The following program
discusses sensitive issues.
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Parents are cautioned that
some material may be too candid
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for younger children.
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Hello, welcome to Pure Choices.
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My name is Brittany Hill-Morales
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and I am today's host.
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Today we have a
really great topic
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that we're about to discuss.
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It's about intimacy and prayer.
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But before we
begin this discussion,
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let's have a prayer
and talk to God about it.
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Dear most
heavenly Father, dear Lord,
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as we're about to
have another discussion
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I pray dear Lord that
You will be here with us
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and you'll also be
with the viewers at home,
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in Jesus' name, amen.
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Amen.
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For today, we have
two wonderful guests.
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We have Dajanae Anderson.
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She's a graduate
student over in Texas.
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And we also have
Pastor Keith Hackle
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who lives in
Iowa with his family.
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When I got married,
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well, actually two
days before I got married,
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I went by this family's home
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where my sister
was doing my hair,
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and we began having the
conversation on sexuality,
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and the fact that I
was about to get married.
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So, you know, sex,
you probably have to have.
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So like, "Do you
have everything you need,
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do you have all
the information?"
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I was like, "I think I
do, maybe I'm not sure."
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So they started giving
me their words of wisdom.
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And one of the first
things they said was prayer.
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And I said, "Prayer? Okay.
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That I think, I
think we can do that."
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They are like, "No,
no, no seriously, pray."
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My sister and her
husband were there
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and they were like, pray,
what are you talking about?
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Because it sounds, you know,
initially it sounds strange.
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How can you integrate
prayer into that moment?
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What does that even look like?
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Do you have to have
a huge prayer session,
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devotional time?
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What is intimacy and prayer?
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How about you guys?
What was your experience?
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I definitely believe that
intimacy in prayer is something
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that should happen in
the context of marriage
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that you should pray
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while even during
sex with your spouse.
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There was something
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that the Lord
showed me in the Bible.
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One passage is in John
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and John is talking about how...
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Well, Christ is talking about
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how Christ yearns
for us to be one with Him
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just as He is
one with the Father.
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And in that holy,
in that holy union,
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the Lord showed me that
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that is a part of
just this oneness,
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this conversation of oneness
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put my mind back to
Genesis, and how God said that
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when man and
woman come together,
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there is a oneness that
takes place in the sex act,
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in the sex event so to speak.
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And so within that
it's like yes the Lord is...
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The Lord being present in the...
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And you're praying
and being in awareness
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of the presence of God
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when during the sex
act is definitely something
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that I think we should do.
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For me it was
foreign, I'll be honest.
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It wasn't until I
was sitting in seminary
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and a professor was
presenting on this very topic
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and she said, "You
know sex and God and prayer
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all go together."
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And I'm sitting
there and I'm trying to...
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I'm grappling with that
thing because for a long time
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I thought it was
just me and my wife.
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I hadn't thought about the fact
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that God sees
and knows everything
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and that this is a
union between me and my wife.
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So if we're doing
something that pleases God
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or that God has ordained
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then it makes sense that
He would be in the midst,
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and so therefore we
should bring Him in before,
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during and even
after the sex act.
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Yeah. I know even when...
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Like when I was in high school
and my relationship with God,
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I was 14 and so I was a
freshman in high school.
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And my relationship
with God became very serious.
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The Lord showed me
that He was always there
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that when I asked
Him to be in my heart
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and to live in me and
to be present with me,
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then that meant wherever I went,
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God was there, God
was in the midst with me.
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And for me that wasn't
a... That wasn't a bad thing.
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I think that's the
beauty that comes with
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being in a
relationship with God first
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and then with
another human being
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because with God you realize
that God sees your good times,
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God sees your bad times,
and God yearns for you still.
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God desires a
relationship with us still.
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And that's what takes place
in a marriage relationship.
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Your spouse does not
just see your good times
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like the people who you
interact with in public.
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Your spouse sees
when you do things
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that aren't the
smartest things in the world
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or when you get upset,
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your spouse sees all of
that and yearns for you still.
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And so that amount
of... That to me is intimacy.
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Just the desire to know my
good and bad and still want me
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is something that
is extremely intimate.
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And so that, that's
where I see those two things
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definitely come together,
prayer and intimacy i.e. sex.
