Hey, everyone, I'm home.
I just came from shopping.
00:00:02.56\00:00:05.40
Oh, no, you didn't.
00:00:05.43\00:00:07.17
You've been out shopping again,
00:00:07.20\00:00:09.14
spending money that
you know we don't have.
00:00:09.17\00:00:11.81
I am sick and tired
of you being so cheap.
00:00:11.84\00:00:14.14
Cheap? Yes, cheap.
00:00:14.18\00:00:16.14
If you actually
bought things for us,
00:00:16.18\00:00:17.51
then maybe I wouldn't
have to buy them myself.
00:00:17.55\00:00:19.71
Besides, it seems
as if you love money
00:00:19.75\00:00:21.55
more than you love either of us.
00:00:21.58\00:00:23.15
Yeah, Dad. Whatever.
00:00:23.18\00:00:25.52
Lauren, come see what I bought.
00:00:25.55\00:00:28.19
Oh! Can you play
this game with me?
00:00:28.22\00:00:31.26
No, how about we
look to these things
00:00:31.29\00:00:33.09
before you start
begging for something else.
00:00:33.13\00:00:37.27
You didn't get the
blue jeans I wanted.
00:00:37.30\00:00:41.10
You also didn't get
00:00:41.14\00:00:42.47
the light up
tennis shoes either.
00:00:42.50\00:00:44.61
And can we play this game now?
00:00:44.64\00:00:46.47
No, we're not playing the
game. I bought the game for you.
00:00:46.51\00:00:49.81
How about you go play
the game with your father?
00:00:49.84\00:00:51.81
Oh, no, I don't have time
to teach her to play this game.
00:00:51.85\00:00:55.05
Anyway, this game is for Lauren.
00:00:55.08\00:00:56.92
I'm a man.
00:00:56.95\00:00:58.39
You play games all the time.
00:00:58.42\00:01:00.26
I play adult games by myself.
00:01:00.29\00:01:03.43
And my games
are really hard too.
00:01:03.46\00:01:05.63
I had to cheat
just to get to level 50.
00:01:05.66\00:01:08.50
Maybe I'll play
this with her later.
00:01:08.53\00:01:10.13
Mom and Dad, you always do this.
00:01:13.54\00:01:15.67
This is just like last
week, the week before that
00:01:15.70\00:01:18.61
and other times you guys
did not play games with me.
00:01:18.64\00:01:21.74
I do play with you.
00:01:21.78\00:01:23.18
Don't you
remember just last week
00:01:23.21\00:01:24.81
I let you help
paint the bedroom?
00:01:24.85\00:01:27.18
You ended up
leaving and made me do
00:01:27.22\00:01:28.92
all the work by myself.
00:01:28.95\00:01:31.29
She has a point.
00:01:31.32\00:01:32.65
But I am getting tired
of you begging for things.
00:01:32.69\00:01:34.86
The more we do for you,
the more you seem to want.
00:01:34.89\00:01:38.19
Oh, yeah, and
last week you said,
00:01:38.23\00:01:39.59
we're gonna make
cupcakes together and we didn't.
00:01:39.63\00:01:42.00
Can we make those cupcakes now?
00:01:42.03\00:01:43.37
No.
00:01:43.40\00:01:44.73
How about you go play
the game that I just bought
00:01:44.77\00:01:46.27
before I take it
back to the store?
00:01:46.30\00:01:47.80
Please, don't take it
back to the store, Mom.
00:01:47.84\00:01:50.47
Oh, yeah, and if you
go back to the store,
00:01:50.51\00:01:52.04
will you buy me some of
those light up tennis shoes?
00:01:52.07\00:01:54.01
No, I will not.
00:01:54.04\00:01:55.38
What I am going to do is
check out my Facebook account,
00:01:55.41\00:01:58.15
and once I'm done doing that,
00:01:58.18\00:01:59.65
I am going to go
cook the cupcakes.
00:01:59.68\00:02:01.32
Guess what?
00:02:01.35\00:02:02.68
You can play
games with your father
00:02:02.72\00:02:04.05
while I do that.
00:02:04.09\00:02:05.45
You guys never do what
you say you're going to do
00:02:05.49\00:02:07.79
and I always have
to do things by myself.
00:02:07.82\00:02:10.39
Well, thank you so much
00:02:47.03\00:02:48.76
for letting us put
that camera in your home
00:02:48.80\00:02:51.03
so that we could see
exactly what's going on there.
00:02:51.07\00:02:53.84
So what's happening now?
00:02:53.87\00:02:55.20
How's everything going?
00:02:55.24\00:02:56.57
It's the same thing.
00:02:56.60\00:02:57.94
She's ungrateful,
she's always complaining.
00:02:57.97\00:03:00.54
Always wanting more stuff.
00:03:00.58\00:03:02.38
I get sick of buying her
one thing and then next thing,
00:03:02.41\00:03:05.31
you know, she's
asking for something more.
00:03:05.35\00:03:07.32
It's like she's never satisfied.
00:03:07.35\00:03:09.08
I don't know what we're
supposed to do about this.
00:03:09.12\00:03:11.09
So what was the
last thing she asked for?
00:03:11.12\00:03:13.66
She asked for some
light up tennis shoes.
00:03:13.69\00:03:16.09
You know, so
everybody can see her
00:03:16.12\00:03:17.63
wherever she goes leaving
a trail of light, I guess.
00:03:17.66\00:03:20.50
But they're so stupid.
00:03:20.53\00:03:21.86
I'm not paying for that stuff.
00:03:21.90\00:03:23.23
It costs too
much. So what about you?
00:03:23.26\00:03:25.47
Has she been
asking you for more stuff?
00:03:25.50\00:03:27.44
She's always asking for
stuff, more lunch money.
00:03:27.47\00:03:29.34
She always asks for
lunch money every day.
00:03:29.37\00:03:31.51
If I send her
money to the school,
00:03:31.54\00:03:33.78
she always ends up
spending it on her friends.
00:03:33.81\00:03:36.21
I think she just
likes the attention.
00:03:36.24\00:03:37.91
Do you think she
is buying friendship?
00:03:37.95\00:03:40.22
Maybe, but I
don't think she should.
00:03:40.25\00:03:42.45
Okay, no, she
shouldn't buy friendship,
00:03:42.48\00:03:44.79
but that could be
happening, correct.
00:03:44.82\00:03:46.42
I don't know if
she's buying friendship,
00:03:46.45\00:03:48.32
but I think she's
stealing stuff too.
00:03:48.36\00:03:50.43
Last week I saw she had
somebody's little watch,
00:03:50.46\00:03:54.26
and we didn't buy her that.
00:03:54.30\00:03:55.76
So I don't know
where she got it from.
00:03:55.80\00:03:57.83
She just wants stuff so much.
00:03:57.87\00:03:59.87
She is willing to
even do that. Anything for.
00:03:59.90\00:04:02.24
Really, anything you think?
00:04:02.27\00:04:04.57
So what did you do with
the watch when you saw it?
00:04:04.61\00:04:07.31
I took it and took
it to the pawnshop.
