The following program
discusses sensitive issues.
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Parents are
cautioned that some material
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may be too candid
for younger children.
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Welcome to Pure Choices.
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I'm Ron Woolsey,
one of the co-founders
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of Coming Out Ministries.
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And today, with me
is Danielle Harrison,
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our newest member of
Coming Out Ministries.
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She has come to us from
an alternative lifestyle
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like the rest of us have.
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And we're just really
happy to have you here
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with us today, Danielle.
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Amen, Ron.
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I'm so glad to be here,
thanks for the privilege.
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I know, in the
last couple of years,
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we've gotten to know
each other pretty well,
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and we've worked together
as a team in many places.
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And I just want to let you know,
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Danielle has a
fascinating conversion story.
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We're going to
delve into that today.
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And I want to ask,
when in your life, Danielle,
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did you first realize
that same sex attraction
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was a part of
your thought processes?
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Well, it was actually
very early on in life.
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My parents separated when
I was about six years old.
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And we moved into
a neighboring town
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and we were living
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in a low-income
housing development.
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And it was there
that I met a young girl,
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she was living down the
street, and she was being
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sexually abused by
someone in her life.
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And so she was
learning things about her body
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that she shouldn't have
known and she started sharing
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those things with me.
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And so I don't really
know if the experience came
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before the attraction
or if the attraction came
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before the
experience, but I know
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that it began at
a very young age,
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probably around
seven, the experiences
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of interacting
sexually with the same sex.
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So I know that those experiences
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really strongly
colored my thoughts
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and my feelings
throughout my life after that.
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So how did you feel
about these interactions
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with this person?
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Well, at first, it
was really the attention
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and the affection
that I was most drawn to,
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that I appreciated the most.
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And then
afterwards, it really...
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the extreme pleasure
from the experience drove me
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into strong
addiction to those feelings
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and those experiences.
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And so at first, that was
kind of my relationship with it,
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at first, it was good,
but it didn't take very long
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for it to have a negative side
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because there was a lot of guilt
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and there was a lot of
shame and confusion that came
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into my heart as a little
girl experiencing these things.
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You know, when...
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For example, at our
home, we have horses.
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And when a new one comes along,
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we imprint the foal
as soon as it is born.
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We handle it so it gets
used to human smell, taste...
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Not taste but human
smell and feel and sounds
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and all of these things.
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And so when things like
this happen early on in life,
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to me, it's kind of
like the imprinting process.
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And so I'm
wondering what kind of effect
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did this have on
you later in life.
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Did it have any
effects in your later life?
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Sure.
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Well, the effect
started very soon afterwards
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because I was learning
these things about my body
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that I shouldn't have known.
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Masturbation soon
became an addiction.
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And this was a
stronghold addiction in my life
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for many years until I ended up
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giving my heart to Jesus.
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And I had a lot of shyness
and timidity around girls
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because I had
attractions to them.
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And so I was more
awkward and shy around the girls
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and more open and
comfortable with the boys.
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And I think because of the
way that media impresses us
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that we have to be interacting
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with the opposite
sex a certain way,
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especially as girls, I
became very flirtatious
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with the boys at
a young age also.
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So there was this
dynamic of having these
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sexual
experiences with the girls
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and then having this
flirtatious air towards
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the boys, so I
started interacting sexually
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with boyfriends
also at pretty young age,
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I was about 14 years old.
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I came out as
bisexual when I was 15,
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and then I'd lost my virginity
by the time I was 16 years old.
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So, you know,
these young experiences
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really sprung me, it
was a spring board really,
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into other sexual sins
later on down the road.
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Yeah, okay so as you
embraced being bisexual
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and this is what
I'm hearing you say
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that you were
attracted to both boys and girls
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and then you just kind
of embraced that identity.
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So did you just
label yourself as bisexual?
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How did you... Where
did you go from there?
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Well, yeah, I think
that my sexuality really
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was a big part of my
identity in different ways
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at different
times in my journey.
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At first, it was
just kind of a...
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it was freeing to start to
identify myself in the ways
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that I had always felt.
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And so there was a sense
of liberation that came along.
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And there was also a
level of, I think, you know,
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attention that came
along with it as well.