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It's interesting that
we would just briefly,
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we would pray over our food.
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We pray and ask God
for travail and mercy...
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We pray and ask God to protect
our children, our family.
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So we ask Him to be involved
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in all of these
other facets of our life.
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But it's interesting
that there's one area
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where we're like,
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"No, God can't be
involved with that."
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And I think that
should be an area
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where He's more involved
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because then it
limits the things
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that we're willing to do.
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Understanding that God is
in the midst of this thing
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and it becomes a holy act
and not just some dirty act
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that some
individuals would classify it.
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Right.
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And as we keep on
having this discussion
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about intimacy and prayer,
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some of them might be wondering,
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"Wait, God doesn't
cover his eyes during sex,
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during sexual intercourse.
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He doesn't give me
that moment private,"
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because like,
Dajanae, as you were saying,
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God is everywhere.
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He sees
everything, hears everything
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that might have...
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Kind of startled a few
people that He hears everything
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but He's always there.
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So why does God
not cover His eyes?
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I really don't want
Him to cover His eyes.
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There may be
something that happens
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during that encounter
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that I would really
want God, if need it be,
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need Him to be
there and be on duty
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to make sure
everything was going well.
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But it's interesting that
we even have this ideology
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and it reminds me of a
story that I heard about nuns
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who would go into the bathroom
but not take their robe off
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because they didn't
want God to see them naked.
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And as I heard that,
I'm thinking and I'm saying,
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"Well, wait a minute, God
can see into the building,
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so He can see through
the walls of the building.
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He can see through the
walls into the bathroom,
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but all of a
sudden His ability stops
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when it gets to you being naked.
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And that doesn't
make sense at all.
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And so the same thing
happens as it relates to God
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seeing us in our intimate times,
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Him seeing us in our low
times, our emotional times
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like we want Him
to always be on guard,
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be on duty and be
there to be our God,
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that's who He is.
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Yeah, I know, I
definitely agree with that.
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I definitely agree
with that. There is a...
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There is a comfort that comes
with knowing that God is there.
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There is a...
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Like you were saying,
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if within the
marriage bedroom say,
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you know, say I
do something wrong
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or say my spouse
does something wrong,
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being able to pray
about it afterwards
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and saying, "Okay, Lord,
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how can I better serve my spouse
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in this sexual encounter
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that I'm having with him?"
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If God's not...
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If God wasn't there
to see what I did wrong,
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you know, then how
is God going to tell me
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how to better be
intimate with my partner.
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And so thinking about sexuality
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as another level
of being intimate
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is a better way to
see it that if God,
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you know, the Bible
talks about Christ...
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God knowing when you
leave and when you come in,
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no matter where you are,
the presence of God is there.
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And so, you know, like
I've already stated there is...
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there is a blessing in knowing
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that God is there in
the good and the bad there,
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when I know what I'm
doing and when I have no clue
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especially when it
comes to the marriage bedroom.
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I would even add if
you're having feelings
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of not fully being there,
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something else was on your mind,
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and you're feeling
remorseful, and you want to say,
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"God, my spouse
thinks I was there
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but I wasn't there..."
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To me that happens and you say,
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"God, how do I...? Do
I have this conversation?
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Can you forgive me
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for not taking this
opportunity serious?"
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People have different
emotions, different feelings.
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And if God wasn't there
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it's kind of like you
feel guilty for no reason...
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Or you are going
through these different feelings
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and they're not justifiable
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because God wasn't there
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to comfort you
through that time.
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And knowing that
God was there helps.
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And that pulls
into the other question
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that some people are asking,
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"Wait, you want me to pray
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to God during sex?
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What?
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Isn't praying to God been
a little bit over religious?
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Aren't you guys doing the most?"
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I wouldn't say so.
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I wouldn't say as I do, I pray.
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So, you know, I'll
just say this isn't some...
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This isn't like
some abstract thing that,
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you know, we're
having a conversation about.
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I believe all three of us pray.
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I know I pray during
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and there's a peace that I have,
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an understanding
that this is worship,
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and understanding that
this is approved by God
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and understanding this
that this act is sacred
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that there is a...
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It just adds
that much more rich,
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richness to the event that,
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that no, the
whole world doesn't see.
