The following program
discusses sensitive issues.
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Parents are cautioned
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that some
material may be too candid
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for younger children.
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Welcome to Pure Choices.
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My name is Wayne Blakely
from Coming Out Ministries.
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Today I'm here with my guest,
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Marie Lou Erwin
and Sharri Scott.
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You know, when I
came out to my parents,
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it was after an
attempt at suicide.
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And everything
was centered on me
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and about how I felt.
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I'm not sure that
I put much emphasis
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or consideration
into how my parents felt.
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And today, I think that
we're breaking new territory,
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and speaking to
very loving parents
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of gay children,
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who may or may not
have suspected at some point
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that their child might come out
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and tell them
that they were gay.
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I'm guessing
probably in most situations,
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it wasn't expected.
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I'm thrilled to death,
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that you have
accepted an invitation
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to talk about your lives
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and how the
information about being a parent
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of a gay son, or a gay daughter,
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or daughters affected you.
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And not only that,
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but how this
affects other parents today.
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Sharri, I began to communicate
with you some time ago,
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and you were kind enough
to share with me a story.
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I'm wondering
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if you might share a
little bit of that with us.
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Sure, I can do that.
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Our journey began
about four years ago.
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My youngest daughter
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invited me out
for lunch one day,
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and shared with
me about a lifestyle
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I never expected
to see her enter into.
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And I went home, I
told my husband about it,
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we were both very
broken up, very sad,
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very blaming ourselves.
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And we just--
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we're starting to get our
feet under us again after that.
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And about five months later,
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our older daughter also
invited me out for lunch,
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and shared with
me about her life,
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what I certainly
didn't expect there either.
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And I--
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Again I was in the position
of having to tell my husband,
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and I didn't want to do
it, because he was so sad
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and so broken by the first news.
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I just thought how can I break
his heart and tell him this.
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So I actually held it to myself
for probably about a month.
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We were on a summer vacation
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and he could tell there
was something bothering me.
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And so one day he
took me out for a walk
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and got me to
tell what was going on.
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And I told him and
we were both, you know,
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both just so sad
over the whole thing.
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So how did you
process that information,
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I not being a parent,
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I'm not sure
how that would land.
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Oh, having it--
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you start with
just blaming yourself,
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and the enemy reminds you
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of every wrong
thing you ever did,
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and just, you know,
heaps around you that,
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you know, this
is all your fault.
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If you had had your eyes
open, if you'd been watching,
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if you'd been a better mom,
this wouldn't have happened.
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Right, right. So.
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Oh, wow.
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I remember the
depth and the pain
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that I recognized when
I read your email to me.
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I knew a little
bit about Mary Lou.
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We had been communicating
a little bit on Facebook.
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And I know Mary Lou
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that you have a
son identified as gay.
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And I have to say that in both,
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in meeting both of you
from the very beginning,
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all I saw was this
intense incredible love.
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So can you share? Sure.
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Well, what came
about Kenneth was,
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he was in his last
year at Walla Walla,
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and he was home
on Christmas break.
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And Walla Walla is...
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A university, an
Adventist university.
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And he was in his room,
and you know how parents are,
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they periodically
check the internet
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to see where
their kids had been.
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We have done that forever.
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So we happened to be--
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Robert happened to be
checking the internet,
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and he saw a site that
said, gaychristian.net.
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And he showed it to me,
we both looked at each other,
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and we
instinctively knew that it was,
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which child it was.
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So it was just a
matter of going in,
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he said, "What are we gonna do?"
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And I said, "Well,
we are gonna ask him."
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So he went--
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I went in, took in
his room and ask him,
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you know, "Are you gay?"
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And he was
stunned, wait and stunned,
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and just quiet for,
seemed like it forever.
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And he said, "Yes."
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And I think
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it must have been a
period of real relief for him.
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Sure. You know.
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He, as I look back now and know,
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there weren't but
a couple of people
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that he'd shared it with.
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But my first
thinking was fear for him.
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I remember the story about--
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I can't remember now.
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The young boy's name--
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I think it was in Idaho,
Sheppard was his last name.
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Mathew
Sheppard. Mathew Sheppard.
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And I thought,
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what are they
gonna do to my child.
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Right. You know.
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Yeah, that's what
was my first thought.
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It wasn't a heaven or hell,
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because I thought
Kenneth is been brought up
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in the truth.
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He's gonna be, you
know, he's gonna be celibate,
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he's gonna be--
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I don't have to
worry about that,
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but what is the
world gonna do to my son.