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After some time went on
though, it wasn't so much about
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what other people thought,
it was more about being myself.
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And that was the
biggest liberating part,
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I just wanted to be who I was.
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And then after a time, you know,
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I was in
relationships with men and women
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and sometimes
couples and all kinds
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of highly complicated
relationships for about
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10 years of my
life, very codependent,
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very complicated and
confusing relationships.
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And at the end of
this journey, eventually,
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I came to really
identify as a lesbian
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because I thought
this whole bisexual thing,
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obviously, isn't really working.
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And as I embraced
calling myself a lesbian
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and identifying as a
lesbian, this really pushed
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the God of the Bible
and the God that I had read
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about in the Bible
away from me even further.
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It really estranged me
from God because I had known
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that there were certain things
in the Bible that talked about
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homosexuality
not being acceptable,
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I had never read
those things on my own,
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so I didn't really
know where that was
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and how to navigate that.
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But I knew that it wasn't
acceptable to be Christian
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and to be gay, and
so as I labeled myself
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as a lesbian, I
thought, well, there's no option
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of being a Christian now.
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So as you were growing
up and God was not really
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a part of your
life, at this point,
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you're just looking to
yourself to find your way.
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It kind of reminds me of
the illustration of a ship
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at sea without an anchor,
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without a sail that's
kind of being tossed about.
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I mean, did you
feel kind of this way
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that you're just
constantly exploring,
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trying to find yourself?
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Yeah, I really was. I was.
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And like I said,
there was a lot of confusion
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when I was younger.
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And there was a
lot of confusion also
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when I was older.
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I think it just came with
the territory of really...
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when you lose the borders that
God has placed on sexuality,
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and there are no borders,
it's really hard to feel
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any stability in any
kind of relationship.
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And when your
sexuality is bound up so much
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in your identity,
it's hard to find stability
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in your identity as well.
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Well, did you ever have
a relationship with God?
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And if so, how did this
aspect of your life impact that
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relationship that
you had had with God.
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I mean, you did, I
think I've heard you say,
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in your youth, in
your younger years,
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you did have a
relationship with God.
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Yeah, well, when I
was nine years old,
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I was baptized.
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I had been
attending church frequently
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with a family
friend for many years
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as I was
younger, and eventually,
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the pastor sat
us down and he said,
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"Do you believe in Jesus?
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Do you want him
to be your savior?"
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And I said,
"Yes." But I really...
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I didn't have a relationship
with Him at that time,
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I didn't read the Bible
or have an active prayer life
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or anything like
that, so I was baptized,
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but it was just what
you do when you love Jesus.
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When I got a little bit
older, when I was about 12,
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I moved in next door
to an Adventist family.
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And a few years
later, we eventually started
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having Bible studies at
our house on Friday night.
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My sister was studying
with one of their sons.
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And so I was here
exposed to Adventism.
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But again, I really didn't
have a relationship with Jesus.
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And I looked at my life
and I looked at my inability
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to do what I thought was right,
and I looked at the problems
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in my life, and I
blamed those all on God.
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At what point was
this that you were having
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these Bible studies?
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I mean, was this back earlier
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before you went
into the bisexual life?
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It was.
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It was probably
about 13, 14 years old.
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And so I came out as
bisexual when I was about 15.
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And so yeah, I
really was just...
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I was blaming God, and I
walked out into the world
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because God wasn't giving me
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what I wanted
really, the contentment.
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And so I went out into the world
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searching for contentment
in the things of the world.
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And I realized very quickly,
well, within a few years
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of sowing my wild oats and
just being out in the world
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and seeing what it offered,
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I came to a very dark and
scary place and I realized
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that those things
that I was searching for,
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contentment and solace,
were just broken cisterns,
00:11:14.20\00:11:16.67
that they were empty,
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and they didn't have
anything to offer me.
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I would go to them.
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And at first,
they would feel good
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and they would be stimulating,
but then it would melt away
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and I would just be
left even more empty
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and more vacant afterwards.
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And like I said, I felt
more and more estranged from God
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as I walked out into
this wilderness, you know,
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and I started to gravitate
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towards
alternative spirituality,
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just like I was
gravitating towards
00:11:46.20\00:11:48.84
alternative
sexuality, the same became
00:11:48.87\00:11:51.51
true for my spirituality
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because I could
relate easier to women,
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I related to
God more as a woman,
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and I started reading into
a lot of different religions
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of the world and
new age and all of that.