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But there are holy
angels, pure and undefiled
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that God himself approves
of what I'm doing right now
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and is actually
empowering the moment.
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And I don't, I
don't see, I don't,
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I don't see
anything wrong with it.
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Me either. I
fully agree with you.
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And we ask God, right?
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So before when we get
married, before we get married
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God blessed us as union.
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We say, "I do,
God bless this union."
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And then there become
certain areas of our marriage
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that we stop taking to God.
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Now we've asked Him to
bless this union, right?
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And so we need to ask Him to
be in all facets of this thing.
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When we join together
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and we're having
the sexual experience,
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sexual encounter,
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we need God for
you to direct us,
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make sure that we don't
go outside of the bounds
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where we should.
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Make sure we're not bringing
in ideologies or practices
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that don't glorify you.
00:12:02.65\00:12:04.69
I think the word that you used
worship is vitally important.
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If we look at it
as a form of worship,
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then that makes it more special.
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And so if I'm worshipping,
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then I definitely want God
to be a part of this thing.
00:12:15.83\00:12:18.20
I definitely need you
to come in and to direct
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and to give us guidance
as we go through this thing
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because we
don't know everything.
00:12:23.81\00:12:26.34
And we want to make sure
that this is a mutual experience
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that we're both happy,
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that we're both being fulfilled.
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And if that's not taking place,
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then does that really
necessarily please God?
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Right. Right.
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And there is...
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With the
conversation of the reality
00:12:39.39\00:12:42.02
that when you marry your spouse,
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you do not know your spouse
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as well as God
knows your spouse.
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That's just a reality and to...
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For those who
may not be married,
00:12:52.03\00:12:54.80
it is not automatic
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that you receive
pleasure right away
00:12:58.34\00:13:00.88
if, you know,
I'm saying that way,
00:13:00.91\00:13:02.71
then not everyone receives
00:13:02.74\00:13:04.88
the maximum amount of
pleasure in the bedroom.
00:13:04.91\00:13:09.18
But there are some...
00:13:09.22\00:13:10.62
There are little
things that you have to know
00:13:10.65\00:13:12.69
what to do in
order for your spouse
00:13:12.72\00:13:15.06
to receive the
maximum amount of pleasure.
00:13:15.09\00:13:17.39
And who better to
consult with than God
00:13:17.43\00:13:22.46
because sometimes your spouse
may not be able to tell you,
00:13:22.50\00:13:25.70
you know, they
may try but to be...
00:13:25.73\00:13:29.90
Me personally and
I'm not perfect in it.
00:13:29.94\00:13:32.37
But me personally,
00:13:32.41\00:13:33.74
when I am in
conversations with people,
00:13:33.78\00:13:37.01
especially when it's maybe
like in a counseling session
00:13:37.05\00:13:40.08
where I'm trying to help
them, I'm trying to serve them,
00:13:40.12\00:13:43.65
then I am processing
what they're saying to me,
00:13:43.69\00:13:46.59
the information
that they are giving,
00:13:46.62\00:13:48.16
but I am still, but I'm
also praying in my mind.
00:13:48.19\00:13:52.19
So when we say
prayer, that's not necessarily
00:13:52.23\00:13:54.63
while you're in the act,
00:13:54.66\00:13:56.00
you're out loud
talking to God like, you know,
00:13:56.03\00:13:58.73
and maybe some people do that,
00:13:58.77\00:14:00.10
but I don't quite
see how that works.
00:14:00.14\00:14:02.10
When I say I pray during
intimacy with my husband,
00:14:02.14\00:14:07.74
it is in my mind,
it's not out loud,
00:14:07.78\00:14:11.88
yes Lord, yes Jesus,
00:14:11.91\00:14:13.52
I need you to tell me out loud,
00:14:13.55\00:14:15.52
like no, no,
no, I don't do that.
00:14:15.55\00:14:17.85
But there's a...
00:14:17.89\00:14:19.25
But there's a, "Oh,"
like, "Lord, you're here.
00:14:19.29\00:14:21.29
You're watching."
Or, "Okay, Lord..."
00:14:21.32\00:14:23.46
You know, just different things.
00:14:23.49\00:14:25.39
So when you're
that that it makes...
00:14:25.43\00:14:29.40
I'm just trying to say it makes,
00:14:29.43\00:14:31.07
it makes sense to pray.
