The following program discusses sensitive issues. 00:00:01.46\00:00:04.07 Parents are cautioned that some material 00:00:04.10\00:00:05.97 may be too candid for younger children. 00:00:06.00\00:00:08.14 Hello there. 00:00:42.54\00:00:43.87 Welcome to our program Pure Choices. 00:00:43.91\00:00:46.41 This is actually our 100th episode. 00:00:46.44\00:00:49.94 We have a really great program for you today. 00:00:49.98\00:00:52.65 And we also have a very great panel. 00:00:52.68\00:00:55.32 Over here, we have my husband Xavier Morales. 00:00:55.35\00:00:59.02 On the couch, we have Mrs. Myesha Lawson. 00:00:59.05\00:01:01.92 Right beside, her husband, Mr. Timothy Lawson. 00:01:01.96\00:01:05.79 And also, Brother Jacques LaGuerre. 00:01:05.83\00:01:09.40 So before we jump into our topic for today, 00:01:09.43\00:01:11.90 let us pray. 00:01:11.93\00:01:14.17 Dear kind most heavenly Father, dear God, 00:01:14.20\00:01:16.24 I pray that you will be with us here as the panel, 00:01:16.27\00:01:18.67 and that you'll also be with the viewers at home 00:01:18.71\00:01:20.88 as we figure out what it is women need. 00:01:20.91\00:01:23.65 In Jesus' name. 00:01:23.68\00:01:25.01 Amen. Amen. 00:01:25.05\00:01:27.08 So the title for today's program is Search, 00:01:27.12\00:01:30.35 A Real Woman Is. 00:01:30.39\00:01:32.52 I think we all can agree 00:01:32.55\00:01:34.52 there has been truly a search among women 00:01:34.56\00:01:36.76 trying to figure out what it is that we're supposed to be, 00:01:36.79\00:01:39.53 what's our role, what is it that we need, 00:01:39.56\00:01:42.50 what really defines us as women. 00:01:42.53\00:01:44.87 And I think even men are 00:01:44.90\00:01:46.23 trying to figure out what is a good woman, 00:01:46.27\00:01:48.00 what is a real woman, who should I look for, 00:01:48.04\00:01:50.81 what should I be thinking about. 00:01:50.84\00:01:54.21 Just the other day, I was looking at a program, 00:01:54.24\00:01:59.18 and it was very, very crazy 00:01:59.21\00:02:02.28 as this gentleman was trying to explain the issue 00:02:02.32\00:02:06.59 with Lot's children and his daughters 00:02:06.62\00:02:09.96 and how they got him drunk. 00:02:09.99\00:02:12.73 And I was like, 00:02:12.76\00:02:14.10 "Okay, this might be like a really good sermon," 00:02:14.13\00:02:16.36 until he made an extreme twist and said, 00:02:16.40\00:02:19.73 "Well, daughters are supposed to marry their fathers." 00:02:19.77\00:02:23.71 And I was so in shock and said, "No, no, no. 00:02:23.74\00:02:28.58 What? 00:02:28.61\00:02:29.94 Are people really thinking this?" 00:02:29.98\00:02:31.71 And we think about so many different situations 00:02:31.75\00:02:33.88 of women in Asia 00:02:33.92\00:02:36.62 and how they're dealing with how they're treated 00:02:36.65\00:02:39.25 and trying to understand their self-worth. 00:02:39.29\00:02:41.72 So among you guys, 00:02:41.76\00:02:43.89 what do you think it is that women need? 00:02:43.93\00:02:49.66 Well, to me, women need... Well, what I need... 00:02:49.70\00:02:56.50 I always felt like I needed to be loved, you know. 00:02:56.54\00:03:00.98 In today's society, women are not getting that. 00:03:01.01\00:03:04.38 Or real love, you know, we get this counterfeit, 00:03:04.41\00:03:09.05 you know, in the world 00:03:09.08\00:03:10.42 or thinking that we can be loved by men 00:03:10.45\00:03:14.82 or, you know, other people, 00:03:14.86\00:03:17.26 but the real love comes from God. 00:03:17.29\00:03:22.16 It's interesting. 00:03:22.20\00:03:24.57 You know, in society, women are the nurturers, 00:03:24.60\00:03:28.10 you know, as it were. 00:03:28.14\00:03:29.47 But, you know, in all actuality women themselves need to be, 00:03:29.50\00:03:33.58 you know, strengthened and nurtured. 00:03:33.61\00:03:35.71 You always hear the comparison 00:03:35.74\00:03:40.35 to women or girls being like flowers, 00:03:40.38\00:03:42.88 I guess you could say... 00:03:42.92\00:03:44.25 Delicate flowers. Delicate flowers. 00:03:44.29\00:03:45.72 And, you know, a flower needs to be watered 00:03:45.75\00:03:47.79 and cared for in a certain kind of way. 00:03:47.82\00:03:53.50 Jacques, you want to say something? 00:03:53.53\00:03:56.16 Well, me being single, I'm still learning. 00:03:56.20\00:04:01.30 I'm still learning exactly what women need. 00:04:01.34\00:04:05.11 But from all the reading I've done on the subject 00:04:05.14\00:04:08.34 and just talking with people, women need love 00:04:08.38\00:04:11.85 and women need to feel like they belong 00:04:11.88\00:04:14.25 and that they're loved for who they are, 00:04:14.28\00:04:16.52 not because of who you're trying to make them. 00:04:16.55\00:04:18.72 To be accepted. Also, women need to be... 00:04:18.75\00:04:23.06 They need to feel they're assured and protected. 