00:04:07.34\00:04:09.78
I might as well make
some money off of it.
00:04:09.81\00:04:11.45
Sorry.
00:04:11.48\00:04:12.81
You didn't take it back
to the school to return it?
00:04:12.85\00:04:14.98
No, I figure she took
it, nobody even noticed.
00:04:15.02\00:04:17.95
Okay.
00:04:17.99\00:04:19.32
So what do you think
about the video we took of you?
00:04:19.35\00:04:22.09
Did you see any behaviors
00:04:22.12\00:04:23.46
that you may be
doing that contributes?
00:04:23.49\00:04:27.40
Well, I guess I should
spend more time with her,
00:04:27.43\00:04:29.26
but it's just so hard.
00:04:29.30\00:04:30.63
I mean, I'm just busy.
00:04:30.67\00:04:32.00
And she's always
asking for time and attention,
00:04:32.03\00:04:33.60
and I just can't give her that.
00:04:33.64\00:04:35.44
Okay, so what
are you busy doing?
00:04:35.47\00:04:37.61
Checking my Facebook account,
00:04:37.64\00:04:38.97
talking to my
friends on social media,
00:04:39.01\00:04:40.38
I mean that's important to me.
00:04:40.41\00:04:41.74
Okay, all right.
00:04:41.78\00:04:43.24
What I notice on the
video is that we tend to buy
00:04:43.28\00:04:46.82
too much stuff for her.
00:04:46.85\00:04:48.18
Excuse me, I say what did
you notice that you are doing?
00:04:48.22\00:04:51.15
Oh, me? Yeah, not we.
00:04:51.19\00:04:52.85
Well... Just you.
00:04:52.89\00:04:54.42
I guess maybe I could
spend more time with her.
00:04:54.46\00:04:56.89
You could. But I'm
just always so busy.
00:04:56.93\00:04:59.56
I don't have
time just drop the hat
00:04:59.59\00:05:01.73
whenever she
wants me to do stuff,
00:05:01.76\00:05:03.77
but I could spend
00:05:03.80\00:05:05.13
a little more
time with her though.
00:05:05.17\00:05:06.50
So did I hear
correctly on the video
00:05:06.53\00:05:09.60
where she said that you
started to paint the room
00:05:09.64\00:05:12.97
and you left her to do it,
you know, she is only teen.
00:05:13.01\00:05:15.48
She is doing a great job.
00:05:15.51\00:05:17.65
Why would I need to stay there?
I had other things I could do.
00:05:17.68\00:05:20.25
This is called efficiency.
00:05:20.28\00:05:22.25
I get her to do one
thing, while I go do two things.
00:05:22.28\00:05:25.75
I love multitasking.
00:05:25.79\00:05:27.32
Okay, this has
happened a lot though.
00:05:27.36\00:05:28.99
Yes, it does.
00:05:29.02\00:05:30.36
He always has
her doing his work,
00:05:30.39\00:05:31.73
things that he
is supposed to do.
00:05:31.76\00:05:33.09
Excuse me, you can just
stay focus on what you do,
00:05:33.13\00:05:35.03
so this is his.
00:05:35.06\00:05:36.43
Does this happen a lot?
00:05:36.46\00:05:38.83
Well, it happens often.
00:05:38.87\00:05:40.40
But I wouldn't say a whole lot.
00:05:40.44\00:05:41.94
Okay, well, hold on.
00:05:41.97\00:05:43.30
Maybe you can tell him
some of the things he's doing
00:05:43.34\00:05:46.57
that leaves her
to do his chores.
00:05:46.61\00:05:48.51
Like cutting the grass,
00:05:48.54\00:05:50.31
he cuts the grass, and
then in the middle of it,
00:05:50.35\00:05:51.78
he wants to go
do something else,
00:05:51.81\00:05:53.28
something comes on TV,
00:05:53.31\00:05:54.65
and he has her
continue cutting the grass.
00:05:54.68\00:05:56.02
Okay.
00:05:56.05\00:05:57.39
One time he had her up on
the roof cleaning gutters.
00:05:57.42\00:06:00.22
I had a safety rope on her.
00:06:00.26\00:06:02.69
Oh, my goodness. Okay.
00:06:02.72\00:06:04.36
And she didn't get hurt,
and the roof looks great.
00:06:04.39\00:06:06.86
This time she didn't get hurt.
00:06:06.90\00:06:08.30
So how many
times does this happen
00:06:08.33\00:06:10.03
where you actually
have her do something
00:06:10.07\00:06:12.80
that you are
supposed to be doing?
00:06:12.83\00:06:14.54
Well, you say I should
spend more time with her,
00:06:14.57\00:06:16.87
that's spending time.
00:06:16.91\00:06:18.41
I mean I can spend time with her
00:06:18.44\00:06:20.44
and get done all
the honey do items
00:06:20.48\00:06:22.28
that my wife ask for.
00:06:22.31\00:06:23.65
Really?
00:06:23.68\00:06:25.01
Okay, but let's go
back to the behaviors
00:06:25.05\00:06:27.65
that we saw on the video
00:06:27.68\00:06:29.02
that you individually
do that may contribute
00:06:29.05\00:06:32.15
to her desire to
have more and more things.
00:06:32.19\00:06:35.12
Is there anything
that you saw on here?
00:06:35.16\00:06:38.09
Well, I think I do
spend too much money on her,
00:06:38.13\00:06:40.70
and I think I do that more
than spending time with her.
00:06:40.73\00:06:43.16
Okay.
00:06:43.20\00:06:44.87
She spends way
too much money on her.
00:06:44.90\00:06:47.27
Every week,
she's buying new stuff,
00:06:47.30\00:06:49.54
cuts down on how much money
we have to live a better life.
00:06:49.57\00:06:53.07
We do fine.
00:06:53.11\00:06:54.68
We do fine, but we
could be doing better
00:06:54.71\00:06:56.68
if you quit buying her
all the stuff she wants.
00:06:56.71\00:06:59.25
It's just pulling her. Okay.
00:06:59.28\00:07:01.42
So how do you
think these behaviors,
00:07:01.45\00:07:04.25
buying her stuff,
only spending time with her
00:07:04.29\00:07:07.22
when you have
stuff you need to do.
00:07:07.26\00:07:09.66
How do you think
this is affecting Lauren?
00:07:09.69\00:07:13.03
Well, I do notice
she's concerned about
00:07:13.06\00:07:14.76
a lot of the
things that she gets,
00:07:14.80\00:07:16.87
and it almost
places a value on her.
00:07:16.90\00:07:18.90
So it almost seems as
if she values the things
00:07:18.93\00:07:21.37
that make her look good,
00:07:21.40\00:07:22.74
and she doesn't
really truly see her value.
00:07:22.77\00:07:24.11
Okay.
00:07:24.14\00:07:25.47
Oh, she definitely
wants to top name brands.
00:07:25.51\00:07:27.38
You can't buy her something
00:07:27.41\00:07:28.74
that she hadn't
seen a million times
00:07:28.78\00:07:30.38
on Lifestyle of
the Rich and Famous,
00:07:30.41\00:07:33.01
but we don't have
that kind of money.
