The following program discusses sensitive issues. 00:00:04.20\00:00:06.90 Parents are cautioned that some material 00:00:06.94\00:00:08.70 may be too candid for younger children. 00:00:08.74\00:00:10.84 Hello and thank you for joining us 00:00:44.57\00:00:46.91 on another episode of Pure Choices. 00:00:46.94\00:00:49.38 I'll be your host for today. My name is Jacques LaGuerre. 00:00:49.41\00:00:52.11 I am joined here with my lovely panel, 00:00:52.15\00:00:54.42 Brittany Morales, 00:00:54.45\00:00:56.79 Xavier Morales, 00:00:56.82\00:00:58.75 Timothy Lawson, and Myesha Lawson. 00:00:58.79\00:01:02.42 Our topic for today will be hook-ups. 00:01:02.46\00:01:05.19 Why buy the cow 00:01:05.23\00:01:06.56 if you can get the milk for free. 00:01:06.59\00:01:08.43 Now before we get 00:01:08.46\00:01:09.80 into the meat of our discussion, 00:01:09.83\00:01:11.17 I want to ask that you bow your heads 00:01:11.20\00:01:13.47 with me as I pray. 00:01:13.50\00:01:16.30 Dear Heavenly Father, 00:01:16.34\00:01:17.67 as we speak about the spiritual ramifications 00:01:17.71\00:01:20.84 of hooking-up 00:01:20.88\00:01:22.78 and we speak about Your grace to save us 00:01:22.81\00:01:24.98 from that sort of behavior, 00:01:25.01\00:01:27.18 we ask that You send Your Spirit 00:01:27.22\00:01:28.55 into this place to guide us and to lead us into all truth. 00:01:28.58\00:01:32.55 In Jesus' name, I pray. 00:01:32.59\00:01:34.26 Amen. Amen. 00:01:34.29\00:01:36.69 So hook-ups, we live in a hook-up culture, 00:01:36.73\00:01:41.40 you know, if you feel like doing it, do it. 00:01:41.43\00:01:44.37 And the question I've for you guys today is 00:01:44.40\00:01:47.97 if it's just two consenting adults 00:01:48.00\00:01:50.71 and they are having fun, so to speak, 00:01:50.74\00:01:53.04 what's really the big deal? 00:01:53.07\00:01:54.71 Sometimes things always start off well, 00:01:54.74\00:01:56.68 but they don't always end that way. 00:01:56.71\00:01:58.78 Explain. 00:01:58.81\00:02:00.15 And so they could be two consenting adults 00:02:00.18\00:02:01.85 but there's consequences to their reactions. 00:02:01.88\00:02:04.69 There are STDs out there. 00:02:04.72\00:02:08.49 There are, you know, pregnancies, 00:02:08.52\00:02:11.53 and if you have a kid with a person that, 00:02:11.56\00:02:13.86 you know, maybe God didn't ordain 00:02:13.90\00:02:15.40 for to be your spouse, 00:02:15.43\00:02:18.57 now you have to co-pair with this person 00:02:18.60\00:02:20.70 that might have different belief systems. 00:02:20.74\00:02:22.94 And so you're two consenting adults 00:02:22.97\00:02:26.04 but because you might have a kid, 00:02:26.07\00:02:27.71 you're choosing into signing 00:02:27.74\00:02:29.11 what this kid life might be like, 00:02:29.14\00:02:31.48 it might not be like. 00:02:31.51\00:02:33.68 And so there is danger just up ahead. 00:02:33.72\00:02:36.58 Everybody is having fun now 00:02:36.62\00:02:38.42 but when the responsibility comes, 00:02:38.45\00:02:40.19 it could be harder on one parent 00:02:40.22\00:02:41.86 or harder on both afterwards. 00:02:41.89\00:02:45.83 I think the reality is even though 00:02:45.86\00:02:47.63 they're two consenting adults, 00:02:47.66\00:02:49.70 when it comes to having sex, someone always gets hurt. 00:02:49.73\00:02:53.57 And even if it's not those people right there 00:02:53.60\00:02:56.07 in the moment, even if it's not two weeks afterwards, 00:02:56.10\00:02:59.34 it comes to the moment 00:02:59.37\00:03:01.14 when you want to be with someone. 00:03:01.18\00:03:02.81 And the question comes up, 00:03:02.84\00:03:04.21 "So how many people have you been with?" 00:03:04.25\00:03:06.41 And that moment, are you going to be ashamed of that number 00:03:06.45\00:03:11.02 or can you really proudly say, 00:03:11.05\00:03:12.79 "Well, honey, you're special to me 00:03:12.82\00:03:14.66 but I've been with, you know, 20 people, 00:03:14.69\00:03:18.09 some I know..." 00:03:18.13\00:03:19.93 It's going to create hurt either 00:03:19.96\00:03:21.43 to the two consenting adults, one of them 00:03:21.46\00:03:23.33 'cause if they keep on hooking up, 00:03:23.37\00:03:25.83 you have that situation 00:03:25.87\00:03:27.20 where someone is going to end up catching feelings 00:03:27.24\00:03:30.14 because they might feel like, 00:03:30.17\00:03:31.67 "Okay, maybe this can go further," 00:03:31.71\00:03:33.11 and the other one is like, 00:03:33.14\00:03:34.48 "No, this is not going any further." 00:03:34.51\00:03:35.84 So that person is hurt. 00:03:35.88\00:03:37.21 Or later down, 00:03:37.25\00:03:38.58 when you have to go through that explanation of, 00:03:38.61\00:03:39.95 "Well, that was then, this is now." 00:03:39.98\00:03:41.75 Someone always gets hurt. Someone always gets hurt. 00:03:41.78\00:03:45.55 Xavier? 00:03:45.59\00:03:46.92 I think to it's the fact that, 00:03:46.96\00:03:48.29 you know, we're created for commitment, 00:03:48.32\00:03:51.36 we're not committed to hook-up 00:03:51.39\00:03:52.73 even if we're two consenting adults. 