I don't understand.
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Why did this
have to happen to me?
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I feel like I just
can't make sense of things.
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I need answers.
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Where is God?
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What do you do when Christianity
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seems to fail you?
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You've done what
everyone says to do,
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but it just doesn't
seem to be working for you.
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Welcome to Raw
Questions Relevant Answers,
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a program where we deal
with questions just like that
00:00:31.53\00:00:33.86
for people just
like us, young people.
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My co-hosts today
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are Michelle
Doucoumes and Mark Paden.
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And we're going to be addressing
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two raw questions today.
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I hope you're ready for these.
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First one is from
a 17-year-old female
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from the East Coast.
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She says, "If I can't enjoy
Christianity here on earth,
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where I should need it the most,
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how could I live in
heaven for eternity?
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It makes me just want to have
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as much fun as
possible till I die,
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and then burn it off in hell.
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Christianity is just a
set of do's and don'ts."
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Heavy stuff. What do
you think about that?
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You know, the first thing
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that I want to say
to that is just that,
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you know, this
person isn't alone,
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like if you are
wrestling with this,
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you're not bad.
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You're not damaged
goods because of this.
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You're not cast off from God.
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But the first
thing by way of an answer
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that I just want
to bring up to this
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is acknowledging the fact
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that the premise of the question
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at the beginning does
have some truth to it,
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you know?
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If we don't love Christianity,
if we don't love God,
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actually I should say,
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because sometimes Christianity
can't be very Christ, right?
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But if we don't love the things
of God here on this earth,
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there's a lot of truth that
we won't be happy in heaven.
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But where I think the question
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needs to go a little
bit of a different direction
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is that it's
premised on this assumption
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that Christianity is
just a bunch of painful,
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monotonous stop doing
this, start doing this,
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stop doing this,
start doing this.
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The reality of
religion that the Bible paints
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is much different,
much more beautiful.
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Yes.
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At the right hand of God
are pleasures forevermore,
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you know.
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There's all kinds
of verses in the Bible
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that paint the
true joyous experience
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of the Christian.
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And this is what I think
we have to really recognize,
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first of all, is
that true religion
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is actually really beautiful.
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I want to say a
couple more things,
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but I want to
let you answer too.
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Well, yeah, I mean,
I think of John 10:10
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where Jesus says,
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"I have come that
they may have life
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and have it more
abundantly," you know.
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And John 15:11,
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"These things I
have spoken to you
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that My joy may remain in you
and that your joy may be full."
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However,
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I relate to this
person's struggle.
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I remember a time in my
life where I decided that
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if this was what
there was to Christianity,
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then it wasn't working for me.
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I remember that, and
I remember realizing,
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well, I feel like
life in the world,
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I don't think
that's a good idea either.
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And I knew enough
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in my Christian
upbringing to know that,
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but yet it's that
nothing was working.
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And it was a really
disconcerting thing.
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And the Lord used that time
in my life to actually show me
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that I didn't
really understand my faith.
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To be honest, I had
heard a lot about Christianity,
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my whole life, I
knew a lot about God,
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but I didn't really know God.
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And it drove me to a
point where I really had to say,
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"Well, God, if
this is going to work,
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then You need to show
me, show Yourself to me."
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And I started searching in
God's Word about these things.
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I genuinely started studying
about the life of Christ
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and in devotional
book, Desire of Ages,
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and different things and
really asking tough questions,
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"God, who are You?
And what does this mean?"
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And I can't
explain a magic formula
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that fixed it for this person
asking the question or for me,
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but I can say
that God came through.
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Amen.
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And I do believe
that God comes through
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when we seek Him.
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There is more to Christianity
that there is to find
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and God wants us to find.
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We're told that, "No good thing
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does He withhold from
those who walk uprightly."
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God wants good
things for His people.
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You know, when I
first became a Christian,
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I'm kind of
ashamed to say this now,
00:04:16.69\00:04:18.02
but I literally
was afraid of heaven.
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Wow.
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I was afraid of it
because in my mind,
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I thought that...
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The immediate thought in my mind
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was I'm coming to
realize how God feels about me,
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but heaven, it just
felt like such a long time,
00:04:27.43\00:04:29.63
like what am I
going to do there.
00:04:29.66\00:04:31.63
And it was genuine fear,
like I'm not messing around.
00:04:31.67\00:04:34.27
I was actually afraid
because I just thought,
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"I'm going to be there forever,
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and I don't know
if I want to be."
