Hello and welcome to "Road to Romance" 00:00:22.28\00:00:25.35 I'm your host Dr. John Jacob. 00:00:25.39\00:00:27.32 Today we have with us Bianca, Sean and Miles. 00:00:27.36\00:00:30.59 Welcome! Good to see ya! Hello! 00:00:30.63\00:00:32.66 So I thought today, we could take a look at your 00:00:32.69\00:00:34.56 past - does that make you feel a little nervous? 00:00:34.60\00:00:37.73 Miles has a... No, my past is pretty ah... 00:00:37.77\00:00:40.57 Pretty, pretty clean? Don't dig that up. 00:00:41.00\00:00:43.04 Don't dig it up. Yeah 00:00:43.07\00:00:44.41 Well not that kind of past, just the effect that your past 00:00:44.44\00:00:47.21 experiences has had on your present dating. Okay 00:00:47.24\00:00:50.71 So let's take a look at the slide. 00:00:51.45\00:00:54.48 So, "past relationships," I'm pretty sure that you 00:00:56.15\00:00:59.65 did not know that every experience you've ever had 00:00:59.69\00:01:02.79 shapes or re-shapes your brain. Makes sense. 00:01:02.82\00:01:07.23 So we knew that parenting can shape a child's brain, 00:01:07.26\00:01:10.47 but even after you've left your parents' home, 00:01:10.50\00:01:13.90 and you live, you know, on your own, 00:01:13.94\00:01:15.67 and you go out, you start work, make a living, 00:01:15.70\00:01:18.61 try to meet some people and try to date, 00:01:18.64\00:01:21.84 and start a life of your own... 00:01:21.88\00:01:23.45 Every one of those experiences actually shapes your brain, 00:01:23.48\00:01:27.78 and the more traumatic or the more ecstatic the relationship, 00:01:27.82\00:01:33.09 the greater an impact it has on how your brain 00:01:33.12\00:01:36.59 would be shaped or developed. Hmm. Okay 00:01:36.62\00:01:38.99 Even in adulthood. 00:01:39.03\00:01:40.60 Now, I don't know your ages, but if you're under 29, 00:01:40.63\00:01:44.33 then the shaping is even more pronounced. 00:01:44.37\00:01:48.24 As you get older, the shaping is less, and less, and less 00:01:48.27\00:01:52.11 until you get into your 70s, your 80s, 00:01:52.14\00:01:54.48 and it's not so pronounced. Okay 00:01:54.51\00:01:56.64 But I'm guessing that you guys are around 20s, maybe early 30s, 00:01:56.68\00:02:01.82 so it is something that you would be interested in. 00:02:01.85\00:02:05.39 Yes, definitely. Right? 00:02:05.42\00:02:07.36 Okay, so here's what the research shows... 00:02:07.39\00:02:09.56 The research shows that it actually takes you about 00:02:09.59\00:02:13.33 12 dates to figure out who you are, 00:02:13.36\00:02:17.93 and what you want in a relationship. Okay 00:02:17.97\00:02:20.37 Who you are in that relationship or just who you are at? 00:02:20.40\00:02:23.30 Who you are in the relationship. Twelve days? 00:02:23.34\00:02:25.64 Twelve dates... Dates, oh! Yeah 12 dates... Okay 00:02:25.67\00:02:28.88 And when they say "dates," they actually 00:02:28.91\00:02:31.41 went on to explain what they meant. 00:02:31.48\00:02:32.91 They didn't really actually mean one date, 00:02:32.95\00:02:35.58 like you go to a coffee shop or you go to a restaurant, 00:02:35.62\00:02:38.82 or you go to church... you know, they really meant 00:02:38.85\00:02:41.52 long-term - so like a long-term relationship doesn't have to be 00:02:41.56\00:02:45.76 2 years or 1 year, but a couple of months at least. 00:02:45.79\00:02:49.03 And each of those will qualify for what they call "one date," 00:02:49.06\00:02:52.77 and you need about 12 of those 00:02:52.80\00:02:55.67 before you could figure out exactly what you want 00:02:55.70\00:02:58.14 in someone else. 00:02:58.17\00:03:00.08 But, I don't know if you guys remember what I told you about 00:03:00.11\00:03:03.68 Y- types and blueprints. 00:03:03.71\00:03:06.31 So our resident Y-type here, you would remember. No 00:03:06.82\00:03:11.22 You probably have a good, clear idea of what you want 00:03:11.25\00:03:15.09 in a partner. 00:03:15.12\00:03:16.56 That sounds pretty accurate. 00:03:16.59\00:03:18.76 And most Ys, if she is like most Ys, 00:03:18.79\00:03:21.16 they tend to not veer away from that blueprint, 00:03:21.20\00:03:25.90 and that presents a problem because it's very hard to 00:03:25.93\00:03:28.80 have someone come and allow you to check off every item 00:03:28.84\00:03:32.51 on your 10 item list. 00:03:32.54\00:03:35.14 Yeah, it's one of those things where I'm like, 00:03:35.18\00:03:36.64 "Am I being too picky or is this okay?" Like, you know? 00:03:36.68\00:03:41.35 See, I could help you with that... 00:03:41.38\00:03:42.85 If you're a Y, the answer to that question is "yes." 00:03:42.88\00:03:47.06 You are probably being too picky if you're a Y 00:03:47.09\00:03:49.36 because you tend to be too picky. 00:03:49.39\00:03:52.13 And, for our X men here on the left... 00:03:52.16\00:03:55.76 Oh, the X men with secret powers? Yeah! 00:03:55.80\00:03:58.33 I know the answer for them too, 00:03:59.33\00:04:00.67 they probably are not picky enough. 