What's wrong with you, Lauren?
00:00:02.93\00:00:04.27
Nothing. Something's wrong.
00:00:04.30\00:00:06.23
How about you get over
here, we can talk about it?
00:00:06.27\00:00:09.00
Dad didn't call to
wish me happy birthday.
00:00:09.04\00:00:11.97
He hasn't called
for two whole weeks.
00:00:12.01\00:00:14.14
I hate when he starts calling
and then he ends up stopping.
00:00:14.18\00:00:17.78
Your dad's in jail.
00:00:17.81\00:00:19.15
He is not going to
call you every day.
00:00:19.18\00:00:20.52
Snap out of this mess.
00:00:20.55\00:00:22.08
I know that but he can
at least call once a week.
00:00:22.12\00:00:24.82
When he calls and I'm
not here, he gets mad.
00:00:24.85\00:00:27.32
Then I wait around
for him to call back
00:00:27.36\00:00:28.89
and he doesn't
call for two weeks.
00:00:28.92\00:00:31.06
It's bad enough that
I have to worry about
00:00:31.09\00:00:32.79
taking care of
you all by myself.
00:00:32.83\00:00:35.00
I do not want to
hear you complaining about
00:00:35.03\00:00:36.83
your father
calling or not calling you.
00:00:36.87\00:00:39.93
This is him now.
00:00:39.97\00:00:42.40
Hello.
00:00:42.44\00:00:44.04
Yes, I will accept. No.
00:00:44.07\00:00:46.14
What do you want?
00:00:46.17\00:00:47.51
And I am not
sending you any money.
00:00:47.54\00:00:49.18
First, you are the reason I
am in here in the first place.
00:00:49.21\00:00:50.55
I don't want to talk to him.
00:00:50.58\00:00:52.95
Put my daughter
on the phone, woman.
00:00:52.98\00:00:55.18
Hold on.
00:00:55.22\00:00:56.55
I am putting him on speaker.
00:00:56.58\00:00:58.09
Hello.
00:00:58.12\00:00:59.45
Lauren, this your
daddy girl, how you doing?
00:00:59.49\00:01:02.02
Fine.
00:01:02.06\00:01:03.39
You doing good in school,
00:01:03.43\00:01:04.76
you better be
making good grades.
00:01:04.79\00:01:06.59
Why? You don't care.
00:01:06.63\00:01:08.13
You didn't care it's
my birthday last week,
00:01:08.16\00:01:10.37
and you said you would
be home for my birthday.
00:01:10.40\00:01:13.07
All you care
about is your birthday,
00:01:13.10\00:01:14.97
I'll be there for the next one.
00:01:15.00\00:01:16.71
Anyway, you ain't the
only one with a birthday,
00:01:16.74\00:01:19.21
I have a birthday too,
00:01:19.24\00:01:20.58
and I have to spend
and locked up being here
00:01:20.61\00:01:22.24
with Burb and Beebo.
00:01:22.28\00:01:24.71
I am tired of you
calling with foolishness.
00:01:24.75\00:01:26.95
How about this?
00:01:26.98\00:01:28.32
You call and you give
positive attitudes only.
00:01:28.35\00:01:30.69
I don't know why she
wants to talk to you anyway.
00:01:30.72\00:01:33.12
Who you think you
are talking to, woman?
00:01:33.15\00:01:35.32
I will come through
this phone and I will...
00:01:35.36\00:01:36.86
What?
00:01:36.89\00:01:38.23
Hello. Hello...
00:01:38.26\00:01:39.73
Thanks for allowing us to
put the camera in your home
00:02:17.70\00:02:20.17
and we thank your
husband for allowing us
00:02:20.20\00:02:21.77
to take his voice
on the phone call.
00:02:21.80\00:02:24.47
So how's it going
with you guys now?
00:02:24.51\00:02:27.44
Are you still there?
00:02:27.48\00:02:28.81
I'm still here,
don't worry about me.
00:02:28.84\00:02:31.18
Wow!
00:02:31.21\00:02:32.58
So how's it going
now? It's not going good.
00:02:32.61\00:02:34.92
He is always telling her
yes, to everything I say.
00:02:34.95\00:02:37.89
It's not like he
can pay for the stuff
00:02:37.92\00:02:39.52
that he's telling her yes to,
00:02:39.55\00:02:40.96
and then I'm stuck with the bill
00:02:40.99\00:02:42.32
and telling her no.
00:02:42.36\00:02:43.69
She's crying all the
time, she's always disappointed
00:02:43.73\00:02:45.86
because he makes
promises he can't keep.
00:02:45.89\00:02:48.06
Okay, what was the last thing
00:02:48.10\00:02:49.43
he promised
that he would give...
00:02:49.46\00:02:50.80
A phone! A phone.
00:02:50.83\00:02:52.33
She already has a phone,
now she wants a smartphone,
00:02:52.37\00:02:54.54
she can't have a smartphone.
00:02:54.57\00:02:55.90
He is not paying for it
so I'm left with the bill,
00:02:55.94\00:02:58.51
no, she's not getting a phone.
00:02:58.54\00:03:00.04
She can have a phone.
00:03:00.08\00:03:01.41
She is just too
strict on her. Strict?
00:03:01.44\00:03:04.18
What's wrong with
her having the phone?
00:03:04.21\00:03:05.55
And well maybe I'm locked up,
00:03:05.58\00:03:06.92
I got to do something to
let her know I still love her.
00:03:06.95\00:03:09.28
Where is your money?
00:03:09.32\00:03:11.45
You're the
money, you're the money.
00:03:11.49\00:03:12.85
There is the money. No.
00:03:12.89\00:03:14.22
Okay, so...
00:03:14.26\00:03:16.73
It sounds like you guys
00:03:16.76\00:03:18.09
are kind of really
stuck here at this place.
00:03:18.13\00:03:21.63
See I am promising things,
00:03:21.66\00:03:23.43
the phone, that
is a big expense.
00:03:23.47\00:03:25.90
Do you realize
how much phones are?
00:03:25.93\00:03:28.90
She's talking to you.
00:03:28.94\00:03:30.31
You talking to me.
I'm talking to you.
00:03:30.34\00:03:32.24
How am I gonna
know how much phones is,
00:03:32.27\00:03:34.01
I am locked up.
00:03:34.04\00:03:35.38
We have phone
calls for free in here.
00:03:35.41\00:03:37.78
No, you don't get them for free.
00:03:37.81\00:03:39.58
No, I pay for those.
00:03:39.61\00:03:41.38
Okay. Yes.
00:03:41.42\00:03:42.75
So you may not understand
that it is pretty expensive,
00:03:42.78\00:03:46.59
the smartphone
could be a $600 thing.
