Hi, I'm Wintley Phipps, and welcome to our program 00:00:27.19\00:00:30.73 Perfecting Me, Becoming More Like Jesus. 00:00:30.76\00:00:34.80 I'm so glad you've joined us. 00:00:34.83\00:00:37.10 My guests today on our program are Ruthie Jacobsen, 00:00:37.13\00:00:40.30 Head of Prayer Ministry of the North American division 00:00:40.34\00:00:42.40 of Seventh-day Adventist, Pastor Errol Stoddart, 00:00:42.44\00:00:45.71 Senior Pastor of the Church of the Oranges 00:00:45.74\00:00:47.58 of Seventh-day Adventist in Orange, New Jersey, 00:00:47.61\00:00:50.65 and Mrs. Adly Campos, Speaker and President 00:00:50.68\00:00:53.78 of Family Well-Being International. 00:00:53.82\00:00:56.72 You'll hear from them a little later. 00:00:56.75\00:00:59.92 When God gave Adam the woman Eve, 00:00:59.95\00:01:04.43 God gave to Adam much more than a wife. 00:01:04.46\00:01:10.03 In Eve, God gave to Adam one of the keys and blessings 00:01:10.07\00:01:14.87 that holds His entire universe together. 00:01:14.90\00:01:18.44 He gave to Adam a gift 00:01:18.47\00:01:20.88 that is a prerequisite for living in heavenly society, 00:01:20.91\00:01:24.31 a precondition of citizenship in the kingdom of God. 00:01:24.35\00:01:28.88 In Eve, God gave to Adam something 00:01:28.92\00:01:32.25 that is at the very fabric and foundation 00:01:32.29\00:01:35.12 of perfecting our character. 00:01:35.16\00:01:38.06 In Eve, God gave to Adam in the Garden of Eden 00:01:38.09\00:01:41.46 the gift of a reciprocal, loving, 00:01:41.50\00:01:45.70 spiritual relationship. 00:01:45.73\00:01:48.70 In God's kingdom, relationships are essential 00:01:48.74\00:01:53.48 to our growth and development of character. 00:01:53.51\00:01:57.38 Even today, God looks at our relationships 00:01:57.41\00:02:02.32 to determine the fitness of our character 00:02:02.35\00:02:06.25 for heavenly society. 00:02:06.29\00:02:08.52 Remember the young man that said, 00:02:08.56\00:02:09.89 "Master, what shall I do to inherit eternal life?" 00:02:09.92\00:02:11.96 The Lord, God said, He said, Jesus said to him, 00:02:11.99\00:02:14.96 "Love the Lord God with all your heart, 00:02:15.00\00:02:17.07 with all your soul, with all your strength, 00:02:17.10\00:02:19.20 with all your mind," that's the relationship to God, 00:02:19.23\00:02:23.14 "and your neighbor as you love yourself," 00:02:23.17\00:02:26.07 our relationship with others. 00:02:26.11\00:02:28.04 This world we live in 00:02:28.08\00:02:30.11 is a character training ground for heaven, 00:02:30.15\00:02:33.72 and our relationships with our families 00:02:33.75\00:02:36.69 and those around us are a key indicator 00:02:36.72\00:02:40.96 of our readiness for heaven. 00:02:40.99\00:02:43.06 Yes, God looks at our relationships 00:02:43.09\00:02:45.89 to determine our fitness for heaven. 00:02:45.93\00:02:49.13 That's why I try to always remind myself, 00:02:49.16\00:02:51.93 always love God with all my heart 00:02:51.97\00:02:54.80 and my neighbor as myself. 00:02:54.84\00:02:56.67 In the Garden of Eden, God made it abundantly clear 00:03:03.01\00:03:07.75 that He created us for reciprocal, loving, 00:03:07.78\00:03:11.75 spiritual relationships. 00:03:11.79\00:03:14.36 A relationship is the joining of two hearts 00:03:14.39\00:03:17.73 in sympathy and compassion with one another. 00:03:17.76\00:03:21.26 It is a quiet trust between two individuals, 00:03:21.30\00:03:25.30 a precious trust between two souls. 00:03:25.33\00:03:29.60 Relationships are invisible, unexplainable, 00:03:29.64\00:03:33.54 imperceptible, and yes, often indescribable. 00:03:33.58\00:03:38.35 How we feel about children and grandchildren 00:03:38.38\00:03:41.35 is often very difficult to describe to others. 00:03:41.38\00:03:44.79 I have a friend who once said to me, 00:03:44.82\00:03:46.82 "I've always heard people say something happens 00:03:46.86\00:03:49.22 when you have grandchildren, 00:03:49.26\00:03:51.16 but I didn't understand it until I got my own." 00:03:51.19\00:03:54.46 He said, "Let me explain. 00:03:54.50\00:03:56.60 My baby granddaughter was by the house the other day, 00:03:56.63\00:03:59.17 and she was fishing behind a credenza for a toy 00:03:59.20\00:04:01.90 she couldn't reach. 