Hey, you guys, get in
here, let's have family worship.
00:00:01.36\00:00:04.23
I'm in a hurry this
morning, I got a meeting.
00:00:04.27\00:00:06.07
Justina, Jerry,
George, honey, get in here.
00:00:06.10\00:00:09.90
Hello!
00:00:09.94\00:00:12.57
Coming. I said get in here.
00:00:12.61\00:00:15.11
Can we do a rap for devotion?
00:00:15.14\00:00:17.18
I can rap Lil Wayne and
just skip the cuss words,
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he uses the word God in it.
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Cuss words? Lil Wayne?
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Honey, I don't even think,
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I want you to listen
to anything like that.
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And no, we're not
doing that for worship.
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Can't we eat
breakfast first? You know what?
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Why don't you
all go on without me?
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I did worship in
the shower yesterday.
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I don't need this.
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Look, I'm trying to have
worship like the pastors say,
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we need to do
everything single day.
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You call a piece of a song
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and a prayer in
the shower worship?
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I don't think so.
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Oh, yeah, it is.
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I already did worship.
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I did worship while I
was brushing my teeth,
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I don't have time for this.
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Excuse me!
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I have a test tomorrow.
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Why didn't you study yesterday?
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Because I didn't
have time at all.
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Help me, Holy Ghost.
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We're going to have
worship this morning
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and you all are
going to participate.
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And if you have been
participating in the past,
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you would already
have the highest score.
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I don't have time for
this, I need to study.
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Excuse me, where are you going?
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Get back over
here and have a seat.
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And we're going to pray
about that bad attitude of yours
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before we leave this morning.
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It's so boring
doing family devotion.
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Okay, look, I got
to get out of here.
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So the scripture
today is Ephesians 5:22,
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"Wife, submit to your
husband, as unto the Lord."
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When was the last time
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you submitted unto
me and to the Lord?
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Excuse me!
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Excuse me, but you left
out the best part of that.
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It says,
"Husbands, love your wives
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as Christ loved the church,
and gave Himself for it."
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What have you
done for me lately?
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Have you died for
me? I don't think so.
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Can we get on with this? Okay.
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All right, all
right, testimony time.
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Who's first? Jerry, you first.
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Give me a testimony,
what are you thankful for?
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And don't say nothing or nobody.
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I'm thankful, I'm very
thankful for the new Xbox
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I'm going to get
after you get paid, Dad.
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No, no, no, you don't
need to be thankful for that.
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Get thankful for something else.
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I'm thankful for
waking up this morning,
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and I'll be even more
thankful when we have breakfast.
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You know what?
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I'm thankful that I
have a really good job
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'cause my wife
spends all of my money up.
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Excuse me, but I work.
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So I'm thankful that
God has given me patience
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with irritating people.
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Okay, okay.
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One word sentence prayers.
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Come on.
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Dear Heavenly Father
Lord, thank You for this day.
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Thank You for keeping us.
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Thank You for... Uh-huh.
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Amen.
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Lord, continuing in prayer.
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Help my husband
to be more generous
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and not so cheap, cheap, cheap!
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Dear Jesus, please pretty
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please with the
two cherries on top,
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keep dad working
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so he and Mom can
stop fighting about money.
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So he can buy me that Xbox.
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Lord, Lord, thank
You for our family.
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Please help my wife not
to spend any money today.
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Please help my daughter,
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Lord Jesus, to do
what we ask her to do.
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Excuse you!
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Lord, please help my son
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to take a shower
every now and then.
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Really, Dad?
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Please help my wife,
Lord. She just needs to...
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Uh-huh, uh-huh. Okay, okay.
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Let's not go
there. Keep them safe.
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Let's not go there.
Keep them safe. Amen.
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Amen. Amen.
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Thanks for letting us put
this equipment in your home
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so that we can tape and capture
what's going on in the family.
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So tell me what's going on now?
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These kids are still
whining out doing worship,
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they're disrespectful.
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They think it's a waste of time.
00:04:06.68\00:04:08.01
And they take it as a joke.
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You know, one time
my son came to worship,
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and he brought a can of
aerosol hairspray and a lighter,
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and he said, "Let's
talk about hellfire."
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And the next thing we knew
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a big ball of
fire was in the room.
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It was a mess. It was a mess.
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Is that right? You
know, I can't believe it.
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It sounds like family devotion's
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a little out of control.
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Yes, it is. Yes, it is.
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Well, I want to ask you
after watching the video,
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did you see anything
that you may be doing
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that contributes to
their lack of interest?
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Well, I was
going back and forth.
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Sure, it doesn't help.
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You know, when I looked at it,
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I mean, you know, I
never saw myself like that.
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When I looked at it,
it was just very negative.
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You know, the whole tone
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and the
atmosphere was very negative.
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And that's not what
I'm trying to create,
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I mean, you know,
I want my children
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to have their own
relationship with the Lord.
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I think praying for each
other and about each other,
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we didn't do
prayer right at all.
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It was very negative.
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It was like some
beating each other
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over the head with prayer.
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Yeah, that was horrible.
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Yes.
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So how long do you
think you've been doing that?
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Probably for a while.
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Yeah, I mean...
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You know, you
don't really see yourself
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until you see
yourself and then, you know...
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Also this tape, this video was
pretty good for you, all right?
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It's very
helpful. Yeah. Yes and no.
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Yeah.
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Why no?
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Because it just
looked, it was terrible.
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I didn't think I acted like that
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but when I saw myself, I
really didn't like myself.
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Okay. So do you act this
way outside of family devotion?
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Are you doing it
there too? Probably.
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I mean, I can't really say
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'cause again you're
not seeing yourself,
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but it seems typical, you know?
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So let me ask you does she act
that way outside of devotion.
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Yes, she does.
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You didn't have
to say that so quick.
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Express to her what she's
doing outside of devotion.
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Well, blaming me for
things in front of them
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and arguing with me,
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which you take that
back into our bedroom,
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not in front of the whole house.
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Well, you
started most of the time.
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Well, she asked me.
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Right. I did. So what about him?
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Is he that way? Yes, he is.
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You know, he comes in...
