The following program
discusses sensitive issues.
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Parents are
cautioned that some material
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may be too candid
for younger children.
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Welcome to Pure Choices. I
am your host Timothy Lawson.
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We have an amazing
program for you today.
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Well, before we get into
that, I want to start off
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and introduce some of my friends
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in our panel that we have here.
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To my right, we
have Xavier Morales.
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And, Xavier, who is this
young lady right next to you?
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This is my beautiful,
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intelligent wife
Brittany Hill-Morales.
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Brittany Hill-Morales.
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And this is Jacques LaGuerre
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and this is a
very special person
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near and dear to my heart,
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this is my lovely
wife Myesha Lawson.
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Amen.
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"He that findeth a
wife findeth a good thing."
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Amen.
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Now on this program today,
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we're gonna talk
about fornication
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and what it has to do
with our spirituality.
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Just what is,
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how does
fornication directly impact
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our relationship with God.
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But before we get into that,
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let's say exactly
what fornication is.
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On this program
we're talking about
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that fornication
is premarital sex.
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And before we get
too deep into that,
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we want to pray first
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and ask the Lord's
blessing to be on our show.
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So would you bow
your heads with me?
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Dear kind and
gracious Heavenly Father,
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we ask that You
guide our discussion
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and guide our topic
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so that we will hear words
from You in Jesus' name, amen.
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Amen. Amen.
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So when we speak
about fornication,
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we're talking about sex outside
of the marriage covenant,
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either by two people who
are not married or a person
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who is married with somebody
who they're not married too,
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that's what we
are talking about.
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And we want to go right
into our first question.
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Our first question is what
is God's will for our lives?
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And I'm gonna need some help
from you guys with that one.
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What is God's
ultimate will for our lives?
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What does He want from us?
What does He want to do to us?
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He wants
obedience. He wants obedience?
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Yes. Okay, all right.
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He wants us to love
Him, to really worship Him,
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you know, just to
serve Him completely.
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Right. Anybody else?
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You want to chime
in God's ultimate will.
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I think it's
God's will for our life
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that we reflect His character
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and so that other
people can see Christ in us.
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I love that answer.
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Reflect His character
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so that other people
can see Christ in us,
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and that ties
directly in to the verse
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that is gonna
answer our question.
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The Bible says, "For
this is the will of God,
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even your sanctification."
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And so the Bible calls God,
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a Holy God and he
wants us to make holy beings
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and what sin did is it destroyed
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this image of God.
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But what is
beautiful about that verse
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that ties
directly into our topic
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is the latter end
of that verse says,
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"That you would have
stayed from fornication."
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And now I find that
tremendously interesting
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that in the same breath, in
the same verse that God says
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"This is My will," He
brings up fornication.
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Now when God
wants to sanctify us,
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there is another characteristic
or a part of His image
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as where that
goes along with it.
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What do you guys think
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that is that always
ties into sanctification,
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it's never apart from it?
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Brittany, I want to go to you,
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I want you to
answer this one for me.
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When I think of God's character
and Him being a holy God,
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that element of
loving Him and serving Him
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that those true forms
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of worshipping God and how that,
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He wants that to be
part of our character
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to resemble holiness.
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And I think of an
example with my mom.
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I love my mom. I care for her.
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And, on like
days like Mother's Day
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because I love her,
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I would probably go
out, travel and probably
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the entire city
of Antigua back home,
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or probably
what I did last year,
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I called all the
different florists
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and I was like, "Can
you take an American card,
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I would like to
leave a flowers to my mom?"
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And I do those
things because I love her.
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And it's a same thing
with God, when you love Him
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and your character
is becoming more holy,
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and it's becoming
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more of what He
would want like us to be.
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We want to do
things that will please Him
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and truly show our
dedication and appreciation
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for who He is and
what He does for us.
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Well, that was
a beautiful story.
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That just tied in everything.
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God making us
holy also has to do
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with His love.
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You know, there is a
verse in 1 Thessalonians 3:12
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and 13 says that
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"As we abound actually in love,
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we increase in holiness."
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And so the two
are never separated,
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they're always
together but since God wants us
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to make us these
loving holy beings,
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what parts of us does
He want to do that to?
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Is it just our
minds? Is it just our feet?
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Is it just our arms?
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Is it just our
hearts? It's our hearts.
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It's our
hearts? It's our hearts.
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I think he talks
about it too where,
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you know, we give every member
of our body into holiness.
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Yeah.
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One of the
biggest detriments is,
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you know, you
mention fornication,
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you know, like we have
to give every aspect of us,
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every part of our being,
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physically and
psychologically to Him
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that it may be
presented holy on to Him.
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Every part of
our being. Perfect.
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That's what I like, Tim,
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and I believe what
Christ really wants,
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like deep down
inside, He wants our heart.
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You know, 'cause Matthew 5 says,
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"Blessed are the pure in
heart, for they shall see God."
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And the Bible also says that
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"Out of the
abundance of the heart
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the mouth speaketh."
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And so if God has our heart
and He's changing our heart
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and He's giving
us a heart of flesh
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instead of a heart of stone,
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then all of these works
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in our
obedience and our actions,
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they all flow
out of a pure heart
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because that's
what God has given us.