00:12:00.28\00:12:03.85
Can you
elaborate, just a little bit,
00:12:03.89\00:12:05.42
about the different religions
that you were exploring?
00:12:05.45\00:12:10.06
Sure.
00:12:10.09\00:12:11.43
Well, I was really
interested in Wiccanism,
00:12:11.46\00:12:13.83
which is the
religion of witchcraft.
00:12:13.86\00:12:15.90
I was also reading into
Native Americans spirituality,
00:12:15.93\00:12:20.14
different forms of animal speak
00:12:20.17\00:12:22.04
and nature worship and
spirit worship and stuff.
00:12:22.07\00:12:25.31
And then I started
getting into quantum mechanics,
00:12:25.34\00:12:27.81
quantum physics and stuff
like that with the new age
00:12:27.84\00:12:30.35
and the energy
healing and all of that.
00:12:30.38\00:12:32.75
Did this journey into
the different religions,
00:12:32.78\00:12:35.82
did this effect
how you saw yourself,
00:12:35.85\00:12:39.49
how you carried
yourself, how you accessorized?
00:12:39.52\00:12:43.16
Yeah, sure. Your look?
00:12:43.19\00:12:45.36
You know, because I think
it'd be important to share
00:12:45.39\00:12:49.40
just a little
bit of this dark side
00:12:49.43\00:12:51.67
without being
real graphic of course
00:12:51.70\00:12:53.13
but share just
a little bit about
00:12:53.17\00:12:56.34
where these roads led you.
00:12:56.37\00:12:59.11
Yes, well, I really
got involved heavily
00:12:59.14\00:13:02.88
in the city of
Seattle with the rave scene
00:13:02.91\00:13:06.21
and the concert scene.
00:13:06.25\00:13:07.62
And this sucked
me into the drugs
00:13:07.65\00:13:11.69
and everything
that went along with it.
00:13:11.72\00:13:13.09
I got to the point
where I was very...
00:13:13.12\00:13:16.12
I never really identified
myself as punk or goth
00:13:16.16\00:13:19.83
or grunge or anything like that,
00:13:19.86\00:13:21.36
but you could just conglomerate
all of those together.
00:13:21.40\00:13:24.13
However, anyone seeing
the pictures would have
00:13:24.17\00:13:27.30
identified you
as punk or grunge...
00:13:27.34\00:13:29.60
A conglomerate
of those. Or Goth.
00:13:29.64\00:13:32.27
You know, my
generation doesn't really
00:13:32.31\00:13:33.98
quite understand all of this.
00:13:34.01\00:13:36.75
But I have seen the pictures,
and it's really amazing,
00:13:36.78\00:13:40.32
you know, where these
side roads will take you.
00:13:40.35\00:13:42.62
Yeah.
00:13:42.65\00:13:43.99
And that was the
phase that I was in right
00:13:44.02\00:13:45.35
before I started going into
the alternative spirituality
00:13:45.39\00:13:48.02
because, you know, I
was wearing devil horns
00:13:48.06\00:13:51.63
and writing satanic song
lyrics and stuff on my skin
00:13:51.66\00:13:54.86
whenever I was out
in that dark place,
00:13:54.90\00:13:58.30
but as I started turning towards
00:13:58.33\00:13:59.83
the alternative spirituality,
00:13:59.87\00:14:01.74
I started
searching for the light.
00:14:01.77\00:14:04.01
And that was the biggest thing
that really resonated with me
00:14:04.04\00:14:06.37
was the object lesson
of light and darkness.
00:14:06.41\00:14:08.78
And I started to gravitate
away from those darker things
00:14:08.81\00:14:12.11
and get into really
searching for the light
00:14:12.15\00:14:16.15
and what that was.
00:14:16.18\00:14:17.52
And I referred to
God as "the divine,"
00:14:17.55\00:14:20.19
and I didn't know who He was
but I was definitely searching.
00:14:20.22\00:14:23.93
Well, and those pathways
in which you were going,
00:14:23.96\00:14:28.00
did they tend to lead
you into more darkness
00:14:28.03\00:14:30.30
or do you think they
led you towards the light?