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And, you know, I
really want him to be lead out
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and be the leader in the home
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and then a lot of
times, he won't say anything,
00:06:08.63\00:06:10.07
he'll go off into his corner
or his television, remote,
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and everything and
do what he wants to do.
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And then the house is falling
apart around him, and nothing.
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yeah, I kind of
picked it up in the video
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a little bit of aloofness.
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When you said,
you did your devotion
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in the shower
yesterday a little bit...
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Ain't that crazy?
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That's the
craziest thing I ever heard.
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But it was the time that I just
had prayer, I had prayer there,
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and it was my
worship for the morning.
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I was running late. Okay.
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All right, I mean...
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Well, you need to get up early,
you set the alarm and then...
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Well, I was running late.
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You set the alarm,
and you turn it off
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five or six different times.
00:06:38.59\00:06:39.93
Well, let's go to the children.
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How do you think
this affect the children,
00:06:41.80\00:06:43.67
the bickering in
the family devotion,
00:06:43.70\00:06:45.77
the aloofness
in family devotion,
00:06:45.80\00:06:47.90
the howling and
screaming in family?
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How is that affecting them?
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They don't want to be around us,
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they don't want to participate,
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you know, they're disrespectful,
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they're disobedient.
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I think they've
learned their disrespect
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from how we
disrespect each other.
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Oh, okay. Wow,
that's a lot of insight.
00:07:01.65\00:07:03.89
Yeah.
00:07:03.92\00:07:05.25
Now after looking at that video.
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Okay.
00:07:06.65\00:07:07.99
So in general
they're disrespectful to you?
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General? Yes.
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So it's not
just family devotion?
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No. No.
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Oh, okay. No.
00:07:14.86\00:07:16.70
So are the
children the only ones
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that are disrespectful
in family devotion?
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No. No.
00:07:20.07\00:07:21.40
I mean, you
heard him on that tape,
00:07:21.44\00:07:22.77
he came down and saying he
had devotion in the shower.
00:07:22.80\00:07:24.87
What is that?
00:07:24.91\00:07:26.24
I mean, how do we
get the family together
00:07:26.27\00:07:27.61
when he's talking about
he had it in his shower?
00:07:27.64\00:07:28.98
Well, I was
praying in the shower.
00:07:29.01\00:07:30.45
So I had my prayer,
00:07:30.48\00:07:31.81
and I was rushing,
and I needed to go.
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Okay. So...
00:07:33.75\00:07:35.08
But that's crazy.
00:07:35.12\00:07:36.45
I mean, if we're going
to have family worship,
00:07:36.48\00:07:37.82
we're going to
have family worship.
00:07:37.85\00:07:39.19
We should have got up
earlier. That was the problem.
00:07:39.22\00:07:40.62
No, you should
have got up earlier.
00:07:40.66\00:07:41.99
We were all running late.
00:07:42.02\00:07:43.36
That was the issue.
00:07:43.39\00:07:44.73
So I took up on myself.
00:07:44.76\00:07:46.09
Don't put it on me. You
should have got up earlier.
00:07:46.13\00:07:47.46
I took up on myself to
have prayer in the shower.
00:07:47.50\00:07:48.83
You should have
called family worship.
00:07:48.86\00:07:50.20
This is your
responsibility anyway.
00:07:50.23\00:07:51.57
Okay, so this
has happened often?
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Yeah. She's always
pushing and pulling.
00:07:54.04\00:07:55.90
She wants it her
way all the time.
00:07:55.94\00:07:57.71
It's not my way.
It's the Lord's way.
00:07:57.74\00:07:59.71
We should be having worship
00:07:59.74\00:08:01.08
every morning with the children.
00:08:01.11\00:08:02.44
She calls her
way the Lord's way.
00:08:02.48\00:08:03.91
It is her way. Okay.
00:08:03.95\00:08:05.38
So let's take a
look at the children
00:08:05.41\00:08:07.42
and how this may be
affecting them, this bickering.
00:08:07.45\00:08:10.99
So how do you
think this affect them?
00:08:11.02\00:08:12.72
They're disrespectful.
00:08:12.75\00:08:14.09
She doesn't care where she is,
00:08:14.12\00:08:15.72
where we are in the
house when she comes at me.
00:08:15.76\00:08:17.89
What you mean I
don't care? You don't care.
00:08:17.93\00:08:19.26
We could all be in the kitchen,
everybody is in the kitchen,
00:08:19.29\00:08:20.83
and she just comes right at me.
00:08:20.86\00:08:22.40
She says leave that
in the bedroom somewhere,
00:08:22.43\00:08:24.40
don't come out in front of them,
00:08:24.43\00:08:26.13
they see all this
stuff coming from her.
00:08:26.17\00:08:28.10
No, it's not just coming
from me, it's coming from you,
00:08:28.14\00:08:30.61
you started most of the time.
00:08:30.64\00:08:31.97
No.
00:08:32.01\00:08:33.34
Have you guys tried talking
about this calmly together?
00:08:33.38\00:08:36.88
No, if I try to talk
to her about something,
00:08:36.91\00:08:38.78
she comes, she snaps at me,
00:08:38.81\00:08:40.25
and then I don't
want to hear it anymore.
00:08:40.28\00:08:41.75
So I leave her alone.
00:08:41.78\00:08:43.12
He never
listens. He never listens.
00:08:43.15\00:08:44.59
Were you aware
that he felt this way
00:08:44.62\00:08:46.45
about your discussing issue?
00:08:46.49\00:08:48.99
Oh, she knows.
00:08:49.02\00:08:50.36
She knows, I
tell her all the time.
00:08:50.39\00:08:52.09
Okay.
00:08:52.13\00:08:53.46
Well, excuse me, but I
just thought you're saying,
00:08:53.50\00:08:54.96
you had not actually
spoken to her calmly about this.
00:08:55.00\00:08:58.23
Well, it might
not have been calmly.
00:08:58.27\00:08:59.60
He hasn't. Okay.
00:08:59.63\00:09:00.97
You know that...
You see how he acts.
00:09:01.00\00:09:03.07
You know that
when people are angry,
00:09:03.10\00:09:05.44
you usually do
just stop listening.
00:09:05.47\00:09:08.38
So maybe we can try a listening
exercise just right now,
00:09:08.41\00:09:11.61
just something, calm down...