00:07:33.05\00:07:34.65
And it still seems that
00:07:34.68\00:07:36.02
she's just becoming
more and more greedy,
00:07:36.05\00:07:39.12
I don't know
where she gets all this,
00:07:39.15\00:07:40.92
buy me this, buy me that.
00:07:40.96\00:07:43.26
Well, okay, so what about...
00:07:43.29\00:07:47.96
How is she getting this stuff
00:07:48.00\00:07:49.33
from the Lifestyles
of the Rich and Famous?
00:07:49.36\00:07:52.20
How does she get
that? Well, she watches TV.
00:07:52.23\00:07:54.14
I know it, but how does
she actually get those things?
00:07:54.17\00:07:56.87
From her mom buying her stuff,
that's what I'm telling you.
00:07:56.91\00:07:59.41
She gets the charge
card and just goes crazy.
00:07:59.44\00:08:03.68
Just charge it,
charge it like...
00:08:03.71\00:08:05.31
I don't mind buying her things.
00:08:05.35\00:08:06.72
I think that that's
a good thing to have,
00:08:06.75\00:08:08.62
be able to get
things for your children.
00:08:08.65\00:08:09.98
Okay.
00:08:10.02\00:08:11.35
That's good, but we can't
afford to be going overboard.
00:08:11.39\00:08:13.25
Okay.
00:08:13.29\00:08:14.62
And it's making
her materialistic.
00:08:14.66\00:08:17.66
All she cares about is more,
00:08:17.69\00:08:19.43
"Buy me this, buy me
that, buy me the other thing."
00:08:19.46\00:08:22.20
So, so far I hear you
saying that Lauren is greedy
00:08:22.23\00:08:24.50
because you keep
buying her stuff.
00:08:24.53\00:08:25.87
Yeah. Yes.
00:08:25.90\00:08:27.24
But two of you are
not spending enough time
00:08:27.27\00:08:28.80
and giving her things.
00:08:28.84\00:08:30.27
And then I hear you saying
that Lauren is wanting things
00:08:30.31\00:08:35.04
that are for people
who are rich and famous,
00:08:35.08\00:08:37.71
and you don't have
the money to get it,
00:08:37.75\00:08:39.08
but somehow you get it anyway.
00:08:39.11\00:08:40.45
Yes.
00:08:40.48\00:08:41.82
And I hear you
also say that Lauren
00:08:41.85\00:08:43.69
is focused entirely
on getting these things.
00:08:43.72\00:08:48.42
Is that what I'm hearing?
00:08:48.46\00:08:49.79
Okay, so now how is
this affecting you two?
00:08:49.82\00:08:52.59
Well, we always argue about
money, money, money, money.
00:08:52.63\00:08:55.23
He's always telling me
I'm spending too much money.
00:08:55.26\00:08:57.57
Spending too much is not a word,
00:08:57.60\00:08:59.43
we need a new
definition for spending.
00:08:59.47\00:09:01.24
And it's not that bad.
00:09:01.27\00:09:02.60
The way she goes at
it, my wife's a shopaholic.
00:09:02.64\00:09:05.04
I'm telling you she
just shop, shop, shop.
00:09:05.07\00:09:07.61
It was so bad
she's such a shopaholic.
00:09:07.64\00:09:10.98
Last week, I
stopped at a stoplight,
00:09:11.01\00:09:13.52
she jumps out of the car,
00:09:13.55\00:09:14.88
goes and buys some at the
store and gets back into car.
00:09:14.92\00:09:17.62
He is always making up
stories. That's shopaholic.
00:09:17.65\00:09:19.59
It did not take me that
long to go in the store.
00:09:19.62\00:09:21.39
We were not
stopped at a stoplight.
00:09:21.42\00:09:22.92
It took me about three
minutes and I was quick.
00:09:22.96\00:09:25.43
Okay. But still shopping.
00:09:25.46\00:09:27.86
We don't have money
for shopping like that.
00:09:27.90\00:09:30.10
Come on, we're trying to...
00:09:30.13\00:09:31.70
We have goals and aspirations
and spending our money wildly,
00:09:31.73\00:09:36.30
we never gonna get anywhere.
00:09:36.34\00:09:37.97
So what other ways have
been affecting you two guys?
00:09:38.01\00:09:40.21
Since I saw, I can see
is you're bickering a lot.
00:09:40.24\00:09:43.04
Well, we don't agree
about anything either
00:09:43.08\00:09:44.41
because it always comes
back to the money issue.
00:09:44.45\00:09:46.38
Okay.
00:09:46.41\00:09:47.75
Once we get past,
00:09:47.78\00:09:49.12
Lauren's
shenanigans and the money issue,
00:09:49.15\00:09:51.69
we're gonna have
a nice thing going.
00:09:51.72\00:09:53.92
You know, we get to go
out and do different things,
00:09:53.96\00:09:56.02
but we've got to get
beyond that hurdle first.
00:09:56.06\00:09:59.16
Okay.
00:09:59.19\00:10:00.53
Yeah, it sounds like
it's a big hurdle for you too.
00:10:00.56\00:10:02.86
I know it's in the video
that you seem pretty angry.
00:10:02.90\00:10:05.70
Are you at the high level
of anger often or it's just...
00:10:05.73\00:10:09.07
No, I just get frustrated
when people ask for my time.
00:10:09.10\00:10:12.84
Okay.
00:10:12.87\00:10:14.21
So what have you
tried to fix the problem?
00:10:14.24\00:10:16.75
Have you tried
anything to fix the problem?
00:10:16.78\00:10:18.98
Well, I try not
to spend so much,
00:10:19.01\00:10:20.78
but she just
goes out and spends.
00:10:20.82\00:10:22.72
She now, she has her
own account for spending
00:10:22.75\00:10:24.69
so there's nothing I can do.
00:10:24.72\00:10:26.05
Excuse me, but I
say what have you tried?
00:10:26.09\00:10:28.86
I said, I try not to spend.
Okay, so let's stop it there.
00:10:28.89\00:10:31.13
But I'm being
counteracted by her action.
00:10:31.16\00:10:33.53
Okay, so you try not to spend.
00:10:33.56\00:10:35.10
What else have
you guys tried to get?
00:10:35.13\00:10:37.27
Well, I take things from her.
00:10:37.30\00:10:38.63
When she's in trouble,
00:10:38.67\00:10:40.00
I just take the
things that I bought
00:10:40.04\00:10:41.37
because she doesn't need them.
00:10:41.40\00:10:42.77
She isn't dealing
with consequences.
00:10:42.80\00:10:44.91
And how does that go?
00:10:44.94\00:10:46.27
She doesn't like it. Okay.
00:10:46.31\00:10:47.88
And usually, I give
and give it back to her,
00:10:47.91\00:10:50.25
but it works for now I guess.
00:10:50.28\00:10:52.45
Okay, so do you
really try not to spend?
00:10:52.48\00:10:54.88
Let me ask you this question.
00:10:54.92\00:10:56.48
Do you have any
personal hobbies?