00:14:31.10\00:14:33.34
And I believe that I'm
just repeating the reality
00:14:33.37\00:14:36.04
that it just as I...
00:14:36.07\00:14:39.14
When I'm trying
to help somebody,
00:14:39.17\00:14:40.88
I'm asking for
the spirit of the Lord
00:14:40.91\00:14:43.21
to give me wisdom from on
high as I'm serving my husband,
00:14:43.24\00:14:47.18
I'm also in the marriage bedroom
00:14:47.22\00:14:49.75
and as my husband is
serving me, he prays too.
00:14:49.78\00:14:52.89
We are both in tune with
God's presence in the act
00:14:52.92\00:14:59.59
and it works for us.
00:14:59.63\00:15:01.70
Yes.
00:15:01.73\00:15:03.06
And I want to add a
little more to that.
00:15:03.10\00:15:05.90
Keith was talking
a little bit earlier
00:15:05.93\00:15:07.74
about the importance of
prayer as we're discussing
00:15:07.77\00:15:11.81
and it reminded me of
the first year of my marriage
00:15:11.84\00:15:16.24
with my husband.
00:15:16.28\00:15:18.01
The couple had told us,
00:15:18.05\00:15:19.55
"You don't have to do
long extended prayers,
00:15:19.58\00:15:22.22
just simply say,
Holy Spirit be with us
00:15:22.25\00:15:25.69
as we're about to do this."
00:15:25.72\00:15:27.92
And they said the benefit
of it was because it helps you
00:15:27.96\00:15:33.09
to focus on that
moment and fully being there.
00:15:33.13\00:15:38.83
I'm a recovering
pornographic addict
00:15:38.87\00:15:41.84
and I've been
celibate for many years now.
00:15:41.87\00:15:45.41
But when I got
married, one of the problems
00:15:45.44\00:15:50.45
and I've spoken to
other female addicts,
00:15:50.48\00:15:53.01
one of the problems is images
kind of come back to your mind.
00:15:53.05\00:15:56.72
And when I'm with my spouse,
00:15:56.75\00:15:59.32
I don't want to think
about anything else but him.
00:15:59.35\00:16:01.46
I don't want anything
else coming through my mind.
00:16:01.49\00:16:03.83
It ruins our connection.
It makes me not be fully fair.
00:16:03.86\00:16:08.66
It's not fair to him.
00:16:08.70\00:16:10.10
I feel guilty, remorseful
all these different things.
00:16:10.13\00:16:13.64
So during that time
00:16:13.67\00:16:15.00
which is the most
intimate moment with my spouse
00:16:15.04\00:16:20.18
where we truly know
each other and become one,
00:16:20.21\00:16:24.45
I say a prayer
and say, "Dear Lord,
00:16:24.48\00:16:28.15
I can't do a 20 minute
prayer with you right now.
00:16:28.18\00:16:31.85
But you know my history,
you know how far I've come.
00:16:31.89\00:16:35.26
In this moment,
00:16:35.29\00:16:36.62
don't let this
moment be robbed by my past,
00:16:36.66\00:16:39.89
allow me to be fully here
so I can be with my husband..."
00:16:39.93\00:16:44.20
Because sexuality
00:16:44.23\00:16:45.57
and that kind of
falls into the other part,
00:16:45.60\00:16:46.94
the importance and the essence
of praying, it's not just sex.
00:16:46.97\00:16:50.41
We're not just doing an act.
00:16:50.44\00:16:52.17
There are so many
things that's happening...
00:16:52.21\00:16:54.74
And for me, this
is just me personally.
00:16:54.78\00:16:58.38
I knew that having sex,
00:16:58.41\00:17:00.05
I could be able
to produce children.
00:17:00.08\00:17:01.78
It was just a
fact that I accepted
00:17:01.82\00:17:03.69
before I got married.
00:17:03.72\00:17:05.39
And I didn't want the moment
my daughter was conceived,
00:17:05.42\00:17:10.23
if I had a son,
I have a daughter,
00:17:10.26\00:17:11.93
for my daughter to be
conceived during a moment
00:17:11.96\00:17:14.76
where my mind
was somewhere else.