00:09:11.65\00:09:13.21
That's a very good
thing you just did,
00:09:13.25\00:09:14.78
that deep breath, although,
00:09:14.82\00:09:16.79
I don't think that
deep breath meant what I...
00:09:16.82\00:09:18.79
No, I didn't.
00:09:18.82\00:09:20.16
Okay. Let's do it like this.
00:09:20.19\00:09:21.52
Let's breathe in, breathe in.
00:09:21.56\00:09:24.06
Let your shoulders
drop and breathe out.
00:09:24.09\00:09:26.36
Okay, now I want you
to hear what he's saying,
00:09:26.39\00:09:28.90
I want you to lower your voice.
00:09:28.93\00:09:30.27
Tell her how you're feeling
00:09:30.30\00:09:32.37
when she's coming at
you in front of the kids.
00:09:32.40\00:09:35.00
Well, first of
all, I don't need to...
00:09:35.04\00:09:36.40
I say one question. A question?
00:09:36.44\00:09:38.37
Okay, how do you feel
when she's coming at you?
00:09:38.41\00:09:41.14
I feel degraded, disrespected.
00:09:41.18\00:09:44.15
I don't feel like the man
or the leader of the home.
00:09:44.18\00:09:47.22
Okay.
00:09:47.25\00:09:48.58
So did you hear him?
00:09:48.62\00:09:51.05
Yes, I heard
him. What did he say?
00:09:51.09\00:09:53.19
He said he
doesn't feel like the man.
00:09:53.22\00:09:55.46
But he said more than that.
00:09:55.49\00:09:57.76
What else did he say?
00:09:57.79\00:09:59.13
He said he feels disrespected.
00:09:59.16\00:10:01.03
Okay. And what else?
00:10:01.06\00:10:04.13
I don't know
what else. Degraded!
00:10:04.17\00:10:05.87
Excuse me, just say it
again in the nice calm tone.
00:10:05.90\00:10:07.44
Sorry. I'm sorry.
00:10:07.47\00:10:09.57
Degraded.
00:10:09.60\00:10:10.94
Could you say the
whole sentence in a calm way?
00:10:10.97\00:10:12.84
I feel degraded.
00:10:12.87\00:10:14.28
But how to... You know what?
00:10:14.31\00:10:15.64
See, I don't understand that
00:10:15.68\00:10:17.01
because if I don't call worship,
00:10:17.05\00:10:18.88
then it doesn't get done.
00:10:18.91\00:10:20.42
He doesn't call it.
00:10:20.45\00:10:21.78
It's not that you're calling
worship that's the problem.
00:10:21.82\00:10:24.19
I think he's saying
how you call worship
00:10:24.22\00:10:27.06
and how you speak to him.
00:10:27.09\00:10:28.62
That's a problem for him.
00:10:28.66\00:10:30.56
He feels degraded.
00:10:30.59\00:10:31.93
Well, he knows every morning
that we should have worship.
00:10:31.96\00:10:35.16
He can call it,
but he just never does.
00:10:35.20\00:10:37.33
Okay. And so you
choose to call it, right?
00:10:37.37\00:10:41.64
Yes.
00:10:41.67\00:10:43.00
Okay. So it's a choice you make.
00:10:43.04\00:10:44.37
Yes.
00:10:44.41\00:10:45.74
Now he's saying,
you've made a choice,
00:10:45.77\00:10:48.01
and the way you choose
to carry out your decision
00:10:48.04\00:10:52.78
makes him feel degraded.
00:10:52.81\00:10:56.48
But it's not limited to that.
00:10:56.52\00:10:58.02
Okay, so he can just do it.
00:10:58.05\00:10:59.75
He can do it.
00:10:59.79\00:11:01.46
He can make that choice.
00:11:01.49\00:11:04.16
And you have to
accept his choice.
00:11:04.19\00:11:06.29
Yes, I don't have
a problem with that.
00:11:06.33\00:11:07.76
So the question
from me to you is,
00:11:07.80\00:11:11.67
do you understand what it
feels like to be degraded?
00:11:11.70\00:11:15.17
Yes. Okay.
00:11:15.20\00:11:16.54
All the time.
00:11:16.57\00:11:17.91
So now I want to
switch this over.
00:11:17.94\00:11:20.51
And I'm going to ask
you to speak to him calmly
00:11:20.54\00:11:26.18
about what you are feeling.
00:11:26.21\00:11:29.58
One issue concerning devotion.
00:11:29.62\00:11:35.26
Okay.
00:11:35.29\00:11:37.49
I really want us to
have a better relationship
00:11:37.53\00:11:41.50
with the Lord.
00:11:41.53\00:11:42.86
And I really need you
to man up and call worship.
00:11:42.90\00:11:47.34
Excuse me, could you
say that in a kinder way?
00:11:47.37\00:11:50.87
And what I will like from you.
00:11:50.91\00:11:55.01
Could you do that?
00:11:55.04\00:11:58.18
Okay.
00:11:58.21\00:11:59.88
Sweetheart... That's nice.
00:11:59.91\00:12:02.52
Very kind. Keep going.
00:12:02.55\00:12:06.55
Can you be the
worship leader in our home?
00:12:06.59\00:12:09.86
Excuse me, "Will you
be the worship leader?"
00:12:09.89\00:12:12.83
He can do it, but
is he willing to do it.
00:12:12.86\00:12:15.46
Oh.
00:12:15.50\00:12:18.17
Honey bunches of oats,
00:12:18.20\00:12:21.87
will you be the
worship leader in our home?
00:12:21.90\00:12:24.17
Okay, now let me
ask you say this to you.
00:12:24.21\00:12:26.88
When you say that to
him now you relinquish power
00:12:26.91\00:12:30.48
or how it's going to be done.
00:12:30.51\00:12:33.01
I have no problem with that.
00:12:33.05\00:12:34.38
Okay, so that
means that if he chooses
00:12:34.42\00:12:36.48
not to do
devotion in the morning,
00:12:36.52\00:12:38.45
which may be a good
idea or not a good idea,
00:12:38.49\00:12:41.52
you're going to accept that.
