The following program
discusses sensitive issues.
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Parents are
cautioned that some material
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may be too candid
for younger children.
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Hello, and welcome
once again to Pure Choices.
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I'm your host
Pastor Joshua Nelson.
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I'm so glad you
decided to join us once again.
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We have a great one
for you today as usual
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and this one is
entitled, Pure Life.
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We're going to talk
about how to live the life
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that God wants us
to live, all right?
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So before we get into
this powerful discussion,
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let's just pause
for a moment to pray.
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Heavenly Father God, we just ask
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that you will be with us
now as we discuss this topic.
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In Jesus' name, we pray. Amen.
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Amen. Amen.
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All right, let's
introduce our panel.
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To my left, I have
chaplain Xavier Morales,
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so glad he's here with us today
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and his wife,
Brittany Hill-Morales,
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so glad she is here.
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Also, we have
the Douglas Family,
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Pastor K.P. Douglas,
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and his wife, Kimberly Douglas.
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So glad you're all
here for this discussion
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because we really
want to talk about
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what are the ideals, okay?
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That's the first question.
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What really is the life
that God wants us to live?
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You know, we talk about purity
all the time, pure choices,
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what is the ultimate choice?
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What does the
ultimate pure life look like
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and so let's just start there
and maybe just all of us can,
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I guess,
expound on what we feel,
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according to God's word
of how he wants us to live.
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Let's start with...
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I'll start with
Xavier and we'll work around.
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There is a lot of...
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KP said about
that, living a pure life.
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You know, perfectionist
are way out of the question
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until the Second Coming
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but I think for me, for example,
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my steps towards a
better life or pure life
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was to remove elements
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that were
obstructing my view of God
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or my relationship with him
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such as, you know,
certain movies I used to own,
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certain CDs or
music that I used to have,
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the elements that
completely hindered me
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or kind of stunted
my growth with Christ.
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Okay.
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So there were some things
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that you had to
cut out of your life.
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Okay. All right.
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I would also add
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as another thing of
living the pure life
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is being careful of your
body, being mindful of it,
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avoiding the
substances that will pollute it
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and not make you be pure
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and that will kind of
distort the way you think
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or how you act or even
how you just simply live,
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that's also important
according to God's Word.
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Okay.
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For some reason, the first word
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that came to
mind for me was joy.
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Making those
decisions and doing those things
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that are in line with God's Word
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that brings joy
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and that's just, you know,
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happiness that comes
and goes with joy that's...
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Amen. All right.
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I think that of course,
purity is a two-sided coin.
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On one side, God
does the real purifying.
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He is the only one
who can truly clean.
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On the other side, I
am reminded that God says,
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you know, to Aaron and his sons,
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"Purify yourselves."
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You know,
"Consecrate yourselves,"
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which is remove all things that,
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you know, will defile, you know.
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And I know for me
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that didn't
necessarily mean that,
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you know, my purifying myself
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equals God's
purifying or righteousness.
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To me living the
purified life means
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doing whatever is necessary
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to put myself in a position
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for God to do the work
that He has to do in my life.
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Amen.
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I think for me, you know,
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ultimately a
pure life has come in,
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you know, for me in
making a pure choice
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which would be to
choose Jesus every day.
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And the practical
thing, of course, is that
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we kind of make mistakes,
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we're going to
live broken lives.
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We're going to
always make the pure choice,
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but I look at, you
know the verses like,
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you know, if you
confess your sins,
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he is faithful and just
to forgive your every sin
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and to cleanse you
from all unrighteousness.
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You know, I think that,
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Ellen White says
in Steps to Christ
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making that initial choice
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for God to clean
you up, you know,
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and allowing Him to be
the one that's cleaning you
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and if you are,
you know, ultimately,
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that's going to be the question,
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"Are you saying yes
to Jesus every day?"
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You know, and that's
what He is looking for,
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people who are just
saying yes to Him in the morning
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when they arise,
"Give me, Jesus," you know,
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and when they go to sleep,
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is that the circle of your life?
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Are you looking for
him for the parameters
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of how you live your life?
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And I think we
want to be careful
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even in the way we say it
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because we don't want
people at home to think
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it's about getting up
and literally every morning
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and saying, you know, "I
give myself to you, God,"
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which, yes, we are doing
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but, you know,
Christ is more concerned
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about our heart posture,
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you know, he is not
really concerned about
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you rehearsing lines
that work for someone else.
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You know, it's just all
about that mindset that says,
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"What do you
really think of yourself
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in a relationship with Christ?"
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Now, just like Ellen White says,
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as a matter of fact,
you know, we talk while
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what it looks
like, Ellen White says,
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"The closer you
get to God the more,
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you know, it is revealed to
you just how messed up you are."
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And so a person
who is close to God
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who is living that pure life,
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to me, may look more
humble, be more humble,
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because they
realize who they are
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but they would
still seek out the joy
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because in seeing who they are,
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they are encouraged knowing
that God still works with them
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knowing just how
blessed they are.
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Yeah, that's just good
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because could
you ever really say,
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"I'm living a pure life?"
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I don't think
anybody can really say that
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because you're saying.
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You're going to
look at yourself and say,
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"Man, I'm not all that great."
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But if you're
practicing making pure choices,
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then, you know, that you
will be reflecting the life
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that God wants you to live.
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Did I... Do you
want to say... Okay.
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All right, so let's
go ahead and talk about
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this brokenness.
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Let's talk about
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what are some practical steps
that people can take to truly,
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you know, get in
position if you would
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or to be able to
overcome all the struggles
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that we know we have
faced and are facing even now.