00:04:01.94\00:04:03.41 So she picked up the credenza, 00:04:03.44\00:04:05.27 and on it was my wife's most expensive lamp, 00:04:05.31\00:04:08.64 and that lamp came crashing to the floor." 00:04:08.68\00:04:12.15 He said, "If that was one of my children," 00:04:12.18\00:04:15.15 and then he said, "But you know what I heard myself say, 00:04:15.18\00:04:18.19 "Oh, look how strong my grand baby is." 00:04:18.22\00:04:22.46 Through relationships, one heart bonds with another. 00:04:22.49\00:04:26.80 And we find, in healthy relationships, 00:04:26.83\00:04:30.20 comfort, confidence, rest, and repose. 00:04:30.23\00:04:35.94 Godly relationships are conceived in sympathy, 00:04:35.97\00:04:39.37 and nurtured in love and compassion. 00:04:39.41\00:04:42.24 And those relationships 00:04:42.28\00:04:44.38 shape our character and our destiny. 00:04:44.41\00:04:50.69 The best relationships are authentic, positive, 00:04:50.72\00:04:54.52 and constructive relationships. 00:04:54.56\00:04:56.96 The best relationships provide support 00:04:56.99\00:04:59.83 in times of trial and adversity. 00:04:59.86\00:05:03.20 Often our careers and our noblest aspirations 00:05:03.23\00:05:06.77 are fulfilled by the relationships 00:05:06.80\00:05:09.60 we developed with people we respect 00:05:09.64\00:05:12.37 and people who took us into a mentoring relationship. 00:05:12.41\00:05:18.01 Now not all relationships are healthy. 00:05:18.05\00:05:20.88 When motives are impure 00:05:20.92\00:05:23.02 and misguided in a relationship, 00:05:23.05\00:05:25.49 that relationship can become our greatest curse. 00:05:25.52\00:05:29.49 Because of how it destroys the beauty of character, 00:05:29.52\00:05:34.70 many negative relationships in this world 00:05:34.73\00:05:37.73 are built on injustice, greed, and power. 00:05:37.77\00:05:41.54 When motives are misguided and impure, 00:05:41.57\00:05:44.81 those relationships become toxic and poisonous, 00:05:44.84\00:05:48.68 erratic and unstable. 00:05:48.71\00:05:51.51 Someone once said, "We learnt to fly the air like the birds 00:05:51.55\00:05:54.25 and swim the sea like the fishes, 00:05:54.28\00:05:56.58 when will we learn to walk the earth like brothers?" 00:05:56.62\00:06:00.62 Many think that their relationships to God 00:06:00.66\00:06:03.19 is all that matters and that they can then live 00:06:03.22\00:06:05.86 in any kind of way they want to 00:06:05.89\00:06:07.86 and treat people any kind of way they want to. 00:06:07.90\00:06:10.87 I want you to know God's church can never grow 00:06:10.90\00:06:14.44 with that kind of thinking. 00:06:14.47\00:06:16.94 We live in a world 00:06:16.97\00:06:18.57 where the only thing that keeps us from chaos 00:06:18.61\00:06:22.61 are healthy relationships. 00:06:22.64\00:06:25.41 Father, mother, children, and yes, even leaders, 00:06:25.45\00:06:29.18 the character of a leader can profoundly influence 00:06:29.22\00:06:34.12 the character of a nation. 00:06:34.16\00:06:36.96 As Dr. King once said, "We are bound together 00:06:36.99\00:06:40.96 by an inescapable network of mutuality." 00:06:41.00\00:06:46.47 In our world today, 00:06:46.50\00:06:48.27 there are relationships of blood and nationality, 00:06:48.30\00:06:50.81 there are casual relationships, professional relationships, 00:06:50.84\00:06:54.58 there are short term and long term relationships, 00:06:54.61\00:06:57.25 but all of those relationships were given to us by God 00:06:57.28\00:07:02.25 to strengthen and build our character. 00:07:02.28\00:07:06.35 I want you to see this video about strengthening 00:07:06.39\00:07:09.69 and building healthy relationships, 00:07:09.72\00:07:12.39 brought to us by our friends at the 700 Club. 00:07:12.43\00:07:17.87 It is a video that will inspire you, 00:07:17.90\00:07:20.44 and motivate you, and strengthen you, 00:07:20.47\00:07:22.90 and show you how you build relationships. 00:07:22.94\00:07:26.14 We were very much in love. 00:07:30.68\00:07:32.01 He asked me three weeks after we met, 00:07:32.05\00:07:34.52 if I would marry him, and I said yes. 00:07:34.55\00:07:36.55 We dreamed of serving God together, 00:07:36.58\00:07:39.12 we had a dream of having some sort of 00:07:39.15\00:07:41.96 world wide music ministry. 