The following program
discusses sensitive issues.
00:00:02.26\00:00:04.93
Parents are
cautioned that some material
00:00:04.97\00:00:06.77
may be too candid
for younger children.
00:00:06.80\00:00:08.90
Hello and thank you
for joining us today
00:00:43.47\00:00:45.74
for another
episode of Pure Choices.
00:00:45.77\00:00:48.41
I'll be your
host Jacques LaGuerre,
00:00:48.44\00:00:50.01
and I'm joined
here with my panel,
00:00:50.05\00:00:52.55
Xavier Morales,
00:00:52.58\00:00:54.52
Brittany
Morales, Mayesha Lawson,
00:00:54.55\00:00:58.12
and Timothy Lawson.
00:00:58.15\00:01:00.22
Today, we will be
talking about strip clubs.
00:01:00.26\00:01:04.69
Before we start,
00:01:04.73\00:01:06.23
I'll ask that you bow
your heads with me as I pray.
00:01:06.26\00:01:10.03
Dear Heavenly Father,
00:01:10.07\00:01:11.83
as we talk about
this sensitive issue,
00:01:11.87\00:01:14.54
I ask that You send
your spirit into this place,
00:01:14.57\00:01:17.61
and You guide our discussion,
in Jesus' name I pray, Amen.
00:01:17.64\00:01:22.08
Amen. Amen.
00:01:22.11\00:01:24.78
I want to start
with a Bible verse,
00:01:24.81\00:01:26.82
Matthew 5:27, 28.
00:01:26.85\00:01:31.32
The Bible says,
00:01:31.35\00:01:32.79
"Ye have heard that it
was said by them of old time,
00:01:32.82\00:01:35.46
thou shalt not commit adultery.
00:01:35.49\00:01:37.53
But I say unto you,
00:01:37.56\00:01:38.89
that whosoever
looketh on a woman to lust
00:01:38.93\00:01:40.60
after her hath
committed adultery with her
00:01:40.63\00:01:43.47
already in his heart."
00:01:43.50\00:01:46.37
Now I want to ask,
00:01:46.40\00:01:48.07
what do guys
think about this verse?
00:01:48.10\00:01:49.80
Do you truly believe
00:01:49.84\00:01:52.04
that looking is the
same as committing adultery?
00:01:52.07\00:01:56.44
And why?
00:01:56.48\00:01:59.38
Well, one reason I believe is
00:01:59.41\00:02:01.12
'cause that's
what the Bible says.
00:02:01.15\00:02:03.92
Good answer. Right.
00:02:03.95\00:02:05.79
But also another reason,
00:02:05.82\00:02:09.32
you know, I don't
think anything ever stops
00:02:09.36\00:02:12.23
with just a look.
00:02:12.26\00:02:13.86
I think a look to
lust can be harmful.
00:02:13.90\00:02:17.83
You can start fantasy
building in your mind,
00:02:17.87\00:02:21.44
create a whole
another reality in your mind,
00:02:21.47\00:02:23.44
and also it's going to
lead to something as far as
00:02:23.47\00:02:28.61
if you're watching
strip clubs and pornography,
00:02:28.64\00:02:31.08
if maybe you
actually don't go out
00:02:31.11\00:02:33.42
and have sex
with another person,
00:02:33.45\00:02:35.05
then, you know, you
might do it to yourself
00:02:35.08\00:02:37.19
as in masturbation,
00:02:37.22\00:02:38.55
so it's going to
lead to some kind of act.
00:02:38.59\00:02:40.96
So what you're saying
is looking is never enough?
00:02:40.99\00:02:42.86
No, I don't think so, no.
00:02:42.89\00:02:44.86
Anyone else have any thoughts,
is looking ever really enough?
00:02:44.89\00:02:47.73
I think it's also like
00:02:47.76\00:02:49.56
piggybacking of what Tim said
00:02:49.60\00:02:51.03
that most of the times,
if you see adultery cases,
00:02:51.07\00:02:54.80
they start it with looking,
00:02:54.84\00:02:56.74
you know, looking at pornography
00:02:56.77\00:02:58.11
or looking at
somebody of the opposite sex,
00:02:58.14\00:03:01.01
you know, it always
starts with just looking,
00:03:01.04\00:03:02.71
but looking is usually,
you know, if you indulge in it,
00:03:02.74\00:03:06.05
it really isn't
that enough, yeah,
00:03:06.08\00:03:07.62
you know, you keep
going to the next extreme.
00:03:07.65\00:03:11.35
When I think about adultery,
00:03:11.39\00:03:13.89
so often we
think adultery as only
00:03:13.92\00:03:15.79
if a person has
sexual intercourse
00:03:15.82\00:03:18.39
with another person
who isn't their spouse.
00:03:18.43\00:03:20.93
When in reality,
adultery is more than that.
00:03:20.96\00:03:23.97
If I'm looking at
someone with lust in my heart
00:03:24.00\00:03:26.60
and I'm desiring them,
00:03:26.63\00:03:28.37
I'm already taking a
special part of my heart
00:03:28.40\00:03:31.27
that belongs to my husband
00:03:31.31\00:03:33.11
and giving it to
someone who doesn't deserve it.
00:03:33.14\00:03:35.68
I'm already desiring someone
who I shouldn't be desiring
00:03:35.71\00:03:38.48
because they're not my husband.
00:03:38.51\00:03:41.28
So that's already
the beginning of...
00:03:41.32\00:03:43.65
That's adultery
00:03:43.69\00:03:45.02
because that special sexual
desire belongs to the person
00:03:45.05\00:03:49.96
that God has given to me,
00:03:49.99\00:03:51.86
not to some random guy
00:03:51.89\00:03:53.23
who's just
walking across in my view.
00:03:53.26\00:03:56.77
So based on what
you just talked about,
00:03:56.80\00:03:59.67
do you believe it is
okay for a young Christian
00:03:59.70\00:04:03.17
to go to a strip club?
00:04:03.20\00:04:04.87
No. No.
00:04:04.91\00:04:06.78
No. Not if it's
really a Christian.
00:04:06.81\00:04:09.64
Not if it's really a Christian.