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And then the next thing I
think that I felt was sadness
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that he had
carried this for so long.
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And then, you know, so
many things you go through.
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I thought, "Oh, I
wasn't a good enough mom,
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that he could come to
me and tell me about it,
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that he had to share this--
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keep this burden to himself,
and not share it with me.
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And, yeah, guilt,
mothers are good at guilt.
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Yeah. Sure.
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So.
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I'm just thinking,
I remember a night--
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a long after I had told
my parents that I was gay.
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And I was very frustrated.
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And we had a tense conversation,
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and I was in my parent's home,
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and I had gone upstairs
to the bedroom and laid down.
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A little bit
later, my mom came up,
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and she lay down
by me and she said,
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"I don't know
what to do about this,
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but I want to
tell you something,
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that I love you no matter what."
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And so, I know that
there is a great sense of love
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that comes from
parents for their children.
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And at the same time, I
think, we have to consider,
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we need to consider
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of what this is like
for a parent, thinking
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that they have some kind
of responsibility in this.
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Today, I look at
it from the standpoint
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of knowing a lot better
about it than I ever have.
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Because we finally
delved into the matter
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looking at the fact
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that we're all born
with the sinful nature.
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And we have the
sins of our fathers on.
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We have circumstances
beyond our control.
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Sometimes, molestation,
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there are so
many different reasons
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that somebody can end up gay.
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But it's so
important today, that I convey,
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and that we convey
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that the parent
not blame themselves
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for causing something
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that they
weren't responsible for.
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Now I have to add
to that in situations
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that it is possible
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that a parent did
molest their child,
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and of course, that would
be a whole different scenario,
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different circumstance.
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When I had the
communication from both of you,
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I began to think, I
wonder if it would be helpful,
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if these parents
could talk to each other.
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And initially, Sharri,
there was great resistance,
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you were like no, no.
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Can you tell me a little bit
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of what was going
through your head?
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Yeah, I was very fearful that--
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it was still so
new, I think to us.
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And we didn't--
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we were still
hiding behind this fear
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of anybody finding out.
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And I knew that where she lived
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was close to where we
had lived few years back.
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And I was--
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my thought was, well,
what if she know somebody
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who knows me or know somebody,
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who knows somebody who knows me.
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And I was going
through the whole thing,
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and I was just really scared
to talk about it with anybody.
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And I think, I even told you,
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that I would make
up a new email account
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with a new name and everything.
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And I would get to know her
through that, because I just,
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I wanted to stay
hidden at the time.
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Yeah.
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Eventually there
was an agreement,
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where you wrote me, and you said
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that you thought
you would be ready
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to make an attempt to
have some communication.
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At that time, I
revealed emails to each other,
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and tell me how,
Mary Lou, what was it like
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when you began
to share with Sharri
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about your
circumstance in your life?
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It was comforting to
have somebody to talk to,
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because I wasn't
telling anybody in our family.
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I wasn't telling
any church people,
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you know, I didn't want to
have the finger pointed at me,
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"Oh, well, you must have
been a bad mother," you know.
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So you keep it to
yourself, and it was refreshing,
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and right away
from reading from her,
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it was apparent that she got it.
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She understood
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and we related
quickly to each other,
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it was wonderful.
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And today you
communicate quite frequently.
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Yeah, yeah.
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So I happened to
know that eventually
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the two of you met face to face,
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how did that happen?
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Thanks to you. Yes.
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Wayne, you decided
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that this was important
for us to meet each other,
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and you snuck Mary Lou
out to my part of the world,
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without telling me
you were bringing her.
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And it was so
exciting to meet her,
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and to be able to spend
that first time together,
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and we found out,
when we met in person,
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that it was even more wonderful
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than the relationship we
had formed over the internet.
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So it's just
amazing to have somebody,
00:11:18.94\00:11:21.91
like she said
before, who got it,
00:11:21.94\00:11:23.31
you have friends around
you, who are supportive,
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and loving, and caring,
and they are praying for you.
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And because some
of them are parents,
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they get it to a little extent.
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But to have somebody
who is a kindred spirit,
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we call each other.
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We--
00:11:39.46\00:11:40.80
it's just wonderful.
00:11:40.83\00:11:42.16
And, Mary Lou, I went with you,
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and it was quite an
adventure of itself.