00:07:41.99\00:07:44.13 Pat and Gayle Hadley had high hopes 00:07:44.16\00:07:46.03 when they married. 00:07:46.06\00:07:47.46 But the daily responsibilities of work and family 00:07:47.50\00:07:50.43 soon took a toll. 00:07:50.47\00:07:51.97 The dreams that I had of traveling the world together 00:07:52.00\00:07:55.10 and, you know, singing for the Lord, 00:07:55.14\00:07:57.54 none of those had happened. 00:07:57.57\00:07:59.47 I think I took all that disappointment, 00:07:59.51\00:08:02.44 all that hurt, and I turned it towards Pat in a way 00:08:02.48\00:08:05.91 because I connected him with those lost dreams. 00:08:05.95\00:08:10.89 I wasn't really aware of how bad things really were. 00:08:10.92\00:08:14.29 So I just got to a point were I thought, 00:08:14.32\00:08:16.09 "Well, this is as good as it gets, 00:08:16.12\00:08:17.46 this is just the way it is. 00:08:17.49\00:08:18.96 This is the way it's going to be, 00:08:18.99\00:08:20.33 this is normal marriage." 00:08:20.36\00:08:21.70 I started focusing on the children, 00:08:21.73\00:08:23.57 and my relationship with my husband 00:08:23.60\00:08:25.97 became more of a business partnership. 00:08:26.00\00:08:30.27 Pat pastored a church in Alaska, 00:08:30.31\00:08:32.07 and Gayle served as the worship leader. 00:08:32.11\00:08:34.38 But as their ministry responsibilities increased, 00:08:34.41\00:08:37.21 so did the tension at home. 00:08:37.25\00:08:39.91 I always felt pressure to have a perfect marriage 00:08:39.95\00:08:43.05 as a pastor. 00:08:43.08\00:08:44.42 You're an example. 00:08:44.45\00:08:45.79 When marriages failed for pastors, it's, you know, 00:08:45.82\00:08:50.46 you got to find a new career. 00:08:50.49\00:08:52.69 Pat and I couldn't even be in the same room together. 00:08:52.73\00:08:55.66 I mean, without argument, 00:08:55.70\00:08:57.20 without there was constant arguing, 00:08:57.23\00:08:59.13 fighting over things. 00:08:59.17\00:09:00.70 I was living downstairs, she was living upstairs. 00:09:00.74\00:09:03.30 We meet together in the kitchen, 00:09:03.34\00:09:05.47 talk about things that we needed to talk about, 00:09:05.51\00:09:07.44 and then go about our lives. 00:09:07.48\00:09:09.58 For 23 years, Pat and Gayle went through the motions. 00:09:09.61\00:09:13.18 But after a blow up on the day 00:09:13.21\00:09:14.58 their daughter left for college, 00:09:14.62\00:09:16.52 Gayle told Pat she'd had enough. 00:09:16.55\00:09:18.99 Everything I did was either for my children, 00:09:19.02\00:09:21.12 or for my husband, or for the church, 00:09:21.16\00:09:23.66 you know, it was... 00:09:23.69\00:09:25.19 I felt like I was gone like, there was no me anymore. 00:09:25.23\00:09:30.63 I didn't want to do this anymore. 00:09:30.67\00:09:32.83 I didn't want to be married. 00:09:32.87\00:09:34.37 I didn't want to be a pastor's wife anymore, 00:09:34.40\00:09:37.87 that I was just done. 00:09:37.91\00:09:40.28 That was the lowest moment because I never, 00:09:40.31\00:09:43.81 I never stopped loving my wife. 00:09:43.85\00:09:46.72 I didn't want my marriage to end. 00:09:46.75\00:09:48.55 I didn't want my family to suffer divorce. 00:09:48.58\00:09:52.32 And then I heard God's voice. 00:09:52.35\00:09:53.96 And He said to me, "Come to me, 00:09:53.99\00:09:55.96 and I will heal you." 00:09:55.99\00:09:57.43 And at one point I said, "Heal me? 00:09:57.46\00:10:00.46 I don't need to be healed. I need you to heal her." 00:10:00.50\00:10:03.47 Pat heeded God's voice 00:10:03.50\00:10:05.13 and in an attempt to find his own healing, 00:10:05.17\00:10:07.34 met with a local Christian counselor and author, 00:10:07.37\00:10:09.60 Art Mathias and began reading his book, 00:10:09.64\00:10:12.11 Biblical Foundations of Freedom. 00:10:12.14\00:10:14.24 In that book, I learned that I needed to forgive 00:10:14.28\00:10:21.05 that if I was going to be obedient to Jesus 00:10:21.08\00:10:24.29 and obedient to God, I had to learn 00:10:24.32\00:10:26.76 how to really forgive people from my heart. 