The following program
discusses sensitive issues.
00:00:01.36\00:00:03.40
Parents are
cautioned that some material
00:00:03.43\00:00:05.20
may be too candid
for younger children.
00:00:05.23\00:00:07.20
Hello, and
welcome to Pure Choices.
00:00:40.00\00:00:41.80
I'm your host
Pastor Joshua Nelson
00:00:41.84\00:00:43.91
and we have a great
00:00:43.94\00:00:45.27
and exciting
topic for you today.
00:00:45.31\00:00:47.14
We're titling
this, 50 Shades of Grey.
00:00:47.18\00:00:50.45
And we're talking
about what is acceptable
00:00:50.48\00:00:52.58
to do as a
Christian in the bedroom,
00:00:52.61\00:00:54.62
of course, once you're married.
00:00:54.65\00:00:55.98
So we're going to get
right into this discussion,
00:00:56.02\00:00:57.79
this is definitely a one
00:00:57.82\00:00:59.15
that a lot of us
question about, talk about.
00:00:59.19\00:01:01.62
We don't really,
00:01:01.66\00:01:02.99
I think often talk
about it in a public place.
00:01:03.02\00:01:05.36
So now we're
gonna put on the camera
00:01:05.39\00:01:06.73
and we want to see what happens,
00:01:06.76\00:01:08.10
you know, God's gonna lead this.
00:01:08.13\00:01:09.46
So let's start
00:01:09.50\00:01:10.83
and just have a word
of prayer before we go on.
00:01:10.87\00:01:12.63
Heavenly, Father, we need
Your presence here right now
00:01:12.67\00:01:15.57
as we discuss the
sacredness of marriage
00:01:15.60\00:01:18.27
and what is acceptable
to do as married couples.
00:01:18.31\00:01:21.34
We ask, Father,
that You would allow us
00:01:21.38\00:01:22.78
to just hear Your presence
00:01:22.81\00:01:24.51
at this time in
Jesus' name we pray, amen.
00:01:24.55\00:01:26.98
Amen.
00:01:27.02\00:01:28.35
All right, let's go ahead
00:01:28.38\00:01:29.72
and start introducing our panel.
00:01:29.75\00:01:31.09
We have to my left
Paster John Coaxum,
00:01:31.12\00:01:34.09
who is the associate pastor
at the Glenville SDA Church
00:01:34.12\00:01:37.23
in Cleveland, Ohio,
00:01:37.26\00:01:38.93
so glad to have him with us.
00:01:38.96\00:01:40.90
And then we have
Dr. Jeanne Mogusu
00:01:40.93\00:01:42.66
who is a graduate
at Andrews University
00:01:42.70\00:01:45.53
and so we're happy that
she is here today, as well.
00:01:45.57\00:01:48.70
We have Pastor K.P.
00:01:48.74\00:01:50.37
Douglas who is a
pastor of two churches
00:01:50.41\00:01:52.81
in Southeast Missouri,
00:01:52.84\00:01:54.54
so glad to have you my, friend.
00:01:54.58\00:01:56.08
Also we have Brittany Hill
00:01:56.11\00:01:57.58
who is recent
graduate of Andrews University
00:01:57.61\00:02:00.32
and she is with us today
with her great knowledge.
00:02:00.35\00:02:02.68
So we're so happy to
have this panel here today
00:02:02.72\00:02:04.85
to discuss this topic.
00:02:04.89\00:02:06.22
A little sensitive,
would you not agree,
00:02:06.25\00:02:07.59
it's little sensitive topic?
00:02:07.62\00:02:08.96
But I'm...
00:02:08.99\00:02:10.33
Very sensitive. Yeah.
00:02:10.36\00:02:11.69
So we're gonna get
into it the best we can.
00:02:11.73\00:02:14.10
But let's start with maybe
a little easier question here
00:02:14.13\00:02:17.50
in terms of what's
acceptable to do in the bedroom?
00:02:17.53\00:02:19.83
And I know that I'm the only one
00:02:19.87\00:02:21.20
who's married here at the time
00:02:21.24\00:02:22.57
and I know Korey
looking to get married,
00:02:22.60\00:02:23.94
Brittany, you're
looking to get married as well.
00:02:23.97\00:02:25.31
We're all looking to get marry,
I know, that if you're engaged.
00:02:25.34\00:02:27.31
So we're gonna discuss this
and this is an important thing,
00:02:27.34\00:02:31.08
so first I wanna ask
in terms of the media,
00:02:31.11\00:02:34.55
in terms of what is
portrayed, and even the porn
00:02:34.58\00:02:38.65
that, you know, a lot
of us had been exposed to,
00:02:38.69\00:02:41.79
what part has that played
in shaping our sexual appetite?
00:02:41.82\00:02:47.90
Well, I mean I think
it's played a huge part,
00:02:47.93\00:02:49.80
you know.
00:02:49.83\00:02:51.17
I mean, if you think about it,
00:02:51.20\00:02:52.53
if you said to a
little kid what is sex?
00:02:52.57\00:02:54.20
You know, they
have absolutely no idea.
00:02:54.24\00:02:56.67
I think by the time
we get to a certain age,
00:02:56.71\00:02:58.51
we've seen so many
things on television commercial,
00:02:58.54\00:03:01.08
even having, you
know, watch pornography
00:03:01.11\00:03:03.24
there's something,
there's at least certain things
00:03:03.28\00:03:04.95
you expect
00:03:04.98\00:03:06.31
because it has kind
of educated you somewhat
00:03:06.35\00:03:08.88
on what to expect.
00:03:08.92\00:03:10.29
You know, and talking
about the effects of it,
00:03:10.32\00:03:11.92
I can speak for myself.
00:03:11.95\00:03:13.49
I'm just going to be real,
there are some things I've seen
00:03:13.52\00:03:16.19
and I'm just like, "Wow."
00:03:16.22\00:03:17.56
You know, things
that you didn't even think
00:03:17.59\00:03:18.93
were humanly possible. Right.
00:03:18.96\00:03:20.60
You know, but the more
and more you see that stuff,
00:03:20.63\00:03:23.10
is a more you kind
of begin to accept it
00:03:23.13\00:03:24.73
and maybe even
expect it, you know, so...
00:03:24.77\00:03:26.97
Yeah, yeah, that's so true.
00:03:27.00\00:03:28.34
I mean, I know a
friend of mine who said that,
00:03:28.37\00:03:30.77
you know, sex was not
sex unless it was with,
00:03:30.81\00:03:32.61
you know, more than
two people, you know.
00:03:32.64\00:03:35.08
He had been so corrupted,
00:03:35.11\00:03:36.44
he actually grew, went into
the porn industry and stuff,
00:03:36.48\00:03:38.28
he had been so into it
00:03:38.31\00:03:39.88
that it just soaked,
his mind was just gone,
00:03:39.91\00:03:42.35
like he just
didn't see it as fun
00:03:42.38\00:03:44.19
if it was just
one person, you know.