00:12:41.56\00:12:44.43
Otherwise, if this particular
thing is very important,
00:12:44.46\00:12:49.90
that may be the
devotion that you continue...
00:12:49.93\00:12:53.94
So what about if he
chooses not to do it at all
00:12:53.97\00:12:55.80
and the whole day goes by?
00:12:55.84\00:12:57.17
Because the whole point we
had this is to put the Lord
00:12:57.21\00:13:00.04
in front of us at
the beginning of the day.
00:13:00.08\00:13:01.41
Her way. Her way.
00:13:01.44\00:13:02.78
Understood. No.
00:13:02.81\00:13:04.15
I understand that.
00:13:04.18\00:13:05.51
That's about giving the
Lord the first part of your day,
00:13:05.55\00:13:07.08
just like you give
your tithe and offering,
00:13:07.12\00:13:08.45
give the Lord the first part.
00:13:08.48\00:13:09.82
Okay. That's true.
00:13:09.85\00:13:11.49
And that's a good idea.
00:13:11.52\00:13:13.25
If we can look at
good, better, and best, okay,
00:13:13.29\00:13:17.06
it would be best for everyone
00:13:17.09\00:13:19.36
to do family
devotion in the morning.
00:13:19.39\00:13:22.00
I agree with that.
00:13:22.03\00:13:23.37
I really believe that.
00:13:23.40\00:13:25.53
But it may happen
that it doesn't get done.
00:13:25.57\00:13:30.11
The question is
can you live like that.
00:13:30.14\00:13:33.01
Not every day, but it may
happen that way sometimes.
00:13:33.04\00:13:37.11
Well, if he would just get up.
00:13:37.15\00:13:38.81
Well, but you can still
choose to do to lead out.
00:13:38.85\00:13:43.75
Do you think it's a
good idea for both of us
00:13:43.79\00:13:45.55
to come together before we
even leave out the bedroom?
00:13:45.59\00:13:48.46
Come together on one accord
00:13:48.49\00:13:50.33
and then we go to
the children together
00:13:50.36\00:13:52.19
'cause she does it her
way and then she fusses at me
00:13:52.23\00:13:55.66
because I complain
about the way she did it.
00:13:55.70\00:13:57.20
Okay, well, you
know what, I like that,
00:13:57.23\00:13:59.90
which you're saying to
me is it a good idea for us
00:13:59.93\00:14:03.30
to pray together
before we leave the bedroom.
00:14:03.34\00:14:06.21
What do you think about
that? Yeah, I agree with that.
00:14:06.24\00:14:09.14
And that's a
suggestion from your husband
00:14:09.18\00:14:11.01
who wants to lead out,
00:14:11.05\00:14:12.38
so he's going to
start it in the bedroom.
00:14:12.41\00:14:14.68
I agree with
that. Excellent idea.
00:14:14.72\00:14:16.38
So you're going to
have it every morning,
00:14:16.42\00:14:17.75
you're going to
call it every morning?
00:14:17.79\00:14:19.12
Well, you know
what, if he calls it,
00:14:19.15\00:14:22.62
it's a good thing.
00:14:22.66\00:14:23.99
But if he doesn't,
I can call it, right?
00:14:24.03\00:14:25.36
Yes.
00:14:25.39\00:14:26.73
But how you call it,
00:14:26.76\00:14:28.10
it's not that you're
calling that's a problem
00:14:28.13\00:14:30.30
but if you're going
to say, "Oh, yeah, pray!"
00:14:30.33\00:14:34.24
What good does a
prayer do, right?
00:14:34.27\00:14:37.11
Well, that's because
they get on my nerves.
00:14:37.14\00:14:39.61
You know, it could just
be simple, it could be short,
00:14:39.64\00:14:42.78
it could be sweet,
00:14:42.81\00:14:44.75
but it's like pulling
teeth and get them to come.
00:14:44.78\00:14:46.88
Okay. Well, let's
lower all of that energy.
00:14:46.92\00:14:50.79
Lower all of that.
00:14:50.82\00:14:52.15
Let's come to the table
00:14:52.19\00:14:53.92
with a nice, clean
slate which releases...
00:14:53.96\00:14:58.09
Let's talk about strategies
00:14:58.13\00:14:59.66
so that they
won't get on your nerves
00:14:59.69\00:15:02.80
because I believe devotion
time is really a great time.
00:15:02.83\00:15:06.70
I agree with you
completely on that.
00:15:06.74\00:15:08.87
And so we have to
come together calmly,
00:15:08.90\00:15:13.01
so pay attention
to how you're feeling.
00:15:13.04\00:15:16.48
If you're expecting
people to fight up against you,
00:15:16.51\00:15:19.51
you're coming in
with your dukes loaded,
00:15:19.55\00:15:21.68
and I'm ready to
have family devotion.
00:15:21.72\00:15:24.25
You know, we're
not coming like that.
00:15:24.29\00:15:26.49
And you know what else?
00:15:26.52\00:15:28.49
The Holy Spirit
can't work with our minds
00:15:28.52\00:15:30.63
if we're set on exactly
00:15:30.66\00:15:33.80
how family
devotion should be done,
00:15:33.83\00:15:35.73
the minute it is
supposed to be done.
00:15:35.76\00:15:37.50
We have to be a
little bit more open
00:15:37.53\00:15:39.83
and receptive to
allow the Spirit of God
00:15:39.87\00:15:42.47
to do some work in this.
00:15:42.50\00:15:43.97
What do you think about that?
00:15:44.01\00:15:45.74
I agree with
that. I agree with that.
00:15:45.77\00:15:47.11
I agree. I agree with that.
00:15:47.14\00:15:48.48
So it's how we do it.
00:15:48.51\00:15:49.84
I think that's going
to be really important.
00:15:49.88\00:15:52.95
You do have children.
00:15:52.98\00:15:54.32
So they probably don't
really understand testimonies,
00:15:54.35\00:15:58.02
they probably really
don't understand that.
00:15:58.05\00:16:00.92
Prayer, they
need to be encouraged
00:16:00.96\00:16:04.16
to have individual prayer first.
00:16:04.19\00:16:06.96
They can do any
of their big ones
00:16:07.00\00:16:08.43
when you're doing yours,
00:16:08.46\00:16:09.80
and we are not
in control of that.
