The following program
discusses sensitive issues.
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Parents are
cautioned that some material
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may be too candid
for younger children.
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Welcome to Pure Choices,
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I'm Wayne Blakely
from Coming Out Ministers.
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You know, there
was a time in my life
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when I was bold
enough to come out and say
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that I was gay.
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I started telling every one.
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I didn't stopped to
think so much about the impact
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it would have on
those that I was telling
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because I was more
interested in myself than I was,
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those who might hear this.
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And most
importantly, my parents.
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We don't know we stop
to think about the effect
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that this has on the parents,
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and it's a bit
shocking sometimes,
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and its bit stunning.
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And so, I think
it is very important
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that we finally talk to parents
about how this effects them,
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about how they have a great love
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for there children,
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a great love in
Christian families
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defiantly for God.
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And how do you
continue in that relationship,
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with your relationship
between Jesus Christ and also,
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the love that you want to sure
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that transcending
to your child as well.
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So let me
introduce the panel today,
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starting with Sharri
Scott, Andrea Deckert,
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May Lou Erwin,
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and our father
here Elijah Rainney.
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I want to thank
every one of you so much
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for coming to
share from your hearts.
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I know that this
isn't the easiest thing
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to able to do,
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and how even your
children might view this.
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But I think that in
my conversations with you
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that there will be no
questions about the fact
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that you love them deeply.
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So let's just
start here with Sharri.
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And in another program
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we've talked a
little more extensively
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about the fact that we
have a form available today
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called Sheltering Trees to
help bring parents together
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and recognize
that there is support.
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As a parent, tell
me again a little bit
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about how this effected you
and just share from your heart?
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Well, it was
about four years ago
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when our daughters,
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each of them
about six months apart
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told us about there...
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there choice, there lifestyle
that they were getting into.
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And in each case
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the girls came and
told me personally about it
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and then I have to go
home and tell my husband.
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And the two of us were...
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we didn't see it
coming, we were very...
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very surprised, very shocked,
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we went through the whole blame,
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and depression,
and hurt, and pain.
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Also, not only personally
but just thinking about
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what our girls had experienced
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and that they had
been suffering with this
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and never been able to
tell us or talk to us about it.
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It was a really hard time.
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Right. Thank you.
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Andrea, you have a daughter
who identified as gay to you.
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What was that like and
what was your relationship,
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or how did you engage
in, with God about this?
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That was
devastating, to say the least.
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I had raised my
child for the Lord,
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and it was hurtful
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that she choose to
walk a different direction.
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And for a while I tried to...
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convince her she was wrong
and she didn't want to do that.
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Right.
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But her feeling,
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I am sure that you
considered her feelings.
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Did you feel that
she was considering
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your feelings in the process?
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Oh, no.
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No.
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Not really, I
didn't feel like she was...
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So a little bit of
a rocky time in that.
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What was it...
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the transition, because I
know you love your daughter
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greatly today.
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In the
information that you received,
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how long did it take
before you came to an agreement
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about how you would walk
forward with this information?
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Between her and I, you mean?
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Yeah.
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There wasn't too much
agreement for quite a while.
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There wasn't a lot of
talk for quite a while.
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I didn't know how to handle
it, and she didn't know either.
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And so are talk would be
very superficial for a while,
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and I...
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it took me a long
time to figure out
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how to deal
with this information
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and how I was going
to handle it in my life.
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So your pretty stunned.
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Oh, yes. Oh,
taken way off guard.
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Mary Lou, you,
this situation for you
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where your son came to
you and just broadcast.
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What was your situation?
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My situation was he was home
from college on Christmas break
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and he was in his room,
and we just happened to be,
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as we do periodically,
check the computer to see
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where the kids have been,
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and he had been
on gaychristian.net.
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And so, I showed that to Robert
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and he was kind
looked at each other
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and that we knew
which child it was.
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And so I just...
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Robert is your
husband? My husband, yes.
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So he said, what
are we going to do?
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And I said, well,
we're going to ask him.
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So I just walked
into Kenny's room
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and asked him, "Are you gay?"
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And that took him off guard.
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He was more off
guard than I was, I think.
