I don't understand,
00:00:01.80\00:00:04.40
why did this
have to happen to me?
00:00:04.43\00:00:08.10
I feel like I just
can't make sense of things.
00:00:08.14\00:00:12.51
I need answers.
00:00:12.54\00:00:15.88
Where is God?
00:00:15.91\00:00:17.25
Hello and welcome to Raw
Questions Relevant Answers,
00:00:20.88\00:00:23.89
the program where we take a look
00:00:23.92\00:00:25.25
at the questions
that you have sent in
00:00:25.29\00:00:27.36
and try to answer those
from a biblical perspective.
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My name is Michelle Doucoumes.
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I am your host today and
I am joined by my co-hosts
00:00:31.89\00:00:34.13
Dee Casper and Mark Paden.
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So today's topic is
"Transitioning to Adulthood."
00:00:36.77\00:00:40.60
For some, this may
have been something
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that you really looked forward
or are looking forward to
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and the freedom
that comes with it.
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For others, this may be a
bit of a kind of scary thing
00:00:47.11\00:00:49.81
to think about.
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So we are going to
try to take a look at this
00:00:51.21\00:00:52.55
and see what advice we can have
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for this
transition as Christians.
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Our first question
today comes to us from a male,
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18 years old, in Texas.
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And he says, "How do
you find and maintain
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a strong spiritual support group
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when you are independent
and on your own in a new place?
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What do you do if you
are the only Adventist
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in your work, college, or home?"
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I think the first thing to
do is to do diligent search
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to find likeminded individuals
in the community where you are,
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take some time.
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The nice thing is
when you've got Facebook,
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when you've got Google,
you can find a local church
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and just see what exists.
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Sometimes
there's multiple options
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but start there.
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I've got friends that ended
up in environments like that.
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They didn't find a lot of
young people where they were
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but they did find
supportive families.
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They were kind of like a mother
in Israel to you from the far,
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someone who's just
wanted to be in encouragement
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to other church members.
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That's the first place to look.
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Just to have
someone to encourage you
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in your faith
journey, where you are,
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even if they are
not the same age.
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The second thing is, if
you are isolated in a situation
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where in your college, in
your work, whatever it is,
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you don't find
people of similar mindset,
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it's a witnessing
opportunity for sure
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but one question
you're gonna ask yourself is,
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"Am I here to be an influence
or am I being influenced?"
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And one of those transitioning
into adulthood questions
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we had to ask is,
"Am I ready for that?
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Or should I make my
next move to a place
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where I have more
support to begin with?"
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But if you are already there,
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then we just had to
make the most of it, right?
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And find accountability
and good mentorship
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in that location.
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You know, this also brings
up another interesting point.
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You know, let's say we are
just transitioning into that,
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maybe we are going to college.
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We also need to be careful
of the associations we form
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even if we go to a place
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where there are lot of
likeminded people, right?
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The people...
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Our closest
friends influence us a lot.
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We really become a mix of
our three closest friends.
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So if you are, you know,
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just starting out
going to a college
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or wherever you are after
now that you kind of left home.
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You know, this is a really
good time to start thinking
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intelligently about who
you are becoming friends with.
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Don't just become
friends with somebody because,
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you know, they are fun
to hang around or whatever.
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Be intentional about choosing
and forming close friendships
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with people who'll
guide you closer to God.
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But if nobody
like that is around,
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make God your counselor.
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We've talked to friends online,
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you know, there's
people all over the world
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that think like you do
and believe like you do.
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So find people
online to talk to that...
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I mean there's plenty of
people and certainly, you know,
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friends from other
places, call them once a week,
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have online prayer meetings
and studies and what, you know?
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You know, it's true.
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Technology puts
you in a situation
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that maybe you do have
close spiritual friends
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but they are not
geographically close any more.
00:03:48.22\00:03:51.13
With technology as it is,
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you can have FaceTime
prayer meetings together.