00:10:26.79\00:10:31.06 Not only my wife, 00:10:31.09\00:10:33.09 but everyone in my life that had hurt me. 00:10:33.13\00:10:35.90 I began to pray for her. 00:10:35.93\00:10:38.03 And I'd never really done that in my marriage 00:10:38.07\00:10:41.07 because as long as I was bitter, 00:10:41.10\00:10:43.51 I wasn't going to pray for her, 00:10:43.54\00:10:45.37 because the bitterness was blocking it, 00:10:45.41\00:10:47.08 so I started praying prayers. 00:10:47.11\00:10:48.71 I had a little bit more authority 00:10:48.74\00:10:50.48 of having behind them. 00:10:50.51\00:10:52.15 You know, in the name of Jesus, 00:10:52.18\00:10:54.02 Satan, you cannot have my family, 00:10:54.05\00:10:55.95 you cannot have my wife. 00:10:55.98\00:10:57.62 You need to get out of here and leave her alone. 00:10:57.65\00:11:00.69 Some nights, I went into our bedroom, 00:11:00.72\00:11:03.76 I laid down on the floor by the bed and I prayed, 00:11:03.79\00:11:07.23 I prayed silently so she couldn't hear me 00:11:07.26\00:11:09.06 but God could hear me. 00:11:09.10\00:11:10.57 It didn't take long for Gayle to notice, 00:11:10.60\00:11:12.60 there was something different about Pat. 00:11:12.63\00:11:14.90 He wasn't even fun to argue with anymore 00:11:14.94\00:11:16.97 because I couldn't get him to argue with me. 00:11:17.01\00:11:19.57 So I asked him, I'm like, 00:11:19.61\00:11:22.54 "What have you been doing because you're different. 00:11:22.58\00:11:26.05 You're giving me lots of space which is good, 00:11:26.08\00:11:28.88 I needed that but you're different. 00:11:28.92\00:11:31.09 What's going on?" 00:11:31.12\00:11:32.85 And I talked to her about forgiveness. 00:11:32.89\00:11:34.39 And I said, you know, 00:11:34.42\00:11:35.92 I have a lot of things to fix in me. 00:11:35.96\00:11:38.46 And it's not about you, it's me, 00:11:38.49\00:11:41.26 and God needs to fix some things in me, 00:11:41.30\00:11:43.20 and so I'm going to do that. 00:11:43.23\00:11:44.83 I have been trying to fix things 00:11:44.87\00:11:47.04 by my might and my power, 00:11:47.07\00:11:49.30 and I was learning how to fix things by His spirit 00:11:49.34\00:11:52.64 so that and that's the only thing that worked. 00:11:52.67\00:11:54.74 Gayle began to see God on her own 00:11:54.78\00:11:56.98 and to try to understand forgiveness in a new light. 00:11:57.01\00:12:00.28 These things that I had been holding on to for years, 00:12:00.32\00:12:03.15 all these things that have happened to me, 00:12:03.18\00:12:04.85 I had the wrong focus of what was wrong, 00:12:04.89\00:12:07.06 and I though Pat was the enemy, 00:12:07.09\00:12:09.12 and that people in the church were the enemy, 00:12:09.16\00:12:12.69 and even my family, you know, 00:12:12.73\00:12:15.16 I had seen them in the wrong way. 00:12:15.20\00:12:19.77 And that they were not the enemy, 00:12:19.80\00:12:21.64 and that I could forgive. 00:12:21.67\00:12:27.04 And I just started feeling joy again. 00:12:27.08\00:12:31.55 And it was such an amazing thing 00:12:31.58\00:12:34.55 to feel this warmth, and this love, and this joy 00:12:34.58\00:12:37.45 that I hadn't felt for years. 00:12:37.49\00:12:40.39 Hope was springing up in me 00:12:40.42\00:12:43.09 that my marriage could be saved. 00:12:43.12\00:12:45.56 She was becoming a new person. And I watched it. 00:12:45.59\00:12:49.66 And I was like, "This is what I've been praying for." 00:12:49.70\00:12:52.47 Now God was showing up, and reworking her and me, 00:12:52.50\00:12:58.37 and it was beautiful. 00:12:58.41\00:13:00.31 These were things that were new to us. 00:13:00.34\00:13:02.68 So what we were really learning is we're learning 00:13:02.71\00:13:04.45 how to take the teachings in the Bible 00:13:04.48\00:13:06.61 and make them real in our lives. 00:13:06.65\00:13:08.68 Today, Pat and Gayle say 00:13:08.72\00:13:10.22 their marriage has never been stronger. 00:13:10.25\00:13:13.09 I never knew that it could be this good. 00:13:13.12\00:13:16.89 I never knew that this is what life could be 00:13:16.93\00:13:20.50 like being married. 00:13:20.53\00:13:22.56 She is my best friend, and she is my partner, 00:13:22.60\00:13:26.67 and we face life together. 00:13:26.70\00:13:29.37 And it's awesome. 00:13:29.40\00:13:31.37 He's the first one that when something happens to me, 00:13:31.41\00:13:34.08 I want to share it with him. 00:13:34.11\00:13:35.44 And I have hope for our future together. 