00:10:56.52\00:10:58.05
I notice that you play a game.
00:10:58.09\00:10:59.42
How much are your games?
00:10:59.45\00:11:01.02
I'm buying games on discount.
00:11:01.06\00:11:03.26
Unless it's a
new one, of course,
00:11:03.29\00:11:04.86
then I got to
get the latest one.
00:11:04.89\00:11:06.49
But, hey, I work
hard for my money.
00:11:06.53\00:11:08.26
Okay, so you have
to get the latest one.
00:11:08.30\00:11:10.80
Lauren seems to have to
have the latest in shoes.
00:11:10.83\00:11:13.70
I wonder is there
any connection with that?
00:11:13.74\00:11:16.30
It shouldn't be
because like I said,
00:11:16.34\00:11:18.21
I work hard for my
money, I have been making money.
00:11:18.24\00:11:22.88
That's what I do.
Oh! That's what you do.
00:11:22.91\00:11:24.58
Okay. Okay.
00:11:24.61\00:11:26.01
Any other things that
you try to fix the problem,
00:11:26.05\00:11:27.68
have you tried talking
about it, or anything else?
00:11:27.72\00:11:31.12
Well, I tried
talking to her about,
00:11:31.15\00:11:32.95
talking to Lauren about it,
00:11:32.99\00:11:34.32
but it goes in one ear
and out the other, you know,
00:11:34.36\00:11:36.99
but I have tried to help
her to see the difference
00:11:37.03\00:11:40.16
in spending a
lot of money wisely
00:11:40.20\00:11:42.20
and just throwing
money down the drain.
00:11:42.23\00:11:44.30
But I guess, she's just not
old enough to understand yet.
00:11:44.33\00:11:47.47
Okay.
00:11:47.50\00:11:48.84
So, well, you know,
00:11:48.87\00:11:50.94
I have some
strategies that we can discuss,
00:11:50.97\00:11:53.58
and I don't want you
to try to do everything
00:11:53.61\00:11:55.51
that we discussed, but
just pick out two things
00:11:55.54\00:11:57.68
that will go along
with your personality.
00:11:57.71\00:11:59.81
For right now, we're just
going to take a look at Lauren
00:11:59.85\00:12:03.59
and what needs to
happen for her, okay?
00:12:03.62\00:12:06.19
And hopefully in the process,
00:12:06.22\00:12:07.56
maybe some other
things may get resolved.
00:12:07.59\00:12:09.76
So the first thing I want to ask
00:12:09.79\00:12:11.13
is can you spend
time together as a family,
00:12:11.16\00:12:13.80
both of you with Lauren?
00:12:13.83\00:12:15.46
How much time?
00:12:15.50\00:12:18.33
What do you like to do?
00:12:18.37\00:12:20.00
Tell me something that
you... I'm working a lot.
00:12:20.04\00:12:21.37
I like to do my... You were?
00:12:21.40\00:12:22.74
Once I get off work, then
I get to take some downtime,
00:12:22.77\00:12:25.24
play my videogame, eat dinner,
00:12:25.27\00:12:27.68
you know, and then I got to rest
00:12:27.71\00:12:29.04
for the next day's work,
00:12:29.08\00:12:30.41
but maybe we can
squeeze in a few minutes.
00:12:30.45\00:12:32.75
Ain't 15 minutes
a day good enough?
00:12:32.78\00:12:34.68
Yeah. I think 15 is good.
00:12:34.72\00:12:36.28
No, I think you
may need to look at
00:12:36.32\00:12:38.22
a little bit
more time than that.
00:12:38.25\00:12:39.95
How about
eating dinner together?
00:12:39.99\00:12:44.66
Well...
00:12:44.69\00:12:46.13
Eat dinner
together? That's funny.
00:12:46.16\00:12:47.96
Yeah, we don't do that.
00:12:48.00\00:12:49.60
Okay, I'm asking is
it possible to do that?
00:12:49.63\00:12:53.07
I guess we could do something,
00:12:53.10\00:12:54.44
maybe we can get takeout
and sit at the table and eat.
00:12:54.47\00:12:57.57
So if you're having a
problem with that one,
00:12:57.61\00:12:59.04
this one will
really cause a problem.
00:12:59.07\00:13:00.84
How about spending
individual time with Lauren?
00:13:00.88\00:13:03.85
We can do that. Okay.
00:13:03.88\00:13:05.21
How about shopping if I
take her shopping with me?
00:13:05.25\00:13:07.08
See.
00:13:07.12\00:13:08.45
If you take her
shopping and don't spend.
00:13:08.48\00:13:11.35
Well, I can work on it.
00:13:11.39\00:13:14.69
Well, it's all we can try
and let's just try to do it.
00:13:14.72\00:13:17.06
What about you?
00:13:17.09\00:13:18.43
Well, I can spend
some time with her.
00:13:18.46\00:13:20.13
I guess after I...
00:13:20.16\00:13:21.66
Well, after she finishes
helping me with some stuff
00:13:21.70\00:13:24.50
around the house.
00:13:24.53\00:13:25.87
Then we can go to
the park for a minute,
00:13:25.90\00:13:27.80
see what's going on there,
play with some other kids.
00:13:27.84\00:13:30.81
It would be a start
at least, something.
00:13:30.84\00:13:32.37
Okay.
00:13:32.41\00:13:33.74
How about doing some
volunteer work with her?
00:13:33.78\00:13:36.41
And maybe you can
give her an allowance.
00:13:36.44\00:13:37.88
I think both of
you would like this,
00:13:37.91\00:13:39.58
you give her, her
own spending money
00:13:39.61\00:13:41.88
and then you don't
buy her anything...
00:13:41.92\00:13:44.05
Yeah, now we're talking. Extra.
00:13:44.09\00:13:46.79
And you allow
her to make decisions
00:13:46.82\00:13:48.29
on how to spend her money?
00:13:48.32\00:13:50.06
I like that. What do you think?
00:13:50.09\00:13:52.36
It may help with her
always asking me for things,
00:13:52.39\00:13:54.50
so I think we can do that.
00:13:54.53\00:13:55.86
Okay.
00:13:55.90\00:13:57.23
Now this may be
very, very difficult.
00:13:57.27\00:13:59.23
But you can't buy
anything extra for Lauren
00:13:59.27\00:14:02.24
for the next two weeks.
00:14:02.27\00:14:03.61
You can't do it.
00:14:03.64\00:14:04.97
Two weeks? For two weeks.
00:14:05.01\00:14:06.37
It's okay with me.
00:14:06.41\00:14:07.74
You want to give her allowance,
00:14:07.78\00:14:09.24
a little chance to work
00:14:09.28\00:14:10.61
so that she can start
looking at how much things cost.
00:14:10.65\00:14:15.15
What do you think?
00:14:15.18\00:14:16.82
I think it's gonna
work. We can really...
00:14:16.85\00:14:18.92
I really like the part
about her having her own money
00:14:18.95\00:14:21.89
so that we don't have to keep
00:14:21.92\00:14:23.26
spending out the
house money all the time.
