The following program
deals with subject matter
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that may be inappropriate
for younger children.
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Parental discretion is advised.
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I don't understand
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why did this
have to happen to me.
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I feel like I just
can't make sense of things.
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I need answers.
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Where is God?
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Hello and welcome to Raw
Questions Relevant Answers.
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This is a program where
we look at the questions
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that you've sent,
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and we try to answer them
from a biblical perspective
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using the Word of God.
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My name is Michelle Doucoumes,
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and these are my co-hosts
Mark Paden and Dee Casper.
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Today, we're going
to be going into a topic
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that we started in a
previous episode on addictions.
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And I will forewarn you
that some of these questions
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are pretty big
and raw questions.
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In fact, if you have young
children watching right now,
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you may want to use caution
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or you may even want to
not have them in the room
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for some of these topics.
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And so that's just something
to consider as we go forward.
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But these are
some real questions
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that we've received.
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And I'm going to start with one
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that comes from a
male aged 27 in Ohio.
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It says, "How do we
deal with addictions
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such as pornography,
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masturbation, sports addiction,
and a flirtatious spirit?"
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So a lot in that one. Yeah.
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I mean, I think the
first most biggest thing
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is to reemphasize the
fact that we can overcome.
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Right?
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We can. We can.
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This is not an
issue of, you know what,
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these are just too difficult
to overcome, we can't do it,
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we don't have to get
lost in hopelessness.
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These are very, very
possible to overcome.
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I think that one of
the things to consider,
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we've kind of dealt with this
in the previous side was that
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the main reason for
addiction period is that
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there is some pain in our
life that we're seeking to numb.
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We feel bad, and so
we're running to something
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to make ourselves feel good.
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I just think
from a ground level.
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I remember someone shared this
with me a couple of years ago,
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and it was literally one
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of the most life-changing things
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I ever heard
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because I knew in a moment
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that what they told me was true,
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he's a licensed counselor.
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They said that "Every
addiction we have in our life
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is us seeking them,
pain that we're feeling."
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Immediately, I thought
in my mind was that's true
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but then the second thought was,
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"But where is the pain?"
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Because what I didn't know was
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I had spent a
majority of my life.
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I think at this stage, I
spent 25 or 30 years of my life
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not knowing that
principle and that premise.
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And what I didn't know was that
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you can spend a majority
of your life numbing pain
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without even knowing
that you're feeling pain.
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Wow!
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Never cried myself to
sleep, never saw a counselor,
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I didn't understand the
issues from my childhood
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and so forth, from my
parents being divorced,
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to my mom being
beat up by the guy
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she married after my dad.
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Things that really
messed me up as a kid
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and sent me into a
tailspin, and some strongholds
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that I'd had in my
experience for years,
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all started
around that same time.
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I never knew, never connected
the dots until that moment.
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So I think that's one
thing that can be helpful
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is start asking the question.
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And the beautiful thing is
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does God know where
you're feeling pain?
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Yeah. Yes.
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He does.
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Does God know the
answer to the pain
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that you're feeling?
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Yes.
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What God needs is
permission and a willingness
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from our part to go
through that process
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because God wants
us to have a life,
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and that more abundantly,
that's why Jesus came.
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The enemy comes
to steal, to kill,
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and destroy our
identity, our happiness,
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and a successful experience.
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So I would start there,
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just wait to understand
that's why we're addicted.
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Yeah.
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Otherwise, principles won't help
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because if by the grace of God,
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you stop
whatever ex-behavior is,
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masturbation or sports addiction
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or becoming a news
junkie or whatever,
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conspiracy theories,
wherever you want to run to,
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if that's what
you're addiction is,
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if by the grace
of God, you stop that
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because you just know
that ex-behavior's bad,
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don't do ex-behavior.
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The problem is
you're still hurting.
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Yeah. Yeah.
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So even if that behavior's
gone, the pain is still there,
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and you're going to
run to something else
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to numb your pain.
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Pop up at
another place. Exactly.
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Like trying to pull dandelion
weeds or chop off the top,
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it just comes back again.
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That's right.