00:14:30.33\00:14:33.54
Well, you know, I
think that it was...
00:14:33.57\00:14:39.37
It's definitely a path
that can lead to the darkness,
00:14:39.41\00:14:43.38
and it does.
00:14:43.41\00:14:44.75
That's the only
place that it can go.
00:14:44.78\00:14:46.21
I often say that
here I was, you know,
00:14:46.25\00:14:49.58
wanting to get to know God
00:14:49.62\00:14:51.75
and wanting to get off the drugs
00:14:51.79\00:14:53.12
and clean up my
life and do better,
00:14:53.15\00:14:55.42
and so I was trying to
get back on the straight path,
00:14:55.46\00:14:57.53
but I was just
overcorrecting into the ditch
00:14:57.56\00:14:59.66
on the other side and going into
00:14:59.69\00:15:01.03
all of this
alternative spirituality.
00:15:01.06\00:15:03.43
But while there
is so much danger
00:15:03.47\00:15:07.24
in those religions
because there's so much error
00:15:07.27\00:15:11.14
mingled with truth, I
think at the same time,
00:15:11.17\00:15:14.94
God really reads the heart.
00:15:14.98\00:15:16.31
Exactly.
00:15:16.34\00:15:17.68
And He saw the
sincerity of my heart.
00:15:17.71\00:15:19.05
And even though
I was calling Him
00:15:19.08\00:15:20.42
by the wrong
name and I was looking
00:15:20.45\00:15:22.18
for love in all
the wrong places,
00:15:22.22\00:15:24.22
God honored those
prayers that I was praying.
00:15:24.25\00:15:27.16
And He led me gently
just as far as I was willing
00:15:27.19\00:15:31.93
to go along the path to bring me
00:15:31.96\00:15:35.50
one step closer to Him,
00:15:35.53\00:15:37.23
as I would allow
Him to do that for me.
00:15:37.27\00:15:41.27
I think that's
such an important point
00:15:41.30\00:15:42.87
that you make there
that God knows the heart.
00:15:42.90\00:15:45.27
And even though
you were looking in
00:15:45.31\00:15:46.64
all the wrong directions,
what mattered to God,
00:15:46.68\00:15:49.78
this is what I'm
seeing in your story,
00:15:49.81\00:15:51.81
what mattered to God
was you were looking.
00:15:51.85\00:15:53.58
Mm-hm.
00:15:53.62\00:15:54.95
You were looking for truth,
you were looking for light,
00:15:54.98\00:15:56.95
and He guided you through
that and evidently out of that
00:15:56.99\00:16:03.22
because I think you
came to a turning point.
00:16:03.26\00:16:06.09
Can you share with us the
turning point of your life
00:16:06.13\00:16:09.33
where you turned
away from your will
00:16:09.36\00:16:11.73
and then began
to seek God's will?
00:16:11.77\00:16:13.67
Sure.
00:16:13.70\00:16:15.04
Well, as I was venturing
through this journey of walking
00:16:15.07\00:16:21.51
with "the divine,"
God was revealing Himself
00:16:21.54\00:16:24.58
to me in little ways,
and they were abstract ways
00:16:24.61\00:16:29.98
to my understanding now
00:16:30.02\00:16:32.02
because my
mentality was so abstract.
00:16:32.05\00:16:34.92
And I believe, He
met me where I was at.
00:16:34.96\00:16:38.36
But it was always
pointing me back to Him.
00:16:38.39\00:16:41.43
And as He would reveal Himself
to me through experiences,
00:16:41.46\00:16:44.60
conversations, acquaintances,
and all these different things,
00:16:44.63\00:16:47.97
I was starting to see,
even repetitive numbers,
00:16:48.00\00:16:52.01
there were a series of
events that were happening.
00:16:52.04\00:16:56.34
And I was starting to see
that there wasn't any such thing
00:16:56.38\00:17:00.35
as coincidence.
00:17:00.38\00:17:01.72
I was starting to really believe
00:17:01.75\00:17:03.08
that there was
something going on
00:17:03.12\00:17:04.45
in the universe and
something was trying
00:17:04.49\00:17:05.92
to get my attention.