00:11:43.73\00:11:49.27
We speak and
travel all over the world
00:11:49.30\00:11:51.47
and I accumulate miles
00:11:51.51\00:11:52.84
and so, God had impressed
me to use this ministry miles
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to put parents together,
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because I saw the
long needed connection
00:11:59.15\00:12:02.82
to have communication
and to be supportive
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and helpful of one and other.
00:12:05.19\00:12:06.72
And I know, Mary Lou, you
was about as excited as I was.
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I know that
after the first night
00:12:09.89\00:12:12.59
that it was the right thing.
00:12:12.63\00:12:15.03
I stayed in someone else's home,
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and you went and
stayed with Sharri.
00:12:16.83\00:12:19.27
So tell me what was that like
00:12:19.30\00:12:20.87
to be able to
finally talk to someone,
00:12:20.90\00:12:22.64
another parent face to face?
00:12:22.67\00:12:24.01
It was good to talk, not
just her, but then Ron too.
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You know, your hubby to be
able to hear an other man's,
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you know, thinking about
what was going on, and yeah,
00:12:32.18\00:12:36.52
just to be able to
put a face with the name.
00:12:36.55\00:12:40.66
And to be able to just share
more of our story together,
00:12:40.69\00:12:44.99
it was a wonderful experience.
00:12:45.03\00:12:47.06
You know, you
mentioned, Shaari's husband,
00:12:47.10\00:12:51.03
and I know a little bit
of your husband as well.
00:12:51.07\00:12:54.00
They seem to sometimes
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be in the
background a little bit,
00:12:55.40\00:12:56.81
but they are very much
part of this conversation
00:12:56.84\00:13:00.88
and you guys might be
able to share a little bit
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about what your
husbands share with you.
00:13:03.45\00:13:05.31
The types of
conversations that you have
00:13:05.35\00:13:08.48
about their love--
00:13:08.52\00:13:09.88
Do they also blame them--
00:13:09.92\00:13:11.89
I mean, I think the father,
particularly in male situations
00:13:11.92\00:13:15.46
might tend to blame
themselves a little bit too,
00:13:15.49\00:13:18.49
is that the case, Mary Lou?
00:13:18.53\00:13:19.86
I think
initially, that was true.
00:13:19.89\00:13:21.66
And, you know,
when we first found out
00:13:21.70\00:13:23.40
about Kenneth, it was
very little sleep for me,
00:13:23.43\00:13:26.67
it was reading, reading,
constant reading, you know.
00:13:26.70\00:13:29.44
And then, you would
read something about a dad,
00:13:29.47\00:13:31.31
who didn't spend
time with the men.
00:13:31.34\00:13:33.31
And that, I felt
like, "Whoa, that was true."
00:13:33.34\00:13:36.24
And there was a period of
time, a small period of time,
00:13:36.28\00:13:38.85
where I was
thinking, "Oh, oh, oh,
00:13:38.88\00:13:40.45
maybe this was
Robert," you know.
00:13:40.48\00:13:41.88
Because he was not
playing basketball,
00:13:41.92\00:13:44.15
he was not playing
football, you know.
00:13:44.19\00:13:46.32
So Kenneth didn't
get the manly thing,
00:13:46.35\00:13:50.46
so you go through all kinds of--
00:13:50.49\00:13:52.76
well, somebody
that you can blame.
00:13:52.79\00:13:54.76
You know, it has to be somebody.
00:13:54.80\00:13:57.97
But we were definitely,
you know, on the same page
00:13:58.00\00:14:00.44
as far as what we believe.
00:14:00.47\00:14:02.57
And Kenneth knew immediately,
00:14:02.60\00:14:05.34
that we love him
desperately, you know.
00:14:05.37\00:14:08.28
So, and that
was a relief to him.
00:14:08.31\00:14:11.15
Because he's seen kids
00:14:11.18\00:14:13.21
who have been
kicked out of their homes.
00:14:13.25\00:14:15.18
And he was so grateful
00:14:15.22\00:14:17.45
that he didn't
have those parents.
00:14:17.49\00:14:20.36
I know, Sharri, that
having met Ron a couple of times
00:14:20.39\00:14:24.16
that this is
heavy on his shoulders,
00:14:24.19\00:14:27.16
on his heart.
00:14:27.20\00:14:28.53
I know that your daughters
have actually gone individually
00:14:28.56\00:14:31.57
with him at
times, and communicated
00:14:31.60\00:14:34.54
and the dynamic has
always been such that,
00:14:34.57\00:14:38.44
you have this immense
love for both of your children.
00:14:38.47\00:14:41.28
Yes.
