:04.06\00:51:07.23
and, interesting guy,
00:51:07.23\00:51:09.83
he is the world's
foremost expert on flashlights.
00:51:09.86\00:51:13.50
He wrote an
encyclopedia of flashlights,
00:51:13.54\00:51:16.24
who would have thunk, right?
00:51:16.27\00:51:18.17
And he's got an incredible
collection of flashlights,
00:51:18.21\00:51:20.01
all very neat
all around the house.
00:51:20.04\00:51:22.54
But his wife has passed away.
00:51:22.58\00:51:24.21
She died a couple of years ago.
00:51:24.25\00:51:26.58
And he says,
00:51:26.61\00:51:28.42
"I was married to
an absolute angel."
00:51:28.45\00:51:30.12
I told Karen, he says,
"His wife was an angel.
00:51:30.15\00:51:32.35
She was the most
perfect human who ever lived."
00:51:32.39\00:51:34.22
He told me that.
00:51:34.26\00:51:35.89
I thought, wow,
00:51:35.92\00:51:36.93
he married the
Proverbs 31 woman.
00:51:36.96\00:51:40.10
And she thought I was kidding.
00:51:40.13\00:51:41.13
But then we went
to visit and he just,
00:51:41.16\00:51:43.50
he had her music
playing in the background
00:51:43.53\00:51:45.83
that she had composed,
00:51:45.87\00:51:47.37
had her pictures everywhere
00:51:47.40\00:51:49.50
and had pictures
00:51:49.54\00:51:51.61
and she played organ,
he doesn't play anything.
00:51:51.64\00:51:54.71
He still got her three
organs and a piano in the house,
00:51:54.74\00:51:57.21
two organs and a piano.
00:51:57.25\00:51:58.68
And he just, he
said, I'm not sad,
00:51:58.71\00:52:00.58
people think I'm sad.
00:52:00.62\00:52:01.55
He said, "I'm the
luckiest man in the world.
00:52:01.58\00:52:02.92
I was married to the
most perfect human being
00:52:02.95\00:52:04.59
that ever lived.
00:52:04.62\00:52:05.62
She was an angel."
00:52:05.65\00:52:07.56
I thought wow,
00:52:07.59\00:52:09.19
I doubt she was perfect,
but he looked at her that way.
00:52:09.22\00:52:11.93
Wouldn't it be great
00:52:11.96\00:52:12.96
if every buddy could tell others
00:52:12.99\00:52:16.16
about their spouse like that
00:52:16.20\00:52:18.80
instead of
throwing them under the bus?
00:52:18.83\00:52:20.97
Wouldn't that be wonderful?
00:52:21.00\00:52:22.70
Some good lessons in
Proverbs. We are out of time.
00:52:22.74\00:52:24.64
I want to remind
you, don't cut me off yet
00:52:24.67\00:52:27.08
until I get to remind
you about our gift book.
00:52:27.11\00:52:29.61
If you've not read
this you really should,
00:52:29.64\00:52:31.08
it's a classic,
00:52:31.11\00:52:32.21
"Is It Possible To Live
Without Sinning" by Joe Crews.
00:52:32.25\00:52:34.55
It's a good book.
00:52:34.58\00:52:35.92
It has a good biblical,
00:52:35.95\00:52:37.89
scripturally supported
base for that principle.
00:52:37.92\00:52:41.52
And you'll be
encouraged by what you read.
00:52:41.56\00:52:43.96
If you want to text
it, so you can download it,
00:52:43.99\00:52:46.06
text SH040 to this number
00:52:46.09\00:52:51.90
you can call,
00:52:51.93\00:52:52.93
get it for free
in North America,
00:52:52.97\00:52:54.50
866-788-3966.
00:52:54.54\00:52:57.77
Make sure and ask
for offer number 187,
00:52:57.81\00:53:00.54
and we'll send it to you.
00:53:00.58\00:53:01.64
Thank you,
friends, for joining us,
00:53:01.68\00:53:02.84
God willing, we will
do this again next week.