00:17:05.95\00:17:07.66
And that was a huge
part of the turning point,
00:17:07.69\00:17:10.79
and really, I
understand and believe
00:17:10.83\00:17:12.99
and know now that
that part of the journey
00:17:13.03\00:17:16.63
was a direct consequence
of the prayers of my mother
00:17:16.67\00:17:22.70
and my sister and
their congregations
00:17:22.74\00:17:24.64
who were
earnestly praying for me.
00:17:24.67\00:17:26.88
And so that really
began to shift me, I think,
00:17:26.91\00:17:31.21
towards desiring to
understand spirituality.
00:17:31.25\00:17:34.35
And I ended up going
00:17:34.38\00:17:36.28
to an Adventist
health institution,
00:17:36.32\00:17:39.02
I went out to the Black
Hills Health & Education Center
00:17:39.05\00:17:41.92
in South Dakota,
and I just expected
00:17:41.96\00:17:44.43
to be there for six
months, working on the farm.
00:17:44.46\00:17:46.90
But as I was there, in the
soil and working in the fields,
00:17:46.93\00:17:52.53
God started to speak to me.
00:17:52.57\00:17:55.07
And I started to see Him
reflected in His creation.
00:17:55.10\00:17:58.41
And it was while I was
there that God really started
00:17:58.44\00:18:02.04
to send powerful messages,
illuminating the darkness
00:18:02.08\00:18:06.35
and illuminating the confusion
and starting to show me
00:18:06.38\00:18:11.85
that I had been programmed
from a young age to view life
00:18:11.89\00:18:14.36
the way that I did,
00:18:14.39\00:18:15.72
to view
spirituality the way that I did,
00:18:15.76\00:18:17.43
and to view
sexuality they way that I did.
00:18:17.46\00:18:19.19
And God, especially, did
that for me through Dan Gabbert
00:18:19.23\00:18:22.70
who was the
spiritual counselor there,
00:18:22.73\00:18:24.57
a number of other
people who would speak
00:18:24.60\00:18:27.47
and study with me,
00:18:27.50\00:18:29.50
Chad and Foddy or Klusener,
I think, were playing films.
00:18:29.54\00:18:32.61
And especially,
Little Light Studios,
00:18:32.64\00:18:35.14
when Tom came out here and
gave me some of their DVDs.
00:18:35.18\00:18:38.15
These were a lot of the
things that were really shutting
00:18:38.18\00:18:41.78
the light of the
deception onto my path.
00:18:41.82\00:18:45.95
And that was
what really woke me up
00:18:45.99\00:18:47.89
and helped me to see
that I needed to turn away
00:18:47.92\00:18:51.03
and walk in a
different direction.
00:18:51.06\00:18:53.09
You know, this leads me to
a question that comes to me
00:18:53.13\00:18:55.93
all the time.
00:18:55.96\00:18:57.33
And I'm going to ask
you the same question
00:18:57.37\00:18:59.40
because it's really
a fascinating question
00:18:59.43\00:19:02.64
and it shows
the misunderstanding
00:19:02.67\00:19:04.24
of a lot of people
about the plan of salvation.
00:19:04.27\00:19:07.84
When you accept
Jesus, when He finds you
00:19:07.88\00:19:12.11
and brings you
home and you accept him,
00:19:12.15\00:19:15.02
the question
that comes to me is,
00:19:15.05\00:19:17.02
did all of those
attractions just disappear?
00:19:17.05\00:19:19.55
Did He take it all away?
00:19:19.59\00:19:21.49
And I know what it
was like in my story.
00:19:21.52\00:19:25.56
I want to hear
how it was with you.
00:19:25.59\00:19:28.53
Did all of this just
disappear as you came to Jesus?
00:19:28.56\00:19:33.30
Sure.
00:19:33.34\00:19:34.67
Well, there was
a pivotal moment.
00:19:34.70\00:19:36.04
I was actually
watching a documentary called
00:19:36.07\00:19:39.37
Magic Kingdom by
Little Light Studios,
00:19:39.41\00:19:42.41
and it was through that
humble little documentary
00:19:42.44\00:19:45.28
that no one ever
would have imagined
00:19:45.31\00:19:46.92
that it would speak this to
me was through this documentary
00:19:46.95\00:19:49.82
that God spoke to
me and really showed me
00:19:49.85\00:19:52.69
that I had been
programmed from a young age
00:19:52.72\00:19:56.29
and that it wasn't His
plan for my life for me
00:19:56.32\00:19:59.53
to be a lesbian.