00:14:41.31\00:14:42.64
And, yeah, there
is so much weight
00:14:42.68\00:14:44.48
that you carry through this.
00:14:44.51\00:14:46.65
Tell me a little bit
about what that's like,
00:14:46.68\00:14:49.82
and I think the component
00:14:49.85\00:14:52.29
that really needs
to be brought in here
00:14:52.32\00:14:54.52
is that so many
parents love their children.
00:14:54.56\00:14:57.76
And they think that
00:14:57.79\00:14:59.13
in order to
demonstrate this love,
00:14:59.16\00:15:01.16
they have to endorse
the behavior and say,
00:15:01.20\00:15:04.20
it's okay, it
doesn't matter who you love,
00:15:04.23\00:15:06.77
but you guys have
decided to hold to a biblical
00:15:06.80\00:15:10.51
and very spiritual position
00:15:10.54\00:15:14.01
of which the
word of God gives us.
00:15:14.04\00:15:16.71
And it's very
difficult at times too,
00:15:16.75\00:15:19.65
because our children,
00:15:19.68\00:15:22.58
our girls particularly
want us to support them
00:15:22.62\00:15:26.55
in the choices
that they've made.
00:15:26.59\00:15:28.49
And when we have said, you know,
00:15:28.52\00:15:31.66
we love you to pieces
00:15:31.69\00:15:33.03
but we can't support
the choice that you've made,
00:15:33.06\00:15:37.70
it's made them push us back.
00:15:37.73\00:15:40.44
And, or push back from us.
00:15:40.47\00:15:42.30
And so that's a real
challenge that we've got.
00:15:42.34\00:15:45.77
But it's--
00:15:45.81\00:15:47.14
at the same time it's really
drawn Ron and I closer together
00:15:47.18\00:15:50.18
as a couple,
because of what we've
00:15:50.21\00:15:53.55
you know, had to
experience with them
00:15:53.58\00:15:54.92
pushing us away,
because we won't support
00:15:54.95\00:15:59.45
everything that
they're choosing.
00:15:59.49\00:16:01.89
I can't imagine--
00:16:01.92\00:16:03.39
it's like a child
disowning their parents
00:16:03.43\00:16:06.53
in certain aspects,
00:16:06.56\00:16:08.13
because they
can't get the approval
00:16:08.16\00:16:09.60
that they desire to have.
00:16:09.63\00:16:11.70
And to hold on to--
00:16:11.73\00:16:14.80
I know there is a
verse and I can't remember,
00:16:14.84\00:16:16.77
if it's in Isaiah, somewhere.
00:16:16.81\00:16:18.37
It talks about, "If
you love your husband more
00:16:18.41\00:16:21.74
or your children
more, then you love God,
00:16:21.78\00:16:24.51
that God holds us
accountable for that."
00:16:24.55\00:16:26.31
I mean--
00:16:26.35\00:16:27.68
and yet God is not, you
know, in our physical presence,
00:16:27.72\00:16:30.65
we don't see
Him, we don't interact
00:16:30.69\00:16:32.35
like we do with
other human beings.
00:16:32.39\00:16:34.29
So to put your
faith, and your trust,
00:16:34.32\00:16:36.22
and your love in your God
00:16:36.26\00:16:38.09
beyond even your
children has to be--
00:16:38.13\00:16:42.33
It has to come at great cost.
00:16:42.36\00:16:44.00
Your faith has
come at a great cost.
00:16:44.03\00:16:46.60
Can you share
anything about that?
00:16:46.63\00:16:48.70
It hurts. Yeah.
00:16:48.74\00:16:50.07
It's--
00:16:50.11\00:16:51.44
I always think about the
verse in Matthew, you know,
00:16:51.47\00:16:53.68
there will be a time
00:16:53.71\00:16:57.91
where there will be
a mother against son,
00:16:57.95\00:16:59.61
or father against
brother, whatever.
00:16:59.65\00:17:01.88
And I think, you
know, that's a possibility.
00:17:01.92\00:17:05.25
Yeah. But I love Jesus more.
00:17:05.29\00:17:11.49
And not choosing to
support our children
00:17:11.53\00:17:13.50
doesn't mean we don't love them.
00:17:13.53\00:17:15.16
It's absolutely
love that's doing that,
00:17:15.20\00:17:17.40
because we want to see them
00:17:17.43\00:17:19.80
have everything that
Jesus has planned for them.
00:17:19.83\00:17:21.94
And if we buy into what they're
choosing to do right now.
