The following program discusses sensitive issues. 00:00:01.36\00:00:03.40 Parents are cautioned that some material 00:00:03.43\00:00:05.20 may be too candid for younger children. 00:00:05.23\00:00:07.20 Hello, and welcome to Pure Choices. 00:00:40.00\00:00:41.80 I'm your host Pastor Joshua Nelson 00:00:41.84\00:00:43.91 and we have a great 00:00:43.94\00:00:45.27 and exciting topic for you today. 00:00:45.31\00:00:47.14 We're titling this, 50 Shades of Grey. 00:00:47.18\00:00:50.45 And we're talking about what is acceptable 00:00:50.48\00:00:52.58 to do as a Christian in the bedroom, 00:00:52.61\00:00:54.62 of course, once you're married. 00:00:54.65\00:00:55.98 So we're going to get right into this discussion, 00:00:56.02\00:00:57.79 this is definitely a one 00:00:57.82\00:00:59.15 that a lot of us question about, talk about. 00:00:59.19\00:01:01.62 We don't really, 00:01:01.66\00:01:02.99 I think often talk about it in a public place. 00:01:03.02\00:01:05.36 So now we're gonna put on the camera 00:01:05.39\00:01:06.73 and we want to see what happens, 00:01:06.76\00:01:08.10 you know, God's gonna lead this. 00:01:08.13\00:01:09.46 So let's start 00:01:09.50\00:01:10.83 and just have a word of prayer before we go on. 00:01:10.87\00:01:12.63 Heavenly, Father, we need Your presence here right now 00:01:12.67\00:01:15.57 as we discuss the sacredness of marriage 00:01:15.60\00:01:18.27 and what is acceptable to do as married couples. 00:01:18.31\00:01:21.34 We ask, Father, that You would allow us 00:01:21.38\00:01:22.78 to just hear Your presence 00:01:22.81\00:01:24.51 at this time in Jesus' name we pray, amen. 00:01:24.55\00:01:26.98 Amen. 00:01:27.02\00:01:28.35 All right, let's go ahead 00:01:28.38\00:01:29.72 and start introducing our panel. 00:01:29.75\00:01:31.09 We have to my left Paster John Coaxum, 00:01:31.12\00:01:34.09 who is the associate pastor at the Glenville SDA Church 00:01:34.12\00:01:37.23 in Cleveland, Ohio, 00:01:37.26\00:01:38.93 so glad to have him with us. 00:01:38.96\00:01:40.90 And then we have Dr. Jeanne Mogusu 00:01:40.93\00:01:42.66 who is a graduate at Andrews University 00:01:42.70\00:01:45.53 and so we're happy that she is here today, as well. 00:01:45.57\00:01:48.70 We have Pastor K.P. 00:01:48.74\00:01:50.37 Douglas who is a pastor of two churches 00:01:50.41\00:01:52.81 in Southeast Missouri, 00:01:52.84\00:01:54.54 so glad to have you my, friend. 00:01:54.58\00:01:56.08 Also we have Brittany Hill 00:01:56.11\00:01:57.58 who is recent graduate of Andrews University 00:01:57.61\00:02:00.32 and she is with us today with her great knowledge. 00:02:00.35\00:02:02.68 So we're so happy to have this panel here today 00:02:02.72\00:02:04.85 to discuss this topic. 00:02:04.89\00:02:06.22 A little sensitive, would you not agree, 00:02:06.25\00:02:07.59 it's little sensitive topic? 00:02:07.62\00:02:08.96 But I'm... 00:02:08.99\00:02:10.33 Very sensitive. Yeah. 00:02:10.36\00:02:11.69 So we're gonna get into it the best we can. 00:02:11.73\00:02:14.10 But let's start with maybe a little easier question here 00:02:14.13\00:02:17.50 in terms of what's acceptable to do in the bedroom? 00:02:17.53\00:02:19.83 And I know that I'm the only one 00:02:19.87\00:02:21.20 who's married here at the time 00:02:21.24\00:02:22.57 and I know Korey looking to get married, 00:02:22.60\00:02:23.94 Brittany, you're looking to get married as well. 00:02:23.97\00:02:25.31 We're all looking to get marry, I know, that if you're engaged. 00:02:25.34\00:02:27.31 So we're gonna discuss this and this is an important thing, 00:02:27.34\00:02:31.08 so first I wanna ask in terms of the media, 00:02:31.11\00:02:34.55 in terms of what is portrayed, and even the porn 00:02:34.58\00:02:38.65 that, you know, a lot of us had been exposed to, 00:02:38.69\00:02:41.79 what part has that played in shaping our sexual appetite? 