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So you're
saying, God wants to...
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Every member and
you're saying for God
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to sanctify every member,
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He first has to have the heart,
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the controlling factor.
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Now let's not forget that.
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Everybody, remember that
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and we jump right
into our next question.
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What did God make the body for?
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There's a particular Bible verse
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that says the body
is not for fornication
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but for something else?
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Does anybody know?
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What does God make the body for?
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It says, it's for Him. Yeah.
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Okay. He made it for the Lord.
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So God didn't make
the body for fornication,
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He made it for the Lord.
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So when God's
trying to sanctify us,
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when He's trying
to perfect our wills,
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what He wants to
do is get to our minds
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because our body
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is just an
expression of what's inside.
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You see?
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So we can't
understand God's love,
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unless we have His
love in our hearts.
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Right.
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And if we are out there
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or if we are involved
in things with our body,
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may be fornicating
and premarital sex,
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it shows that we have a
distorted picture of reality
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of what God's
love is in our hearts.
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And so the body, the
outward, our physical presence
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is only a
manifestation of what's inside.
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Now I want to
ask another question
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and we can take
some time on this.
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How does
fornication affect our ability
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to live out God's
commandments of love?
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Well, first, I start off
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what are God's
commandments of love?
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They're broken
down into two parts,
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who're we supposed to love?
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"Love God with
all of your heart."
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"Love God with
all of our heart?"
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And there is another.
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"And love your
neighbor as yourself."
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"And love your
neighbor as ourself."
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Now this is
supposed to be where?
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In our toes or is this supposed
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to be in our
hearts or in our minds?
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What do you think? Both.
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Both.
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And so when God puts
that love in my mind,
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then it gets manifested
in the physical world.
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And so fornication is
one of the biggest examples,
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I guess we could say
that this isn't happening.
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And I want to talk about
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just how fornication
affects our spirituality.
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I know that when I struggle
with this a lot of times,
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it wouldn't be
that, may be necessarily,
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I said I just hated God
or anything or denounce God,
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but it gave me a
disinterest in spiritual things.
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It does that.
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As I think about just where...
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As we talked about
before, loving God, worshiping,
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wanting to serve Him,
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when you start doing things
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that is not in relation
to what God wants for us,
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you start, you know,
stepping back away from Him.
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"Okay, God, I know
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that you want me to
wait until marriage,
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but I really love
him, I really like him,
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I think he is the one"
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and we're gonna
get married anyways,
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so why not.
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But as you start engaging,
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you start pushing
further and further away,
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you don't do your
devotion every morning
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like you used to do.
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You used to go to
church for Sabbath school,
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may be I'll go
for divine worship
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or may be I'll go just
in time for the sermon.
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Like, you slowly
start doing things
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that is not really,
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how it was before
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because you know
you're doing something
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that's not what
God wants for you
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and that guilt
starts coming over you,
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that "Okay, I know I
shouldn't be doing this
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but he's so
good, but then, Lord,
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I love you too"
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and then you feel
this guilt that may be
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that's even why some
people don't go to church
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because they have
that guilt and that shame.
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I know I'm not
supposed to, but yet, it's fun.
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But, yeah, I love
guy and it's like that,
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you know, twist and
turn trying to figure out
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what exactly it is I
am supposed to be doing.
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And it's almost like
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when we're engaged
in that pivotal moment
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that we're not loving
our neighbor as ourself
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because we're not being selfless
00:10:07.77\00:10:10.64
but we're being selfish.
00:10:10.67\00:10:12.37
We desire something from them
00:10:12.41\00:10:14.11
and sometimes it can
affect on how we view God.
00:10:14.14\00:10:16.91
We could think God's
keeping something away from us.
00:10:16.95\00:10:19.28
Has anybody experienced that?
00:10:19.31\00:10:20.72
Or known people
that because they want,
00:10:20.75\00:10:25.79
you know, to engage
in fornication so much,
00:10:25.82\00:10:27.99
it directly
affects how they think God
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is managing their life.
00:10:30.13\00:10:32.56
Well, when you
get into sexual sin
00:10:32.59\00:10:35.96
and when you get
into just sin in general,
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you begin to fall in
love if I can use that word.
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And then when you go to church
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or when you do
devotion every now
00:10:42.97\00:10:44.87
and then or when
you read your Bible,
00:10:44.91\00:10:46.78
and you read that
00:10:46.81\00:10:48.14
God doesn't want you to do this,
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God is asking you to do,
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not do something that
you really like doing.
00:10:51.68\00:10:54.38
And so now, you
see God as a parent
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who's trying to
take something away
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from you that's good
instead of as a parent
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who's trying to keep you away
00:11:00.89\00:11:02.22
from something that's dangerous.
00:11:02.26\00:11:04.03
And especially with fornication,
00:11:04.06\00:11:06.33
like what Brittany was saying
00:11:06.36\00:11:08.16
that it's selfish
and it's not selfless.