00:03:44.22\00:03:45.79
And so or as, you know,
enjoy whatever the case is.
00:03:45.82\00:03:47.82
So, you know, you
can get to that point.
00:03:47.86\00:03:49.56
I can see what you're saying
00:03:49.59\00:03:51.16
with indulging too
much into that arena.
00:03:51.19\00:03:55.83
Let's talk more
about the media as well.
00:03:55.86\00:03:58.40
What part does that
play in our appetite?
00:03:58.43\00:04:01.70
Brittany, you wanna add to that?
00:04:01.74\00:04:03.34
I was going to say
that due to the fact
00:04:03.37\00:04:04.74
that we don't really
talk about sex in church
00:04:04.77\00:04:08.14
and even among our family,
the media plays a huge part
00:04:08.18\00:04:11.25
of what do you think
is supposed to happen,
00:04:11.28\00:04:12.95
what does it really look like.
00:04:12.98\00:04:14.55
You don't really
know what it looks like
00:04:14.58\00:04:15.92
until you actually watch TV,
00:04:15.95\00:04:18.05
or probably stumble on
a website, or on a DVD,
00:04:18.09\00:04:21.66
and then you're like,
"Oh, that's what it looks like,
00:04:21.69\00:04:23.69
that's what
you're supposed to do.
00:04:23.73\00:04:25.09
Oh, you can that
too. Oh, that too. Okay."
00:04:25.13\00:04:27.90
So it plays a huge
part in telling you,
00:04:27.93\00:04:30.53
okay, when you actually
comes to your time to have sex,
00:04:30.57\00:04:34.24
this is the possibilities
that you can go on and explore.
00:04:34.27\00:04:38.57
Yeah, that's true.
That's a good point.
00:04:38.61\00:04:40.58
Yeah, I mean, I didn't
know what certain things were
00:04:40.61\00:04:42.58
until I had to
look it up and find out.
00:04:42.61\00:04:44.45
You know, I mean, you know,
00:04:44.48\00:04:45.88
you hear people
talking about stuff
00:04:45.91\00:04:47.25
and being and as a
Christian growing up,
00:04:47.28\00:04:49.55
you kinda learn
things little late, you know,
00:04:49.58\00:04:50.99
so you're trying to catch up,
00:04:51.02\00:04:52.35
you know, and
that's a good point.
00:04:52.39\00:04:53.72
We're not
discussing these things
00:04:53.76\00:04:55.09
that had people even know.
00:04:55.12\00:04:56.46
I think too, you
know, that sex sells, man,
00:04:56.49\00:04:58.89
it's what people want, you know,
00:04:58.93\00:05:00.26
it gives people certain feeling.
00:05:00.30\00:05:02.06
And so, if you pay attention
even to just advertisements,
00:05:02.10\00:05:05.23
you know, those 30 to 60 seconds
00:05:05.27\00:05:07.44
on television, they
will be loaded with sex.
00:05:07.47\00:05:10.01
You know, not even just a show,
I mean, watching a commercial
00:05:10.04\00:05:12.61
and I'm like, "What
are they advertising?"
00:05:12.64\00:05:14.28
And it will come down,
they're advertising like
00:05:14.31\00:05:15.68
a bar soap or a bag of chips.
00:05:15.71\00:05:18.18
And I'm like, how
could you possibly,
00:05:18.21\00:05:20.15
you know, like what did that
have to do with bag of chips?
00:05:20.18\00:05:21.78
Right, right.
00:05:21.82\00:05:23.15
You know, but honestly
at the end of the commercial
00:05:23.18\00:05:24.52
you're really like I
really need to go out
00:05:24.55\00:05:25.89
and get this bag of chips...
Get that bag of chips, yeah.
00:05:25.92\00:05:27.59
Another thing you can do.
00:05:27.62\00:05:28.96
You know, and so
it plays a huge part.
00:05:28.99\00:05:31.16
It plays a really huge part,
00:05:31.19\00:05:32.53
it really shapes
the way that we think
00:05:32.56\00:05:34.00
and our expectations
00:05:34.03\00:05:35.53
once we do enter into
that marriage chamber.
00:05:35.56\00:05:38.20
Right, right. Yeah.
00:05:38.23\00:05:39.80
And I think one thing that
we need to establish is that
00:05:39.83\00:05:43.30
even though we may
not be married right now,
00:05:43.34\00:05:46.24
for those of us who are not old,
00:05:46.27\00:05:47.71
looking to get married,
00:05:47.74\00:05:49.44
this topic really
needs to be broached.
00:05:49.48\00:05:54.22
Like it's something
that needs to be brought up
00:05:54.25\00:05:55.88
because you may
think of this is,
00:05:55.92\00:06:01.39
you know, people come
from different places.
00:06:01.42\00:06:04.19
And so you may find yourself,
00:06:04.23\00:06:07.66
you know, already
married to someone
00:06:07.70\00:06:09.13
who asks you to go places
00:06:09.16\00:06:12.00
that you don't
feel comfortable with.
00:06:12.03\00:06:14.54
And you don't want to or
you may think are unnatural
00:06:14.57\00:06:18.74
or against your faith.
00:06:18.77\00:06:20.91
And so you may,
00:06:20.94\00:06:22.28
this is a conversation
that needs to be had,
00:06:22.31\00:06:24.78
you know, some would
argue before you get married.
00:06:24.81\00:06:26.88
Yeah, yeah.
00:06:26.92\00:06:28.25
And it's tough as it may be
00:06:28.28\00:06:29.62
for you to have that discussion,
00:06:29.65\00:06:31.25
you need to just
have that discussion.
00:06:31.29\00:06:32.62
Yeah, let's go through.
00:06:32.65\00:06:33.99
Yeah, I guess I wanna say,
00:06:34.02\00:06:35.36
you know, if I
don't have God in my life,
00:06:35.39\00:06:36.73
if didn't know the Bible,
00:06:36.76\00:06:38.09
If I wasn't aware
of spiritual things,
00:06:38.13\00:06:40.00
if I just took
media at face value
00:06:40.03\00:06:42.10
and everything that I know,
00:06:42.13\00:06:43.47
I probably wouldn't get married.
00:06:43.50\00:06:45.43
I mean, why would I?
00:06:45.47\00:06:46.80
For everything that
media teaches us and tells us
00:06:46.84\00:06:48.50
I mean, I'm just supposed
to go out there, have fun,
00:06:48.54\00:06:50.67
you know, try it
before I buy, enjoy life,
00:06:50.71\00:06:53.04
what is the point
of getting married
00:06:53.07\00:06:54.41
when I can have so
many different women,
00:06:54.44\00:06:56.75
you know, coming
from a man's perspective?
00:06:56.78\00:06:58.38
You know, I also say, you
know, from a man's perspective
00:06:58.41\00:07:00.98
the media kind of teaches
us, man, that woman are objects.