00:03:52.76\00:03:54.90 And the issue with that is again, 00:03:54.93\00:03:57.50 what Timothy and Brittany say, 00:03:57.53\00:03:58.87 you know, somebody is going to catch feelings. 00:03:58.90\00:04:01.40 And there are STDs, 00:04:01.44\00:04:03.74 you know, they are everywhere nowadays. 00:04:03.77\00:04:05.74 And, you know, you're bound to put yourself in a situation 00:04:05.77\00:04:09.68 where the ramifications will be so detrimental 00:04:09.71\00:04:13.55 that there's no going back. 00:04:13.58\00:04:16.58 That's true. 00:04:16.62\00:04:17.95 And also, what you do is you take something 00:04:17.99\00:04:20.46 that God designed to be sacred and holy 00:04:20.49\00:04:24.49 and you put it on the level of common things. 00:04:24.53\00:04:27.10 And so inside the context of mere to something 00:04:27.13\00:04:30.47 that was supposed to be spiritual, 00:04:30.50\00:04:32.60 and a blessing, and people who are opposed 00:04:32.63\00:04:35.14 to have a spiritual and mental connection, 00:04:35.17\00:04:37.61 and then the physical, 00:04:37.64\00:04:39.07 you take all the rest of that away, 00:04:39.11\00:04:40.44 you just make it physical, you know. 00:04:40.48\00:04:42.78 And even when you just make it physical, 00:04:42.81\00:04:45.11 there is still some kind of mental connection 00:04:45.15\00:04:47.18 and a spiritual breakage that happens with both people. 00:04:47.22\00:04:53.19 Yeah, you know, we can see 00:04:53.22\00:04:54.56 that there's so many different things. 00:04:54.59\00:04:56.32 And even without the risk of STDs, 00:04:56.36\00:04:58.29 I've heard it's said 00:04:58.33\00:04:59.66 that there will only be safe sex 00:04:59.69\00:05:01.43 when they make a condom for the heart. 00:05:01.46\00:05:03.70 You know, because like you said, 00:05:03.73\00:05:05.07 our emotions do get involved and there is a risk of STDs 00:05:05.10\00:05:08.04 and you're spiritually kind of uniting yourself 00:05:08.07\00:05:11.94 with this person. 00:05:11.97\00:05:13.31 And so we've all agreed here 00:05:13.34\00:05:14.68 that, you know, hooking up is not God's intention for us. 00:05:14.71\00:05:19.25 But now the next question is so then, 00:05:19.28\00:05:21.62 me as a young person, I say, 00:05:21.65\00:05:23.08 "I'm going to refrain from sex until my wedding night." 00:05:23.12\00:05:26.62 Now the question that many young people ask 00:05:26.65\00:05:29.09 and I've heard tons of times is, 00:05:29.12\00:05:30.89 "How far is too far?" 00:05:30.93\00:05:34.10 I think if you have to question if the action you're doing, 00:05:34.13\00:05:37.40 if it's too far or not, 00:05:37.43\00:05:39.03 that probably is your first indicator. 00:05:39.07\00:05:41.40 If you really have something like, 00:05:41.44\00:05:42.77 "Wait, is this too far?" 00:05:42.80\00:05:45.54 I'd say to be on the safer side, 00:05:45.57\00:05:47.18 just don't do it. 00:05:47.21\00:05:49.98 Yeah, I think to... 00:05:50.01\00:05:51.35 I mean, they come up with crazy ideas 00:05:51.38\00:05:54.42 on how to keep their virginity while still, 00:05:54.45\00:05:57.09 you know, performing sex pretty much, 00:05:57.12\00:06:00.36 you know, hooking up. 00:06:00.39\00:06:01.82 And you still don't understand the fact 00:06:01.86\00:06:04.36 that, you know, your body is a temple 00:06:04.39\00:06:07.03 of the Holy Spirit. 00:06:07.06\00:06:08.40 You know, your body is supposed to be sanctified, 00:06:08.43\00:06:11.23 and at the same time, 00:06:11.27\00:06:12.60 you don't want to go into marriage 00:06:12.63\00:06:14.44 with a whole bunch of baggage on your back. 00:06:14.47\00:06:16.77 You know, sex is supposed to be a beautiful thing 00:06:16.81\00:06:18.81 not just something you just do just to hook up. 00:06:18.84\00:06:24.31 And also, you know, sin is progressive. 00:06:24.35\00:06:28.32 And so the devil likes to lead you 00:06:28.35\00:06:32.39 to deeper things, you know. 00:06:32.42\00:06:34.16 He may wants you to have sex 00:06:34.19\00:06:35.52 but he may start off with something small at first. 00:06:35.56\00:06:38.56 And so he'll start off with anything 00:06:38.59\00:06:41.20 he could start off with. 00:06:41.23\00:06:42.56 And so the Bible says, "Your body is not your own." 00:06:42.60\00:06:44.73 So if your body is not yours, that other person, 00:06:44.77\00:06:47.27 their body is not theirs, it belongs to the Lord. 00:06:47.30\00:06:49.50 And so you don't have any claim 00:06:49.54\00:06:53.68 to do a little bit, 00:06:53.71\00:06:56.31 you know, as you think it might be 00:06:56.34\00:06:58.01 with that person. 00:06:58.05\00:06:59.38 Myesha? 00:06:59.41\00:07:00.75 Yeah, I have experienced that 00:07:00.78\00:07:02.78 prior to losing my virginity 00:07:02.82\00:07:04.75 at a young age, by the way, it did start off little. 00:07:04.79\00:07:09.36 It started off with kissing, okay, 00:07:09.39\00:07:12.59 and not necessarily on the lips 00:07:12.63\00:07:14.40 but on the neck 00:07:14.43\00:07:15.76 or it started off with touching. 00:07:15.80\00:07:18.57 So it progressed over time, and sooner or later, 00:07:18.60\00:07:23.77 I ended up losing my virginity. 