00:11:08.20\00:11:11.53
And you're racked
with all this guilt,
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and all this shame,
and all this remorse,
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and even if you do end
up marrying that person,
00:11:15.04\00:11:17.87
you have associated sex
with sin, and shame, and guilt
00:11:17.91\00:11:23.71
that there is many people
who even when they're married,
00:11:23.75\00:11:25.91
they can't really enjoy
sex the way God wants them to
00:11:25.95\00:11:29.52
because they
did it the wrong way
00:11:29.55\00:11:31.85
and in the wrong
time for so long.
00:11:31.89\00:11:33.69
Wow! Wow!
00:11:33.72\00:11:36.36
And I think too what
people don't understand
00:11:36.39\00:11:38.76
is that God is not
just a father figure
00:11:38.79\00:11:42.33
that's just, you
know, tries to put you down.
00:11:42.36\00:11:44.93
He is the one that made you,
00:11:44.97\00:11:46.80
so He knows how
you gonna function,
00:11:46.84\00:11:48.67
meaning that, even
science, regular science,
00:11:48.70\00:11:51.51
you know, non-Christian science
is proving the fact that,
00:11:51.54\00:11:53.91
you know, when you
have fornication part of you
00:11:53.94\00:11:55.91
literally goes, you
know, part of your DNA goes,
00:11:55.94\00:11:59.01
you know, intermixes
with the other person
00:11:59.05\00:12:00.48
that you're fornicating with,
00:12:00.52\00:12:01.95
so He already has seen,
00:12:01.98\00:12:04.52
you know, He put that in place
00:12:04.55\00:12:05.92
because He knows physiologically
00:12:05.95\00:12:07.46
and
psychologically, there is more,
00:12:07.49\00:12:09.39
you know, there
is a huge detriment
00:12:09.42\00:12:11.06
to your system, to your body,
00:12:11.09\00:12:12.43
to the way you
think, to the way you act.
00:12:12.46\00:12:13.80
You know, now,
00:12:13.83\00:12:15.16
you're gonna
associate the word love
00:12:15.20\00:12:17.23
with intermixing it with lust.
00:12:17.27\00:12:19.27
When it is
intermixing with fornication,
00:12:19.30\00:12:21.17
and then anytime you need love,
00:12:21.20\00:12:23.47
you're gonna go out and
find somebody to give you
00:12:23.51\00:12:25.24
that physical love
00:12:25.27\00:12:26.61
rather than the
spiritual aspect of it.
00:12:26.64\00:12:29.14
Wow! I like to say something.
00:12:29.18\00:12:32.05
It was amazing what
you just said how...
00:12:32.08\00:12:34.95
The Bible says that
"Two shall become one."
00:12:34.98\00:12:37.59
And so when you're
giving someone your body,
00:12:37.62\00:12:40.16
you're giving
them a piece of you,
00:12:40.19\00:12:41.82
you're taking a
piece of them as well.
00:12:41.86\00:12:43.86
But when you're doing it,
the way God didn't design it,
00:12:43.89\00:12:47.76
there can be
consequences to that, you know.
00:12:47.80\00:12:50.53
There's a lot of scarring,
you're scarring yourself,
00:12:50.57\00:12:53.67
you know, so when we do things
00:12:53.70\00:12:55.37
the way God
designed us to do it,
00:12:55.40\00:12:57.64
it's so much better,
you know, it's so much...
00:12:57.67\00:12:59.97
It's beautiful, you
know, and the way...
00:13:00.01\00:13:01.78
I just love the way
00:13:01.81\00:13:03.14
'cause the way
He designed things,
00:13:03.18\00:13:04.51
He's a mathematical,
00:13:04.55\00:13:05.88
you know, He is a great teacher,
00:13:05.91\00:13:07.48
He's an awesome God.
00:13:07.52\00:13:08.85
So I just like the way
that you broke that down.
00:13:08.88\00:13:11.22
It was amazing.
That's beautiful.
00:13:11.25\00:13:15.02
I love that point.
00:13:15.06\00:13:16.76
And so it seems like
kind of what you're saying
00:13:16.79\00:13:19.63
is when I engage in fornication,
00:13:19.66\00:13:23.26
it really is gonna distort
00:13:23.30\00:13:25.33
my reality of
what I think love is
00:13:25.37\00:13:28.10
and what I think a marriage
should be in a partnership.
00:13:28.14\00:13:32.11
And even, what I
think my relationship
00:13:32.14\00:13:34.11
with God should be.
00:13:34.14\00:13:35.48
I think he should, you
know, give me what this wants
00:13:35.51\00:13:37.65
'cause like you
said, I'm in love now,
00:13:37.68\00:13:39.81
you know, but then now,
00:13:39.85\00:13:41.18
I know, I am
doing something wrong.
00:13:41.22\00:13:42.85
And so now, I am gonna
be in this almost circle
00:13:42.88\00:13:45.85
this whirlwind
trying to justify my actions
00:13:45.89\00:13:48.99
in such a way
00:13:49.02\00:13:50.36
where I am
distorting the beautiful stuff
00:13:50.39\00:13:54.23
as you put that God has for me.
00:13:54.26\00:13:56.67
And so, okay,
I'm in fornication,
00:13:56.70\00:14:00.90
I see that it's
distorting my reality,
00:14:00.94\00:14:02.90
I see it's
affecting my spirituality.