00:04:00.70\00:04:03.14 You guys probably need to be more selective, 00:04:03.17\00:04:05.51 and I know it doesn't seem to make sense... 00:04:05.54\00:04:07.58 It's such a struggle to find a quality mate today 00:04:07.61\00:04:10.91 that for somebody to say, "Get picky or get more selective," 00:04:10.95\00:04:15.15 it's almost like telling you, "Okay, well when are you 00:04:15.18\00:04:17.82 going to have your next date, 00:04:17.85\00:04:19.19 when would you ever hope to be married?" 00:04:19.22\00:04:20.92 But it's true, it's actually what you need to do... 00:04:20.96\00:04:24.23 you actually need to be more specific and more particular. 00:04:24.26\00:04:27.23 I'm very particular, actually, so... 00:04:27.26\00:04:28.90 You're very particular... that's excellent! 00:04:28.93\00:04:30.37 And you need to keep it that way. 00:04:30.40\00:04:31.73 That you Dr. Jacob. Okay 00:04:31.77\00:04:33.10 So, 12 first dates, but here's the problem... 00:04:33.13\00:04:35.97 The same scientists that did this research, 00:04:36.00\00:04:37.91 They said, "Yeah, we want people to go out and date 00:04:37.94\00:04:40.98 at least 12 times - so that they could find out 00:04:41.01\00:04:43.21 what they want in a mate, but we need to caution them." 00:04:43.24\00:04:46.31 One bad date, one date that goes wrong, horribly wrong, 00:04:46.35\00:04:51.95 where you feel traumatized, they say it's enough 00:04:51.99\00:04:54.92 to change your brain to such an extent 00:04:54.96\00:04:57.79 that it affects your dating for years to come. Wow! 00:04:57.83\00:05:02.76 I mean it makes sense, it's like when you 00:05:02.80\00:05:04.40 touch something very, very hot, you burn yourself. 00:05:04.43\00:05:07.07 It's a very strong experience and you don't want to 00:05:08.07\00:05:10.37 repeat that painful experience again. Exactly 00:05:10.41\00:05:13.01 So Y-types who experience that one bad date, 00:05:13.04\00:05:16.41 sometimes 5 years later, they still are not back 00:05:16.44\00:05:20.25 in the dating pool. Okay 00:05:20.28\00:05:21.88 Y- types - Y-types have a very difficult time. 00:05:21.92\00:05:24.62 As you see there, it says how Xs and Ys handle the past. 00:05:24.65\00:05:28.22 Y- types don't handle the past very easily. 00:05:28.26\00:05:31.49 Why? Because oxytocin is required for forgiveness. 00:05:31.53\00:05:36.63 They don't have too much of it. 00:05:36.67\00:05:38.03 If you have a lot of oxytocin, you would find it 00:05:38.07\00:05:40.17 easier to forgive and forget. 00:05:40.20\00:05:41.54 Y- types tend not to have as X- types, 00:05:41.57\00:05:44.27 so the past kind of remains the present. 00:05:44.31\00:05:47.74 So what if you're like, since I am both Y and X, 00:05:47.78\00:05:50.88 like Y on the communication and X on the intimacy side 00:05:50.91\00:05:54.58 or the emotional connection, would that help temper it? 00:05:54.62\00:05:59.25 That helps a lot because it means that 00:05:59.29\00:06:01.79 emotionally you still want someone to 00:06:01.82\00:06:04.23 bond with emotionally, so you will get over 00:06:04.29\00:06:07.00 your hurts and feelings faster 00:06:07.03\00:06:09.23 than if it were the other way around where you were 00:06:09.26\00:06:11.23 emotionally a Y-type, not needing people, 00:06:11.27\00:06:13.84 not needing - you know what I'm saying? Um hm 00:06:13.87\00:06:15.60 So yeah, being a Y-X, I think that helps you. 00:06:15.64\00:06:18.47 That makes sense with my own experience, yes. 00:06:18.51\00:06:21.21 It kind of jives with what you know? 00:06:21.24\00:06:22.74 Okay, but so X-types, you guys generally tend to 00:06:22.78\00:06:28.02 get back in the saddle too fast. 00:06:28.05\00:06:30.75 It's like falling off a horse and getting right back on? 00:06:30.79\00:06:32.95 Just like you're getting back on the same horse. 00:06:32.99\00:06:35.16 Okay same? Yeah! 00:06:35.19\00:06:37.03 Xs do that a lot, Xs tend to go back 00:06:37.06\00:06:39.33 to the same person a lot. 00:06:39.36\00:06:41.26 Why? Again, the answer is hormones - oxytocin 00:06:41.30\00:06:44.77 They've bonded to that person, so even when they fall off 00:06:44.80\00:06:47.67 the horse, they're going back to the same person 00:06:47.70\00:06:49.47 because they're still attached. 00:06:49.50\00:06:51.34 So it works with the horses, don't do this with people. 00:06:51.37\00:06:54.91 Exactly! Exactly! Laughter. Do not do this with people. 00:06:54.94\00:06:57.35 Whatever caused you guys to go your separate ways 00:06:57.38\00:06:59.85 the first time, probably still exists, you know, 00:06:59.88\00:07:03.85 and you're going back because of 00:07:03.89\00:07:05.65 how you feel... You're going back because of 00:07:05.69\00:07:07.12 how the hormones make you feel, not because that person changed. 