I don't understand.
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Why did this
have to happen to me?
00:00:04.47\00:00:08.17
I feel like I just
can't make sense of things.
00:00:08.20\00:00:12.57
I need answers.
00:00:12.61\00:00:15.84
Where is God?
00:00:15.88\00:00:17.21
Hello and welcome to Raw
Questions Relevant Answers.
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This is a program designed
to answer your questions
00:00:25.09\00:00:27.76
whether it be about
life, about God, about church,
00:00:27.79\00:00:30.76
any of these things,
we want to hear from you.
00:00:30.79\00:00:33.70
And we're going
to do that today.
00:00:33.73\00:00:35.06
We have questions
that have been sent
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in via Facebook,
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and specifically today,
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we're looking at the
topic of Rules and Regulations.
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My name is Michelle Doucoumes.
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I'm a college professor,
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so I hear a lot
about rules and regulations
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and what people
like and don't like.
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And I'd like you
to meet my co-host.
00:00:50.08\00:00:52.11
This is Dee Casper,
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who is a brand
evangelist for ARTV.
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And we also have Mark Paden,
who is a freelance filmmaker.
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And so, guys,
we're going to dive
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right into this
big question right now,
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and I want to
ask you a question.
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Why is it...
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When we talk about rules
and regulations in the church,
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"Why doesn't the
church teach us the reasoning
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behind the rules
that we currently have?"
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This is sent in from a
man, age 21, in Tennessee.
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You want to start with this one?
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Sure.
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Yeah, I think there's
a couple different ways
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that we can look
at this question.
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I think the first
thing is that oftentimes,
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we don't, as a church,
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don't always know the reasons
for the rules that we have.
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You know, God wants us
to have a rational faith,
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a faith in which we
understand the principles
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behind what He gives us.
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But I think,
the other thing too,
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that I would say
to this question is,
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regardless of the church's
involvement in their exposition
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of the reason for the rules,
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we need to know them.
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As individual Christians,
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we are going to
be held individually
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accountable to God.
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And at the end of
time, we can't say,
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"Oh, but the
church didn't teach me
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the reasons for these rules."
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You know, we have
to go to God ourselves,
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and ask him,
"Lord, what is my duty?
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What do You want me to do?"
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And earnestly seek His Word
to find those answers on that.
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I would say that,
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like when we use the word
the church, in a general sense,
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the people who are enforcing
or teaching those things now
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may not be aware of the
discourse of the context
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and why we, as a church,
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originally
adopted these positions
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just to kind of
separate the two like...
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Right.
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I wouldn't say that we aimlessly
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came to these
positions as a corporate body,
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but that there were
rationales behind it,
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but it's because it's
what we've done for so long,
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that's just what we do.
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Like, don't question that,
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this is just who
we are and what we do.
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Sometimes, people may feel
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that's the way
that they're addressed,
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but I just want to make it clear
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that there is a
rationale that goes into it
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when we have
these things to start.
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I think something
that could be done better,
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at this stage, is
communicating the why,
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not just the what,
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and even sometimes the how.
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We may know what God expects,
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but we don't
know how to get there.
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So I think that kind of helps
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to give a
context for these things.
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But two, I think that it
would be far more helpful
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in the way in which
we lead our children
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whether it be as parents
or as leaders or as mentors,
00:03:09.92\00:03:13.49
instead of just
disciplining someone by saying,
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you know, "Don't
do that, that's bad."
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It's very, very
helpful to explain,
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"This is the reason
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why this isn't a
good thing to be doing."
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This is what the Word of God
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says about this
particular topic.
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It makes a big difference.
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But a lot of times,
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the young people are
just dealt with quickly of,
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"Don't. That's
bad. Moving on now."
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And it is kind of
leading to this bitterness
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because they
just feel controlled
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as opposed to reasoned with.