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And what changed
everything for me
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was whenever I fell
head over heels in love
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with a man named Jesus,
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and then all these conversations
00:04:47.92\00:04:49.25
you hear in church about
what heaven's going to look like
00:04:49.28\00:04:51.12
and what my
mansion is going to be
00:04:51.15\00:04:52.65
and what the streets look like.
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I don't care
whether I'm going to have,
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you know, this or that,
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or, you know, if
I'm going to see this
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or see that in there,
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none of those
things matter to me anymore
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because the only
thing that makes heaven
00:05:02.80\00:05:04.40
heaven to me
00:05:04.43\00:05:05.77
is the presence of Jesus
and God the Father evermore.
00:05:05.80\00:05:08.04
I never have to wonder
if I'm good enough for Him.
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I never have to wonder,
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you know, if I
have to leave Him.
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I can just bow down and
weep at the feet of Jesus.
00:05:13.14\00:05:15.28
I can wrap my
arms around His legs,
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and I never have to let go.
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And that's what
makes heaven heaven to me.
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And I think that's what
00:05:21.62\00:05:22.95
we're carrying
with us into heaven
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is a genuine love
for fellowship with Him.
00:05:25.05\00:05:27.72
Jesus says in John 17:3,
00:05:27.76\00:05:29.22
"That this is eternal
life that they may know You,
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the only true
God and Jesus Christ,
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whom You have sent."
00:05:33.73\00:05:35.06
And this is a sense of intimacy
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not just an
intellectual venture.
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And if we know them here,
00:05:38.60\00:05:40.64
we will want to
be with them there.
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And that's what God wants for us
00:05:42.44\00:05:44.04
is to know him as He truly is
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and to enjoy Him here
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and for that to
carry over into eternity.
00:05:47.68\00:05:49.91
You know, kind of the picture
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that you're
painting is this picture
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where we have to fall in love
with the beauty of who God is.
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We have to know...
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We have to have this
change of heart in which,
00:05:59.59\00:06:02.46
you know, we'll
love the things of God.
00:06:02.49\00:06:04.16
And once we
have that experience,
00:06:04.19\00:06:05.79
then the things of heaven
will become beautiful to us.
00:06:05.83\00:06:09.40
There's this
principle in Romans 8:7
00:06:09.43\00:06:12.23
that I think has a lot
of significance in this,
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"Because the
carnal or natural mind
00:06:16.60\00:06:19.14
is enmity against God,
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for it is not
subject to the law of God
00:06:21.48\00:06:24.05
neither indeed can be."
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Here's the basic human problem,
00:06:25.91\00:06:27.38
and let me parse through
this old English for a second.
00:06:27.42\00:06:31.19
Basically, if our
minds are still unrenewed,
00:06:31.22\00:06:35.36
if we still are in this
state of unconversion in heart
00:06:35.39\00:06:38.89
where we don't
love the things of God
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and where we love the world,
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we can't really
love the law of God.
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If we're in...
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The truth of redemption is that
we are naturally very sinful.
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And the only way to
truly love the things of God
00:06:51.11\00:06:54.74
is for God to go on this process
00:06:54.78\00:06:56.31
where He takes out
our messed up stony heart
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and replace it with a heart
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that is fragrant and
beautiful and whole in God.
00:07:01.68\00:07:06.69
And that it's a new heart.
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This process is
described in Ezekiel 36.
00:07:08.09\00:07:10.73
And I believe that's
when Christianity becomes fun
00:07:10.76\00:07:13.56
And I know sometimes
00:07:13.60\00:07:14.93
they don't think of
Christianity as fun,
00:07:14.96\00:07:17.20
but I believe it should be.
00:07:17.23\00:07:18.57
Part of what makes
Christianity so hard sometimes
00:07:18.60\00:07:20.84
is where we've got this
part of us that wants God
00:07:20.87\00:07:24.17
and we've got this
part of us that doesn't,
00:07:24.21\00:07:25.67
and we're warring with it.
00:07:25.71\00:07:27.48
But God wants to
bring us to a point
00:07:27.51\00:07:29.08
where we just
give ourselves to Him.
00:07:29.11\00:07:31.75
And we start to realize
00:07:31.78\00:07:33.45
that He's going to
make our lives better,
00:07:33.48\00:07:36.32
that
Christianity is not just like
00:07:36.35\00:07:38.35
a divine life insurance policy,
00:07:38.39\00:07:41.16
and I've heard
it said like that,
00:07:41.19\00:07:42.52
you know, "Do the right thing
00:07:42.56\00:07:43.89
because you don't
want to go to hell.