00:07:07.16\00:07:11.09 Not because the situation changed, 00:07:11.13\00:07:12.73 and as X-types, even if the person said, 00:07:12.76\00:07:14.96 "You know I'm like that anymore, I swear, 00:07:15.00\00:07:17.30 I've changed completely." 00:07:17.33\00:07:19.10 You want to believe because oxytocin produces trust 00:07:19.13\00:07:24.11 and produces - well trust to the extent of gullibility. Fault 00:07:25.11\00:07:28.58 Yeah to a fault, where you would like... 00:07:28.61\00:07:30.58 you want to believe, so you jump right back in 00:07:30.61\00:07:33.25 helped by oxytocin only to find out that 00:07:33.28\00:07:35.92 nothing has changed. 00:07:35.95\00:07:37.52 And here's the other thing, oxytocin is glue! 00:07:37.55\00:07:40.52 So you jump back in to find out that nothing has changed, 00:07:40.56\00:07:43.16 and now you're unable to leave because now you're stuck again. 00:07:43.19\00:07:47.33 So just to give you an idea of what it's like, you know, 00:07:47.36\00:07:50.63 the differences between how you guys date and the consequences. 00:07:50.67\00:07:54.87 So back to the 12 first dates, so the one bad date, 00:07:54.90\00:07:58.24 the problem is it changes your brain, changes the neurons, 00:07:58.27\00:08:02.58 changes the wiring in your brain to such an extent that 00:08:02.61\00:08:05.85 you may not want to venture back quickly enough, 00:08:05.88\00:08:09.92 and what do you think is likely to happen? 00:08:09.95\00:08:11.69 During that time when you're taking your 3, 4, 5 years 00:08:11.72\00:08:15.12 to heal, you miss the very person that was intended 00:08:15.16\00:08:20.43 for you in the first place. 00:08:20.46\00:08:22.36 That's horrible, why? Yeah, exactly. 00:08:22.40\00:08:26.74 But there's something else, not only does it cause you to 00:08:26.77\00:08:31.21 take too long to jump back in the dating pool, 00:08:31.24\00:08:33.78 but it also alters your judgment, 00:08:33.81\00:08:37.15 so that when you get back there, your judgment 00:08:37.18\00:08:40.35 is not the same as it was before. 00:08:40.38\00:08:42.52 So you're almost like judging against them 00:08:42.55\00:08:44.42 without any reason for that. Exactly 00:08:44.45\00:08:47.89 So if you dated someone like this good-looking, 00:08:47.92\00:08:51.23 young man here - Sean, you're 6 feet 2- Thank you sir... 00:08:51.26\00:08:55.86 tall guy, ladies love tall guys, but if Sean traumatized you, 00:08:55.90\00:09:02.60 the next time you saw someone that was 6' 2, what happens? 00:09:02.64\00:09:05.67 Laughter. Your brain - it's like a 00:09:05.71\00:09:08.48 post-traumatic stress disorder. 00:09:08.51\00:09:10.01 Your brain tells you - "He's 6' 2, remember 6' 2? 00:09:10.05\00:09:13.42 You need to run, you need to stay away! 00:09:13.45\00:09:15.78 Now this 6' 2 is a good man, Christian young man and 00:09:15.82\00:09:20.26 he has all good intentions and maybe this is the man for you, 00:09:20.29\00:09:23.09 this is the one for you. Right 00:09:23.12\00:09:24.46 But your brain won't allow it because your brain is 00:09:24.49\00:09:27.33 trying to protect you from the pain and protect 00:09:27.36\00:09:29.66 you from the hurt. Makes sense. 00:09:29.70\00:09:31.03 You know, I have an example of that. 00:09:31.07\00:09:33.13 It wasn't a relationship or anything like that, 00:09:33.17\00:09:37.44 but I saw someone who looked like someone else, 00:09:37.47\00:09:42.58 who had done something that wasn't right and that other 00:09:42.61\00:09:48.15 person was the one I had previously had a lot of 00:09:48.18\00:09:50.52 respect for and appreciated her, but then this other person 00:09:50.55\00:09:55.32 you know, styled her hair like this other person. 00:09:55.36\00:09:57.59 I was like, "Why do I just seem to have this dislike for her, 00:09:57.63\00:10:01.13 I don't dislike anybody. 00:10:01.16\00:10:02.53 And then she changed her hairstyle, the next day 00:10:02.56\00:10:05.03 was like - "Oh, she looks like so and so, I was like 00:10:05.07\00:10:08.80 oh, okay now that makes sense." 00:10:08.84\00:10:11.87 That's the power of the brain. 00:10:12.74\00:10:14.08 So between the brain and the hormones, 00:10:14.11\00:10:17.21 it could be scary out there, but that's what we're here for 00:10:17.25\00:10:21.12 to guide you guys through all of this so that you 00:10:21.15\00:10:23.28 don't have to be worried about this. 00:10:23.32\00:10:25.09 You know what a lot of people 00:10:25.12\00:10:26.62 don't know... So what does this say? 00:10:26.65\00:10:28.46 This says that you have to be really 00:10:28.49\00:10:29.99 careful when you're dating. 00:10:30.03\00:10:31.63 I'm sure, by now, you guys have concluded that, right? Um hm 00:10:31.66\00:10:35.16 Yes, you're picky, you have to be very selective. 00:10:35.20\00:10:38.23 You have to do your homework, you have to do your research. 