00:07:01.02\00:07:03.62
You know,
they're not really even,
00:07:03.65\00:07:05.19
they're not even
people so to speak.
00:07:05.22\00:07:07.72
And we watch all
these music videos,
00:07:07.76\00:07:09.39
it's just like they're
objects of my affection.
00:07:09.42\00:07:11.36
Yeah, yeah. You know, to be had.
00:07:11.39\00:07:13.36
Yeah, That's so true.
00:07:13.40\00:07:14.73
It's a powerful point
and disturbing point as well.
00:07:14.76\00:07:16.36
I mean, you know,
00:07:16.40\00:07:17.73
what really would be
the reason to get married?
00:07:17.77\00:07:19.87
I mean, there's
just so much corruption
00:07:19.90\00:07:24.11
that happens in the media
00:07:24.14\00:07:25.47
in proprioception to
really how sex should happen.
00:07:25.51\00:07:29.91
You know, and let alone,
they are not encouraging us
00:07:29.94\00:07:32.41
to have sex in
marriage, you know.
00:07:32.45\00:07:34.65
And so, there
are so many things.
00:07:34.68\00:07:36.85
Let's gonna get off
this the media thing,
00:07:36.89\00:07:38.99
let's kind of go into
00:07:39.02\00:07:40.36
the big question
of the day, okay.
00:07:40.39\00:07:42.86
What is acceptable to do?
00:07:42.89\00:07:44.99
Or what if says I like this,
what is not acceptable to do
00:07:45.03\00:07:48.70
in the bedroom
as a married couple?
00:07:48.73\00:07:51.73
Good question.
00:07:51.77\00:07:53.10
Okay, so what... I
think you should...
00:07:53.13\00:07:54.47
Oh, Jeanne, go ahead. No, no.
00:07:54.50\00:07:55.84
I think we should preface
that with what's ever we do,
00:07:55.87\00:07:58.47
we do it to the glory of God.
00:07:58.51\00:08:00.38
And if we know we're
doing it to the glory of God
00:08:00.41\00:08:02.34
that always means
00:08:02.38\00:08:03.71
that, you're not, I
mean, in my, I would say,
00:08:03.75\00:08:09.58
I would think that
you want to always put
00:08:09.62\00:08:13.36
the other
person's before yourself.
00:08:13.39\00:08:16.49
You always want
to have an unselfish,
00:08:16.52\00:08:20.20
how can I say,
an unselfish view,
00:08:20.23\00:08:25.10
because it is
something very intimate to you,
00:08:25.13\00:08:27.77
you want to be
considerate of the other person,
00:08:27.80\00:08:30.21
you want to take the
other person's view points,
00:08:30.24\00:08:32.54
and it is an act of love
00:08:32.57\00:08:36.44
as much as it
is worship I guess.
00:08:36.48\00:08:38.31
So what do you do
then if that person like
00:08:38.35\00:08:40.18
I want my wife to
do something for me
00:08:40.22\00:08:42.95
but she doesn't feel
comfortable doing that,
00:08:42.98\00:08:44.79
you know, and
she's trying to please me
00:08:44.82\00:08:46.25
but yet in order
for her to please me
00:08:46.29\00:08:48.06
it's making her
feel uncomfortable.
00:08:48.09\00:08:50.09
Then I would ask you,
what your motives are?
00:08:50.13\00:08:52.26
Like what are your intentions?
00:08:52.29\00:08:54.86
How do you feel about her?
00:08:54.90\00:08:56.23
Because I would say
that if you love her
00:08:56.26\00:08:59.50
and you know that what
you're asking her to do
00:08:59.53\00:09:01.40
is uncomfortable for her,
00:09:01.44\00:09:02.94
then why would you
go ahead and ask her?
00:09:02.97\00:09:05.57
I mean, it's like going
out to dinner with someone
00:09:05.61\00:09:09.24
who doesn't want to eat
with you in the first place.
00:09:09.28\00:09:11.41
You know, it just
changes the whole experience,
00:09:11.45\00:09:14.08
it's numbs.
00:09:14.12\00:09:15.45
I wouldn't even
wanna go eat with them.
00:09:15.48\00:09:18.75
Right, right, right.
00:09:18.79\00:09:20.32
All right, Korey, you
want to say something?
00:09:20.36\00:09:21.96
Listen, I mean,
we can go biblical.
00:09:26.63\00:09:28.90
You know, the text, you
know, we would talk in earlier
00:09:28.93\00:09:32.17
Hebrews, you
know, tells us that,
00:09:32.20\00:09:33.87
you know, you should
keep the marriage bed pure.
00:09:33.90\00:09:36.07
But then, you know, I'm
hearing what Jeanne is saying,
00:09:36.10\00:09:38.11
I'm being real,
I'm thinking to myself
00:09:38.14\00:09:39.47
what does that mean
00:09:39.51\00:09:40.84
because it still kind
of left an interpretation.
00:09:40.88\00:09:42.38
I immediately begin
to think of cultures
00:09:42.41\00:09:45.18
and I won't name them where,
00:09:45.21\00:09:47.12
you know, they all go so far
00:09:47.15\00:09:49.05
as to have a blanket
with a hole cut in it
00:09:49.08\00:09:51.72
simply to have sex,
00:09:51.75\00:09:53.09
where they will not
even look at each other
00:09:53.12\00:09:55.22
because they're so
afraid to defile the bed
00:09:55.26\00:09:58.59
or to offend
God in their action.
00:09:58.63\00:10:01.53
And I think what we forget
is that sex is a gift from God,
00:10:01.56\00:10:04.33
it's something that's holy.
00:10:04.37\00:10:05.70
It's something that is supposed
to be enjoyed by both people.
00:10:05.73\00:10:08.70
I think, Jeanne touches
on a very important part.
00:10:08.74\00:10:11.84
Everything in life
is always gonna board
00:10:11.87\00:10:13.21
on the why we're doing this?
00:10:13.24\00:10:14.64
You know, and I
think that we're trained,
00:10:14.68\00:10:16.01
we don't want
to go back to media
00:10:16.04\00:10:17.38
but we're trained
that sex is about us.
00:10:17.41\00:10:19.61
It's about what I
get from my partner.
00:10:19.65\00:10:21.42
It's about my
partner pleasing me.
00:10:21.45\00:10:23.35
Jesus says in Matthew, no,
He says in Luke, excuse me.
00:10:23.39\00:10:26.25
Luke 6, Jesus says,
"God gives to everyone."
00:10:26.29\00:10:29.69
He goes so far
as He lends to those
00:10:29.72\00:10:32.03
who He does not even
expect to get back from.
00:10:32.06\00:10:34.46
He gives, He loves without
expecting love in return.
00:10:34.50\00:10:37.33
And then Jesus says, "Be
perfect as God is perfect."
00:10:37.37\00:10:39.83
Experience that
level of relationship
00:10:39.87\00:10:42.00
where your thought is
to please your partner
00:10:42.04\00:10:45.04
and not to
please yourself. Right.