00:07:23.81\00:07:26.31 So, you know, and back of mind, I was getting told 00:07:26.34\00:07:30.05 that it was wrong, I shouldn't do this. 00:07:30.08\00:07:33.01 But there's peer pressure as well. 00:07:33.05\00:07:35.88 So not only was my friends who were doing it. 00:07:35.92\00:07:39.92 So you have to think about who you are hanging around 00:07:39.95\00:07:42.62 and they'll influence you around too, 00:07:42.66\00:07:44.33 and if you're on a different path, 00:07:44.36\00:07:46.80 should you be around them. 00:07:46.83\00:07:49.40 That's a good question, you know, they say, 00:07:49.43\00:07:51.10 you know, bad company, you know, it'll spoil you, 00:07:51.13\00:07:55.00 it'll spoil your good manners. 00:07:55.04\00:07:57.41 And so you were talking about things 00:07:57.44\00:07:59.04 getting progressively more sinful, 00:07:59.07\00:08:01.41 you know, sin is a downhill slope, 00:08:01.44\00:08:04.95 and you try to hit the brakes and you can't. 00:08:04.98\00:08:07.42 And we also live in a flirting culture, 00:08:07.45\00:08:10.42 you know, where everyone wants to use sexual innuendoes 00:08:10.45\00:08:14.69 and to talk and use, you know, sly remarks 00:08:14.72\00:08:17.59 that have very suggestive meanings. 00:08:17.63\00:08:20.70 What role do you think flirting plays 00:08:20.73\00:08:22.73 in the hook-up culture? 00:08:22.76\00:08:24.87 I think it's very... 00:08:24.90\00:08:27.37 Since we're talking about progressive slope, 00:08:27.40\00:08:30.51 the physical action, 00:08:30.54\00:08:32.44 you know, comes about not just 00:08:32.47\00:08:35.14 'cause you're physically attracted to someone, 00:08:35.18\00:08:36.68 but maybe they are mentally stimulating 00:08:36.71\00:08:38.41 or maybe whatever else in your mind 00:08:38.45\00:08:40.35 that you find attractive about it and you like. 00:08:40.38\00:08:42.25 And what happens is 00:08:42.28\00:08:43.62 you can steal somebody's affections 00:08:43.65\00:08:46.29 before you even touch them, you know. 00:08:46.32\00:08:48.56 And so you can flirt or present yourself in a, 00:08:48.59\00:08:52.49 you know, sexual manner 00:08:52.53\00:08:53.96 that can make this person desire you 00:08:54.00\00:08:56.77 before you guys even actually commit the act. 00:08:56.80\00:08:59.67 And that is essentially what everybody is trying to do. 00:08:59.70\00:09:01.97 That's why all the clothing, 00:09:02.00\00:09:03.34 the way you look is everybody's trying 00:09:03.37\00:09:04.74 to be desirable, and feel important 00:09:04.77\00:09:08.48 by making themselves objects that people can say, 00:09:08.51\00:09:11.58 "Wow, that person is somebody I really would like to, 00:09:11.61\00:09:14.65 you know, be around or be with." 00:09:14.68\00:09:16.55 And I think too flirting has kind of taken 00:09:16.58\00:09:18.79 a different confrontation nowadays too. 00:09:18.82\00:09:21.72 You know, back in the day, flirting was something a little 00:09:21.76\00:09:24.06 or less more innocent than it is now, you know. 00:09:24.09\00:09:26.63 It's actually the prevalent thing, the sexting, 00:09:26.66\00:09:29.33 you know, that's a form 00:09:29.36\00:09:30.70 of our young people using flirting. 00:09:30.73\00:09:32.70 Can you explain what sexting is? 00:09:32.73\00:09:34.07 Sexting is basically sending, you know, sexual verbiage, 00:09:34.10\00:09:38.71 you know, sexual wording, comments, talking about sex, 00:09:38.74\00:09:41.98 pictures, numbers that you see, you know, numbers, 00:09:42.01\00:09:45.58 different things on your cell phones, 00:09:45.61\00:09:47.52 and other electronics to send encrypted messages 00:09:47.55\00:09:52.62 that the youth understand one another 00:09:52.65\00:09:54.02 and what that means. 00:09:54.06\00:09:55.39 In sexting, you're basically provoking 00:09:55.42\00:09:56.76 and talking about sex in encoded ways 00:09:56.79\00:10:00.46 to the point where now even law enforcement 00:10:00.50\00:10:02.30 is stepping in to some of the schools 00:10:02.33\00:10:03.97 and putting a ban on the use of your cells phones 00:10:04.00\00:10:07.00 and sexting and all that 00:10:07.04\00:10:08.50 because it is extremely prevalent 00:10:08.54\00:10:11.67 in our society today. 00:10:11.71\00:10:14.08 And with that, you know, you're escalating it, 00:10:14.11\00:10:17.01 you're no longer, you know, just saying, 00:10:17.05\00:10:18.38 "Hey, you're cute. 00:10:18.41\00:10:19.75 You're pretty." 00:10:19.78\00:10:21.12 Now you're saying, you know," 00:10:21.15\00:10:22.48 I want to do this with you, I want to do this to you. 00:10:22.52\00:10:23.85 Let's hook-up." 00:10:23.89\00:10:25.55 Wow. Wow. Wow. 00:10:25.59\00:10:26.99 And so we can see here that, you know, all this flirting, 00:10:27.02\00:10:29.82 and all this sexting, 00:10:29.86\00:10:31.19 and all this talking provocatively, 00:10:31.23\00:10:32.79 and dressing provocatively, and doing all these things, 00:10:32.83\00:10:36.30 they are just fuelling the hook-up culture. 