00:14:02.94\00:14:05.24
Is it broken now? Is
there any way I can fix it?
00:14:05.27\00:14:08.51
Can I do something different now
00:14:08.54\00:14:11.28
to mend this relationship?
00:14:11.31\00:14:13.55
What do you guys think?
00:14:13.58\00:14:14.92
I think you should start
off with recognizing your sins,
00:14:14.95\00:14:19.15
you know, and the
things that you're doing
00:14:19.19\00:14:22.22
because you want to realize
00:14:22.26\00:14:23.59
what is separating you from God.
00:14:23.63\00:14:25.46
He never left us.
We're leaving Him.
00:14:25.49\00:14:28.73
So personally, I've
been through this before
00:14:28.76\00:14:33.03
and I went into a
state of depression.
00:14:33.07\00:14:35.14
And, you know, the devil,
00:14:35.17\00:14:36.50
he always like to
whisper things in your ear,
00:14:36.54\00:14:38.07
you know, that your
God is not there for you,
00:14:38.11\00:14:41.94
you're not a Christian,
you know, all these things,
00:14:41.98\00:14:44.88
you're doing
this, you're doing that.
00:14:44.91\00:14:46.35
Well, the Lord is good
00:14:46.38\00:14:48.88
because we're able
to go to Him as we are.
00:14:48.92\00:14:53.99
And we should fast and
we should pray for this
00:14:54.02\00:14:56.93
because it's a stronghold.
00:14:56.96\00:14:59.19
And so, yes, the Lord,
00:14:59.23\00:15:00.93
He wants us to
come to Him, broken,
00:15:00.96\00:15:03.67
you know, so He can fix,
00:15:03.70\00:15:05.03
and He can mould us and heal us.
00:15:05.07\00:15:07.74
So yes, I believe
00:15:07.77\00:15:09.10
that we can be restored to
God because He never left us.
00:15:09.14\00:15:11.51
He's always there for us.
00:15:11.54\00:15:14.44
Jacques, Jacq,
what are some steps
00:15:14.48\00:15:17.81
that you've seen
somebody else take
00:15:17.85\00:15:20.18
or you may have taken
yourself, you know, finding out
00:15:20.22\00:15:23.92
they had a severed
relationship with the Lord
00:15:23.95\00:15:26.52
and involved in fornication.
00:15:26.55\00:15:27.89
What are some steps
00:15:27.92\00:15:29.26
they started
making back to reform?
00:15:29.29\00:15:30.99
Well, in my own
personal experience,
00:15:31.03\00:15:32.83
when I came back to the Lord,
00:15:32.86\00:15:34.23
I was involved in that lifestyle
00:15:34.26\00:15:37.27
with fornication
00:15:37.30\00:15:38.63
and with an
addiction to pornography,
00:15:38.67\00:15:40.34
and one thing I
had to do was get,
00:15:40.37\00:15:42.50
ask God one to help
me to hate what I loved.
00:15:42.54\00:15:47.98
And I think that's
one of the first steps.
00:15:48.01\00:15:49.48
It's claiming the
promise that found in Genesis,
00:15:49.51\00:15:52.75
take the first
promise of the Bible,
00:15:52.78\00:15:54.78
where He says "I
will give you enmity."
00:15:54.82\00:15:57.59
So I had to learn to
hate what I once loved.
00:15:57.62\00:16:00.89
And then once that happened,
00:16:00.92\00:16:02.92
I ask God to reeducate
me on what sex really is
00:16:02.96\00:16:06.56
because I feel like the best way
00:16:06.59\00:16:08.70
to fight the devil and
his lies is with God's truth.
00:16:08.73\00:16:12.43
And so personally,
00:16:12.47\00:16:13.84
I started reading
the Song of Solomon
00:16:13.87\00:16:15.47
and I started learning
what the Bible says about sex,
00:16:15.50\00:16:18.71
and I started reading
more and reading letters
00:16:18.74\00:16:21.94
to young lovers by Ellen White,
00:16:21.98\00:16:23.91
reading
testimonies on sexual behavior
00:16:23.95\00:16:27.32
and all these different books
00:16:27.35\00:16:28.92
so that I get reeducated
on what sex really is.
00:16:28.95\00:16:32.55
And what it really
is in God's really plan.
00:16:32.59\00:16:35.49
All right, we spoke earlier,
00:16:35.52\00:16:36.86
you said, God wants
to make us in His image,
00:16:36.89\00:16:39.39
and when He decided to do that,
00:16:39.43\00:16:40.76
He decided to make us
male and female in His plan,
00:16:40.80\00:16:43.87
He incorporated
sex in His plan for us
00:16:43.90\00:16:46.57
to be in His image.
00:16:46.60\00:16:48.17
So now that I have fornicated,
it's affecting my spirituality
00:16:48.20\00:16:51.67
and, Brittany, this
question is going to you.
00:16:51.71\00:16:53.78
Now I am married,
and so like before,
00:16:53.81\00:16:56.11
you know, I've
been in this lifestyle,
00:16:56.14\00:16:57.65
I have the guilt
and shame mixed in.