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But you know, you were talking
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about their children responding,
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Kenneth was in
tears because you know,
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one of his things was, I know,
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mom, I'll never be able
to give you grandchildren.
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So, it was a
really emotional time.
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I found myself
reading everything
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I possible could read,
because I am fixed-it mom
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and I was gonna a fix this.
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And I reached out to everybody.
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I mean, big name pastors.
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I was bring in the troops.
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You want to fix that, right?
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What did you say to God?
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Well, my conversation with God,
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I am sure initially was
mostly, I was sorry, you know.
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I must have messed up
somewhere, lot of guilt,
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and sadness as I mention that.
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He...
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we didn't have a relationship
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that he could
come and tell me that,
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thinking about all the years
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he had been
carrying this burden.
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I'm fearful for him that
was going to happen to him
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when people knew.
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But it came to the
point and this was, I mean,
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it's been probably
eight or nine years now.
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But that I just,
I gave it to God.
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I said, you know, I
can't fix this, you know.
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It's all on You. Okay.
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Well, I mean, I'll
come back to you guys
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for some additional
questions that I have.
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But, Elijah, you have a daughter
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who identified,
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did she
identified as gay to you?
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How did that happen?
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We got a phone call,
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she had finished
academy in North Carolina
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and she went to
Florida to work there.
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And her mother and I
got a phone call one day
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about she wanted to
introduce us to someone
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on the phone that
she was in love with.
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And you know we were
expecting a male voice
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on the other end,
and she introduces us
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and there is a female
voice coming over the phone.
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And at that movement,
you know, what do you say,
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what do you do?
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And...
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So little confrontational.
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Well, it was
nice of her to call,
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but we found that, as
parents, we were at a mess
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because I didn't know
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whether or not to
greet the young lady,
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well, how to talk to her.
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And you know,
God really helps you
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in that situations like that,
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because He finally
help us to realize that
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in this situation we
not only had to be concerned
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about our daughter
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but then we had
another person's daughter
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that we had to be
concerned about too.
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Because the young
lady that she was with
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is somebody else's child
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and that was
really what helped us
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in that situations
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is that how do we reach out
to both of these young ladies,
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because the
parental thing is to try
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to defend your daughter
from this horrible person.
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And God really
helped in that situation.
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It was just His grace.
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Yeah, God is
really good isn't it?
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Yes, He is.
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And so, I know
that God has carried
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each one of you through this.
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I know from my own
identifying as gay,
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that I struggled with
God at that particular point
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that I made that decision.
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I didn't see the
church talking about this,
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my parents
weren't talking about it,
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my teachers were
not talking about it.
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In fact, there were
participating in the teasing
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and the harassment that
I was getting at school.
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And so, I felt
justified finally,
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when another gay
friends said to me, you know,
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the church is just
only propagating this
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and making it worst.
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And so, I said, well, fine,
you know, I am out of here.
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I know that that
devastated my parents
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and I think that they hid
it fairly well for a while.
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But one thing my
dad said to me was that
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I don't know why this happened
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or why you have the
feelings that you do.
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We don't have those answers,
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but I do know one
thing and he said,
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"That is, is that I love
you, your mother loves you
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and we know that Jesus loves you
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and we know that He
will never stop loving you,
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and that you are
always welcome here."
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And that made a
lot over the years.
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I am sad for I have
some of my behavior was
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because I flaunted it a
bit in front of my parents
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to say, hey, you know,
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you cant do anything about this.
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So, Andrea, I want
to come back to you
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because of the frustration
that was there initially,
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and I've see that
in the lives of parents
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and there children before,
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so much so that some
have kicked there kids
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out of there home,
they are not welcome back.
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But I know today
and I see the closeness
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that you have with
your daughter today.
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I wanted to know
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how did that develop
after this rough time?
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I called a really
good friend of mine.
00:11:11.33\00:11:14.60
And it was, this
kind of touching.
00:11:14.64\00:11:17.34
Yeah, yeah, I understand.
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She said to me, "You
keep Jesus number one.
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No matter what,
don't let anyone come
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between you and Jesus."