00:13:35.48\00:13:37.51 Well, I'm so thankful that God showed me the way, 00:13:37.55\00:13:41.65 showed us the way of life, 00:13:41.68\00:13:44.05 and showed us how to live life together. 00:13:44.09\00:13:46.52 Joining us again are my guests 00:13:51.69\00:13:54.10 Ruthie Jacobsen, Adly Campos, and Errol Stoddart. 00:13:54.13\00:13:59.17 I wanted to start of by asking each of you, 00:13:59.20\00:14:04.51 do you have a memory of probably 00:14:04.54\00:14:06.27 the most influential relationship 00:14:06.31\00:14:10.11 that you've had with another human being 00:14:10.15\00:14:13.01 in your life? 00:14:13.05\00:14:14.48 I know, most of us would say our spouses, 00:14:14.52\00:14:17.92 but I wanted you to go beyond your spouse, 00:14:17.95\00:14:20.39 maybe when you were growing up, in terms of understanding 00:14:20.42\00:14:26.33 the importance of surrendering to Christ. 00:14:26.36\00:14:29.56 Can you think of the person, or a person 00:14:29.60\00:14:33.20 that has influenced your life profoundly, 00:14:33.23\00:14:36.94 the relationship you had with them, 00:14:36.97\00:14:38.54 influential life profoundly? 00:14:38.57\00:14:39.97 Sister Campos? 00:14:40.01\00:14:42.41 Yes, I'm thinking on Dr. Charles Taylor, 00:14:42.44\00:14:45.81 he was the president of the Montemorelos University 00:14:45.85\00:14:49.08 at the time I was a student. 00:14:49.12\00:14:51.49 He inspired my life, 00:14:51.52\00:14:55.19 he tried each and every day in everything he did 00:14:55.22\00:14:59.19 to resemble the character of Christ. 00:14:59.23\00:15:03.33 And how about you, Pastor Stoddart? 00:15:03.37\00:15:06.20 Probably, two people. 00:15:06.23\00:15:08.00 Dr. Benjamin Reeves, 00:15:08.04\00:15:09.47 my homiletic's professor at Oakwood. 00:15:09.50\00:15:11.64 Yes, he was mine teacher too. 00:15:11.67\00:15:13.01 Just a steady man, levelheaded, calm spirit, 00:15:13.04\00:15:17.81 and probably the opposite of him 00:15:17.85\00:15:20.38 was Dr. Cleveland, EE Cleveland. 00:15:20.42\00:15:24.35 He was the firebrand but Dr. Cleveland, 00:15:24.39\00:15:28.36 sitting in his class was really the thing 00:15:28.39\00:15:31.19 that drove home to my heart 00:15:31.23\00:15:34.90 how special I was in the eyes of God, 00:15:34.93\00:15:38.03 and how God saw me, and how God sees us, 00:15:38.07\00:15:41.84 His deep love for us. 00:15:41.87\00:15:43.41 Dr. Cleveland's class was where 00:15:43.44\00:15:46.01 that transformative moment took place. 00:15:46.04\00:15:48.94 How about you, Ruthie? 00:15:48.98\00:15:52.65 Well, I'd have to say that one of the people 00:15:52.68\00:15:55.58 who influenced me was Elder CD Brooks. 00:15:55.62\00:15:59.45 Many, many years ago, I was living in Dayton, Ohio, 00:15:59.49\00:16:03.39 working in Nursing Service Administration 00:16:03.43\00:16:05.79 at the Kettering Medical Center. 00:16:05.83\00:16:08.03 And this is before we were married. 00:16:08.06\00:16:10.63 I used to go out 00:16:10.67\00:16:12.37 to Germantown Church near Dayton, 00:16:12.40\00:16:15.80 and CD Brooks would come out there every Thanksgiving, 00:16:15.84\00:16:18.44 and he'd come out at other times too. 00:16:18.47\00:16:20.48 And he sometimes had evangelistic crusades 00:16:20.51\00:16:22.84 in Cincinnati or other places. 00:16:22.88\00:16:25.11 And I would be so thrilled to sit at his feet 00:16:25.15\00:16:28.88 because he taught Jesus. 00:16:28.92\00:16:32.39 He taught amazing grace. Yes. 00:16:32.42\00:16:35.02 And I think it was, although I've grown up 00:16:35.06\00:16:38.73 in an Adventist home and my parents were praying, 00:16:38.76\00:16:42.50 godly people, I was first influenced by them. 00:16:42.53\00:16:46.87 But CD just was somebody that waters your soul. 00:16:46.90\00:16:52.21 Yeah, yeah. 00:16:52.24\00:16:53.58 You know, when we all think back, 00:16:53.61\00:16:57.78 different names come to our minds. 00:16:57.81\00:16:59.75 And for me, Elder EE Cleveland, 00:16:59.78\00:17:03.82 I was a teenager, I was a teenager. 00:17:03.85\00:17:07.62 And I remember, they said this, 00:17:07.66\00:17:11.13 "Preacher from the general conference 00:17:11.16\00:17:12.49 was coming to speak at Oakwood College then, 00:17:12.53\00:17:15.26 now Oakwood University. 