00:10:38.27\00:10:41.64 You have to find out what kind of a family 00:10:41.67\00:10:44.57 this person is coming from. 00:10:44.61\00:10:45.94 You know, find out a little bit about the person. 00:10:45.97\00:10:48.04 I'm not saying you should go to the extreme 00:10:48.08\00:10:50.41 that some people have gone to, like hiring a private eye. 00:10:50.45\00:10:52.91 I've heard people doing that, right? 00:10:52.95\00:10:55.58 Even without any reasons? Exactly 00:10:55.62\00:10:57.95 And then the internet now allows us to do all kinds of 00:10:57.99\00:11:00.26 background searches for very little, very little money, 00:11:00.29\00:11:03.66 and you could find out all kinds of things about people 00:11:03.69\00:11:06.09 I'm not saying that you need to go that far, 00:11:06.13\00:11:07.70 but I'm saying you should at least 00:11:07.73\00:11:09.06 know where the brother lives. 00:11:09.10\00:11:10.43 You should at least meet somebody in his family, 00:11:10.47\00:11:11.93 and his friends. I have a quick question... 00:11:11.97\00:11:14.97 So, personally myself, I have not been in a serious 00:11:15.04\00:11:19.14 relationship and I'm past my 20s. 00:11:19.17\00:11:24.21 Do you think by me not being in a serious relationship 00:11:24.25\00:11:27.95 can hurt or help when I do get in one? 00:11:27.98\00:11:33.72 I guess I should throw the question back... 00:11:33.76\00:11:37.13 If it were to hurt you, how would it? 00:11:37.16\00:11:39.13 How do you think it might hurt you? 00:11:39.16\00:11:40.50 Because I haven't had past experience in other 00:11:40.53\00:11:44.30 relationships, so I might not know what to look for 00:11:44.33\00:11:47.37 or certain things, how to cohabitate with that person 00:11:47.40\00:11:50.54 or something like that, I'm not quite sure. 00:11:50.57\00:11:51.94 Just lack of experience. 00:11:51.97\00:11:54.14 Yeah, you always ask the good questions. 00:11:54.18\00:11:56.85 You always ask really good questions. Thank you! 00:11:56.88\00:11:58.85 That's an excellent question. 00:11:58.88\00:12:00.22 As a matter-of-fact, when I first read the research 00:12:00.25\00:12:02.72 about the 12 dates, I thought to myself, "Well that's horrible." 00:12:02.75\00:12:05.92 I mean that's horrible, so this is Russian roulette. 00:12:05.95\00:12:08.92 I am going to date and date and date and hope 00:12:08.96\00:12:13.29 that I don't get traumatized before #12. 00:12:13.33\00:12:17.10 Because if I get traumatized now, I'm going to go 00:12:17.13\00:12:19.03 years and years and years before I could have good 00:12:19.07\00:12:21.87 judgment to choose somebody else," and I thought about that. 00:12:21.90\00:12:24.74 This is what's part of the reason, 00:12:24.77\00:12:26.41 part of what prompted me to work to create this 00:12:26.44\00:12:29.84 test because without you having experience, 00:12:29.88\00:12:33.72 what does the test do? 00:12:33.75\00:12:35.08 The test naturally tells you who you are. 00:12:35.12\00:12:37.59 It tells you what you need. 00:12:37.62\00:12:40.06 So then you don't have all that trauma to weigh you down 00:12:40.46\00:12:43.46 when you do go into a relationship. Exactly 00:12:43.49\00:12:44.83 You don't have to go through the trauma. 00:12:44.86\00:12:46.19 The trauma comes about because people get mismatched. 00:12:46.23\00:12:48.16 If you don't know who you are, and you don't know what your 00:12:48.20\00:12:50.57 personality type is, you'll find yourself with someone 00:12:50.60\00:12:52.97 that is the exact opposite because we've already said 00:12:53.00\00:12:55.20 opposites attract or opposites are attractive but not adhesive. 00:12:55.24\00:13:00.64 So you'll find yourself with someone that is completely 00:13:00.68\00:13:04.25 opposite of what you need. 00:13:04.28\00:13:05.85 Now you guys will still fall in love and you guys will 00:13:05.88\00:13:08.58 still love each other and oxytocin will flow 00:13:08.62\00:13:10.69 and it will still bond you, but you can't remain 00:13:10.72\00:13:13.32 bonded because you guys are too dissimilar. 00:13:13.36\00:13:16.39 So somebody breaks it off and you are left with a 00:13:16.42\00:13:20.90 broken heart. 00:13:20.93\00:13:22.26 Now the test is not a magic formula. 00:13:22.30\00:13:25.57 It doesn't prevent that from happening. 00:13:25.60\00:13:28.07 Just a guide to help you along. Exactly 00:13:28.10\00:13:30.51 But it reduces the likelihood that it will happen because it 00:13:30.54\00:13:34.44 allows you instead of playing again, gambling 1 in 4. 00:13:34.48\00:13:38.55 I have a 1 in 4 chance of meeting somebody 00:13:38.58\00:13:40.22 who is like me - now you don't need the 1 in 4 chance. 00:13:40.25\00:13:43.75 You could meet somebody who is exactly like you because 00:13:43.79\00:13:45.55 the test will do that for you and then all the other things 00:13:45.59\00:13:50.16 that we've shared with you allows you to do the background 00:13:50.19\00:13:53.26 checks that you need to do to not have to worry about it. 00:13:53.29\00:13:56.73 So I actually think that you are in an 00:13:56.77\00:13:58.10 advantageous position. All right! 