00:04:09.68\00:04:11.31
He shouldn't be in
that area, that atmosphere,
00:04:11.35\00:04:16.95
especially if he is a Christian.
00:04:16.99\00:04:18.32
He's supposed to want to
be, you know, close to the Lord.
00:04:18.35\00:04:22.72
And in that atmosphere,
00:04:22.76\00:04:24.16
you know, it's the
enemy's atmosphere.
00:04:24.19\00:04:26.13
He has his people there,
he has his spirits there,
00:04:26.16\00:04:29.73
and he's walking into...
00:04:29.76\00:04:31.57
I like the term I've
heard and read in some books,
00:04:31.60\00:04:34.57
the devil's
enchanted ground, you know.
00:04:34.60\00:04:37.14
And so he's not safe to
venture in there by himself.
00:04:37.17\00:04:42.38
And so he shouldn't be there.
00:04:42.41\00:04:44.55
Speaking of the
devil's enchanted ground,
00:04:44.58\00:04:47.72
could you tell me
some of the history
00:04:47.75\00:04:49.08
of the strip club?
00:04:49.12\00:04:50.45
Where did it come
from? What are the roots?
00:04:50.49\00:04:51.85
And how did this
institution just spring up
00:04:51.89\00:04:54.02
and almost take
the country by storm?
00:04:54.06\00:04:57.06
Well, it's very interesting,
00:04:57.09\00:04:58.46
you know, when
you research things
00:04:58.49\00:05:00.03
far back enough, you
always go to ancient cultures.
00:05:00.06\00:05:03.03
And most of the
things that they did,
00:05:03.06\00:05:05.77
they did for worship purposes.
00:05:05.80\00:05:08.10
They did it as a
formal worship to their gods.
00:05:08.14\00:05:10.47
And so some of
the earliest records
00:05:10.51\00:05:12.87
they have are in Egypt
00:05:12.91\00:05:15.08
and India with
the belly dancing.
00:05:15.11\00:05:18.28
And there's also
interesting story
00:05:18.31\00:05:21.88
about the myth
00:05:21.92\00:05:23.49
about the
Babylonian God, Ishtar,
00:05:23.52\00:05:26.22
that she fell in
love with Tammuz.
00:05:26.25\00:05:28.16
And he got sent
to the underworld,
00:05:28.19\00:05:30.56
and she wanted to get him out.
00:05:30.59\00:05:31.93
Well, to get him out,
00:05:31.96\00:05:33.29
she had to walk
through these seven gates.
00:05:33.33\00:05:35.06
And through walking
to these seven gates
00:05:35.10\00:05:37.43
before she can get to
the entrance of each gate,
00:05:37.47\00:05:39.73
she had to take off something.
00:05:39.77\00:05:41.30
And so, by the time,
she got to the seventh gate,
00:05:41.34\00:05:43.14
she was bare obviously.
00:05:43.17\00:05:45.14
And some people think
that had a lot of influence
00:05:45.17\00:05:47.71
and so then it
went from those cultures
00:05:47.74\00:05:50.15
in those societies to the Greek
00:05:50.18\00:05:51.75
and Roman cultures and societies
00:05:51.78\00:05:53.45
in their worship services,
00:05:53.48\00:05:55.15
I think there was a service
00:05:55.18\00:05:57.95
that Romans had
called Lupercalia,
00:05:57.99\00:06:01.86
which they used to
celebrate in February
00:06:01.89\00:06:06.86
which also where
Valentine's Day comes from.
00:06:06.90\00:06:08.96
And it was a fertility ritual
00:06:09.00\00:06:13.30
where the women had to dance
and also there were priests
00:06:13.34\00:06:18.41
and there were
different ceremonies.
00:06:18.44\00:06:19.97
And then, you
know, it drifted off
00:06:20.01\00:06:21.78
from that form of culture
00:06:21.81\00:06:23.58
to kind of our times
through the lake opera shows
00:06:23.61\00:06:28.85
and American burlesque.
00:06:28.88\00:06:30.32
And then what you have
00:06:30.35\00:06:31.69
for modern times
in the '50s and '60s,
00:06:31.72\00:06:33.76
that's when you had
the modern topless bars
00:06:33.79\00:06:35.99
kind of come out.
00:06:36.02\00:06:37.36
And so it just
kind of progressed
00:06:37.39\00:06:38.73
through history, and the devil,
00:06:38.76\00:06:40.90
you know, first, he had
it in the worship services,
00:06:40.93\00:06:42.70
it's in Asian culture,
00:06:42.73\00:06:44.07
and then he had it
kind of "high society",
00:06:44.10\00:06:46.60
you know, kind of
the operas and burlesque,
00:06:46.63\00:06:48.37
people would dress up
and go and watch these shows.
00:06:48.40\00:06:51.14
And then in '50s and '60s,
00:06:51.17\00:06:52.51
it kind of branched
out into the topless bars
00:06:52.54\00:06:55.54
and anything
goes places like that.
00:06:55.58\00:06:59.71
Wow.
00:06:59.75\00:07:01.08
Thank you, Tim, for that history
00:07:01.12\00:07:02.45
of where strip clubs from.
00:07:02.48\00:07:03.82
I didn't know all that.
00:07:03.85\00:07:05.29
And you'd also see the
history of provocative dancing
00:07:05.32\00:07:08.59
in the Bible.
00:07:08.62\00:07:10.09
You know, the story
of John the Baptist.
00:07:10.13\00:07:13.33
He was put in prison by
King Herod, now Herodias,
00:07:13.36\00:07:17.13
she had a problem
with John the Baptist
00:07:17.17\00:07:19.20
because he spoke out
against her marriage,
00:07:19.23\00:07:21.97
and she wanted to end
the life of John the Baptist,
00:07:22.00\00:07:24.51
but King Herod
respected John as a prophet.
00:07:24.54\00:07:27.68
And it was one fateful night,
00:07:27.71\00:07:29.68
I'm pretty sure you
guys know the story,
00:07:29.71\00:07:32.01
where John the
Baptist lost his life
00:07:32.05\00:07:35.45
after Herodias's daughter,
00:07:35.48\00:07:37.29
she danced for them
in a very sexual way,
00:07:37.32\00:07:40.52
and she asked for
John the Baptist's head
00:07:40.56\00:07:43.36
as a result of her dance,
00:07:43.39\00:07:44.73
and King Herod had
made a promise to her
00:07:44.76\00:07:46.86
that he would give her anything,
00:07:46.90\00:07:48.23
up to half the kingdom.