00:19:59.56\00:20:01.10
And I remember
weeping after that night
00:20:01.13\00:20:04.50
and just realizing that I
had to give my understanding
00:20:04.53\00:20:10.01
of my sexuality
and the distraction
00:20:10.04\00:20:11.81
that sexual sin
and sexual addiction
00:20:11.84\00:20:15.34
were to me, I had to
give those things up.
00:20:15.38\00:20:17.68
And that was hard
because, like I said,
00:20:17.71\00:20:19.05
my identity was so
wrapped up in my sexuality.
00:20:19.08\00:20:24.29
And something shifted
in my heart at that point.
00:20:24.32\00:20:29.66
When I started to see
things from God's perspective,
00:20:29.69\00:20:33.70
then my desire for the things
that went against His expressed
00:20:33.73\00:20:37.83
will started to melt away.
00:20:37.87\00:20:40.44
So it's a process.
00:20:40.47\00:20:41.84
You know, I think, in His mercy,
00:20:41.87\00:20:44.01
He put my mind
on a different path.
00:20:44.04\00:20:48.14
Yes.
00:20:48.18\00:20:49.51
And He honored me in that
sincere heart cry for victory
00:20:49.54\00:20:55.82
and a new direction in my life.
00:20:55.85\00:20:57.59
But I realized
very, very quickly
00:20:57.62\00:20:59.49
that I had an important
part to play in the equation,
00:20:59.52\00:21:02.69
that I had to become
mindful of where my thoughts
00:21:02.72\00:21:04.73
were running, of
where my eyes were looking.
00:21:04.76\00:21:07.13
I had a lot of bad
habits of allowing my eyes
00:21:07.16\00:21:10.83
and my mind to wander in
places they shouldn't go.
00:21:10.87\00:21:13.57
And so I had to become
mindful of my thoughts,
00:21:13.60\00:21:17.11
and I had to start to
guard the avenues of my soul,
00:21:17.14\00:21:21.18
you know, to just
really guard the things
00:21:21.21\00:21:24.21
that came into my heart
and my mind through my senses.
00:21:24.25\00:21:28.22
And as I started
to really journey
00:21:28.25\00:21:31.49
on through this
experience, you know,
00:21:31.52\00:21:34.36
it wasn't like the
attractions never came back in
00:21:34.39\00:21:38.63
because they did at times.
00:21:38.66\00:21:40.40
But God was just trying
to help me to see things
00:21:40.43\00:21:42.53
from his
perspective on the process
00:21:42.56\00:21:45.23
just like he helped
me to see them before.
00:21:45.27\00:21:49.14
There are still things
that He's been teaching me
00:21:49.17\00:21:50.91
along the way, and
there's still many things
00:21:50.94\00:21:52.71
that I'm sure
that He will teach me.
00:21:52.74\00:21:56.31
And it has been a process.
00:21:56.34\00:21:57.98
And one of the things
that has really helped me
00:21:58.01\00:22:01.15
is how God has helped me to
relate to beauty differently
00:22:01.18\00:22:04.39
because, after a while, I
would meet a person and I think,
00:22:04.42\00:22:10.99
"Wow, she's really beautiful,
I really appreciate her."
00:22:11.03\00:22:14.03
And then I would
start to think, "Oh, no!"
00:22:14.06\00:22:15.73
You know, "I can't
like her, this isn't okay,"
00:22:15.76\00:22:18.13
and, "what's wrong with me."
00:22:18.17\00:22:19.77
You know, it's easy
to be hard on ourselves.
00:22:19.80\00:22:22.94
And, you know, I really
believe that it was just
00:22:22.97\00:22:25.44
the Holy Spirit that said,
"Danielle, God created beauty,
00:22:25.47\00:22:29.48
He created all the
beauty in the world,
00:22:29.51\00:22:31.15
He created us to
appreciate beauty,
00:22:31.18\00:22:32.91
He obviously appreciates beauty.