00:17:15.30\00:17:16.97 And I remember so clearly sitting there, 00:17:17.00\00:17:20.40 and as they were reading his vitae 00:17:20.44\00:17:22.77 and his long list of accomplishments, 00:17:22.80\00:17:25.31 I was focused on him. 00:17:25.34\00:17:26.71 And he had his eyes closed, he had his hand on his chin, 00:17:26.74\00:17:29.31 he was patting his feet, 00:17:29.34\00:17:30.68 and he was rocking back and forth. 00:17:30.71\00:17:32.91 And when he got up to speak, he soared, 00:17:32.95\00:17:35.98 and I deduced that his soaring probably had something to do 00:17:36.02\00:17:39.92 with his preflight checklist, you know. 00:17:39.95\00:17:43.46 Whatever he was going through, 00:17:43.49\00:17:45.79 that was going to help him fly, you know. 00:17:45.83\00:17:48.10 And so when they would introduced me as a teenager 00:17:48.13\00:17:51.20 at Oakwood, I closed my eyes and I put my hand on my chin, 00:17:51.23\00:17:55.67 and I pat my feet, and I had rocked too 00:17:55.70\00:17:58.41 when they were introducing me. 00:17:58.44\00:17:59.97 But little did I know that I was entering into 00:18:00.01\00:18:03.14 what would become the secret of all of my blessings 00:18:03.18\00:18:07.02 and success in life and ministry. 00:18:07.05\00:18:09.38 And that is, I was learning to go to the mountain 00:18:09.42\00:18:12.82 before I went to the multitude. 00:18:12.85\00:18:15.32 So when I came down off the mountain, 00:18:15.36\00:18:18.19 my voice was shining, my face was shining, 00:18:18.23\00:18:21.20 my relationship with Christ was being reflected. 00:18:21.23\00:18:24.90 We all know that relationships profoundly 00:18:24.93\00:18:29.90 impact our character. 00:18:29.94\00:18:31.27 The Bible talks about bad associations 00:18:31.31\00:18:35.71 corrupting good morals, for example. 00:18:35.74\00:18:38.81 But, Pastor Stoddart, in what way do you see 00:18:38.85\00:18:42.35 the power of relationships 00:18:42.38\00:18:44.59 impacting profoundly our character? 00:18:44.62\00:18:49.22 It has a tremendous impact, you know, 00:18:49.26\00:18:52.56 the old folks would say, when I was growing up, 00:18:52.59\00:18:54.76 if you hang around dogs, your cats flee. 00:18:54.80\00:18:56.83 Yeah. 00:18:56.87\00:18:59.13 There is this sling of assimilation 00:18:59.17\00:19:02.57 that takes place up based on association. 00:19:02.60\00:19:06.24 And there's no doubt, Moses on the mountain, 00:19:06.27\00:19:09.28 his being in the presence of God, 00:19:09.31\00:19:12.81 when he came down, the Bible says, 00:19:12.85\00:19:14.72 his face was shining so much 00:19:14.75\00:19:16.65 so that they had to cover his face, 00:19:16.69\00:19:18.89 they could not look at his face at all. 00:19:18.92\00:19:21.46 And that's the reflection of association 00:19:21.49\00:19:25.36 in being in the presence of God. 00:19:25.39\00:19:27.10 Elijah with Elisha, and so on, and so on, and so forth. 00:19:27.13\00:19:32.17 If you see the biblical examples 00:19:32.20\00:19:33.84 over and over again of people hanging around somebody 00:19:33.87\00:19:39.34 who had a connection with God, and by their association, 00:19:39.37\00:19:43.55 they experienced in their own walk 00:19:43.58\00:19:46.35 a connection with God. 00:19:46.38\00:19:47.72 How about you, Sister Campos? 00:19:47.75\00:19:49.08 How important do you think relationships are 00:19:49.12\00:19:52.95 in the development of Christian character? 00:19:52.99\00:19:56.76 So important that specially in the family, 00:19:56.79\00:20:02.30 parents are to be very careful on how they reflect God 00:20:02.33\00:20:07.44 in their own lives at home, because children learn more so 00:20:07.47\00:20:13.74 from observing the conduct, the behavior of the parents 00:20:13.78\00:20:18.41 than words or punishment. 00:20:18.45\00:20:21.62 So therefore, it has a lot of influence on us, 00:20:21.65\00:20:26.55 what we learn at home. 00:20:26.59\00:20:28.22 Even though our parents might not be perfect, no, no, 00:20:28.26\00:20:33.09 according to their world standard, 00:20:33.13\00:20:35.86 they still are reflecting Jesus' character. 