00:04:23.09\00:04:25.99 Can anybody else speak a little bit about that? 00:04:26.03\00:04:28.53 Well, I think, you know, 00:04:28.56\00:04:29.90 women often want to find that security, 00:04:29.93\00:04:32.80 and nowadays, especially, 00:04:32.83\00:04:34.84 you don't have a lot of fathers in the home. 00:04:34.87\00:04:36.40 You know, you have a lot of fatherless... 00:04:36.44\00:04:37.81 And that's crucial to the development of a girl 00:04:37.84\00:04:42.01 into womanhood, it's crucial to have that, 00:04:42.04\00:04:44.55 you know, that strong male role model. 00:04:44.58\00:04:46.65 And, you know, women like to feel that protection, 00:04:46.68\00:04:49.85 like to feel that, 00:04:49.88\00:04:51.22 you know, even though they're strong, independent, 00:04:51.25\00:04:53.22 you know, they're able to do what they need to do. 00:04:53.25\00:04:56.06 They also want to make sure that, 00:04:56.09\00:04:57.43 you know, they have a good support, 00:04:57.46\00:04:58.79 that protection, that validation 00:04:58.83\00:05:00.53 with them as well. 00:05:00.56\00:05:02.03 Yeah, I think every woman 00:05:02.06\00:05:03.40 wants to be able to walk down the street 00:05:03.43\00:05:04.77 and know that nothing is going to happen to her. 00:05:04.80\00:05:06.74 Exactly. How about women... 00:05:06.77\00:05:08.80 'Cause a woman needs to feel safe. 00:05:08.84\00:05:10.94 She needs to feel safe in herself, 00:05:10.97\00:05:13.17 feel safe in her home, in her family, in her church. 00:05:13.21\00:05:17.95 She has to feel safe in all these different avenues. 00:05:17.98\00:05:20.75 I would also say a woman possibly 00:05:20.78\00:05:22.95 also needs to be humble. 00:05:22.98\00:05:24.62 Oh, yes. Most definitely. Oh, yes. Most definitely. 00:05:24.65\00:05:27.66 I'm growing in grace. Pray for me. 00:05:31.79\00:05:33.93 Lord is great. Pray for me. 00:05:33.96\00:05:35.56 Okay. Yes, most definitely. 00:05:35.60\00:05:38.13 I believe that a woman should be humble, 00:05:38.17\00:05:40.04 especially when she has to be a wife and a mother. 00:05:40.07\00:05:46.17 Not only she may have duties in the church, 00:05:46.21\00:05:50.35 as well as, you know, she might have a business of her own, 00:05:50.38\00:05:54.55 a ministry and, you know, 00:05:54.58\00:05:57.05 she's going to play different parts of her... 00:05:57.09\00:05:59.45 You know, she's going to have, you know... 00:05:59.49\00:06:02.02 She's gonna play different roles in her life. 00:06:02.06\00:06:04.59 And so, yes, most definitely, 00:06:04.63\00:06:05.96 she needs patience and she needs to be humble, 00:06:05.99\00:06:09.10 especially with her husband. 00:06:09.13\00:06:12.50 Amen. 00:06:12.53\00:06:14.20 You know, it's interesting. 00:06:14.24\00:06:15.57 And, you know, 00:06:15.60\00:06:16.94 we might keep bringing up this topic as it goes on. 00:06:16.97\00:06:18.71 But ever since, you know, 00:06:18.74\00:06:20.08 the '50s and '60s with the feminist movement, 00:06:20.11\00:06:22.41 it's almost been like women have been taught 00:06:22.44\00:06:24.71 that humility is a weakness. 00:06:24.75\00:06:27.48 You know, American culture, in general, 00:06:27.52\00:06:29.35 it doesn't place a high value on humility 00:06:29.38\00:06:31.95 on a man or a woman. 00:06:31.99\00:06:33.66 But, you know, the Bible says, a meek and quiet spirit, 00:06:33.69\00:06:36.99 you know, is kind of worth all the treasures in the world. 00:06:37.03\00:06:40.63 And so, you know, having that aspect instilled in women, 00:06:40.66\00:06:45.27 they're mostly taught, 00:06:45.30\00:06:46.67 you know, strength or intelligence 00:06:46.70\00:06:48.84 but not to be humbled and graceful. 00:06:48.87\00:06:52.84 And I think that is a very high commodity. 00:06:52.87\00:06:54.58 Yeah. 00:06:54.61\00:06:55.94 You know, I think too that lack of being taught 00:06:55.98\00:06:58.35 to have that humility has affected their image, 00:06:58.38\00:07:01.58 has affected the way they relate to other women, 00:07:01.62\00:07:04.42 it has affected the way they dress 00:07:04.45\00:07:07.19 because society says, you know, humility would dictate, 00:07:07.22\00:07:10.63 you know, the way you dress, 00:07:10.66\00:07:11.99 you know, versus the society says, 00:07:12.03\00:07:13.96 "The more you expose, 00:07:14.00\00:07:15.33 the stronger of a woman you are, 00:07:15.36\00:07:17.37 the better looking you are. 00:07:17.40\00:07:18.73 The more plastic pieces you have on your body, 00:07:18.77\00:07:22.84 the better, the stronger of a woman you are." 00:07:22.87\00:07:26.27 Humility is a rare commodity. 00:07:26.31\00:07:28.34 It's almost an anomaly in today's society. 00:07:28.38\00:07:31.51 And as you just talked about, 00:07:31.55\00:07:33.05 women are probably changing their bodies. 00:07:33.08\00:07:35.32 They need to know their self-worth. 00:07:35.35\00:07:36.69 Yes, most definitely. 