00:07:43.93\00:07:45.53
You'd be better to go to heaven
00:07:45.56\00:07:47.40
even if it's just gold streets."
00:07:47.43\00:07:49.60
But it's more than that.
00:07:49.63\00:07:52.03
It's life now,
00:07:52.07\00:07:53.77
and that would be
the encouragement I have
00:07:53.80\00:07:56.24
for who is asking this is
Christianity can be better.
00:07:56.27\00:07:59.47
God wants it to be better.
00:07:59.51\00:08:01.34
And that's the plan. Yeah.
00:08:01.38\00:08:02.98
We're told that, "Great
peace have that love their law."
00:08:03.01\00:08:05.11
We need to jump into
our second question here
00:08:05.15\00:08:08.55
because it's another heavy one.
00:08:08.58\00:08:09.95
"They say my dad..."
00:08:09.98\00:08:11.32
This is from a female who's
17, also from the East Coast.
00:08:11.35\00:08:14.99
"My dad is a pastor,
and because he's so busy
00:08:15.02\00:08:17.33
I just feel like
I'm a burden to him.
00:08:17.36\00:08:19.23
He comes home
tired and treats me
00:08:19.26\00:08:20.80
like I get on his nerves.
00:08:20.83\00:08:22.23
I've had
battles with depression.
00:08:22.26\00:08:23.67
And I feel like my
mental health struggles
00:08:23.70\00:08:25.07
are making his life worse.
00:08:25.10\00:08:26.84
When I do things that are wrong,
00:08:26.87\00:08:28.20
he treats me like
he's disappointed in me.
00:08:28.24\00:08:29.60
And I don't want that.
00:08:29.64\00:08:30.97
I feel like my dad
stress is my fault,
00:08:31.01\00:08:33.14
and I'm such a failure."
00:08:33.17\00:08:35.21
Wow.
00:08:35.24\00:08:36.58
I wanted to kind of defer
to you first now because...
00:08:36.61\00:08:39.51
Not because you
had the same experience
00:08:39.55\00:08:40.88
but because you understand
the pressure that comes with it,
00:08:40.92\00:08:42.52
you yourself are a pastor's kid.
00:08:42.55\00:08:44.42
It is true. I will admit it.
00:08:44.45\00:08:46.59
I'm a PK, pastor's kid.
00:08:46.62\00:08:48.72
And people believe
different things about that.
00:08:48.76\00:08:50.63
It seems they believe
you're either really good
00:08:50.66\00:08:52.29
or really bad for that.
00:08:52.33\00:08:54.80
But I will say something,
00:08:54.83\00:08:56.16
I relate to the
struggle of feeling a pressure.
00:08:56.20\00:08:59.33
I think sometimes
when we have a parent
00:08:59.37\00:09:01.67
who's in a leadership position,
00:09:01.70\00:09:03.07
especially a
spiritual leadership position,
00:09:03.10\00:09:05.64
we are very
cognizant of the fact
00:09:05.67\00:09:07.38
that people watch us.
00:09:07.41\00:09:09.64
And sometimes that
may make it seem like
00:09:09.68\00:09:11.65
it's not okay for
us to have struggles
00:09:11.68\00:09:14.52
because we're supposed to
be a good example to the church
00:09:14.55\00:09:17.99
or because we're supposed
to not burden our parents
00:09:18.02\00:09:21.86
'cause they're doing God's work.
00:09:21.89\00:09:23.96
And the first thing
I want to say is that
00:09:23.99\00:09:26.73
a pastor's kid is just a kid,
00:09:26.76\00:09:29.33
and you're
allowed to have struggles,
00:09:29.36\00:09:31.60
and we have struggles.
00:09:31.63\00:09:33.60
And it is still a parent's job
to be there in those struggles.
00:09:33.64\00:09:39.07
Don't feel guilty about that.
00:09:39.11\00:09:41.34
Don't feel like it's wrong
00:09:41.38\00:09:43.24
because you're going
through something difficult.
00:09:43.28\00:09:45.41
We all go through things.
00:09:45.45\00:09:46.78
And being a pastor's kid
does not exempt you from that.
00:09:46.82\00:09:51.32
Yeah, I think the
other big thing too
00:09:51.35\00:09:53.52
in this all is learning to
really make God our father.
00:09:53.56\00:09:57.56
You know, we can't pick
who our father or mother is.
00:09:57.59\00:10:00.50
You know, we all
go through things,
00:10:00.53\00:10:02.13
people make decisions in life.