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One of the things we're
told in some of our writings,
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as a Church,
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regarding how to raise
children and education,
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particularly in
context of education,
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is that we should
bring them to a point
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where they recognize
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that what they've done is wrong,
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and then enlist their
will in its correction.
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And I think the only
way that's going to happen
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is if we communicate why
what has happened is wrong
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so they understand.
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Why this is an
ideal way to live.
00:04:02.10\00:04:03.97
And then three,
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inviting them to be part of
the process of the solution.
00:04:05.37\00:04:08.38
I think this is an ideal answer
00:04:08.41\00:04:10.58
to mishandling of
this in other contexts.
00:04:10.61\00:04:14.28
It's like a maturing
00:04:14.32\00:04:15.65
in the Christian
faith then I guess.
00:04:15.68\00:04:17.12
You know, when a
child is really young,
00:04:17.15\00:04:18.85
you might say, "Hey,
just don't run in the street."
00:04:18.89\00:04:20.79
Right.
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And they might be too
young to fully understand,
00:04:22.19\00:04:23.63
but as they grow up,
00:04:23.66\00:04:24.99
they need to
understand that context in order
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to really be able to apply
00:04:27.40\00:04:28.76
that principle in
different situations.
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And unfortunately,
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sometimes our
churches have failed at that.
00:04:32.93\00:04:35.50
Maybe not knowing how to explain
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or maybe even because, sadly,
00:04:37.51\00:04:40.98
some of us in the church
may not have studied ourselves
00:04:41.01\00:04:43.78
why we do some of these things.
00:04:43.81\00:04:45.71
So I like what you said, Mark.
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It is important that
we study for ourselves...
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We are the church...
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And we do need to be
able to know the reason
00:04:51.52\00:04:53.76
for what we believe and why.
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And it could be a
multi-generational
00:04:55.16\00:04:56.49
systemic failure that,
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you know, our parents may
not have been told the why,
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and so they just
told us the what,
00:05:00.33\00:05:02.43
and so that could be,
00:05:02.46\00:05:03.93
but the buck stops with me.
00:05:03.97\00:05:05.37
Yeah.
00:05:05.40\00:05:06.74
I'm going to be
accountable to God
00:05:06.77\00:05:08.10
for the decisions that I make,
00:05:08.14\00:05:09.47
and I need to know for
myself what I believe and why.
00:05:09.50\00:05:11.87
And I think
that's a good answer.
00:05:11.91\00:05:13.24
It doesn't excuse the abuse
of how it's happened before,
00:05:13.27\00:05:15.68
but we individually
still have a role to play
00:05:15.71\00:05:17.71
in searching for ourselves.
00:05:17.75\00:05:19.11
That's a great point.
00:05:19.15\00:05:21.12
Here's another
question, pretty heartfelt one.
00:05:21.15\00:05:23.92
This comes from a 15-year
old young lady in Tennessee,
00:05:23.95\00:05:28.19
it says, "I
want to go to heaven,
00:05:28.22\00:05:30.39
but I feel like I
will never be good enough
00:05:30.43\00:05:33.80
or able to follow all
the Christian standards.
00:05:33.83\00:05:36.90
And I don't even
know if I want to.
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I feel like God
is too controlling
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even though I realize
it might just be people
00:05:42.24\00:05:45.74
making Him out to be that way.
00:05:45.77\00:05:48.28
But then I think,
they're spiritual,
00:05:48.31\00:05:51.21
so maybe they're right."
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What would you say
to someone like that?
00:05:53.78\00:05:55.42
First of all, I just want to say
00:05:55.45\00:05:56.79
that I
appreciate your transparency
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and your honesty,
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like the whole
point of this program
00:06:00.09\00:06:01.42
is raw
questions, not to be crass,
00:06:01.46\00:06:03.12
but it's best and helpful,
00:06:03.16\00:06:05.26
I think, for
people to communicate
00:06:05.29\00:06:06.63
as honestly as possible.