00:11:27.85\00:11:30.42
And boy, that's
what I needed to hear
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because everything was going
through my mind at that time,
00:11:32.75\00:11:36.12
did I want to kick
her out, did I want to...
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what do I do?
00:11:38.76\00:11:40.40
And when realized that
Jesus had to be number one,
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and I wanted Him
to be number one,
00:11:43.70\00:11:47.20
I realize Jesus
would not kick her out.
00:11:47.24\00:11:49.54
That's right.
00:11:49.57\00:11:50.91
Jesus, because when I
was in my sense in my life
00:11:50.94\00:11:54.51
Jesus didn't kick me out.
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He stayed by my side
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and He said, I
am waiting for you,
00:11:57.55\00:11:58.88
I am waiting for you,
you're welcome, you know,
00:11:58.91\00:12:01.18
you're welcome, just come back.
00:12:01.22\00:12:03.12
And so I thought I
have to treat my daughter
00:12:03.15\00:12:06.19
the way Jesus
treated me with love.
00:12:06.22\00:12:08.96
I reminded of Romans 5:8,
00:12:08.99\00:12:12.23
its refreshed in
my mind daily today
00:12:12.26\00:12:15.96
that it says
that Jesus died for us
00:12:16.00\00:12:18.33
while we were still sinners.
00:12:18.37\00:12:20.10
And so, He knew all
of the horrible things
00:12:20.14\00:12:22.40
that we would do, sometime we...
00:12:22.44\00:12:24.57
some have even cruised
him, some have gone down past,
00:12:24.61\00:12:28.61
they need not go
down, that was me.
00:12:28.64\00:12:32.21
And the whole time
00:12:32.25\00:12:33.65
He saw the
potential for my heart
00:12:33.68\00:12:36.75
and just kept
saying, "I have you,
00:12:36.79\00:12:40.96
I know that
you'll retuned to me."
00:12:40.99\00:12:42.89
And so you must have had
something like that going on?
00:12:42.92\00:12:45.96
Yes, and I want
to say something else
00:12:45.99\00:12:47.90
that's I am not proved to say
00:12:47.93\00:12:49.90
but I know other parents
have struggled with this too.
00:12:49.93\00:12:52.60
I even thought
of taking my life.
00:12:52.63\00:12:54.70
I was that hurt.
00:12:54.74\00:12:58.11
And I've heard other
parents express that.
00:12:58.14\00:13:01.98
And I am so
glad I didn't do that
00:13:02.01\00:13:04.18
because my daughter is a
beautiful, beautiful being
00:13:04.21\00:13:08.68
and God loves her
so much, and so do I.
00:13:08.72\00:13:13.02
Yeah.
00:13:13.05\00:13:14.49
So, you, each of
you made a decision,
00:13:14.52\00:13:19.39
because society today says
00:13:19.43\00:13:21.06
you really don't love
your child unless you,
00:13:21.10\00:13:23.53
you know, endorse or
approve of there behavior.
00:13:23.57\00:13:26.53
And I've seen a
bit of a transition
00:13:26.57\00:13:28.67
in our own denomination
where many people have said,
00:13:28.70\00:13:32.57
oh, it really doesn't matter
00:13:32.61\00:13:34.28
who you love as
long as you love someone.
00:13:34.31\00:13:36.34
In fact, if
there was gay monogamy,
00:13:36.38\00:13:38.78
that's all that
would matter to God.
00:13:38.81\00:13:40.42
But when I go to the word
00:13:40.45\00:13:42.18
I don't find Gods
direction on that.
00:13:42.22\00:13:45.29
And yet, we pretend
or some people pretend
00:13:45.32\00:13:49.12
as though the word
is worded differently
00:13:49.16\00:13:51.86
or we can
interpret it differently.
00:13:51.89\00:13:53.83
You've chosen to
take the literal meaning
00:13:53.86\00:13:57.10
of God's word.
00:13:57.13\00:13:59.13
How have you hung
on, Mary Lou, to Jesus
00:13:59.17\00:14:03.30
and the truth
that He's provided you,
00:14:03.34\00:14:05.67
and still love your son?
00:14:05.71\00:14:07.11
Well, God just comes
first, you know, it's...