00:14:23.29\00:14:25.29
And I'm pretty good
at not buying things
00:14:25.33\00:14:27.83
when I don't have to,
00:14:27.86\00:14:29.20
and I help encourage
my wife to do the same.
00:14:29.23\00:14:31.50
Okay, I don't know
00:14:31.53\00:14:32.87
if she wants you
to encourage her.
00:14:32.90\00:14:34.24
Okay, I think she can
do that all by herself.
00:14:34.27\00:14:37.04
What would you do
00:14:37.07\00:14:38.41
with all of the extra
money you're gonna have?
00:14:38.44\00:14:39.87
Whoa!
00:14:39.91\00:14:41.24
I can think of some things
to do with some extra money.
00:14:41.28\00:14:43.88
For us. Right, okay.
00:14:43.91\00:14:47.52
Well, our time is just about up.
00:14:47.55\00:14:49.92
Do you have any other questions
00:14:49.95\00:14:52.92
that you need to talk about?
00:14:52.95\00:14:55.19
Not right now, but I guess
00:14:55.22\00:14:56.62
when we try these things
you told us, it would be good.
00:14:56.66\00:15:00.53
Okay, see you next week then.
00:15:00.56\00:15:02.40
Thank you so much. Okay, bye.
00:15:02.43\00:15:06.00
Okay, how are
you guys doing today?
00:15:06.03\00:15:08.10
We're blessed
and highly favored.
00:15:08.14\00:15:09.47
Oh, praise God.
00:15:09.50\00:15:10.84
So we've had several sessions
00:15:10.87\00:15:12.51
since the initial
session when you started.
00:15:12.54\00:15:14.81
So tell me how
are things going now?
00:15:14.84\00:15:17.15
Well, it's a lot
more calm at home
00:15:17.18\00:15:19.75
and things are just looking up.
00:15:19.78\00:15:21.48
Everyone is
cooperating so much better.
00:15:21.52\00:15:23.72
It's really a
different situation now.
00:15:23.75\00:15:25.69
Okay.
00:15:25.72\00:15:27.06
So what's not
happening that makes it so calm?
00:15:27.09\00:15:29.46
Well, no more tantrums.
00:15:29.49\00:15:30.83
Good. No more tantrums.
00:15:30.86\00:15:32.29
Any spanking? No, not lately.
00:15:32.33\00:15:34.70
Thank goodness, we
haven't had to resort to that.
00:15:34.73\00:15:36.97
But, yeah, so no tantrums,
she's not fussy as much,
00:15:37.00\00:15:41.54
and she's really
learning to work well
00:15:41.57\00:15:43.34
with the rest of the family.
00:15:43.37\00:15:44.71
Oh, that is such a blessing.
00:15:44.74\00:15:46.47
So I want to let you know,
00:15:46.51\00:15:47.84
we saw some really
good stuff on that camera.
00:15:47.88\00:15:49.84
So now I want to thank you again
00:15:49.88\00:15:51.21
for allowing us to
use a camera in your home
00:15:51.25\00:15:53.38
so that it can
help us to pinpoint
00:15:53.42\00:15:55.62
exactly what the problem is,
and we're going in the therapy.
00:15:55.65\00:15:58.49
So let's take a look
at how well the strategies
00:15:58.52\00:16:00.76
have worked for
you in your home, okay?
00:16:00.79\00:16:02.46
All right. Sounds good.
00:16:02.49\00:16:03.83
Guys, I'm home.
00:16:03.86\00:16:05.19
I just finished up a
little bit of shopping.
00:16:05.23\00:16:06.56
Oh, great.
00:16:06.59\00:16:07.93
I hope you
bought something for me.
00:16:07.96\00:16:09.30
What did you get? Well, I did.
00:16:09.33\00:16:10.67
I got a few
things that we needed.
00:16:10.70\00:16:12.40
Oh, and I also
got a game for Lauren.
00:16:12.43\00:16:14.90
Oh, thanks, Mom. Oh,
you're welcome, Babe.
00:16:14.94\00:16:16.97
Can we play this game together?
00:16:17.01\00:16:18.34
Well, not right now.
00:16:18.37\00:16:19.71
I have a few things
that I need to do first,
00:16:19.74\00:16:21.08
but then we can play after.
00:16:21.11\00:16:22.44
How about that? Okay.
00:16:22.48\00:16:23.81
Come on, Lauren, I'll teach
how to play some of my games.
00:16:23.85\00:16:26.18
Then when mom is finished,
00:16:26.21\00:16:27.68
we can all learn to
play yours together.
00:16:27.72\00:16:29.92
Well, at school
we play math games,
00:16:29.95\00:16:31.55
and the kids that
don't know their times table,
00:16:31.59\00:16:33.46
just cheat of the
kids who do know theirs.
00:16:33.49\00:16:35.79
Now, Lauren, we've told
you cheating never pays.
00:16:35.82\00:16:38.53
Well, it does, Dad,
because the kids who do cheat
00:16:38.56\00:16:41.16
always get the
highest level in class.
00:16:41.20\00:16:43.20
But what are they gonna do
00:16:43.23\00:16:44.57
when they don't
have a chance to cheat
00:16:44.60\00:16:46.17
and they have to take a test,
then they're gonna get all Fs.
00:16:46.20\00:16:49.44
Remember, Lauren,
00:16:49.47\00:16:50.81
honesty is
always the best policy.
00:16:50.84\00:16:55.44
Okay,
00:16:55.48\00:16:56.81
so out of all the
suggestions that were given,
00:16:56.85\00:16:59.11
which suggestions were
most helpful to you two?
00:16:59.15\00:17:02.05
Well, I tell you
what I really liked
00:17:02.08\00:17:04.15
was setting an
amount for each of us
00:17:04.19\00:17:05.95
to have to spend and allowance,
00:17:05.99\00:17:07.92
that really works out great.
00:17:07.96\00:17:09.69
At first, when we started,
00:17:09.72\00:17:11.56
we had to kind
of get used to it,
00:17:11.59\00:17:13.03
you know, we spend too
much and not have anything left,
00:17:13.06\00:17:16.20
and then we'd not
have enough to start with.
00:17:16.23\00:17:18.90
But now we've
kind of even it out
00:17:18.93\00:17:20.34
and I think
everybody's doing well with it
00:17:20.37\00:17:22.67
Okay, so how about you
and your shopaholic ways?
00:17:22.70\00:17:25.34
Are you still shopping a lot?
00:17:25.37\00:17:27.08
No, I have a fixed
amount that I take with me
00:17:27.11\00:17:29.34
and I don't
spend more than that.
00:17:29.38\00:17:30.71
So that's helped a
lot with the budget.
00:17:30.75\00:17:32.38
Okay, so you're not
using credit cards anymore?
00:17:32.41\00:17:34.82
No. Oh, man!
00:17:34.85\00:17:36.48
No, we cut those things
up. I made sure of that.
00:17:36.52\00:17:39.42
I hardly recognized you all
00:17:39.45\00:17:40.96
along that video
when I first looked at,
00:17:40.99\00:17:42.66
I was like, "I
can't believe this"
00:17:42.69\00:17:44.53
that is so good.