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You can do stuff
like that to make sure
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that your
batteries are being charged
00:03:56.77\00:03:58.10
and you have some
form of accountability,
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we all need that,
right? All of us do.
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Those in
ministry, those in school,
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those at work, we all need it.
00:04:03.14\00:04:04.84
And if you can't find it
in your immediate proximity,
00:04:04.87\00:04:07.78
technology can still keep you
in contact with those you know
00:04:07.81\00:04:10.51
can help in those areas.
00:04:10.55\00:04:11.88
You know, I was
given some advice
00:04:11.91\00:04:13.25
that I appreciated it once
and that was that we all need
00:04:13.28\00:04:15.52
kind of three groups
of people in our lives.
00:04:15.55\00:04:17.72
We need people
that we minister to
00:04:17.75\00:04:19.95
and that could be the
friends at your secular school,
00:04:19.99\00:04:22.86
secular
workplace, secular family,
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but at the same time,
00:04:25.53\00:04:26.86
we also need people
that we minister with,
00:04:26.90\00:04:29.16
those likeminded friends
00:04:29.20\00:04:30.70
who we keep each
other accountable
00:04:30.73\00:04:32.17
and we encourage each other.
00:04:32.20\00:04:34.04
And then we need
people who minister to us,
00:04:34.07\00:04:36.71
those are our mentors,
those who really can look
00:04:36.74\00:04:40.18
at things from a
different perspective.
00:04:40.21\00:04:42.24
And so seek out that balance.
00:04:42.28\00:04:44.28
Don't be afraid
to be in a place.
00:04:44.31\00:04:45.95
God may call you to a
place where you are the only one
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or feel like
you are the only one
00:04:49.58\00:04:51.09
and you are there for a purpose.
00:04:51.12\00:04:53.05
But at the same time,
00:04:53.09\00:04:55.39
build those other relationships
like you all were saying
00:04:55.42\00:04:58.06
so that that balance is there.
00:04:58.09\00:04:59.43
The moral component
is very, very important
00:04:59.46\00:05:01.56
in these settings.
00:05:01.60\00:05:02.93
You need to have
moral likeminded individuals
00:05:02.96\00:05:06.23
that have similar
morals and principles.
00:05:06.27\00:05:08.34
We have to have
that in life. Right.
00:05:08.37\00:05:09.87
We shouldn't only retreat
and be hidden only with them,
00:05:09.90\00:05:12.97
but we definitely
need that in that sense
00:05:13.01\00:05:15.14
to have that proper balance.
00:05:15.18\00:05:16.95
All right.
00:05:16.98\00:05:18.61
Our next question comes
from a young lady, age 26,
00:05:18.65\00:05:23.25
and this is going
to be about going out
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and getting a job.
00:05:27.56\00:05:29.09
I'm sorry, actually age 21,
00:05:29.12\00:05:31.09
says, "I have a part
time job and a business.
00:05:31.13\00:05:34.03
My parents are worried
that if I move out now,
00:05:34.06\00:05:37.37
I won't make it on my own.
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My concern is
that they're right...
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But God will take care of me...
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Right?"
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You know, I'd love to
speak to this one because...
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Well, you've
done some... Yeah...
00:05:47.84\00:05:49.18
of those like that...
Okay. exactly, exactly.
00:05:49.21\00:05:51.08
You know, I'm
not the oldest person
00:05:51.11\00:05:52.88
on this platform
right now and I...
00:05:52.91\00:05:55.02
What did you say?
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We are not going to
tell you who is, yes.
00:05:56.92\00:06:00.52
Yeah, but I've...
00:06:00.56\00:06:03.19
You know I am
self-employed right now.
00:06:03.22\00:06:04.56
I do freelance video
in photography and design
00:06:04.59\00:06:07.70
and you know, I
don't have a stable income
00:06:07.73\00:06:11.57
coming from one individual,
00:06:11.60\00:06:13.03
you know, I have to
find clients on my own
00:06:13.07\00:06:15.20
and do all that.