00:03:46.62\00:03:48.72
So what other kind of
things has he been promising?
00:03:48.76\00:03:53.93
Well, he promises that she
can go places with her friends,
00:03:53.96\00:03:56.93
those are not the
rules in my house.
00:03:56.97\00:03:58.57
He tells her she
can go anywhere anytime,
00:03:58.60\00:04:00.77
it doesn't matter.
00:04:00.80\00:04:02.14
He doesn't know the
people he's telling her to go,
00:04:02.17\00:04:03.94
just go off with.
00:04:03.97\00:04:05.31
But yeah, I'm stuck with
having to always tell her no,
00:04:05.34\00:04:07.68
so I look like the bad guy.
00:04:07.71\00:04:10.11
Look, this
called parenting stuff
00:04:10.15\00:04:11.71
ain't going to work like this.
00:04:11.75\00:04:13.08
She's saying one thing,
00:04:13.11\00:04:14.45
I am saying
something or the other,
00:04:14.48\00:04:16.02
I have a right to say
something too, you know.
00:04:16.05\00:04:18.49
Well, we'll see.
00:04:18.52\00:04:19.85
We just saw the video
00:04:19.89\00:04:21.22
and you heard the
video of you on tape
00:04:21.26\00:04:23.46
so let's try and look and see
00:04:23.49\00:04:25.06
if we can flesh out some
things that may be going on
00:04:25.09\00:04:28.83
that's leading to some
problems in the relationship.
00:04:28.86\00:04:32.07
So can you tell me some things
00:04:32.10\00:04:34.17
you've noticed about yourself
when you heard the video?
00:04:34.20\00:04:38.31
About myself?
00:04:38.34\00:04:40.08
Let me tell you I've some
proving I needed to just say it
00:04:40.11\00:04:42.38
ain't no walk in the park,
00:04:42.41\00:04:43.91
you got to get hard
and here I get beat down.
00:04:43.95\00:04:46.58
So maybe, I
ain't so touchy feely
00:04:46.61\00:04:48.78
like she want me to be
00:04:48.82\00:04:50.49
but this is how
it is, real life.
00:04:50.52\00:04:52.49
You know, you act like
everything is hard inside
00:04:52.52\00:04:54.59
and this just so easy out here,
00:04:54.62\00:04:56.16
it's hard raising
a child by myself.
00:04:56.19\00:04:58.29
And then you make it worse
00:04:58.33\00:04:59.66
because now I'm
fighting with her
00:04:59.69\00:05:01.03
for things that
you've already promised her.
00:05:01.06\00:05:02.80
Wow!
00:05:02.83\00:05:04.17
Well, I will get
them when I get out there
00:05:04.20\00:05:05.60
since you don't want do it.
00:05:05.63\00:05:08.07
Okay, but let's
go back to the point.
00:05:08.10\00:05:10.67
Did you hear anything
00:05:10.71\00:05:12.57
and we are
dealing with you first.
00:05:12.61\00:05:13.94
Did you hear
anything on the video
00:05:13.98\00:05:17.38
that you may be
doing even with Lauren,
00:05:17.41\00:05:19.58
she says, you know, you
said you were going to call,
00:05:19.61\00:05:22.98
you're not calling
for two weeks at a time.
00:05:23.02\00:05:24.89
Is there anything
that you can contribute
00:05:24.92\00:05:27.22
that you're doing that may be
00:05:27.26\00:05:28.86
causing some friction
and conflicts in the home?
00:05:28.89\00:05:32.53
Well, I can't just
call anytime I want to,
00:05:32.56\00:05:34.53
we got schedules where
we can make phone calls.
00:05:34.56\00:05:37.03
So have you talked
to Lauren about that,
00:05:37.07\00:05:38.93
have you said that to her?
00:05:38.97\00:05:41.10
I don't really know.
00:05:41.14\00:05:42.47
Maybe I said it, maybe I didn't,
00:05:42.50\00:05:44.07
I ain't confessing
to nothing right now.
00:05:44.11\00:05:46.24
Oh, confessing. Okay. See.
00:05:46.27\00:05:48.11
See, this is what I deal with.
00:05:48.14\00:05:49.71
This is crazy.
00:05:49.74\00:05:51.08
It sounds like it's
very, very difficult for you
00:05:51.11\00:05:53.85
to make this
transition from your family,
00:05:53.88\00:05:57.99
this is your family,
00:05:58.02\00:05:59.35
these are not inmates,
the judge or the attorneys,
00:05:59.39\00:06:05.26
this is your family so
you're not confessing anything,
00:06:05.29\00:06:08.60
you're actually
communicating to your family so.
00:06:08.63\00:06:14.37
Well, I see stuff having there,
00:06:14.40\00:06:15.74
maybe I didn't expect, you know.
00:06:15.77\00:06:17.57
Lauren's growing up
without her dad there,
00:06:17.61\00:06:20.38
you know, but she
gets to acting like
00:06:20.41\00:06:22.31
normal teenagers act that way,
00:06:22.34\00:06:24.85
she'll get used to it,
and then when I get out,
00:06:24.88\00:06:27.78
then I'll take care of business.
00:06:27.82\00:06:29.88
Okay.
00:06:29.92\00:06:31.25
Well, but we don't know for sure
00:06:31.29\00:06:33.25
when you're going to get out,
00:06:33.29\00:06:34.62
so what we want to do is
try to do as little damage
00:06:34.66\00:06:39.09
as possible with your absence.
00:06:39.13\00:06:41.90
So we want you to kind of
recognize if there's anything
00:06:41.93\00:06:45.87
that you may be doing that
may contribute to the problem,
00:06:45.90\00:06:49.37
and you coming up to mom so.
00:06:49.40\00:06:51.31
Okay.
00:06:51.34\00:06:53.51
Well, I probably don't
had to be so mean to her
00:06:53.54\00:06:55.64
but like I say,
it's a tough life.
00:06:55.68\00:06:58.01
Okay. So I want
you to do one favor.
00:06:58.05\00:07:01.05
So just say what
you could do better
00:07:01.08\00:07:04.39
and then just stop there.
00:07:04.42\00:07:05.75
I could be kinder to her.
00:07:05.79\00:07:07.26
Okay. And then, what else?
00:07:07.29\00:07:08.62
Is there anything else
that you noticed on the video?
00:07:08.66\00:07:13.60
Well, I just
stated, promised her
00:07:13.63\00:07:15.40
she can have stuff
without telling her
00:07:15.43\00:07:17.00
when I get out, I
will get it for her.
00:07:17.03\00:07:19.37
Okay. Well, that's
kind of a same thing.