00:17:21.97\00:17:26.37
And they happily go along
00:17:26.41\00:17:28.11
knowing that they
have our support with that.
00:17:28.14\00:17:30.95
I mean,
00:17:30.98\00:17:33.31
how is that showing the
love that we need to show.
00:17:33.35\00:17:36.42
I know that I'm
sitting here today
00:17:36.45\00:17:39.49
only as the result of
the prayers of my parents.
00:17:39.52\00:17:43.59
And they prayed
for nearly 40 years.
00:17:43.63\00:17:45.83
I know they have to be
on their knees at times
00:17:45.86\00:17:49.46
thinking, is God
really hearing our prayers,
00:17:49.50\00:17:52.23
'cause I don't see
anything happening.
00:17:52.27\00:17:54.54
And I share, you
know, when I'm on the road,
00:17:54.57\00:17:58.07
and I'm speaking
in different churches
00:17:58.11\00:18:00.68
about this being
a two part prayer,
00:18:00.71\00:18:03.14
that there is never a
prayer that God doesn't hear.
00:18:03.18\00:18:06.58
But that we don't
tell God what to do,
00:18:06.61\00:18:08.45
we share our desires with Him.
00:18:08.48\00:18:10.92
And that when I come,
00:18:10.95\00:18:14.19
or the person you're
praying for comes to the point
00:18:14.22\00:18:17.29
of which they're
open to listening
00:18:17.33\00:18:18.99
to the Holy Spirit.
00:18:19.03\00:18:20.36
God just unleashes
the whole host of heaven.
00:18:20.40\00:18:23.40
And sends the Holy Spirit,
and take all those prayers
00:18:23.43\00:18:27.27
and surrounds that person,
00:18:27.30\00:18:28.84
and you begin to see that
there is really truly hope,
00:18:28.87\00:18:32.37
because you see something
changing in somebody's life.
00:18:32.41\00:18:35.58
And I pray that
you're both alive
00:18:35.61\00:18:37.55
to be able to see
that change take place,
00:18:37.58\00:18:40.82
because it may not happen
while we're living, you know.
00:18:40.85\00:18:43.52
And that's, I think heaven
is gonna be so incredible,
00:18:43.55\00:18:46.29
and that the mother or
father who didn't think
00:18:46.32\00:18:49.86
that their child would be there,
00:18:49.89\00:18:51.43
is there before him,
because later, you know,
00:18:51.46\00:18:53.60
they gave their
heart over to Jesus Christ.
00:18:53.63\00:18:56.10
There'd be surprises.
00:18:56.13\00:18:57.47
Yeah, many,
many great surprises.
00:18:57.50\00:19:00.14
I'm so impressed
by the solidarity
00:19:00.17\00:19:04.47
that you've kind of
gotten with each other.
00:19:04.51\00:19:06.81
And at one point you
began to share with me,
00:19:06.84\00:19:09.98
that you thought also,
00:19:10.01\00:19:11.41
that there needed to be
support for other parents.
00:19:11.45\00:19:14.52
And so as a result of that,
00:19:14.55\00:19:16.55
you formed an organization
under Coming Out Ministries,
00:19:16.58\00:19:19.52
called Sheltering Trees.
00:19:19.55\00:19:20.89
Right.
00:19:20.92\00:19:22.26
Mary Lou, how did
you arrive at that?
00:19:22.29\00:19:24.99
I tell you, when you said,
you wanted us to cover group,
00:19:25.03\00:19:28.23
that it was--
00:19:28.26\00:19:30.13
I call them God wings.
00:19:30.17\00:19:32.13
It was just a God wing
00:19:32.17\00:19:33.74
as far as a title for our group,
00:19:33.77\00:19:36.10
and it was Sheltering Trees.
00:19:36.14\00:19:38.07
And I don't know
00:19:38.11\00:19:39.44
how many people are
familiar with new song,
00:19:39.47\00:19:41.51
which is a
contemporary Christian group.
00:19:41.54\00:19:44.48
But they have a song
called Sheltering Trees.
00:19:44.51\00:19:47.52
And so I was
gonna share with you
00:19:47.55\00:19:49.62
some of the lyrics here.
00:19:49.65\00:19:50.99
Please.
00:19:51.02\00:19:53.52
It's been said, a friend
is like a Sheltering tree,
00:19:53.56\00:19:56.46
a place of refugee
00:19:56.49\00:19:57.83
when trouble
comes for you and me.