00:10:45.07\00:10:46.81
And I think that would take
00:10:46.84\00:10:48.18
even a lot of the
perversion out of it
00:10:48.21\00:10:49.54
because now it's
not you thinking well,
00:10:49.58\00:10:51.05
how do I spice things
up so that I enjoy it,
00:10:51.08\00:10:53.82
you know, but what
can I do for my partner,
00:10:53.85\00:10:56.35
you know, and I think
that's a good place to start.
00:10:56.38\00:10:58.15
Okay, and I like that you added,
00:10:58.19\00:10:59.79
you talked about that
text that we often use
00:10:59.82\00:11:01.92
or people use to kind of say,
00:11:01.96\00:11:03.29
"I can do whatever I
want in the bedroom."
00:11:03.32\00:11:04.69
So, Brittany, I
want you to explain
00:11:04.73\00:11:06.19
that text
little bit more for us?
00:11:06.23\00:11:07.96
The text is Hebrews 13:4,
00:11:08.00\00:11:11.37
we always quote the
marriage bed is undefiled
00:11:11.40\00:11:13.84
and we forget
that it has a context.
00:11:13.87\00:11:16.07
And the text starts saying that,
00:11:16.10\00:11:18.07
"The marriage should be honored
00:11:18.11\00:11:20.78
and the marriage
bed is undefiled."
00:11:20.81\00:11:23.21
Some other version say,
"Marriage should be honored
00:11:23.24\00:11:26.38
and marriage be kept pure
00:11:26.41\00:11:28.68
or marriage bed undefiled."
00:11:28.72\00:11:31.02
So basically, it's stating that
00:11:31.05\00:11:33.59
when you're
coming to your spouse.
00:11:33.62\00:11:35.99
You've been married
00:11:36.02\00:11:37.36
when you guys
approach a sexual encounter,
00:11:37.39\00:11:39.79
it should be pure,
00:11:39.83\00:11:41.30
it shouldn't be something crazy
00:11:41.33\00:11:43.00
as in you're
bringing in two partners,
00:11:43.03\00:11:44.50
three partners, four partners.
00:11:44.53\00:11:45.87
No.
00:11:45.90\00:11:47.24
It shouldn't also
be dangerous neither,
00:11:47.27\00:11:48.80
it should be something that
can bring glory and honor to God
00:11:48.84\00:11:51.47
because the
marriage should be honored.
00:11:51.51\00:11:53.04
Right, right.
00:11:53.07\00:11:54.41
And that's a beautiful
point especially thinking about
00:11:54.44\00:11:56.95
the origins of sex and marriage.
00:11:56.98\00:11:58.58
Like God gave us
this gift and so,
00:11:58.61\00:12:00.65
you know, you are doing
this not aside from Him,
00:12:00.68\00:12:03.69
saying, this is
what I just want to do,
00:12:03.72\00:12:05.32
but this is now an
experience you're having,
00:12:05.35\00:12:06.69
you know, with your wife and God
00:12:06.72\00:12:08.82
or, you know,
your husband and God.
00:12:08.86\00:12:10.53
So, you know,
and saying that then,
00:12:10.56\00:12:15.50
let's get a
little deeper then, okay.
00:12:15.53\00:12:17.17
Let's go little deeper
and really kind of answer
00:12:17.20\00:12:20.14
some of the
questions, is oral sex okay?
00:12:20.17\00:12:24.24
Or should you stay
in certain position?
00:12:24.27\00:12:26.07
Is there, you know,
should you not bring toys
00:12:26.11\00:12:28.18
into the bedroom?
00:12:28.21\00:12:29.54
Is that gonna defile
00:12:29.58\00:12:30.95
or make the marriage bed impure?
00:12:30.98\00:12:33.01
You know, where
do you draw the line
00:12:33.05\00:12:35.68
in terms of extra things?
00:12:35.72\00:12:40.09
I'm gonna be honest.
00:12:40.12\00:12:41.92
I think that we have been
given so many points of view
00:12:41.96\00:12:44.29
that it is very hard for me
to say where we draw the line.
00:12:44.33\00:12:47.16
I'm just gonna be real.
00:12:47.20\00:12:48.53
You know, is oral sex bad?
00:12:48.56\00:12:49.90
I don't know.
00:12:49.93\00:12:51.27
I'm just gonna say I don't know.
00:12:51.30\00:12:52.63
And I think sometimes
that's a good place to start,
00:12:52.67\00:12:54.10
I don't know.
00:12:54.14\00:12:55.47
Now is our toys okay?
00:12:55.50\00:12:56.84
I would have to say, no.
00:12:56.87\00:12:58.21
I feel like God
gave us what we need.
00:12:58.24\00:13:00.01
You know in the beginning.
00:13:00.04\00:13:01.38
And He didn't
say to Adam and Eve,
00:13:01.41\00:13:02.74
"Be fruitful and multiply,
00:13:02.78\00:13:04.11
here are some toys
to help you do that."
00:13:04.15\00:13:05.48
He jus said, "Be
fruitful and multiply."
00:13:05.51\00:13:08.28
You know, and so I wouldn't say
00:13:08.32\00:13:11.02
we shouldn't bring
things into the bedroom
00:13:11.05\00:13:12.39
but, I mean, we have a
lot of conflicting views
00:13:12.42\00:13:14.99
so even something is
simple as oral sex, is that bad?
00:13:15.02\00:13:19.93
And that goes back to,
you know, us just being real.
00:13:19.96\00:13:23.00
I mean, I know us three
as men, you know, for us,
00:13:23.03\00:13:25.73
you know, our exposure to porn,
00:13:25.77\00:13:27.70
you know, and our
exposing to sexual versions
00:13:27.74\00:13:30.27
and, you know,
it's kind of skewed
00:13:30.31\00:13:32.94
our thinking and our mind.
00:13:32.97\00:13:34.31
Really, how do you
really answer that question,
00:13:34.34\00:13:35.74
it's a good point, yeah.
00:13:35.78\00:13:37.35
I think as men, you
know, especially, man,
00:13:37.38\00:13:39.21
we expect the women that
we ultimately end up with
00:13:39.25\00:13:42.88
or even the
women that we're dating
00:13:42.92\00:13:44.25
or in relationship
with to do the same things
00:13:44.29\00:13:45.82
that are
happening on the screen.
00:13:45.85\00:13:47.59
Pornography and
things of that nature.
00:13:47.62\00:13:49.06
And so we don't even,
00:13:49.09\00:13:50.43
you know, think about what
God thinks about it or what...
00:13:50.46\00:13:53.03
What she may think about
it? What she may think about it?
00:13:53.06\00:13:54.66
Even why we're doing?
00:13:54.70\00:13:56.03
And it's just like,
you know, I've seen this,
00:13:56.06\00:13:57.60
it's in my mind,
00:13:57.63\00:13:58.97
and I want to re-enact
what is happening there.
00:13:59.00\00:14:00.87
Especially because you kind
of want to experience it too.