00:07:19.40\00:07:21.50
Is there anything
else you could do,
00:07:21.54\00:07:23.34
instead of saying anything
about getting her something?
00:07:23.37\00:07:27.74
Boy, just not promising nothing
and just be a deadbeat dad.
00:07:27.78\00:07:31.85
Well, promises don't
make you a good father
00:07:31.88\00:07:36.99
and it doesn't make
you a deadbeat father
00:07:37.02\00:07:39.69
if you don't give her promise.
00:07:39.72\00:07:41.86
So there's not, you
won't be a deadbeat father
00:07:41.89\00:07:44.43
if you don't promise
stuff that you can't give.
00:07:44.46\00:07:48.53
So let's go to the mom.
00:07:48.56\00:07:49.96
So is there anything
that you heard on the video
00:07:50.00\00:07:52.50
or saw on the video that you do?
00:07:52.53\00:07:56.27
Well, I guess always
have attitudes when he calls.
00:07:56.30\00:07:58.51
Right, you were
really angry before...
00:07:58.54\00:08:00.74
Because I am
always just assuming
00:08:00.78\00:08:02.11
he's going to do the same thing.
00:08:02.14\00:08:03.48
He's only either
ask me for something
00:08:03.51\00:08:05.21
or promise her something
00:08:05.25\00:08:06.58
which in turn
requires me to do something.
00:08:06.61\00:08:08.55
So it still ends up
with me doing something.
00:08:08.58\00:08:10.72
So it's like, it's a lot on you.
00:08:10.75\00:08:13.96
It is.
00:08:13.99\00:08:15.32
And I think some, it's
going to be a lot on you
00:08:15.36\00:08:17.33
because this is the situation
that you're in right now.
00:08:17.36\00:08:20.83
And I'm afraid that
if he continues this,
00:08:20.86\00:08:22.56
it's not going to
change when he gets out,
00:08:22.60\00:08:23.93
so I mean, I'm exhausted now.
00:08:23.97\00:08:26.00
If it stays this way, he
might as well not come home.
00:08:26.03\00:08:28.74
Oh, I'm coming
home. You can bet that.
00:08:28.77\00:08:31.37
I'll be home
sooner than you think,
00:08:31.41\00:08:33.27
and I'm gonna take
care of my daughter
00:08:33.31\00:08:34.94
and I'll buy her
what I want to buy.
00:08:34.98\00:08:37.28
Okay, so I hear you
00:08:37.31\00:08:39.51
and I understand that
both of you are frustrated.
00:08:39.55\00:08:42.58
I recognize that being in prison
00:08:42.62\00:08:46.25
almost heightens the
desire for you to get out
00:08:46.29\00:08:49.19
and lavish your
daughter with the love
00:08:49.22\00:08:52.43
and all the
things she ever wanted.
00:08:52.46\00:08:54.16
I hear you wanting to
have the burdens lifted,
00:08:54.20\00:08:56.83
you want some of the
struggles to be lifted.
00:08:56.87\00:08:58.90
Something.
00:08:58.93\00:09:00.27
Let's take a little time,
00:09:00.30\00:09:01.64
I feel like we're at an impasse,
00:09:01.67\00:09:03.00
so let's take a little
time and see a quick prayer,
00:09:03.04\00:09:05.74
and then ask for some wisdom.
00:09:05.77\00:09:07.11
Can we do that?
00:09:07.14\00:09:08.48
We can do that. Okay.
00:09:08.51\00:09:09.88
Dad, did you hear me?
00:09:09.91\00:09:11.25
Yeah, go ahead.
00:09:11.28\00:09:12.61
Okay, so.
00:09:12.65\00:09:13.98
Bless by His
most honorable Father,
00:09:14.02\00:09:16.05
we are so
grateful for Your goodness.
00:09:16.08\00:09:18.55
We are grateful
for that this family,
00:09:18.59\00:09:19.92
this couple want to do better,
they want to do the best, Lord.
00:09:19.95\00:09:24.49
Now it appears that
they're at the breaking point,
00:09:24.53\00:09:26.96
so we're asking you
Father to step in with wisdom,
00:09:27.00\00:09:30.63
guide them, lead them,
00:09:30.67\00:09:32.40
soften and subdue their spirits.
00:09:32.43\00:09:34.34
In Jesus' name we ask
00:09:34.37\00:09:35.87
and we give You all
the praise and glory
00:09:35.90\00:09:37.84
for the healing that You
are going to bring about here.
00:09:37.87\00:09:40.01
In Jesus' name we pray. Amen.
00:09:40.04\00:09:42.61
All right, so let's talk about
how this is affecting Lauren?
00:09:42.64\00:09:47.72
And maybe, he can understand
00:09:47.75\00:09:49.22
a little better what
you are going through.
00:09:49.25\00:09:52.45
How is it affecting Lauren?
00:09:52.49\00:09:54.26
Well, it seems like she
just manipulates the situation.
00:09:54.29\00:09:56.76
There are times when I told her
that she can't have something
00:09:56.79\00:09:59.23
or she can't go somewhere,
and she will wait so he calls
00:09:59.26\00:10:02.40
and then she will
asks him the same thing.
00:10:02.43\00:10:04.33
And so now it
puts he and I at odds,
00:10:04.37\00:10:06.94
and I just feel
like I'm always fighting,
00:10:06.97\00:10:08.70
if I'm not fighting
her, I'm fighting him.
00:10:08.74\00:10:11.37
I don't know, it's almost like
00:10:11.41\00:10:12.74
she's emboldened
by whatever he says
00:10:12.77\00:10:15.14
and so I feel
like I'm the outsider.
00:10:15.18\00:10:17.35
So, dad, do you
hear what she's saying?
00:10:17.38\00:10:20.35
Yeah, I heard her.
Tell me what she just said.
00:10:20.38\00:10:23.28
She said, "It is all my fault."
00:10:23.32\00:10:25.52
Okay. No, I didn't hear that.
00:10:25.55\00:10:28.06
Okay, this is what,
could you say it again
00:10:28.09\00:10:30.39
just make it
short but say it again.
00:10:30.43\00:10:33.96
I'm tired of fighting
my daughter and my husband
00:10:34.00\00:10:38.23
when it relates to
parenting my child.
00:10:38.27\00:10:41.30
I don't feel as if
they are wanting to do
00:10:41.34\00:10:45.97
what's right for
everyone in the house,
00:10:46.01\00:10:47.81
I feel like it's
just them against me.
00:10:47.84\00:10:51.25
Did you hear her that time?