00:07:48.26\00:07:50.07
And so you can see
00:07:50.10\00:07:51.43
that the devil
has plans for women.
00:07:51.47\00:07:53.44
He wants women to use
00:07:53.47\00:07:54.80
their bodies to
destroy great men.
00:07:54.84\00:07:59.81
And we can also see
that in other places
00:07:59.84\00:08:01.18
in the Bible.
00:08:01.21\00:08:02.54
I know, Xavier, you
had a thought about that.
00:08:02.58\00:08:04.05
Yeah, the Book of
Numbers, it talks about that,
00:08:04.08\00:08:06.21
you know, often we
overlook that book in the Bible.
00:08:06.25\00:08:09.52
The Book of Numbers,
00:08:09.55\00:08:10.89
it's actually a very interesting
00:08:10.92\00:08:12.25
story of Phinehas,
00:08:12.29\00:08:13.62
and I can't remember
00:08:13.66\00:08:14.99
the names of the
two people involved,
00:08:15.02\00:08:16.36
maybe, Tim, you
might remember the names.
00:08:16.39\00:08:18.36
The guy's name was Zimri
and the girl's name was Cozbi.
00:08:18.39\00:08:22.00
Yeah, and they were...
00:08:22.03\00:08:23.73
That was at the time
that Israel had still had
00:08:23.77\00:08:25.73
the temple that they
would carry all around.
00:08:25.77\00:08:29.67
And they actually...
00:08:29.70\00:08:31.07
Those two people were engaged
00:08:31.11\00:08:32.51
in sex right
outside of the temple.
00:08:32.54\00:08:34.58
Right out they're like,
00:08:34.61\00:08:35.94
you know,
desecrating everything.
00:08:35.98\00:08:37.71
And Phinehas came
and pretty much slew them
00:08:37.75\00:08:40.78
at the same time with a spear.
00:08:40.82\00:08:44.39
But it was in his...
00:08:44.42\00:08:46.55
In a way that, you know,
he did it to glorify God now,
00:08:46.59\00:08:49.56
obviously, I don't
recommend that to glorify God,
00:08:49.59\00:08:51.83
you go and spear somebody,
we call that murder nowadays.
00:08:51.86\00:08:55.33
But you're saying
that's one description
00:08:55.36\00:08:57.50
of how even
before Christ's death
00:08:57.53\00:09:00.97
on the cross, someway,
00:09:01.00\00:09:02.77
somehow Satan has
found a way to use,
00:09:02.80\00:09:05.97
you know, the body,
sexuality, you know, stripping,
00:09:06.01\00:09:08.34
all of that to
perverse the temple.
00:09:08.38\00:09:13.21
I know that in my experience,
00:09:13.25\00:09:14.85
being in the
military for over three years,
00:09:14.88\00:09:17.32
that the strip club,
00:09:17.35\00:09:18.69
it's a very
common place for people
00:09:18.72\00:09:21.06
to go on the weekends.
00:09:21.09\00:09:22.92
So how could someone,
maybe one of the viewers
00:09:22.96\00:09:25.63
watching this
television program right now,
00:09:25.66\00:09:28.30
how could they
politely decline an offer
00:09:28.33\00:09:30.17
to go to the strip club,
00:09:30.20\00:09:31.53
like let's say
someone from their work,
00:09:31.57\00:09:33.23
it's a
tradition, everyone's going,
00:09:33.27\00:09:35.40
maybe they're just
going for the buffet,
00:09:35.44\00:09:37.51
how can someone
decline politely an offer
00:09:37.54\00:09:40.38
to go to a strip club?
00:09:40.41\00:09:41.74
Simply saying I
don't want to go.
00:09:41.78\00:09:44.31
If the person is
persistent, they keep on saying,
00:09:44.35\00:09:46.55
"Well, you should go
because of X, Y, and Z."
00:09:46.58\00:09:48.58
You can probably say,
00:09:48.62\00:09:49.98
"Well, because of my
beliefs and because of how
00:09:50.02\00:09:51.89
I respect
myself, and I respect...
00:09:51.92\00:09:54.56
In my case, how I
respect men and their bodies,
00:09:54.59\00:09:58.13
I do not want to
be a part of this."
00:09:58.16\00:10:02.70
Simply stating
that you are a Christian
00:10:02.73\00:10:07.44
is the way to go as well.
00:10:07.47\00:10:09.00
You know, you can,
00:10:09.04\00:10:11.27
you know, you can speak
boldly about your faith.
00:10:11.31\00:10:14.58
You know, you speak
politely, of course, not,
00:10:14.61\00:10:18.58
you know, not just say,
00:10:18.61\00:10:20.12
"Oh, no, I don't go
there because I'm a Christian."
00:10:20.15\00:10:22.28
You know, and they look
at you like you're crazy.
00:10:22.32\00:10:25.75
But you can speak boldly
00:10:25.79\00:10:27.92
about not going
to certain places
00:10:27.96\00:10:29.62
due to your faith
and that it's not right.
00:10:29.66\00:10:31.76
And next thing you know,
00:10:31.79\00:10:33.13
it can open up a
door for witnessing.
00:10:33.16\00:10:36.50
That you can
just, you know, say,
00:10:36.53\00:10:38.40
"No, thank you, you
know, I'm not going go."
00:10:38.43\00:10:41.57
And then if, like Brittany said,
00:10:41.60\00:10:43.67
they persist,
then I think that's,
00:10:43.71\00:10:45.47
you know, the Lord telling
you to explain why you don't go
00:10:45.51\00:10:49.31
and so, but you don't have
to explain why off the bat,
00:10:49.34\00:10:52.51
if that's not
what you're going do,
00:10:52.55\00:10:54.52
you can just politely
say, "You know, no, thank you.
00:10:54.55\00:10:57.25
I don't go to certain places."