00:19:57.86\00:20:00.10
Someone we can count
on through thick and thin,
00:20:00.13\00:20:02.20
when the storms
of life are blowing.
00:20:02.23\00:20:04.23
There's just
nothing like a friend.
00:20:04.27\00:20:06.43
We all need Sheltering
Trees, friends in our lives
00:20:06.47\00:20:09.34
who will get
down on their knees,
00:20:09.37\00:20:10.94
and lift us up
before the King of kings.
00:20:10.97\00:20:13.71
We all need Sheltering Trees.
00:20:13.74\00:20:16.01
There been days
that I wasn't sure,
00:20:16.04\00:20:17.51
I could make it.
00:20:17.55\00:20:18.88
Clouds of doubt came rolling in,
00:20:18.91\00:20:20.88
and I didn't
know what I would do.
00:20:20.92\00:20:23.05
I would have given in,
and said I can't go on.
00:20:23.08\00:20:28.12
If it hadn't been for a friend
that helped me to be strong.
00:20:28.16\00:20:32.23
We all need Sheltering Trees,
00:20:32.26\00:20:34.46
friends in our lives
who'll get down on their knees.
00:20:34.50\00:20:37.37
You can face the
highest mountains and climb,
00:20:37.40\00:20:41.74
they feel so high
00:20:41.77\00:20:43.10
or come through
the darkest valley
00:20:43.14\00:20:44.84
and it won't seem so wide.
00:20:44.87\00:20:46.57
Nothing is impossible
when a friend is by your side.
00:20:46.61\00:20:49.84
We all need Sheltering Trees,
00:20:49.88\00:20:51.55
friends in our lives
who'll get down on their knees.
00:20:51.58\00:20:53.92
Yeah.
00:20:53.95\00:20:55.28
And that was what
encompassed to me,
00:20:55.32\00:20:57.82
all these parents
that were out there
00:20:57.85\00:21:00.09
needing a friend who
would get down on their knees,
00:21:00.12\00:21:02.99
a prayer warrior
for their children.
00:21:03.02\00:21:06.26
So our list has grown very long.
00:21:06.29\00:21:08.56
Yeah.
00:21:08.60\00:21:10.53
When we speak--
00:21:10.57\00:21:11.90
we share with congregations
00:21:11.93\00:21:13.87
and people that we encounter
about Sheltering Trees.
00:21:13.90\00:21:17.77
Sheltering Trees exist on
Facebook as a private form.
00:21:17.81\00:21:22.38
It's not there
to exploit anyone.
00:21:22.41\00:21:24.65
I mean, it's to
be a private place
00:21:24.68\00:21:26.72
that people can come to.
00:21:26.75\00:21:28.82
So I recommend,
if there is a parent
00:21:28.85\00:21:31.22
who wants support
from other parents
00:21:31.25\00:21:35.02
to contact Mary Lou Erwin,
or Sharri Scott on Facebook
00:21:35.06\00:21:40.86
and then and get
access to Sheltering Trees.
00:21:40.90\00:21:45.67
You know there is a fear factor
00:21:45.70\00:21:48.04
that you both
were part of early on,
00:21:48.07\00:21:50.54
and you know
that Sheltering Trees
00:21:50.57\00:21:51.97
has been a slow beginnings.
00:21:52.01\00:21:54.38
Kind of like in this ministry,
00:21:54.41\00:21:56.21
we had slow
beginnings, but, you know,
00:21:56.24\00:21:58.18
God just kept opening up
one door after the other.
00:21:58.21\00:22:01.65
And today we find that
we're able to help parents
00:22:01.68\00:22:06.15
come and contact with you.
00:22:06.19\00:22:08.26
Can you give me a little basis
00:22:08.29\00:22:11.93
about what takes
place in Sheltering Trees,
00:22:11.96\00:22:15.46
and why it would be a
safe place for a parent
00:22:15.50\00:22:19.43
to come and share?
00:22:19.47\00:22:20.97
First of all,
it's a secret group.
00:22:21.00\00:22:22.90
Nobody can get in there
unless we bring them in,
00:22:22.94\00:22:25.24
and nobody is gonna
see that you're there.
00:22:25.27\00:22:27.98
Right.
00:22:28.01\00:22:29.64
It's a place of
hope and encouragement.
00:22:29.68\00:22:32.11
And the kind of things
we share are Bible passages,
00:22:32.15\00:22:36.25
passages from other sources
00:22:36.28\00:22:38.02
that have been
really encouraging.