00:10:51.28\00:10:53.38
Yeah, I heard she
think we're ganging up on her
00:10:53.42\00:10:55.75
but sometimes
when I talk to Lauren,
00:10:55.78\00:10:57.62
I say yes, she can do some.
00:10:57.65\00:10:59.69
Well, she said, "Mom
said she could do it already."
00:10:59.72\00:11:02.62
So I can't tell whether
she's telling the truth or not.
00:11:02.66\00:11:06.09
Okay.
00:11:06.13\00:11:07.46
All right, so then there,
00:11:07.50\00:11:08.83
there we have
Lauren giving you one story
00:11:08.86\00:11:11.07
and she's giving her
mother a different story,
00:11:11.10\00:11:13.87
so that's really important
that you keyed in on that.
00:11:13.90\00:11:18.74
And also, I understand from him,
00:11:18.77\00:11:21.31
did you hear what he said
earlier about being in prison?
00:11:21.34\00:11:25.98
I know it's hard for him.
00:11:26.01\00:11:27.52
I really get that.
00:11:27.55\00:11:29.78
But not just that it's hard
00:11:29.82\00:11:31.65
because, of course, it's
hard, it's hard for everybody.
00:11:31.69\00:11:33.59
This is a hard situation
00:11:33.62\00:11:34.99
so let's just, it's a given,
it's going to be difficult.
00:11:35.02\00:11:38.69
But did you hear him
when he was saying that
00:11:38.73\00:11:42.50
he wants to do the
best for his daughter?
00:11:42.53\00:11:45.53
I understand that.
00:11:45.57\00:11:46.90
Okay. I do too.
00:11:46.94\00:11:48.27
But doing the best
doesn't always mean
00:11:48.30\00:11:49.84
saying yes to
everything she asks for.
00:11:49.87\00:11:52.24
But when you have only yes
as your weapon so to speak,
00:11:52.27\00:11:58.25
then that makes it more,
00:11:58.28\00:12:00.25
you know, you really go to that
00:12:00.28\00:12:01.98
because imagine being
in prison and he says no
00:12:02.02\00:12:05.55
and then I saw Lauren
stomping around, and moaning,
00:12:05.59\00:12:08.49
and rolling her eyes, of
course, he wouldn't see that
00:12:08.52\00:12:10.83
but he would
just know the silence
00:12:10.86\00:12:12.59
after she drops the phone.
00:12:12.63\00:12:13.96
How can that go
00:12:14.00\00:12:15.33
and then he doesn't get to
call her for another two weeks,
00:12:15.36\00:12:17.43
he has that to carry.
00:12:17.47\00:12:19.27
So everyone has
a difficult time.
00:12:19.30\00:12:22.94
Let's talk about how you
guys have tried to resolve this.
00:12:22.97\00:12:25.47
Have you tried to
resolve it at all?
00:12:25.51\00:12:28.11
Well, I tried
talking to him about it,
00:12:28.14\00:12:29.48
but it's almost like
00:12:29.51\00:12:30.85
he minimizes
everything that I say.
00:12:30.88\00:12:33.08
He doesn't think
it's a big concern
00:12:33.11\00:12:34.82
when I'm the one that sees her,
00:12:34.85\00:12:36.28
I am the one seeing her
attitude, her disrespect,
00:12:36.32\00:12:39.59
her rudeness, I see
that, he doesn't see that.
00:12:39.62\00:12:42.79
Well, did you notice, did you...
00:12:42.82\00:12:45.69
Has he talked to you
about that how your daughter
00:12:45.73\00:12:48.06
is given her a lot of
attitude and disrespect,
00:12:48.10\00:12:50.63
has she said that to you?
00:12:50.67\00:12:52.57
She says something
about it, you know,
00:12:52.60\00:12:54.37
but I'll be trying to
talk about it some later time
00:12:54.40\00:12:57.37
when I get more time
to spend on it, you know.
00:12:57.41\00:13:00.18
I can't just sit on the phone
discussing that stuff all day
00:13:00.21\00:13:03.41
and then she get
all mad about that,
00:13:03.45\00:13:05.68
well, what am I gonna do?
00:13:05.71\00:13:07.05
I just got to get mad too.
00:13:07.08\00:13:08.95
Okay. Well, you...
00:13:08.98\00:13:12.19
What else could you do
instead of getting mad?
00:13:12.22\00:13:14.99
Well, I could just hang
up the phone like she did,
00:13:15.02\00:13:17.19
how would that be?
00:13:17.23\00:13:18.56
Okay.
00:13:18.59\00:13:19.93
Well, I don't think
that will be very helpful.
00:13:19.96\00:13:21.83
So basically, it sounds like
you have tried to talk to him
00:13:21.86\00:13:25.50
but he's minimized the situation
00:13:25.53\00:13:28.44
which he's
saying he is overwhelmed
00:13:28.47\00:13:31.04
because he doesn't have the time
00:13:31.07\00:13:32.47
to actually
spend on the problem.
00:13:32.51\00:13:35.14
So let's try some strategies
even with you being in prison,
00:13:35.18\00:13:39.11
let's try to do
some things different.
00:13:39.15\00:13:40.78
Will you promise to try
to do something different,
00:13:40.82\00:13:44.29
dad, can you do?
00:13:44.32\00:13:45.65
I try to do something different
but every time we're talking,
00:13:45.69\00:13:48.26
whenever we talk about Lauren,
00:13:48.29\00:13:50.16
then it just starts blowing up
00:13:50.19\00:13:51.53
into a big
discussion and argument,
00:13:51.56\00:13:54.13
and I just had to,
00:13:54.16\00:13:55.50
"Who's starting, who's starting,
00:13:55.53\00:13:56.87
calm down a
little bit," you know.
00:13:56.90\00:13:58.83
I deal with he's always upset.
00:13:58.87\00:14:00.47
I guess we both are
always upset, I don't know.
00:14:00.50\00:14:01.94
Yeah.
00:14:01.97\00:14:03.30
In this upsetting situation
is not again an easy situation,
00:14:03.34\00:14:08.44
I can appreciate both of you
00:14:08.48\00:14:10.25
and the effort you're putting
in trying to make it work,
00:14:10.28\00:14:13.42
and trying to parent
her and co-parent together.
00:14:13.45\00:14:16.38
So let's take a
look at some things
00:14:16.42\00:14:18.39
that could possibly happen.
00:14:18.42\00:14:19.75
Now I want you
dad to ask questions,
00:14:19.79\00:14:23.09
you guys ask questions
00:14:23.12\00:14:24.46
if you don't
understand what I'm saying
00:14:24.49\00:14:25.93
because it's very
difficult to parent
00:14:25.96\00:14:28.96
when one person's in one spot
00:14:29.00\00:14:30.50
and the other
person's in another spot,
00:14:30.53\00:14:32.20
and communication becomes
very, very, very important.