00:13:58.13\00:14:00.00 Because you're not... yeah. 00:14:00.04\00:14:02.37 Call me up! Laughter Okay ladies, you heard that. 00:14:02.40\00:14:06.07 You're not damaged. No. 00:14:06.11\00:14:09.58 You didn't go through anything traumatic. 00:14:09.61\00:14:11.45 You're just sitting there waiting for the right person 00:14:11.48\00:14:14.15 to come and I really believe it's going to happen. 00:14:14.18\00:14:16.35 Thank you! You're very welcome. 00:14:16.38\00:14:19.29 So I wanted to thank you guys again for participating 00:14:19.32\00:14:22.22 and for, you know, sharing your thoughts, 00:14:22.26\00:14:23.99 and I'll see you next time. 00:14:24.03\00:14:28.30 Hello and welcome back to "Road to Romance" 00:14:32.40\00:14:35.14 We are joined again by Vania and Jeremiah. 00:14:35.17\00:14:37.74 Welcome! Thank you. Good to be back. 00:14:37.77\00:14:39.64 So today, we're talking about the effect that your 00:14:39.67\00:14:42.61 past experiences have on your relationship. 00:14:42.64\00:14:46.98 There's a lot of research coming out now from country after 00:14:47.02\00:14:51.95 country showing us that your past experiences actually 00:14:51.99\00:14:55.92 affect your current experiences, your relationship, 00:14:55.96\00:15:00.66 and even unborn Jeremiah, Jr. Thank you sir. 00:15:00.70\00:15:06.43 Yeah, really. So let's begin... 00:15:06.47\00:15:09.37 Basically, what they're finding is that when you have an 00:15:09.40\00:15:13.38 experience, it changes your brain. 00:15:13.41\00:15:15.94 So if you continue to have good experiences, 00:15:15.98\00:15:19.41 that, too, leaves an imprint on your brain, 00:15:19.45\00:15:21.45 but if you have traumatic experiences, 00:15:21.48\00:15:23.65 that also affects your neurons, but in a different way. Okay? 00:15:23.69\00:15:27.72 And when your neurons are changed, 00:15:27.76\00:15:30.36 it affects your judgment and it affects 00:15:30.39\00:15:32.36 the decisions that you make. 00:15:32.39\00:15:34.36 So you guys had a lot of experiences before 00:15:34.40\00:15:37.03 marriage, yeah? Um hum 00:15:37.07\00:15:38.73 Good, some good, maybe some not so good, 00:15:38.77\00:15:42.00 and then you got together, holy matrimony 00:15:42.04\00:15:44.57 and you're now one. 00:15:44.61\00:15:46.31 But those experiences are never forgotten; in fact, 00:15:46.34\00:15:50.01 they're so long-lasting and so effective, 00:15:50.05\00:15:53.68 that when you have the experience, your neurons change 00:15:53.72\00:15:56.75 very, very quickly and they change so that they could 00:15:56.79\00:15:59.72 store the memory. 00:15:59.75\00:16:01.16 Now that stored memory affects how you think, how you act, 00:16:01.19\00:16:05.86 and some of the choices that you make. 00:16:05.89\00:16:08.03 It's just like a computer - your brain is. 00:16:08.06\00:16:10.23 So you're about to make a decision and your brain 00:16:10.27\00:16:13.44 will go and look through the files of what has happened 00:16:13.47\00:16:17.04 to you - to tell you whether or not this is a good thing to do. 00:16:17.07\00:16:21.31 It's the reason why a lot of husbands find themselves 00:16:21.34\00:16:24.08 treating their wives in a certain way and looking back 00:16:24.11\00:16:26.88 and thinking, "That could not possibly be me... 00:16:26.92\00:16:29.45 you know that's not me, that sounds like my father." 00:16:29.48\00:16:32.32 "I don't do that." Right 00:16:32.35\00:16:34.29 So what you mean is... you don't do that consciously, 00:16:34.32\00:16:37.43 but your brain has the files from what your brain 00:16:37.46\00:16:41.20 saw your father do 15, 10, 5 years ago. Okay? 00:16:41.23\00:16:46.84 Now I want to point out something that is 00:16:46.87\00:16:49.27 really exciting... 00:16:49.30\00:16:50.64 In about 2005, probably a little before that, 00:16:50.67\00:16:54.84 some scientists discovered something remarkable. 00:16:54.88\00:16:58.41 So they were studying mice where, you know, 00:16:58.45\00:17:00.95 all experiments usually begin. With mice! 00:17:00.98\00:17:03.42 And they found that mice, if they were exposed to a 00:17:03.45\00:17:08.42 traumatic event, which for the mice, was something like 00:17:08.46\00:17:11.96 stealing their cheese or putting them in a maze that was 00:17:11.99\00:17:17.53 scary and they actually did that. 00:17:17.57\00:17:18.90 They put them in a maze and they scared them, 00:17:18.93\00:17:21.64 and so this was a traumatic event for the mouse. 00:17:21.67\00:17:23.94 And so what they did is... 00:17:23.97\00:17:25.54 They decided to breed that mouse and the offspring... 00:17:25.57\00:17:30.58 They put their offspring in the same box, in the same container. 