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You know, another thing
too that I would add on to that
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is that in addition to pain
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that we've experienced and hurt,
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there's also a
lot of hopelessness
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that is
involved with addictions.
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You go to things
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when you don't feel like
there's any hope for things.
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And I think
starting on to the road
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to recovery from this thing,
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I think the first
principle is to find hope.
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Yes.
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We can go to God and find
hope in Him and in His Word.
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I think...
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Because so many of
these things are rooted
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in our own
feelings of hopelessness,
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the Word of God is perfectly
suited to bring us hope.
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Through the patience
and comfort of scriptures,
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we might have hope.
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And you know, the
communion with God
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and laying our burdens on Him,
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and really seeking
Him as our counselor,
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Him as the one who we can
cast all our cares upon Him,
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you know, these are some
of the first key elements
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I believe in getting that hope.
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Who is that?
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Paul that says we
are saved by hope.
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It's one of the key
elements in gaining that hope
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that can start us on that road.
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There's a lot of shame
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that comes with
addiction too, right?
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Yes, glad you're saying that.
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So there's a form of
pain that's in my experience,
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and so I'm running to
something to numb that pain.
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The problem is
after I run to that,
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one, it doesn't fill me.
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We talked about that
in our previous episode
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with the woman at the well that,
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you know, Jesus says,
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"This water
you're coming here for
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is going to make
you thirsty again."
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It can't fill you.
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So it doesn't fill you.
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What it does fill
you with is shame,
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not pleasure,
contentment, and wholeness.
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And so now what do
you do with this shame,
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you run to the
addiction to escape your shame.
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But then you feel shame again,
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and this is vicious cycle
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that doesn't
seem to want to end.
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And so I think that
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shame may not be what
brings you into addiction,
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but it's
certainly one of the things
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that keeps you there,
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and that has to be
dealt with as well.
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What I love is in 2
Corinthians 5:21, it says that,
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"God made Jesus, who knew
no sin or addiction," right?
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To become sin, to
become my addiction.
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Why?
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So that I might become
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the
righteousness of God in Christ.
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Shame is...
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So guilt is that
I've done something wrong,
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shame is that I
am something wrong.
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And anyone who's
wrestling with addiction,
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I have been there.
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We just feel like, "I'm nothing
but a "Fill in the blank,
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addict.
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"I'm nothing but a sex addict,
I'm nothing but an alcoholic,
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I'm nothing but,
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you know, someone
who's addicted to tobacco,
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I'm nothing but a homosexual,
I'm nothing but a..."
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Whatever the situation may be,
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we identify
ourselves by our sin.
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But the beautiful
thing is Jesus came
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to identify with
what we're stumbling with
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so that we can now be identified
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with His righteousness.
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This is what He wants for us.
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He's offered a divine
solution and an identity swap.
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Satan is the
chiefest of identity thieves.
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And Jesus came to
set us free from that.
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Yeah.
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And we're big with figuring
out which sins or addictions
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can and can't be
talked about sadly.
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There's like
there's the taboo one.
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If you're
dealing with pornography
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or some of these things
that's horrible and bad,
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but if you're dealing with pride
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or other things that's not...
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And that's not
scriptural, you know?
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These things are not
more or less in God's eyes.
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He's looking to
redeem the heart of those.
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And you know, it's
kind of all of this,
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I'm going to continue
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this whole discussion
into our next question
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'cause it really
relates to the whole same thing.
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We have someone else here.
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A female aged 28 from
Washington that is saying,
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"What are some
strategies for overcoming
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long-term strongholds or
addictions in our lives?"
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So once we realize
kind of what's behind them,
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what can we do, guys?
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Where do we go
for help with this?
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First of all,
acknowledging you have a problem
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and seeking accountability.
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Any form of
addiction is something that
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the temptation is
to do it in the dark,
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to keep it to yourself.
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One of the most
liberating things for me to do
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actually happened like
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less than 100
yards from this building,
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just outside of this building.
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I came to a camp
meeting a few years ago,
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and I end up meeting someone.