00:14:32.23\00:14:35.94
And I don't want
anyone coming back and say,
00:14:35.97\00:14:38.04
"Well, that they're busy.
00:14:38.07\00:14:39.67
I could, I don't have to,
00:14:39.71\00:14:41.24
I want you to
understand clearly."
00:14:41.28\00:14:44.01
So if you need any
extra information, please ask.
00:14:44.05\00:14:48.05
Okay? Okay.
00:14:48.08\00:14:50.22
So when you...
00:14:50.25\00:14:52.05
The first thing I want you to do
00:14:52.09\00:14:53.42
is become a broken record
00:14:53.46\00:14:55.02
and the first question
you're going to always ask is,
00:14:55.06\00:14:58.69
what did your mom say?
00:14:58.73\00:15:00.40
What did your dad say?
00:15:00.43\00:15:01.90
Okay.
00:15:01.93\00:15:03.26
You know, so if
Lauren comes to you and says,
00:15:03.30\00:15:05.57
dad, Lauren comes and said,
00:15:05.60\00:15:07.10
"Mom said, I can climb
the mountain with this family
00:15:07.14\00:15:10.67
that I don't even know."
00:15:10.71\00:15:12.04
What will you say to her?
00:15:12.07\00:15:14.38
I guess I will check to
see if what her mom says
00:15:14.41\00:15:16.98
but I don't have a lot
of time on this phone call,
00:15:17.01\00:15:19.41
so we have to
make it quick on that.
00:15:19.45\00:15:22.28
Oh, okay.
00:15:22.32\00:15:23.65
So and that's another
thing too, good for you.
00:15:23.69\00:15:26.09
I'm glad that
you brought that up.
00:15:26.12\00:15:27.52
Supposing, you
could check with mom
00:15:27.56\00:15:32.03
and ask her before
Lauren gets on the phone,
00:15:32.06\00:15:34.56
what things are coming up?
00:15:34.60\00:15:36.06
What have you
guys been dealing with?
00:15:36.10\00:15:37.83
Have you ever done that before?
00:15:37.87\00:15:39.93
No, we just start arguing,
00:15:39.97\00:15:41.60
I just want to
talk to my daughter
00:15:41.64\00:15:42.97
but we're cool, I
am cool with that,
00:15:43.00\00:15:44.54
we can do that.
00:15:44.57\00:15:45.91
Yes, you can ask, you know,
what is going on with Lauren.
00:15:45.94\00:15:49.14
And supposing your wife
wants to allow Lauren to go,
00:15:49.18\00:15:55.12
you know, to the
Himalayas and you don't,
00:15:55.15\00:15:58.45
well, if she says, "No,
she can't go to the Himalayas"
00:15:58.49\00:16:00.96
and you don't think
00:16:00.99\00:16:02.32
there is anything wrong with it.
00:16:02.36\00:16:03.69
What will you say to Lauren?
00:16:03.73\00:16:05.06
Just ask her to put
her mom on the phone,
00:16:05.09\00:16:06.73
I will check with her again.
00:16:06.76\00:16:08.43
Okay, cool. That's very good.
00:16:08.46\00:16:10.57
But what if she says no
00:16:10.60\00:16:11.93
and you think that
Lauren should be allowed to go.
00:16:11.97\00:16:14.97
What will you do
in that situation?
00:16:15.00\00:16:18.47
Again, I guess we
just need to discuss it,
00:16:18.51\00:16:20.84
two adults to sit
down and discuss it first,
00:16:20.88\00:16:23.81
then we make the decision
00:16:23.85\00:16:25.18
and tell Lauren
how it's going to be.
00:16:25.21\00:16:27.12
Is it at all possible
00:16:27.15\00:16:28.75
since she is the
primary caretaker at this point,
00:16:28.78\00:16:32.15
is it okay for you to say,
00:16:32.19\00:16:34.12
"Well, your mom
said, 'You can't go.'
00:16:34.16\00:16:35.59
I think it might be
good, it could be good,
00:16:35.62\00:16:37.56
I don't know but she says no
00:16:37.59\00:16:39.49
so that's what we're going
to stick with for right now."
00:16:39.53\00:16:42.13
Yes. Fine, I can do that.
00:16:42.16\00:16:43.57
Okay. Okay.
00:16:43.60\00:16:45.13
So let's talk about, talking
about things as two adults.
00:16:45.17\00:16:48.94
So in some ways I
heard on the video
00:16:48.97\00:16:51.84
you seemed a little
bit condescending to him.
00:16:51.87\00:16:56.24
It's almost like,
"Well, you are not here
00:16:56.28\00:16:58.58
so I don't care what you think,"
00:16:58.61\00:17:00.88
but he's still the parent
00:17:00.92\00:17:02.95
so he's to have
all those rights, okay.
00:17:02.98\00:17:05.65
So in
discussing, you can't say no
00:17:05.69\00:17:09.49
and, you know,
he's agreed to allow you
00:17:09.52\00:17:12.23
as a primary caretaker,
00:17:12.26\00:17:14.13
so you now have
that right to say that,
00:17:14.16\00:17:15.86
but he needs to
be heard as well.
00:17:15.90\00:17:18.97
Okay.
00:17:19.00\00:17:20.34
So you think that in family
discussions you can actually,
00:17:20.37\00:17:24.77
you know,
consider what he's saying.
00:17:24.81\00:17:27.24
I can do that. Okay.
00:17:27.28\00:17:29.21
I think I can do that, yeah.
00:17:29.24\00:17:31.21
So how does this
seem for you dad,
00:17:31.25\00:17:33.31
you think you can
do any of those things?
00:17:33.35\00:17:35.28
Yes, I'll do it.
00:17:35.32\00:17:37.02
Okay.
00:17:37.05\00:17:38.39
Is there a possible,
00:17:38.42\00:17:39.75
a possibility
that you two could just
00:17:39.79\00:17:41.62
have conversations by
yourself without Lauren?
00:17:41.66\00:17:45.66
Yeah, I think I'll enjoy that.
00:17:45.69\00:17:48.46
In those conversations
00:17:48.50\00:17:50.77
they are not to be
talked about parenting problems,
00:17:50.80\00:17:55.34
you know, prison problems,
00:17:55.37\00:17:56.71
your goal is to
get out of prison
00:17:56.74\00:17:58.21
so your mind is not
going to be staying there,
00:17:58.24\00:18:00.98
we want you out.