00:10:57.29\00:11:01.46
In my own personal experience
with declining offers to go
00:11:01.49\00:11:04.36
to strip clubs after I
gave my life to Christ,
00:11:04.39\00:11:08.00
a lot of my friends,
00:11:08.03\00:11:09.86
they would go to the strip club,
00:11:09.90\00:11:11.53
and they had a tradition
in the unit that I was at.
00:11:11.57\00:11:15.50
You know, you
take all the new guys,
00:11:15.54\00:11:17.64
and you take them
to the strip club,
00:11:17.67\00:11:19.07
and you make them
leave their wallets at home.
00:11:19.11\00:11:21.71
And so all the
people in your squad,
00:11:21.74\00:11:24.18
they'll take care
of you for the night.
00:11:24.21\00:11:26.78
They'll buy you a
drink, they'll buy you dances,
00:11:26.82\00:11:28.48
they'll pay for everything.
00:11:28.52\00:11:30.12
And when someone approached me
00:11:30.15\00:11:31.52
as the new guy at
the unit asking me to go,
00:11:31.55\00:11:34.06
like you guys all said, I
just had to politely decline.
00:11:34.09\00:11:37.13
And I didn't even
preach a sermon, I didn't...
00:11:37.16\00:11:40.00
I didn't quote the
Spirit of Prophecy,
00:11:40.03\00:11:41.50
I didn't quote any
scripture, all I told them is,
00:11:41.53\00:11:43.67
"I'm not about that life,"
00:11:43.70\00:11:45.53
and they got the
point and eventually,
00:11:45.57\00:11:47.34
they just stopped asking.
00:11:47.37\00:11:49.57
And so it's very possible
00:11:49.60\00:11:51.47
just to take a
stand for your faith
00:11:51.51\00:11:54.28
and not go to an
institution like that,
00:11:54.31\00:11:55.94
I think would be a huge
mistake to go to a strip club
00:11:55.98\00:11:59.41
to try to fit in
because you don't know
00:11:59.45\00:12:00.78
what you're
getting yourself into.
00:12:00.82\00:12:02.88
But also my next question,
00:12:02.92\00:12:04.25
well, what if
you're at a bachelor party,
00:12:04.29\00:12:06.19
you had a bachelorette party,
00:12:06.22\00:12:07.96
and you're going there
to support your friend,
00:12:07.99\00:12:09.72
someone you've
known for a long time,
00:12:09.76\00:12:11.99
maybe it's even a church member,
00:12:12.03\00:12:13.36
you don't know,
00:12:13.40\00:12:14.73
and you are surprised
by some adult entertainment
00:12:14.76\00:12:19.67
that walked to the front door,
00:12:19.70\00:12:21.24
now what would you
do in that situation?
00:12:21.27\00:12:23.51
That's a surprise all right.
00:12:23.54\00:12:26.24
That's a setup from the devil.
00:12:26.27\00:12:31.48
It's a tricky situation.
00:12:31.51\00:12:34.35
How I would probably
approach the situation
00:12:34.38\00:12:36.22
would be probably
based on how close I am
00:12:36.25\00:12:39.25
to that individual
00:12:39.29\00:12:41.39
because as we've kind
of been stating before,
00:12:41.42\00:12:44.96
stripping does have a
negative effect on you.
00:12:44.99\00:12:48.20
And I heard so
many different stories
00:12:48.23\00:12:50.80
of how the strippers
just appear out of nowhere,
00:12:50.83\00:12:53.80
nobody has a clue,
00:12:53.84\00:12:55.60
and I think if it's
one of my close friends,
00:12:55.64\00:12:57.77
even if it's one of my sisters',
00:12:57.81\00:12:59.71
I probably have to
turn off the music and say,
00:12:59.74\00:13:02.98
"I love you, and
because I love you,
00:13:03.01\00:13:05.78
we have to ask
this gentlemen to leave
00:13:05.81\00:13:07.15
because you're about to make
00:13:07.18\00:13:08.52
a very important
decision tomorrow,
00:13:08.55\00:13:10.49
and this right
here is the first step
00:13:10.52\00:13:13.29
into a downfall
before you even say I do,
00:13:13.32\00:13:16.86
and you need to
really consider this."
00:13:16.89\00:13:18.73
And that's the
decision I will make
00:13:18.76\00:13:20.30
because if I
truly love this person,
00:13:20.33\00:13:23.80
and I'm at
there to support them,
00:13:23.83\00:13:25.30
to encourage them to make
a great lifelong decision,
00:13:25.33\00:13:29.57
then they need to
start making pure choices
00:13:29.60\00:13:31.81
before they even jump the broom.
00:13:31.84\00:13:34.74
And you have to be
straight up, and say, "Okay."
00:13:34.78\00:13:38.58
If it's not someone I'm
really, really close to,
00:13:38.61\00:13:41.38
maybe not to have to
have a huge discussion,
00:13:41.42\00:13:44.95
probably pick up my
bag and slowly like,
00:13:44.99\00:13:47.72
you know, sneak out depending,
00:13:47.76\00:13:50.03
maybe it was
just a random invite,
00:13:50.06\00:13:51.53
and I was like,
"Okay, maybe I'll go."
00:13:51.56\00:13:53.19
Well, probably, knowing me,
I'll probably say something.
00:13:53.23\00:13:57.47
I think to...
00:13:57.50\00:13:58.83
It's like what Brittany said,
00:13:58.87\00:14:01.27
you know, this day
and age, they don't...
00:14:01.30\00:14:03.34
The strippers
don't come just to strip,
00:14:03.37\00:14:05.17
you know, they
call it the last hoorah.
00:14:05.21\00:14:07.21
You know, they got to sleep,
00:14:07.24\00:14:08.58
the bride or groom gets to sleep
00:14:08.61\00:14:11.11
with the individual stripper.
00:14:11.15\00:14:13.01
You know, it's the
last night, and that's just,
00:14:13.05\00:14:16.12
you're commit...
00:14:16.15\00:14:17.49
You're essentially
starting an adulterous track
00:14:17.52\00:14:20.39
before you even
start the marriage.
00:14:20.42\00:14:22.49
You know what I
mean? So I think too...