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What are some steps?
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Let's start with
one of the ladies.
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Yeah, tell me, give me
some steps, tips, I guess.
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Tips.
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When Xavier and I were dating,
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one of the things that we did
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was to refrain from
kissing on the lips.
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That's what we did
because we both knew our pasts.
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We knew that we would be more,
I guess, more inclined to fall
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if we were kissing
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because it always
leads to just wanting more.
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So we decided not to do that
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so that we would be, I
guess, in a better position
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for when we got
married to be more pure
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because we had
that moment of celibacy.
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So basically staying
away from like triggers.
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Staying away from triggers, yes.
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Yeah, you got to know yourself
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and what it is that triggers you
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to go down that dark place
that you don't want to go down
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and you have to really be
honest to yourself and say,
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"I don't want to
go down that road
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and I need to put
some safeguards in."
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'Cause I mean,
that takes some maturity
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but you already know, so real,
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I mean, let's be
honest, that's tough,
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I mean, I don't know. I
don't think it was hard.
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You're doing
yourself a lot, okay.
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'Cause I had to pray every day.
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Fasting and prayer, some
things only come by that.
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I think, you know,
in looking back at,
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you know, I guess, pure choices
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and how to make pure
choices in relationship,
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I really have to say,
"Thank God for my parents"
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because, you know,
they set that example.
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They're not perfect
but they set the example of
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what a healthy
relationship looks like
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and they gave me
some things to aspire to.
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Sure.
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And so, you know,
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I guess in looking at
their relationship now,
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I started to
identify different things
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that I would like
in my own relationship
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and saying yes to some things
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and saying no
emphatically to some things,
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you know, helped with,
you know, maintaining purity.
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Sure. Yeah.
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And I'll just say that,
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I thought, well, my
parents started about,
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you know, the
prayer, they prayed for me
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and also there's another tip
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I guess the concept the
prayer you have to be in,
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you know, you have to
create the habit of praying
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and a habit of, you
know, even looking at others
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you know are doing what
you want to do, you know,
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and to be
intentional about this thing
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because it's not
going to come easy,
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no, it's tough, it's tough.
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One thing that
I'm learning right now
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in my journey with Christ
and especially pastoring is,
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you know, I don't think,
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you know, I don't
know how to say this,
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don't really take
everything so seriously.
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You know, I think
part of why we mess up
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is that we give a lot
of attention to our faults.
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We give a lot of
attention to where we mess up.
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You know, for me,
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I'm the kind of person that says
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if I know I have a problem now,
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I pray about and give it to God.
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I don't want to
get up every morning
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and think about that problem.
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You know what I'm saying?
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Matter of fact, the
more I think about it,
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the more I may be inclined
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to be given over to and so, yes,
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as I do get up and
pray that pray to God,
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"Today I'm praying, you
know, let you crucify my flesh
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and help me to
make these decisions."
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I also go to the
living victoriously
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if you will
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as if God has already given
me the victory over that thing.
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Because He really...
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And if I fall like you said,
I know that I have an advocate.
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You know, I think, sometimes
even in living a life of purity
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we forget, you know, that
all we have is an advocate.
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We no longer have somebody
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that's pointing
our flaws to God.
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Yeah. You know,
God knows our flaws.
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He wants to acknowledge
them, but you know, Paul says,
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"Now you walk
in newness of life.
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Don't just talk
about your death and burial
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and focus on
resurrection and a new life."
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You know, sometimes
we focus on the sins more
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than we do the
victory over them.
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And more often the
ones that accuse ourselves,
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put ourselves down,
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and measure all the
things we did wrong.
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Xavier, go ahead.
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I think one of the things
that I had to accept was pain.
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You know, brokenness
equals pain, you know.
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It's like if you've
ever been in an accident,
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if anybody's ever been
in a car accident situation
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where there is
glass inside of you
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or something that they got
to pull it out, it's painful.
00:10:08.84\00:10:11.27
You know,
sometimes we paint the walk
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to be so fluffy,
hazy should I say
00:10:13.48\00:10:16.51
No, you know
brokenness equals pain
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and this is one
thing I had to accept.
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But what brought me joy was
because I grew up in the church
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and leaving and
then coming back,
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I've always been
presented to God that is,
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you know, fluffy, you know,
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and when I reread
the Bible for myself,
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I saw there's God of, you
know, justice, of war, of,
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you know, saying
the war's already won.
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And I was excited
because, you know,
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it's a battle for the flesh,
it's a battle for the mind so,
00:10:42.77\00:10:45.41
you know, for me it was
just a matter of my brokenness.
00:10:45.44\00:10:48.34
You know, I'm tired of it.
00:10:48.38\00:10:50.28
I'm going to strive
every day just to wage war,
00:10:50.31\00:10:53.92
you know, against my own flesh.
00:10:53.95\00:10:56.22
It's a tricky thing
and it's painful at times
00:10:56.25\00:10:59.45
but just accepting the fact
00:10:59.49\00:11:01.29
that pain comes
with the territory
00:11:01.32\00:11:03.19
because of sin, but it's joy,
00:11:03.22\00:11:05.56
you know, happiness
happens, joy sticks.
00:11:05.59\00:11:08.00
Yes. Amen.
00:11:08.03\00:11:09.36
I like that, you know,
00:11:09.40\00:11:10.73
and I know for me in
kind of transitioning
00:11:10.77\00:11:12.63
also what you all are saying,
00:11:12.67\00:11:14.27
you know, I don't
really have a motivation
00:11:14.30\00:11:16.37
to live a pure life, you know.