00:20:35.90\00:20:40.57 Especially, I teach in my seminars, 00:20:40.60\00:20:44.34 fathers, the figure, the male figure 00:20:44.37\00:20:47.21 has to be so careful in the way he behaves, he conducts himself 00:20:47.24\00:20:52.25 because children tend to think of God as a male. 00:20:52.28\00:20:57.45 Yes. 00:20:57.49\00:20:58.82 Father, we say our father which art in heaven. 00:20:58.85\00:21:02.16 And they will compare their father on earth 00:21:02.19\00:21:06.70 with the father on heaven. 00:21:06.73\00:21:09.10 So we have to be so careful in how we represent 00:21:09.13\00:21:13.74 God's character before our children, 00:21:13.77\00:21:16.30 before our little ones, before our own family, 00:21:16.34\00:21:18.81 and then to others. 00:21:18.84\00:21:21.34 Ruthie, what do you think about that? 00:21:21.38\00:21:24.28 What do you think, and why do you think 00:21:24.31\00:21:26.95 that relationships are so important 00:21:26.98\00:21:30.19 in developing character? 00:21:30.22\00:21:31.55 And as you think about that, 00:21:31.59\00:21:32.92 I want to ask you two questions. 00:21:32.95\00:21:34.29 And the second one really is, have you seen miracles 00:21:34.32\00:21:39.03 in prayer to transform relationships, 00:21:39.06\00:21:43.37 and how they've impacted other people's lives? 00:21:43.40\00:21:48.00 Absolutely. 00:21:48.04\00:21:49.47 I'm convinced there's nothing else, 00:21:49.50\00:21:52.01 there is nothing else. 00:21:52.04\00:21:54.18 I have seen people who have been sure 00:21:54.21\00:21:57.35 that they were at the very bottom, 00:21:57.38\00:21:59.21 and suicidal, you know, and just had no place to go. 00:21:59.25\00:22:05.49 And when they came to prayer meeting, 00:22:05.52\00:22:07.69 and they were surrounded by loving people 00:22:07.72\00:22:10.33 who placed hands on them and prayed over them, 00:22:10.36\00:22:13.60 believing and praying in the name of Jesus. 00:22:13.63\00:22:17.40 You know, heaven, it's just like 00:22:17.43\00:22:19.63 the Peterson song. 00:22:19.67\00:22:21.64 Heaven came down and glory fills your soul. 00:22:21.67\00:22:24.87 But it comes through people, it comes through people. 00:22:24.91\00:22:29.01 God works through His people. 00:22:29.04\00:22:31.25 Wintley, I have to tell you, one of the things 00:22:31.28\00:22:34.18 that I still remember about the prayer meetings 00:22:34.22\00:22:36.45 at Capitol Hill 00:22:36.48\00:22:37.85 was how those young professional people 00:22:37.89\00:22:40.89 would line up to give their testimonies. 00:22:40.92\00:22:43.32 Yes, you remember that. Everybody has a story. 00:22:43.36\00:22:46.53 Every body has a story. Yeah. 00:22:46.56\00:22:48.56 And God uses those stories to encourage. 00:22:48.60\00:22:51.90 And when you share your story, 00:22:51.93\00:22:54.67 it not only blesses people who hear this story, 00:22:54.70\00:22:58.37 but it encourages your own heart. 00:22:58.41\00:23:00.38 So relationships are just... 00:23:00.41\00:23:02.54 I think this is a paramount subject 00:23:02.58\00:23:05.08 to the heart of God. 00:23:05.11\00:23:06.45 Pastor Stoddart. Let me say this, Wintley. 00:23:06.48\00:23:08.98 I took a class recently called theories of personality. 00:23:09.02\00:23:13.49 It was a very interesting class. 00:23:13.52\00:23:14.86 I just wanted to sharpen my soul as they say. 00:23:14.89\00:23:18.09 And one of the things they talked about in the class 00:23:18.13\00:23:20.60 was, they talked about a religious personality. 00:23:20.63\00:23:24.67 And they said that the way 00:23:24.70\00:23:26.80 a religious personality gets developed is that 00:23:26.84\00:23:29.90 it's passed on through heredity. 00:23:29.94\00:23:32.67 It's comes from grandparents to parents 00:23:32.71\00:23:35.91 down to grandchildren. 00:23:35.94\00:23:37.28 I thought to myself, "That is unbelievable." 00:23:37.31\00:23:40.18 There is a thing in psychology called a religious personality 00:23:40.22\00:23:44.92 that seemingly has the capacity to be transferred generational. 00:23:44.95\00:23:50.19 And the teacher says, 00:23:50.23\00:23:51.73 "Sometimes it may skip a generation 00:23:51.76\00:23:54.13 but catches up with the following generation." 00:23:54.16\00:23:56.16 Right, right. 00:23:56.20\00:23:57.53 And I thought to myself, "That is so powerful 00:23:57.57\00:24:00.67 to know that what a parent is doing today 00:24:00.70\00:24:04.47 or what your grandparents did 50, 60 years ago 00:24:04.51\00:24:08.78 were seeds that were sown in preparation 00:24:08.81\00:24:12.18 for who we are today spiritually." 