00:14:08.18\00:14:13.88
it's hard as a
mom, you know, to...
00:14:13.92\00:14:17.09
You have this
child that, you know,
00:14:21.32\00:14:23.93
they have no idea
how much love you have
00:14:23.96\00:14:27.63
and what you would do for them.
00:14:27.66\00:14:29.00
I mean, I have told the Lord,
00:14:29.03\00:14:31.37
"You can have my
place in heaven..."
00:14:31.40\00:14:32.93
Me too, me too.
00:14:32.97\00:14:34.80
But, you know,
00:14:34.84\00:14:37.87
we're all on our
own in that respect.
00:14:37.91\00:14:40.01
And so I just hang on to
the promises, and the hope,
00:14:40.04\00:14:44.88
and the testimonies
I have heard of others,
00:14:44.91\00:14:48.28
and know that my son
was brought up in the word.
00:14:48.32\00:14:53.42
And you know, He says
that children will go back
00:14:53.46\00:14:56.62
to the way they were taught.
00:14:56.66\00:14:58.23
And I claim these promises
so that's what keeps me going.
00:14:58.26\00:15:03.60
Yeah.
00:15:03.63\00:15:04.97
You know as Jesus
laid down His life for us,
00:15:05.00\00:15:09.14
the kind of love that
God had for us was so deep
00:15:09.30\00:15:12.94
that even you know,
while He knew our future
00:15:12.97\00:15:15.88
He still gave
up his life for us.
00:15:15.91\00:15:17.71
Elijah, I
haven't heard it from you
00:15:17.81\00:15:20.95
but I have a sense that
you would put your life down
00:15:20.98\00:15:23.32
for your daughter, right?
00:15:23.35\00:15:25.22
But not only that,
and as I look back on it,
00:15:25.25\00:15:27.89
really the Holy
Sprit worked through me
00:15:28.56\00:15:31.16
because when the
young lady came on the phone
00:15:31.19\00:15:34.36
to introduce herself,
00:15:34.40\00:15:36.90
I didn't know how to handle it.
00:15:36.93\00:15:38.47
And He put the
thought in my mind that...
00:15:38.50\00:15:43.17
tell her that you're
going to deal with her
00:15:44.97\00:15:47.78
as she was my own daughter.
00:15:47.81\00:15:51.01
And I look back and
that's a strange concept
00:15:51.05\00:15:53.75
thinking back on it.
00:15:53.78\00:15:55.22
Because I didn't
know how to address
00:15:55.25\00:15:57.15
the other young
lady and God said,
00:15:57.19\00:15:59.55
and next thing I am saying,
00:15:59.59\00:16:01.59
"Young lady, I am
going to talk to you
00:16:01.62\00:16:03.43
as if I am your dad."
00:16:03.46\00:16:05.73
And that, it
wasn't me who did that.
00:16:05.76\00:16:09.86
And so I had to tell
her how much I was...
00:16:09.90\00:16:16.10
I am trying to convey to her
00:16:16.14\00:16:17.74
not only I was
concerned about my daughter
00:16:17.77\00:16:21.01
but I had to really be
concerned about her too.
00:16:21.04\00:16:24.61
And then after Him
helping me to do that
00:16:24.65\00:16:30.55
then I was able to
talk to both of them.
00:16:30.59\00:16:32.69
And I was able to share
with of them my concern,
00:16:32.72\00:16:36.22
and you know,
that I care about them,
00:16:36.26\00:16:41.53
I care about her, I
care about my daughter.
00:16:41.56\00:16:44.43
And that gave me an
opportunity to talk to them,
00:16:44.47\00:16:49.30
to be honest with them
that I did not agree with there
00:16:49.34\00:16:54.74
concept of loving one and other.
00:16:54.78\00:16:56.24
But as a parent I
love you and I love,
00:16:56.28\00:16:59.68
and care about both of you.
00:16:59.71\00:17:01.45
And that was the thing
00:17:01.48\00:17:04.89
that I appreciate God
00:17:04.92\00:17:07.56
using me to show the young lady,
00:17:07.59\00:17:09.52
love, and to
show my daughter love,
00:17:09.56\00:17:12.23
because it's so easy
for parents to take sides.