00:06:15.24\00:06:16.57
And I had to admit, it
was a little bit terrifying
00:06:16.60\00:06:18.41
when I jumped out into it.
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And I sense some of
the same thing here,
00:06:20.31\00:06:22.21
you know, they are
starting the business
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and they have a job part time
00:06:25.75\00:06:28.18
and they are
wanting to leave home.
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You know, the biggest
thing that I've learned
00:06:29.85\00:06:33.09
in my personal journey is that
God has had a plan for my life.
00:06:33.12\00:06:36.93
Wow, yeah.
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You know, this work that I do...
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It's a ministry, it's
not just ads for, you know,
00:06:39.69\00:06:43.87
cars or whatever, not that
that'd be wrong but you know,
00:06:43.90\00:06:46.53
this is something
that God has led me into
00:06:46.57\00:06:49.50
and clearly guided in
and at every step of the way,
00:06:49.54\00:06:52.31
He has provided for
me to be able to do that.
00:06:52.34\00:06:55.64
And I've seen many times
00:06:55.68\00:06:57.21
when I stepped out on to my own,
00:06:57.25\00:07:00.12
because even before
doing what I am doing now,
00:07:00.15\00:07:02.28
I was involved
in another ministry
00:07:02.32\00:07:03.82
where you know, funding
wasn't readily available
00:07:03.85\00:07:08.02
and, I mean, my
parents were a little bit
00:07:08.06\00:07:11.46
concerned about it, you know?
00:07:11.49\00:07:13.19
But you know what I've found?
00:07:13.23\00:07:14.70
God provided it at every step.
00:07:14.73\00:07:16.16
There was never a
time when I lacked money
00:07:16.20\00:07:20.64
for the basic
necessities of life.
00:07:20.67\00:07:22.87
Now I should throw
in a word of caution.
00:07:22.90\00:07:25.31
I am not recommending
that it's just like,
00:07:25.34\00:07:28.28
"Oh, let's just jump out into it
00:07:28.31\00:07:30.18
and trust God because..."
00:07:30.21\00:07:32.11
We shouldn't jump off the temple
00:07:32.15\00:07:34.05
hoping that the angels
will catch us, if you catch
00:07:34.08\00:07:35.98
my reference, right?
00:07:36.02\00:07:37.35
And of course
that's from the Bible
00:07:37.39\00:07:38.85
where Satan comes
and tempts Christ.
00:07:38.89\00:07:40.79
Matthew 4, yes. Yeah, yeah.
00:07:40.82\00:07:43.02
We shouldn't do that.
00:07:43.06\00:07:44.49
And there are certain things,
"Be a cautious risk taker,"
00:07:44.53\00:07:49.23
is what I like to say.
00:07:49.26\00:07:52.43
Make sure that you
have things lined up
00:07:52.47\00:07:56.24
in case the things
don't work out, you know?
00:07:56.27\00:07:58.97
If your business
suddenly goes under
00:07:59.01\00:08:01.21
or something like
that, have a plan,
00:08:01.24\00:08:03.78
you know, be smart about it.
00:08:03.81\00:08:05.78
It's not just about
blindly trusting God
00:08:05.81\00:08:08.08
and jumping out into the abyss.
00:08:08.12\00:08:11.39
We want to make sure
that we have enough money
00:08:11.42\00:08:14.86
to build the tower
before we build the tower.
00:08:14.89\00:08:16.66
Right.
00:08:16.69\00:08:18.03
The fact that God calls
people out to do faith ventures
00:08:18.06\00:08:20.90
like this does
not necessarily mean
00:08:20.93\00:08:22.40
that God has called
you to make this venture.
00:08:22.43\00:08:24.70
And the question we have
to find the answer to is,
00:08:24.73\00:08:26.90
"Is this what God
is asking me to do?