00:06:06.66\00:06:08.10
I think one of the
main issues at stake here
00:06:08.13\00:06:10.30
is that they have not
been communicated within a way
00:06:10.33\00:06:13.44
that shows the
value that they have,
00:06:13.47\00:06:15.37
for one, and two,
00:06:15.40\00:06:16.87
that God has no
desire to control people.
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God only operates
under the tenets of love,
00:06:20.14\00:06:22.98
and His ideal
situation is self-governance,
00:06:23.01\00:06:26.28
a well-informed person
00:06:26.31\00:06:28.65
exercising their
will with the information
00:06:28.68\00:06:30.89
necessary to
make right decisions.
00:06:30.92\00:06:32.85
That's the way
that God operates.
00:06:32.89\00:06:34.72
But sometimes, when
people fail us in this regard,
00:06:34.76\00:06:37.66
our assumption is, "This
person claims to know God,
00:06:37.69\00:06:40.33
this person hurt me,
00:06:40.36\00:06:41.70
God must endorse
what they did to me."
00:06:41.73\00:06:43.70
And that's not necessarily true.
00:06:43.73\00:06:45.27
There are many
instances, we'll cover this,
00:06:45.30\00:06:47.04
I think, in a later episode,
on the topic of bad religion.
00:06:47.07\00:06:49.67
There are many instances
00:06:49.70\00:06:51.04
in which people were
hurt by religious folks,
00:06:51.07\00:06:53.58
and in the Bible,
00:06:53.61\00:06:54.94
and God
literally distances Himself
00:06:54.98\00:06:56.98
from the behavior of
those religious individuals,
00:06:57.01\00:06:59.35
and says, "I didn't do that,
00:06:59.38\00:07:00.72
I'm not like that,
00:07:00.75\00:07:02.08
and I'm having to
clean up that mess."
00:07:02.12\00:07:03.72
And so maybe even
if people are good,
00:07:03.75\00:07:07.02
that doesn't mean
00:07:07.06\00:07:08.39
that they have
correctly represented God...
00:07:08.42\00:07:10.03
Yes. In every instance.
00:07:10.06\00:07:11.39
Yes. Yeah.
00:07:11.43\00:07:12.76
Here's another thing
that I would say to this to.
00:07:12.79\00:07:14.63
You know, it's this...
00:07:14.66\00:07:17.03
One of the
sentiments in this is,
00:07:17.07\00:07:18.83
"I feel like I can
never get all of these right."
00:07:18.87\00:07:21.37
Amen.
00:07:24.01\00:07:26.98
We sometimes feel like
00:07:27.01\00:07:28.38
we have to be the
ones to get it right.
00:07:28.41\00:07:30.35
But listen to the
words of Christ to Isaiah,
00:07:30.38\00:07:33.92
"The whole..." And
this is in Isaiah 1:5, 6.
00:07:33.95\00:07:36.72
"The whole head is sick,
and the whole heart faint.
00:07:36.75\00:07:39.19
From the sole of the
foot even to the head,
00:07:39.22\00:07:40.96
there is no soundness in it,
00:07:40.99\00:07:42.49
but wounds and
bruises and putrefying sores."
00:07:42.52\00:07:45.83
This is our spiritual condition.
00:07:45.86\00:07:47.50
And in another verse,
00:07:47.53\00:07:48.86
I'm blanking on the
reference right now,
00:07:48.90\00:07:50.23
but it says "Can the
Ethiopian change his skin
00:07:50.27\00:07:51.83
or the leopard its spots?
00:07:51.87\00:07:53.37
Then may you also do good
00:07:53.40\00:07:54.74
who are
accustomed to doing evil."
00:07:54.77\00:07:56.54
We cannot just change
ourselves and love these things,
00:07:56.57\00:07:59.81
but the power is in...