00:22:38.05\00:22:40.19
Songs, prayer requests
00:22:40.22\00:22:43.32
if we're really
struggling with something
00:22:43.36\00:22:45.49
or some issue with our child.
00:22:45.53\00:22:47.00
We share prayer request
and everyone can pray about it.
00:22:47.03\00:22:50.03
It's a very hopeful place, a
very encouraging happy place.
00:22:50.07\00:22:54.64
And most of the times--
00:22:54.67\00:22:56.04
I mean sometimes, when
there is a prayer request,
00:22:56.07\00:22:57.97
you know, it's not as happy,
00:22:58.01\00:22:59.41
but we know that
we can band together,
00:22:59.44\00:23:01.61
and we can pray about
these things together.
00:23:01.64\00:23:03.51
We know that there is
people out there all over,
00:23:03.55\00:23:06.08
who are holding our
children up in prayer,
00:23:06.11\00:23:07.95
and that's huge, huge.
00:23:07.98\00:23:09.48
Huge. Yeah, yeah.
00:23:09.52\00:23:10.85
And we message back and forth,
00:23:10.89\00:23:12.92
you know, with the
people in the group.
00:23:12.95\00:23:15.56
We do private messaging.
00:23:15.59\00:23:16.93
Yeah, oh, great. Oh, yeah.
00:23:16.96\00:23:18.29
So that's, you know,
00:23:18.33\00:23:19.69
maybe you want to
put something on the page
00:23:19.73\00:23:22.60
that's going on with your child,
00:23:22.63\00:23:23.97
but you want to talk to somebody
00:23:24.00\00:23:25.33
specifically about it.
00:23:25.37\00:23:26.70
Then we message back and forth.
00:23:26.74\00:23:28.07
Right, so that we can...
00:23:28.10\00:23:29.44
Or we share phone numbers,
you know, if we want to talk.
00:23:29.47\00:23:31.67
Yeah, so--
00:23:31.71\00:23:33.04
So there is
confidentiality there.
00:23:33.07\00:23:34.41
Sure. Oh, yeah.
00:23:34.44\00:23:35.78
And it's, you do feel
like it's a safe place.
00:23:35.81\00:23:37.98
Yes.
00:23:38.01\00:23:39.35
And a parent can
share their struggle
00:23:39.38\00:23:41.32
or their story openly,
00:23:41.35\00:23:43.12
if they so desire
under Sheltering Trees,
00:23:43.15\00:23:45.59
is that right?
00:23:45.62\00:23:46.96
Yes. In the form there.
00:23:46.99\00:23:48.32
Yeah.
00:23:48.36\00:23:49.69
I want to take opportunity
to put a plug in there
00:23:49.72\00:23:51.59
for the prayers, that
are the prayer requests,
00:23:51.63\00:23:55.20
and I know you
pray amongst yourselves.
00:23:55.23\00:23:57.33
We also have a prayer line.
00:23:57.37\00:24:01.14
If you go to
comingoutministries.org,
00:24:01.17\00:24:04.94
you can click on the prayer line
00:24:04.97\00:24:06.54
and see the phone number.
00:24:06.57\00:24:07.94
Michael Carducci
hosts this prayer line
00:24:07.98\00:24:10.55
on the east coast on Fridays,
00:24:10.58\00:24:13.88
from six to
seven in the morning,
00:24:13.92\00:24:15.25
and I host the one on
the west coast on Thursdays
00:24:15.28\00:24:19.89
from six to seven
in the morning also.
00:24:19.92\00:24:22.22
If we're gone or out of town,
00:24:22.26\00:24:23.96
we try to have
somebody else facilitate that.
00:24:23.99\00:24:26.49
But we have seen
amazing things happen,
00:24:26.53\00:24:29.56
we've seen results of prayer.
00:24:29.60\00:24:32.20
We have a man on the prayer line
00:24:32.23\00:24:35.04
that's been calling
00:24:35.07\00:24:36.40
since we started
three and half years ago,
00:24:36.44\00:24:39.11
whose wife left him because
she identified as lesbian.
00:24:39.14\00:24:43.81
And he had all biblical rights
00:24:43.85\00:24:46.61
to go on and seek someone
else to have in his life.
00:24:46.65\00:24:51.15
But he chose to
hold to God's word
00:24:51.19\00:24:54.26
and to God's promises,
00:24:54.29\00:24:55.92
and claim those
promises in prayer,
00:24:55.96\00:24:58.66
on our prayer lines.