00:18:01.01\00:18:02.34
So they can talk
about plans that you have,
00:18:02.38\00:18:05.21
you know, maybe a
job you may need to get,
00:18:05.25\00:18:07.18
maybe some training,
00:18:07.22\00:18:08.55
so there are other adult issues
that need to be discussed.
00:18:08.58\00:18:11.52
So what do you think
about that, dad, talking to her
00:18:11.55\00:18:15.76
but not about
parenting and not about prison,
00:18:15.79\00:18:18.53
just putting a boundary on
what your private conversation
00:18:18.56\00:18:21.10
with her and be about?
00:18:21.13\00:18:22.46
Yeah, that will be fine.
00:18:22.50\00:18:23.83
We'll have a sedate adult
conversation like we used to.
00:18:23.87\00:18:26.63
Right, you know, it could
be lovey-dovey, and family,
00:18:26.67\00:18:29.94
and, you know, you
all can even talk about
00:18:29.97\00:18:31.87
some dates you
might want to go on.
00:18:31.91\00:18:33.54
So let's not, that's
part of your marriage,
00:18:33.58\00:18:36.24
that's very important
part of your marriage as well.
00:18:36.28\00:18:39.68
And then one more thing
I would like for you to do
00:18:39.71\00:18:42.48
is to discuss important
parenting decisions if that...
00:18:42.52\00:18:48.46
when it's time to
just talk about those.
00:18:48.49\00:18:50.46
Important parenting
decisions will be buying Lauren
00:18:50.49\00:18:53.66
something that's very,
very expensive, you know.
00:18:53.70\00:18:56.80
And if money is
tight that could be,
00:18:56.83\00:18:58.50
you know, something as
simple as a pair of shoes,
00:18:58.53\00:19:00.70
so if money is tight,
you have to run then by her
00:19:00.74\00:19:04.21
or you run then by him as well.
00:19:04.24\00:19:06.71
And then trips that Lauren may
want to take with other people,
00:19:06.74\00:19:10.65
other people
coming into her lives.
00:19:10.68\00:19:12.78
And then what about dating?
00:19:12.81\00:19:14.35
How's that going
to play out for Lauren
00:19:14.38\00:19:16.08
and that's important.
00:19:16.12\00:19:17.45
And, you know, mom, I would
like for you to do something,
00:19:17.49\00:19:20.06
share with him some good
things that's going on with life
00:19:20.09\00:19:22.99
so that he can
feel proud of his child
00:19:23.02\00:19:25.53
and not feel so
left out, you know.
00:19:25.56\00:19:27.30
She's made good grades in school
00:19:27.33\00:19:30.60
or if she has
done something at home,
00:19:30.63\00:19:33.70
you know, talk to him
about it and share it,
00:19:33.74\00:19:35.80
and that will make your
load a little bit lighter, okay?
00:19:35.84\00:19:39.81
So we've talked
about some things that are,
00:19:39.84\00:19:43.48
you guys can do.
00:19:43.51\00:19:45.51
Do those seem
simple enough to do?
00:19:45.55\00:19:48.72
Yeah, I think I
can do all of those.
00:19:48.75\00:19:51.22
Well, we don't, we
always try to just work
00:19:51.25\00:19:53.36
on one or two at a time,
00:19:53.39\00:19:54.72
and what I really
want you guys to start with
00:19:54.76\00:19:56.93
is working on talking
together with each other
00:19:56.96\00:20:00.13
about parenting issues
00:20:00.16\00:20:02.20
and having a
separate parenting phone call,
00:20:02.23\00:20:05.20
can we do that?
00:20:05.23\00:20:07.94
Yeah, I am good. Okay.
00:20:07.97\00:20:09.60
And I think, dad,
it's very important for you
00:20:09.64\00:20:12.31
to be a broken record,
00:20:12.34\00:20:13.68
that's very,
very important, okay?
00:20:13.71\00:20:16.31
All right, so our time
is up and until next week.
00:20:16.34\00:20:21.28
Go home and try those strategies
00:20:21.32\00:20:22.75
and let's see how
everything works out, okay?
00:20:22.78\00:20:24.55
Okay. Thank you so much.
00:20:24.59\00:20:25.92
All right, thank you
for being on the phone.
00:20:25.95\00:20:27.59
All right. I will
talk to you later.
00:20:27.62\00:20:29.56
So hi. How are you guys doing?
00:20:34.26\00:20:36.40
We are doing good. Doing good.
00:20:36.43\00:20:37.87
It's so good to
see you at home now
00:20:37.90\00:20:40.00
and out of prison now, that's...
00:20:40.04\00:20:41.44
Yeah, I am glad to be here.
00:20:41.47\00:20:42.80
I tell you what in prison there
00:20:42.84\00:20:44.24
you got plenty of
time for two things,
00:20:44.27\00:20:46.27
reading and
working out on weights.
00:20:46.31\00:20:48.24
I worked out so much
00:20:48.28\00:20:49.61
and I got to wear
these sweats all the time.
00:20:49.64\00:20:51.21
Oh, okay. Well, that's good.
00:20:51.25\00:20:53.31
But now that
you're home from prison,
00:20:53.35\00:20:54.82
how is everything going?
00:20:54.85\00:20:56.89
Well, it's going well.
00:20:56.92\00:20:58.25
We're working
together as a team.
00:20:58.29\00:20:59.62
Okay. Finally, yeah.
00:20:59.65\00:21:01.22
Yes. Oh, okay.
00:21:01.26\00:21:03.16
So let's check this...
we took this video in prison
00:21:03.19\00:21:06.80
and we want to thank
the prison administration
00:21:06.83\00:21:10.57
for allowing us to come in
00:21:10.60\00:21:12.20
and we have you when you were
in prison and from your home
00:21:12.23\00:21:15.94
so we do want to thank you.
00:21:15.97\00:21:17.31
So let's take a look at the tape
00:21:17.34\00:21:18.74
and see what
strategies are working for us.
00:21:18.77\00:21:21.18
Okay, sounds good.
00:21:21.21\00:21:23.01
Dad is going to call
for my birthday today.
00:21:23.04\00:21:25.61
He should be
calling in a few minutes.
00:21:25.65\00:21:27.42
In fact, this is
something he sent for you.
00:21:27.45\00:21:31.35
A birthday card.
00:21:31.39\00:21:32.72
This is him, now.
00:21:32.75\00:21:34.86
Hello.
00:21:34.89\00:21:36.76
Yes, I'll accept.
00:21:36.79\00:21:39.43
Hey, honey, how you doing?
00:21:39.46\00:21:41.03
Hi, baby, I'm doing okay.
00:21:41.06\00:21:42.50
How are you making it?
00:21:42.53\00:21:43.87
Oh, I'm doing well.