00:53:02.88\00:53:06.58
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00:53:19.03\00:53:23.03
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00:54:06.17\00:54:08.71
My parents got divorced
when I was three or four,
00:54:15.78\00:54:17.85
and then, I was basically
unchurched most of my life.
00:54:17.89\00:54:21.36
I had a
girlfriend in high school
00:54:21.39\00:54:22.46
telling me that she
had to break up with me
00:54:22.49\00:54:23.93
because I wasn't a Christian.
00:54:23.96\00:54:25.09
I thought that's
weird, I believe in God,
00:54:25.13\00:54:26.46
why would she say that?
00:54:26.49\00:54:27.76
Not realizing I was
living a horrible life
00:54:27.83\00:54:29.30
with foul language,
was mean, and other stuff.
00:54:29.33\00:54:32.27
And that kind of challenged
me initially, and then my dad,
00:54:32.30\00:54:36.34
9/11 woke him up.
00:54:36.37\00:54:37.84
He wasn't ready to meet his Lord
00:54:37.87\00:54:39.27
though he was a
man that I valued
00:54:39.31\00:54:41.01
and knew he loved
me, didn't doubt that.
00:54:41.04\00:54:43.45
But he just knew he needed more.
00:54:43.48\00:54:44.68
So he started
watching TV ministries first.
00:54:44.71\00:54:47.88
Baptist preachers, and others,
00:54:47.92\00:54:49.32
and he was kind of intrigued
by what he was learning,
00:54:49.35\00:54:53.12
and so when he turned me
on to this television station,
00:54:53.15\00:54:55.96
first thing that I got access to
00:54:55.99\00:54:58.46
was Doug Batchelor's
Most Amazing Prophecies series
00:54:58.49\00:55:00.96
that he did in
Berrien Springs, Michigan.
00:55:00.96\00:55:03.16
And I remember when
I first watched this,
00:55:03.20\00:55:04.87
my background was
Baptistish of sorts,
00:55:04.90\00:55:08.04
but I remember when I
first watched the series,
00:55:08.07\00:55:11.04
I remember thinking
I've never heard that before
00:55:11.07\00:55:12.91
about the State of the
Dead, or about the Sabbath,
00:55:12.94\00:55:15.41
or the Commandments, or
the Rapture, other things.
00:55:15.44\00:55:18.15
I remember thinking to myself,
I've never heard that before,
00:55:18.18\00:55:20.28
but that's what the text
says, and that kept happening,
00:55:20.32\00:55:23.75
and I had this experience
of just wondering like,
00:55:23.79\00:55:26.25
"Well, what else
have I believed that isn't
00:55:26.29\00:55:28.36
as it is, you know?"
00:55:28.39\00:55:29.46
And the more I watched,
the more helpful it became.
00:55:29.49\00:55:32.43
But again,
00:55:32.46\00:55:33.60
he kind of took a different
perspective on the messages.
00:55:33.63\00:55:35.36
It was fresh to
me, but I just...
00:55:35.40\00:55:37.73
These things I had
never heard before,
00:55:37.77\00:55:39.83
and I just realized like,
00:55:39.87\00:55:42.14
"There's so much
stuff in the Bible
00:55:42.17\00:55:43.91
that no one's talking about
and that people need to know."
00:55:43.94\00:55:47.24
And so I ended up in
this awkward situation
00:55:47.28\00:55:49.34
that some of my
friends who didn't believe
00:55:49.38\00:55:51.61
what I was coming to believe,
00:55:51.65\00:55:53.28
I didn't know how to
communicate with them,
00:55:53.31\00:55:55.12
and so one of the
things that helped me initially
00:55:55.15\00:55:57.79
was the
SabbathTruth.com website,
00:55:57.82\00:56:00.82
the truth about Hell.com,
and the truth about death.
00:56:00.86\00:56:03.83
And some of
those resource websites
00:56:03.86\00:56:05.66
that Amazing
Facts had put together,
00:56:05.69\00:56:07.50
they were just
full of resources.