00:17:44.56\00:17:46.13
So how are the new
strategies working with Lauren?
00:17:46.16\00:17:49.33
How's she dealing with it?
00:17:49.36\00:17:50.83
Well, she's
doing so much better.
00:17:50.87\00:17:52.47
She just seems happier
and we've had time to spend,
00:17:52.50\00:17:55.84
time together with
each other a lot more often.
00:17:55.87\00:17:58.91
And so we've been able to do
00:17:58.94\00:18:00.74
pedicures and
manicures together.
00:18:00.78\00:18:03.31
Did a lot of talking
about school, and friends,
00:18:03.35\00:18:06.21
and school work that allow us
00:18:06.25\00:18:08.42
to just spend a little more time
00:18:08.45\00:18:09.78
and we're able to
just get understanding
00:18:09.82\00:18:11.45
of who we each other are,
00:18:11.49\00:18:12.82
which I don't
think we did at first.
00:18:12.85\00:18:14.19
And, you know,
00:18:14.22\00:18:15.56
the nice thing too now
that Lauren has her own money.
00:18:15.59\00:18:18.19
She's not asking us continually
about more money, more money.
00:18:18.23\00:18:21.80
And it's funny now
00:18:21.83\00:18:23.16
because when we go to the store,
00:18:23.20\00:18:24.83
at first, she wanted
all these name brands,
00:18:24.87\00:18:27.24
you know, she just
couldn't have anything
00:18:27.27\00:18:28.87
less than the highest,
00:18:28.90\00:18:30.24
but now that she's
spending her money,
00:18:30.27\00:18:32.27
she's over at the
clearance rack section.
00:18:32.31\00:18:33.98
Yes.
00:18:34.01\00:18:35.34
You know, now it's her motto,
00:18:35.38\00:18:36.75
clearance rack is where is that.
00:18:36.78\00:18:39.61
Okay, so she's
learning the value of money.
00:18:39.65\00:18:41.38
Yes.
00:18:41.42\00:18:42.75
How about her
attitude towards people?
00:18:42.78\00:18:44.12
Remember, she put
things before people.
00:18:44.15\00:18:45.69
Yeah.
00:18:45.72\00:18:47.06
Well, I think she's able
to appreciate relationships
00:18:47.09\00:18:49.09
a little bit better now.
00:18:49.12\00:18:50.83
She's still working now,
00:18:50.86\00:18:52.19
you know, some of the
things with her friends,
00:18:52.23\00:18:53.70
right, because I
think a lot of her friends
00:18:53.73\00:18:56.56
kind of dictated
how she acted at home
00:18:56.60\00:18:59.23
and how she felt money was,
00:18:59.27\00:19:01.50
you know, in
terms of importance.
00:19:01.54\00:19:03.47
But she's doing so much better,
00:19:03.51\00:19:04.84
and she's actually chosen
a different group of friends.
00:19:04.87\00:19:07.28
So I'm just trying to
help her along that path
00:19:07.31\00:19:09.81
with choosing the right friends.
00:19:09.84\00:19:11.18
Okay, so now, are the
friends coming to your house?
00:19:11.21\00:19:13.28
Do you really get to see them
00:19:13.31\00:19:14.65
and meet them, and talk to them?
00:19:14.68\00:19:16.02
Yes. Do you like them better?
00:19:16.05\00:19:17.39
Yes, I love them
and their parents.
00:19:17.42\00:19:18.75
Oh, good.
00:19:18.79\00:19:20.12
Oh, you met their
parents, that's great.
00:19:20.16\00:19:21.49
Correct. Okay.
00:19:21.52\00:19:22.86
Yeah, she seems to
really appreciate her friends
00:19:22.89\00:19:24.23
a little more than she used to.
00:19:24.26\00:19:25.86
They used to be all
about what they were wearing,
00:19:25.89\00:19:27.93
and what they had on,
00:19:27.96\00:19:29.33
and how much bling
they were all showing off,
00:19:29.36\00:19:31.97
but now I think she
really likes the fact
00:19:32.00\00:19:33.84
that they're people,
00:19:33.87\00:19:35.20
they're friendly, they're fun,
00:19:35.24\00:19:36.71
and they get
along well together.
00:19:36.74\00:19:38.31
So once they come over,
they like to play games,
00:19:38.34\00:19:41.04
they do different
things that kids should do,
00:19:41.08\00:19:43.14
you know, and things are
just really much better at home.
00:19:43.18\00:19:45.71
Yeah.
00:19:45.75\00:19:47.08
What about your
community service efforts?
00:19:47.12\00:19:48.45
I think that's a great idea
00:19:48.48\00:19:49.82
to take children
out and help others.
00:19:49.85\00:19:51.55
What are you guys doing,
what kind of community service?
00:19:51.59\00:19:54.76
So we do volunteer at the
church doing a food pantry,
00:19:54.79\00:19:57.89
and I think it's been wonderful
00:19:57.93\00:19:59.49
because she sees
people from all walks of life.
00:19:59.53\00:20:02.53
No matter the situation,
they're there for a reason
00:20:02.56\00:20:04.83
and we're able to help them.
00:20:04.87\00:20:06.20
And I think she's grown
00:20:06.23\00:20:07.57
to be a lot more
appreciative and grateful.
00:20:07.60\00:20:08.94
Oh, okay. Yeah.
00:20:08.97\00:20:10.31
We took a trip with
the food pantry one day
00:20:10.34\00:20:12.97
downtown to help
feed the homeless
00:20:13.01\00:20:15.51
that were
actually on the streets,
00:20:15.54\00:20:17.35
and she just was amazed
00:20:17.38\00:20:18.95
that people actually
didn't have food to eat
00:20:18.98\00:20:21.15
or places to stay.
00:20:21.18\00:20:22.62
So it really
made a big impression,
00:20:22.65\00:20:24.25
I think on her realizing that
00:20:24.29\00:20:26.29
she's been blessed
to have a nice home,
00:20:26.32\00:20:28.66
plenty of food to eat.
00:20:28.69\00:20:30.23
And I think it made a
real impression on her.
00:20:30.26\00:20:32.46
She's willing to
go back out again.
00:20:32.49\00:20:34.66
Oh, is she? Yeah,
she kind of likes it now.
00:20:34.70\00:20:36.73
Okay.
00:20:36.77\00:20:38.10
Now remember, being consistent
is really very important.
00:20:38.13\00:20:40.94
How has consistency
been going with you, guys?
00:20:40.97\00:20:45.04
We try to keep it going,
you know, as I said earlier,
00:20:45.07\00:20:48.74
we kind of get off a little
bit and then we get back on.
00:20:48.78\00:20:51.51
But we're kind of
evening things out now,
00:20:51.55\00:20:54.35
both of us take turns with
her and spend more time with her
00:20:54.38\00:20:57.32
which is another thing
that's really helping me
00:20:57.35\00:20:59.82
to draw closer to
and her to me, etcetera.
00:20:59.85\00:21:02.62
And I think the more we do
it, the more fun it becomes.