00:16:57.68\00:16:59.85
How do I separate the
lust and the guilt and shame,
00:16:59.88\00:17:03.52
and now coming to
oneness with my spouse to where,
00:17:03.55\00:17:09.16
instead of being fornication her
00:17:09.19\00:17:10.89
to my spirituality,
00:17:10.93\00:17:12.29
it say, love relationship
00:17:12.33\00:17:14.56
and it's actually
boosting my spirituality.
00:17:14.60\00:17:17.97
As I think about being
married to my loving husband,
00:17:18.00\00:17:23.10
there's so much beauty in
sex as married couple versus
00:17:23.14\00:17:29.11
fornication outside of
that beautiful covenant
00:17:29.14\00:17:31.81
that God has in place.
00:17:31.85\00:17:33.18
And I think that's what
we need to also remember.
00:17:33.21\00:17:35.58
Sex isn't bad, sex is wonderful.
00:17:35.62\00:17:38.85
It's when you're
trying to do it outside
00:17:38.89\00:17:40.29
of what God intended
and created it to be.
00:17:40.32\00:17:43.12
Like there are so
many young couples,
00:17:43.16\00:17:45.83
they're in love with each other,
00:17:45.86\00:17:47.70
they really care for
each other, they're like,
00:17:47.73\00:17:49.76
"Okay, this is our
expression of intimacy"
00:17:49.80\00:17:52.50
but you're not
married yet, you're not there.
00:17:52.53\00:17:54.97
So you need to spend that time
00:17:55.00\00:17:56.77
actually getting
to know each other
00:17:56.81\00:17:58.84
and that's what I love
about Xavier and myself.
00:17:58.87\00:18:01.41
We spent like two years
00:18:01.44\00:18:04.11
and because we
weren't engaging in sex,
00:18:04.15\00:18:06.35
we were actually
getting to know each other
00:18:06.38\00:18:08.48
on a different level.
00:18:08.52\00:18:09.85
And I could actually be
able to safely say, yes,
00:18:09.88\00:18:13.02
I do want to marry him.
00:18:13.05\00:18:14.39
In relationship,
00:18:14.42\00:18:15.76
I was in before
because we were engaging.
00:18:15.79\00:18:18.66
All like the
red flags were there
00:18:18.69\00:18:20.93
but I couldn't see it
because when you have sex,
00:18:20.96\00:18:23.10
you have that chemical release
that allows you to intermingle
00:18:23.13\00:18:27.04
and to
intertwine with that person,
00:18:27.07\00:18:29.04
and to care for that
person on a different level.
00:18:29.07\00:18:32.01
So because of
that I wasn't able see
00:18:32.04\00:18:34.08
all the red flags,
00:18:34.11\00:18:35.44
but when we stopped
'cause we were like,
00:18:35.48\00:18:37.18
you know, Lord wants us to stop,
00:18:37.21\00:18:38.55
we need to be on the
right and narrow path,
00:18:38.58\00:18:41.45
I mean, to straighten our path.
00:18:41.48\00:18:42.98
As soon as we stopped,
00:18:43.02\00:18:44.65
it was like all the red
flags started appearing.
00:18:44.69\00:18:47.32
It's started coming
clear and I was like,
00:18:47.36\00:18:49.86
"Wait, we probably
shouldn't be together."
00:18:49.89\00:18:52.73
And a few months later,
issue was over, terminated,
00:18:52.76\00:18:55.10
done with.
00:18:55.13\00:18:56.46
Wow! Wow!
00:18:56.50\00:18:57.83
And that's
basically, really how it is
00:18:57.87\00:18:59.83
because, you may be like, okay,
00:18:59.87\00:19:01.20
it is a formal expression
but you may be lined it
00:19:01.24\00:19:04.21
with what really is
happening in that relationship
00:19:04.24\00:19:07.24
because God
intended for the chemicals
00:19:07.28\00:19:10.51
that are being released to make
00:19:10.55\00:19:12.11
that relationship tighter,
to bring you guys closer,
00:19:12.15\00:19:15.75
to make it go deeper
and it's worship to Him.
00:19:15.78\00:19:19.09
So when you're
engaging before you're married,
00:19:19.12\00:19:21.76
you're just setting yourself up
00:19:21.79\00:19:23.12
because you don't really
know who you are bonding with,
00:19:23.16\00:19:25.66
who you're becoming one with.
00:19:25.69\00:19:28.13
So it's damaging a little bit
00:19:28.16\00:19:31.37
when you do it
before you get married
00:19:31.40\00:19:33.07
and it's also blinding.
00:19:33.10\00:19:34.80
So have you seen that
in other relationships
00:19:34.84\00:19:37.14
in other couples
00:19:37.17\00:19:38.51
where it actually your
emotions and your thoughts,
00:19:38.54\00:19:40.88
you get real blinded
and you get real damaged?
00:19:40.91\00:19:43.18
I mean, I've been
through in the past,
00:19:43.21\00:19:44.55
you know, and
that's the issue there.
00:19:44.58\00:19:46.85
I've faced that guilt,
00:19:46.88\00:19:48.22
you know, that
when I used to talked
00:19:48.25\00:19:49.58
about that guilt
because essentially,
00:19:49.62\00:19:51.59
you know, I know
God is gonna provide
00:19:51.62\00:19:52.95
the right spouse
for me, yes, He did.