00:17:12.26\00:17:17.23
You know, you want to take side
00:17:17.27\00:17:18.60
with your child and
get rid of the villain,
00:17:18.63\00:17:22.47
which the other person
is, that not how God's works.
00:17:22.50\00:17:25.14
Right. Right.
00:17:25.17\00:17:27.28
I'm sorry, I want to
switch to you here for a moment.
00:17:27.31\00:17:30.71
I want to have great
respect for your daughters
00:17:30.75\00:17:35.88
should they ever
view this program.
00:17:35.92\00:17:39.72
But you were presented,
and have been presented
00:17:39.75\00:17:43.32
with a little bit of
an usually circumstances
00:17:43.36\00:17:47.10
in the sense that
00:17:47.13\00:17:48.46
while you have
demonstrated great love
00:17:48.50\00:17:51.07
and again, I
think about Jesus...
00:17:51.10\00:17:53.03
That your children have
kind of rejected that off.
00:17:57.97\00:18:03.01
They have...
00:18:03.04\00:18:05.08
to all appearances, you
know, to look at the fact
00:18:05.11\00:18:08.22
that they don't want to
have anything to do with me
00:18:08.25\00:18:11.75
and very little
to with my husband.
00:18:11.79\00:18:14.22
But I never think to
myself that they don't love me.
00:18:14.26\00:18:18.83
I think that
they are rejecting God
00:18:18.86\00:18:21.10
more than they're rejecting me
00:18:21.13\00:18:22.53
and may be I somehow
represent some of that
00:18:22.56\00:18:26.13
or what ever to them.
00:18:26.17\00:18:28.80
I do believe that they love me
00:18:28.84\00:18:31.77
and I do every thing
I can in the limited...
00:18:31.81\00:18:37.95
ways that they've
given me to contact them
00:18:37.98\00:18:40.28
and express love to
them but it's difficult.
00:18:40.32\00:18:44.22
But you thing of Jesus
00:18:44.25\00:18:45.59
and how much He
loves His children
00:18:45.62\00:18:47.86
all over the
world who ignore Him
00:18:47.89\00:18:49.29
and pay no attention to Him,
and He goes right on loving.
00:18:49.32\00:18:52.36
And He has to
do that through us,
00:18:52.39\00:18:55.06
you know, for our kids.
00:18:55.10\00:18:56.77
Absolutely.
00:18:56.80\00:18:58.13
Elijah, briefly, I
just would like to...
00:18:58.17\00:19:00.64
I know a lot of
people are faced with this
00:19:00.67\00:19:02.64
and particularly
parents get faced with this.
00:19:02.67\00:19:04.97
Your daughter, at
one point, said to you,
00:19:05.01\00:19:07.58
"I am getting married
00:19:07.61\00:19:08.94
and I am inviting
you to our wedding."
00:19:08.98\00:19:11.78
What is your response?
00:19:11.81\00:19:14.52
Well.
00:19:14.55\00:19:15.88
You know you always
want, like, Sharri, you know,
00:19:15.92\00:19:19.25
in the situation
daughter pushed us away.
00:19:19.29\00:19:22.36
So like when you get
these opportunities to,
00:19:22.39\00:19:25.36
that they open the door
to you, you want to be there.
00:19:25.39\00:19:29.96
And then you're in a
dilemma because, whoa,
00:19:30.00\00:19:32.70
you can't go
under this situation.
00:19:32.73\00:19:36.81
And you know by saying no,
00:19:36.84\00:19:39.64
there are going
to misunderstand you
00:19:39.67\00:19:41.48
and think you don't
wanna be around them.
00:19:41.51\00:19:43.78
But it's not that
your rejecting them,
00:19:43.81\00:19:46.95
but I cannot come and
affirm what you're doing
00:19:46.98\00:19:51.39
so you try to explain and
you know, at each junction
00:19:51.42\00:19:57.23
there are really requiring
you to surrender your values
00:19:57.26\00:20:01.80
and go along with them.
00:20:01.83\00:20:03.26
So basically, you
have to tell them,
00:20:03.30\00:20:05.93
well, no.