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And through our discourse,
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they opened up about something
that they were wrestling with
00:08:06.72\00:08:08.68
which was the same thing
that I was wrestling with.
00:08:08.72\00:08:10.72
And for the first time in
my life, guys, I felt human.
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Wow!
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I realized that
I'm not the only one.
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Someone else has
wrestled in this area.
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And this is what Paul
talks about in 1 Corinthians 10,
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where he says that,
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"No temptation is overtaking you
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except such as
is common to man."
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Other people
have dealt with this.
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But it says,
"But God is faithful,
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who will not allow
you to be tempted beyond
00:08:29.24\00:08:30.67
what you are able,
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but with the temptation,
will make a way of escape."
00:08:32.07\00:08:34.01
So the first
aspect of that formula
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for success to
some degree is that
00:08:35.98\00:08:37.75
I recognized that someone
else had gone through this.
00:08:37.78\00:08:40.92
I felt human, and immediately,
I had someone that could be
00:08:40.95\00:08:43.89
an
accountability partner for me.
00:08:43.92\00:08:45.55
It was a safe
person for me to talk with
00:08:45.59\00:08:47.86
about what I was going through.
00:08:47.89\00:08:49.22
We could pray together,
00:08:49.26\00:08:50.59
we could encourage each other
with scripture on that battle.
00:08:50.63\00:08:53.19
But it's helpful.
00:08:53.23\00:08:54.56
We talked about
this in a former episode.
00:08:54.60\00:08:55.93
We need to have, also,
forms of accountability
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who aren't going to be
more prone to take it easy on us
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because they're
struggling the same way.
00:09:00.77\00:09:02.10
Yeah, yeah.
00:09:02.14\00:09:03.47
It humanizes your struggle,
00:09:03.51\00:09:04.84
but it's helpful to have
people who are counselors,
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who are farther down the road,
00:09:06.41\00:09:08.28
and someone who's
struggling at the same time.
00:09:08.31\00:09:10.91
And when we're tempted,
00:09:10.95\00:09:12.28
the Holy Spirit is prompting us,
00:09:12.31\00:09:13.65
there's another way, right?
00:09:13.68\00:09:15.02
When Jesus comes
to our well and says,
00:09:15.05\00:09:16.38
"I have something
better to offer you
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than you're coming here for."
00:09:17.79\00:09:19.12
That's the first thing
00:09:19.15\00:09:20.49
is recognizing
the spirit's prompting
00:09:20.52\00:09:22.42
when you're tempted to
make the wrong decision,
00:09:22.46\00:09:24.39
and choosing to
trust that God...
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When we're
convicted before we sin,
00:09:26.59\00:09:29.56
that's not a sign of
condemnation from God.
00:09:29.60\00:09:31.70
It's literally a
lifeline for help.
00:09:31.73\00:09:34.50
We shouldn't
run from conviction.
00:09:34.54\00:09:36.27
We should run to
Jesus in conviction
00:09:36.30\00:09:39.14
because what He's telling us is
00:09:39.17\00:09:40.51
there's a way of
escape, there's a way out.
00:09:40.54\00:09:42.34
"I'm here because I love
you, and I want you to get out."
00:09:42.38\00:09:46.11
Now here's another aspect
in a very practical sense.
00:09:46.15\00:09:49.88
I think, anybody who
has struggled with this
00:09:49.92\00:09:51.99
can know from experience that,
00:09:52.02\00:09:53.56
you know, at a certain point,
00:09:53.59\00:09:55.76
it gets exceptionally hard
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to stop the train
from moving, right?
00:09:57.19\00:10:00.10
You know, one of the
best ways to curb this
00:10:00.13\00:10:03.47
is to stop it
before it starts, right?
00:10:03.50\00:10:06.13
And I think a
lot of us try to deal
00:10:06.17\00:10:08.27
with this head on
like we're at the point
00:10:08.30\00:10:10.51
where the train is
already going 60 miles an hour,
00:10:10.54\00:10:12.51
and we're trying to stop it,
00:10:12.54\00:10:13.88
and then we can't stop it,
00:10:13.91\00:10:15.24
and then we feel
like we're hopeless
00:10:15.28\00:10:16.61
because we can't
stop it at that point.