00:19:52.99\00:19:54.72
But in that process,
00:19:54.76\00:19:56.62
when I know she
is the right one,
00:19:56.66\00:19:58.99
I felt guilty 'cause I was like,
00:19:59.03\00:20:00.63
I'm bringing all
this baggage with me,
00:20:00.66\00:20:02.66
you know.
00:20:02.70\00:20:04.03
Yes, God restores,
00:20:04.07\00:20:05.77
but your mind
doesn't get erased.
00:20:05.80\00:20:08.00
You know, the damage
that you've done to it.
00:20:08.04\00:20:09.57
Yes, God removed
00:20:09.60\00:20:10.94
that emotional aspect
of that hurt and heals you
00:20:10.97\00:20:14.58
but you still have
that in your subconscious
00:20:14.61\00:20:16.64
where you remember the
people that you were with,
00:20:16.68\00:20:19.78
you know, how is
that fair to your wife,
00:20:19.81\00:20:22.68
how is that fair to your spouse.
00:20:22.72\00:20:24.42
And furthermore, you know,
God created us in His image
00:20:24.45\00:20:26.89
to the point where,
we have this gift of sex.
00:20:26.92\00:20:30.43
We're able to procreate.
00:20:30.46\00:20:33.03
It's a form of creation. Right.
00:20:33.06\00:20:34.80
You know, God is the creator
00:20:34.83\00:20:36.23
and He gave us the
ability to procreate.
00:20:36.26\00:20:38.67
You know, it's a form
of godliness to be able
00:20:38.70\00:20:42.00
to reproduce, to
create a new life.
00:20:42.04\00:20:44.21
We have been
given this great honor,
00:20:44.24\00:20:47.28
to be able to create life.
00:20:47.31\00:20:48.64
And we often just
wasted all just to have more,
00:20:48.68\00:20:53.08
you know, more kids out
there or even just wasted.
00:20:53.11\00:20:55.75
You know, it's a beautiful thing
00:20:55.78\00:20:57.12
to be able to be,
you know, in this oneness
00:20:57.15\00:20:59.82
where we got be able to create
like He does in that form.
00:20:59.85\00:21:03.99
I like that you said
the creation part of it is
00:21:04.03\00:21:07.26
the same as godliness.
00:21:07.30\00:21:09.60
You know, really just
showing how in reality,
00:21:09.63\00:21:12.93
we're opposed to be godly
and the sexual relationship
00:21:12.97\00:21:16.87
is supposed to be
used to that affect.
00:21:16.91\00:21:18.77
And so one of
Satan's biggest plans
00:21:18.81\00:21:21.14
is to take pieces
00:21:21.18\00:21:23.18
of what God
used to make us godly
00:21:23.21\00:21:25.81
and to distort him
for his own purposes,
00:21:25.85\00:21:28.65
you know, whether it
be sex, whether it be,
00:21:28.68\00:21:32.22
you know, just any
kind of relationships
00:21:32.25\00:21:33.72
we have out there.
00:21:33.76\00:21:35.09
So I got another question.
00:21:35.12\00:21:37.56
All right, I've been
in this relationship,
00:21:37.59\00:21:40.63
I have done all this stuff,
00:21:40.66\00:21:42.00
I have all this guilt and shame,
00:21:42.03\00:21:44.30
may be I'm watching the show
00:21:44.33\00:21:45.87
and I'm involved in fornication.
00:21:45.90\00:21:47.84
Am I a bad person?
Is there a hope for me?
00:21:47.87\00:21:51.81
What are the kind of help
00:21:51.84\00:21:53.61
can I get to get out
of the situation I am in?
00:21:53.64\00:21:58.41
One piece of advice
00:21:58.45\00:21:59.78
that I would give to that person
00:21:59.81\00:22:01.15
is make it a priority
to make God a priority
00:22:01.18\00:22:06.79
because if you truly
want to put God first,
00:22:06.82\00:22:09.62
then this has to stop
00:22:09.66\00:22:12.96
because we all want
love, we all desire love,
00:22:12.99\00:22:16.03
God made our heart
00:22:16.06\00:22:17.40
with a hole so big
that only He could fill it.
00:22:17.43\00:22:21.20
And so when we
fornicate, many of us we think,
00:22:21.24\00:22:24.44
we're making love.
00:22:24.47\00:22:26.94
But making love,
00:22:26.98\00:22:29.08
the definition that
I find in the scripture
00:22:29.11\00:22:31.15
is doing
something that God would do.
00:22:31.18\00:22:35.72
And so if God were
married and He had a wife,
00:22:35.75\00:22:39.35
He would be
intimate with her physically,
00:22:39.39\00:22:40.76
so that is making love.
00:22:40.79\00:22:42.36
But if you're not
married, you're not making love,
00:22:42.39\00:22:44.46
you're making sin.