00:10:36.33\00:10:39.43 And I want to read here a Bible verse found 00:10:39.47\00:10:41.24 in 1 Corinthians 6:16, "What? 00:10:41.27\00:10:45.74 Know ye not that he who is joined 00:10:45.77\00:10:47.51 to the harlot is one body 00:10:47.54\00:10:49.34 for two saith he, shall be one flesh." 00:10:49.38\00:10:53.28 And I found it very interesting 00:10:53.31\00:10:55.02 when I was doing research on what Paul here 00:10:55.05\00:10:58.02 was talking about 00:10:58.05\00:10:59.39 when he wrote to the church at Corinth. 00:10:59.42\00:11:01.42 And in that society, 00:11:01.46\00:11:02.82 a lot of the prostitutes 00:11:02.86\00:11:04.73 in a desire to not get pregnant, 00:11:04.76\00:11:07.00 they wouldn't engage in full-on like vaginal sex. 00:11:07.03\00:11:11.83 They would do other things with these men 00:11:11.87\00:11:13.94 that were willing to pay. 00:11:13.97\00:11:15.30 They would either do what we call making out, 00:11:15.34\00:11:17.27 they would do all this rubbing, and touching, 00:11:17.31\00:11:19.21 and things of that nature for a price. 00:11:19.24\00:11:22.14 And so when Paul says here 00:11:22.18\00:11:23.65 that he was joined to a harlot is one flesh with here, 00:11:23.68\00:11:27.08 he is not explicitly talking about sex. 00:11:27.12\00:11:29.58 He is talking about all the things 00:11:29.62\00:11:30.95 that lead up to it, like all, 00:11:30.99\00:11:32.72 you know, we talk about the first base, 00:11:32.75\00:11:34.46 second base, and all these different ways 00:11:34.49\00:11:35.92 we have been describing it. 00:11:35.96\00:11:37.33 Paul here is saying that even these acts 00:11:37.36\00:11:39.13 in and out of themselves 00:11:39.16\00:11:40.53 that you're beginning to unite with that person. 00:11:40.56\00:11:45.53 And so let's say one of our viewers has been 00:11:45.57\00:11:48.24 that hook-up girl, has been that hook-up guy, 00:11:48.27\00:11:50.91 and they want to break 00:11:50.94\00:11:52.27 the cycle by the power of Jesus. 00:11:52.31\00:11:53.84 What are some practical tips 00:11:53.88\00:11:56.31 that you would give them to break the cycle of being 00:11:56.34\00:11:59.01 that hook-up girl or hook-up guy? 00:11:59.05\00:12:01.72 Well, for one, you have to recognize, 00:12:01.75\00:12:07.42 you know, that you were 00:12:07.46\00:12:08.79 that hook-up girl or that hook-up guy. 00:12:08.82\00:12:11.39 You have to realize that you were promiscuous, 00:12:11.43\00:12:15.06 and you want to get to the root why you were promiscuous, 00:12:15.10\00:12:18.77 what exactly were you looking for. 00:12:18.80\00:12:21.44 Well, for me, I was looking for love. 00:12:21.47\00:12:24.31 I didn't receive love inside of my home from a father. 00:12:24.34\00:12:28.98 I didn't have my father around for a period of time. 00:12:29.01\00:12:32.45 And so I went out and seeking for love 00:12:32.48\00:12:37.52 from all these guys that I thought 00:12:37.55\00:12:40.16 that can love me or told me that they love me, you know. 00:12:40.19\00:12:44.56 So now that I'm a new creature in Christ 00:12:44.59\00:12:49.23 and I found the love of Jesus, I realized 00:12:49.26\00:12:52.67 that what I was doing to myself was really hurting me. 00:12:52.70\00:12:58.17 And so I had to experience the real love, 00:12:58.21\00:13:04.98 you know, that God was my first husband 00:13:05.01\00:13:08.05 or He is my first husband. 00:13:08.08\00:13:10.35 And so when I came 00:13:10.39\00:13:12.05 to that point and experienced His love, 00:13:12.09\00:13:16.42 I began to heal. 00:13:16.46\00:13:20.46 Well, I think two things. 00:13:20.50\00:13:22.20 First, especially for guys is knowing your worth. 00:13:22.23\00:13:25.97 You know, a guy's worth, 00:13:26.00\00:13:28.14 in the world and largely in American society, 00:13:28.17\00:13:31.94 your manliness is based off of if you can hook-up 00:13:31.97\00:13:35.04 or how many hook-ups you can get. 00:13:35.08\00:13:37.01 And you have to switch 00:13:37.05\00:13:38.38 your mind state and your thinking 00:13:38.41\00:13:39.75 because everything starts with the mind. 00:13:39.78\00:13:41.85 However you think is how you're going to act. 00:13:41.88\00:13:44.82 And so you have to say that, 00:13:44.85\00:13:46.59 you know, "I am worth something. 00:13:46.62\00:13:47.96 I am worth more than this. 00:13:47.99\00:13:49.42 I am a special person not 00:13:49.46\00:13:50.86 because I can sleep with a lot of people 00:13:50.89\00:13:52.66 but because I can save myself for one person 00:13:52.69\00:13:55.93 or that special girl actually, 00:13:55.96\00:13:58.43 you know, because how am I a special guy 00:13:58.47\00:14:01.10 if everybody can have a piece of me." 00:14:01.14\00:14:03.41 And so you have to switch 00:14:03.44\00:14:04.77 your mind state in that respect. 