00:07:36.72\00:07:38.05 And also need to know that they're accepted by Christ, 00:07:38.09\00:07:41.82 that they're loved by Christ, they need Jesus Christ. 00:07:41.86\00:07:44.53 That should have been the first statement. 00:07:44.56\00:07:45.89 Yeah. They need Jesus. 00:07:45.93\00:07:48.16 And they need to know their standards 00:07:48.20\00:07:50.33 and not to have them so low 00:07:50.37\00:07:53.03 that it diminishes their self-worth. 00:07:53.07\00:07:55.70 Anybody else has something to say? 00:07:55.74\00:07:57.07 Yeah, I think 00:07:57.11\00:07:58.67 to piggyback a little bit off what you're saying, 00:07:58.71\00:08:00.54 one of the main things is that they need to know 00:08:00.58\00:08:03.81 that they don't have to listen to everybody else 00:08:03.85\00:08:07.38 to find out who they need to be. 00:08:07.42\00:08:09.18 Like you said, they can go to Jesus. 00:08:09.22\00:08:11.25 Magazines tell them they need to wear this, 00:08:11.29\00:08:13.59 dress like this, look like this, 00:08:13.62\00:08:15.46 and then the images on the magazine 00:08:15.49\00:08:16.83 are fake and Photoshopped in the first place. 00:08:16.86\00:08:19.49 And then, you know, television society, 00:08:19.53\00:08:21.30 like he was saying, is more power 00:08:21.33\00:08:22.96 if you be like this and women need to have that, 00:08:23.00\00:08:25.60 you said self-worth and confidence 00:08:25.63\00:08:27.60 in themselves that, 00:08:27.64\00:08:29.60 you know, from their family circle, 00:08:29.64\00:08:31.01 from their church family circle, 00:08:31.04\00:08:32.57 and also from the Bible, they can find out who they are 00:08:32.61\00:08:35.94 and walk in what God has ordained them to do. 00:08:35.98\00:08:38.61 And, Jacques, got something else to say? 00:08:38.65\00:08:39.98 To piggyback on self-worth and what Tim was saying, 00:08:40.02\00:08:42.62 just last week, I preached a sermon entitled, 00:08:42.65\00:08:45.62 "The Cross and Two Marys." 00:08:45.65\00:08:47.82 And I was talking with a lot of young women 00:08:47.86\00:08:50.96 about how they could find their self-worth at the cross 00:08:50.99\00:08:53.80 and how Jesus himself, 00:08:53.83\00:08:55.60 while He was dying on the cross, 00:08:55.63\00:08:56.97 He was worried about two things, 00:08:57.00\00:08:58.83 He was worried about the salvation of the thief 00:08:58.87\00:09:01.90 and He was worried about His mother 00:09:01.94\00:09:03.27 and who would take care of her. 00:09:03.30\00:09:05.04 And then after He rose again, 00:09:05.07\00:09:07.14 the first person to see Him on that Sunday morning 00:09:07.18\00:09:09.81 was Mary Magdalene, 00:09:09.84\00:09:11.18 the woman caught in the act of adultery. 00:09:11.21\00:09:13.05 And so at the cross, on both sides of the cross, 00:09:13.08\00:09:16.65 you see Christ placing a high value on women. 00:09:16.69\00:09:19.12 And so women need to be able to go to the cross 00:09:19.15\00:09:22.12 and not to the magazine covers 00:09:22.16\00:09:23.59 and not to the music videos and not to the TV shows. 00:09:23.63\00:09:26.66 And once they get their self-worth there, 00:09:26.70\00:09:28.66 everything else will fall into place. 00:09:28.70\00:09:30.10 Amen. Amen. 00:09:30.13\00:09:32.13 So when it comes to a woman's calling in life, 00:09:32.17\00:09:35.10 I have heard three very different 00:09:35.14\00:09:38.07 controversial kind of statements. 00:09:38.11\00:09:40.01 All right. 00:09:40.04\00:09:41.38 The first one is "All a woman needs 00:09:41.41\00:09:44.25 is a husband and some kids. 00:09:44.28\00:09:48.02 It's best for the family if she's at home, 00:09:48.05\00:09:51.15 and that is where she belongs." 00:09:51.19\00:09:55.16 Well, well, well. 00:09:55.19\00:09:56.52 I think, with that, 00:09:56.56\00:09:57.89 I think, you know, growing up in the Caribbean, 00:09:57.93\00:10:00.93 you know, you have a lot of patriarchal, 00:10:00.96\00:10:03.00 big patriarchal family and you tend to see that. 00:10:03.03\00:10:07.24 You know, that's predominately 00:10:07.27\00:10:08.60 what I grew up around where the woman 00:10:08.64\00:10:09.97 is to stay at home, cook, and clean. 00:10:10.01\00:10:12.17 However, my immediate family, the nucleus, 00:10:12.21\00:10:15.34 with my mom and dad, it was always shared, 00:10:15.38\00:10:18.61 you know, I was always... 00:10:18.65\00:10:20.12 It wasn't anyone's rule. I remember my mom... 00:10:20.15\00:10:22.72 If my dad ever told my mother just say, 00:10:22.75\00:10:24.69 "Cook me a meal and clean," 00:10:24.72\00:10:26.42 I don't think my dad would be around right now. 00:10:26.45\00:10:29.52 You know, you have to understand that, 00:10:29.56\00:10:31.73 in Jesus, there is no hierarchy. 00:10:31.76\00:10:34.83 It's equality, everybody has to rule. 00:10:34.86\00:10:37.67 But at the same time, 00:10:37.70\00:10:39.03 no rule is greater than another. 