00:17:14.80\00:17:17.00
I wanted to know that I
was fully fair with my husband
00:17:17.03\00:17:22.27
that we were fully connected
that she was created in love,
00:17:22.30\00:17:27.28
in complete love with
God's blessing there seem.
00:17:27.31\00:17:30.68
"Yes, now is the time
for you to be pregnant
00:17:30.71\00:17:33.78
and to produce this child."
00:17:33.82\00:17:35.25
I didn't want some crazy people
that I saw 10, 15 years ago
00:17:35.28\00:17:40.49
to be in that moment.
00:17:40.52\00:17:42.12
I only wanted God and my
spouse in that moment with me.
00:17:42.16\00:17:46.23
And that's why I pray,
00:17:46.26\00:17:48.16
that's why I continue to pray...
00:17:48.20\00:17:50.23
After that first year,
00:17:50.27\00:17:51.60
I haven't really
had that many thoughts
00:17:51.63\00:17:53.00
but the devil can
be tricky sometimes.
00:17:53.03\00:17:55.64
But that's how I feel even
now. My baby is nine months.
00:17:55.67\00:17:59.61
You know, I know with
sex you can get pregnant
00:17:59.64\00:18:02.51
and that's what I pray,
"Lord, I'm angry at him.
00:18:02.54\00:18:06.61
Help me to be in the
mentality that I need to be in
00:18:06.65\00:18:09.18
because I want
us to be connected."
00:18:09.22\00:18:11.42
"Because I understand
other things can happen too."
00:18:11.45\00:18:14.26
"I want that
union, I want that bond."
00:18:14.29\00:18:17.09
Is there any other
reasons why it's important
00:18:17.13\00:18:19.56
or essential for us
to pray during intimacy?
00:18:19.59\00:18:21.73
I would just...
00:18:21.76\00:18:24.30
I appreciate your transparency.
00:18:24.33\00:18:29.34
I appreciate your transparency
00:18:29.37\00:18:30.94
for any of the
viewers out there to know
00:18:30.97\00:18:34.34
that if you have
fallen into any sexual thing
00:18:34.38\00:18:38.91
that you can still
pray and come before God
00:18:38.95\00:18:43.05
when you are having
intimacy with your spouse
00:18:43.08\00:18:46.62
that that is possible.
00:18:46.65\00:18:48.69
I, you know, I too
before marrying my husband,
00:18:48.72\00:18:52.63
years before
marrying my husband,
00:18:52.66\00:18:54.43
I did have
intercourse with another man.
00:18:54.46\00:18:57.00
And for me when it took place
most of the time I would cry
00:18:57.03\00:19:03.10
before it was over
00:19:03.14\00:19:04.81
because of the evil presence
that I felt that was there.
00:19:04.84\00:19:09.91
Other times I would cry
00:19:09.94\00:19:11.41
because I would hear
the voice of the Lord
00:19:11.45\00:19:13.62
as I'm fighting in
my own mind in the act
00:19:13.65\00:19:16.58
with this person I'm
not supposed to be with.
00:19:16.62\00:19:18.69
I would hear God saying to me,
00:19:18.72\00:19:21.02
I love you and
it would mess me up
00:19:21.06\00:19:24.89
like it would all
the way messed me up
00:19:24.93\00:19:28.16
because I'm like,
"You see this evil
00:19:28.20\00:19:31.67
that I'm doing before you."
00:19:31.70\00:19:33.07
I'm having a conversation
asking you to leave me alone
00:19:33.10\00:19:36.71
so that I can do
what I want to do.
00:19:36.74\00:19:39.11
And what's your response
to me is that you love me
00:19:39.14\00:19:43.14
that's crazy like, that's crazy,
00:19:43.18\00:19:46.31
and for me I know this is God
because this is not something
00:19:46.35\00:19:51.09
that I've
necessarily experienced
00:19:51.12\00:19:52.95
in another human
being to be loved this way.
00:19:52.99\00:19:56.86
And so when...
00:19:56.89\00:19:58.49
So now that I'm in a
marriage that God approves of
00:19:58.53\00:20:03.03
and as I've shared,
00:20:03.06\00:20:07.30
as I've shared
with you before there...
00:20:07.34\00:20:11.57
My husband has also
was celibate 10 years
00:20:11.61\00:20:14.68
before we got married.