00:22:44.49\00:22:46.49
And so if there is
someone who's watching this
00:22:46.53\00:22:49.96
and who's interested in,
00:22:50.00\00:22:51.33
how can I get closer
to God, I'm fornicating,
00:22:51.37\00:22:54.44
I'll tell them that they
need to make it a priority
00:22:54.47\00:22:57.01
to make God a priority,
00:22:57.04\00:22:58.64
put themselves
away from the person
00:22:58.67\00:23:00.84
or the people that
they're fornicating
00:23:00.88\00:23:03.24
with and to go to
God humbly in prayer
00:23:03.28\00:23:06.45
and ask for forgiveness one
00:23:06.48\00:23:07.88
'cause we have
to recognize our sin
00:23:07.92\00:23:09.98
and then ask God for
power to do the right thing.
00:23:10.02\00:23:14.19
Hang on, did you
record it, Brittany?
00:23:14.22\00:23:15.69
Amen. Amen.
00:23:15.72\00:23:17.46
I would also add
for 'cause sometimes
00:23:17.49\00:23:20.66
because you've
been engaging for like,
00:23:20.70\00:23:22.56
extended period of time,
00:23:22.60\00:23:24.20
your first thing
is okay, if we stop,
00:23:24.23\00:23:26.94
then what's gonna
happen to the relationship.
00:23:26.97\00:23:29.40
And I would advise any
person, if that person is really
00:23:29.44\00:23:32.54
who God has for you and
you guys made a mistake,
00:23:32.57\00:23:36.71
I think we do know a couple,
00:23:36.75\00:23:38.85
they had engaged
first and then they stopped
00:23:38.88\00:23:41.02
and they really took
that time to really pray
00:23:41.05\00:23:43.05
and dedicate relationship to God
00:23:43.08\00:23:44.82
and God was able to restore.
00:23:44.85\00:23:46.65
So if you know
you're in it right now,
00:23:46.69\00:23:49.69
and you stop, and you say,
00:23:49.72\00:23:51.69
"God, we know, we did this wrong
00:23:51.73\00:23:54.10
but we want to
be completely yours.
00:23:54.13\00:23:55.73
Do you still want us together?
00:23:55.76\00:23:57.10
Do you want us
to be on this path?"
00:23:57.13\00:23:59.93
And if God says yes,
00:23:59.97\00:24:01.54
then you can be
able to move forward
00:24:01.57\00:24:03.37
and do different boundaries,
have those boundaries
00:24:03.41\00:24:06.07
and all that different stuff
and be able to move forward.
00:24:06.11\00:24:08.51
And if He says no,
God is the priority,
00:24:08.54\00:24:12.01
you have to go
your separate ways.
00:24:12.05\00:24:14.82
Wow!
00:24:14.85\00:24:16.18
So putting God first,
putting in Him everything.
00:24:16.22\00:24:20.09
I want to deal with the
guilt and shame real quick.
00:24:20.12\00:24:21.96
I've done this
00:24:21.99\00:24:23.32
and I feel
guilty, I feel ashamed.
00:24:23.36\00:24:24.79
So I feel like, you know,
00:24:24.83\00:24:26.43
the Lord doesn't
love me the same.
00:24:26.46\00:24:28.06
So I want to hear
00:24:28.10\00:24:29.43
from a male
perspective Xavier and Myesha,
00:24:29.46\00:24:32.13
how do I deal with
the guilt and shame now,
00:24:32.17\00:24:34.50
I've stopped my relationship,
I'm putting God first,
00:24:34.54\00:24:37.24
I'm making Him the priority
but I still have this heavy,
00:24:37.27\00:24:41.44
you know, almost, like,
00:24:41.48\00:24:43.38
"Man, you know, I cant believe,
00:24:43.41\00:24:44.75
I used to do this."
00:24:44.78\00:24:46.11
How do I...?
00:24:46.15\00:24:47.48
Well, what I did personally,
00:24:47.52\00:24:50.29
I took it to the Lord in prayer.
00:24:50.32\00:24:52.09
I've prayed and
I've continued to pray
00:24:52.12\00:24:55.96
because not only God,
00:24:55.99\00:24:58.43
you know, He is
your friend, you know.
00:24:58.46\00:25:01.30
It's so easy to go to a person
00:25:01.33\00:25:02.66
and tell them what
you're going through.
00:25:02.70\00:25:04.30
But it is easy
for you to go to God
00:25:04.33\00:25:06.30
and tell him how you're feeling
00:25:06.33\00:25:07.84
because your friend
can't heal you but God can.
00:25:07.87\00:25:11.04
So someone told me that,
00:25:11.07\00:25:13.24
you know, when you're struggling
00:25:13.27\00:25:14.61
with
depression, read your Bible,
00:25:14.64\00:25:16.98
you stick to these
promises, you know.
00:25:17.01\00:25:19.75
My favorite is
00:25:19.78\00:25:21.35
"Thou wilt keep
me in perfect peace,
00:25:21.38\00:25:23.05
with my mind is
stayed upon thee,
00:25:23.08\00:25:24.59
because I trusted in thee."
00:25:24.62\00:25:26.35
And that is something
00:25:26.39\00:25:28.16
I will continue
to have in my mind
00:25:28.19\00:25:31.06
when I'm in the
state of depression
00:25:31.09\00:25:32.89
or I'm feeling guilty.