00:10:39.07\00:10:41.17 I think it's crazy because even in our churches 00:10:41.20\00:10:44.14 some women do always ask, 00:10:44.17\00:10:45.57 "So when are you getting married? 00:10:45.61\00:10:47.41 When are you getting married? When are you get married? 00:10:47.44\00:10:49.28 When are you gonna have some kids?" 00:10:49.31\00:10:50.91 It's like your life is not complete unless you have... 00:10:50.95\00:10:54.08 unless every single woman in this world 00:10:54.12\00:10:56.25 has a husband and kids. 00:10:56.28\00:10:58.65 Yeah. 00:10:58.69\00:11:00.02 I think that the woman should find out what she wants to do. 00:11:00.06\00:11:06.33 You know, some women don't want kids, 00:11:06.36\00:11:09.23 some women don't want to be married, 00:11:09.26\00:11:10.77 some women just want to focus on the ministry. 00:11:10.80\00:11:14.57 As for me, personally, 00:11:14.60\00:11:16.10 I didn't know how great it would be 00:11:16.14\00:11:17.81 to just be a wife and a mother fulltime. 00:11:17.84\00:11:23.01 I've tried going out working in... 00:11:23.04\00:11:25.08 you know, being in the working field, 00:11:25.11\00:11:26.68 and it just wasn't for me. 00:11:26.72\00:11:28.85 You know, I love being with my children 00:11:28.88\00:11:32.62 and doing my domestic duties at home, 00:11:32.65\00:11:36.16 being able to, you know, cook and clean. 00:11:36.19\00:11:38.86 I mean, that's therapy for me, you know, 00:11:38.89\00:11:41.93 knowing that while my husband is out working 00:11:41.96\00:11:45.67 and bringing home the meat, not literally... 00:11:45.70\00:11:49.44 Veggies. 00:11:49.47\00:11:50.81 He can come home to a loving wife, 00:11:50.84\00:11:54.28 his children are taken care of, 00:11:54.31\00:11:56.58 he's coming home to a cooked meal 00:11:56.61\00:11:59.28 and a clean home. 00:11:59.31\00:12:00.65 He can come home, you know, the home should be pleasant, 00:12:00.68\00:12:04.95 you know, it should be heaven on earth. 00:12:04.99\00:12:10.83 Another, I guess you can say, is a controversial statement 00:12:10.86\00:12:14.70 is when like a lot of people say, 00:12:14.73\00:12:16.83 "All women, what they need is a career. 00:12:16.87\00:12:21.04 They can be the father and the man 00:12:21.07\00:12:24.77 and all what they really need is, 00:12:24.81\00:12:26.94 you know, just to be single and great 00:12:26.98\00:12:29.14 because who needs a man anyway." 00:12:29.18\00:12:32.75 You know, going back again to, 00:12:32.78\00:12:37.42 you know, the old movements 00:12:37.45\00:12:38.79 that have told women these things, 00:12:38.82\00:12:40.39 you know, you just presented the two extremes 00:12:40.42\00:12:42.29 that only thing you're supposed to do 00:12:42.32\00:12:44.69 is stay home and raise kids and you can't do anything else 00:12:44.73\00:12:47.20 and only thing you're supposed to do is get a career 00:12:47.23\00:12:50.13 because staying home and raising kids 00:12:50.17\00:12:51.77 is taboo and whack. 00:12:51.80\00:12:53.90 And I like what somebody 00:12:53.94\00:12:56.37 just said that woman should go to God 00:12:56.40\00:12:58.67 to find out what she needs 00:12:58.71\00:13:00.71 and what she's supposed to do at a particular time in life. 00:13:00.74\00:13:04.05 You know, there have been women that have raised families 00:13:04.08\00:13:07.42 and then they went to school, they've been women 00:13:07.45\00:13:09.12 that have went to school and then raised families. 00:13:09.15\00:13:11.29 And I love the example of, you know, the writer 00:13:11.32\00:13:15.22 of the Spirit of Prophecy, Ellen White, 00:13:15.26\00:13:16.83 who had a husband and had a kid and had a home 00:13:16.86\00:13:20.46 and still did her prophetic ministry 00:13:20.50\00:13:23.30 that God had called her to do. 00:13:23.33\00:13:25.73 And the emphasis on the one that God had called her to do 00:13:25.77\00:13:28.37 and the Lord is going to make a way 00:13:28.40\00:13:31.81 for you to do the work He's called you to do. 00:13:31.84\00:13:34.81 And when the children are being raised, 00:13:34.84\00:13:38.41 there needs to be somebody there 00:13:38.45\00:13:40.02 to raise them and nurture them, 00:13:40.05\00:13:41.82 and it's a very important part of society 00:13:41.85\00:13:44.25 which is not around right now, 00:13:44.29\00:13:47.16 and it's the reason why children are so delinquent 00:13:47.19\00:13:50.39 and different things are happening in society 00:13:50.43\00:13:53.16 because Satan has tried to destroy that home structure. 00:13:53.19\00:13:56.23 But I think Christ wants to renew it 00:13:56.26\00:13:57.87 and present it in beauty without imbalance. 00:13:57.90\00:14:02.97 And I think this whole... 