00:14:04.81\00:14:06.14 And two, you have to starve those things 00:14:06.17\00:14:09.04 that's giving you a mind state to tell you 00:14:09.08\00:14:11.55 that it's okay for that. 00:14:11.58\00:14:12.91 And so certain movies you watch, 00:14:12.95\00:14:14.98 certain music you listen to, and like Myesha pointed out, 00:14:15.02\00:14:18.12 friends you hang out with. 00:14:18.15\00:14:19.55 There's some guys 00:14:19.59\00:14:20.92 that you just shouldn't be around 00:14:20.96\00:14:22.29 'cause the only thing on their mind 00:14:22.32\00:14:23.73 is hooking up, you know. 00:14:23.76\00:14:25.19 And there's some numbers in your phone of girls 00:14:25.23\00:14:27.06 that you need to delete, you need to erase, 00:14:27.10\00:14:29.46 don't try to play around saying, 00:14:29.50\00:14:30.83 "Well, we can probably still be friends," 00:14:30.87\00:14:32.33 'cause you know what she is about 00:14:32.37\00:14:33.84 and you know what that relationship 00:14:33.87\00:14:35.20 is going towards. 00:14:35.24\00:14:37.21 And I think too, you know, kind of piggybacking on Myesha 00:14:37.24\00:14:40.78 and everybody else that, you know, a lot of times 00:14:40.81\00:14:44.85 when we explain these things too, 00:14:44.88\00:14:46.95 you know, we have 00:14:46.98\00:14:48.32 a predominant society of fatherlessness. 00:14:48.35\00:14:50.82 You know, I was blessed with both my parents. 00:14:50.85\00:14:53.72 They celebrate 39 years of marriage. 00:14:53.76\00:14:56.22 You know, I came 00:14:56.26\00:14:57.59 from a good home, Christian home, 00:14:57.63\00:14:58.96 everything we know was roses, so they say. 00:14:58.99\00:15:02.43 But society was telling me that this is how you do it, 00:15:02.46\00:15:07.84 you know, this is the way to do things. 00:15:07.87\00:15:11.67 Even though my parents' example was, 00:15:11.71\00:15:13.94 you know, you need to be married, 00:15:13.98\00:15:15.74 you need to be together, 00:15:15.78\00:15:17.18 you know, one spouse, one wife, and all that. 00:15:17.21\00:15:21.32 And, you know, I think goes back 00:15:21.35\00:15:22.92 to what Tim says, 00:15:22.95\00:15:24.29 you know, you need to know your self-worth. 00:15:24.32\00:15:26.05 My self-worth was based on society standards. 00:15:26.09\00:15:29.89 You know, there's an importance 00:15:29.92\00:15:31.89 behind setting yourself worth behind Jesus, yes. 00:15:31.93\00:15:34.70 Some people call Him the fairy in the sky. 00:15:34.73\00:15:36.60 Yes, some people don't believe what the Word says, 00:15:36.63\00:15:38.57 and that's fine. 00:15:38.60\00:15:40.60 But the thing is though those words in the Bible 00:15:40.64\00:15:43.77 are not there just for the sake of being there. 00:15:43.81\00:15:46.57 They are actually there not to restrict you 00:15:46.61\00:15:48.41 but to free you 00:15:48.44\00:15:50.18 so you can have fun without all the repercussions, 00:15:50.21\00:15:53.38 without having to look over your shoulder. 00:15:53.42\00:15:54.88 You know, people don't understand that, 00:15:54.92\00:15:56.52 you know, with all these, 00:15:56.55\00:15:57.89 what if I do this and what if I did that. 00:15:57.92\00:16:00.56 And having that self-worth in Jesus allowed me 00:16:00.59\00:16:05.33 to understand that, 00:16:05.36\00:16:06.70 "Yeah, you know what, I can have fun with my friends. 00:16:06.73\00:16:08.96 I just don't have to have 00:16:09.00\00:16:10.33 this added extra things in there 00:16:10.37\00:16:12.60 that would actually were more detrimental 00:16:12.63\00:16:14.74 than I thought were fun," 00:16:14.77\00:16:16.10 'cause it seems like fun, it feels like fun, 00:16:16.14\00:16:18.11 but in reality I was damaging my body physically, 00:16:18.14\00:16:20.58 spiritually, and mentally. 00:16:20.61\00:16:23.21 Wow. Wow. Wow. 00:16:23.24\00:16:25.61 That's very interesting. 00:16:25.65\00:16:27.12 What I was also going to add into what Myesha was saying 00:16:27.15\00:16:31.35 is you need to also know the reason why 00:16:31.39\00:16:34.46 you want to stop being the hook-up girl 00:16:34.49\00:16:36.29 or the hook-up boy. 00:16:36.32\00:16:37.99 It's like when it comes to smoking, 00:16:38.03\00:16:39.89 a lot of people quit a lot of times 00:16:39.93\00:16:43.00 but you only stop once. 00:16:43.03\00:16:45.27 So you can say, 00:16:45.30\00:16:46.63 "Okay, I'm not going to do this anymore." 00:16:46.67\00:16:48.00 And then something happens 00:16:48.04\00:16:49.37 and you're on that path all over again. 00:16:49.40\00:16:51.64 Know your reason why 00:16:51.67\00:16:54.48 and let it be something stronger than just, 00:16:54.51\00:16:58.08 "Okay, I'm just not going to hook-up 00:16:58.11\00:16:59.61 because I want someone 00:16:59.65\00:17:01.92 who is going to love my smile," 00:17:01.95\00:17:05.82 'cause some people have like these frivolities 00:17:05.85\00:17:07.56 and then someone comes around and says, 00:17:07.59\00:17:09.26 "You know, I love you." 00:17:09.29\00:17:10.79 "Wait, maybe he is the one. 00:17:10.83\00:17:12.29 Okay, maybe I'll..." 00:17:12.33\00:17:14.16 Have seriates and let it be grounded 00:17:14.20\00:17:16.26 in Christ and say, 00:17:16.30\00:17:17.63 "I'm not going to be this anymore 00:17:17.67\00:17:19.00 because there is someone out there 00:17:19.03\00:17:21.07 who is being prepared for me, 00:17:21.10\00:17:23.71 and I have to make sure I'm preparing myself 00:17:23.74\00:17:25.81 so that when we combine together, 00:17:25.84\00:17:28.74 it is an experience that glorifies God." 00:17:28.78\00:17:32.05 And I'll also say know what your triggers are. 00:17:32.08\00:17:34.98 Sometimes we're going through that cycle 00:17:35.02\00:17:36.48 because it might be because, 00:17:36.52\00:17:39.22 "My family member did something, 00:17:39.25\00:17:41.52 they said something. 