00:02:41.82\00:02:47.90 Well, I mean I think it's played a huge part, 00:02:47.93\00:02:49.80 you know. 00:02:49.83\00:02:51.17 I mean, if you think about it, 00:02:51.20\00:02:52.53 if you said to a little kid what is sex? 00:02:52.57\00:02:54.20 You know, they have absolutely no idea. 00:02:54.24\00:02:56.67 I think by the time we get to a certain age, 00:02:56.71\00:02:58.51 we've seen so many things on television commercial, 00:02:58.54\00:03:01.08 even having, you know, watch pornography 00:03:01.11\00:03:03.24 there's something, there's at least certain things 00:03:03.28\00:03:04.95 you expect 00:03:04.98\00:03:06.31 because it has kind of educated you somewhat 00:03:06.35\00:03:08.88 on what to expect. 00:03:08.92\00:03:10.29 You know, and talking about the effects of it, 00:03:10.32\00:03:11.92 I can speak for myself. 00:03:11.95\00:03:13.49 I'm just going to be real, there are some things I've seen 00:03:13.52\00:03:16.19 and I'm just like, "Wow." 00:03:16.22\00:03:17.56 You know, things that you didn't even think 00:03:17.59\00:03:18.93 were humanly possible. Right. 00:03:18.96\00:03:20.60 You know, but the more and more you see that stuff, 00:03:20.63\00:03:23.10 is a more you kind of begin to accept it 00:03:23.13\00:03:24.73 and maybe even expect it, you know, so... 00:03:24.77\00:03:26.97 Yeah, yeah, that's so true. 00:03:27.00\00:03:28.34 I mean, I know a friend of mine who said that, 00:03:28.37\00:03:30.77 you know, sex was not sex unless it was with, 00:03:30.81\00:03:32.61 you know, more than two people, you know. 00:03:32.64\00:03:35.08 He had been so corrupted, 00:03:35.11\00:03:36.44 he actually grew, went into the porn industry and stuff, 00:03:36.48\00:03:38.28 he had been so into it 00:03:38.31\00:03:39.88 that it just soaked, his mind was just gone, 00:03:39.91\00:03:42.35 like he just didn't see it as fun 00:03:42.38\00:03:44.19 if it was just one person, you know. 00:03:44.22\00:03:45.79 And so or as, you know, enjoy whatever the case is. 00:03:45.82\00:03:47.82 So, you know, you can get to that point. 00:03:47.86\00:03:49.56 I can see what you're saying 00:03:49.59\00:03:51.16 with indulging too much into that arena. 00:03:51.19\00:03:55.83 Let's talk more about the media as well. 00:03:55.86\00:03:58.40 What part does that play in our appetite? 00:03:58.43\00:04:01.70 Brittany, you wanna add to that? 00:04:01.74\00:04:03.34 I was going to say that due to the fact 00:04:03.37\00:04:04.74 that we don't really talk about sex in church 00:04:04.77\00:04:08.14 and even among our family, the media plays a huge part 00:04:08.18\00:04:11.25 of what do you think is supposed to happen, 00:04:11.28\00:04:12.95 what does it really look like. 00:04:12.98\00:04:14.55 You don't really know what it looks like 00:04:14.58\00:04:15.92 until you actually watch TV, 00:04:15.95\00:04:18.05 or probably stumble on a website, or on a DVD, 00:04:18.09\00:04:21.66 and then you're like, "Oh, that's what it looks like, 00:04:21.69\00:04:23.69 that's what you're supposed to do. 00:04:23.73\00:04:25.09 Oh, you can that too. Oh, that too. Okay." 00:04:25.13\00:04:27.90 So it plays a huge part in telling you, 00:04:27.93\00:04:30.53 okay, when you actually comes to your time to have sex, 00:04:30.57\00:04:34.24 this is the possibilities that you can go on and explore. 00:04:34.27\00:04:38.57 Yeah, that's true. That's a good point. 00:04:38.61\00:04:40.58 Yeah, I mean, I didn't know what certain things were 00:04:40.61\00:04:42.58 until I had to look it up and find out. 00:04:42.61\00:04:44.45 You know, I mean, you know, 00:04:44.48\00:04:45.88 you hear people talking about stuff 00:04:45.91\00:04:47.25 and being and as a Christian growing up, 00:04:47.28\00:04:49.55 you kinda learn things little late, you know, 00:04:49.58\00:04:50.99 so you're trying to catch up, 00:04:51.02\00:04:52.35 you know, and that's a good point. 