00:07:59.84\00:08:02.08
Ezekiel 36, the God promises
to transform our hearts,
00:08:02.11\00:08:06.08
to take the
sinful polluted heart
00:08:06.11\00:08:09.15
that loves sin and
hates righteousness,
00:08:09.18\00:08:11.45
and changes it into a heart
00:08:11.49\00:08:13.56
and a mind that is in love
with the commandments of God,
00:08:13.59\00:08:16.62
that it finds its joy
and the beauty of holiness
00:08:16.66\00:08:19.69
and loves to do all
of God's requirements.
00:08:19.73\00:08:22.10
And then it's not
about trying to find
00:08:22.13\00:08:24.70
the lowest
possible standard for right
00:08:24.73\00:08:29.67
so that we can barely scrape by,
00:08:29.70\00:08:31.74
then it becomes
our goal to go exactly
00:08:31.77\00:08:34.44
with what God wants us to be,
00:08:34.48\00:08:36.18
and that all has to
start with a heart change.
00:08:36.21\00:08:38.08
So if you feel like,
00:08:38.11\00:08:39.45
"I just can't
get all this right."
00:08:39.48\00:08:40.82
Praise God.
00:08:40.85\00:08:42.18
Yeah.
00:08:42.22\00:08:43.55
You know, I'd
like to add something
00:08:43.59\00:08:44.92
to that that has to do with
00:08:44.95\00:08:46.29
how do we know if
that's God saying those voices.
00:08:46.32\00:08:50.36
Well, something that's really
helped me as remembering...
00:08:50.39\00:08:52.63
If that voice is
causing me to say, "All right,
00:08:52.66\00:08:55.86
I need to go to Jesus.
00:08:55.90\00:08:57.70
I lack, I don't have this right,
00:08:57.73\00:08:59.57
I need to go to Jesus."
00:08:59.60\00:09:01.10
Then that that's the Lord,
00:09:01.14\00:09:02.47
that's the Holy Spirit
that brings that conviction.
00:09:02.50\00:09:04.91
If the voice is saying,
"You're never good enough.
00:09:04.94\00:09:07.88
You're not
going to get it right.
00:09:07.91\00:09:09.54
You're just never
going to make it,"
00:09:09.58\00:09:11.45
that's the voice of
shame and it's not of the Lord.
00:09:11.48\00:09:13.92
That's of Satan.
00:09:13.95\00:09:15.28
And so when it is
God convicting us,
00:09:15.32\00:09:18.29
it'll be a voice that drives us
00:09:18.32\00:09:19.72
to the feet of
Jesus to go to Him.
00:09:19.75\00:09:21.69
That's it.
00:09:21.72\00:09:23.06
When men see their nothingness,
00:09:23.09\00:09:24.43
then they're
prepared to be close
00:09:24.46\00:09:25.79
with the
righteousness of Christ.
00:09:25.83\00:09:27.16
We have to
recognize our inability
00:09:27.20\00:09:28.83
to then put our full
trust in His ability.
00:09:28.86\00:09:30.80
I think it's a great point.
00:09:30.83\00:09:33.10
Another big question, guys.
00:09:33.13\00:09:34.70
This comes from a
16-year old girl in Maryland.
00:09:34.74\00:09:38.94
"I am here, but I am not here,
00:09:38.97\00:09:42.94
in my place is
someone who follows the rules
00:09:42.98\00:09:46.05
because I have to.
00:09:46.08\00:09:48.42
I put the right
answers on my Bible quizzes
00:09:48.45\00:09:50.32
because I'll
get an F if I don't.
00:09:50.35\00:09:53.05
If I ever had a
chance, my school ruined it.
00:09:53.09\00:09:57.43
My teachers judge people
who live differently than them,
00:09:57.46\00:10:00.46
and it makes me
wonder how they would view me
00:10:00.50\00:10:02.66
if they saw me
outside this place."
00:10:02.70\00:10:05.57
This strikes my heart as someone
00:10:05.60\00:10:07.04
who is a teacher myself.
00:10:07.07\00:10:10.17
But this is a big deal.