00:17:41.56\00:17:42.89 I am so stressed out. 00:17:42.92\00:17:44.26 I'm just going to find someone to hook-up with for tonight 00:17:44.29\00:17:47.06 or I'm just standing 00:17:47.10\00:17:48.76 and this girl comes and she touches, 00:17:48.80\00:17:50.83 you know, a guy if he touches," 00:17:50.87\00:17:52.20 you know, his chest and it's like, 00:17:52.23\00:17:54.54 "Oh, she touched my chest. 00:17:54.57\00:17:56.24 She wants me. I might as well. It's just one time." 00:17:56.27\00:17:59.31 Or even if it's a girl, and the guy says, 00:17:59.34\00:18:00.81 "You know, you're very pretty, 00:18:00.84\00:18:02.24 and you look like a really great woman, 00:18:02.28\00:18:03.78 the way how you were just walking across there." 00:18:03.81\00:18:07.02 "Maybe he thinks about..." 00:18:07.05\00:18:08.38 Like know what your triggers are, 00:18:08.42\00:18:10.49 and I think those are like two key things. 00:18:10.52\00:18:14.32 I like all the comments that, you guys, said 00:18:14.36\00:18:15.96 and one of the common threads 00:18:15.99\00:18:17.33 I found was keeping Christ at the center. 00:18:17.36\00:18:20.43 You know, knowing your self-worth, 00:18:20.46\00:18:22.66 knowing how you can find your self-worth at the cross. 00:18:22.70\00:18:26.63 And for me, particularly, 00:18:26.67\00:18:28.87 I grew up in a good sound Adventist home. 00:18:28.90\00:18:31.57 Two parents, 00:18:31.61\00:18:32.94 my father's a pastor, my mother is a nurse, 00:18:32.97\00:18:35.34 just typical Adventist family. 00:18:35.38\00:18:37.68 My father has been in ministry for over 35 years now. 00:18:37.71\00:18:40.95 And yet, I was taking the cues from society, 00:18:40.98\00:18:44.22 I was looking to the movies, I was looking to the music. 00:18:44.25\00:18:46.39 And I was saying, 00:18:46.42\00:18:47.76 "Well, if I'm not picking up a lot of women, 00:18:47.79\00:18:51.46 then I'm not a guy." 00:18:51.49\00:18:53.29 I didn't learn that from home, 00:18:53.33\00:18:54.86 I didn't learn that from family members, 00:18:54.90\00:18:56.87 I didn't learn that from my church, 00:18:56.90\00:18:58.63 but I learned it from the television. 00:18:58.67\00:19:00.94 And like you were saying earlier, 00:19:00.97\00:19:02.77 removing all these negative influences 00:19:02.80\00:19:04.74 that are giving you a false reality in a way 00:19:04.77\00:19:09.11 saying that you have to be this guy, 00:19:09.14\00:19:10.95 you have to be this girl, or you have to dress this way, 00:19:10.98\00:19:13.52 or you have to talk this way. 00:19:13.55\00:19:15.22 Removing these influences from my life 00:19:15.25\00:19:17.62 and replacing them 00:19:17.65\00:19:18.99 'cause you have to replace them with something, 00:19:19.02\00:19:20.39 you can't sit around all day doing nothing, 00:19:20.42\00:19:21.89 dwindling your thumbs. 00:19:21.92\00:19:23.46 And so removing these things from my life 00:19:23.49\00:19:25.56 and replacing them with, 00:19:25.59\00:19:26.93 you know, sound music, you know, reading my Bible, 00:19:26.96\00:19:30.87 reading the Spirit of prophesy. 00:19:30.90\00:19:32.67 You know, I found counsel in Steps to Christ, 00:19:32.70\00:19:35.94 and Patriarchs and Prophets, and Prophets and Kings. 00:19:35.97\00:19:38.94 And all these books, 00:19:38.97\00:19:40.81 they were able to help me in my path to purity. 00:19:40.84\00:19:43.55 Did any of these books also influence 00:19:43.58\00:19:45.41 any of your changes whether it's from the Bible, 00:19:45.45\00:19:47.52 the Spirit of prophesy? 00:19:47.55\00:19:50.05 Yes. 00:19:50.09\00:19:51.42 In my formal life, when I used to be a dancer in Las Vegas, 00:19:51.45\00:19:56.93 I decided that I wanted to change my life, 00:19:56.96\00:19:58.96 I wanted to give it to Christ. 00:19:58.99\00:20:01.30 And so, at that point of time in my life, 00:20:01.33\00:20:06.17 I caught a case. 00:20:06.20\00:20:08.20 And I was going to court for it. 00:20:08.24\00:20:11.54 I didn't know what I was up against. 00:20:11.57\00:20:14.08 And at the time, my husband, 00:20:14.11\00:20:16.48 he sent a packet in the mail. 00:20:16.51\00:20:20.32 And it had Amazing Facts Bible Studies in it, 00:20:20.35\00:20:23.72 it had Steps to Christ. 00:20:23.75\00:20:25.85 And so that morning before court, 00:20:25.89\00:20:28.76 I opened Steps to Christ. 00:20:28.79\00:20:31.19 And I began to read it. 00:20:31.23\00:20:33.93 It was amazing 'cause I have never 00:20:33.96\00:20:37.13 read something like that before. 00:20:37.17\00:20:40.37 I mean, it spoke to me. 00:20:40.40\00:20:43.44 And I mean, I got teary-eyed, 00:20:43.47\00:20:45.67 it was the first experience I've ever had with Jesus. 