00:10:16.64\00:10:17.98
You know, the best strategy
00:10:18.01\00:10:19.55
is to attack it
at the beginning.
00:10:19.58\00:10:21.58
And here's a quote
that I really appreciate.
00:10:21.62\00:10:25.92
It's from book, Testimonies
to the Church Volume 2,
00:10:25.95\00:10:28.82
that I think really
has a lot of power in this.
00:10:28.86\00:10:31.49
"With watchfulness and prayer,
00:10:31.53\00:10:33.83
somebody's weakest
points can be so guarded
00:10:33.86\00:10:36.87
as to become
their strongest points,
00:10:36.90\00:10:38.83
and they can
encounter temptation
00:10:38.87\00:10:40.30
without being overcome."
00:10:40.34\00:10:42.07
So the beauty of
this is that like
00:10:42.10\00:10:44.31
if you're wrestling in
this, like really bad right now,
00:10:44.34\00:10:47.28
this can be actually
your strongest point,
00:10:47.31\00:10:49.28
which is powerful.
00:10:49.31\00:10:50.65
But how does it say
watchfulness and prayer?
00:10:50.68\00:10:52.58
Watch...
00:10:52.61\00:10:53.95
Like what are the things that
are triggering, you know what?
00:10:53.98\00:10:56.82
Like are you going on
Instagram late at night?
00:10:56.85\00:11:00.29
Are you doing different things?
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You know what your own
individual triggers are,
00:11:01.89\00:11:04.43
but are you putting yourself
on the grounds to be tempted?
00:11:04.46\00:11:08.30
Or another one,
like, you know, are you...
00:11:08.33\00:11:10.87
There's a lot
of different things
00:11:10.90\00:11:12.23
that can get us into
that, but making sure,
00:11:12.27\00:11:15.94
looking at it practically
in your own life and saying,
00:11:15.97\00:11:18.21
"Okay, what's getting to me,"
00:11:18.24\00:11:19.77
and then being intentional
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about removing
those things from you.
00:11:21.18\00:11:22.98
Yeah, that's presumption,
00:11:23.01\00:11:24.35
to keep playing
with that is presumption.
00:11:24.38\00:11:25.85
Right, right, you
know, it's scriptural.
00:11:25.88\00:11:28.48
Romans 13:14 says, "But
put on the Lord Jesus Christ,
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and," which is interesting,
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"and make no
provision for the flesh
00:11:34.46\00:11:36.79
to fulfill its lusts."
00:11:36.83\00:11:38.16
I think, sometimes, the issue is
00:11:38.19\00:11:39.53
we try to do either one
or the other and not both.
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Either we're trying to
make no provision for the flesh
00:11:42.63\00:11:44.67
but we're not putting on Jesus.
00:11:44.70\00:11:46.23
We're like,
"I'm going to Jesus,"
00:11:46.27\00:11:47.60
but at the same time,
00:11:47.64\00:11:48.97
we still have those doors
00:11:49.00\00:11:50.34
of temptation
just sitting there.
00:11:50.37\00:11:51.71
And instead of running from it,
we're kind of crawling from it,
00:11:51.74\00:11:53.74
hoping it will catch up
as I've heard someone say.
00:11:53.78\00:11:56.51
And we don't want that.
00:11:56.54\00:11:58.28
So there's the
union with Christ,
00:11:58.31\00:12:00.88
and at the same time,
cutting off those doors.
00:12:00.92\00:12:03.75
Something that I love
is in Colossians 3 as well.
00:12:03.79\00:12:07.96
Colossians 3:2, it says,
00:12:07.99\00:12:10.06
"Set your mind or
affections on things above,
00:12:10.09\00:12:14.16
not on things of the earth.
00:12:14.20\00:12:15.86
For you died, and your life
is hidden with Christ in God."
00:12:15.90\00:12:20.37
There is a shift,
00:12:20.40\00:12:21.94
an identity shift
that Christ wants to make
00:12:21.97\00:12:24.47
as we go through
this process of saying,
00:12:24.51\00:12:27.54
"This is not you anymore.