00:10:10.21\00:10:11.54
How do we deal with this?
00:10:11.57\00:10:13.24
I think it's
super important, again,
00:10:13.27\00:10:14.81
to understand the principles
00:10:14.84\00:10:16.68
and the Spirit
in which God intend,
00:10:16.71\00:10:18.55
and those things are
found in the Word of God
00:10:18.58\00:10:21.18
as opposed to
the misrepresentation
00:10:21.22\00:10:25.29
and the failed approach
of someone meaning well.
00:10:25.32\00:10:28.29
First of all, these people
in these positions of authority
00:10:28.32\00:10:31.13
in a majority, if
not all the situations,
00:10:31.16\00:10:33.46
are as sincere
as the day is long,
00:10:33.50\00:10:35.86
not intending to cause harm,
00:10:35.90\00:10:37.27
not intending to
push people away.
00:10:37.30\00:10:39.60
"They have a zeal but
not according to knowledge,"
00:10:39.63\00:10:41.54
the Apostle Paul says.
00:10:41.57\00:10:43.27
And there were
many people in his day
00:10:43.30\00:10:44.64
that practiced religion
that looked just like that,
00:10:44.67\00:10:47.08
not understanding that
the law was a means to an end,
00:10:47.11\00:10:50.58
not the end itself.
00:10:50.61\00:10:52.18
The whole point of rules
or regulations or reforms
00:10:52.21\00:10:55.58
is to enhance our
relationship with Jesus,
00:10:55.62\00:10:57.89
to remove the hindrances,
00:10:57.92\00:10:59.25
the things that kind
of encumber the ground
00:10:59.29\00:11:01.59
and make our growth less
easier and more difficult,
00:11:01.62\00:11:05.16
and they make it more difficult.
00:11:05.19\00:11:06.59
The whole point of those
was to draw us closer to Him.
00:11:06.63\00:11:08.30
And so if we understood
that God gave us these
00:11:08.33\00:11:10.37
because He loves us
00:11:10.40\00:11:11.73
and wants a closer
relationship with us,
00:11:11.77\00:11:13.60
we would give Him the benefit
of the doubt in the things
00:11:13.64\00:11:15.34
we don't understand initially.
00:11:15.37\00:11:17.34
And this is why we, as leaders,
00:11:17.37\00:11:18.91
need to take
this one on the chin
00:11:18.94\00:11:20.48
and recognize
that how I communicate
00:11:20.51\00:11:22.51
what God expects
is just as important
00:11:22.54\00:11:25.48
as
communicating what He expects.
00:11:25.51\00:11:27.98
And I just want to
take a moment to apologize
00:11:28.02\00:11:30.35
on behalf of people
00:11:30.39\00:11:31.72
who have failed
you in your life,
00:11:31.75\00:11:33.12
who should have
given you a better picture
00:11:33.15\00:11:34.62
but didn't.
00:11:34.66\00:11:35.99
God doesn't operate that way.
00:11:36.02\00:11:37.56
God is
reasonable, He's rational,
00:11:37.59\00:11:40.26
He's filled with love,
00:11:40.30\00:11:41.63
and His precepts only
lead to pleasures evermore
00:11:41.66\00:11:45.10
when followed as He
intended them to be.
00:11:45.13\00:11:47.40
And so I just want to
make sure that that's clear.
00:11:47.44\00:11:49.20
You know, there's
one other thing, too,
00:11:49.24\00:11:50.57
that I kind of
want to touch on here,
00:11:50.61\00:11:51.94
and we were kind of talking
about this a little bit before,
00:11:51.97\00:11:56.04
the fallacy fallacy.
00:11:56.08\00:11:59.01
In other words, if
you're familiar with this,
00:11:59.05\00:12:01.62
with the different fallacies,
00:12:01.65\00:12:02.98
it's basically
how things that...
00:12:03.02\00:12:07.09
Logical fallacies that don't
actually work in reasoning.