00:14:03.00\00:14:04.44 the two extremes, like you were saying, 00:14:04.47\00:14:06.68 exists because of abuses from the past. 00:14:06.71\00:14:10.28 You know, there are many people, 00:14:10.31\00:14:11.75 like let's say a young girl, 00:14:11.78\00:14:14.55 she watches her mother cooking like a full meal 00:14:14.58\00:14:18.25 and then the father comes home and he doesn't eat the food 00:14:18.29\00:14:21.39 because he felt like going out 00:14:21.42\00:14:23.69 to get pizza or something like that. 00:14:23.73\00:14:25.86 That little girl, looking at that, 00:14:25.89\00:14:27.33 will now think in her mind, 00:14:27.36\00:14:28.83 well, if I do domestic duties, then I won't be appreciated, 00:14:28.86\00:14:33.50 I won't be loved, and I won't be cherished. 00:14:33.54\00:14:35.64 And so a lot of women, 00:14:35.67\00:14:37.37 they've gone to this extreme of, 00:14:37.41\00:14:39.91 "It is beneath me to raise children, 00:14:39.94\00:14:42.34 it is beneath me to cook 00:14:42.38\00:14:43.95 because they've seen it taken advantage of." 00:14:43.98\00:14:48.12 Wow. Xavier? 00:14:48.15\00:14:50.69 I mean, that is just, like, they said it better than... 00:14:50.72\00:14:54.16 You know, Tim and everybody said it best, you know. 00:14:54.19\00:14:56.46 You don't see that nowadays, 00:14:56.49\00:14:57.83 you don't see women raising children. 00:14:57.86\00:15:00.16 I mean, yeah, given that in the society we live in, 00:15:00.20\00:15:02.76 a lot of times, it's almost a requirement 00:15:02.80\00:15:05.53 for a man and a woman to be in the working field, 00:15:05.57\00:15:09.54 but at the same time though, 00:15:09.57\00:15:11.01 you know, I can't avoid but saying Jesus in this 00:15:11.04\00:15:16.75 because He provides a perfect balance, you know. 00:15:16.78\00:15:20.18 There's nothing wrong with a woman 00:15:20.22\00:15:21.68 being in the working field, there's nothing wrong with, 00:15:21.72\00:15:24.32 you know, we see a lot of times the rules are reversed now 00:15:24.35\00:15:26.62 where the man stays home and takes care of the kids. 00:15:26.65\00:15:29.16 But I think there needs to be an equal playing field, 00:15:29.19\00:15:32.33 you know, for example, females in ministry, 00:15:32.36\00:15:35.60 you know, you have a lot of that now 00:15:35.63\00:15:36.97 where women want to be pastors, they're called to be pastors. 00:15:37.00\00:15:41.17 And you have a lot of men intimidated by that, you know. 00:15:41.20\00:15:44.47 And it's not, you know... 00:15:44.51\00:15:46.64 You have to be supportive, like, 00:15:46.68\00:15:48.14 you know, my wife in ministry, 00:15:48.18\00:15:50.21 I'm very supportive of who she is 00:15:50.25\00:15:51.81 and what she wants to do, what she is called to do. 00:15:51.85\00:15:54.22 And I think we need to really, really hone down 00:15:54.25\00:15:56.79 and really latch onto Jesus now more than ever 00:15:56.82\00:16:00.16 when it comes to understanding the role 00:16:00.19\00:16:03.22 that a woman plays in a man's life. 00:16:03.26\00:16:08.20 So across the board, for all women, 00:16:08.23\00:16:10.03 whether they are a wife, whether they are a mother, 00:16:10.07\00:16:13.57 whether they're just a single woman, 00:16:13.60\00:16:15.67 what is their calling? 00:16:15.70\00:16:19.37 Well, as for a mother, their calling is to, 00:16:19.41\00:16:26.11 you know, worry about their children 00:16:26.15\00:16:28.08 and preparing them for, you know, the kingdom. 00:16:28.12\00:16:34.02 You know, they say that... 00:16:34.06\00:16:35.76 Well, Ellen White says that 00:16:35.79\00:16:37.53 we're supposed to teach our children obedience. 00:16:37.56\00:16:40.30 That is the first teaching. 00:16:40.33\00:16:42.66 And when we do that, we're teaching... 00:16:42.70\00:16:45.47 If they can obey the parents, they can obey God. 00:16:45.50\00:16:49.57 So I believe that, as a woman, a mother, 00:16:49.60\00:16:52.97 even if she's a single mother, 00:16:53.01\00:16:56.34 her job is to fit her kids for the kingdom. 00:16:56.38\00:17:01.45 I think, as you gain more responsibilities, 00:17:01.48\00:17:05.52 your role will change. 00:17:05.55\00:17:07.76 A wife with no kids 00:17:07.79\00:17:09.12 is probably different than a wife with kids. 00:17:09.16\00:17:10.66 A single woman with no family, 00:17:10.69\00:17:12.59 I'm sure, her life is different 00:17:12.63\00:17:14.86 than a woman who is married and vice versa. 00:17:14.90\00:17:17.20 But I think the ultimate goal of a woman, a Christian woman, 00:17:17.23\00:17:21.44 regardless of any stage in her life 00:17:21.47\00:17:23.20 is to reflect the image of Jesus. 00:17:23.24\00:17:25.31 You know, if you go back to the Bible, 00:17:25.34\00:17:26.98 that's the original goal and the original tenet of man. 00:17:27.01\00:17:29.78 And if that is her goal to reflect the image of Jesus, 00:17:29.81\00:17:33.21 then when she goes to him, all her other "roles" 00:17:33.25\00:17:37.35 are going to fall into place and fall into line 00:17:37.39\00:17:40.06 and no matter what she thinks she has 00:17:40.09\00:17:42.32 or hasn't been called to do, she's going to submit to, 00:17:42.36\00:17:45.39 you know, the one who is altogether lovely 00:17:45.43\00:17:47.30 and follow His way instead of her plans. 