00:04:52.39\00:04:53.72 We're not discussing these things 00:04:53.76\00:04:55.09 that had people even know. 00:04:55.12\00:04:56.46 I think too, you know, that sex sells, man, 00:04:56.49\00:04:58.89 it's what people want, you know, 00:04:58.93\00:05:00.26 it gives people certain feeling. 00:05:00.30\00:05:02.06 And so, if you pay attention even to just advertisements, 00:05:02.10\00:05:05.23 you know, those 30 to 60 seconds 00:05:05.27\00:05:07.44 on television, they will be loaded with sex. 00:05:07.47\00:05:10.01 You know, not even just a show, I mean, watching a commercial 00:05:10.04\00:05:12.61 and I'm like, "What are they advertising?" 00:05:12.64\00:05:14.28 And it will come down, they're advertising like 00:05:14.31\00:05:15.68 a bar soap or a bag of chips. 00:05:15.71\00:05:18.18 And I'm like, how could you possibly, 00:05:18.21\00:05:20.15 you know, like what did that have to do with bag of chips? 00:05:20.18\00:05:21.78 Right, right. 00:05:21.82\00:05:23.15 You know, but honestly at the end of the commercial 00:05:23.18\00:05:24.52 you're really like I really need to go out 00:05:24.55\00:05:25.89 and get this bag of chips... Get that bag of chips, yeah. 00:05:25.92\00:05:27.59 Another thing you can do. 00:05:27.62\00:05:28.96 You know, and so it plays a huge part. 00:05:28.99\00:05:31.16 It plays a really huge part, 00:05:31.19\00:05:32.53 it really shapes the way that we think 00:05:32.56\00:05:34.00 and our expectations 00:05:34.03\00:05:35.53 once we do enter into that marriage chamber. 00:05:35.56\00:05:38.20 Right, right. Yeah. 00:05:38.23\00:05:39.80 And I think one thing that we need to establish is that 00:05:39.83\00:05:43.30 even though we may not be married right now, 00:05:43.34\00:05:46.24 for those of us who are not old, 00:05:46.27\00:05:47.71 looking to get married, 00:05:47.74\00:05:49.44 this topic really needs to be broached. 00:05:49.48\00:05:54.22 Like it's something that needs to be brought up 00:05:54.25\00:05:55.88 because you may think of this is, 00:05:55.92\00:06:01.39 you know, people come from different places. 00:06:01.42\00:06:04.19 And so you may find yourself, 00:06:04.23\00:06:07.66 you know, already married to someone 00:06:07.70\00:06:09.13 who asks you to go places 00:06:09.16\00:06:12.00 that you don't feel comfortable with. 00:06:12.03\00:06:14.54 And you don't want to or you may think are unnatural 00:06:14.57\00:06:18.74 or against your faith. 00:06:18.77\00:06:20.91 And so you may, 00:06:20.94\00:06:22.28 this is a conversation that needs to be had, 00:06:22.31\00:06:24.78 you know, some would argue before you get married. 00:06:24.81\00:06:26.88 Yeah, yeah. 00:06:26.92\00:06:28.25 And it's tough as it may be 00:06:28.28\00:06:29.62 for you to have that discussion, 00:06:29.65\00:06:31.25 you need to just have that discussion. 00:06:31.29\00:06:32.62 Yeah, let's go through. 00:06:32.65\00:06:33.99 Yeah, I guess I wanna say, 00:06:34.02\00:06:35.36 you know, if I don't have God in my life, 00:06:35.39\00:06:36.73 if didn't know the Bible, 00:06:36.76\00:06:38.09 If I wasn't aware of spiritual things, 00:06:38.13\00:06:40.00 if I just took media at face value 00:06:40.03\00:06:42.10 and everything that I know, 00:06:42.13\00:06:43.47 I probably wouldn't get married. 00:06:43.50\00:06:45.43 I mean, why would I? 00:06:45.47\00:06:46.80 For everything that media teaches us and tells us 00:06:46.84\00:06:48.50 I mean, I'm just supposed to go out there, have fun, 00:06:48.54\00:06:50.67 you know, try it before I buy, enjoy life, 00:06:50.71\00:06:53.04 what is the point of getting married 00:06:53.07\00:06:54.41 when I can have so many different women, 00:06:54.44\00:06:56.75 you know, coming from a man's perspective? 