00:20:05.97\00:20:07.30
Or then, if I come...
00:20:07.34\00:20:10.27
I had to
finally tell that, well,
00:20:10.31\00:20:12.27
I'll come but if they asks
me who disagrees with this,
00:20:12.31\00:20:16.68
I said, "Honey, I am
gonna raise my hand."
00:20:16.71\00:20:21.25
Then she said, "Don't come."
00:20:21.28\00:20:22.62
Okay.
00:20:22.65\00:20:23.99
But your
reasoning was because the...
00:20:24.02\00:20:27.36
by being there it would
show an endorsement of something
00:20:27.39\00:20:30.79
that you didn't have
biblical grounding for?
00:20:30.83\00:20:33.19
Right.
00:20:33.23\00:20:34.56
The parent, your
child looks for approval
00:20:34.60\00:20:38.20
and reaffirming from the parent.
00:20:38.23\00:20:42.40
And of course,
that's what you want to give
00:20:42.44\00:20:44.61
to your children.
00:20:44.64\00:20:45.97
And but, in the situation
you have to let your child know
00:20:46.01\00:20:49.44
that if I...
00:20:49.48\00:20:50.81
that's why finally
I came, I said, okay
00:20:50.85\00:20:52.18
because she pleaded.
00:20:52.21\00:20:53.55
And I said, "Well, look,
if you really want me to come,
00:20:53.58\00:20:54.95
" I said, "I will not
participate in anything,
00:20:54.98\00:20:57.19
I will not be a party
to whatever you want to do.
00:20:57.22\00:20:59.92
So she finally came,
00:20:59.95\00:21:01.29
"Well, if you just come
in and sit in the back."
00:21:01.32\00:21:02.99
I said, "Well, okay.
00:21:03.02\00:21:04.76
But now remember, if I
come and sit in the back
00:21:04.79\00:21:07.43
there is a part in
the ceremony that says,
00:21:07.46\00:21:10.57
is there anyone here
that disapproves this?"
00:21:10.60\00:21:13.07
I say, "Honey, when
they ask the question,
00:21:13.10\00:21:16.04
I am going to raise my
hand and I will stand up and say
00:21:16.07\00:21:19.57
why I disapprove of that."
00:21:19.61\00:21:21.44
So basically, it
so hard to you know,
00:21:21.48\00:21:26.35
to love your child when you
see your child doing the things
00:21:26.38\00:21:31.85
that you've tried
to help them not to do.
00:21:31.89\00:21:34.99
But I am glad that God can
give parents that kind of love.
00:21:35.02\00:21:40.36
Right.
00:21:40.40\00:21:41.73
As someone who
experienced same-sex attraction
00:21:41.76\00:21:44.57
and for some one
who, at a time like that,
00:21:44.60\00:21:48.87
I would have wanted my parents
00:21:48.90\00:21:51.01
to have been present
over such a celebration
00:21:51.04\00:21:53.84
because I finally
felt happy with myself.
00:21:53.88\00:21:57.08
But I think that it's
important that love is conveyed
00:21:57.11\00:22:01.55
while the upholding
of the biblical principle
00:22:01.58\00:22:04.35
is still held out.
00:22:04.39\00:22:05.72
So that today, it's important
that friends and family
00:22:05.75\00:22:11.73
that are Christians believe
00:22:11.76\00:22:13.26
and know that this is a ceremony
00:22:13.29\00:22:16.33
that would be, that which
God would ordain and sanctify,
00:22:16.36\00:22:20.74
and since that's not
there from the word of God.
00:22:20.77\00:22:24.17
It's important to share
that I love and care about you,
00:22:24.21\00:22:28.18
and we like you to may be
come to dinner on another date,
00:22:28.21\00:22:31.31
or you know, make arrangements
to socializes and do things,
00:22:31.35\00:22:36.05
go hiking, go camping and stuff,
00:22:36.08\00:22:37.75
but necessary show celebration
00:22:37.79\00:22:39.69
of something that
God isn't celebrating.
00:22:39.72\00:22:43.83
Can I share
something? Yes, please.