00:17:47.33\00:17:50.63 I think, the Bible says, you know, 00:17:50.67\00:17:53.60 God created woman to be a helpmeet, 00:17:53.64\00:17:56.07 but a lot of times, 00:17:56.10\00:17:58.11 we confuse that with the scripture that says, 00:17:58.14\00:18:00.81 you know, I'll make your enemies my footstool. 00:18:00.84\00:18:02.18 And a lot of times, 00:18:02.21\00:18:03.55 we treat women as though they're footstools. 00:18:03.58\00:18:05.81 And they're not, they're helpmeets. 00:18:05.85\00:18:07.65 You know, they're supposed to be... 00:18:07.68\00:18:09.02 We're supposed to be a team mate, you know. 00:18:09.05\00:18:10.95 We're a team, we're not, you know, 00:18:10.99\00:18:13.72 at odds against each other, we're a team. 00:18:13.76\00:18:15.49 And I think, you know, in any field, 00:18:15.52\00:18:18.66 in any career, any calling, 00:18:18.69\00:18:20.13 whether you're single or you're married, 00:18:20.16\00:18:23.40 you know, you're called to be a helper. 00:18:23.43\00:18:26.80 You know, you should be proud of yourself for being born, 00:18:26.84\00:18:31.24 for being created by God 00:18:31.27\00:18:33.34 because He created you with a special purpose to be a help, 00:18:33.38\00:18:36.54 not a hindrance, not an oppression, 00:18:36.58\00:18:38.35 not an anchor, but a help. 00:18:38.38\00:18:40.32 And I think too, you know, that plays a role in 00:18:40.35\00:18:44.65 who you become as well, understanding that, 00:18:44.69\00:18:46.86 you know, you're a helpmeet 00:18:46.89\00:18:48.52 and that is one of the primary callings 00:18:48.56\00:18:50.99 for a woman to be a helper, 00:18:51.03\00:18:52.36 to help, to be part of something greater 00:18:52.39\00:18:54.86 beyond herself. 00:18:54.90\00:18:56.63 And I would also add to what Tim was saying, 00:18:56.67\00:19:00.40 a woman, across the board, her calling is to love 00:19:00.44\00:19:03.47 and to serve God with her whole heart, 00:19:03.51\00:19:05.97 to reflect His image, 00:19:06.01\00:19:07.64 to move forward into whatever it is 00:19:07.68\00:19:10.35 He has created her to do. 00:19:10.38\00:19:12.91 And each woman is different, and that's why each woman 00:19:12.95\00:19:15.15 has to have their own relationship with Christ. 00:19:15.18\00:19:18.75 It cannot be based on... 00:19:18.79\00:19:20.79 I cannot base my journey on Myesha. 00:19:20.82\00:19:25.19 She has her own relationship with Christ. 00:19:25.23\00:19:27.56 I have my own relationship with Christ. 00:19:27.60\00:19:29.46 And He is the one that lets me know how should I move forward. 00:19:29.50\00:19:33.30 So another question is, 00:19:33.34\00:19:35.80 "What do married women need?" 00:19:35.84\00:19:38.97 A meek and quiet spirit. 00:19:43.08\00:19:47.32 You know, married women, 00:19:47.35\00:19:49.92 they need a husband 00:19:49.95\00:19:54.99 who is not oppressive, 00:19:55.02\00:19:57.76 who is not overbearing but, like the Bible says, 00:19:57.79\00:20:01.13 loves his wife like his own body 00:20:01.16\00:20:02.86 and cherishes her, and brings her... 00:20:02.90\00:20:06.70 and nurtures her and brings her up. 00:20:06.74\00:20:09.94 I think they also need a man 00:20:09.97\00:20:12.47 that's going to be there to love them, you know. 00:20:12.51\00:20:16.08 In marriage, a lot of times, love is taken for granted 00:20:16.11\00:20:19.51 because you are married, 00:20:19.55\00:20:20.88 because you guys have committed your life, 00:20:20.92\00:20:22.48 there is no intention on showing that love. 00:20:22.52\00:20:26.29 And you have to be very intentional 00:20:26.32\00:20:28.72 about showing that love 00:20:28.76\00:20:30.09 and understanding the love language of your wife 00:20:30.13\00:20:31.89 because you might be showing love in your own way 00:20:31.93\00:20:34.26 but you need to show it in the way 00:20:34.30\00:20:35.63 she receives it the best. 00:20:35.66\00:20:39.10 Very good. 00:20:39.13\00:20:40.47 I'd also add, married women desperately, 00:20:40.50\00:20:42.90 desperately need their husbands to be the priest of the home. 00:20:42.94\00:20:46.88 He has to be the priest of the home, 00:20:46.91\00:20:49.68 not he just comes in and says, "I'm the man" 00:20:49.71\00:20:52.61 but he really calls her and says, "Honey, let's pray. 00:20:52.65\00:20:55.38 Looks like you're stressed right now." 00:20:55.42\00:20:57.39 He opens up the Word and he says, 00:20:57.42\00:20:59.15 "Let's read the scripture." 00:20:59.19\00:21:00.52 Says, "Let's do a little Bible study together." 