00:21:43.90\00:21:45.23
Lauren can't
wait to talk to you.
00:21:45.27\00:21:46.90
Hold on one second.
00:21:46.94\00:21:48.80
Hi, Daddy.
00:21:48.84\00:21:50.17
Thanks for the birthday card
00:21:50.21\00:21:51.54
and thanks for calling
like you promised you would.
00:21:51.57\00:21:53.84
Oh, you know, I really wouldn't
forget my daughter's birthday.
00:21:53.88\00:21:57.05
And I wish I could
be there in person.
00:21:57.08\00:22:02.28
Well, I am not sure, sweety,
00:22:02.32\00:22:03.65
I have been talking
to my lawyer about that
00:22:03.69\00:22:05.65
but I don't want
to talk about me.
00:22:05.69\00:22:07.29
How you've been doing in school?
00:22:07.32\00:22:09.09
I've been doing good.
00:22:09.12\00:22:10.46
I got an A on my last math test.
00:22:10.49\00:22:12.23
Oh, that's
terrific. I knew you would.
00:22:12.26\00:22:14.46
You're such a smart little girl.
00:22:14.50\00:22:16.33
And how did your
friend Lovona do?
00:22:16.36\00:22:17.70
I know you like to
compete with her on your grades.
00:22:17.73\00:22:20.24
She did good too.
00:22:20.27\00:22:21.67
Guess what, we went to
the zoo on our field trip.
00:22:21.70\00:22:24.41
Well, that's terrific.
00:22:24.44\00:22:25.77
What kind of
animals did you see?
00:22:25.81\00:22:27.58
Well, we went into the
penguins little habitat
00:22:27.61\00:22:29.94
and it was super cold in there
00:22:29.98\00:22:31.91
but it felt good
since it was hot outside.
00:22:31.95\00:22:34.12
Also, the elephants were
spraying water on people.
00:22:34.15\00:22:36.99
We also saw the polar bears,
00:22:37.02\00:22:38.35
they were swimming around
and playing with each other.
00:22:38.39\00:22:40.36
The rhinos were just sit...
00:22:40.39\00:22:42.12
Wow! What a change.
00:22:42.16\00:22:44.46
That is phenomenal. Yes.
00:22:44.49\00:22:46.43
Man, you guys have to be
pretty proud of yourself.
00:22:46.46\00:22:49.36
Well, I think we did a
good job together, you know.
00:22:49.40\00:22:51.93
And those counseling sessions
00:22:51.97\00:22:53.30
she gave me in prison really
turned things around for me.
00:22:53.34\00:22:55.64
Oh, okay.
00:22:55.67\00:22:57.01
And I really hope the prayer
that you guys did together
00:22:57.04\00:22:58.94
and that we did
together helped as well.
00:22:58.97\00:23:01.01
So tell me, I'm
seeing from the video
00:23:01.04\00:23:03.75
that you're working
together, how is it like?
00:23:03.78\00:23:05.35
What is it feeling
right now? Terrific.
00:23:05.38\00:23:08.22
We've never been
that close before
00:23:08.25\00:23:10.25
and I feel much
closer to my wife
00:23:10.29\00:23:12.05
than I was, you know.
00:23:12.09\00:23:13.46
And things were just kind
of wild when I was locked up
00:23:13.49\00:23:15.92
but now that I am out,
00:23:15.96\00:23:17.29
I am making it my
goal and purpose to be here
00:23:17.33\00:23:19.79
for her as well as for Lauren.
00:23:19.83\00:23:21.86
Oh, okay.
00:23:21.90\00:23:23.23
That is a difference.
00:23:23.26\00:23:24.60
Yeah, and I am a whole lot
less frustrated and stressed.
00:23:24.63\00:23:27.90
And the house just seem
really calm and peaceful.
00:23:27.94\00:23:30.71
We are able to talk a lot
more about things not just us
00:23:30.74\00:23:33.74
but also with Lauren as well.
00:23:33.78\00:23:35.18
Oh, so when you're
talking about Lauren now,
00:23:35.21\00:23:37.55
you're not falling
apart, you're not arguing,
00:23:37.58\00:23:40.05
there's no contingent?
00:23:40.08\00:23:41.42
No, in fact, it's kind of funny
00:23:41.45\00:23:43.15
because she asked my wife
that if she could do something
00:23:43.18\00:23:47.09
and then she has came
and talked to me about it
00:23:47.12\00:23:50.56
and Lauren was surprised,
00:23:50.59\00:23:51.93
she looked like a
deer in the headlights
00:23:51.96\00:23:53.29
because we were
now working together
00:23:53.33\00:23:55.76
instead of her being
able to manipulate us.
00:23:55.80\00:23:57.93
It was really
crazy, it was funny.
00:23:57.97\00:23:59.67
Okay, so, Vince,
have you had any incidence
00:23:59.70\00:24:03.27
where you would say yes to
her after your wife said no.
00:24:03.30\00:24:07.81
Well, you know,
we worked on that
00:24:07.84\00:24:09.41
during this therapy sessions
00:24:09.44\00:24:11.18
and I really focused and
tried hard not to do this
00:24:11.21\00:24:14.22
so it's been a lot
better, don't you think?
00:24:14.25\00:24:16.25
Yeah, he's
definitely been trying it.
00:24:16.28\00:24:18.19
We've just been
talking a lot more.
00:24:18.22\00:24:19.55
So yeah, we're a team on things
00:24:19.59\00:24:21.56
that we have
expectations for Lauren about,
00:24:21.59\00:24:23.39
we try to talk to
before we even talk to her,
00:24:23.43\00:24:26.06
that way we are
on the same page.
00:24:26.09\00:24:27.43
Okay.
00:24:27.46\00:24:28.80
So you were feeling like
00:24:28.83\00:24:30.17
you had to be the hard
heavy guy all the time.
00:24:30.20\00:24:32.00
Is that gone now?
00:24:32.03\00:24:33.37
It's gone, yes. Oh, good.
00:24:33.40\00:24:34.74
I think we both
play the good bad guy,
00:24:34.77\00:24:36.34
we kind of trade off on it
depending on the situation,
00:24:36.37\00:24:39.47
but I think it's
definitely more balanced now.
00:24:39.51\00:24:41.81
Have you had situations
where he was too harsh,
00:24:41.84\00:24:44.21
maybe in parenting and you did
not agree with his parenting?
00:24:44.25\00:24:48.38
Yes, so we've had
some disagreements
00:24:48.42\00:24:49.88
but we've learned
to just talk about
00:24:49.92\00:24:51.35
those outside of
Lauren being there.