00:08:26.94\00:08:29.20
Or is it just that I know
that God has called people
00:08:29.24\00:08:31.37
to do this in the past
and that's what I want to do?"
00:08:31.41\00:08:34.91
And there is a
big distinction here.
00:08:34.94\00:08:36.54
If this is what God
is calling you to do,
00:08:36.58\00:08:38.28
and Mark and I had to do this
00:08:38.31\00:08:39.65
a lot of kind
of flying by faith,
00:08:39.68\00:08:42.48
in a lot of our
ministry ventures
00:08:42.52\00:08:43.85
together and individually,
that we have been in situations
00:08:43.89\00:08:46.86
where God has provided
for our day-to-day bills
00:08:46.89\00:08:49.02
and not much more than that.
00:08:49.06\00:08:50.39
But we've seen so many
miracles and testimonies
00:08:50.43\00:08:52.49
because we
committed to radically giving
00:08:52.53\00:08:53.93
and radically living, but
that's where God called us.
00:08:53.96\00:08:56.53
And so that's the first thing,
00:08:56.56\00:08:58.60
we've talked about
this in a previous program.
00:08:58.63\00:09:00.24
What is the will
of God for your life?
00:09:00.27\00:09:02.54
If God is calling you
to start this business
00:09:02.57\00:09:05.01
and God is leading that,
00:09:05.04\00:09:06.37
it's God's responsibility
to provide for you.
00:09:06.41\00:09:08.24
It's your
responsibility to be faithful
00:09:08.28\00:09:09.71
of what He has given
and to be responsible.
00:09:09.74\00:09:12.31
And so I think
those are the principles
00:09:12.35\00:09:13.85
we need to keep in mind
00:09:13.88\00:09:15.22
and not just that
God calls people there,
00:09:15.25\00:09:17.12
did God call you there?
00:09:17.15\00:09:18.55
If yes, it's His
responsibility to keep you
00:09:18.59\00:09:20.92
while you are there as
long as you are abiding
00:09:20.96\00:09:22.96
and following His principles.
00:09:22.99\00:09:24.33
I agree with you guys.
00:09:24.36\00:09:25.69
And it's interesting
because entrepreneurship
00:09:25.73\00:09:27.16
is actually one of the things
00:09:27.20\00:09:28.53
that I teach in
business and so I love that.
00:09:28.56\00:09:32.23
There is a quote in
a book called Education
00:09:32.27\00:09:34.57
that talks about how
God created men as thinkers
00:09:34.60\00:09:37.54
or the powers to
create and to do.
00:09:37.57\00:09:39.61
And there's something
beautiful about stepping out
00:09:39.64\00:09:42.81
and trying something.
00:09:42.84\00:09:44.25
And if you
believe God is leading,
00:09:44.28\00:09:46.85
that's a risk that
may be worth taking.
00:09:46.88\00:09:48.38
I also though
realize that there is a place
00:09:48.42\00:09:51.25
for getting godly counsel.
00:09:51.29\00:09:52.62
If your family, your mentors,
00:09:52.65\00:09:54.82
others are
cautioning you with this,
00:09:54.86\00:09:56.56
it might be something to
really listen and think about.
00:09:56.59\00:09:58.99
Sometimes as young
people, we have lots of zeal
00:09:59.03\00:10:01.83
but we are not used
to getting the wisdom
00:10:01.86\00:10:05.03
always to go with it.
00:10:05.07\00:10:06.40
We don't always
know what's realistic,
00:10:06.43\00:10:08.10
so do get counseled.
00:10:08.14\00:10:10.34
But on the other hand,
there are times to step out.
00:10:10.37\00:10:12.77
Not everyone may
understand your decision
00:10:12.81\00:10:14.74
to do an
unconventional path in life.
00:10:14.78\00:10:16.81
Yeah.
00:10:16.85\00:10:18.18
But the Lord can be
in those things too.
00:10:18.21\00:10:19.88
And I just want
to throw in here too.