00:16:09.83\00:16:11.63
Okay, it can be a one
sentence prayer or almost...
00:16:11.67\00:16:14.07
Yeah, I mean, I
want them to pray more.
00:16:14.10\00:16:15.67
Okay. Yeah, on their own.
00:16:15.70\00:16:17.41
That's part of developing
00:16:17.44\00:16:18.77
their own
relationship with the Lord.
00:16:18.81\00:16:20.14
Very good. So we're
going to allow them to do that.
00:16:20.18\00:16:22.78
Okay.
00:16:22.81\00:16:24.15
Could you take out your pens
00:16:24.18\00:16:25.51
as we're talking
about these strategies?
00:16:25.55\00:16:26.88
Okay. Okay.
00:16:26.92\00:16:28.25
So we want them to
pray for themselves.
00:16:28.28\00:16:30.52
Okay. Okay.
00:16:30.55\00:16:32.05
We want to have couple
prayer in your bedroom.
00:16:32.09\00:16:34.62
Okay.
00:16:34.66\00:16:36.99
And then you guys
can go and pick up
00:16:37.03\00:16:39.93
music from the store.
00:16:39.96\00:16:42.20
Well, we can get
that off the internet.
00:16:42.23\00:16:43.77
I mean, we can download...
00:16:43.80\00:16:45.13
So you're going to
buy some off the internet?
00:16:45.17\00:16:46.67
Yes. Okay.
00:16:46.70\00:16:48.04
And then your final one
is, this is really important,
00:16:48.07\00:16:53.51
stop while they're still
enjoying family devotion.
00:16:53.54\00:16:56.68
And the reason I say that is
because a pattern has been set
00:16:56.71\00:17:00.32
where the children are coming
00:17:00.35\00:17:03.28
to family devotion angry already
00:17:03.32\00:17:05.25
because they already
know what's going to happen.
00:17:05.29\00:17:07.26
So we want to
switch that pattern up.
00:17:07.29\00:17:09.16
So we want to
make family devotion
00:17:09.19\00:17:10.86
very short, very sweet,
00:17:10.89\00:17:12.83
you can even incorporate
a nice little trinket
00:17:12.86\00:17:15.50
or something every now and then.
00:17:15.53\00:17:18.07
We want them say, "Family
devotion's over already?"
00:17:18.10\00:17:22.10
And when we see that
we have something, okay?
00:17:22.14\00:17:25.87
So when you say trinket,
you mean like gifts, like...
00:17:25.91\00:17:29.01
You can do a little
gift if you want to,
00:17:29.04\00:17:30.88
it could be new music.
00:17:30.91\00:17:32.78
It could be anything, you know,
it could be breakfast today.
00:17:32.81\00:17:36.22
So just making
it family devotion
00:17:36.25\00:17:39.49
more interesting for
them and for yourselves, okay?
00:17:39.52\00:17:42.22
Okay. Okay.
00:17:42.26\00:17:43.59
All right, so we're out of time.
00:17:43.63\00:17:45.53
So next week let's come back
00:17:45.56\00:17:47.20
and let's see put
something in place,
00:17:47.23\00:17:49.56
especially the prayer, I
think that's very important.
00:17:49.60\00:17:51.87
In fact, let us
have a word of prayer
00:17:51.90\00:17:53.67
before we leave, okay?
00:17:53.70\00:17:55.04
Okay. So let's pray right now.
00:17:55.07\00:17:59.31
Most Honorable Father,
00:17:59.34\00:18:00.68
we thank You so much for
the gift of family devotion,
00:18:00.71\00:18:03.31
we thank You for each other.
00:18:03.35\00:18:04.88
And, Lord, we ask that
You will heal this family
00:18:04.91\00:18:07.32
that You call them to have peace
00:18:07.35\00:18:09.32
and gratitude and
graciousness towards each other
00:18:09.35\00:18:12.35
and to glorify You
in all that they do,
00:18:12.39\00:18:14.46
in Jesus' name we
pray and praise You always.
00:18:14.49\00:18:16.93
Amen. Amen.
00:18:16.96\00:18:18.29
Amen. You guys have a great day.
00:18:18.33\00:18:19.66
All right.
00:18:19.69\00:18:21.03
And I look forward
to seeing you next week.
00:18:21.06\00:18:22.40
All right, thank you. Thank you.
00:18:22.43\00:18:25.90
So how are you doing? Fine.
00:18:25.93\00:18:27.87
We're doing much better.
00:18:27.90\00:18:29.24
You guys seem to be
much more calm today
00:18:29.27\00:18:30.91
than you were
when I first saw you.
00:18:30.94\00:18:33.11
We are. We are. Thanks to you.
00:18:33.14\00:18:34.48
You know, we put some of
your strategies into practice.
00:18:34.51\00:18:36.44
Oh, good, good.
00:18:36.48\00:18:37.81
You know, we started praying,
00:18:37.85\00:18:39.18
before worship he and
I together and that...
00:18:39.21\00:18:41.82
You have no idea the
difference that that made.
00:18:41.85\00:18:43.75
It makes a big difference.
00:18:43.79\00:18:45.12
Yeah. It did. It really did.
00:18:45.15\00:18:46.49
We went in together
00:18:46.52\00:18:47.86
with the same
idea as a same tone.
00:18:47.89\00:18:50.26
She was in on her tone
and my tone was different,
00:18:50.29\00:18:53.16
we did it together.
00:18:53.19\00:18:54.53
He started calling worship.
00:18:54.56\00:18:56.33
Oh, good, good, good.
00:18:56.36\00:18:59.03
So did you stand at the
bottom of the steps and say,
00:18:59.07\00:19:01.07
"It's time for worship!"
00:19:01.10\00:19:02.44
No, no.
00:19:02.47\00:19:03.81
We did it a whole different way.
00:19:03.84\00:19:05.17
We took your suggestion,
00:19:05.21\00:19:06.54
and we went into
the children's rooms.
00:19:06.57\00:19:07.91
Oh, good. You know?
00:19:07.94\00:19:09.28
And just kind of
nudged them awake,
00:19:09.31\00:19:10.78
you know, and said, you
know, "Hey, let's have worship."