00:22:43.86\00:22:45.49
Well, you know,
when this first happen,
00:22:45.53\00:22:47.76
I was focused so
much on Kenneth being gay
00:22:47.80\00:22:51.77
that it just, it
began to overshadow
00:22:51.80\00:22:54.07
every thing else about Kenneth.
00:22:54.10\00:22:55.84
And God brought it
to me, Mary Lou, God,
00:22:55.87\00:22:59.54
Kenneth has so many qualities
that you need to look at.
00:22:59.57\00:23:03.31
This is something that
you know, I'll deal with.
00:23:03.35\00:23:05.78
But focus on what
an amazing child he is.
00:23:05.81\00:23:08.68
I mean, he is
witty, he is compassionate,
00:23:08.72\00:23:11.99
he's got all of
these wonderful qualities.
00:23:12.02\00:23:14.09
And I have to tell
you, that helped me so much
00:23:14.12\00:23:16.39
to start seeing my child
again in the light, you know,
00:23:16.42\00:23:20.70
it's not that I dismiss this
or I don't pray about it but--
00:23:20.73\00:23:24.07
But I do see, Mary Lou,
00:23:24.10\00:23:26.94
that you do make
special arrangements
00:23:26.97\00:23:30.87
to go and visit frequently,
00:23:30.91\00:23:32.67
you have Kenneth into your home,
00:23:32.71\00:23:34.31
and I believe his partner?
00:23:34.34\00:23:35.68
Bring his partner, yeah.
00:23:35.71\00:23:37.05
And that you know,
he is very respectful,
00:23:37.08\00:23:38.41
they are in different rooms,
00:23:38.45\00:23:40.02
he never does
anything in front of us
00:23:40.05\00:23:41.75
that's impropriate.
00:23:41.78\00:23:44.02
He was grown, you know,
brought up to be respectable.
00:23:44.05\00:23:47.39
And I have always
tried to treat him that way.
00:23:47.42\00:23:50.36
So he is carried that
through in that relationship.
00:23:50.39\00:23:53.96
And I pray for his
partner. Sure, Absolutely.
00:23:54.00\00:23:57.73
Can I jam in on?
00:23:57.77\00:23:59.10
Mary Lou, it's the
similar situation that I had
00:23:59.13\00:24:02.40
because, really, God had
to really get me to the point
00:24:02.44\00:24:06.01
that sure my child
was into homosexuality
00:24:06.04\00:24:10.35
and it was something
that I did not approve of,
00:24:10.38\00:24:13.25
but was I am--
00:24:13.28\00:24:14.88
was I going to allow this
00:24:14.92\00:24:16.75
to totally
overshadow the whole thing?
00:24:16.79\00:24:21.32
And then God, the way he
got me to that point he says,
00:24:21.36\00:24:24.33
Elijah, would you
have been more comfortable
00:24:24.36\00:24:28.43
if your child
was in a fornicating,
00:24:28.46\00:24:31.00
just shagging with a female,
00:24:31.03\00:24:33.44
with a male
rather than a female?
00:24:33.47\00:24:36.14
And really I would
have been more comfortable.
00:24:36.17\00:24:39.74
And He says,
"But, Elijah, you see,
00:24:39.77\00:24:41.11
how wrong that
thinking is, you know."
00:24:41.14\00:24:43.08
And He had to
really, like Mary Lou says,
00:24:43.11\00:24:48.25
helped me to
understand that Elijah,
00:24:48.28\00:24:50.82
the sin problem is not yours,
00:24:50.85\00:24:53.09
that's His job to work out
the sin problem in her life.
00:24:53.12\00:24:57.13
And that was a relief to me,
00:24:57.16\00:24:58.89
that was like a
burden taken off my shoulder
00:24:58.93\00:25:01.50
that I don't have to work
out my children's sin problem.
00:25:01.53\00:25:06.13
And that really helped me
00:25:06.17\00:25:08.57
in my
relationship with my child.
00:25:08.60\00:25:10.51
Yeah. Exactly.
00:25:10.54\00:25:11.87
You know I think its important
that we really make it clear
00:25:11.91\00:25:15.51
that love can be demonstrated
to somebody without approval.