00:21:02.66\00:21:05.79
Okay.
00:21:05.83\00:21:07.16
And one of the other things
00:21:07.20\00:21:08.53
is we have
established family night.
00:21:08.56\00:21:09.90
At least once a week,
00:21:09.93\00:21:11.27
we figure, we start
there to figure out,
00:21:11.30\00:21:12.63
you know, we can be consistent
with it and it works out well.
00:21:12.67\00:21:15.14
So we have a time to play games,
00:21:15.17\00:21:17.61
we kind of take turns
deciding on what we want to do
00:21:17.64\00:21:20.11
and to make sure
everybody's needs are met.
00:21:20.14\00:21:21.78
Oh, that is really commending.
00:21:21.81\00:21:23.14
And let me tell you,
00:21:23.18\00:21:24.51
another blessing
of the family night,
00:21:24.55\00:21:26.51
now her friends
want to come over here.
00:21:26.55\00:21:28.25
Yeah.
00:21:28.28\00:21:29.62
And so now we can have
a good positive influence
00:21:29.65\00:21:31.42
on our friends because
we play family type games,
00:21:31.45\00:21:34.76
we play games where
they have to interact
00:21:34.79\00:21:37.29
and talk with each other
and get to know each other.
00:21:37.33\00:21:39.83
It's really great.
00:21:39.86\00:21:41.23
Another thing is we
bring in the Sabbath
00:21:41.26\00:21:42.93
every Friday
evening with devotion.
00:21:42.96\00:21:44.73
It's been
wonderful. Oh, it sounds great.
00:21:44.77\00:21:47.00
When are you guys
doing devotion on Fridays?
00:21:47.04\00:21:49.67
From Friday night
to Saturday night,
00:21:49.70\00:21:51.41
that's the Sabbath, so
we enjoy having scripture,
00:21:51.44\00:21:54.88
Bible readings, act
out Bible characters,
00:21:54.91\00:21:58.08
and I love singing as
you can probably tell.
00:21:58.11\00:22:01.58
Okay, so what were you
doing on the Sabbath before?
00:22:01.62\00:22:05.89
Well, we were doing a
lot of sleeping, you know.
00:22:05.92\00:22:08.42
And it usually
became so monotonous that,
00:22:08.46\00:22:10.43
you know, we wake up
and the sun would set,
00:22:10.46\00:22:12.39
and we be back to
our regular routine.
00:22:12.43\00:22:14.06
Yeah.
00:22:14.10\00:22:15.43
A lot of times we just find
ourselves looking out the door
00:22:15.46\00:22:18.33
to see when the sun set
00:22:18.37\00:22:20.14
and we would just want to
hurry up through the worship.
00:22:20.17\00:22:23.07
So now it's a different story.
00:22:23.10\00:22:25.27
We enjoy
worshipping on the Sabbath.
00:22:25.31\00:22:27.51
We enjoy being with Lauren,
00:22:27.54\00:22:29.34
being together as a
family and serving the Creator.
00:22:29.38\00:22:32.48
Oh, that's beautiful.
00:22:32.51\00:22:34.12
Now what did you have to
cut out to get extra time?
00:22:34.15\00:22:39.19
Well...
00:22:39.22\00:22:40.56
Well, a lot of overtime for
me for the family game night,
00:22:40.59\00:22:44.66
we do that on
Tuesday and Thursday,
00:22:44.69\00:22:46.59
so I had to stop
doing so much overtime,
00:22:46.63\00:22:49.40
and just make my way home.
00:22:49.43\00:22:50.87
Sometimes I would go shopping,
00:22:50.90\00:22:52.97
you know, to pick
up different items,
00:22:53.00\00:22:55.00
but I'll make sure
that I'm playing that out
00:22:55.04\00:22:56.64
better throughout the week.
00:22:56.67\00:22:58.11
So now Tuesday
and Thursday nights,
00:22:58.14\00:23:00.24
I'm home early
00:23:00.28\00:23:01.61
'cause I'm looking
forward to family night.
00:23:01.64\00:23:03.35
Oh, okay.
00:23:03.38\00:23:04.71
So you guys have been
spending more time together
00:23:04.75\00:23:09.08
and you haven't been spending
as much money on Lauren.
00:23:09.12\00:23:11.75
Correct. Right.
00:23:11.79\00:23:13.12
You've been saving money.
00:23:13.15\00:23:14.56
So has there been any
more effects on the family?
00:23:14.59\00:23:19.19
Well, like you mentioned
00:23:19.23\00:23:20.56
we have a lot more
money so which is great,
00:23:20.60\00:23:23.60
but at first we didn't
know what to do with it
00:23:23.63\00:23:25.90
but, you know, we
increased our offering tithe,
00:23:25.93\00:23:28.20
and offering to the
Lord, and to the church.
00:23:28.24\00:23:30.61
And now we've got some
savings for a rainy day
00:23:30.64\00:23:33.54
which was always a problem,
00:23:33.58\00:23:35.38
so now we have savings
and we're investing more.
00:23:35.41\00:23:39.21
It's just a complete turnaround
from where we were at.
00:23:39.25\00:23:42.05
Wow, it's amazing to
just see small strategies
00:23:42.08\00:23:44.95
have affected your
family emotionally, financially,
00:23:44.99\00:23:48.62
and most
importantly, spiritually.
00:23:48.66\00:23:51.13
So you guys are
doing so much better
00:23:51.16\00:23:52.93
in several
different areas of your life
00:23:52.96\00:23:55.10
as a result of very simple.
00:23:55.13\00:23:57.13
We just say it
was very expensive
00:23:57.17\00:23:58.50
to do what you guys did?
00:23:58.53\00:23:59.87
No.
00:23:59.90\00:24:01.24
I think we just had to
be intentional about it.
00:24:01.27\00:24:02.74
There's one thing to
want to do something,
00:24:02.77\00:24:04.47
it's another
thing to actually get up
00:24:04.51\00:24:05.84
and start making it happen.
00:24:05.87\00:24:07.21
I think so.
00:24:07.24\00:24:08.58
So let's take a look at
maybe some more strategies
00:24:08.61\00:24:11.21
that we can do, okay,
00:24:11.25\00:24:12.58
just to have more
things available to you.
00:24:12.61\00:24:15.82
Then how about a family meeting,
00:24:15.85\00:24:17.32
maybe you can plan
in your family meetings,
00:24:17.35\00:24:20.16
a family vacation.
00:24:20.19\00:24:21.52
Have you ever done that
before, a family vacation?
00:24:21.56\00:24:23.79
No, we really
haven't had time in the past
00:24:23.83\00:24:25.43
but that would be lovely.
00:24:25.46\00:24:26.80
Okay, so you
guys will get together
00:24:26.83\00:24:28.66
and plan a family vacation,
00:24:28.70\00:24:30.67
maybe you can
talk about with Lauren
00:24:30.70\00:24:34.30
what her future is going to be,
00:24:34.34\00:24:35.70
and then plan even
your family vacation
00:24:35.74\00:24:37.81
about around something
she's interested in doing.