00:20:14.71\00:20:16.04
And so the reality of
accepting God is something
00:20:16.08\00:20:20.55
that we're accepting God
in that moment is something
00:20:20.58\00:20:23.08
that we're excited to do
00:20:23.12\00:20:25.25
because we no longer
00:20:25.29\00:20:27.06
are participating
in this shamefully
00:20:27.09\00:20:30.69
but in rejoice that
all of heaven is rejoicing
00:20:30.73\00:20:34.70
as we are exhibiting the unity
00:20:34.73\00:20:37.43
that Christ
wants to have with us.
00:20:37.47\00:20:39.67
I think it's a beautiful thing.
00:20:39.70\00:20:42.44
And I appreciate
both of the testimonies.
00:20:42.47\00:20:45.51
And it just brings back
or makes more plain the text
00:20:45.54\00:20:50.01
that says pray without ceasing.
00:20:50.05\00:20:51.81
Because you can think that
I'm entering into this thing
00:20:51.85\00:20:53.31
and this is something
00:20:53.35\00:20:54.68
that God shouldn't
be a part of, right?
00:20:54.72\00:20:56.18
But we need God to be
there every single minute
00:20:56.22\00:20:59.02
of every single day.
00:20:59.05\00:21:01.19
And so just trusting in Him
00:21:01.22\00:21:03.73
and asking Him to
guide us, to direct us.
00:21:03.76\00:21:06.09
As you asked, what
are some other areas
00:21:06.13\00:21:08.13
or some other
reasons why we should pray.
00:21:08.16\00:21:10.37
Let's say a partner
is having some discomfort
00:21:10.40\00:21:13.94
or something of
that nature, right?
00:21:13.97\00:21:15.30
And so, God, I need You to
help us to know what to do.
00:21:15.34\00:21:18.81
Maybe we should
abstain for a moment
00:21:18.84\00:21:20.48
while this thing is
getting checked out.
00:21:20.51\00:21:21.88
And so now especially as a male
00:21:21.91\00:21:25.01
and I'm not comparing sex
drives or anything like that,
00:21:25.05\00:21:27.52
I'm just saying if the woman,
00:21:27.55\00:21:29.22
if the wife is going
and getting checked out
00:21:29.25\00:21:32.35
and things like
that or the doctor says,
00:21:32.39\00:21:33.72
"Listen for a period of
time you all need to..."
00:21:33.76\00:21:35.46
I need now to...
00:21:35.49\00:21:37.06
Lord, for you to give me
the strength to support my wife
00:21:37.09\00:21:41.26
as we're going
through this thing,
00:21:41.30\00:21:42.63
to let her know I still
love her unconditionally.
00:21:42.66\00:21:45.17
And then when we come
back together to make sure
00:21:45.20\00:21:48.00
that we implement the steps
that don't cause us to regress
00:21:48.04\00:21:51.27
but we continue to move forward.
00:21:51.31\00:21:53.41
So it's always just asking
God to guide that whole process.
00:21:53.44\00:21:57.21
And we want Him to be there.
00:21:57.25\00:21:58.58
We need Him to be there
00:21:58.61\00:21:59.95
in order for it to
be pleasing to Him.
00:21:59.98\00:22:01.32
Yeah, I agree. Yeah.
00:22:01.35\00:22:03.85
And I think another factor,
00:22:03.89\00:22:05.55
another beauty
element of praying is
00:22:05.59\00:22:08.29
it recognizes that
your spouse is a gift.
00:22:08.32\00:22:11.69
That when you're
engaging in intercourse,
00:22:11.73\00:22:13.80
you're not just in...
00:22:13.83\00:22:15.16
You're not just
doing this with anybody.
00:22:15.20\00:22:16.63
When you're saying this
prayer, you're recognizing
00:22:16.67\00:22:18.70
that your spouse is important
like you always say things
00:22:18.73\00:22:21.77
like what if they're in pain,
00:22:21.80\00:22:23.14
what if they're having problems.
00:22:23.17\00:22:24.51
They're saying,
"Lord, help me with this gift
00:22:24.54\00:22:27.91
that you have given to me."
00:22:27.94\00:22:29.58
"I love this person, I
care about this person,
00:22:29.61\00:22:31.81
I want the best for them.