00:19:10.81\00:19:14.48
Asked if they had any ideas
of what they want to bring,
00:19:14.52\00:19:17.49
we made it shorter.
00:19:17.52\00:19:18.85
That helped a lot.
00:19:18.89\00:19:20.22
Good. Good.
00:19:20.26\00:19:21.59
Well, I wanted to say
thank you again for allowing us
00:19:21.62\00:19:24.49
to put a camera in your home
00:19:24.53\00:19:25.86
so that we could see
00:19:25.89\00:19:27.26
how the strategies
were working for you.
00:19:27.30\00:19:29.36
So let's take a
look at the video
00:19:29.40\00:19:31.43
and see what happened.
00:19:31.47\00:19:32.80
Okay. Okay.
00:19:32.83\00:19:34.30
Let's have family worship
before we get out of here
00:19:34.34\00:19:36.37
and get started on our day.
00:19:36.40\00:19:37.74
I have a testimony.
00:19:37.77\00:19:39.11
I have one too.
00:19:39.14\00:19:40.48
Oh, great. That's great.
00:19:40.51\00:19:41.84
So we open with prayer
00:19:41.88\00:19:43.45
and then we can
hear the testimonies.
00:19:43.48\00:19:44.91
How about that? Okay.
00:19:44.95\00:19:46.28
Let's bow our heads.
00:19:46.31\00:19:47.65
Dear Lord Jesus, we bow
thanking You and praising You
00:19:47.68\00:19:50.45
for all the wonderful
things You've done for us.
00:19:50.49\00:19:53.02
Send Your Holy
Spirit to be with us
00:19:53.05\00:19:54.52
as we worship You
today in Jesus' name we pray.
00:19:54.56\00:19:56.86
Amen. Amen.
00:19:56.89\00:19:58.59
So Justina, honey,
what's your testimony?
00:19:58.63\00:20:00.60
Well, last week, I
had my spelling test.
00:20:00.63\00:20:03.67
And I prayed, and I
studied for this test.
00:20:03.70\00:20:07.34
And when she
gave them back to us,
00:20:07.37\00:20:08.80
I realized I didn't get
a higher score than Jaden,
00:20:08.84\00:20:12.21
but I tried my best.
00:20:12.24\00:20:13.84
Well, weren't you trying to
get a better score than her?
00:20:13.88\00:20:16.81
Yeah, but I realized
that it didn't really matter
00:20:16.85\00:20:19.91
because I beat my personal best.
00:20:19.95\00:20:21.85
You go, girl. I'm proud of you.
00:20:21.88\00:20:23.92
That's great. That is great.
00:20:23.95\00:20:25.29
It's all about doing your best,
00:20:25.32\00:20:26.96
and you didn't worry about
competing with anybody else.
00:20:26.99\00:20:29.96
You know, that reminds
me of Philippians 4:13,
00:20:29.99\00:20:33.09
"I can do all things through
Christ which strengthens me."
00:20:33.13\00:20:37.07
We need to
remember that all day today.
00:20:37.10\00:20:39.10
Just keep it in
your mind all day.
00:20:39.13\00:20:41.87
Jerry, what's your testimony?
00:20:41.90\00:20:43.84
I saved a little kid
from being bullied yesterday.
00:20:43.87\00:20:46.37
Oh, wow.
00:20:46.41\00:20:47.94
One of my friends is
messing with a little kid,
00:20:47.98\00:20:50.31
and I told him that
he was being a coward
00:20:50.35\00:20:52.18
by messing with little kids.
00:20:52.21\00:20:54.95
So I told him to come on
00:20:54.98\00:20:56.32
and play ball with us and
leave the little kids alone.
00:20:56.35\00:20:58.79
Oh, good. Honey, that was great.
00:20:58.82\00:21:01.32
Good job, Jerry.
00:21:01.36\00:21:02.69
It took a lot of courage
00:21:02.72\00:21:04.06
to stand up to
your friend like that
00:21:04.09\00:21:05.63
and to take up
for that little kid.
00:21:05.66\00:21:08.20
So let's close out in prayer.
00:21:08.23\00:21:09.96
Okay. And I'll say a prayer.
00:21:10.00\00:21:11.33
All right.
00:21:11.37\00:21:12.70
Dear kind gracious
loving heavenly Father,
00:21:12.73\00:21:14.07
God, we thank You so
much for this family, Lord.
00:21:14.10\00:21:16.34
And we thank You
for the blessings
00:21:16.37\00:21:17.94
that You have given to us.
00:21:17.97\00:21:19.41
And now as we go
out and start our day,
00:21:19.44\00:21:21.64
we ask for the presence of
Your Holy Spirit to go before us
00:21:21.68\00:21:24.81
and to protect
us and keep us safe
00:21:24.85\00:21:26.38
in Jesus' name we pray.
00:21:26.41\00:21:27.75
Amen. Amen.
00:21:27.78\00:21:29.12
So let's get
ready, get out of here,
00:21:29.15\00:21:30.49
but before we go,
what do we always try to do
00:21:30.52\00:21:32.69
when we go out into
the world every day?
00:21:32.72\00:21:35.26
Tell the world about Jesus
00:21:35.29\00:21:39.46
Tell them about His love
00:21:39.49\00:21:43.80
Tell the world about Jesus
00:21:43.83\00:21:48.07
Tell them about His love
00:21:48.10\00:21:51.77
You guys did a great job.
00:21:51.81\00:21:54.01
Now I can probably guess which
strategies were your favorite,
00:21:54.04\00:21:57.25
but tell me which
ones were your favorite?
00:21:57.28\00:21:59.11
Well, you know
what, we found music.
00:21:59.15\00:22:00.98
You heard us, we found music
00:22:01.02\00:22:02.52
that we could sing
as a family together.
00:22:02.55\00:22:04.99
Oh, that was better
than actually buying music.
00:22:05.02\00:22:07.19
Yes, it was.
00:22:07.22\00:22:08.66
But we allowed them to
also bring their stories,
00:22:08.69\00:22:11.79
things that were
important to them.
00:22:11.83\00:22:13.19
Yes. And so they were included.
00:22:13.23\00:22:15.80
So we like that.