00:14:00.90\00:14:03.51
You know, I'm
just gonna be real.
00:14:03.54\00:14:04.87
You're watching a
pornography and you say,
00:14:04.91\00:14:06.24
I mean,
everybody, they're acting
00:14:06.27\00:14:07.78
but they make it
look so enjoyable
00:14:07.81\00:14:09.38
and you're like, is
that really enjoyable?
00:14:09.41\00:14:11.75
You know, and some part of you,
00:14:11.78\00:14:13.62
I'm not married so
I can't really say,
00:14:13.65\00:14:15.48
you know, I
haven't had that experience
00:14:15.52\00:14:16.85
but I can imagine
00:14:16.89\00:14:18.22
when you get to that
point you'd be thinking,
00:14:18.25\00:14:19.59
"Well, I wan to see
if that's enjoyable too."
00:14:19.62\00:14:21.46
You know, so... Yeah, yeah.
00:14:21.49\00:14:23.06
It really forces you to
really put your ideas of sex
00:14:23.09\00:14:28.53
through a filter
that God has given you.
00:14:28.56\00:14:30.47
You know, you have to now,
00:14:30.50\00:14:32.33
'cause before you know,
your filter has just been
00:14:32.37\00:14:33.84
whatever I think is
right, whatever, you know,
00:14:33.87\00:14:35.70
but, you know,
00:14:35.74\00:14:37.07
when you're really
deciding to make pure choice
00:14:37.11\00:14:38.44
and you're really
deciding to be with God,
00:14:38.47\00:14:39.97
you have to then really ask God,
00:14:40.01\00:14:42.21
and your partner, and
your wife or your husband,
00:14:42.24\00:14:45.48
you know, what is
that we should be doing?
00:14:45.51\00:14:48.78
And I think also,
00:14:48.82\00:14:50.15
I mean, people
always make the assumption
00:14:50.19\00:14:51.52
that it's only pornography
that shapes your views of sex
00:14:51.55\00:14:56.79
but there are other
avenues that people like what,
00:14:56.83\00:15:01.50
and the problem or
the worst part about it is
00:15:01.53\00:15:05.23
we have now graded,
00:15:05.27\00:15:07.37
you know, like we have
hardcore or soft porn...
00:15:07.40\00:15:11.67
Soft, yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:15:11.71\00:15:13.04
You know, we graded
00:15:13.07\00:15:14.41
so that we feel
a little bit better
00:15:14.44\00:15:15.78
about ourselves when we do it.
00:15:15.81\00:15:17.71
Like women have novels,
you know, that sometimes go,
00:15:17.75\00:15:23.02
yeah, which is
just like pornography
00:15:23.05\00:15:24.95
and I would even
suggest that it's worse
00:15:24.99\00:15:26.96
because your brain is
like your biggest sexual organ.
00:15:26.99\00:15:32.36
The kind of things
00:15:32.39\00:15:33.73
that your brain is
designed to imagine
00:15:33.76\00:15:35.96
are unimaginable,
00:15:36.00\00:15:37.90
which is why
you're imagining them.
00:15:37.93\00:15:39.87
So you know... Yeah, yeah.
00:15:39.90\00:15:43.41
So, I mean, there
are various avenues
00:15:43.44\00:15:46.88
so it's not just the
porn, you know, that is bad,
00:15:46.91\00:15:50.68
it's also there's
other I guess windows into,
00:15:50.71\00:15:57.05
I guess a room
that should remain...
00:15:57.09\00:15:59.39
Yeah, it should
be remained closed.
00:15:59.42\00:16:00.76
Yeah. Yeah, closed.
00:16:00.79\00:16:02.12
Something may we should
never even knew or experience,
00:16:02.16\00:16:04.03
you know, unforbidden fruit..
00:16:04.06\00:16:05.73
And I would like to add
00:16:05.76\00:16:07.63
for you, guys, may
be certain types of porn
00:16:07.66\00:16:09.60
would suggest that a woman
should be treated as an object
00:16:09.63\00:16:14.47
but for our
certain types of books
00:16:14.50\00:16:16.00
that we end up reading or
even they have women porn,
00:16:16.04\00:16:18.91
which is porn
for women to watch.
00:16:18.94\00:16:20.98
They portray men to
be, of course, in control
00:16:21.01\00:16:27.78
and also the
woman is been pleased
00:16:27.82\00:16:30.69
at all types of
different heights,
00:16:30.72\00:16:32.05
like she is the main one
00:16:32.09\00:16:33.42
that's getting
the complete pleasure
00:16:33.46\00:16:35.39
or even for the novels
00:16:35.42\00:16:36.76
how probably the gentlemen
will come in and how he takes,
00:16:36.79\00:16:40.63
it's basically you
guys have one perspective...
00:16:40.66\00:16:43.50
The woman gets
another perspective.
00:16:43.53\00:16:45.40
And then when you get married,
you're coming into the bedroom,
00:16:45.43\00:16:47.44
you're like, "How
does this work out?"
00:16:47.47\00:16:48.80
Yeah, it clashes. Yeah.
00:16:48.84\00:16:50.17
Wow, wow.
00:16:50.21\00:16:51.54
And the devil then
played a part in that,
00:16:51.57\00:16:53.81
a huge role in that, you
know, in creating that lie
00:16:53.84\00:16:56.48
that would really corrupt,
00:16:56.51\00:16:57.88
you know, that marriage
that God created to be so pure.
00:16:57.91\00:17:01.15
You know, now because
of these extra things,
00:17:01.18\00:17:02.92
we have no idea
of, you know, saying,
00:17:02.95\00:17:04.69
we have no idea really
where to go, what to do.
00:17:04.72\00:17:06.32
And that suggests that's
why you have to talk about it.
00:17:06.35\00:17:08.66
Because until you know
where someone is coming from,
00:17:08.69\00:17:11.59
you really can, you basically
you're going into something
00:17:11.63\00:17:16.10
totally, two
dysfunctional people coming
00:17:16.13\00:17:20.87
from two
dysfunctional viewpoints
00:17:20.90\00:17:23.44
and you're trying to
make them into this pure
00:17:23.47\00:17:26.41
and sanctified
holy union... Yeah.
00:17:26.44\00:17:31.38
Which is, you know,
you're trying to get
00:17:31.41\00:17:32.95
something good out of ugliness.
00:17:32.98\00:17:35.45
And that's why I
think it's really,
00:17:35.48\00:17:37.25
and that's why we
have pure choices...
00:17:37.29\00:17:39.35
You know, the idea of
surrendering your will
00:17:39.39\00:17:42.49
and your life to God,
00:17:42.52\00:17:44.06
and having God
principle to shape your thinking
00:17:44.09\00:17:48.26
in what it is that
should be in the marriage bed,
00:17:48.30\00:17:51.87
or what is right,
or how far you can go?
00:17:51.90\00:17:54.60
'Cause if you're
left to ourselves,
00:17:54.64\00:17:57.31
could Lord, I
mean, look at us today...