00:24:12.21\00:24:15.08 It was so profound to me. 00:24:15.12\00:24:16.45 Yeah, yes. Amen. 00:24:16.48\00:24:18.39 I made a statement at the beginning 00:24:18.42\00:24:20.26 that God looks at our relationships 00:24:20.29\00:24:24.56 to determine our fitness for heaven. 00:24:24.59\00:24:28.76 He looks at our relationship with Him, you know, 00:24:28.80\00:24:32.70 He wants to be sure we are happy with Him, 00:24:32.73\00:24:37.71 and happy in Him, because He does not want us 00:24:37.74\00:24:41.84 to come to eternity unhappy. 00:24:41.88\00:24:45.25 And then He looks at our relationships 00:24:45.28\00:24:48.18 with those, as Sister Campos was saying, 00:24:48.22\00:24:51.02 those who are closest to us, you know. 00:24:51.05\00:24:55.32 I often tell my wife, 00:24:55.36\00:24:57.03 we just have a few more seconds. 00:24:57.06\00:24:58.46 I tell my wife that I have to speak to her 00:24:58.49\00:25:04.37 the way I planned to speak to her 00:25:04.40\00:25:07.14 in the kingdom of heaven. 00:25:07.17\00:25:08.97 Amen. 00:25:09.00\00:25:10.34 I love that. 00:25:10.37\00:25:11.71 Yes. 00:25:11.74\00:25:13.48 So I envisioned myself sitting in heaven 00:25:13.51\00:25:16.61 across the table, you know, for my wife. 00:25:16.64\00:25:19.91 And the way I planned to speak to her there 00:25:19.95\00:25:23.28 is the way I want to speak to her right here now, 00:25:23.32\00:25:27.32 because the Lord looks at our relationships 00:25:27.36\00:25:31.83 to determine our fitness for heaven. 00:25:31.86\00:25:35.50 Thank you so much, you guys. 00:25:35.53\00:25:36.93 If we had all think that way, Pastor, 00:25:36.97\00:25:39.47 then there will be no divorce. 00:25:39.50\00:25:41.00 That's right, there'll be no divorce 00:25:41.04\00:25:42.50 if we all thought that way. 00:25:42.54\00:25:44.44 God bless you. 00:25:44.47\00:25:45.81 Thank so much for being with us today. 00:25:45.84\00:25:47.18 Sin entered the world 00:25:52.31\00:25:53.65 because Eve's relationship with God was compromised, 00:25:53.68\00:25:57.12 shattered, ruptured, and broken. 00:25:57.15\00:26:00.22 And with the broken relationship 00:26:00.26\00:26:02.72 came a deformed character. 00:26:02.76\00:26:05.96 Jesus came to this world to live and die, 00:26:05.99\00:26:10.57 to repair the relationship between God and man, 00:26:10.60\00:26:15.40 and to restore the character and image of God in man. 00:26:15.44\00:26:21.04 And now everything in eternity hangs on a relationship. 00:26:21.08\00:26:27.98 For us, it is a relationship with Jesus 00:26:28.02\00:26:31.22 and our relationship with others. 00:26:31.25\00:26:34.86 And Satan knows that, and that's 00:26:34.89\00:26:37.53 why when the enemy wants to discourage 00:26:37.56\00:26:39.59 and dishearten us, 00:26:39.63\00:26:41.26 when he wants to disappoint and depress us, 00:26:41.30\00:26:44.50 the first place he attacks is our relationships. 00:26:44.53\00:26:50.61 Satan knows that before he can destroy us, 00:26:50.64\00:26:53.68 he has to first damage, devastate, 00:26:53.71\00:26:57.25 and destroy our relationships. 00:26:57.28\00:27:00.75 Servant of God said, 00:27:00.78\00:27:02.12 "I saw that it is in the providence of God 00:27:02.15\00:27:04.19 that widows and orphans, the blind, the deaf, 00:27:04.22\00:27:07.02 the lame, and persons afflicted in a variety of ways 00:27:07.06\00:27:10.23 have been placed in close Christian relationship 00:27:10.26\00:27:14.06 to His church to prove His people 00:27:14.10\00:27:17.77 and develop their true character." 00:27:17.80\00:27:21.27 I want you to know, God's blessings 00:27:21.30\00:27:24.54 will rest upon our relationships. 00:27:24.57\00:27:27.18 He uses relationships to determine our fitness 00:27:27.21\00:27:32.78 for heaven. 00:27:32.81\00:27:34.32 And so thank God for the relationships 00:27:34.35\00:27:37.32 that you have. 00:27:37.35\00:27:38.82 Thank God for the relationships He's placed in your life. 00:27:38.85\00:27:43.83 I'm Wintley Phipps, and remember, 00:27:43.86\00:27:47.00 to be a Christian means to be Christ-like. 00:27:47.03\00:27:52.00