00:20:45.71\00:20:50.25 And I grew up in church 00:20:50.28\00:20:53.25 but I never had that experience. 00:20:53.28\00:20:56.25 So I didn't know 00:20:56.28\00:20:58.72 what I was up against going to court. 00:20:58.75\00:21:01.22 So as I go to court, and I'm just praying, 00:21:01.26\00:21:04.19 constantly just praying like, 00:21:04.23\00:21:05.83 "Lord, I really want to change my life. 00:21:05.86\00:21:08.63 Please just help me." 00:21:08.66\00:21:10.80 And I carried that Steps to Christ in my purse. 00:21:10.83\00:21:13.50 So when I'm outside, 00:21:13.54\00:21:16.37 and I'm talking to the public defender, 00:21:16.40\00:21:18.47 and he is coming back and forth telling me about my case, 00:21:18.51\00:21:21.61 I keep opening the Steps to Christ, 00:21:21.64\00:21:23.95 just keep reading, and keep reading, 00:21:23.98\00:21:25.65 and I'm just praying like, "Lord, please just please." 00:21:25.68\00:21:30.02 So as I go to court, everything was fine. 00:21:30.05\00:21:34.32 I didn't have to do any jail-time. 00:21:34.36\00:21:36.16 The Lord was just good. 00:21:36.19\00:21:38.23 Well, once again, I opened up my Steps to Christ, 00:21:38.26\00:21:43.43 and the next thing you know, I found a church, 00:21:43.47\00:21:45.90 and I started Bible studies with Amazing Facts. 00:21:45.93\00:21:48.84 Wow. Wow. Wow. 00:21:48.87\00:21:50.21 That's amazing how, you know, just such a simple book, 00:21:50.24\00:21:52.77 just a small book 00:21:52.81\00:21:54.31 can really lead someone to Christ 00:21:54.34\00:21:56.51 and show them His perfect love 00:21:56.54\00:21:57.95 and show them His perfect grace. 00:21:57.98\00:22:00.55 And many of us here, we've made a lot of mistakes. 00:22:00.58\00:22:03.28 You know, we've sinned sexually. 00:22:03.32\00:22:05.89 We've sinned against our own bodies. 00:22:05.92\00:22:08.52 And so the next question I have is 00:22:08.56\00:22:12.99 if someone has made a lot of sexual mistakes, 00:22:13.03\00:22:15.13 they haven't kept themselves pure, 00:22:15.16\00:22:16.83 and they have sinned 00:22:16.87\00:22:18.20 against their own body as Paul says, 00:22:18.23\00:22:20.97 is there hope and can God change that person? 00:22:21.00\00:22:25.61 You better believe it. 00:22:25.64\00:22:27.64 You know, God's all about change. 00:22:27.68\00:22:29.04 That's why I love the way that Bible starts off, 00:22:29.08\00:22:31.51 it starts off with God creating. 00:22:31.55\00:22:33.92 You know, He is creating the new earth, 00:22:33.95\00:22:36.32 He is creating the new man, 00:22:36.35\00:22:37.95 and then at the end of the Bible, 00:22:37.99\00:22:39.59 you know, in the book of Revelations, 00:22:39.62\00:22:40.96 He's going to recreate. 00:22:40.99\00:22:43.73 And so, you know, I can remember 00:22:43.76\00:22:46.49 when I was changing my favorite Bible characters, 00:22:46.53\00:22:50.00 I used to be like Peter and John, 00:22:50.03\00:22:52.03 praise the Lord, you know, Moses is really tight too. 00:22:52.07\00:22:54.44 But in a way, I was always reading Peter 00:22:54.47\00:22:56.74 because Peter had a lot of problems 00:22:56.77\00:22:59.04 and, you know, he was messed up. 00:22:59.07\00:23:00.98 And then you go through the New Testament, 00:23:01.01\00:23:03.61 you see how God changed him. 00:23:03.65\00:23:05.71 And so, you know, when you are on your knees praying, 00:23:05.75\00:23:08.28 you're like, "Lord, you know, can you change me like that? 00:23:08.32\00:23:11.85 You know, can you take me from being this person 00:23:11.89\00:23:15.22 who can even be in Your presence 00:23:15.26\00:23:16.69 and can't even see their ownself 00:23:16.73\00:23:18.19 to just being full of Your Holy Spirit 00:23:18.23\00:23:22.16 and showing Your love to other people?" 00:23:22.20\00:23:24.60 And the whole purpose is God wants to change you. 00:23:24.63\00:23:27.64 That's one of the reasons He died on the cross 00:23:27.67\00:23:30.04 because He wants to give you the power 00:23:30.07\00:23:31.84 to live just like His Son. 00:23:31.87\00:23:34.74 Well, to be honest, me, 00:23:34.78\00:23:39.98 I am a living testimony, okay? 00:23:40.02\00:23:42.28 I mean, can God change you? Yes, look at me. 00:23:42.32\00:23:46.12 If you have seen me then to now, yes, 00:23:46.15\00:23:49.32 the Lord can do some amazing changes. 00:23:49.36\00:23:50.96 And I mean I'm still growing in grace of course. 00:23:50.99\00:23:53.26 But the Lord is good anyhow. 00:23:53.29\00:23:56.16 Like I said, I have done a lot. 00:23:56.20\00:23:59.47 I struggled also with emotional problems, 00:23:59.50\00:24:04.44 you know, and dispositions. 00:24:04.47\00:24:06.57 And I just held on to Christ in changing me 00:24:06.61\00:24:09.64 and that exactly what He did because I asked. 00:24:09.68\00:24:13.45 And I put forth, and I read His Word, 00:24:13.48\00:24:15.58 and I want to live by His Word. 00:24:15.62\00:24:18.12 So yes, it's possible. He can change you. 00:24:18.15\00:24:21.46 And I think too, for me, 00:24:21.49\00:24:22.82 like I gravitated to David in the Bible 00:24:22.86\00:24:25.29 'cause as messed up as he was, God kept saying... 