00:10:02.16\00:10:03.57
That's part of being
human. We have free will.
00:10:03.60\00:10:06.03
And sometimes parents
make decisions, do things,
00:10:06.07\00:10:09.60
act in certain ways
that aren't helpful.
00:10:09.64\00:10:12.57
And the most times,
they aren't intentional.
00:10:12.61\00:10:14.34
I just make sure that's clear.
00:10:14.38\00:10:15.71
This isn't intentional on
most occasions, but go ahead.
00:10:15.74\00:10:18.35
Exactly.
00:10:18.38\00:10:19.71
And I think the big thing
00:10:19.75\00:10:21.08
that we need to do
is make God our father,
00:10:21.12\00:10:24.92
really learn to come...
00:10:24.95\00:10:26.65
Like if you're
in this situation,
00:10:26.69\00:10:28.82
and you can't really be
vulnerable with your father,
00:10:28.86\00:10:32.96
let's say, be
vulnerable with God.
00:10:32.99\00:10:35.36
Learn to make Him
00:10:35.40\00:10:37.03
your comforter, your
counselor, your help.
00:10:37.07\00:10:39.97
When you're
depressed, go to Him.
00:10:40.00\00:10:42.67
Seek comfort in His Word.
00:10:42.70\00:10:44.04
And it's not...
00:10:44.07\00:10:45.61
Yes, it would be great if
your father could be there,
00:10:45.64\00:10:48.38
but you're gaining an experience
00:10:48.41\00:10:50.51
that will put
you so much farther
00:10:50.55\00:10:52.35
ahead of all your
peers and experience with God
00:10:52.38\00:10:55.12
if you learn to make
God's Word your counselor.
00:10:55.15\00:10:58.02
The situations that
people in leadership go through,
00:10:58.05\00:11:01.19
just from a
spiritual warfare standpoint,
00:11:01.22\00:11:03.39
are no joke.
00:11:03.43\00:11:04.76
And I think very
rarely appreciated
00:11:04.79\00:11:06.86
or understood by a
lot of the lay people.
00:11:06.90\00:11:10.17
Satan hates God.
00:11:10.20\00:11:11.97
He hates the followers of God.
00:11:12.00\00:11:13.44
And he doesn't want the
cause of God to succeed.
00:11:13.47\00:11:15.37
And he hates the family.
00:11:15.40\00:11:17.34
Well, what do you do
when all those things
00:11:17.37\00:11:18.84
converge into one household,
00:11:18.87\00:11:20.54
someone who's
come into their life
00:11:20.58\00:11:21.91
to the things of God,
00:11:21.94\00:11:23.28
leading in the things of God
00:11:23.31\00:11:24.65
because if Satan
can take down a leader,
00:11:24.68\00:11:26.55
people lose their
faith in the entire movement
00:11:26.58\00:11:28.58
a lot of times.
00:11:28.62\00:11:29.95
It's not that that's
a reasonable response
00:11:29.98\00:11:31.79
or an acceptable
response necessarily,
00:11:31.82\00:11:33.42
but it does happen.
00:11:33.46\00:11:34.79
And so because of this
00:11:34.82\00:11:36.16
Satan is seeking to attack
the homes of godly leaders.
00:11:36.19\00:11:39.03
And there are times,
when our moments of weakness,
00:11:39.06\00:11:41.13
we fail our children.
00:11:41.16\00:11:43.16
One of the most manly things
a dad can do in a situation
00:11:43.20\00:11:46.17
like that is own it.
00:11:46.20\00:11:48.40
But it's difficult.
00:11:48.44\00:11:49.87
But I think that this
is an appeal to adults
00:11:49.90\00:11:52.24
who may be
watching this program,
00:11:52.27\00:11:54.04
when you realize that
you're making decisions
00:11:54.08\00:11:56.04
whenever you
have a short temper,
00:11:56.08\00:11:57.81
when you're impatient,
00:11:57.85\00:11:59.35
when you may be
shaming your kids
00:11:59.38\00:12:00.95
because they do something wrong
or frustrate you in a moment,
00:12:00.98\00:12:03.39
recognize that
this person's question
00:12:03.42\00:12:05.19
is birth out of a mistake
00:12:05.22\00:12:06.92
made by someone
who was well intended.
00:12:06.96\00:12:09.19
And one of the best
ways to atone for that
00:12:09.22\00:12:11.13
and close up that gap of trust
00:12:11.16\00:12:13.66
and intimacy is to
face it head on and own it.