00:56:07.56\00:56:09.70
If I needed an
answer to something
00:56:09.73\00:56:11.17
that someone brought up,
00:56:11.20\00:56:12.63
there would be a 95% chance
00:56:12.67\00:56:15.24
that Amazing Facts would
have something that I could use.
00:56:15.27\00:56:17.67
It makes witnessing
even easier in that sense.
00:56:17.71\00:56:20.44
The Amazing Facts
Prophecy Study Bible
00:56:20.48\00:56:22.24
was my first
real Bible that I had
00:56:22.28\00:56:25.48
of a more trusted translation.
00:56:25.51\00:56:27.18
The Bible study
guides were on the back of it
00:56:27.22\00:56:29.08
and lot of other
resources that were helpful.
00:56:29.12\00:56:31.32
If you can hand
a book to somebody
00:56:31.35\00:56:33.36
and you can pick up a
phone and call Amazing Facts,
00:56:33.39\00:56:35.12
you have everything you need.
00:56:35.16\00:56:36.39
And so I was just printing off
stuff and handing it to people,
00:56:36.42\00:56:38.56
you know, like, here's
what I'm coming to realize,
00:56:38.59\00:56:40.73
this is true, it's in the Bible.
00:56:40.76\00:56:42.63
And it was a
huge blessing to me,
00:56:42.66\00:56:45.00
and a real help
just to kind of help me
00:56:45.03\00:56:47.27
to better understand
what the message was,
00:56:47.30\00:56:50.21
and understand it for myself,
00:56:50.24\00:56:51.34
and have resources
00:56:51.37\00:56:52.41
to put in the hands
of the other people,
00:56:52.44\00:56:53.44
it was invaluable.
00:56:53.48\00:56:54.71
Some time went by, I eventually
went to school of evangelism,
00:56:54.74\00:56:57.75
and was baptized.
00:56:57.78\00:56:58.91
And then I had
this amazing opportunity
00:56:58.95\00:57:00.85
that after being in the ministry
00:57:00.88\00:57:02.45
for about 5 or 6 years,
00:57:02.48\00:57:04.05
Doug Batchelor was
going to be the main speaker
00:57:04.09\00:57:05.95
at youth events,
00:57:05.99\00:57:07.02
and I was actually
going to be doing a similar
00:57:07.06\00:57:08.76
at this youth event.
00:57:08.79\00:57:10.09
And it was just this amazing
kind of full circle experience
00:57:10.13\00:57:12.53
that the first person
that I came in contact
00:57:12.56\00:57:14.73
within Adventism,
00:57:14.73\00:57:16.06
to hear the message
to have it make sense,
00:57:16.10\00:57:17.63
to be able to do
ministry together with him
00:57:17.67\00:57:20.30
in whatever role possible
just meant the world to me,
00:57:20.34\00:57:23.14
and to be able
to tell him my story
00:57:23.17\00:57:24.57
and tell him thank
you was invaluable.
00:57:24.61\00:57:26.91
And so God just
gave me a precious gift
00:57:26.94\00:57:30.08
and afforded an opportunity
and I'll never forget that.
00:57:30.11\00:57:32.71
My name is Dee.
00:57:32.75\00:57:34.08
Thank you for changing my life.
00:57:34.12\00:57:35.58
Let's face it,
00:57:42.16\00:57:43.22
it's not always easy
00:57:43.26\00:57:44.36
to understand everything
you read in the Bible.
00:57:44.39\00:57:46.96
With over 700,000
words contained in 66 books,
00:57:47.00\00:57:50.70
the Bible can
generate a lot of questions.
00:57:50.73\00:57:53.30
To get biblical
straightforward answers,
00:57:53.34\00:57:55.64
call into Bible Answers Live,
00:57:55.67\00:57:57.47
a live nationwide
call-in radio program
00:57:57.51\00:58:00.21
where you can talk
to Pastor Doug Batchelor
00:58:00.24\00:58:02.54
and ask him your most
difficult Bible questions.
00:58:02.58\00:58:05.18
For times and
stations in your area
00:58:05.21\00:58:07.35
or to listen to answers online,
visit bal.amazingfacts.org.
00:58:07.38\00:58:12.69