00:11:16.40\00:11:18.31
I didn't really want to.
00:11:18.34\00:11:19.67
I kind of was afraid
of how it would look.
00:11:19.71\00:11:21.28
I was afraid to let go of
the pain I was holding on to
00:11:21.31\00:11:24.38
because it was kind
of a safety net for me.
00:11:24.41\00:11:26.95
And so what do you
just say to someone,
00:11:26.98\00:11:28.68
you know, what is the
value of living a pure life?
00:11:28.72\00:11:32.52
What can you expect
00:11:32.55\00:11:34.36
and what joy can
you receive truly
00:11:34.39\00:11:37.59
from actually
exercising these principles
00:11:37.63\00:11:39.79
and these practices that
we've been talking about?
00:11:39.83\00:11:43.03
I was going to say,
from a teacher's perspective,
00:11:43.06\00:11:49.00
you know, having
high school boys,
00:11:49.04\00:11:52.01
it's not always what you
say, high school girls too.
00:11:52.04\00:11:56.91
It's not what you say.
00:11:56.95\00:11:58.28
They're going to watch
00:11:58.31\00:11:59.65
what you do and
how you think about,
00:11:59.68\00:12:02.75
you know, the life you live
00:12:02.78\00:12:04.35
more than they're going
to listen to what you say.
00:12:04.39\00:12:07.29
And so, you know,
when I think about
00:12:07.32\00:12:09.22
getting through to
friends or other people,
00:12:09.26\00:12:13.83
I'm very intentional
about the words I say
00:12:13.86\00:12:17.63
and I make sure that I
nurture certain relationships
00:12:17.67\00:12:22.50
because I know
that those individuals
00:12:22.54\00:12:24.81
might be
struggling with certain things
00:12:24.84\00:12:26.91
and so I try not to
00:12:26.94\00:12:28.28
because sometimes it
comes across your lecturing
00:12:28.31\00:12:29.91
and that you
know more than they do
00:12:29.94\00:12:32.45
and then that's
definitely not my intention,
00:12:32.48\00:12:34.68
I don't want to
come across as some,
00:12:34.72\00:12:36.52
you know, expert or anything
00:12:36.55\00:12:37.89
so I just try to live
that life and show them
00:12:37.92\00:12:40.76
and be honest about, you know,
the stuff I struggle with too.
00:12:40.79\00:12:44.13
Yeah.
00:12:44.16\00:12:45.49
So really it
gives you motivation
00:12:45.53\00:12:47.20
to want to be an
example for someone else
00:12:47.23\00:12:51.40
so you live your peer life
00:12:51.43\00:12:52.93
to be an example
for someone else.
00:12:52.97\00:12:54.30
Okay, I like that.
And, Pastor, go ahead.
00:12:54.34\00:12:56.60
I think one of the
biggest benefits for me
00:12:56.64\00:13:00.51
is no more guilt.
00:13:00.54\00:13:03.18
At least the guilt,
you know, dissipating.
00:13:03.21\00:13:04.95
I mean, you're always going
to feel guilty in some regards
00:13:04.98\00:13:08.28
but the guilt is so much less.
00:13:08.32\00:13:09.78
Freedom. It's so much less, man.
00:13:09.82\00:13:11.35
And that's one
of my biggest things
00:13:11.39\00:13:13.05
I'm learning in
my walk with Christ
00:13:13.09\00:13:14.89
is if I have to
always look over my shoulder
00:13:14.92\00:13:17.46
and, you know,
thinking if, you know,
00:13:17.49\00:13:18.83
"What's God thinking?"
00:13:18.86\00:13:20.26
That to me, like
you said is not freedom,
00:13:20.30\00:13:22.20
that's slavery, man.
00:13:22.23\00:13:23.57
I praise God that
when you're living right,
00:13:23.60\00:13:26.17
you don't have
to deal with guilt.
00:13:26.20\00:13:27.54
Yeah.
00:13:27.57\00:13:28.90
"If the Son sets you
free, you're free indeed."
00:13:28.94\00:13:30.34
Free indeed. Yeah.
00:13:30.37\00:13:31.71
I would also add that
you also feel more at peace
00:13:31.74\00:13:35.64
because when you know
you're doing things right,
00:13:35.68\00:13:38.21
you're not
scared of repercussions
00:13:38.25\00:13:40.52
or is this going
to happen to me now
00:13:40.55\00:13:42.32
because I did this
00:13:42.35\00:13:43.79
or what if the
church member finds that
00:13:43.82\00:13:46.15
what's going to
happen, you feel more at peace
00:13:46.19\00:13:48.06
because you're really
not doing anything crazy
00:13:48.09\00:13:50.33
for anything out
of order to happen,
00:13:50.36\00:13:53.80
so you feel more relaxed.
00:13:53.83\00:13:55.16
You can be like
okay. That's just my life.
00:13:55.20\00:13:59.40
I know it's good right now,
00:13:59.43\00:14:00.77
I don't have to
stress about other things.
00:14:00.80\00:14:03.27
Okay.
00:14:03.30\00:14:04.64
The other thing is like
00:14:04.67\00:14:06.01
sometimes we
blame the devil a lot.
00:14:06.04\00:14:07.88
And I think that
the biggest enemy
00:14:07.91\00:14:09.31
is actually yourself.
00:14:09.34\00:14:11.18
You know, when you
give 'cause there's the time
00:14:11.21\00:14:13.21
where you're doing
so much recklessness
00:14:13.25\00:14:15.35
that the devil will
not want to deal with you.