00:25:15.54\00:25:21.08
And so that's what I think is
so great about each one of you
00:25:21.12\00:25:24.62
that I see how much you love
00:25:24.65\00:25:27.36
and demonstrate that
love to your children.
00:25:27.39\00:25:29.82
But you hold up a biblical
principal which is not easy
00:25:29.86\00:25:33.36
when you see the
world quickly adopting
00:25:33.40\00:25:35.66
to what the flesh desires
or what we emotionally desire
00:25:35.70\00:25:39.83
that may not go in
accordance with God's word.
00:25:39.87\00:25:44.74
So you find support
today and for yourselves
00:25:44.77\00:25:48.64
and hope through what mean?
00:25:48.68\00:25:51.21
I find it
through Sheltering Trees,
00:25:51.25\00:25:56.15
a support group
we have on Facebook.
00:25:56.18\00:25:58.19
And let me say quickly,
00:25:58.22\00:25:59.55
that you can contact
Sharri Scott or Mary Lou Erwin,
00:25:59.59\00:26:03.26
E-R-W-I-N on
Facebook for a secret group
00:26:03.29\00:26:07.50
or a private group
called Sheltering Trees.
00:26:07.53\00:26:09.73
Parents, please make yourself
available for this support.
00:26:09.76\00:26:13.90
Go ahead.
00:26:13.94\00:26:15.27
And his words and
His promises, you know.
00:26:15.30\00:26:19.94
People who have gone through it
00:26:19.97\00:26:21.48
and have come out
on the other side,
00:26:21.51\00:26:23.61
so to speak,
there is great hope.
00:26:23.65\00:26:26.85
Yeah.
00:26:26.88\00:26:28.22
And you have
developed great friendships
00:26:28.25\00:26:29.65
with each other today.
00:26:29.68\00:26:32.82
Yes, and the word of God
is an unending support for us.
00:26:32.85\00:26:36.62
So many promises.
Yes, that we claim.
00:26:36.66\00:26:39.23
I find support in the fact
00:26:39.26\00:26:40.73
of Lord
bringing to my intension,
00:26:40.76\00:26:42.90
He says, "Elijah,
00:26:42.93\00:26:44.77
how would you have
liked to be an Adam
00:26:44.80\00:26:47.47
and to discover
that your elder son
00:26:47.50\00:26:50.57
just killed your son Cain, or--
00:26:50.61\00:26:54.31
and he had to deal
with those things or--
00:26:54.34\00:26:56.71
As a father.
00:26:56.75\00:26:58.08
As a father had to deal with
those problematic situations.
00:26:58.11\00:27:01.02
Yeah.
00:27:01.05\00:27:02.38
I Thank you so
much for each one of you
00:27:02.42\00:27:05.52
who have come and shared
deep form your hearts today.
00:27:05.55\00:27:08.52
I know that it's not easy
00:27:08.56\00:27:10.66
but I know, and I believe
that each of your children
00:27:10.69\00:27:14.20
as was in the case for me,
I knew my parents loved me,
00:27:14.23\00:27:18.10
I had the opportunity
00:27:18.13\00:27:19.50
to take my gay
friends to my parent's home.
00:27:19.53\00:27:23.34
They respected him,
they always respected him,
00:27:23.37\00:27:25.77
and my parents said,
oh, they are lovely people,
00:27:25.81\00:27:27.68
we really enjoyed having them.
00:27:27.71\00:27:29.61
And so I think that we can have
a relationship with the people
00:27:29.64\00:27:32.71
without endorsing behavior
00:27:32.75\00:27:34.98
and still up hold the
truth in love of Jesus Christ.
00:27:35.02\00:27:39.22
Amen.
00:27:39.25\00:27:40.59
I want to thank each,
again, of the viewers today
00:27:40.62\00:27:42.92
for tuning in and
watching Pure Choices.
00:27:42.96\00:27:46.19
And I just hope that
you'll continue to view in
00:27:46.23\00:27:49.10
for these great
inspiring stories.
00:27:49.13\00:27:51.50
Thank you so much.
God bless each one of you.
00:27:51.53\00:27:54.17