00:17:30.61\00:17:33.48 Now remember, the offspring did not have the scare, 00:17:33.52\00:17:35.65 but when they brought the same scare, the offspring jumped 00:17:35.68\00:17:41.56 like the parents did. 00:17:41.59\00:17:43.63 And then they realized, "Wait a minute, that isn't possible, 00:17:43.66\00:17:46.09 this mouse could not possibly know 00:17:46.13\00:17:48.03 what his father experienced." 00:17:48.06\00:17:50.17 So they checked the DNA and they found that there was a 00:17:50.23\00:17:54.80 tag - kind of like that ribbon in your hair, 00:17:54.84\00:17:58.87 a tag hanging off - not looking that pretty though, 00:17:58.91\00:18:01.81 just hanging off of the DNA. 00:18:01.84\00:18:04.88 And the tag was a tag with the memory of what the father had 00:18:04.91\00:18:10.05 experienced and the father passed it on down through 00:18:10.09\00:18:14.46 his sperm, so the son who never had the experience 00:18:14.49\00:18:18.33 because the father is now dead and gone and obviously 00:18:18.36\00:18:20.40 the father didn't communicate this, 00:18:20.43\00:18:21.80 it is as if he experienced it himself. 00:18:21.83\00:18:25.73 Now that is called, "epigenetics." 00:18:25.77\00:18:28.80 Now genetics is as old as you. 00:18:28.84\00:18:32.77 I mean, we all know that you can pass traits 00:18:32.81\00:18:36.88 down from father to son, blue eyes, blue eyes, 00:18:36.91\00:18:40.18 you know, straight hair, straight hair, whatever. 00:18:40.22\00:18:41.95 We know we can pass some of the traits down, 00:18:41.98\00:18:43.42 but what we did not know is... 00:18:43.45\00:18:44.92 We can also pass down experiences. Right? 00:18:44.95\00:18:49.72 So, they thought, "I wonder how far this goes?" 00:18:49.76\00:18:53.13 They bred that mouse again and the same thing happened. 00:18:53.16\00:19:00.50 And they noticed that the experiences went all the way 00:19:00.54\00:19:04.51 down to the third or fourth generation. Wow. Yeah! 00:19:04.54\00:19:10.85 Now these are scientists, they're not 00:19:10.88\00:19:14.48 Christians necessarily, maybe some are, 00:19:14.52\00:19:16.79 but the majority of them are evolutionists and they won't 00:19:16.82\00:19:20.16 make the connection that you and I could make 00:19:20.19\00:19:23.16 about what's happening with this third and fourth generation 00:19:23.19\00:19:26.33 because we already know what we were told 00:19:26.36\00:19:28.13 about the third and fourth generation. 00:19:28.16\00:19:30.97 What we didn't know until this century is 00:19:31.00\00:19:33.77 that the experiences can actually alter your DNA. 00:19:33.80\00:19:38.51 Now what does that mean for your experience, 00:19:38.54\00:19:40.68 and I'm not trying to scare you, 00:19:40.71\00:19:42.18 but what does this mean for your experience? 00:19:42.21\00:19:45.58 We have a lot of parents who have turned a new 00:19:45.61\00:19:48.85 leaf, they're living pretty much a converted life, 00:19:48.88\00:19:52.05 and they're doing everything right as far as they know, 00:19:52.09\00:19:55.56 as best as they could and then they have the kids 00:19:55.59\00:19:59.73 Jeremiah Jr. and whatever you decide you're going to name 00:19:59.76\00:20:03.20 the little girl if you have one, and then they see the children 00:20:03.23\00:20:06.77 acting in a way that they never acted. 00:20:06.80\00:20:11.07 Or, doing some things that the children 00:20:11.11\00:20:14.18 were not seeing their parents do. 00:20:14.21\00:20:16.21 So, for instance, let's suppose you had a couple of children 00:20:16.24\00:20:19.38 and they grew up and they were teenagers. 00:20:19.41\00:20:20.98 From the time they were born, you know that you had 00:20:21.02\00:20:24.62 set a good example of how they should behave morally, right? 00:20:24.65\00:20:30.43 Yet still, they go out and they make the worse choices, 00:20:30.46\00:20:35.16 and so you're asking yourself, "What are we doing wrong? 00:20:35.20\00:20:39.90 They've seen nothing from us 00:20:39.93\00:20:42.14 that would lead them to do that." 00:20:42.17\00:20:44.27 But here is how epigenetics works... 00:20:44.31\00:20:46.37 A lot of us would go to college, you know, we're in our 20s 00:20:46.41\00:20:51.58 and we're not careful about how we live, 00:20:51.61\00:20:54.98 where we go, what we do. 00:20:55.02\00:20:57.25 And all of those experiences that we have, some men go 00:20:57.29\00:21:02.32 and during that time, they sow their wild oats 00:21:02.36\00:21:04.03 and they're like, "You know, I'm just going to have a 00:21:04.06\00:21:05.39 good old time until I'm ready to settle down." Wow 00:21:05.43\00:21:07.46 Not realizing that that "good old time" 00:21:07.50\00:21:10.53 was tagging their DNA every single time, 00:21:10.57\00:21:14.87 and that tagged DNA was passed down after they decided to 00:21:14.90\00:21:21.71 settle down and fly right and do the right thing. 00:21:21.74\00:21:25.85 And is there anything you can do to remove or delete 00:21:25.88\00:21:29.32 the tags? 00:21:29.35\00:21:30.89 Yes! Yes! That's a good question. 