00:22:15.83\00:22:17.17
And things that made
them kind of shine, you know?
00:22:17.20\00:22:20.30
And, I mean to tell you
I was so proud of my kids.
00:22:20.34\00:22:23.81
You know, that they were
learning some life lessons
00:22:23.84\00:22:26.17
and then sharing
them with us in worship.
00:22:26.21\00:22:28.04
It was great.
00:22:28.08\00:22:29.41
They were totally
different than before.
00:22:29.44\00:22:30.78
Okay. Okay.
00:22:30.81\00:22:32.15
Now I see some
changes in the children.
00:22:32.18\00:22:33.52
But do you see changes in them?
00:22:33.55\00:22:34.88
What kind of
changes are you seeing?
00:22:34.92\00:22:36.79
Well, they were
calm, they were involved,
00:22:36.82\00:22:39.59
before they would
just recluse themselves
00:22:39.62\00:22:42.19
and didn't want to be
even in the room with us.
00:22:42.22\00:22:45.19
And they seem
more self-confident
00:22:45.23\00:22:46.80
because we've been
allowing them to take charge.
00:22:46.83\00:22:49.26
Yes.
00:22:49.30\00:22:50.63
You know, and they
look forward to worship.
00:22:50.67\00:22:52.00
Sometimes they're like,
"Worship is over already?"
00:22:52.03\00:22:54.47
Can you believe that? Yes.
00:22:54.50\00:22:55.94
That is great.
00:22:55.97\00:22:57.31
Now I have one question for you.
00:22:57.34\00:22:58.67
Are you seeing
these same changes
00:22:58.71\00:23:00.44
outside of family devotion?
00:23:00.48\00:23:02.58
Yes, they're more obedient.
00:23:02.61\00:23:04.68
Oh, really?
00:23:04.71\00:23:06.78
They are. They're more obedient.
00:23:06.82\00:23:08.15
I know you're happy about that.
00:23:08.18\00:23:09.52
They actually
finished their chores
00:23:09.55\00:23:10.89
that we've asked them to do,
00:23:10.92\00:23:12.42
without any
arguing or bickering.
00:23:12.45\00:23:13.79
They're more respectful.
00:23:13.82\00:23:15.22
You know, the kids used to say,
00:23:15.26\00:23:17.29
"Well, when you
respect us, we'll respect you."
00:23:17.33\00:23:19.19
Well, I thought
that was nonsense.
00:23:19.23\00:23:20.56
Right. But
there's something to that.
00:23:20.60\00:23:22.56
You know, if you treat
your children as human beings,
00:23:22.60\00:23:25.63
children of God,
you know, they change.
00:23:25.67\00:23:28.90
And we're still
working on some things,
00:23:28.94\00:23:30.57
everything is not just perfect.
00:23:30.61\00:23:31.94
But we're still
working on some things,
00:23:31.97\00:23:33.51
but it's a big
change from before.
00:23:33.54\00:23:35.98
And he led out,
did you notice that?
00:23:36.01\00:23:37.68
He led out. I did.
00:23:37.71\00:23:39.31
And you seem to
be just as happy.
00:23:39.35\00:23:41.42
I was.
00:23:41.45\00:23:42.98
So I do want to know what things
00:23:43.02\00:23:44.82
are you still working on.
00:23:44.85\00:23:46.76
Well, when I see something that
I don't like, I've learned...
00:23:46.79\00:23:50.26
You taught me last time to take
a deep breath and just stop.
00:23:50.29\00:23:54.96
And then I could
think a little bit better
00:23:55.00\00:23:56.73
about what my response should
be instead of just reacting.
00:23:56.77\00:24:00.40
And, you know, like before,
00:24:00.44\00:24:02.20
you know, when they said
00:24:02.24\00:24:03.57
something crazy
or a whining out,
00:24:03.61\00:24:05.04
I just, you know, would add them
00:24:05.07\00:24:07.18
but now it's like, okay,
let's take a different approach
00:24:07.21\00:24:10.15
and just kind of
leave them from that
00:24:10.18\00:24:12.78
to where I want them to be.
00:24:12.81\00:24:14.15
Yeah, so we call
that like a hook.
00:24:14.18\00:24:15.95
Sometimes they could
hook you, they know...
00:24:15.98\00:24:18.55
Your son knows you
don't like rap music,
00:24:18.59\00:24:20.62
so he's going
to come in and say,
00:24:20.66\00:24:22.49
"Oh, I want to sing rap music."
00:24:22.52\00:24:24.33
And you're going
to get out of control,
00:24:24.36\00:24:26.73
the dad is going
to get out of control.
00:24:26.76\00:24:28.63
And they're controlling
your whole family devotion.
00:24:28.66\00:24:32.83
But this way, stepping
back, thinking about it,
00:24:32.87\00:24:36.47
and some stuff
you can just bypass,
00:24:36.50\00:24:37.94
you don't even have to say
anything about it, it's just...
00:24:37.97\00:24:39.31
All right, did you notice
00:24:39.34\00:24:40.68
we had a little bit
harmony going there...
00:24:40.71\00:24:42.04
I heard that. I heard that.
00:24:42.08\00:24:43.55
I was thinking maybe
you're going to get a record.
00:24:43.58\00:24:46.38
Go to family choir.
00:24:46.41\00:24:47.75
So only for
family devotion, okay.
00:24:47.78\00:24:50.09
So how did it...
00:24:50.12\00:24:51.92
Making those changes
00:24:51.95\00:24:53.29
change your
relationship with each other?
00:24:53.32\00:24:55.56
Well, we're more
respectful of each other too.
00:24:55.59\00:24:56.93
We don't fuss. Yeah.
00:24:56.96\00:24:59.23
We don't fuss as much.
00:24:59.26\00:25:01.10
There's stuff
that's still irritates us.
00:25:01.13\00:25:03.63
I think we take a
different approach.
00:25:03.67\00:25:06.63
I don't think we're
stressed out with each other,
00:25:06.67\00:25:08.70
you know, which changes
00:25:08.74\00:25:10.81
the whole tone of the house too.
00:25:10.84\00:25:12.57
Right.