00:14:15.38\00:14:17.49
They don't have to
deal with you no more.
00:14:17.52\00:14:19.85
And I think that come to a point
00:14:19.89\00:14:21.22
where, you
know, you get released
00:14:21.26\00:14:23.49
from that impure life,
00:14:23.53\00:14:25.59
not into
perfection but into salvation,
00:14:25.63\00:14:28.93
you know, into living better.
00:14:28.96\00:14:30.43
And I guess
Pastor K. Douglas said,
00:14:30.47\00:14:32.20
you know, not
looking over your shoulder,
00:14:32.23\00:14:33.94
you know, having
peace like you're,
00:14:33.97\00:14:35.54
you know, I know
where my head lies
00:14:35.57\00:14:37.67
and I can go to bed
resting peacefully...
00:14:37.71\00:14:41.88
Let me say that
correctly resting peacefully
00:14:41.91\00:14:45.68
because I know that
even though, you know,
00:14:45.71\00:14:48.48
we're going to not
always getting right
00:14:48.52\00:14:49.85
but because I'm striving
to do what the Bible says,
00:14:49.88\00:14:52.19
you know, go
from glory to glory,
00:14:52.22\00:14:54.29
I'm struggling to do the best
00:14:54.32\00:14:55.66
that I can each
day, I don't have to...
00:14:55.69\00:14:57.79
no longer do I
have to worry, I'm free,
00:14:57.83\00:15:00.30
It's a freedom that
I can't even describe.
00:15:00.33\00:15:03.60
Amen. Yeah. That's awesome.
00:15:03.63\00:15:05.07
So, you know, this impurity
00:15:05.10\00:15:08.30
if you choose to
live an impure life,
00:15:08.34\00:15:10.57
it has a lot of effects on
your relationship with God.
00:15:10.61\00:15:13.88
You know, when
you are just saying,
00:15:13.91\00:15:15.74
"Well I'm going to
00:15:15.78\00:15:17.11
just do a little
bit of sex today.
00:15:17.15\00:15:18.48
I'm going to be you know,
engaged in going to this club
00:15:18.51\00:15:21.45
and doing this with this
person and this person here,
00:15:21.48\00:15:23.42
I'm going to have
these casual dates."
00:15:23.45\00:15:25.02
And all of the things that,
00:15:25.05\00:15:26.62
you know, we engage in
that we think may be harmless,
00:15:26.65\00:15:30.96
but how do these type of things
really take us away from God
00:15:30.99\00:15:34.66
and really affect our
relationship with God?
00:15:34.70\00:15:37.03
Because a lot
of people will say,
00:15:37.07\00:15:38.40
you know, "I can do
that and I can go to church,
00:15:38.43\00:15:40.40
you know, I can do
this stuff I want to do
00:15:40.44\00:15:41.80
but I can do the
church thing as well."
00:15:41.84\00:15:43.81
It's kind of like Adam and Eve.
00:15:43.84\00:15:46.51
You know, when they sinned,
00:15:46.54\00:15:49.04
you know, their
first thing was to hide.
00:15:49.08\00:15:52.18
And I think
00:15:52.21\00:15:54.58
when you're living
outside of God's will,
00:15:54.62\00:15:59.15
there is that
inclination to hide,
00:15:59.19\00:16:04.36
you know, so you run from church
00:16:04.39\00:16:07.46
or you don't really want to have
00:16:07.50\00:16:10.03
to listen to those friends
00:16:10.07\00:16:11.80
who will point
out your nonsense.
00:16:11.83\00:16:14.27
They're being honest,
they're being truthful,
00:16:14.30\00:16:17.54
but yet, you're defensive
because you know they're right,
00:16:17.57\00:16:22.01
you know what
you should be doing,
00:16:22.04\00:16:23.88
so there is that
tendency to run and to hide.
00:16:23.91\00:16:27.75
I think living
those two lives is...
00:16:27.78\00:16:29.92
I got to commend those
people who live those two lives
00:16:29.95\00:16:31.92
because that take a
lot of work, I'm sorry,
00:16:31.95\00:16:34.26
takes a lot of work to you know,
00:16:34.29\00:16:35.92
be praising, you're like...
00:16:35.96\00:16:37.29
like the Bible says, you know,
00:16:37.33\00:16:38.66
"They honor me with the lips
00:16:38.69\00:16:40.03
but their hearts
are far away from me."
00:16:40.06\00:16:41.43
How does that work?
00:16:41.46\00:16:42.80
How can you, you know, no
one can serve two masters,
00:16:42.83\00:16:44.63
I mean, it's all over the Bible.
00:16:44.67\00:16:46.20
It takes a lot of
effort to be in the church
00:16:46.23\00:16:48.50
and be doing things
00:16:48.54\00:16:50.24
and I hate to even say
00:16:50.27\00:16:51.71
the terminology being at church.
00:16:51.74\00:16:53.44
Being and, you know,
00:16:53.48\00:16:55.28
trying to walk with
Christ and living a double life,
00:16:55.31\00:16:57.58
you know, it
takes a lot of effort
00:16:57.61\00:16:58.95
and either one way or the other,
00:16:58.98\00:17:01.38
you're gonna choose a path.
00:17:01.42\00:17:03.99
And most of the
time, unfortunately,
00:17:04.02\00:17:06.09
you know, as they say,
00:17:06.12\00:17:07.46
the default
setting is not Christ.