00:24:58.69\00:25:00.26
And over the course of time,
00:25:00.30\00:25:02.36
we have watched the
Holy Spirit at work.
00:25:02.40\00:25:05.10
And we are on a brink here
00:25:05.13\00:25:07.87
of possibly even seeing
this husband and wife reunited.
00:25:07.90\00:25:13.31
Oh, wow.
00:25:13.34\00:25:14.68
And so it's very exciting
to watch and so, you know,
00:25:14.71\00:25:16.88
I just want to
lift them up in prayer.
00:25:16.91\00:25:19.01
Sure.
00:25:19.05\00:25:20.38
It's through your prayer line
00:25:20.42\00:25:21.75
that you have
shared more parents with us
00:25:21.78\00:25:24.75
that can, you know,
feel a support in our group,
00:25:24.79\00:25:29.46
so we appreciate that.
00:25:29.49\00:25:31.16
Absolutely.
00:25:31.19\00:25:33.36
So to tell me just briefly here
00:25:33.40\00:25:36.83
in the short time
that we have left.
00:25:36.87\00:25:38.33
What your relationship is
like with your children today?
00:25:38.37\00:25:42.70
Well, Kenneth,
it's good as it can be,
00:25:42.74\00:25:46.88
you know, we have
the situation between us
00:25:46.91\00:25:49.48
that he is gay and
living in the lifestyle.
00:25:49.51\00:25:53.01
But he knows and
he's welcome in our home,
00:25:53.05\00:25:58.02
he knows he's loved,
he brings his partner.
00:25:58.05\00:26:00.36
Yeah. He is very
respectful in that.
00:26:00.39\00:26:03.69
When they come--
00:26:03.73\00:26:05.73
they are in different bedrooms,
their behavior is appropriate.
00:26:05.76\00:26:12.53
So, you know, it's
good as it can get.
00:26:12.57\00:26:17.67
I praise the Lord for that,
00:26:17.71\00:26:19.21
because Kenneth knows that--
00:26:19.24\00:26:25.51
I think he would like
nothing more than that
00:26:25.55\00:26:27.82
we could step back and say,
00:26:27.85\00:26:30.02
"Oh, no we
support you, and you know,
00:26:30.05\00:26:31.92
and it would just
make everything great.
00:26:31.95\00:26:34.36
But he loves us and
I know that he does.
00:26:34.39\00:26:38.83
He's reflected that in
his behavior so many times.
00:26:38.86\00:26:44.40
So--
00:26:44.43\00:26:45.77
Great, that's good to
hear. How about you, Sharri?
00:26:45.80\00:26:49.50
Our girls have--
00:26:49.54\00:26:52.37
I guess you can say,
sort of dismissed themselves
00:26:52.41\00:26:54.44
from our lives in a lot of ways.
00:26:54.48\00:26:55.91
They've fixed it,
00:26:55.94\00:27:00.95
so communication
is very difficult.
00:27:00.98\00:27:03.15
As much as we love them,
00:27:03.18\00:27:04.52
and we try every little
way to relay that to them.
00:27:04.55\00:27:08.39
They moved away from
the area where we live,
00:27:08.42\00:27:10.66
and they have
blocked most of the ways
00:27:10.69\00:27:16.43
that I could
communicate with them.
00:27:16.46\00:27:18.43
And when we do try to
send them a letter or email
00:27:18.47\00:27:24.54
or something like that,
00:27:24.57\00:27:26.57
we get no response
from them whatsoever.
00:27:26.61\00:27:28.68
Well, that's a
perfectly good reason
00:27:28.71\00:27:31.35
why again
Sheltering Trees exist,
00:27:31.38\00:27:34.45
and why our prayer line exist.
00:27:34.48\00:27:36.62
And so I want to
encourage parents
00:27:36.65\00:27:39.62
to participate in
these opportunities
00:27:39.65\00:27:42.02
to lift up their children.
00:27:42.06\00:27:43.93
I want to thank you
so much for joining us
00:27:43.96\00:27:46.03
on Pure Choices today,
00:27:46.06\00:27:48.00
and to our viewing audience,
00:27:48.03\00:27:50.53
I pray that you're
blessed in this program.
00:27:50.57\00:27:52.57
Thank you for joining us,
00:27:52.60\00:27:53.94
and please view
again Pure Choices
00:27:53.97\00:27:56.87
whenever you
have the opportunity.
00:27:56.91\00:27:58.41