00:22:31.85\00:22:33.78
So help me to be what you
want me to be for this person
00:22:33.82\00:22:36.85
because what if this
person had maybe abuse history."
00:22:36.89\00:22:41.49
"We're about to
enter this moment.
00:22:41.52\00:22:42.99
It could make a
trigger for them."
00:22:43.02\00:22:44.49
It could bother them
emotionally, physically,
00:22:44.53\00:22:47.03
it could, you
know, mess them up.
00:22:47.06\00:22:49.03
So dear Lord, help
them in this moment
00:22:49.06\00:22:51.40
to not think about
what happened to them
00:22:51.43\00:22:52.97
when they were 10,
00:22:53.00\00:22:54.34
to be able to
interact with me right now
00:22:54.37\00:22:56.00
and to feel
loved by me and to know
00:22:56.04\00:22:58.31
that I am there for
them in the deepest way
00:22:58.34\00:23:03.81
that the other
person stole from them,
00:23:03.85\00:23:06.85
that I am here to give
what was taken in a way
00:23:06.88\00:23:10.69
that is bringing
restoration and healing
00:23:10.72\00:23:13.56
because that is
extremely important.
00:23:13.59\00:23:17.89
Your spouse is a gift,
your spouse is feeling hurt,
00:23:17.93\00:23:21.13
emotional pain to know
that even though they are
00:23:21.16\00:23:25.80
as I might say crazy,
00:23:25.83\00:23:27.54
some may think like
our spouses are crazy,
00:23:27.57\00:23:29.64
they do some ridiculous stuff.
00:23:29.67\00:23:33.11
But despite that
ridiculous stuff,
00:23:33.14\00:23:34.54
I still want you,
00:23:34.58\00:23:35.91
and I'm going to pray
to God for your benefit.
00:23:35.94\00:23:38.21
I'm not going to be selfish.
I want you to be blessed too.
00:23:38.25\00:23:41.72
Right. There is a stewardship.
00:23:41.75\00:23:44.95
There's definitely a stewardship
00:23:44.99\00:23:46.55
that takes place when
you enter into a marriage.
00:23:46.59\00:23:50.19
You are caring for a daughter
00:23:50.23\00:23:53.56
and, you know, for the men
you're caring for your wife,
00:23:53.60\00:23:56.46
you're caring for
a daughter of God.
00:23:56.50\00:23:59.00
For my husband, I'm
caring for a son of God.
00:23:59.03\00:24:03.74
And so there is a...
00:24:03.77\00:24:05.14
There's a video
that was circulating
00:24:05.17\00:24:07.01
while I was at
Oakwood in my undergrad,
00:24:07.04\00:24:08.98
a Phillip link I
think put it together.
00:24:09.01\00:24:12.01
I don't remember who the guy is.
00:24:12.05\00:24:13.38
I was actually
speaking and gave his testimony.
00:24:13.42\00:24:16.62
But in his
testimony he was saying
00:24:16.65\00:24:18.59
how he was praying for his wife.
00:24:18.62\00:24:20.12
And there is
this particular woman
00:24:20.16\00:24:22.19
that he wanted to marry.
00:24:22.22\00:24:23.93
And so he was praying to God
00:24:23.96\00:24:26.06
and he was saying that,
"God I want her, I want her.
00:24:26.09\00:24:28.33
Please give her to me."
00:24:28.36\00:24:29.70
And he said that he
believed that God said to him,
00:24:29.73\00:24:32.57
"You will never have her
because she belongs to me."
00:24:32.60\00:24:35.50
And so there is
this understanding
00:24:35.54\00:24:37.71
that he had that
God wasn't saying
00:24:37.74\00:24:39.21
you will never be in
a relationship with her.
00:24:39.24\00:24:41.28
God was saying
that she is my daughter.
00:24:41.31\00:24:44.28
And so if I allow you to
enter into a covenant with her,
00:24:44.31\00:24:48.42
understand that I am
also involved in this
00:24:48.45\00:24:51.55
and that you
have to report to me.
00:24:51.59\00:24:54.26
And so it's another,
00:24:54.29\00:24:56.49
another connective piece in that
00:24:56.52\00:24:58.23
is that you take
the story of Moses.
00:24:58.26\00:25:01.86
Moses was a shepherd
of another man's flock,
00:25:01.90\00:25:05.07
Jethro, his father-in-law.