00:21:30.92\00:21:33.99 There is a lot that you could do - doing the opposite. 00:21:34.02\00:21:40.03 If you were worried about your own tags, 00:21:40.06\00:21:41.50 you could do the opposite of what you did 00:21:41.53\00:21:43.60 and try to counteract it that way. 00:21:43.63\00:21:47.17 A lot of teaching, compensating. 00:21:47.20\00:21:50.14 If you know what you did then for instance, 00:21:50.17\00:21:52.37 let's suppose you knew that you weren't very careful 00:21:52.41\00:21:54.21 when you were out there and you had, let's say one partner 00:21:54.24\00:21:56.88 too many - now you have children. 00:21:56.91\00:21:58.68 You don't have to tell them about what you did 00:21:58.71\00:22:00.58 because that too can tag them. 00:22:00.62\00:22:03.35 But you could tell them the dangers of living any way 00:22:03.39\00:22:08.96 that they want to instead of being careful. 00:22:08.99\00:22:11.13 You know, you could tell them ahead of time, 00:22:11.16\00:22:13.40 and you could tell them about epigenetics and just say, 00:22:13.43\00:22:16.26 "Hey, this is what's good, I know you're thinking right 00:22:16.30\00:22:17.90 now that you're young and you could do whatever 00:22:17.93\00:22:19.50 you want, but the memories of what you're doing 00:22:19.53\00:22:23.00 will not leave your body; they will not leave your brain, 00:22:23.04\00:22:25.84 they will not leave your genes. 00:22:25.87\00:22:27.64 They will tag your DNA" and the knowledge, 00:22:27.68\00:22:30.65 that knowledge, hopefully, will help them, 00:22:30.68\00:22:32.48 you know what I'm saying, to make the right decision. 00:22:32.51\00:22:34.38 I'm actually glad that you said that and there is a science 00:22:34.42\00:22:38.35 to back it up, like, you know, a lot of times if you just 00:22:38.39\00:22:41.46 simply tell someone what they should not do, 00:22:41.49\00:22:44.79 they're going to think, you know, it's going to look 00:22:44.83\00:22:46.36 like you're saying, "Do as I say, not do as I do," 00:22:46.39\00:22:49.63 kind of thing, so you're trying to rob them of the fun 00:22:49.66\00:22:52.33 that they could have, but it's the science behind it, 00:22:52.37\00:22:55.10 and it speaks for itself. 00:22:55.14\00:22:56.47 Yes, this is very different and you're right. 00:22:56.50\00:22:57.94 This is the first thing that young people think... 00:22:57.97\00:22:59.77 "Oh, you had your time, but this is mine, you're only 00:22:59.81\00:23:02.28 saying that now because you're married and you have 00:23:02.31\00:23:04.75 no choice." Right? 00:23:04.78\00:23:06.38 But you're correct... If you show them the science, 00:23:07.08\00:23:09.48 and you say, "Hey no, you're hurting yourself, 00:23:09.52\00:23:11.12 because at some point, this is going to become very, 00:23:11.15\00:23:13.15 very important to you and at that point, 00:23:13.19\00:23:15.86 it will matter to you, but you wouldn't be able to 00:23:15.89\00:23:17.49 do anything about it." Correct 00:23:17.53\00:23:18.93 So you're right, the science 00:23:18.96\00:23:20.30 makes all the difference in the world. 00:23:20.33\00:23:21.70 I have to let you know that this is not just about 00:23:21.76\00:23:24.60 infidelity or that sort of thing, it's also about things 00:23:24.63\00:23:30.87 like "health!" 00:23:30.91\00:23:32.31 They found that people can tag themselves. Yeah 00:23:32.34\00:23:35.41 During a certain period of your life, 00:23:36.18\00:23:37.85 you weren't careful about what you eat and what you drink... 00:23:37.88\00:23:42.18 Everything that you eat and drink tags your DNA 00:23:42.22\00:23:45.99 and it's like a register that keeps a memory of what you did. 00:23:46.02\00:23:49.82 So then you have your children and you're trying to have 00:23:49.86\00:23:52.29 your children to live a healthy life, 00:23:52.33\00:23:53.96 but you went through a period of time when you did not, 00:23:54.00\00:23:57.37 and so when you tell them, "No, I don't want 00:23:57.40\00:23:59.13 you to eat this because it's not good for you... 00:23:59.17\00:24:00.84 bla, bla, bla, bla, bla. They're like, "No, 00:24:00.87\00:24:02.77 this feels good to me, I'm going to do this." 00:24:02.80\00:24:05.04 And you're confused, "Why is this happening?" 00:24:05.07\00:24:07.28 They found the same thing with cancer. 00:24:07.34\00:24:09.21 They've now understood that cancer can skip generations, 00:24:09.24\00:24:12.28 so it will skip one generation and go to the third one down, 00:24:12.31\00:24:17.22 but it's going because of a tag. Wow 00:24:17.25\00:24:20.06 Now, I have to tell you guys that epigenetic tags... 00:24:20.09\00:24:22.56 it's like a switch - it works on and off. 00:24:22.59\00:24:27.36 On and off, so no middle. 00:24:27.40\00:24:29.06 So, for instance, if you had an abusive childhood, 00:24:29.10\00:24:31.87 you find that one or two things will happen... 