00:17:57.34\00:18:00.48
Yeah, yeah.
00:18:00.51\00:18:01.84
You know, we're talking
about things that we shouldn't.
00:18:01.88\00:18:04.98
We shouldn't even
be thinking about.
00:18:05.01\00:18:06.95
Yeah, and I mean, and
really answering the question
00:18:06.98\00:18:10.35
because, I mean, I
think maybe someone's
00:18:10.39\00:18:12.45
maybe thinking, okay,
is it wrong or is it not.
00:18:12.49\00:18:14.52
We haven't really said that,
00:18:14.56\00:18:15.89
I mean, we
really maybe don't know
00:18:15.92\00:18:17.73
but I always try
to look in the Bible
00:18:17.76\00:18:19.73
to see if I can
find any examples,
00:18:19.76\00:18:21.23
you know, of oral sex
maybe let's say, okay.
00:18:21.26\00:18:25.23
And I mean, we
read Song of Solomon.
00:18:25.27\00:18:26.70
Now we all know that's the book,
00:18:26.74\00:18:28.87
you know, it has a
lot of things in there.
00:18:28.90\00:18:31.24
You know, but there are
some things people will say,
00:18:31.27\00:18:32.87
he does kind of allude
00:18:32.91\00:18:34.31
or that she allude to that
when they're in their passion.
00:18:34.34\00:18:39.58
But one thing that I know,
00:18:39.61\00:18:40.95
however you, we
can argue it all day,
00:18:40.98\00:18:42.32
but one thing I notice
about the Song of Solomon
00:18:42.35\00:18:44.52
is that the words that they used
00:18:44.55\00:18:46.35
and the imagery is so beautiful,
00:18:46.39\00:18:48.12
you know, that it really does
if anything heighten the level
00:18:48.16\00:18:51.26
of how beautiful sex should be,
00:18:51.29\00:18:52.76
you know, and how
important it is as opposed to,
00:18:52.79\00:18:55.86
you know, maybe with pornography
00:18:55.90\00:18:57.23
or these books and stuff
that it's just so hardcore.
00:18:57.27\00:18:59.20
You know, just get what you
want out of the whole thing.
00:18:59.23\00:19:03.07
So I think at
the end of the day,
00:19:03.10\00:19:04.61
you know,
wondering what we should do,
00:19:04.64\00:19:06.84
it does like you
were saying before,
00:19:06.88\00:19:08.34
it does need to go back to,
00:19:08.38\00:19:10.05
you know, something
beautiful does this,
00:19:10.08\00:19:12.58
how does, what is my wife
and my husband feel comfortable
00:19:12.61\00:19:16.58
with doing in this
marriage relationship?
00:19:16.62\00:19:19.95
But let's go to the
next question I wanna ask
00:19:19.99\00:19:21.79
and that's about health
00:19:21.82\00:19:23.26
because a lot of you
will argue that oral sex
00:19:23.29\00:19:25.76
or other things that
you may bring to the bedroom
00:19:25.79\00:19:27.53
are not good
because it's bad for you.
00:19:27.56\00:19:30.03
Okay.
00:19:30.07\00:19:31.40
What you all feel
about that? Yeah, I agree.
00:19:31.43\00:19:33.97
I think that
anything that is harmful
00:19:34.00\00:19:37.21
or dangerous to your spouse,
00:19:37.24\00:19:39.27
especially, you
know, me as a man,
00:19:39.31\00:19:40.94
if I'm married to a
woman who was my wife,
00:19:40.98\00:19:43.61
I don't want to
damage her in any way.
00:19:43.65\00:19:46.45
So anything that
could cause harm to her,
00:19:46.48\00:19:48.75
especially, you
know, irrevocable harm
00:19:48.78\00:19:50.22
that can't be reversed,
00:19:50.25\00:19:52.45
I'm not touching that
with the ten-foot pole
00:19:52.49\00:19:54.02
Yeah, yeah. Be careful to say.
00:19:54.06\00:19:55.39
Yeah.
00:19:55.42\00:19:57.36
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:19:57.39\00:19:59.56
My fiance and we
actually had a discussion on sex
00:19:59.59\00:20:03.37
early in the game
00:20:03.40\00:20:04.73
'cause we didn't
want any misconceptions.
00:20:04.77\00:20:06.84
And one huge thing
00:20:06.87\00:20:08.20
that we're both
against is anal sex.
00:20:08.24\00:20:10.44
And there's at
least four reasons
00:20:10.47\00:20:11.87
that I personally researched
00:20:11.91\00:20:13.41
of why it just
should not be done,
00:20:13.44\00:20:16.75
if you don't mind
me sharing. Go ahead.
00:20:16.78\00:20:18.61
For the first anal sex,
00:20:18.65\00:20:21.22
anal, the anus doesn't
have the same lubrication
00:20:21.25\00:20:23.35
as the vagina,
so that's just bad.
00:20:23.39\00:20:27.66
I don't think I need to
go any further with that one.
00:20:27.69\00:20:29.46
Yeah.
00:20:29.49\00:20:30.83
Number two, like the
tissue inside is not the same,
00:20:30.86\00:20:34.70
they don't have
the same protection
00:20:34.73\00:20:36.06
as the skin outside anus.
00:20:36.10\00:20:37.43
So therefore, you're
prone to have more infections,
00:20:37.47\00:20:40.50
wherever that's happening with.
00:20:40.54\00:20:42.24
Yeah.
00:20:42.27\00:20:43.61
And the third reason is
00:20:43.64\00:20:44.97
the anus is
supposed to hold feces.
00:20:45.01\00:20:47.01
So when you're
engaging in anal sex,
00:20:47.04\00:20:48.74
you're kind of
weakening its functioning.
00:20:48.78\00:20:51.75
And then for the fourth reason
00:20:51.78\00:20:53.18
is that anus is
full of bacteria.
00:20:53.21\00:20:55.65
So that's harmful to the partner
00:20:55.68\00:20:57.39
that's actually doing it
00:20:57.42\00:20:59.65
because who knows
what type of diseases
00:20:59.69\00:21:01.86
he's actually getting.
00:21:01.89\00:21:03.22
Yeah, yeah. That's so true.
00:21:03.26\00:21:04.59
I appreciate that, you know,
that's something we have to,
00:21:04.63\00:21:06.16
you know, going back to
your harmful to my spouse.
00:21:06.19\00:21:09.80
You know, it's just
'cause you want to do everything
00:21:09.83\00:21:11.87
doesn't mean it's
always the best for you to do.
00:21:11.90\00:21:14.60
You know, so we definitely
have to consider that.
00:21:14.64\00:21:17.07
So now let's, you
know, turn the page here
00:21:17.11\00:21:18.77
and let's start
thinking about positive things
00:21:18.81\00:21:22.44
that we can now do them.