00:24:25.33\00:24:27.26 But this man was after his own heart. 00:24:27.30\00:24:29.83 And I noticed that it wasn't 'cause he was just messed up, 00:24:29.86\00:24:32.40 it was because he knew he's messed up 00:24:32.43\00:24:34.50 and he was just striving to get closer, 00:24:34.54\00:24:37.64 you know, by any means necessary 00:24:37.67\00:24:39.04 to get closer to God. 00:24:39.07\00:24:40.41 So, you know, for me that was my case. 00:24:40.44\00:24:42.04 I just... 00:24:42.08\00:24:43.41 I knew I was messed up, 00:24:43.45\00:24:44.78 "But, God, what can I do to get closer to you?" 00:24:44.81\00:24:47.02 And He took me as I was and slowly 00:24:47.05\00:24:50.25 but surely change me to the man I'm today. 00:24:50.29\00:24:52.85 Amen. Amen. 00:24:52.89\00:24:55.82 When you asked if God can change me, 00:24:55.86\00:24:57.46 He can just transform you from the top of your head 00:24:57.49\00:25:01.96 to like the sole of your feet. 00:25:02.00\00:25:04.03 And He does it in such a way where... 00:25:04.07\00:25:05.93 God knows each one of us individually. 00:25:05.97\00:25:08.04 He knows what our hearts are, what our pains are, 00:25:08.07\00:25:10.97 what our struggles are, 00:25:11.01\00:25:12.37 and He tailors to each one of us, and says, 00:25:12.41\00:25:14.54 "Okay, you need help in this area, 00:25:14.58\00:25:17.08 and this is how I'm going to do it.' 00:25:17.11\00:25:18.45 It's like He has His own little action plan, 00:25:18.48\00:25:20.62 counseling plan, whatever it is. 00:25:20.65\00:25:22.55 And He goes about it. 00:25:22.58\00:25:23.92 And He does it so miraculously when He does it in your life. 00:25:23.95\00:25:28.86 And that's what I love about God, 00:25:28.89\00:25:30.96 how He really truly takes that time, and says, 00:25:30.99\00:25:33.76 "Okay, yes, you are in a mess 00:25:33.80\00:25:35.73 but I'm not going to leave you there. 00:25:35.76\00:25:37.10 I'm not just going to say, 'You're dirty, you're filthy, 00:25:37.13\00:25:39.03 I want nothing to do with you.' 00:25:39.07\00:25:40.57 I'm going to actually take you in My arms 00:25:40.60\00:25:43.71 and help you through this process." 00:25:43.74\00:25:47.64 And I've seen the power of God in my own life as well. 00:25:47.68\00:25:52.58 Me and myself, I was that guy, 00:25:52.61\00:25:55.85 I was that hook-up guy after being a pastor's child, 00:25:55.88\00:25:59.09 knowing the truth, 00:25:59.12\00:26:00.76 being exposed to powerful Adventist messages 00:26:00.79\00:26:03.49 in my whole entire life. 00:26:03.53\00:26:05.23 I left the church. I decided to join the military. 00:26:05.26\00:26:08.80 And while I was in the military, I just... 00:26:08.83\00:26:12.23 I was into all sorts of stuff. 00:26:12.27\00:26:15.07 I was frequent in strip clubs, I was hooking up, 00:26:15.10\00:26:19.07 I even slid into soliciting prostitutes. 00:26:19.11\00:26:22.21 But the whole time, God was there. 00:26:22.24\00:26:25.15 And from going from a place like 00:26:25.18\00:26:27.18 that to being able to share with others, 00:26:27.22\00:26:30.39 the gospel, only the power of God 00:26:30.42\00:26:33.29 can accomplish that. 00:26:33.32\00:26:34.66 Yes. Amen. 00:26:34.69\00:26:36.02 It's amazing to see His love, it's amazing to see His grace, 00:26:36.06\00:26:40.23 it's amazing to see His patience 00:26:40.26\00:26:41.80 and how He will work with us. 00:26:41.83\00:26:45.03 Like the story of the prodigal son, 00:26:45.07\00:26:47.84 God the Father, He is waiting for all His children. 00:26:47.87\00:26:51.17 He wants them to come home. 00:26:51.21\00:26:53.48 And He wants to put on you His royal robes. 00:26:53.51\00:26:56.75 Do any of you guys have 00:26:56.78\00:26:58.15 just one final experience for us today 00:26:58.18\00:27:01.32 that you have one experience 00:27:01.35\00:27:03.45 where you felt God's love in such remarkable way 00:27:03.49\00:27:05.99 before we close? 00:27:06.02\00:27:08.52 Yeah, I felt in jail. 00:27:08.56\00:27:11.69 I heard His voice, and I just said, 00:27:11.73\00:27:14.16 "Here I am, Lord. 00:27:14.20\00:27:15.53 I am listening." 00:27:15.56\00:27:17.13 Amen. Myesha? 00:27:17.17\00:27:18.50 Yes, I experienced a loss, okay? 00:27:18.53\00:27:21.37 I lost a child. 00:27:21.40\00:27:24.24 And I felt like I had no one, nobody, 00:27:24.27\00:27:26.91 and I felt the Lord was there for me. 00:27:26.94\00:27:30.45 He actually saved my life in that point of time. 00:27:30.48\00:27:34.88 And that's what Christ came to do. 00:27:34.92\00:27:36.65 He came to save us from ourselves, 00:27:36.69\00:27:39.29 our weak un-Christ-like-selves. 00:27:39.32\00:27:41.22 And I thank Him for that. 00:27:41.26\00:27:43.79 Well, that's all the time we have for today. 00:27:43.83\00:27:46.13 Thank you for joining us 00:27:46.16\00:27:47.50 on another episode of Pure Choices. 00:27:47.53\00:27:49.86 May God be with you, may His peace guide you. 00:27:49.90\00:27:53.03 And remember to always make pure choices. 00:27:53.07\00:27:56.24