00:21:00.56\00:21:02.39 He draws her closer and closer to Christ 00:21:02.42\00:21:04.93 because of who he is. 00:21:04.96\00:21:07.43 I think too, you know, 00:21:07.46\00:21:09.46 reminded me of the Book of Proverbs, 00:21:09.50\00:21:10.83 that infamous proverbial woman, but with all that, 00:21:10.87\00:21:14.90 I think one verse is towards the end where, 00:21:14.94\00:21:17.51 you know, she needs a husband 00:21:17.54\00:21:20.08 that will praise her at the city gates, 00:21:20.11\00:21:22.64 you know, that would be proud of who she is. 00:21:22.68\00:21:25.71 Ephesians, you know, she needs a husband 00:21:25.75\00:21:28.58 that's going to be able to present her before Christ, 00:21:28.62\00:21:31.75 blameless, spotless, without blemish, 00:21:31.79\00:21:35.32 you know, or just purified by the blood of Christ. 00:21:35.36\00:21:38.26 And that's where you say, 00:21:38.29\00:21:39.79 you know, the priest of the home, 00:21:39.83\00:21:41.76 it's very critical, you know, that a woman 00:21:41.80\00:21:43.93 has that spiritual support system in the home 00:21:43.97\00:21:47.57 because spiritual support system 00:21:47.60\00:21:49.30 equates to emotional, psychological, 00:21:49.34\00:21:52.07 you know, it's a holistic... 00:21:52.11\00:21:53.44 When you have a spiritual support system, 00:21:53.48\00:21:54.81 it provides a holistic support 00:21:54.84\00:21:56.64 that the woman desperately needs. 00:21:56.68\00:21:58.01 And I think, you know, a lot of us men, 00:21:58.05\00:22:02.45 we try our best and we continue to try, 00:22:02.48\00:22:04.55 you know, and that's a struggle. 00:22:04.59\00:22:08.02 I think that's like, you know, it's just key and crucial 00:22:08.06\00:22:11.49 for the man to understand what a woman needs, 00:22:11.53\00:22:14.50 a man to understand his role in the home as the priest, 00:22:14.53\00:22:18.13 as the one that... 00:22:18.17\00:22:20.80 A woman's supposed to be spiritual 00:22:20.84\00:22:22.17 and have her own relationship with Christ. 00:22:22.20\00:22:23.54 But as that union's come together, 00:22:23.57\00:22:25.67 it's his primary role to lead that family 00:22:25.71\00:22:28.91 to the most holy place into the presence of Jesus. 00:22:28.94\00:22:31.68 And it's extra, 00:22:31.71\00:22:33.05 you know, a woman who knows she has a man like that, 00:22:33.08\00:22:35.78 she knows that if there's anything wrong, 00:22:35.82\00:22:37.75 she can go on her knees and pray to the Lord, 00:22:37.79\00:22:39.65 "Lord, you need to help your son 00:22:39.69\00:22:41.42 or I help him with something else." 00:22:41.46\00:22:42.92 Fix it. 00:22:42.96\00:22:44.29 And she knows that either later on that night 00:22:44.33\00:22:47.76 or at least that morning, he's going to go talk to Jesus, 00:22:47.80\00:22:51.43 you know, and Jesus is going to tell him 00:22:51.47\00:22:53.94 the things that need to happen to keep the home safe, 00:22:53.97\00:22:56.91 and he's the spiritual leader in the home 00:22:56.94\00:22:59.91 and the same in the church. 00:22:59.94\00:23:01.28 And men need to stand up 00:23:01.31\00:23:02.64 and start being spiritual leaders 00:23:02.68\00:23:04.55 and guide the church into the haven 00:23:04.58\00:23:08.48 that God is called to lead them in. 00:23:08.52\00:23:10.29 So, so true. 00:23:10.32\00:23:11.65 And as we move forward a little bit more, 00:23:11.69\00:23:13.59 what women need spiritually, 00:23:13.62\00:23:15.82 they need to be able to go to God honestly 00:23:15.86\00:23:18.83 with whatever is on their heart. 00:23:18.86\00:23:21.20 Realize that you can go to God with whatever is on your heart. 00:23:21.23\00:23:25.57 And if your husband is acting crazy, 00:23:25.60\00:23:27.97 you can say, "Lord, fix your child. 00:23:28.00\00:23:30.91 I've done it before." 00:23:30.94\00:23:32.27 And the next morning, he's like, I just spoke to God 00:23:32.31\00:23:35.14 and he told me this, 00:23:35.18\00:23:36.51 and you're like, "Thank you, Jesus. 00:23:36.54\00:23:37.88 Thank you for fixing your child." 00:23:37.91\00:23:39.75 But honestly, on a serious note, 00:23:39.78\00:23:41.75 you can go to God with whatever is bothering you. 00:23:41.78\00:23:45.35 And women need to understand that spiritually, 00:23:45.39\00:23:48.82 and they also need renewal 00:23:48.86\00:23:50.43 because we go through so much crazy things 00:23:50.46\00:23:52.23 throughout the course of the day, 00:23:52.26\00:23:53.60 even as a single woman, 00:23:53.63\00:23:54.96 as a married woman, as a mother, 00:23:55.00\00:23:56.33 you go through so many different things. 00:23:56.36\00:23:59.03 And spiritually, you want that renewal, 00:23:59.07\00:24:01.74 you want to be able to read the Bible 00:24:01.77\00:24:04.77 and feel refreshed that you can be 00:24:04.81\00:24:06.17 able to just push forward just a little bit more. 00:24:06.21\00:24:08.54 Amen. Little bit more. 00:24:08.58\00:24:10.48 If I can say one thing about women going to God 00:24:10.51\00:24:13.35 and baring all, a lot of times 00:24:13.38\00:24:15.62 and especially in a lot of movies in society, 00:24:15.65\00:24:18.02 I think women are taught 00:24:18.05\00:24:19.39 that they're supposed to unburden all their problems to, 00:24:19.42\00:24:22.39 you know, maybe another woman or vent 00:24:22.42\00:24:25.19 or, you know, get it out, speaking to somebody that way, 00:24:25.23\00:24:28.00 but their problem really doesn't get solved. 