00:21:22.48\00:21:24.18
I mean, someone say,
"What can I do there,
00:21:24.21\00:21:25.81
you know, what can
I do if I'm married?"
00:21:25.85\00:21:27.25
So what are some
things you can do?
00:21:27.28\00:21:28.62
I mean, is it just that
00:21:28.65\00:21:29.98
you should only
do certain position
00:21:30.02\00:21:32.79
or other things we
can do to kind of spice up
00:21:32.82\00:21:34.82
or add some romance
to the marriage bedroom.
00:21:34.86\00:21:38.03
Oh, yeah, I
think it's clear to me
00:21:38.06\00:21:39.39
that we got to have more prayer,
00:21:39.43\00:21:41.00
maybe have little more
devotional thought before.
00:21:41.03\00:21:42.63
You know what I
mean, but really and truly,
00:21:42.66\00:21:47.30
you know, I think spicing
up romance in the bedroom
00:21:47.34\00:21:50.61
and sex, I actually
think that sex begins
00:21:50.64\00:21:53.14
before physical contact. Okay.
00:21:53.17\00:21:55.04
I think there is more to
sex than just physicality.
00:21:55.08\00:21:58.11
I think there is an
emotional, social, mental,
00:21:58.15\00:22:01.18
psyche stimulation
that's going on well before.
00:22:01.22\00:22:04.12
Something that could
spice it up maybe is,
00:22:04.15\00:22:05.72
you know, I'm being
romantic to my wife,
00:22:05.75\00:22:07.12
I'm telling her
how much I love her.
00:22:07.16\00:22:08.52
How much I care
about her. Right.
00:22:08.56\00:22:10.03
You know, I
think about in Genesis
00:22:10.06\00:22:12.36
when Adam first
saw Eve, he said,
00:22:12.39\00:22:14.36
"Now this is bone of my
bone and flesh of my flesh."
00:22:14.40\00:22:17.07
Yes. He was happy.
00:22:17.10\00:22:19.17
He was clearly happy to
see her and attracted to her.
00:22:19.20\00:22:22.30
And stimulated
by her, of course.
00:22:22.34\00:22:23.87
But, and then the
Bible says that he knew her.
00:22:23.91\00:22:26.41
So it began well before
00:22:26.44\00:22:28.14
and I think that married couples
00:22:28.18\00:22:29.51
can begin the act of romance
00:22:29.54\00:22:31.38
well before they
even get to the bedroom
00:22:31.41\00:22:32.88
and that could help spice it up.
00:22:32.91\00:22:34.25
Yeah, yeah. Very
good. I like that.
00:22:34.28\00:22:36.25
All right, our pastor here.
00:22:36.28\00:22:39.62
Well, honestly, John kind of,
00:22:39.65\00:22:41.22
we laughed about it for a second
00:22:41.26\00:22:42.59
but honestly think
that a good place to start
00:22:42.62\00:22:44.09
would actually
really be to pray.
00:22:44.13\00:22:45.79
I don't know if
you pray right before,
00:22:45.83\00:22:47.60
you know, that
might be a little weird.
00:22:47.63\00:22:50.07
I don't know
00:22:50.10\00:22:51.43
but I do think that is something
00:22:51.47\00:22:52.80
that couple should
talk about and pray about.
00:22:52.83\00:22:55.37
You know, "God, we
want to reflect you
00:22:55.40\00:22:58.34
in our marriage
and this is part of it.
00:22:58.37\00:23:00.78
So help us do that
the best we can honestly."
00:23:00.81\00:23:03.98
And that's a
good place to start.
00:23:04.01\00:23:05.35
And I think something
that we should remember is that
00:23:05.38\00:23:07.72
sex is, to me
it's an act of worship.
00:23:07.75\00:23:10.79
If you look at other cultures
they use sex to worship, man.
00:23:10.82\00:23:14.19
And so we kind
of wanna be careful
00:23:14.22\00:23:16.22
how far we go into
to spice things up.
00:23:16.26\00:23:18.56
'Cause I know,
I've heard people say,
00:23:18.59\00:23:20.83
you know, Christians,
"I'm gonna go buy the Kamasutra
00:23:20.86\00:23:23.26
and I'm gonna
learn all the positions
00:23:23.30\00:23:24.63
and stuff like that."
00:23:24.67\00:23:26.00
But you got to be careful
00:23:26.03\00:23:27.37
because in those
kinds of cultures
00:23:27.40\00:23:28.74
those positions
are made for worship.
00:23:28.77\00:23:31.17
And each position is
seen as a specific thing
00:23:31.21\00:23:33.51
and so that's why I'm saying
you need to start with God.
00:23:33.54\00:23:37.08
And it's crazy
because we don't really,
00:23:37.11\00:23:39.65
we pray about everything
00:23:39.68\00:23:41.02
but who is really praying about,
00:23:41.05\00:23:42.38
you know, about their sex life?
00:23:42.42\00:23:43.89
You know, we feel
like it's so taboo
00:23:43.92\00:23:45.85
that we can't pray about it,
but if God has given it to us,
00:23:45.89\00:23:48.09
then I think that's really
where we really should start.
00:23:48.12\00:23:49.92
Yeah, the devil has done a job
00:23:49.96\00:23:51.29
of making it seem like
that separate from God.
00:23:51.33\00:23:52.66
You're like you can't,
God can't bless your sex.
00:23:52.69\00:23:54.70
Right, right. Yeah.
00:23:54.73\00:23:56.06
Isn't it interesting that
whenever we have anything like
00:23:56.10\00:23:58.37
if my car gets broken down,
00:23:58.40\00:24:00.74
it's a Toyota so I'll go
to the Toyota manufacture
00:24:00.77\00:24:03.54
but when, you
know, and if your fridge
00:24:03.57\00:24:05.97
or refrigerator gets messed up,
00:24:06.01\00:24:08.08
if it's Maytag you
go to the Maytag man.
00:24:08.11\00:24:10.25
But when it's kind of,
00:24:10.28\00:24:12.05
you know, when it comes to sex
00:24:12.08\00:24:13.72
we don't want to go to
the person who created it.
00:24:13.75\00:24:15.72
I mean, who knows
better, who knows better.
00:24:15.75\00:24:19.12
Come on now you better pray...
00:24:19.15\00:24:20.49
Yeah, yeah, yeah, we got this...
00:24:20.52\00:24:21.86
Who knows better about sex
than the person who created it,
00:24:21.89\00:24:26.23
you know, and we
always have this idea,
00:24:26.26\00:24:27.96
and I think it goes back
to how we've been conditioned
00:24:28.00\00:24:30.93
because the society
has taken a good thing
00:24:30.97\00:24:33.77
and made it bad,
does not mean that
00:24:33.80\00:24:35.84
its inherent good has been lost.
00:24:35.87\00:24:38.51
You know, sex was
00:24:38.54\00:24:40.44
and still is a
very beautiful thing.
00:24:40.48\00:24:43.61
I mean, if you want to
know how beautiful it is,
00:24:43.65\00:24:45.25
just read the Songs of Solomon.