00:17:07.49\00:17:09.59
And so that said,
00:17:09.62\00:17:10.96
because you really put an effort
00:17:10.99\00:17:13.29
into being a
Christian in vain all this time.
00:17:13.33\00:17:17.00
So it may not be as
glamorous to be a Christian
00:17:17.03\00:17:23.10
but I think, you know,
00:17:23.14\00:17:24.47
one of the
things that hinders you
00:17:24.51\00:17:25.84
is actually you know,
00:17:25.87\00:17:27.34
living to the stigma or
whatever society says so.
00:17:27.38\00:17:30.28
Yeah, I mean, I'll
just be honest in all
00:17:30.31\00:17:32.71
'cause you all as well that,
00:17:32.75\00:17:35.58
it just tears your
relationship with God.
00:17:35.62\00:17:37.42
I mean, you know,
00:17:37.45\00:17:38.79
when you're trying
to be on the fence,
00:17:38.82\00:17:40.79
you're trying to do both,
00:17:40.82\00:17:42.16
I mean, it is just so
tough to keep it together,
00:17:42.19\00:17:43.69
it's like kind of
keep that lie together.
00:17:43.73\00:17:45.66
It is just hard to
really be the Christian
00:17:45.69\00:17:50.30
that you want to be, you know,
it's like Paul says, Paul says,
00:17:50.33\00:17:52.93
you know, I'd strive to
do, it's just a struggle,
00:17:52.97\00:17:55.80
it's a war
inside of me, you know.
00:17:55.84\00:17:57.21
And that war if you're
not actually fighting the war,
00:17:57.24\00:17:59.64
if you're just saying,
"I'll just do whatever,"
00:17:59.67\00:18:01.51
you know, it is hard
00:18:01.54\00:18:03.11
when you don't give
your life over to Jesus.
00:18:03.14\00:18:04.91
It makes things so much tougher
00:18:04.95\00:18:06.28
and you get to a
place in your life
00:18:06.31\00:18:07.85
where it'll be like,
00:18:07.88\00:18:09.22
"Man, where is God,
you know, what happened?
00:18:09.25\00:18:11.35
Where did I leave him at?"
00:18:11.39\00:18:12.72
You know, and
that's a scary place to be.
00:18:12.75\00:18:15.02
Honestly living a double life
00:18:15.06\00:18:17.76
makes you have a very
stagnant relationship with God.
00:18:17.79\00:18:21.70
You don't grow
any closer, any deeper
00:18:21.73\00:18:24.33
because you're
doing that double life
00:18:24.37\00:18:26.60
and I've noticed even
with some of my friends
00:18:26.63\00:18:29.24
living the double life
00:18:29.27\00:18:30.61
drew them
further and further away
00:18:30.64\00:18:32.71
where this Jesus
00:18:32.74\00:18:34.34
who they love so
much, is just God
00:18:34.38\00:18:36.91
and this God who is their Father
00:18:36.95\00:18:39.05
is now just this divine being
00:18:39.08\00:18:41.12
and it goes
from divine being to,
00:18:41.15\00:18:43.25
"Oh, maybe he exists.
00:18:43.28\00:18:44.79
I'm agnostic.
Well, you know what?
00:18:44.82\00:18:47.86
He doesn't really exist
00:18:47.89\00:18:49.22
because of XY and Z
phenomena ages like,
00:18:49.26\00:18:50.83
I've seen this just keeping
on decreasing and decreasing
00:18:50.86\00:18:55.23
and if we spoke to
them maybe five years ago,
00:18:55.26\00:18:58.70
they would have told
you that would never happen.
00:18:58.73\00:19:00.70
They were
hardcore, dedicated with God
00:19:00.74\00:19:04.84
and now it's just what happened
and that's usually how it goes.
00:19:04.87\00:19:09.58
Wow.
00:19:09.61\00:19:10.95
I think that's
because even the question
00:19:10.98\00:19:12.91
we're asking is
kind of a misnomer,
00:19:12.95\00:19:14.78
I'm not sure if
I'm using it right
00:19:14.82\00:19:16.15
or paradox really.
00:19:16.18\00:19:17.52
We're asking does impurity
affect your relation with God
00:19:17.55\00:19:22.29
when the cult of purity is
also the cult of relationship.
00:19:22.32\00:19:25.66
You know when
God says to Abraham,
00:19:25.69\00:19:27.73
you know, "I want
you to be perfect,"
00:19:27.76\00:19:29.10
He really says,
00:19:29.13\00:19:30.47
"I want you to be
correct in relationship to me,
00:19:30.50\00:19:33.30
you know, not I want you
to go about doing things,"
00:19:33.34\00:19:36.64
But He is saying, "I
want you to be in Me."
00:19:36.67\00:19:39.14
Just as Jesus described it,
00:19:39.17\00:19:40.51
you know, "I am in
you and you're in Me.
00:19:40.54\00:19:42.48
I want them
also to be the same."
00:19:42.51\00:19:44.51
And so that cult of purity
is a cult of relationship.
00:19:44.55\00:19:48.55
So, does impurity
affect your relationship?
00:19:48.58\00:19:50.55
Of course, it does
00:19:50.59\00:19:51.92
because impurity is
a lack of relationship.
00:19:51.95\00:19:54.29
You know, what I'm saying?
00:19:54.32\00:19:55.66
And so you know,
what God is saying is,
00:19:55.69\00:19:57.03
"Listen..."
00:19:57.06\00:19:58.39
And the thing
about relationship is
00:19:58.43\00:19:59.76
if I could too
00:19:59.79\00:20:01.13
and this is maybe where
people get caught wrong.