00:22:32.95\00:22:34.78
And it's not sinful for
you to appreciate her character
00:22:34.82\00:22:38.89
and to see her as a beautiful
part of God's creation.
00:22:38.92\00:22:42.26
But it's what you do with those
thoughts that determine whether
00:22:42.29\00:22:45.26
or not it becomes sinful.
00:22:45.29\00:22:46.76
Are you going to dance
around with those thoughts
00:22:46.80\00:22:48.40
or are you just going
to say, 'Thank you, Lord,
00:22:48.43\00:22:50.23
for this person
who You've created,'
00:22:50.27\00:22:51.97
and, you know, set
down those thoughts
00:22:52.00\00:22:55.07
and not allow
them to be cultivated
00:22:55.10\00:22:56.81
and to grow into
something that is sinful."
00:22:56.84\00:22:58.57
This has been a really
easy process, hasn't it?
00:22:58.61\00:23:01.01
Or has there been any
difficulties along the way?
00:23:01.04\00:23:03.38
No.
00:23:03.41\00:23:04.75
Could you tell us
what is the hardest part
00:23:04.78\00:23:06.92
about walking with
Christ or is there a hard part?
00:23:06.95\00:23:11.35
There are hard parts.
00:23:11.39\00:23:14.06
There are hard moments
and there are hard seasons.
00:23:14.09\00:23:18.46
It hasn't always been easy.
00:23:18.49\00:23:20.60
I think the hardest part for
me in the Christian experience,
00:23:20.63\00:23:26.17
it takes perseverance.
00:23:26.20\00:23:28.84
You know, and I
think the hardest parts
00:23:28.87\00:23:30.87
of my walk have
been when God has really
00:23:30.91\00:23:33.94
opened up my heart to
me and He has shown me
00:23:33.98\00:23:37.68
the shadows in
the corners of my soul
00:23:37.71\00:23:40.12
and He has helped me to see
my sin for what He sees it as,
00:23:40.15\00:23:45.95
for what it really is
and how it's hurting me,
00:23:45.99\00:23:48.12
how it's hurting
the people I love,
00:23:48.16\00:23:49.49
and how it's hurting Him.
00:23:49.52\00:23:51.03
And those seasons of my
life have been the hardest
00:23:51.06\00:23:54.00
because I've seen
myself in my sinfulness,
00:23:54.03\00:23:56.97
and it's been so convicting.
00:23:57.00\00:23:59.83
But at the same time,
it's been beautiful too
00:23:59.87\00:24:03.61
because he's called me
away from those things.
00:24:03.64\00:24:08.18
And so, you know, that is hard.
00:24:08.21\00:24:11.65
It's hard to lay down the things
00:24:11.68\00:24:14.32
that we're clinging to.
00:24:14.35\00:24:15.68
And I think the
hardest part about walking away
00:24:15.72\00:24:17.29
from those
things is that usually
00:24:17.32\00:24:19.82
when God comes in and says,
00:24:19.85\00:24:21.19
"Danielle, you know,
these are the shadows,
00:24:21.22\00:24:22.89
these are things that I need you
00:24:22.92\00:24:25.66
to surrender to me,"
00:24:25.69\00:24:27.03
those are usually the
things that I'm clinging to
00:24:27.06\00:24:29.16
for a sense of
identity or a sense of comfort
00:24:29.20\00:24:32.00
or a sense of solace.
00:24:32.03\00:24:33.87
And so it is hard, but...
00:24:33.90\00:24:37.11
So there is a flipside also.
00:24:37.14\00:24:40.24
There's great blessing
even though there's a struggle.
00:24:40.28\00:24:42.48
Yes. There's a great blessing.
00:24:42.51\00:24:43.88
Yes, there are beautiful parts
of even the darkest moments
00:24:43.91\00:24:47.88
of those challenging experiences
00:24:47.92\00:24:50.52
because it's developing a
relationship with my creator,
00:24:50.55\00:24:56.62
a dynamic between Him and I
where I see Him for who He is.
00:24:56.66\00:25:01.56
I see His character.
00:25:01.60\00:25:03.23
And by
beholding, I become changed.