00:25:05.10\00:25:07.07
He was a shepherd
of another man's flock
00:25:07.10\00:25:09.60
and because he was
a faithful shepherd
00:25:09.64\00:25:12.14
of another man's flock,
God then gave him His flock.
00:25:12.17\00:25:16.31
God gave him Israel to take
care of through the wilderness.
00:25:16.34\00:25:20.98
And so understanding
this gospel message
00:25:21.02\00:25:23.39
that is so prevalent
within a marriage relationship,
00:25:23.42\00:25:26.86
and is so prevalent
within the act of sex
00:25:26.89\00:25:29.89
that when you are engaging,
00:25:29.92\00:25:31.99
this is not just
for your own enjoyment
00:25:32.03\00:25:34.70
but that you are
caring for this other person,
00:25:34.73\00:25:38.07
you are a shepherd
of another man's child.
00:25:38.10\00:25:42.47
And so you are
why not and it's...
00:25:42.50\00:25:45.11
But this, but
this other man God,
00:25:45.14\00:25:50.78
God is not as
limited as human beings are.
00:25:50.81\00:25:55.75
And so it's not as perverted
00:25:55.78\00:25:58.19
as it may be if
the actual father,
00:25:58.22\00:26:02.42
the biological father
was in the room, right?
00:26:02.46\00:26:05.06
But there is this God
that understands sexuality
00:26:05.09\00:26:08.13
far better than I do.
00:26:08.16\00:26:09.63
And so why not invite Him.
00:26:09.66\00:26:11.43
Yes. Yes.
00:26:11.47\00:26:12.80
Definitely,
definitely, definitely.
00:26:12.83\00:26:16.81
Going back to that
question of, can you overdo it?
00:26:16.84\00:26:22.24
Is there a way that we can all
fully bring religious prayers
00:26:22.28\00:26:27.88
into our sexuality?
00:26:27.92\00:26:31.25
Is there a line that
should not be crossed?
00:26:31.29\00:26:34.32
And I think one
thing that we need to go to
00:26:34.36\00:26:38.23
when we're asking this question
00:26:38.26\00:26:39.59
is what is my
relationship with God?
00:26:39.63\00:26:41.86
How do I connect with Him?
00:26:41.90\00:26:44.77
And I believe
God will let you know
00:26:44.80\00:26:47.20
if you're
pushing the boundaries.
00:26:47.24\00:26:49.17
If you're saying stuff
that you're not supposed to say.
00:26:49.20\00:26:52.11
If you're praying
something towards your spouse
00:26:52.14\00:26:54.84
in a negative way,
God will rebuke you
00:26:54.88\00:26:56.64
and say, "You need to
stop doing what you're doing."
00:26:56.68\00:27:00.22
"This is not respecting
me and praying to me."
00:27:00.25\00:27:03.15
So we're about to
finish the discussion
00:27:03.18\00:27:05.55
but we want you to keep
on having the discussion.
00:27:05.59\00:27:09.42
How about you?
00:27:09.46\00:27:11.29
Do you believe in
prayer in your intimacy?
00:27:11.33\00:27:14.10
And how can you incorporate it?
00:27:14.13\00:27:16.03
How can you use it to
enhance your relationship
00:27:16.06\00:27:19.40
with your spouse?
00:27:19.43\00:27:22.40
My husband and I, we
need Jesus to guide us
00:27:22.44\00:27:26.04
and to lead us in
every facet of our lives
00:27:26.07\00:27:30.11
especially in our
sexual relationship.
00:27:30.15\00:27:33.15
The Bible says in Luke 6:39,
"Can the blind lead the blind?
00:27:33.18\00:27:39.49
Will they not
both fall into a pit?"
00:27:39.52\00:27:42.12
So yes, we need to be
praying to God to help us
00:27:42.16\00:27:45.79
in this particular area.
00:27:45.83\00:27:47.70
And another thing
if God is with us,
00:27:47.73\00:27:49.90
who can be against us.
00:27:49.93\00:27:51.37
Thank you for joining us today,
00:27:51.40\00:27:53.00
and please remember
to make pure choices.
00:27:53.03\00:27:55.60
Yes.
00:27:55.64\00:27:57.07