00:12:13.70\00:12:17.00
It would be far easier,
00:12:17.03\00:12:18.37
and things would
heal far more quickly
00:12:18.40\00:12:19.73
as we in our
interpersonal relationships,
00:12:19.77\00:12:22.27
we just take
responsibility and recognize,
00:12:22.30\00:12:24.41
"I shouldn't have
said that that way.
00:12:24.44\00:12:25.77
I'm sorry.
00:12:25.81\00:12:27.14
Will you forgive me?
00:12:27.18\00:12:28.51
Dad failed you just
now, and I'm sorry."
00:12:28.54\00:12:31.01
And so that's something
00:12:31.05\00:12:32.38
that I just
wanted to kind of give
00:12:32.41\00:12:34.02
as some form of explanation.
00:12:34.05\00:12:35.78
Even if parents
don't do these things,
00:12:35.82\00:12:39.29
we still can find
healing and acceptance with God.
00:12:39.32\00:12:41.99
But you know what?
00:12:42.02\00:12:43.36
There are times when
they just don't realize it.
00:12:43.39\00:12:44.86
And sometimes what we have to do
00:12:44.89\00:12:46.39
is go through
that process of saying,
00:12:46.43\00:12:48.26
"Hey, you probably
didn't mean it this way,
00:12:48.30\00:12:50.90
but this is how I received that
when you came home yesterday.
00:12:50.93\00:12:54.30
And I shared with you something
I've done wrong that day,
00:12:54.34\00:12:56.14
and I'm sorry.
00:12:56.17\00:12:57.61
I felt 10 times as bad,
like I was being ashamed
00:12:57.64\00:13:00.21
and identified
for how I had failed,
00:13:00.24\00:13:02.44
and that really hurt me.
00:13:02.48\00:13:04.05
I want to change, but
this hasn't helped me.
00:13:04.08\00:13:05.91
And I need to communicate that."
00:13:05.95\00:13:07.88
And whether they respond
positively or negatively,
00:13:07.92\00:13:09.88
you know that
you've done your part,
00:13:09.92\00:13:11.59
and you can have
peace at the end of the day
00:13:11.62\00:13:13.39
and seek that healing from God
00:13:13.42\00:13:14.76
that you didn't
find in that environment.
00:13:14.79\00:13:16.42
Do you have any other
brief closing thoughts?
00:13:16.46\00:13:20.50
Go first.
00:13:20.53\00:13:21.86
I just want to say briefly,
00:13:21.90\00:13:23.23
you know, sometimes a
parent may be doing things
00:13:23.26\00:13:24.90
that are really not good.
00:13:24.93\00:13:26.27
They may be
completely hypocritical,
00:13:26.30\00:13:27.90
even in church leadership,
00:13:27.94\00:13:29.27
and to those I
would make an appeal,
00:13:29.30\00:13:30.91
seek God, you know,
00:13:30.94\00:13:32.64
really see God for
repentance and grace.
00:13:32.67\00:13:36.21
And ask if what your
kids are saying is true,
00:13:36.24\00:13:38.21
not trying to
justify yourself immediately.
00:13:38.25\00:13:40.02
We don't minister
to our own families
00:13:40.05\00:13:42.08
or minister it to
other people, maybe in vain.
00:13:42.12\00:13:44.52
Wow. Yeah.
00:13:44.55\00:13:45.89
I just want to make an appeal
00:13:45.92\00:13:47.26
to those who are watching today,
00:13:47.29\00:13:48.62
whether it'd be
parents in these situations
00:13:48.66\00:13:50.86
or young people, that
there's a God in heaven
00:13:50.89\00:13:53.46
who has love for you
00:13:53.50\00:13:54.83
even when you
fail, when you stumble,
00:13:54.86\00:13:56.50
when you misunderstand,
00:13:56.53\00:13:57.87
when the whole
thing doesn't make sense,
00:13:57.90\00:13:59.27
He loves you, He's pursuing you,
00:13:59.30\00:14:01.44
and He has something
vastly better to offer us
00:14:01.47\00:14:03.47
than we are
seeking for ourselves.
00:14:03.51\00:14:05.47
Thank you again
for joining us on
00:14:05.51\00:14:06.84
Raw Questions Relevant Answers.
00:14:06.88\00:14:08.21
You can submit your questions
00:14:08.24\00:14:09.84
to www.facebook.com/RQRA3ABN.
00:14:09.88\00:14:15.52
Bless you.
00:14:15.55\00:14:16.89