00:20:01.16\00:20:02.50
In my relationship with my wife,
00:20:02.53\00:20:03.93
we arguing we
still in a relationship,
00:20:03.97\00:20:06.37
we agree, we're
in a relationship,
00:20:06.40\00:20:07.80
we fight in a relationship.
00:20:07.84\00:20:09.17
And God is saying,
00:20:09.20\00:20:10.54
"Listen, you don't
always have to understand,
00:20:10.57\00:20:11.91
you don't have always to agree,
00:20:11.94\00:20:13.64
you know, you don't
always have to get it right,
00:20:13.68\00:20:15.01
you just have to
stay in relationship."
00:20:15.04\00:20:16.38
Yeah. Yeah.
00:20:16.41\00:20:17.75
You know what I'm
saying. That's good.
00:20:17.78\00:20:19.11
And if you stay in relationship,
00:20:19.15\00:20:20.48
I am so gracious, I
will count that as purity.
00:20:20.52\00:20:22.28
Mercy.
00:20:22.32\00:20:23.65
And that's so beautiful
because that's what God wants.
00:20:23.69\00:20:27.26
I mean, He knows
at the end of the day,
00:20:27.29\00:20:29.26
you know, He is just trying
to get us to heaven, right?
00:20:29.29\00:20:31.49
He knows that we're
starting to make mistakes,
00:20:31.53\00:20:33.56
but He loves us so much,
00:20:33.60\00:20:34.93
you know, "Just stay
by me, just stay with me."
00:20:34.96\00:20:36.60
You know, and I
think that nowadays
00:20:36.63\00:20:38.80
because of the
mentality of today,
00:20:38.83\00:20:41.47
especially the young people
of, "I'm just going to do me."
00:20:41.50\00:20:43.91
You know, "I'm gonna
do what I want to do,
00:20:43.94\00:20:45.74
you know, I don't want to
worry about living a pure life
00:20:45.77\00:20:48.91
or what God wants me to
do, I have my own agenda."
00:20:48.94\00:20:51.51
You know, that's
not the relationship
00:20:51.55\00:20:52.91
that you have with your
friends or with your spouse,
00:20:52.95\00:20:55.42
you know, the
relationship with God is,
00:20:55.45\00:20:57.39
"God, I need to know, I
want to seek after your face.
00:20:57.42\00:20:59.75
I want to seek after
what is it you want me to do
00:20:59.79\00:21:02.09
and how I can
really do the thing?"
00:21:02.12\00:21:04.13
God will do that for us
00:21:04.16\00:21:06.46
if we're open to
letting Him do it.
00:21:06.49\00:21:08.76
I think also you mentioned,
00:21:08.80\00:21:10.13
you know, the
young people and society
00:21:10.17\00:21:12.17
as a whole one of the
things that hinders us too
00:21:12.20\00:21:15.64
is these cliche sayings,
00:21:15.67\00:21:17.74
you know, "Only
God can judge me."
00:21:17.77\00:21:20.11
We've been to
bathroom yesterday.
00:21:20.14\00:21:21.64
Yes.
00:21:21.68\00:21:23.51
Or "God loves me the way I am."
00:21:23.55\00:21:24.91
And I think
people often forget that.
00:21:24.95\00:21:27.38
Yes, He loves
you for who you are
00:21:27.42\00:21:29.55
but He doesn't leave you
where you're at, you know.
00:21:29.58\00:21:32.35
And "Only God can judge me."
00:21:32.39\00:21:33.72
I'm excited but that
scares the mess out of me.
00:21:33.76\00:21:35.89
Only God can...
00:21:35.92\00:21:37.26
I'd rather judge jury judge me.
00:21:37.29\00:21:40.06
Only God can judge me that means
00:21:40.10\00:21:42.00
I ultimately gotta go
before the perfect maker
00:21:42.03\00:21:46.37
who made me and tell Him
00:21:46.40\00:21:48.54
how reckless I've
been with my body,
00:21:48.57\00:21:50.31
with my decisions,
00:21:50.34\00:21:51.67
all because I
want to live for me.
00:21:51.71\00:21:53.44
I want to do me and
that's a scary place to be,
00:21:53.48\00:21:56.85
you know, so I
think that's also,
00:21:56.88\00:21:58.95
you know, an aspect of,
00:21:58.98\00:22:00.52
you know, living an impure life
00:22:00.55\00:22:02.92
hinders your cognitive
ability for commonsense.
00:22:02.95\00:22:06.09
Wow.
00:22:06.12\00:22:07.46
So let's talk about that,
00:22:07.49\00:22:09.82
you know, that
whatever happens to you
00:22:09.86\00:22:11.99
when you're in that rut
and you just can't get out,
00:22:12.03\00:22:13.73
how does it not only affect
your relationship with God,
00:22:13.76\00:22:15.90
but how does it affect
your relationship with people,
00:22:15.93\00:22:17.60
your spouse, your relationships,
00:22:17.63\00:22:19.63
what does that really do
in damage in those areas?
00:22:19.67\00:22:23.14
I have a friend who says
the same way that you would
00:22:23.17\00:22:26.78
cultivate a friendship
or a regular relationship
00:22:26.81\00:22:30.71
is the same way
you would cultivate
00:22:30.75\00:22:32.51
your relationship with God.
00:22:32.55\00:22:34.65
You know, you spend time,
you get to know one another
00:22:34.68\00:22:37.59
but some reason, for some reason
00:22:37.62\00:22:40.16
when it comes to
God we just freeze
00:22:40.19\00:22:42.32
and we think it's
some totally different,
00:22:42.36\00:22:44.69
you know, approach
00:22:44.73\00:22:46.06
and so the
principles that work over here,
00:22:46.09\00:22:47.93
we assume they don't work here
when, you know, that's not so.