00:10:19.91\00:10:21.25
When I made the decision
to become self-employed,
00:10:21.28\00:10:24.59
you know, I had talked to
with quite a few counselors
00:10:24.62\00:10:27.89
like especially
one of my main ones,
00:10:27.92\00:10:29.79
he is a business manager
00:10:29.82\00:10:31.16
and so he understands
the world of business.
00:10:31.19\00:10:35.13
And so having that
help in getting out there
00:10:35.16\00:10:37.97
and also I had back-up.
00:10:38.00\00:10:40.67
I had two things that
00:10:40.70\00:10:42.40
even if I didn't make a
single dollar that month,
00:10:42.44\00:10:44.37
I would be okay. Yeah.
00:10:44.41\00:10:47.41
It ended up
falling through and...
00:10:47.44\00:10:48.98
But anyways, God provided it.
00:10:49.01\00:10:52.18
But I think it's
a good point though
00:10:52.21\00:10:53.72
that it's very important
for us to seek out counsel
00:10:53.75\00:10:56.42
from people in the
direction that we are going.
00:10:56.45\00:10:58.75
True. Yeah.
00:10:58.79\00:11:00.12
And so I am a big, big
believer in seeking out
00:11:00.16\00:11:02.62
subject matter experts in
the area that I am pursuing.
00:11:02.66\00:11:05.93
So if someone is being
called to start a business,
00:11:05.96\00:11:08.36
go reach out to entrepreneurs
who have had success
00:11:08.40\00:11:10.67
and ask them questions.
00:11:10.70\00:11:12.03
Right.
00:11:12.07\00:11:13.40
If God is calling you to
be involved in media ministry,
00:11:13.44\00:11:14.77
go talk to a media ministry
individual and ask them,
00:11:14.80\00:11:16.71
"What was your experience like?"
00:11:16.74\00:11:18.47
One of my favorite
questions to ask people is,
00:11:18.51\00:11:21.04
"What are the
things that you wish
00:11:21.08\00:11:22.41
someone would have told you
00:11:22.44\00:11:23.78
when you started
knowing what you know now?"
00:11:23.81\00:11:25.15
Oh, yes. Yeah.
00:11:25.18\00:11:26.51
I ask that question to everyone.
00:11:26.55\00:11:27.88
"What do you wish
someone would have told you
00:11:27.92\00:11:29.25
when you started
knowing what you know now?"
00:11:29.28\00:11:30.62
Yeah. That's right.
00:11:30.65\00:11:31.99
And because it
saves you a lot of time
00:11:32.02\00:11:33.36
and a lot of
hardship when we do that.
00:11:33.39\00:11:34.72
Yeah.
00:11:34.76\00:11:36.09
All right, guys.
00:11:36.12\00:11:37.46
So we've got another one.
00:11:37.49\00:11:38.83
On top of that, we
have a female, age 26,
00:11:38.86\00:11:41.70
from California that is asking,
00:11:41.73\00:11:43.77
"How do we find
our personal footholds
00:11:43.80\00:11:46.50
on the journey of life
without feeling the pressures
00:11:46.53\00:11:48.97
and expectations of our family?"
00:11:49.00\00:11:51.01
So we talked about work.
00:11:51.04\00:11:52.84
But now what
about our personal life?
00:11:52.87\00:11:54.41
As we get out there,
beyond maybe the scope of home.
00:11:54.44\00:11:56.68
That one is no joke.
00:11:56.71\00:11:58.28
I mean there's
cultural components and others
00:11:58.31\00:12:00.05
where there's so much
pressure from our family
00:12:00.08\00:12:02.85
to be what they
want for us to be
00:12:02.88\00:12:04.72
that sometimes can
pressure us out of going
00:12:04.75\00:12:07.56
where God wants us to go.
00:12:07.59\00:12:08.92
Yeah. Jesus
understood this, right?