00:06:56.78\00:06:58.38 You know, I also say, you know, from a man's perspective 00:06:58.41\00:07:00.98 the media kind of teaches us, man, that woman are objects. 00:07:01.02\00:07:03.62 You know, they're not really even, 00:07:03.65\00:07:05.19 they're not even people so to speak. 00:07:05.22\00:07:07.72 And we watch all these music videos, 00:07:07.76\00:07:09.39 it's just like they're objects of my affection. 00:07:09.42\00:07:11.36 Yeah, yeah. You know, to be had. 00:07:11.39\00:07:13.36 Yeah, That's so true. 00:07:13.40\00:07:14.73 It's a powerful point and disturbing point as well. 00:07:14.76\00:07:16.36 I mean, you know, 00:07:16.40\00:07:17.73 what really would be the reason to get married? 00:07:17.77\00:07:19.87 I mean, there's just so much corruption 00:07:19.90\00:07:24.11 that happens in the media 00:07:24.14\00:07:25.47 in proprioception to really how sex should happen. 00:07:25.51\00:07:29.91 You know, and let alone, they are not encouraging us 00:07:29.94\00:07:32.41 to have sex in marriage, you know. 00:07:32.45\00:07:34.65 And so, there are so many things. 00:07:34.68\00:07:36.85 Let's gonna get off this the media thing, 00:07:36.89\00:07:38.99 let's kind of go into 00:07:39.02\00:07:40.36 the big question of the day, okay. 00:07:40.39\00:07:42.86 What is acceptable to do? 00:07:42.89\00:07:44.99 Or what if says I like this, what is not acceptable to do 00:07:45.03\00:07:48.70 in the bedroom as a married couple? 00:07:48.73\00:07:51.73 Good question. 00:07:51.77\00:07:53.10 Okay, so what... I think you should... 00:07:53.13\00:07:54.47 Oh, Jeanne, go ahead. No, no. 00:07:54.50\00:07:55.84 I think we should preface that with what's ever we do, 00:07:55.87\00:07:58.47 we do it to the glory of God. 00:07:58.51\00:08:00.38 And if we know we're doing it to the glory of God 00:08:00.41\00:08:02.34 that always means 00:08:02.38\00:08:03.71 that, you're not, I mean, in my, I would say, 00:08:03.75\00:08:09.58 I would think that you want to always put 00:08:09.62\00:08:13.36 the other person's before yourself. 00:08:13.39\00:08:16.49 You always want to have an unselfish, 00:08:16.52\00:08:20.20 how can I say, an unselfish view, 00:08:20.23\00:08:25.10 because it is something very intimate to you, 00:08:25.13\00:08:27.77 you want to be considerate of the other person, 00:08:27.80\00:08:30.21 you want to take the other person's view points, 00:08:30.24\00:08:32.54 and it is an act of love 00:08:32.57\00:08:36.44 as much as it is worship I guess. 00:08:36.48\00:08:38.31 So what do you do then if that person like 00:08:38.35\00:08:40.18 I want my wife to do something for me 00:08:40.22\00:08:42.95 but she doesn't feel comfortable doing that, 00:08:42.98\00:08:44.79 you know, and she's trying to please me 00:08:44.82\00:08:46.25 but yet in order for her to please me 00:08:46.29\00:08:48.06 it's making her feel uncomfortable. 00:08:48.09\00:08:50.09 Then I would ask you, what your motives are? 00:08:50.13\00:08:52.26 Like what are your intentions? 00:08:52.29\00:08:54.86 How do you feel about her? 00:08:54.90\00:08:56.23 Because I would say that if you love her 00:08:56.26\00:08:59.50 and you know that what you're asking her to do 00:08:59.53\00:09:01.40 is uncomfortable for her, 00:09:01.44\00:09:02.94 then why would you go ahead and ask her? 00:09:02.97\00:09:05.57 I mean, it's like going out to dinner with someone 00:09:05.61\00:09:09.24 who doesn't want to eat with you in the first place. 00:09:09.28\00:09:11.41 You know, it just changes the whole experience, 00:09:11.45\00:09:14.08 it's numbs. 