00:22:47.96\00:22:52.97
When we're off in our
relationship with God,
00:22:53.00\00:22:56.74
chances are
you're going to be off
00:22:56.77\00:22:58.27
with other
people and yourself also
00:22:58.31\00:23:02.04
because it's
the same principles.
00:23:02.08\00:23:04.18
All right. Amen. Like,
that? I definitely agree.
00:23:04.21\00:23:07.65
As you're saying it's off
that even when you have friends
00:23:07.68\00:23:11.92
who are trying to tell you
to do something that is right
00:23:11.95\00:23:14.32
you feel like
they're against you.
00:23:14.36\00:23:16.09
You don't want to
talk to them anymore.
00:23:16.12\00:23:18.16
"No, don't tell me this."
00:23:18.19\00:23:20.10
As you said,
"I'm going to do me."
00:23:20.13\00:23:21.90
So you end up breaking off
all of the quality relations
00:23:21.93\00:23:24.93
that you have with
people who would be,
00:23:24.97\00:23:28.17
you know, I would
say probably ride or die
00:23:28.20\00:23:29.80
who would do anything for
you to connect with people
00:23:29.84\00:23:32.84
who may have the
same philosophy as you
00:23:32.87\00:23:35.74
but they are not going to
do everything in their powers
00:23:35.78\00:23:38.48
to be quality friends
and you go down a path of,
00:23:38.51\00:23:43.18
"I'm going to do this
because it makes me feel good."
00:23:43.22\00:23:46.32
And no matter how much
00:23:46.35\00:23:47.92
these good people are
trying to help you, you just...
00:23:47.96\00:23:51.96
Yeah.
00:23:51.99\00:23:53.33
I know individuals, you know
00:23:53.36\00:23:54.90
who would just alienate
their family, their friends,
00:23:54.93\00:23:57.93
all the people
that truly love them,
00:23:57.97\00:23:59.80
just because they want
to be with an individual,
00:23:59.83\00:24:01.70
they want to do
what they want to do,
00:24:01.74\00:24:03.41
you know, even though
00:24:03.44\00:24:04.77
everybody is
telling them the contrary,
00:24:04.81\00:24:06.41
"This is what you
should or should not do."
00:24:06.44\00:24:08.08
They're just so anti to
what people tell them to do
00:24:08.11\00:24:10.35
and they're going
to mess their life up
00:24:10.38\00:24:11.71
and just do
what they want to do,
00:24:11.75\00:24:13.08
you know, and it messes up
the relationship with those
00:24:13.11\00:24:15.12
who really love
them and trying to have
00:24:15.15\00:24:17.42
their best interest in
mind and at the end of the day,
00:24:17.45\00:24:19.55
they look back and
there's nobody there.
00:24:19.59\00:24:21.39
I've seen that with
friends and family of mine that,
00:24:25.03\00:24:26.90
you know, it's not that
you kick them to the curb
00:24:26.93\00:24:29.23
or anything like
that or ride them off,
00:24:29.26\00:24:30.77
you know, you try to be there
00:24:30.80\00:24:32.13
but, you know, you
try to be as Christ-like
00:24:32.17\00:24:35.37
and loving as
possible you know to them
00:24:35.40\00:24:37.87
but it's like, you know,
you can't force yourself,
00:24:37.91\00:24:40.98
you know, you can't
force yourself on them,
00:24:41.01\00:24:42.34
you can't force them to
follow whatever you follow.
00:24:42.38\00:24:45.71
You can only love
them and sometimes
00:24:45.75\00:24:47.48
that cause you to
love them from afar.
00:24:47.52\00:24:49.42
So a lot of times, you know,
00:24:49.45\00:24:50.92
this causes isolation
00:24:50.95\00:24:52.55
and not because they're
not choosing to follow God
00:24:52.59\00:24:54.92
but because not following God
00:24:54.96\00:24:57.56
starts causing erratic behavior
00:24:57.59\00:24:59.39
that are detrimental
to those relationships.
00:24:59.43\00:25:03.23
I think one of the
things if I could that we forget
00:25:03.26\00:25:05.97
is that all
relationships begin with God.
00:25:06.00\00:25:09.30
Not just that God
gives us relationship,
00:25:09.34\00:25:11.31
we only talk about marriage
00:25:11.34\00:25:12.81
but that
relationship existed in God
00:25:12.84\00:25:15.04
before man existed,
00:25:15.08\00:25:16.44
you know, He
said, let us make man
00:25:16.48\00:25:19.11
and so there really is,
as far as I'm concerned,
00:25:19.15\00:25:21.35
can be no successful
relationship to avoid God
00:25:21.38\00:25:24.42
and even the ones that appear
to be successful to avoid God
00:25:24.45\00:25:27.32
are only
successful by His grace,
00:25:27.36\00:25:29.42
and so how will it
affect your relationship,
00:25:29.46\00:25:32.69
without God, there
is no relationship.
00:25:32.73\00:25:34.73
Okay. That's deep.
00:25:34.76\00:25:36.16
There was
something that Xavier said
00:25:36.20\00:25:37.67
before that made me think
00:25:37.70\00:25:39.13
of the parable
of the ten virgins.
00:25:39.17\00:25:41.54
At one point, five had to say,
00:25:41.57\00:25:43.44
"No, we can't give you any oil."