00:25:03.26\00:25:05.33
You know, I was changed
into the image of the world
00:25:05.37\00:25:08.24
by beholding it.
00:25:08.27\00:25:09.60
But as I behold
God more and more,
00:25:09.64\00:25:12.17
I am changed and my
character has changed so much.
00:25:12.21\00:25:16.75
And seeing Himself show
Himself strong in my life
00:25:16.78\00:25:21.52
and show Himself real
has just been so powerful.
00:25:21.55\00:25:26.05
And learning how to
claim His promises has made
00:25:26.09\00:25:30.09
that even clearer for
me because it has given me
00:25:30.13\00:25:32.96
vivid opportunities
to see Him work for me
00:25:32.99\00:25:35.70
and see Him move.
00:25:35.73\00:25:37.07
So much of your life
was centered on self.
00:25:37.10\00:25:40.84
Do you now have
a different center?
00:25:40.87\00:25:43.71
Yes.
00:25:43.74\00:25:45.74
I mean, as you
were focused on self,
00:25:45.77\00:25:48.64
there's a lot of wandering
and meandering down the way.
00:25:48.68\00:25:51.55
But now is there a new center
and does He keep you on course?
00:25:51.58\00:25:54.58
Yes, there is a
stable centering point,
00:25:54.62\00:25:58.22
and that is my
daily time with my God.
00:25:58.25\00:26:04.16
And I realized very quickly,
if I don't have that time,
00:26:04.19\00:26:08.00
everything starts
to teeter and waver.
00:26:08.03\00:26:12.00
So my daily time with
the Lord and service for Him,
00:26:12.03\00:26:15.77
I think, is pivotal.
00:26:15.80\00:26:18.94
You know, He's
brought me into ministry,
00:26:18.97\00:26:21.34
He's given me a
work to do for Him.
00:26:21.38\00:26:23.51
And that has been
so necessary for me
00:26:23.55\00:26:27.82
not only to share Him
00:26:27.85\00:26:31.99
with other people but to
stay on the journey myself
00:26:32.02\00:26:35.59
and to keep growing in Him.
00:26:35.62\00:26:38.46
In the last
moment that we have here,
00:26:38.49\00:26:40.80
do you have a word of advice
for someone that is wanting
00:26:40.83\00:26:46.07
to find a way
out of the gay life
00:26:46.10\00:26:47.70
but may not know exactly
how to walk away from it?
00:26:47.74\00:26:51.97
I think the most pivotal
and important part is for us
00:26:52.01\00:26:55.34
to just
acknowledge that we need help.
00:26:55.38\00:26:57.61
Yes.
00:26:57.65\00:26:58.98
You know, my sister told
me that my mom told her friend
00:26:59.01\00:27:01.38
that she was praying
for me, and I got angry,
00:27:01.42\00:27:03.99
I said, "I'm not broken.
00:27:04.02\00:27:05.42
I don't need you
to fix me." Yeah.
00:27:05.45\00:27:07.29
Even though I saw
that my life was a mess,
00:27:07.32\00:27:09.26
and I think that we
just have to acknowledge
00:27:09.29\00:27:11.39
that we need
help and just believe
00:27:11.43\00:27:14.66
that Christ is able.
00:27:14.70\00:27:16.03
And He will do everything else.
Thank you so much, Danielle.
00:27:16.06\00:27:18.90
What a powerful testimony.
00:27:18.93\00:27:20.40
And, you know,
testimonies like yours and mine
00:27:20.44\00:27:22.50
and the others in our
group are quite often referred
00:27:22.54\00:27:25.91
to as extreme conversions.
00:27:25.94\00:27:28.94
But our extreme
conversions really just reveal
00:27:28.98\00:27:31.48
an extreme God,
His extreme love,
00:27:31.51\00:27:35.18
His extreme
compassion, His extreme patience
00:27:35.22\00:27:37.75
and mercy, and
His extreme power.
00:27:37.79\00:27:41.52
We want to thank you today
for tuning in to Pure Choices,
00:27:41.56\00:27:45.29
and we invite you to
join us again at another one
00:27:45.33\00:27:49.63
of the Pure
Choices programs upcoming.
00:27:49.66\00:27:53.17
Thank you, and God bless you.
00:27:53.20\00:27:54.60