00:24:28.03\00:24:30.40 But when they go to Jesus, it's always a transaction. 00:24:30.43\00:24:33.80 You give him the burdens, 00:24:33.84\00:24:35.17 He gives you the peace, you know. 00:24:35.20\00:24:36.54 You give Him your sin, 00:24:36.57\00:24:37.91 He gives you your righteousness. 00:24:37.94\00:24:39.34 And that renewal you were talking about, 00:24:39.37\00:24:41.54 that they can find 00:24:41.58\00:24:42.91 and know that they have a best friend in Jesus as well. 00:24:42.94\00:24:45.51 Good, good, good. 00:24:45.55\00:24:47.28 So to focus in a little bit on the different types of women, 00:24:47.32\00:24:51.19 in my mind, there's three main types. 00:24:51.22\00:24:52.82 You have a mother, you have a married woman, 00:24:52.85\00:24:57.19 and you have a single woman. 00:24:57.23\00:24:59.56 And for each one, let's go... Let's start first with mother. 00:24:59.59\00:25:02.63 What is a mother's role? Most important role. 00:25:02.66\00:25:08.07 Go ahead, go ahead. I know you got something. 00:25:08.10\00:25:11.27 The most important role as a mother, 00:25:11.31\00:25:15.94 like I said before, is to train up a child, 00:25:15.98\00:25:20.28 you know, train up her child for a higher being like, 00:25:20.32\00:25:23.75 you know, to, like I said, get fit for the kingdom. 00:25:23.79\00:25:26.92 That is the mother's role, to teach and love her children. 00:25:26.96\00:25:32.23 And, you know, to... You know, to... 00:25:32.26\00:25:37.77 Basically, she has precious moments, 00:25:37.80\00:25:41.24 you know, she needs to know 00:25:41.27\00:25:43.64 and know that it's a privilege to even be a mother, 00:25:43.67\00:25:47.18 you know, that it's a gift from God, 00:25:47.21\00:25:49.28 that God gave her something that is so important 00:25:49.31\00:25:52.95 and treasured to Him, that He gave it to us 00:25:52.98\00:25:55.65 to do what we're supposed to do, 00:25:55.68\00:25:57.99 what He called mothers to do. 00:25:58.02\00:26:02.06 And I think another role of mothers is to raise warriors. 00:26:02.09\00:26:07.33 You know, behind every great man in the Bible 00:26:07.36\00:26:09.33 and behind every great man currently, 00:26:09.36\00:26:11.53 there was a mother that was there to raise him. 00:26:11.57\00:26:13.94 Moses did not raise himself. Elijah did not raise himself. 00:26:13.97\00:26:17.97 Jesus did not raise Himself. 00:26:18.01\00:26:20.74 You had a woman there who was willing to sacrifice 00:26:20.78\00:26:25.21 and to give her time and to give her love 00:26:25.25\00:26:27.15 and to give her energy to invest in a warrior. 00:26:27.18\00:26:29.72 And I think that's such a high calling that women have. 00:26:29.75\00:26:33.02 And also, as mothers, they need to feel validated. 00:26:33.05\00:26:36.32 And as I go into a wife, 00:26:36.36\00:26:39.06 her role is to be her husband's equal, 00:26:39.09\00:26:41.36 to respect him, and in return, 00:26:41.40\00:26:44.40 her husband needs to show her appreciation, 00:26:44.43\00:26:47.30 to care for her, 00:26:47.34\00:26:49.34 and to let her know that everything 00:26:49.37\00:26:50.71 that she does throughout the day is not in vain. 00:26:50.74\00:26:53.58 And as a single woman, 00:26:53.61\00:26:57.25 she needs to be focused on her relationship with God 00:26:57.28\00:27:01.28 in that in being able to do 00:27:01.32\00:27:03.39 whatever it is that God has placed on her heart, 00:27:03.42\00:27:05.32 she has that more freedom 00:27:05.35\00:27:07.22 to be able to probably go down the street 00:27:07.26\00:27:10.96 and help with the homeless. 00:27:10.99\00:27:12.49 She has that freedom because she doesn't have a child 00:27:12.53\00:27:14.80 holding on her leg or anything like that. 00:27:14.83\00:27:18.57 And there are so many things that women do need, 00:27:18.60\00:27:21.94 but we're running out of time. 00:27:21.97\00:27:25.54 And in a nutshell, I would say, 1 Peter 3:3-4. 00:27:25.57\00:27:31.11 "Do not let your adorning be external, 00:27:31.15\00:27:33.18 the braiding of hair 00:27:33.21\00:27:34.55 and the putting on of gold jewelry 00:27:34.58\00:27:35.98 or the clothing you wear, 00:27:36.02\00:27:37.85 but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart, 00:27:37.89\00:27:41.12 with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit 00:27:41.16\00:27:45.33 which in God's sight is very precious." 00:27:45.36\00:27:48.70 What women need isn't external, it's internal. 00:27:48.73\00:27:52.57 And what they need 00:27:52.60\00:27:53.94 is not based on what they're doing but their being. 00:27:53.97\00:27:57.04 Please remember to make pure choices. 00:27:57.07\00:28:00.48