00:14:22.52\00:14:25.49
I mean, this is a
random act that happens,
00:14:25.53\00:14:27.66
but being a police chaplain,
00:14:27.70\00:14:30.27
I've been asked
if I was a stripper,
00:14:30.30\00:14:32.77
you know, I went to a call,
00:14:32.80\00:14:34.14
I remember, and
these ladies like
00:14:34.17\00:14:35.64
it's part of the culture though.
00:14:35.67\00:14:37.01
It's that
prevalent in the culture
00:14:37.04\00:14:38.41
that if you are...
00:14:38.44\00:14:40.48
If the cops are not
called you over there
00:14:40.51\00:14:42.18
because of a noise complaint,
and you're just a chaplain,
00:14:42.21\00:14:44.78
you're just there
to pray for somebody,
00:14:44.81\00:14:46.82
they'll put their hands on
you, and say, "You a stripper?"
00:14:46.85\00:14:48.42
And I'm like, "No, ma'am"
You know, and I'm thinking,
00:14:48.45\00:14:50.75
you know, I'm
trying to be a Christian,
00:14:50.79\00:14:52.12
and I say, "You
know, get off me."
00:14:52.15\00:14:53.49
But at the same time, it's like,
00:14:53.52\00:14:54.92
"Do I pray or do I run?
You know, what do I do?"
00:14:54.96\00:14:57.46
And I think it's
a very valid point
00:14:57.49\00:14:59.83
that if you get
caught in that situation,
00:14:59.86\00:15:02.76
don't immediately go on impulse,
00:15:02.80\00:15:04.67
you know, like don't
utterly reject your friends
00:15:04.70\00:15:08.44
or family members
00:15:08.47\00:15:09.80
or whoever they are,
but at the same time,
00:15:09.84\00:15:11.87
use the sermon to lovingly,
00:15:11.91\00:15:13.24
you know, remove
yourself out of that situation.
00:15:13.27\00:15:15.91
And if possible,
help whoever it is
00:15:15.94\00:15:18.41
to remove themselves as well
00:15:18.45\00:15:19.88
from committing a grave mistake.
00:15:19.91\00:15:22.32
So let me add
again, the common thread
00:15:22.35\00:15:24.32
is to remove
yourself from the situation
00:15:24.35\00:15:26.42
Yeah, you got to
get out of there.
00:15:26.45\00:15:28.42
Okay, okay.
00:15:28.46\00:15:29.79
And to transition
to our next thought.
00:15:29.82\00:15:34.30
When you do your research,
00:15:34.33\00:15:35.66
and when you look at
some of these strip clubs
00:15:35.70\00:15:38.17
and you look at some
of the different types
00:15:38.20\00:15:41.27
of strip clubs, many of them,
00:15:41.30\00:15:42.70
they don't even
show full nudity.
00:15:42.74\00:15:45.17
In some of them the top stay on,
00:15:45.21\00:15:46.57
bottom stay on,
00:15:46.61\00:15:47.94
or there are things
that are called bikini bars,
00:15:47.98\00:15:50.35
and where all the women,
00:15:50.38\00:15:51.71
they stay in
bikinis the whole time.
00:15:51.75\00:15:53.75
And even that
is sexually charged
00:15:53.78\00:15:56.35
enough to get
men to throw money,
00:15:56.38\00:15:59.12
to do all these
different things.
00:15:59.15\00:16:00.49
And so if a bikini
is so socially charged,
00:16:00.52\00:16:03.79
how can a
Christian safely navigate
00:16:03.83\00:16:06.53
what I call a
strip club by the water,
00:16:06.56\00:16:08.53
aka the beach?
00:16:08.56\00:16:11.90
Well, well, then.
00:16:11.93\00:16:13.27
How can a Christian
safely navigate the beach?
00:16:13.30\00:16:17.51
In this day and age...
00:16:17.54\00:16:18.87
I'm not sure if it's safe for,
00:16:21.91\00:16:25.31
you know, a Christian
to navigate the beach,
00:16:25.35\00:16:28.85
especially if you're struggling
00:16:28.88\00:16:30.22
with that kind
of lust or whatever
00:16:30.25\00:16:32.12
because you just
have that same element.
00:16:32.15\00:16:36.12
You know, you have people
00:16:36.16\00:16:38.09
sleeping on the
beach with tops off,
00:16:38.13\00:16:40.13
and it's just fully
exposed, and unless,
00:16:40.16\00:16:44.20
you know, there's a
section of the beach
00:16:44.23\00:16:45.73
where it doesn't look like that
00:16:45.77\00:16:47.17
or you've found
another place to go,
00:16:47.20\00:16:50.24
I don't know
00:16:50.27\00:16:51.61
if they can
navigate the beach so much.
00:16:51.64\00:16:54.88
Well, for one, they need to know
00:16:54.91\00:16:56.68
what type of
beach they're going to
00:16:56.71\00:16:58.38
'cause there's
different types of beach.
00:16:58.41\00:16:59.75
You can go to a beach
00:16:59.78\00:17:01.12
that has that's
more family-oriented
00:17:01.15\00:17:04.25
or you can go to a
beach that just have a nude.
00:17:04.29\00:17:08.06
Miami.
00:17:08.09\00:17:09.86
Because there is a nude
beach in Miami, okay, I know.
00:17:09.89\00:17:14.10
So you just want to
know your surroundings, okay?
00:17:14.13\00:17:19.80
And you want to
pick your battles.
00:17:19.83\00:17:21.44
Don't say, "Oh, well,
00:17:21.47\00:17:22.80
since we're close
to this nude beach,
00:17:22.84\00:17:24.17
let me go here."
00:17:24.21\00:17:25.54
You don't play with fire
00:17:25.57\00:17:26.91
'cause you're
going to get burned.
00:17:26.94\00:17:28.58
So I advise a
person to go to the beach
00:17:28.61\00:17:31.98
that's more family-oriented.
00:17:32.01\00:17:33.55
Yeah.