00:12:27.58\00:12:30.18
You are human.
00:12:30.21\00:12:31.71
You are not this
person who did this anymore.
00:12:31.75\00:12:34.82
You died."
00:12:34.85\00:12:36.28
And the fact that we can get
up with a new life in Christ.
00:12:36.32\00:12:40.36
But to do this, it says,
00:12:40.39\00:12:42.19
"Set our minds on things above."
00:12:42.22\00:12:44.49
And so it's kind of
like you were saying, Mark,
00:12:44.53\00:12:46.56
where are we focusing?
00:12:46.59\00:12:48.70
And that's going
to really dictate
00:12:48.73\00:12:50.37
a lot of our success or
failure is where our focus is.
00:12:50.40\00:12:53.94
I want to make a
point about our feelings.
00:12:53.97\00:12:55.64
Sometimes, it kind of drive us,
and this is a beautiful quote
00:12:55.67\00:12:58.84
on a commentary on
the life of Christ,
00:12:58.87\00:13:00.21
it's from a book
called Desire of Ages.
00:13:00.24\00:13:02.11
It says, "Do not wait to
feel that you are made whole."
00:13:02.14\00:13:04.11
Wow!
00:13:04.15\00:13:05.48
Sometimes, we feel
like I need to wait until
00:13:05.51\00:13:06.85
I feel like I'm good enough
for these things to change.
00:13:06.88\00:13:08.32
But they say, "No,
don't wait for that.
00:13:08.35\00:13:10.09
Believe what His word
says, and it will be fulfilled.
00:13:10.12\00:13:13.02
Put your will,
your power of choice
00:13:13.05\00:13:15.02
on the side of Christ.
00:13:15.06\00:13:16.39
Will to serve Him."
00:13:16.42\00:13:17.76
And listen to this,
00:13:17.79\00:13:19.13
"And acting upon His Word,
you will receive strength."
00:13:19.16\00:13:22.13
So in the command of God
00:13:22.16\00:13:23.60
is the power of
God to walk in it.
00:13:23.63\00:13:25.80
So when he told His
men in John 5 to rise,
00:13:25.83\00:13:27.50
take up his men and
walk, with that was power.
00:13:27.54\00:13:29.60
So when God says
00:13:29.64\00:13:30.97
that He doesn't want us
to fall into sexual sinner
00:13:31.01\00:13:32.64
or temptation or the other way,
He's giving power to overcome.
00:13:32.67\00:13:35.68
But they close at this thought.
00:13:35.71\00:13:37.05
"Whatever may be
the evil practice,
00:13:37.08\00:13:38.78
the master
passion of which through
00:13:38.81\00:13:40.15
a long indulgence
binds both soul and body,"
00:13:40.18\00:13:42.28
I love this, "Christ is
able, and He longs to deliver.
00:13:42.32\00:13:47.09
He will impart life to the
soul that is dead in trespasses,
00:13:47.12\00:13:50.03
and he will set free
the captive that is held by
00:13:50.06\00:13:51.93
weakness and misfortune
in the chains of sin."
00:13:51.96\00:13:54.93
Amen.
00:13:54.96\00:13:56.87
So for those of you
today who are listening to this
00:13:56.90\00:13:59.63
and are dealing with addictions,
00:13:59.67\00:14:01.00
first of all,
know you're not alone.
00:14:01.04\00:14:03.44
We all have dealt with this.
00:14:03.47\00:14:04.81
But Christ offers
hope, He offers healing,
00:14:04.84\00:14:07.34
He offers victory.
00:14:07.38\00:14:08.71
Amen. I ask you
to continue to watch.
00:14:08.74\00:14:11.71
If you have questions,
00:14:11.75\00:14:13.08
you can submit them
on our Facebook page,
00:14:13.11\00:14:14.52
RQRA3ABN.
00:14:14.55\00:14:17.39
And until next time, God bless.
00:14:17.42\00:14:19.85
We'll see you later.
00:14:19.89\00:14:21.22