00:12:07.12\00:12:10.03
So for instance, the
fallacy fallacy states that just
00:12:10.06\00:12:13.33
because somebody's reasoning
is fallacious or bad, wrong,
00:12:13.36\00:12:17.87
doesn't mean that their
point is necessarily bad.
00:12:17.90\00:12:23.04
And this is something, too,
00:12:23.07\00:12:24.41
that I think really
applies to us as Christians
00:12:24.44\00:12:27.48
just because an
authority figure, a pastor,
00:12:27.51\00:12:31.11
a teacher
treats us in a bad way,
00:12:31.15\00:12:34.48
doesn't mean that the God
00:12:34.52\00:12:36.58
that they represent is bad.
00:12:36.62\00:12:39.22
So I would just encourage you,
00:12:39.25\00:12:41.69
be intellectually
honest with yourself.
00:12:41.72\00:12:45.96
Don't listen to...
00:12:45.99\00:12:48.53
I mean, I think all
of us have been hurt
00:12:48.56\00:12:50.57
by some religious
person at some time,
00:12:50.60\00:12:52.50
and like I've been hurt, right?
00:12:52.53\00:12:55.54
But that doesn't mean
00:12:55.57\00:12:56.91
that we have to
push back against God,
00:12:56.94\00:12:58.67
against even maybe
00:12:58.71\00:13:00.04
what they were
trying to tell us,
00:13:00.08\00:13:01.94
what it means is,
00:13:01.98\00:13:03.31
let's disambiguate God
from the negative behavior
00:13:03.35\00:13:06.05
and seek earnestly, and say,
00:13:06.08\00:13:07.42
"God, what are You
trying to teach me?"
00:13:07.45\00:13:09.25
And then, I think,
we'll have a lot more clarity.
00:13:09.28\00:13:11.15
I think, on this question
00:13:11.19\00:13:12.52
we need to ask is, "Is it true?"
00:13:12.55\00:13:14.12
Not, "Do I like
how it was done?"
00:13:14.16\00:13:15.99
Not, "Do I like how this person
00:13:16.02\00:13:17.43
went about it or what was said?"
00:13:17.46\00:13:18.86
"Is it true?
00:13:18.89\00:13:20.23
And I owe it to God to
search that out for myself
00:13:20.26\00:13:21.86
before I reject it outright."
00:13:21.90\00:13:23.63
I love how the Bible says,
00:13:23.67\00:13:25.37
you know, calm now and
let us reason together,
00:13:25.40\00:13:28.07
and that's another big thing,
00:13:28.10\00:13:29.50
it is God wants us
to ask these questions.
00:13:29.54\00:13:32.74
And so I really love
00:13:32.77\00:13:34.44
how people are
asking these questions.
00:13:34.48\00:13:36.81
If you're asking
that, that's a good thing,
00:13:36.85\00:13:38.41
and God understands that,
00:13:38.45\00:13:40.28
and He sends His
Holy Spirit to help us,
00:13:40.32\00:13:42.88
to empower us so
that we can do the things
00:13:42.92\00:13:46.86
that otherwise we
could not do on our own,
00:13:46.89\00:13:49.52
and that's the beautiful part.
00:13:49.56\00:13:51.39
And so thank you so
much for joining us for this.
00:13:51.43\00:13:54.33
And I hope that as you continue
to ask and seek the Lord,
00:13:54.36\00:13:58.10
that the Lord through His Spirit
00:13:58.13\00:13:59.60
will come in and lead and guide.
00:13:59.63\00:14:01.77
If you want to
send your questions,
00:14:01.80\00:14:04.04
find us on Facebook,
00:14:04.07\00:14:05.41
Raw Questions Relevant Answers
00:14:05.44\00:14:07.34
or RQRA3ABN.
00:14:07.38\00:14:10.95
And we will see you next time.
00:14:10.98\00:14:12.88
God bless.
00:14:12.91\00:14:14.25