00:25:32.93\00:25:34.56
I need peace, I need
joy, I need happiness,
00:25:34.60\00:25:37.33
and the only way
00:25:37.37\00:25:38.70
I will experience
that is with Christ.
00:25:38.73\00:25:42.47
So I encourage
to continue to pray
00:25:42.50\00:25:45.81
and read the Word of God.
00:25:45.84\00:25:47.24
Amen. Amen.
00:25:47.28\00:25:48.61
Xavier, same question
from a male perspective.
00:25:48.64\00:25:50.85
Yeah, from our
perspective, sometimes, I mean,
00:25:50.88\00:25:53.21
that was difficult for
me, you know, it's like,
00:25:53.25\00:25:55.52
you got that testosterone,
00:25:55.55\00:25:56.89
you know, you
got to go out there,
00:25:56.92\00:25:58.45
you know, and get that.
00:25:58.49\00:25:59.92
But when you actually
sit back and pray about it,
00:25:59.95\00:26:02.96
how much, if you say,
00:26:02.99\00:26:04.33
if you profess you
love your significant other,
00:26:04.36\00:26:06.59
do you love him
enough to respect their body
00:26:06.63\00:26:09.00
and respect your own.
00:26:09.03\00:26:10.67
You know, are you
willing to respect them
00:26:10.70\00:26:12.80
in their decision,
00:26:12.83\00:26:14.17
are you respecting your
body too, in that sense,
00:26:14.20\00:26:16.20
in that regard,
00:26:16.24\00:26:17.77
you need to have a
certain level of respect
00:26:17.81\00:26:19.34
for the other person.
00:26:19.37\00:26:20.71
You know, there is
no need to go out there
00:26:20.74\00:26:23.11
and satisfy what
you're getting from God.
00:26:23.14\00:26:27.45
You know, the sex aspect
00:26:27.48\00:26:28.82
is gonna come
once you're married.
00:26:28.85\00:26:30.19
I'm not saying, you
know, go rush to the altar
00:26:30.22\00:26:32.45
'cause now I want to have sex,
00:26:32.49\00:26:33.86
that's a whole different
topic but I'm just saying that,
00:26:33.89\00:26:36.26
you know, have
enough self respect,
00:26:36.29\00:26:39.16
that you know,
guilt comes and it's fine.
00:26:39.19\00:26:41.80
Jesus died on the
cross for the guilty.
00:26:41.83\00:26:43.26
Come now, yes.
00:26:43.30\00:26:44.63
He died on the cross
for the guilty, you know.
00:26:44.67\00:26:46.57
I'm jacked up and I
know that and that's okay,
00:26:46.60\00:26:48.80
that's how Jesus wants me,
00:26:48.84\00:26:50.17
He's not gonna
leave me that way.
00:26:50.21\00:26:51.91
But that's how
He wants me to be.
00:26:51.94\00:26:53.48
He wants me to be
messed up, so I can come to Him
00:26:53.51\00:26:55.74
and He'll fix me little by
little and that's the thing,
00:26:55.78\00:26:57.98
you know, take your
guilt, it's okay to feel guilty.
00:26:58.01\00:27:00.62
That's called conviction
and go to the Holy Spirit,
00:27:00.65\00:27:02.92
you know, go to prayer
00:27:02.95\00:27:04.29
and, you know, start
working with God on that.
00:27:04.32\00:27:06.96
It's not impossible.
00:27:06.99\00:27:09.52
So we just really
want you to see today,
00:27:09.56\00:27:11.96
on today's program
that fornication really
00:27:11.99\00:27:14.86
does have a direct
affect on your spirituality.
00:27:14.90\00:27:17.37
It'll affect the way you
see people in relationships
00:27:17.40\00:27:19.43
that are intimate,
00:27:19.47\00:27:20.80
and it will also affect
the intimate relationship
00:27:20.84\00:27:23.10
that God wants to have with you.
00:27:23.14\00:27:25.27
What we really
want to also bring out
00:27:25.31\00:27:27.31
that no matter
how guilty you feel,
00:27:27.34\00:27:28.98
no matter how shameful you feel,
00:27:29.01\00:27:30.75
it's Christ that came
to take away your shame.
00:27:30.78\00:27:33.42
He came to take away your guilt
and to make you a new creature
00:27:33.45\00:27:36.79
and you can start today,
00:27:36.82\00:27:38.42
being that new
creature in Christ.
00:27:38.45\00:27:40.62
Where the devil meant for evil,
00:27:40.66\00:27:42.42
God always meant it for good
00:27:42.46\00:27:43.79
'cause however
we're feeling inside
00:27:43.83\00:27:45.16
that's bad,
00:27:45.19\00:27:46.53
it makes us run to
Christ and run to the cross.
00:27:46.56\00:27:49.40
Well, I do hope you've
enjoyed our discussion today.
00:27:49.43\00:27:52.37
I just want to thank my guests
00:27:52.40\00:27:54.37
that came on the
panel when I want.
00:27:54.40\00:27:55.94
And I'm Timothy Lawson,
00:27:55.97\00:27:57.31
and I want you to always
remember to make pure choices.
00:27:57.34\00:28:00.68