00:25:12.61\00:25:13.94
So you had some
very specific ideas about
00:25:13.98\00:25:17.18
how family
worship should be done
00:25:17.21\00:25:19.28
and when it should be done.
00:25:19.31\00:25:20.78
What's it like making
all these big changes?
00:25:20.82\00:25:23.35
You know what, for
real, I really didn't care.
00:25:23.39\00:25:26.19
It didn't have to be my way.
00:25:26.22\00:25:28.02
I just knew
that it was important
00:25:28.06\00:25:30.46
to bring the family
together to do that.
00:25:30.49\00:25:32.79
And actually, I'm perfectly fine
00:25:32.83\00:25:34.70
with my husband leading out
00:25:34.73\00:25:36.30
or the kids
bringing their ideas.
00:25:36.33\00:25:37.90
You know,
sometimes we have to kind of,
00:25:37.93\00:25:39.87
you know, channel
them a little bit,
00:25:39.90\00:25:41.60
but I'm
perfectly fine with that.
00:25:41.64\00:25:43.51
I really am.
00:25:43.54\00:25:44.87
If you could give another family
00:25:44.91\00:25:46.51
who is having the same problems
00:25:46.54\00:25:49.14
one strategy
that they need to do
00:25:49.18\00:25:51.71
to help get back on track,
00:25:51.75\00:25:53.52
which one would you choose?
00:25:53.55\00:25:55.18
Just one.
00:25:55.22\00:25:56.55
I would say pray more and
be led by the Holy Spirit.
00:25:56.58\00:26:00.26
Oh, I agree with that. Yeah.
00:26:00.29\00:26:01.89
'Cause the Holy Spirit knows
exactly how to approach them
00:26:01.92\00:26:05.03
and sometimes we
do it the wrong way,
00:26:05.06\00:26:07.73
many times we do
it the wrong way.
00:26:07.76\00:26:09.16
So let the Lord lead.
00:26:09.20\00:26:11.13
And so now I have
advanced strategies
00:26:11.17\00:26:13.10
for my advanced families.
00:26:13.13\00:26:14.47
Oh, my
goodness, we've graduated.
00:26:14.50\00:26:15.84
You have graduated.
00:26:15.87\00:26:17.21
Okay, so the first
thing I want you to do
00:26:17.24\00:26:18.71
is do the unexpected
sometimes in family devotion.
00:26:18.74\00:26:21.94
Oh, okay. Okay.
00:26:21.98\00:26:23.31
So what would be
unexpected for your children?
00:26:23.35\00:26:27.25
Well, I have to pay a little
bit more attention to them
00:26:27.28\00:26:29.58
and find out what they like
and then bring that to worship.
00:26:29.62\00:26:32.59
Okay.
00:26:32.62\00:26:33.96
Yeah, and maybe just to have
a big brunch set out for them.
00:26:33.99\00:26:36.83
I was thinking
that, that would be cool.
00:26:36.86\00:26:38.59
Okay. It would be.
00:26:38.63\00:26:39.96
Yeah. Right. Okay.
00:26:40.00\00:26:41.33
And simple mistakes,
we want to smile about.
00:26:41.36\00:26:43.43
Okay. Okay.
00:26:43.47\00:26:44.80
Okay, we don't have to issue
00:26:44.83\00:26:46.17
a punishment
for a simple mistake
00:26:46.20\00:26:47.54
or correct every mistake, okay?
00:26:47.57\00:26:48.90
Okay, so like
don't fight every battle.
00:26:48.94\00:26:50.31
Every battle do
not need to be fought.
00:26:50.34\00:26:52.91
Okay, that's what how I think.
00:26:52.94\00:26:54.64
And then refuse to get
hooked into bad communication.
00:26:54.68\00:26:58.68
So they may try to revert
and go back to the old ways,
00:26:58.71\00:27:02.68
refuse to do it,
okay, as far as possible.
00:27:02.72\00:27:05.39
All right, so we're going
to have a very quick prayer
00:27:05.42\00:27:08.36
and then we're
going to close out, okay?
00:27:08.39\00:27:10.73
All right, we'll
just stay where we are.
00:27:10.76\00:27:13.16
Most honorable Father,
00:27:13.19\00:27:14.53
we thank You for Your
healing power in this family.
00:27:14.56\00:27:16.63
We thank You
that family devotion
00:27:16.67\00:27:18.00
has straightened
out so many things
00:27:18.03\00:27:19.77
and that the power of prayer
00:27:19.80\00:27:21.14
has prevailed in this situation.
00:27:21.17\00:27:22.67
Thank You, and we
praise Your holy name
00:27:22.70\00:27:24.41
for Your goodness, amen.
00:27:24.44\00:27:26.21
Amen. Amen.
00:27:26.24\00:27:27.58
So we'll see you next week.
00:27:27.61\00:27:28.94
All right. Thank you so much.
00:27:28.98\00:27:30.31
All right.
00:27:30.35\00:27:33.21
Often parents believe
00:27:33.25\00:27:34.58
that they are
teaching children to love God,
00:27:34.62\00:27:36.99
but what are they
really teaching their children?
00:27:37.02\00:27:39.42
Unintentionally,
children are being taught
00:27:39.45\00:27:41.92
that there isn't
enough time for God.
00:27:41.96\00:27:44.33
They are being taught
that the daily routine
00:27:44.36\00:27:46.33
is more important than God.
00:27:46.36\00:27:48.26
It's easy to get off track
00:27:48.30\00:27:50.07
and teach something that
you aren't intending to teach.
00:27:50.10\00:27:53.17
It's important to pay attention
00:27:53.20\00:27:55.00
to your behavior
concerning family devotion
00:27:55.04\00:27:58.14
and what you are really teaching
00:27:58.17\00:27:59.81
your children about God
00:27:59.84\00:28:01.51
because it affects
your child in this life
00:28:01.54\00:28:04.05
and the life to come.
00:28:04.08\00:28:05.88
So remember, family devotion
can be fun and interesting,
00:28:05.91\00:28:10.52
make it short and
leave the child wanting more.
00:28:10.55\00:28:12.99
And most importantly, let
the children feel your love
00:28:13.02\00:28:16.12
so they would
learn to love the Lord.
00:28:16.16\00:28:18.06