00:17:33.58\00:17:34.92
Being an island girl,
00:17:34.95\00:17:36.28
and we have so
many different beaches,
00:17:36.32\00:17:38.45
one of the things that
I could kind of say is,
00:17:38.49\00:17:42.39
as she said, know
which beach you're going to,
00:17:42.42\00:17:44.89
and actually if you
really need to have that swim,
00:17:44.93\00:17:47.66
maybe it's for
exercise or whatever purpose,
00:17:47.70\00:17:50.03
know what times to go,
like early in the morning,
00:17:50.07\00:17:53.00
it's a little bit colder,
00:17:53.03\00:17:54.37
so people are
mainly there to swim,
00:17:54.40\00:17:57.51
and you'll probably
find more older women,
00:17:57.54\00:17:59.77
and they usually
don't wear bikinis.
00:17:59.81\00:18:01.78
They usually wear
regular swim suits,
00:18:01.81\00:18:05.98
and you also
know which days to go
00:18:06.01\00:18:08.38
'cause on certain days,
that's when they probably have
00:18:08.42\00:18:10.79
the drinking, the partying,
00:18:10.82\00:18:12.62
you have to be aware and
make that wise choice of,
00:18:12.65\00:18:15.79
"Okay, I'm not
going to go at this time
00:18:15.82\00:18:17.46
because I know the
temptation that's there,
00:18:17.49\00:18:19.76
I know the type of
people will be there,
00:18:19.79\00:18:22.66
and I want to be able
to make a better choice."
00:18:22.70\00:18:26.53
That's good,
that's good, that's good.
00:18:26.57\00:18:27.90
So you have to be
aware of your surroundings,
00:18:27.94\00:18:30.24
you can't just go to any
beach because there's beaches
00:18:30.27\00:18:32.61
that allow
different levels of nudity.
00:18:32.64\00:18:35.51
Very wise, very wise.
00:18:35.54\00:18:37.15
And so when you understand
00:18:37.18\00:18:39.45
that going to
these institutions,
00:18:39.48\00:18:41.72
going to strip clubs,
or going to nude beaches,
00:18:41.75\00:18:44.19
it presents an environment
00:18:44.22\00:18:46.65
where you can objectify women
00:18:46.69\00:18:48.82
or you, as a woman,
could be objectified.
00:18:48.86\00:18:50.73
Now the question
00:18:50.76\00:18:52.09
I have is how does
it affect the person
00:18:52.13\00:18:55.30
who's doing the objectifying?
00:18:55.33\00:18:56.97
Because many times,
00:18:57.00\00:18:58.33
we talk about the
affect of the actual dancer
00:18:58.37\00:19:01.04
or the actual person
that you're lusting after,
00:19:01.07\00:19:04.11
but how does it
affect the person
00:19:04.14\00:19:05.67
who's doing the lusting?
00:19:05.71\00:19:07.58
Or does it affect them at all?
00:19:07.61\00:19:09.34
Or are they just
getting away scot-free?
00:19:09.38\00:19:11.31
Well, you know, I
remember when I used to go...
00:19:11.35\00:19:14.65
When I started getting into it,
00:19:14.68\00:19:16.79
you know, where I
live there's a strip
00:19:16.82\00:19:18.22
and there's like about three
00:19:18.25\00:19:21.39
or four strip
clubs on the strip.
00:19:21.42\00:19:23.36
And we would just go there
00:19:23.39\00:19:24.73
every weekend
and drink and stuff.
00:19:24.76\00:19:27.06
What you begin to find out
00:19:27.10\00:19:29.16
is you begin to...
00:19:29.20\00:19:33.44
It changes you in one way
00:19:33.47\00:19:34.80
'cause you begin to
desire these type of women,
00:19:34.84\00:19:36.97
so you might even
want to try date some,
00:19:37.01\00:19:39.51
you look at them
in a certain way.
00:19:39.54\00:19:41.84
For me, I started to
associate women with money,
00:19:41.88\00:19:45.31
you know, not
necessarily giving her money,
00:19:45.35\00:19:48.35
but this girl uses
her body to make money,
00:19:48.38\00:19:51.65
and that started to be okay
in my mind that this is fine
00:19:51.69\00:19:56.06
'cause maybe,
00:19:56.09\00:19:57.43
you know, then
I can use this way
00:19:57.46\00:19:59.13
to get some money too.
00:19:59.16\00:20:00.50
So I started to,
00:20:00.53\00:20:01.86
you know, I
guess look at a person
00:20:01.90\00:20:03.33
almost like an object
00:20:03.37\00:20:04.70
instead of a person
and become real selfish.
00:20:04.73\00:20:08.44
And so that's how it can
affect the person sitting there
00:20:08.47\00:20:11.57
because they're associating
00:20:11.61\00:20:15.28
sexual stimulation, money,
00:20:15.31\00:20:18.58
being used or using
somebody all in one,
00:20:18.61\00:20:21.12
and it's just all intertwined
00:20:21.15\00:20:22.55
and really
confusing in your mind.
00:20:22.58\00:20:24.35
Wow, wow, wow.
00:20:24.39\00:20:25.75
Something the biggest
way it can affect you to,
00:20:25.79\00:20:27.72
you know, at the end of the day,
00:20:27.76\00:20:29.09
most people want to
find out right person,
00:20:29.12\00:20:31.33
want to be with
the right person,
00:20:31.36\00:20:32.86
but then when that
right person comes along,
00:20:32.89\00:20:35.70
you can mess it up.
00:20:35.73\00:20:37.07
You know, you can
end up treating them
00:20:37.10\00:20:38.93
not the right way.
00:20:38.97\00:20:40.30
You know, those are
habit-building things
00:20:40.34\00:20:42.00
that you do, you know.
00:20:42.04\00:20:43.37
Everything that you do,
00:20:43.41\00:20:44.74
everything that
you put your eyes
00:20:44.77\00:20:46.11
on can
potentially create habits,
00:20:46.14\00:20:47.48
and you either have a choice,
00:20:47.51\00:20:48.84
you create
positive or negative habits.
00:20:48.88\00:20:50.71
And objectifying women,
00:20:50.75\00:20:53.08
I mean, I did that
for a living pretty much.