00:12:08.96\00:12:10.69
His brothers did not
fully understand His mission
00:12:10.73\00:12:13.03
or believe in Him to
some degree at the stage.
00:12:13.06\00:12:15.33
I think it's in John 7,
and it's a difficult impression
00:12:15.36\00:12:19.00
that we may
have to contend with,
00:12:19.03\00:12:20.37
and this is why
knowing who we are in Christ
00:12:20.40\00:12:22.37
in our identity and
where He is leading us
00:12:22.40\00:12:24.61
in His will is of
the chiefest importance
00:12:24.64\00:12:27.01
in those moments of disconnect
and disharmony in our home.
00:12:27.04\00:12:30.31
And one of the thing too
that I would mention in this
00:12:30.35\00:12:32.31
is make sure that your desire,
00:12:32.35\00:12:36.69
because oftentimes
where this comes from is,
00:12:36.72\00:12:39.55
you know, you want to
go in a certain direction,
00:12:39.59\00:12:41.69
you are having a lot of
pressure from your family
00:12:41.72\00:12:43.39
to go in another direction.
00:12:43.43\00:12:45.53
There is going to be sometimes
00:12:45.56\00:12:46.90
where honestly
your family is wrong.
00:12:46.93\00:12:48.26
There is going to be other times
00:12:48.30\00:12:49.63
when honestly you are wrong.
00:12:49.66\00:12:51.00
Right.
00:12:51.03\00:12:52.37
Be sure, be cerebral about it.
00:12:52.40\00:12:54.87
Think through it. Be wise.
00:12:54.90\00:12:57.04
Ask God and
really seek for wisdom
00:12:57.07\00:12:59.44
and don't just
try to do the thing
00:12:59.47\00:13:01.34
that you would prefer
to do in a headstrong away.
00:13:01.38\00:13:05.25
You know,
sometimes our parents...
00:13:05.28\00:13:08.22
We don't like to admit
it. Yeah, but they are right.
00:13:08.25\00:13:10.79
But then other times like
in what you are mentioning,
00:13:10.82\00:13:15.92
you know, parents can
really hold young people back
00:13:15.96\00:13:19.43
from the
ministry that God wants.
00:13:19.46\00:13:20.86
And sometimes
that's because the parents
00:13:20.90\00:13:22.46
just want financial
security for the kids.
00:13:22.50\00:13:25.40
God may not want
financial security for you.
00:13:25.43\00:13:27.44
Right. Okay?
00:13:27.47\00:13:28.80
Or He may provide it in a
means they don't know about.
00:13:28.84\00:13:30.17
Exactly. Yeah.
00:13:30.21\00:13:31.54
But God calls people
sometimes to mission fields
00:13:31.57\00:13:34.44
where there is not...
00:13:34.48\00:13:37.15
You don't get a 401k, you know?
00:13:37.18\00:13:39.05
So as we sum this up, you know,
00:13:39.08\00:13:41.88
it's an interesting thing
that this is a time in life,
00:13:41.92\00:13:44.65
transitioning to adulthood,
that is super important
00:13:44.69\00:13:47.09
because God may be calling
you right now to really examine
00:13:47.12\00:13:50.33
what you believe and
why, to look at those things.
00:13:50.36\00:13:52.66
Yes.
00:13:52.69\00:13:54.03
All of us have to
go through this process
00:13:54.06\00:13:55.40
of knowing for ourselves
00:13:55.43\00:13:57.17
who we are, what we believe
00:13:57.20\00:13:59.07
and what God
has to say about us.
00:13:59.10\00:14:00.74
So go to God's
Word, seek counsel,
00:14:00.77\00:14:03.51
and God will lead and guide you.
00:14:03.54\00:14:05.17
Thank you for joining us today.
00:14:05.21\00:14:06.57
Check out our
Facebook page, RQRA3ABN.
00:14:06.61\00:14:10.25
We'll see you next time.
00:14:10.28\00:14:11.91