00:09:14.12\00:09:15.45 I wouldn't even wanna go eat with them. 00:09:15.48\00:09:18.75 Right, right, right. 00:09:18.79\00:09:20.32 All right, Korey, you want to say something? 00:09:20.36\00:09:21.96 Listen, I mean, we can go biblical. 00:09:26.63\00:09:28.90 You know, the text, you know, we would talk in earlier 00:09:28.93\00:09:32.17 Hebrews, you know, tells us that, 00:09:32.20\00:09:33.87 you know, you should keep the marriage bed pure. 00:09:33.90\00:09:36.07 But then, you know, I'm hearing what Jeanne is saying, 00:09:36.10\00:09:38.11 I'm being real, I'm thinking to myself 00:09:38.14\00:09:39.47 what does that mean 00:09:39.51\00:09:40.84 because it still kind of left an interpretation. 00:09:40.88\00:09:42.38 I immediately begin to think of cultures 00:09:42.41\00:09:45.18 and I won't name them where, 00:09:45.21\00:09:47.12 you know, they all go so far 00:09:47.15\00:09:49.05 as to have a blanket with a hole cut in it 00:09:49.08\00:09:51.72 simply to have sex, 00:09:51.75\00:09:53.09 where they will not even look at each other 00:09:53.12\00:09:55.22 because they're so afraid to defile the bed 00:09:55.26\00:09:58.59 or to offend God in their action. 00:09:58.63\00:10:01.53 And I think what we forget is that sex is a gift from God, 00:10:01.56\00:10:04.33 it's something that's holy. 00:10:04.37\00:10:05.70 It's something that is supposed to be enjoyed by both people. 00:10:05.73\00:10:08.70 I think, Jeanne touches on a very important part. 00:10:08.74\00:10:11.84 Everything in life is always gonna board 00:10:11.87\00:10:13.21 on the why we're doing this? 00:10:13.24\00:10:14.64 You know, and I think that we're trained, 00:10:14.68\00:10:16.01 we don't want to go back to media 00:10:16.04\00:10:17.38 but we're trained that sex is about us. 00:10:17.41\00:10:19.61 It's about what I get from my partner. 00:10:19.65\00:10:21.42 It's about my partner pleasing me. 00:10:21.45\00:10:23.35 Jesus says in Matthew, no, He says in Luke, excuse me. 00:10:23.39\00:10:26.25 Luke 6, Jesus says, "God gives to everyone." 00:10:26.29\00:10:29.69 He goes so far as He lends to those 00:10:29.72\00:10:32.03 who He does not even expect to get back from. 00:10:32.06\00:10:34.46 He gives, He loves without expecting love in return. 00:10:34.50\00:10:37.33 And then Jesus says, "Be perfect as God is perfect." 00:10:37.37\00:10:39.83 Experience that level of relationship 00:10:39.87\00:10:42.00 where your thought is to please your partner 00:10:42.04\00:10:45.04 and not to please yourself. Right. 00:10:45.07\00:10:46.81 And I think that would take 00:10:46.84\00:10:48.18 even a lot of the perversion out of it 00:10:48.21\00:10:49.54 because now it's not you thinking well, 00:10:49.58\00:10:51.05 how do I spice things up so that I enjoy it, 00:10:51.08\00:10:53.82 you know, but what can I do for my partner, 00:10:53.85\00:10:56.35 you know, and I think that's a good place to start. 00:10:56.38\00:10:58.15 Okay, and I like that you added, 00:10:58.19\00:10:59.79 you talked about that text that we often use 00:10:59.82\00:11:01.92 or people use to kind of say, 00:11:01.96\00:11:03.29 "I can do whatever I want in the bedroom." 00:11:03.32\00:11:04.69 So, Brittany, I want you to explain 00:11:04.73\00:11:06.19 that text little bit more for us? 00:11:06.23\00:11:07.96 The text is Hebrews 13:4, 00:11:08.00\00:11:11.37 we always quote the marriage bed is undefiled 00:11:11.40\00:11:13.84 and we forget that it has a context. 00:11:13.87\00:11:16.07 And the text starts saying that, 00:11:16.10\00:11:18.07 "The marriage should be honored 00:11:18.11\00:11:20.78 and the marriage bed is undefiled." 00:11:20.81\00:11:23.21 Some other version say, "Marriage should be honored 00:11:23.24\00:11:26.38 and marriage be kept pure 00:11:26.41\00:11:28.68 or marriage bed undefiled." 