00:20:53.11\00:20:55.95
And I created bad habits in me
00:20:55.98\00:20:57.65
that God and I had to
work through tremendously
00:20:57.69\00:21:01.72
because, you
know, when I started,
00:21:01.76\00:21:03.93
you know, being
friends with my wife,
00:21:03.96\00:21:05.93
we're just friends at
the time and everything,
00:21:05.96\00:21:08.10
I know what I saw in my heart,
00:21:08.13\00:21:10.80
but I know what I
was supposed to see.
00:21:10.83\00:21:12.80
You know, I saw her
00:21:12.83\00:21:14.17
as another
woman, another female,
00:21:14.20\00:21:15.54
another trophy.
00:21:15.57\00:21:16.91
But in my heart,
00:21:16.94\00:21:18.27
I knew God wanted me to see her
00:21:18.31\00:21:19.64
as His daughter, as
His prized possession,
00:21:19.67\00:21:22.01
and that if He is going
to allow me to pursue her
00:21:22.04\00:21:24.98
or be with her or
accompany her anywhere,
00:21:25.01\00:21:27.75
I need to treat her in
accordance to His Word.
00:21:27.78\00:21:31.15
And you create double the
work for yourself essentially,
00:21:31.19\00:21:34.32
you know, and you never...
00:21:34.36\00:21:35.72
And unless you
conquer that from the get-go,
00:21:35.76\00:21:37.83
unless you remove
yourself from those habits,
00:21:37.86\00:21:39.96
you're going to end up alone
00:21:40.00\00:21:41.56
or, worse, with a
domestic battery charge.
00:21:41.60\00:21:44.17
Wow, wow, wow. I think...
00:21:44.20\00:21:46.74
Also it makes you a little
bit of a selfish hypocrite.
00:21:46.77\00:21:50.11
You don't mind going,
you don't mind watching,
00:21:50.14\00:21:53.21
but you don't want
your daughters to do it
00:21:53.24\00:21:55.68
or your sister to
do it, and that's...
00:21:55.71\00:21:57.95
And so if you
wouldn't want them to do it,
00:21:57.98\00:21:59.91
why do you want
00:21:59.95\00:22:01.28
somebody else's
daughter or sister,
00:22:01.32\00:22:02.65
why is it then okay?
00:22:02.68\00:22:04.02
And so what it creates
00:22:04.05\00:22:05.39
in your mind is
you can objectify,
00:22:05.42\00:22:08.22
make reasons to
get where you want,
00:22:08.26\00:22:10.43
you know, so you can
live out your lives there too.
00:22:10.46\00:22:14.26
I want to read a
quote here from Sister White
00:22:14.30\00:22:16.13
and signed to the times,
00:22:16.16\00:22:17.50
November 26,
1896, paragraph nine.
00:22:17.53\00:22:21.10
She's speaking about Solomon
and how all the objectification
00:22:21.14\00:22:25.37
and all the women he had
and the affect it had on him.
00:22:25.41\00:22:29.28
She writes and I quote,
00:22:29.31\00:22:30.65
"And it came to
pass when Solomon was old
00:22:30.68\00:22:32.91
that his wives turned
his heart after other gods,
00:22:32.95\00:22:35.68
and his heart was not
perfect with the Lord his God.
00:22:35.72\00:22:38.35
From being one of
the greatest kings
00:22:38.39\00:22:39.89
that ever wielded a scepter,
00:22:39.92\00:22:41.39
whose exalted wisdom
00:22:41.42\00:22:42.76
made him renown
throughout the world,
00:22:42.79\00:22:44.46
Solomon became
profligate and intemperate,
00:22:44.49\00:22:47.20
the tool and slave of others,
00:22:47.23\00:22:49.70
his character once noble
00:22:49.73\00:22:51.07
and manly became
enervated and effeminate."
00:22:51.10\00:22:55.10
Became enervated and effeminate.
00:22:55.14\00:22:58.71
And so even in
the story of Solomon,
00:22:58.74\00:23:01.21
we can see that objectification.
00:23:01.24\00:23:04.41
And the more you do it,
the more you want to do it,
00:23:04.45\00:23:06.88
and in Solomon's
case, he did it a lot.
00:23:06.92\00:23:09.92
And towards the end of his life,
00:23:09.95\00:23:12.09
Sister White tells us
that he became effeminate.
00:23:12.12\00:23:16.12
And, you know,
that's just how sin works.
00:23:16.16\00:23:18.56
The devil offers you a
check that's going to bounce.
00:23:18.59\00:23:23.00
It looks shiny, it's golden,
it has all the trimmings,
00:23:23.03\00:23:26.37
you know, the devil tells
you the more women you have,
00:23:26.40\00:23:28.50
the more of a man you are.
00:23:28.54\00:23:30.51
And we read in
the case of Solomon
00:23:30.54\00:23:31.87
that the more women he had,
the more of a woman he became.
00:23:31.91\00:23:34.84
And so one of our
final questions for today
00:23:38.48\00:23:41.52
will be can a
couple include stripping
00:23:41.55\00:23:44.89
in their lovemaking session?
00:23:44.92\00:23:48.29
No.
00:23:48.32\00:23:49.66
Wow, you answered
00:23:49.69\00:23:51.03
that rather
quickly, can you explain?
00:23:51.06\00:23:52.66
Well, for one, I
was a former dancer,
00:23:52.69\00:23:57.57
and now that I am a
new creature in Christ,
00:23:57.60\00:24:01.90
I should not take that
these that were perverted
00:24:01.94\00:24:04.44
in my past to my future
00:24:04.47\00:24:07.44
or, you know, to my
marriage, my relationship,
00:24:07.48\00:24:11.21
like I wouldn't do
those type of thing.
00:24:11.25\00:24:15.02
Okay, well, I have a
couple of follow up questions,
00:24:15.05\00:24:16.58
and then, do you
believe it is okay
00:24:16.62\00:24:18.52
for a husband to
watch his wife undress?
00:24:18.55\00:24:20.66
Most definitely.
Yes, why not? I think...
00:24:20.69\00:24:23.09
Yeah, I think undressing
00:24:23.12\00:24:25.43
and somebody is
stripping for you
00:24:25.46\00:24:27.30
is kind of two different things.
00:24:27.33\00:24:28.66
Right.
00:24:28.70\00:24:30.03
'Cause the woman wouldn't
be putting on a performance.