00:24:37.84\00:24:40.41
That'd be great. Yeah.
00:24:40.44\00:24:42.04
That way we kill two
birds with one stone.
00:24:42.08\00:24:43.45
Yeah.
00:24:43.48\00:24:44.81
Plan a vacation,
00:24:44.85\00:24:46.18
plan for Lauren's
college experience.
00:24:46.21\00:24:48.35
This is really good idea. Okay.
00:24:48.38\00:24:50.92
And then we want
to be very consistent
00:24:50.95\00:24:53.76
and intentional
about spending time
00:24:53.79\00:24:56.79
and that money on Lauren.
00:24:56.83\00:24:59.26
Do you kind of see, remember,
00:24:59.29\00:25:00.93
in that very first
session when you were saying,
00:25:00.96\00:25:03.60
"I show her, I love her
by spending money on her."
00:25:03.63\00:25:06.33
Do you see the
difference between
00:25:06.37\00:25:07.94
actually spending that time...
00:25:07.97\00:25:09.30
Yeah, it makes a big difference.
00:25:09.34\00:25:10.67
And that money? Yeah.
00:25:10.71\00:25:12.04
And the feelings you
were having back then,
00:25:12.07\00:25:13.61
seem like there
was a lot of anger,
00:25:13.64\00:25:15.14
a lot of frustration,
although you were saying,
00:25:15.18\00:25:17.71
"Here, these
things, I love you."
00:25:17.75\00:25:19.51
You take it, right.
00:25:19.55\00:25:21.62
So how about giving
positive feedback to her?
00:25:21.65\00:25:26.45
Is it happening more now?
00:25:26.49\00:25:28.29
We've improved
definitely in that area.
00:25:28.32\00:25:30.53
You know, I put it on myself
00:25:30.56\00:25:32.46
to make sure that I
speak positively to her
00:25:32.49\00:25:35.26
and never
negatively because what we say
00:25:35.30\00:25:37.83
does have a big
impact on our children.
00:25:37.87\00:25:40.20
So I just try to
remind her that God loves her,
00:25:40.24\00:25:42.70
that we love her,
and that she's gonna do
00:25:42.74\00:25:44.61
great things
throughout her life.
00:25:44.64\00:25:46.07
Okay. Yeah.
00:25:46.11\00:25:47.44
And I want to just kind of
caution you just a little bit.
00:25:47.48\00:25:50.81
You said earlier that
her friends come over,
00:25:50.85\00:25:54.18
so we want to make sure that
everything is within boundaries
00:25:54.22\00:25:56.99
so that it's not too
much of that going on,
00:25:57.02\00:25:59.59
so that Lauren is
back to where she started,
00:25:59.62\00:26:01.89
you know, she's sharing you
with everybody and everything,
00:26:01.92\00:26:04.83
only these
people are her friends
00:26:04.86\00:26:06.29
and that is not a
good thing as well, okay?
00:26:06.33\00:26:09.70
So keep up the great work.
00:26:09.73\00:26:11.07
And are there any
questions that you have?
00:26:11.10\00:26:14.57
Not that I can think
of. No, I don't think so.
00:26:14.60\00:26:15.94
I think we're okay.
00:26:15.97\00:26:17.31
I really do
appreciate all of the help
00:26:17.34\00:26:18.71
that you've given us.
00:26:18.74\00:26:20.08
It has been a
wonderful thing in our family
00:26:20.11\00:26:22.18
and it's worked out a lot.
00:26:22.21\00:26:23.55
It's a great turnaround.
00:26:23.58\00:26:24.91
Yeah. It is.
00:26:24.95\00:26:26.28
And you know what,
00:26:26.31\00:26:27.65
I think that God gives
all of the glory for that.
00:26:27.68\00:26:29.02
Amen.
00:26:29.05\00:26:30.39
And all that he has
really worked with...
00:26:30.42\00:26:32.12
If you guys had
been so receptive
00:26:32.15\00:26:34.16
to the Spirit of God,
this would have never worked.
00:26:34.19\00:26:36.66
So continue to
pray with each other.
00:26:36.69\00:26:38.16
Pretty sure, we'll.
00:26:38.19\00:26:39.53
Yes. Okay.
00:26:39.56\00:26:43.06
Parents, a few minor
changes can be very helpful.
00:26:43.10\00:26:46.84
Sometimes
problems may seem huge,
00:26:46.87\00:26:49.30
but just a
little change can make
00:26:49.34\00:26:51.07
all the difference in the world.
00:26:51.11\00:26:53.14
In this case, the
family made a subtle shift
00:26:53.17\00:26:55.61
to giving time in that things
00:26:55.64\00:26:58.01
and they had a
very positive impact
00:26:58.05\00:27:00.05
on their relationships.
00:27:00.08\00:27:01.52
We'll review some ways
to give time in that things.
00:27:01.55\00:27:05.19
We can eat dinner
together is very simple,
00:27:05.22\00:27:07.89
instead of going to
your perspective rooms
00:27:07.92\00:27:09.92
and different
places in the house to eat,
00:27:09.96\00:27:11.93
eat together in one spot.
00:27:11.96\00:27:14.00
You can even spend time,
00:27:14.03\00:27:15.36
your downtime in
the evening together.
00:27:15.40\00:27:17.63
You don't have to talk,
00:27:17.67\00:27:19.03
you don't have to
necessarily interact
00:27:19.07\00:27:21.34
but just being in the
presence of each other
00:27:21.37\00:27:23.30
sometimes is very helpful.
00:27:23.34\00:27:25.41
Another thing
you can do, parents,
00:27:25.44\00:27:27.28
is you can take
your children out,
00:27:27.31\00:27:29.48
places, in the world.
00:27:29.51\00:27:31.11
The whole world is out there.
00:27:31.15\00:27:32.48
There are so many
things to experience together.
00:27:32.51\00:27:35.12
And as they
learn and as you talk,
00:27:35.15\00:27:37.45
you will learn more about them,
00:27:37.49\00:27:38.82
they will learn more about you,
your morals and your values.
00:27:38.85\00:27:42.42
And we can't forget this,
00:27:42.46\00:27:44.43
we have to spend
time with God together,
00:27:44.46\00:27:47.13
so we can do devotion together.
00:27:47.16\00:27:49.10
You can spend
time on the Sabbath
00:27:49.13\00:27:50.67
from sunset
Friday to sunset Sabbath.
00:27:50.70\00:27:53.64
You can watch 3ABN together
00:27:53.67\00:27:55.50
and talk about all the issues
that's going on in the world
00:27:55.54\00:27:58.24
that's impacting
them spiritually.
00:27:58.27\00:28:00.61
And most importantly,
we can pray together,
00:28:00.64\00:28:03.28
and we can praise God together.
00:28:03.31\00:28:05.68
It's important
to remind children
00:28:05.71\00:28:07.45
when God has
answered a prayer of theirs.
00:28:07.48\00:28:10.45
And we're developing them
00:28:10.49\00:28:11.82
so that they too
can have families
00:28:11.85\00:28:14.86
of their own that praise God.
00:28:14.89\00:28:16.79