00:24:31.90\00:24:35.44 You're either afraid to get married, 00:24:35.47\00:24:37.34 or you get married very, very, very quickly and carelessly. 00:24:37.37\00:24:43.14 There is no in-between, you know. 00:24:43.18\00:24:45.35 And so this has so many implications when you consider 00:24:45.38\00:24:49.42 what happened in the Bible. 00:24:49.45\00:24:50.99 Adam and Eve were the first pair to be tagged 00:24:51.02\00:24:53.89 because of sin and I know Adam and Eve were very, very, 00:24:53.92\00:24:58.86 very surprised when Cain... remember they expected 00:24:58.89\00:25:01.23 Cain to be the Messiah, they really did! 00:25:01.26\00:25:04.60 They did everything right because they had made a mistake, 00:25:04.63\00:25:07.04 and they raised Cain quite spiritually, 00:25:07.07\00:25:09.87 and then they had Able and they were shocked when Cain 00:25:09.90\00:25:13.48 turned out to be the first murderer because 00:25:13.51\00:25:15.34 they were thinking, "Where did he get this from?" Exactly 00:25:15.38\00:25:18.05 But, they were tagged when they disobeyed, 00:25:18.08\00:25:20.25 and they passed on that tag gene. 00:25:20.28\00:25:22.15 No matter what they taught Cain, they passed on that tag gene 00:25:22.18\00:25:25.22 to Cain and the science is also showing that you cannot 00:25:25.25\00:25:29.56 know which child will be tagged and which child will not. Wow 00:25:29.59\00:25:32.29 So it was just a gamble, it just so happened it was Cain. 00:25:33.50\00:25:37.47 It could have very well been Able. Right 00:25:37.50\00:25:39.83 But like generally speaking, like children will be 00:25:39.87\00:25:43.87 tagged... you just don't know how they will be tagged. 00:25:43.91\00:25:47.18 Well, you could tag them positively. 00:25:47.21\00:25:48.58 You could give them positive experiences. 00:25:48.61\00:25:50.38 Yeah, that's what I mean. Yeah 00:25:50.41\00:25:51.75 They will be tagged regardless. Yeah 00:25:51.78\00:25:53.52 Everybody will be tagged, but you want to be tagged 00:25:53.55\00:25:55.58 in a positive way, in a way that is helpful 00:25:55.62\00:25:57.69 to you, you know? 00:25:57.72\00:25:59.32 And so, if you know you're going to be tagged, 00:25:59.35\00:26:01.36 why not choose how it's going to happen? Exactly 00:26:01.39\00:26:05.06 I mean, we know this now and this is very, very helpful. 00:26:05.43\00:26:08.13 I mean it helps me thinking about what I'm going to eat 00:26:08.16\00:26:12.53 because what I'm going to eat is going to affect my child 00:26:12.57\00:26:15.34 in some very genetic direct ways and I don't have 00:26:15.37\00:26:19.31 to wait until I'm pregnant... well I can't be pregnant can I? 00:26:19.34\00:26:22.54 YOU don't have to wait until you're pregnant. 00:26:22.58\00:26:25.05 It's funny because my dad is very passionate about 00:26:25.08\00:26:27.85 nutrition and he changed his lifestyle, I think like 00:26:27.88\00:26:33.36 40-something years ago and has been very consistent 00:26:33.39\00:26:36.69 also with us and it's funny because me and my sisters, 00:26:36.73\00:26:40.40 even my brother, it's like we have this thing in us 00:26:40.43\00:26:44.23 like you can't leave it, you know? Yeah 00:26:44.27\00:26:47.70 Like you're aware of that and it's like you want it, you know. 00:26:47.74\00:26:52.67 And it's a positive tag to you. 00:26:52.71\00:26:55.31 I also believe that XY Theory exists because of tagging. 00:26:55.34\00:26:59.98 I mean, look at what happened to Adam... 00:27:00.02\00:27:01.35 Remember, Adam was sent outside, he was supposed to be with 00:27:01.38\00:27:03.69 his wife at his side. 00:27:03.72\00:27:05.72 He was sent outside to toil in solitude, fishing, farming, 00:27:05.75\00:27:13.09 all the things that you don't require any conversation for. 00:27:13.13\00:27:15.90 Right? Which is the majority of men today, 00:27:15.93\00:27:19.47 still Y-type, not much talking, not much, you know, 00:27:19.50\00:27:23.61 touchy-feely stuff. 00:27:23.64\00:27:24.97 Eve was given the job of raising the kids touchy-feely, 00:27:25.01\00:27:29.64 talking all the time. 00:27:29.68\00:27:31.05 So now, the majority of women are X-types, 00:27:31.08\00:27:33.48 and the majority of men are Y-types. 00:27:33.52\00:27:36.08 So I am convinced that even the Bible supports 00:27:36.12\00:27:38.92 the theory and supports the fact that we have to 00:27:38.95\00:27:41.49 be so very careful now that we're finding out 00:27:41.52\00:27:44.83 all of this information. 00:27:44.86\00:27:47.13 So, I'm not even worried about Jeremiah, Jr. 00:27:47.16\00:27:52.40 He's going to be fine and you are going to be fine. 00:27:52.43\00:27:55.30 We are thankful! Exactly! 00:27:55.34\00:27:57.17 So I just want to thank you for joining us 00:27:57.21\00:27:58.97 and I'll see you next time. Thank you 00:27:59.01\00:28:00.74