00:11:28.72\00:11:31.02 So basically, it's stating that 00:11:31.05\00:11:33.59 when you're coming to your spouse. 00:11:33.62\00:11:35.99 You've been married 00:11:36.02\00:11:37.36 when you guys approach a sexual encounter, 00:11:37.39\00:11:39.79 it should be pure, 00:11:39.83\00:11:41.30 it shouldn't be something crazy 00:11:41.33\00:11:43.00 as in you're bringing in two partners, 00:11:43.03\00:11:44.50 three partners, four partners. 00:11:44.53\00:11:45.87 No. 00:11:45.90\00:11:47.24 It shouldn't also be dangerous neither, 00:11:47.27\00:11:48.80 it should be something that can bring glory and honor to God 00:11:48.84\00:11:51.47 because the marriage should be honored. 00:11:51.51\00:11:53.04 Right, right. 00:11:53.07\00:11:54.41 And that's a beautiful point especially thinking about 00:11:54.44\00:11:56.95 the origins of sex and marriage. 00:11:56.98\00:11:58.58 Like God gave us this gift and so, 00:11:58.61\00:12:00.65 you know, you are doing this not aside from Him, 00:12:00.68\00:12:03.69 saying, this is what I just want to do, 00:12:03.72\00:12:05.32 but this is now an experience you're having, 00:12:05.35\00:12:06.69 you know, with your wife and God 00:12:06.72\00:12:08.82 or, you know, your husband and God. 00:12:08.86\00:12:10.53 So, you know, and saying that then, 00:12:10.56\00:12:15.50 let's get a little deeper then, okay. 00:12:15.53\00:12:17.17 Let's go little deeper and really kind of answer 00:12:17.20\00:12:20.14 some of the questions, is oral sex okay? 00:12:20.17\00:12:24.24 Or should you stay in certain position? 00:12:24.27\00:12:26.07 Is there, you know, should you not bring toys 00:12:26.11\00:12:28.18 into the bedroom? 00:12:28.21\00:12:29.54 Is that gonna defile 00:12:29.58\00:12:30.95 or make the marriage bed impure? 00:12:30.98\00:12:33.01 You know, where do you draw the line 00:12:33.05\00:12:35.68 in terms of extra things? 00:12:35.72\00:12:40.09 I'm gonna be honest. 00:12:40.12\00:12:41.92 I think that we have been given so many points of view 00:12:41.96\00:12:44.29 that it is very hard for me to say where we draw the line. 00:12:44.33\00:12:47.16 I'm just gonna be real. 00:12:47.20\00:12:48.53 You know, is oral sex bad? 00:12:48.56\00:12:49.90 I don't know. 00:12:49.93\00:12:51.27 I'm just gonna say I don't know. 00:12:51.30\00:12:52.63 And I think sometimes that's a good place to start, 00:12:52.67\00:12:54.10 I don't know. 00:12:54.14\00:12:55.47 Now is our toys okay? 00:12:55.50\00:12:56.84 I would have to say, no. 00:12:56.87\00:12:58.21 I feel like God gave us what we need. 00:12:58.24\00:13:00.01 You know in the beginning. 00:13:00.04\00:13:01.38 And He didn't say to Adam and Eve, 00:13:01.41\00:13:02.74 "Be fruitful and multiply, 00:13:02.78\00:13:04.11 here are some toys to help you do that." 00:13:04.15\00:13:05.48 He jus said, "Be fruitful and multiply." 00:13:05.51\00:13:08.28 You know, and so I wouldn't say 00:13:08.32\00:13:11.02 we shouldn't bring things into the bedroom 00:13:11.05\00:13:12.39 but, I mean, we have a lot of conflicting views 00:13:12.42\00:13:14.99 so even something is simple as oral sex, is that bad? 00:13:15.02\00:13:19.93 And that goes back to, you know, us just being real. 00:13:19.96\00:13:23.00 I mean, I know us three as men, you know, for us, 00:13:23.03\00:13:25.73 you know, our exposure to porn, 00:13:25.77\00:13:27.70 you know, and our exposing to sexual versions 00:13:27.74\00:13:30.27 and, you know, it's kind of skewed 00:13:30.31\00:13:32.94 our thinking and our mind. 00:13:32.97\00:13:34.31 Really, how do you really answer that question, 00:13:34.34\00:13:35.74 it's a good point, yeah. 00:13:35.78\00:13:37.35 I think as men, you know, especially, man, 00:13:37.38\00:13:39.21 we expect the women that we ultimately end up with 00:13:39.25\00:13:42.88 or even the women that we're dating 00:13:42.92\00:13:44.25 or in relationship with to do the same things 00:13:44.29\00:13:45.82 that are happening on the screen. 