00:24:51.39\00:24:53.69
I mean, it works a lot better
00:24:53.72\00:24:55.06
because I think
that she feels like
00:24:55.09\00:24:56.42
she has control of our situation
00:24:56.46\00:24:58.23
when she is there.
00:24:58.26\00:25:00.03
So we try to do a
lot of that talking,
00:25:00.06\00:25:01.50
you know, usually
when she's not around.
00:25:01.53\00:25:03.60
And what I've learned is
00:25:03.63\00:25:04.97
teamwork really
does make the dream work
00:25:05.00\00:25:07.24
when you're
dealing with your children.
00:25:07.27\00:25:09.17
You got to work
together as parents
00:25:09.20\00:25:10.81
or you're just
going to mess things up,
00:25:10.84\00:25:12.34
and the children are smart,
00:25:12.37\00:25:14.34
they'll figure out
that you two are fighting
00:25:14.38\00:25:16.64
and they'll go around
your back and manipulate you,
00:25:16.68\00:25:19.05
so we've really
been doing a lot better,
00:25:19.08\00:25:21.55
thanks to your advice.
00:25:21.58\00:25:22.92
Okay. So those are
strategies and suggestions.
00:25:22.95\00:25:26.25
So how is your daughter now?
00:25:26.29\00:25:28.82
Definitely, more respectful.
00:25:28.86\00:25:30.29
Oh, yeah, definitely.
00:25:30.33\00:25:31.93
Not so many tantrums,
00:25:31.96\00:25:33.50
not so much bad attitude
going on at the house either.
00:25:33.53\00:25:37.90
Well, time is
lying down quickly,
00:25:37.93\00:25:39.43
so I want you to tell
me at least one strategy
00:25:39.47\00:25:42.20
that you like the most,
that was the easiest for you.
00:25:42.24\00:25:46.64
I say communication.
00:25:46.68\00:25:48.61
And as it pertains
to our relationship
00:25:48.64\00:25:51.25
because you did suggest
that we talk more about things
00:25:51.28\00:25:54.35
that involve us as opposed
to always speaking about Lauren
00:25:54.38\00:25:57.69
and it's worked out a lot.
00:25:57.72\00:25:59.05
I think our
relationship has grown so much
00:25:59.09\00:26:00.56
because of it and we
have our date nights,
00:26:00.59\00:26:02.26
we have our moments
00:26:02.29\00:26:03.63
where we can just
spend some time together.
00:26:03.66\00:26:05.69
Yeah, I agree.
00:26:05.73\00:26:07.06
Adult
conversation which was missing,
00:26:07.10\00:26:09.50
that's really
made a big difference.
00:26:09.53\00:26:11.00
Now we know more about
each other as individuals
00:26:11.03\00:26:13.90
and we can focus on making sure
00:26:13.94\00:26:15.70
that we train our
daughter up properly
00:26:15.74\00:26:17.81
according to the way that
the Bible would like us to.
00:26:17.84\00:26:20.68
So were there any strategies
00:26:20.71\00:26:22.34
that were
particularly challenging
00:26:22.38\00:26:25.38
for either one of you?
00:26:25.41\00:26:27.88
Yeah, for me it was
probably just including him
00:26:27.92\00:26:30.82
in a lot of the
bigger decision making things
00:26:30.85\00:26:34.29
that we need to
do concerning more.
00:26:34.32\00:26:36.59
I think that it worked out.
00:26:36.62\00:26:37.96
He was very patient
with me along that process.
00:26:37.99\00:26:40.96
I think I've gotten a
little bit better with that.
00:26:41.00\00:26:43.40
What do you think? A lot better.
00:26:43.43\00:26:45.37
And, you know, the
thing that I was challenged
00:26:45.40\00:26:47.14
most by was just
when Lauren would come
00:26:47.17\00:26:49.70
and asked me some
deferring it over to her mother,
00:26:49.74\00:26:52.71
you know, because I
want to jump in there
00:26:52.74\00:26:54.41
and be the dad, right?
00:26:54.44\00:26:55.98
But I've gotten much
better at just saying,
00:26:56.01\00:26:58.41
"Ask your mom about that."
00:26:58.45\00:27:00.88
Well, our time is up,
00:27:00.92\00:27:02.28
so let's have a brief word
of prayer before and close out.
00:27:02.32\00:27:05.55
And I'm so happy
things are going well.
00:27:05.59\00:27:08.02
Most honorable Father,
00:27:08.06\00:27:09.39
we're so grateful
that You have sent
00:27:09.42\00:27:10.89
Your healing
power to this family.
00:27:10.93\00:27:12.93
Lord, we know that You will
work with all families this way
00:27:12.96\00:27:15.76
and so we praise Your holy name.
00:27:15.80\00:27:17.13
We thank You
for giving us wisdom
00:27:17.17\00:27:19.17
and for them being
able to use the strategies
00:27:19.20\00:27:21.30
and being willing to
use the strategies to go up.
00:27:21.34\00:27:23.77
And dear Father, we ask
for all the Christian families
00:27:23.81\00:27:25.87
around the circle, the globe
00:27:25.91\00:27:27.24
that they will turn to You
00:27:27.28\00:27:28.71
in times of trouble and discord
00:27:28.74\00:27:30.78
and above all things not give up
00:27:30.81\00:27:32.48
because You are the
healer of all things.
00:27:32.51\00:27:34.58
In Jesus' name we do pray. Amen.
00:27:34.62\00:27:37.22
Amen. Amen.
00:27:37.25\00:27:38.59
Thank you. Thank you very much.
00:27:38.62\00:27:39.95
You guys praise God,
okay, and have a great day.
00:27:39.99\00:27:42.76
All right.
00:27:42.79\00:27:44.13
Remember, you must
work together as parents.
00:27:46.86\00:27:49.96
It's so easy for
children to learn to manipulate
00:27:50.00\00:27:52.73
when parenting
efforts are disjointed.
00:27:52.77\00:27:55.24
Sometimes your
spouse will be wrong,
00:27:55.27\00:27:57.61
taking sides with the
child empowers them way too much
00:27:57.64\00:28:01.24
and they become more defiant.
00:28:01.28\00:28:03.21
Remember to press together.
00:28:03.24\00:28:05.11
A home with divided
parents will not stand.
00:28:05.15\00:28:08.22
Also remember to
communicate often and a lot
00:28:08.25\00:28:12.05
so that you won't miss
the signals from each other.
00:28:12.09\00:28:15.22
And one last thing,
00:28:15.26\00:28:16.83
please learn to
forgive each other
00:28:16.86\00:28:18.36
because again
mistakes will always be made.
00:28:18.39\00:28:21.26
And you parents
make this a great day.
00:28:21.30\00:28:23.47