00:25:43.47\00:25:46.17
You know, and that might seem
00:25:46.21\00:25:49.14
unchristian-like
or unchrist-like
00:25:49.18\00:25:52.31
but there will come a time
where you're gonna have to,
00:25:52.35\00:25:54.78
like you said,
guard your avenues
00:25:54.82\00:25:56.99
because of what
might be erratic behavior.
00:25:57.02\00:26:01.26
And I think there's something
he said before that about
00:26:01.29\00:26:07.00
it messing with
your commonsense.
00:26:07.03\00:26:10.10
You know, and that's major
00:26:10.13\00:26:11.83
because that grows
00:26:11.87\00:26:13.20
to the breaking
off of friendships,
00:26:13.23\00:26:15.40
isolating
yourself, leaving family.
00:26:15.44\00:26:18.41
"Pure choices, why
would I want to make any,
00:26:18.44\00:26:20.68
you know, pure choice?
00:26:20.71\00:26:22.04
How is that
going to help me now?
00:26:22.08\00:26:23.41
It looks more fun
to do X, Y, or Z."
00:26:23.45\00:26:25.81
Sure. Yeah. That's good.
00:26:25.85\00:26:27.95
Your comment
reasoning is just totally
00:26:27.98\00:26:29.65
it's plain game if
you think about it.
00:26:29.68\00:26:31.02
So let's real quick,
somebody give, you know,
00:26:31.05\00:26:32.62
maybe a few seconds
of motivation to someone
00:26:32.65\00:26:35.29
who is on the ledge,
they're just not sure
00:26:35.32\00:26:38.43
if they want to
really live that life,
00:26:38.46\00:26:40.23
what can we say
to motivate them,
00:26:40.26\00:26:41.70
a heartfelt motivation to
get them on the right track.
00:26:41.73\00:26:45.80
Brittany, want to
try to motivate somebody?
00:26:45.83\00:26:48.97
Okay.
00:26:49.00\00:26:50.41
I would say that
00:26:50.44\00:26:53.58
it may seem like
it's going to be fun
00:26:53.61\00:26:56.04
and it may seem like
00:26:56.08\00:26:57.41
it's going to be
a great experience
00:26:57.45\00:26:59.38
but honestly, it's not.
00:26:59.41\00:27:01.78
A few years from now,
00:27:01.82\00:27:03.15
you're going to
look back and wish
00:27:03.18\00:27:04.52
that you did differently.
00:27:04.55\00:27:05.89
And why have that heartache
00:27:05.92\00:27:07.62
when you can just
make the right choice now?
00:27:07.66\00:27:09.99
Amen.
00:27:10.03\00:27:11.36
That's what I would
really say like just don't do it
00:27:11.39\00:27:13.26
because there is
so much heartache
00:27:13.29\00:27:14.63
and it's so much
effort to try to recover.
00:27:14.66\00:27:17.57
I've spoken to so
many other females
00:27:17.60\00:27:19.40
who are trying to
recover from their past mistakes
00:27:19.43\00:27:21.20
and it takes not a day or two,
00:27:21.24\00:27:23.14
it takes years to
recover, so just don't do it.
00:27:23.17\00:27:26.81
Amen.
00:27:26.84\00:27:28.18
All right,
somebody else, real quick?
00:27:28.21\00:27:29.54
Well I would just
say, Man, don't give up.
00:27:29.58\00:27:31.68
You know, the
song we always sing,
00:27:31.71\00:27:33.05
Don't Give Up on God,
He Won't Give Up on You.
00:27:33.08\00:27:34.92
Yeah. But just don't give up.
00:27:34.95\00:27:36.28
There's always hope
00:27:36.32\00:27:37.65
and everything we see
on the show is not to,
00:27:37.69\00:27:39.15
you know, make you feel bad
00:27:39.19\00:27:40.56
or to make you
feel like you're far
00:27:40.59\00:27:42.22
but just to let you
know that there is hope.
00:27:42.26\00:27:44.33
You know, if God
can do it for me,
00:27:44.36\00:27:45.76
if He can do it for Kim,
00:27:45.79\00:27:47.13
if He can do it for
anybody on this panel,
00:27:47.16\00:27:48.66
He can definitely do it for you.
00:27:48.70\00:27:50.03
Praise God. And
He is so powerful.
00:27:50.07\00:27:52.83
You know, He has done it for me,
00:27:52.87\00:27:54.50
He has done it for many of us
on here and He is not done yet.
00:27:54.54\00:27:57.41
He is still working on me.
00:27:57.44\00:27:58.77
Please, know that He
is still working on me.
00:27:58.81\00:28:00.48
He is still allowing
me to live a pure life
00:28:00.51\00:28:04.91
because I choose every day
00:28:04.95\00:28:07.48
to make my choice
Jesus, to make my choice Him,
00:28:07.52\00:28:10.92
and because of
that He is honoring that
00:28:10.95\00:28:13.42
and cleaning me up.
00:28:13.46\00:28:14.79
I'm so thankful for that.
00:28:14.82\00:28:16.16
It's a powerful and beautiful
and wonderful place to be.
00:28:16.19\00:28:19.46
I just want to
leave that to you guys.
00:28:19.49\00:28:20.83
Motivation, like my
Pastor Douglas says,
00:28:20.86\00:28:23.00
don't stop, keep
pressing forward,
00:28:23.03\00:28:24.93
keep trying and know that
you can make Pure Choices.
00:28:24.97\00:28:28.40
God bless you.
00:28:28.44\00:28:29.77