00:24:45.28\00:24:46.82
Yeah, exactly. I
mean, it's in the Bible.
00:24:46.85\00:24:48.88
You know, and clearly those guys
00:24:48.92\00:24:50.25
are having a good time
because they're singing.
00:24:50.29\00:24:52.75
They're singing a song about it.
00:24:52.79\00:24:54.12
They're singing.
00:24:54.16\00:24:56.02
And they're
having such a good time.
00:24:56.06\00:24:57.63
That's right. They had to put...
00:24:57.66\00:25:00.46
They're having such a good time,
00:25:00.50\00:25:01.83
they had to put a book
about it in the Bible...
00:25:01.86\00:25:03.97
So clearly this
is something that,
00:25:04.00\00:25:06.23
you know, is held in
great standing by God.
00:25:06.27\00:25:08.60
Yeah, yeah.
00:25:08.64\00:25:09.97
But somehow we have been
conditioned to think that,
00:25:10.01\00:25:12.27
"Oh it's something dirty."
00:25:12.31\00:25:13.78
And that's because
we feel like it's dirty,
00:25:13.81\00:25:16.61
we don't want to
share it with God
00:25:16.64\00:25:18.78
and when He's the one who will,
you know, make all things new,
00:25:18.81\00:25:22.48
show us things that we never,
00:25:22.52\00:25:24.19
the Kamasutra would
not even know about.
00:25:24.22\00:25:26.25
Yeah. Yeah, that's right.
00:25:26.29\00:25:27.62
Yeah, amen, I
like that, I like that.
00:25:27.66\00:25:29.62
So we're gonna, I mean,
00:25:29.66\00:25:30.99
this
conversation is really good.
00:25:31.03\00:25:32.36
We can keep going on, I
do want to go to our screen
00:25:32.39\00:25:34.53
because we have some
videos of young people,
00:25:34.56\00:25:37.20
I asked them a question about
how can a young person be pure
00:25:37.23\00:25:40.07
and there's some more
responses that they gave
00:25:40.10\00:25:42.20
and we're gonna discuss
them in just few minutes.
00:25:42.24\00:25:44.01
Let's go to.
00:25:44.04\00:25:45.37
I think that for me you have
to fight for relationship like,
00:25:45.41\00:25:49.88
you know, say, even
if you don't want pure,
00:25:49.91\00:25:53.11
even if you
don't want to be pure,
00:25:53.15\00:25:54.48
you know it's wrong.
00:25:54.52\00:25:55.85
So you can ask Jesus for that
00:25:55.88\00:25:57.22
and then you go
through different means.
00:25:57.25\00:25:59.15
I must stamp on some, or
use some other people stuff
00:25:59.19\00:26:01.89
because that stuff I use
like having a prayer journal.
00:26:01.92\00:26:04.53
You're up in the middle of night
00:26:04.56\00:26:05.89
and you're going through
00:26:05.93\00:26:07.26
whatever kind of thoughts
are going through your head,
00:26:07.30\00:26:09.16
write till you can't write
them more till you fall asleep.
00:26:09.20\00:26:12.57
And then for me
the Lord will like,
00:26:12.60\00:26:14.67
He'll start
moving things around,
00:26:14.70\00:26:16.04
He'll start
showing different things.
00:26:16.07\00:26:17.47
I mean, if you know that
00:26:17.51\00:26:18.84
you shouldn't be in
the room by yourself
00:26:18.87\00:26:20.21
or being in a room by
yourself, just little small
00:26:20.24\00:26:22.24
practical
things that you can do.
00:26:22.28\00:26:24.41
But fight for, fight
for your love of prayer.
00:26:24.45\00:26:26.78
All right, amen.
00:26:26.82\00:26:28.15
So, you know,
this young person here,
00:26:28.18\00:26:29.52
young man, you
know, from Oakwood
00:26:29.55\00:26:31.12
talking about
fighting for that purity
00:26:31.15\00:26:33.39
that's what we have to do.
00:26:33.42\00:26:35.02
Okay, let's get another opinion
00:26:35.06\00:26:36.39
from one of our student viewers.
00:26:36.42\00:26:40.10
I think one thing that
helps us is changing your drive,
00:26:40.13\00:26:42.53
so if a very thing
that's driving you to sin.
00:26:42.56\00:26:45.70
I'll drive that, have
that be the same drive
00:26:45.73\00:26:47.94
to have you do
something positive.
00:26:47.97\00:26:49.50
I know for me it
was reading books,
00:26:49.54\00:26:52.31
I started reading more
00:26:52.34\00:26:53.68
so that drive
that wanting me to sin
00:26:53.71\00:26:55.84
was also that driving
me to read more books,
00:26:55.88\00:26:57.78
or do more homework,
00:26:57.81\00:26:59.15
or go outside and go
for a run in the mornings,
00:26:59.18\00:27:01.52
or workout, or whatever.
00:27:01.55\00:27:03.15
So just kind of
like change that drive
00:27:03.18\00:27:04.65
and find some
positive in doing it.
00:27:04.69\00:27:07.66
I really appreciate the insight,
00:27:07.69\00:27:09.02
you know, that's good for
our viewers to see that as well.
00:27:09.06\00:27:12.03
In all of this,
00:27:12.06\00:27:13.50
the conclusion
is you have to fight
00:27:13.53\00:27:15.43
to make those pure choices.
00:27:15.46\00:27:17.23
And when you are doing
what God wants you to do,
00:27:17.27\00:27:20.44
you're gonna have a mindset.
00:27:20.47\00:27:21.80
When you come into marriage,
it's gonna be more pure
00:27:21.84\00:27:23.71
and it's gonna be better
00:27:23.74\00:27:25.07
for, you know, your
wife and everything.
00:27:25.11\00:27:27.74
All right, let's
conclude with the verse
00:27:27.78\00:27:29.11
in 1 Corinthians 7:3.
00:27:29.14\00:27:32.51
The Bible says, "The
husband should fulfill
00:27:32.55\00:27:34.05
his marital duty to his wife,
00:27:34.08\00:27:35.42
and likewise the
wife to her husband.
00:27:35.45\00:27:37.69
The wife's body does
not belong to her alone
00:27:37.72\00:27:39.52
but also to her husband,
00:27:39.55\00:27:40.99
in the same way
the husband's body
00:27:41.02\00:27:43.09
doesn't belong to him
alone but also to his wife."
00:27:43.12\00:27:45.99
In conclusion,
you have to make sure
00:27:46.03\00:27:47.60
that whatever decision you make,
00:27:47.63\00:27:48.96
it has to be
between your spouse and God,
00:27:49.00\00:27:51.50
including God in your decisions.
00:27:51.53\00:27:53.20
So at the end of the day,
00:27:53.23\00:27:54.57
always remember
to make pure choices.
00:27:54.60\00:27:57.57
God bless.
00:27:57.61\00:27:58.94