00:24:30.07\00:24:31.40
That's a performance,
00:24:31.43\00:24:32.77
you know, the stripping
is really a performance
00:24:32.80\00:24:34.37
that they're putting on,
and it creates an open door
00:24:34.40\00:24:37.84
because he's
watching his wife do it,
00:24:37.87\00:24:40.54
and so what happens
when he flicks on the channel
00:24:40.58\00:24:44.15
or gets invited to
a club, like you said,
00:24:44.18\00:24:46.21
and he sees somebody
does it better than his worth.
00:24:46.25\00:24:48.75
You know, he might go...
00:24:48.78\00:24:50.12
He might start
to like that more.
00:24:50.15\00:24:51.49
When he goes home,
he might tell his wife,
00:24:51.52\00:24:53.22
"You know, I've seen this,
00:24:53.25\00:24:54.59
and you should do
it like this now."
00:24:54.62\00:24:57.23
I think it'll open
up a door for the Satan
00:24:57.26\00:25:00.03
and the devil to
creep in and do some things
00:25:00.06\00:25:01.80
that are unholy
in their marriage.
00:25:01.83\00:25:03.77
Right. Because the woman...
00:25:03.80\00:25:05.13
If the husband tells his wife
that, how would the wife feel?
00:25:05.17\00:25:09.44
You know, she'll be like,
"I thought I was doing okay,
00:25:09.47\00:25:13.64
you know, to please my husband."
00:25:13.68\00:25:15.28
And then it
will make you wonder,
00:25:15.31\00:25:16.64
"What are you doing
outside of the home?
00:25:16.68\00:25:19.11
Where are you
getting this from?"
00:25:19.15\00:25:20.98
You know, a woman's
mind will start to wonder,
00:25:21.02\00:25:23.32
and then she would think,
00:25:23.35\00:25:24.69
"Does my husband
accept me the way I am?"
00:25:24.72\00:25:27.26
So it'll bring
confusion inside the marriage.
00:25:27.29\00:25:29.19
Okay, okay.
00:25:29.22\00:25:30.56
And I know you said
00:25:30.59\00:25:31.93
that you used to
be a former dancer,
00:25:31.96\00:25:33.29
and so the next
question I have is
00:25:33.33\00:25:35.23
and we've all made
mistakes in our past,
00:25:35.26\00:25:38.63
many of them are sexual.
00:25:38.67\00:25:40.04
And so how can we be careful
00:25:40.07\00:25:43.51
not to allow our
past mistakes to affect us
00:25:43.54\00:25:47.11
and what we allow
and what we don't allow
00:25:47.14\00:25:50.15
in a healthy
marriage relationship?
00:25:50.18\00:25:54.22
Well, for one, in my experience,
00:25:54.25\00:25:58.22
I had to be
mindful of the things I do
00:25:58.25\00:26:01.62
when it comes
down to my marriage,
00:26:01.66\00:26:03.12
especially taking
things from the past
00:26:03.16\00:26:05.79
and bringing it in, okay?
00:26:05.83\00:26:08.46
I've made mistakes...
00:26:08.50\00:26:10.87
Better yet, I'll ask my husband,
00:26:10.90\00:26:13.50
you know, what he likes
and what he doesn't like,
00:26:13.54\00:26:17.54
or we also had counseling,
00:26:17.57\00:26:20.84
and we've got things
out of the Bible itself,
00:26:20.88\00:26:25.31
what's appropriate
00:26:25.35\00:26:26.68
and what's not
appropriate, okay?
00:26:26.72\00:26:29.08
So and to be honest,
00:26:29.12\00:26:32.09
I want the Lord
in my bedroom, okay?
00:26:32.12\00:26:35.52
I do.
00:26:35.56\00:26:36.89
I want him to bless my marriage.
00:26:36.93\00:26:38.69
I don't want the devil to have
00:26:38.73\00:26:40.30
not even a little bit
of room to just creep in
00:26:40.33\00:26:42.73
and cause confusion
between me and my spouse.
00:26:42.76\00:26:47.37
I think there's some things
00:26:47.40\00:26:48.74
that are
definitely just okay to do
00:26:48.77\00:26:51.67
and that are
differently not okay,
00:26:51.71\00:26:53.31
but even in those things
00:26:53.34\00:26:54.68
that are okay, you don't want...
00:26:54.71\00:26:56.85
Every person is
different as past experiences
00:26:56.88\00:26:59.08
that you don't want to
trigger or have bring up by,
00:26:59.11\00:27:02.18
you know, doing those
things in your marriage as well.
00:27:02.22\00:27:04.52
So you guys have
to have communication
00:27:04.55\00:27:06.45
and talk about things.
00:27:06.49\00:27:07.82
Thank you for those comments.
I really appreciated that.
00:27:07.86\00:27:10.53
And I think the common thread
00:27:10.56\00:27:11.89
we can find throughout
what they just said about
00:27:11.93\00:27:14.13
what should be allowed
00:27:14.16\00:27:15.50
and what should not
be in the marriage bed
00:27:15.53\00:27:17.27
is keeping Christ at the center.
00:27:17.30\00:27:20.17
And Christ has the right.
00:27:20.20\00:27:21.54
He has the authority to be
00:27:21.57\00:27:22.90
the center of our relationships.
00:27:22.94\00:27:24.27
He has the right
to be in our bedrooms.
00:27:24.31\00:27:26.61
As 1 Corinthians 6:20 says,
00:27:26.64\00:27:29.78
"For ye are bought with a price,
00:27:29.81\00:27:31.85
therefore,
glorify God in your body
00:27:31.88\00:27:34.55
and in your
spirit, which are God's."
00:27:34.58\00:27:38.39
And so God does not
ask us to do these things
00:27:38.42\00:27:41.36
without the right.
00:27:41.39\00:27:45.56
That's all the
time we have for today.
00:27:45.59\00:27:47.86
Thank you for joining us
00:27:47.90\00:27:49.23
for another
episode of Pure Choices.
00:27:49.26\00:27:51.87
Keep Christ at the center
of your life, live for Him,
00:27:51.90\00:27:55.90
and remember to
make pure choices.
00:27:55.94\00:27:59.54