00:13:45.85\00:13:47.59 Pornography and things of that nature. 00:13:47.62\00:13:49.06 And so we don't even, 00:13:49.09\00:13:50.43 you know, think about what God thinks about it or what... 00:13:50.46\00:13:53.03 What she may think about it? What she may think about it? 00:13:53.06\00:13:54.66 Even why we're doing? 00:13:54.70\00:13:56.03 And it's just like, you know, I've seen this, 00:13:56.06\00:13:57.60 it's in my mind, 00:13:57.63\00:13:58.97 and I want to re-enact what is happening there. 00:13:59.00\00:14:00.87 Especially because you kind of want to experience it too. 00:14:00.90\00:14:03.51 You know, I'm just gonna be real. 00:14:03.54\00:14:04.87 You're watching a pornography and you say, 00:14:04.91\00:14:06.24 I mean, everybody, they're acting 00:14:06.27\00:14:07.78 but they make it look so enjoyable 00:14:07.81\00:14:09.38 and you're like, is that really enjoyable? 00:14:09.41\00:14:11.75 You know, and some part of you, 00:14:11.78\00:14:13.62 I'm not married so I can't really say, 00:14:13.65\00:14:15.48 you know, I haven't had that experience 00:14:15.52\00:14:16.85 but I can imagine 00:14:16.89\00:14:18.22 when you get to that point you'd be thinking, 00:14:18.25\00:14:19.59 "Well, I wan to see if that's enjoyable too." 00:14:19.62\00:14:21.46 You know, so... Yeah, yeah. 00:14:21.49\00:14:23.06 It really forces you to really put your ideas of sex 00:14:23.09\00:14:28.53 through a filter that God has given you. 00:14:28.56\00:14:30.47 You know, you have to now, 00:14:30.50\00:14:32.33 'cause before you know, your filter has just been 00:14:32.37\00:14:33.84 whatever I think is right, whatever, you know, 00:14:33.87\00:14:35.70 but, you know, 00:14:35.74\00:14:37.07 when you're really deciding to make pure choice 00:14:37.11\00:14:38.44 and you're really deciding to be with God, 00:14:38.47\00:14:39.97 you have to then really ask God, 00:14:40.01\00:14:42.21 and your partner, and your wife or your husband, 00:14:42.24\00:14:45.48 you know, what is that we should be doing? 00:14:45.51\00:14:48.78 And I think also, 00:14:48.82\00:14:50.15 I mean, people always make the assumption 00:14:50.19\00:14:51.52 that it's only pornography that shapes your views of sex 00:14:51.55\00:14:56.79 but there are other avenues that people like what, 00:14:56.83\00:15:01.50 and the problem or the worst part about it is 00:15:01.53\00:15:05.23 we have now graded, 00:15:05.27\00:15:07.37 you know, like we have hardcore or soft porn... 00:15:07.40\00:15:11.67 Soft, yeah, yeah, yeah. 00:15:11.71\00:15:13.04 You know, we graded 00:15:13.07\00:15:14.41 so that we feel a little bit better 00:15:14.44\00:15:15.78 about ourselves when we do it. 00:15:15.81\00:15:17.71 Like women have novels, you know, that sometimes go, 00:15:17.75\00:15:23.02 yeah, which is just like pornography 00:15:23.05\00:15:24.95 and I would even suggest that it's worse 00:15:24.99\00:15:26.96 because your brain is like your biggest sexual organ. 00:15:26.99\00:15:32.36 The kind of things 00:15:32.39\00:15:33.73 that your brain is designed to imagine 00:15:33.76\00:15:35.96 are unimaginable, 00:15:36.00\00:15:37.90 which is why you're imagining them. 00:15:37.93\00:15:39.87 So you know... Yeah, yeah. 00:15:39.90\00:15:43.41 So, I mean, there are various avenues 00:15:43.44\00:15:46.88 so it's not just the porn, you know, that is bad, 00:15:46.91\00:15:50.68 it's also there's other I guess windows into, 00:15:50.71\00:15:57.05 I guess a room that should remain... 00:15:57.09\00:15:59.39 Yeah, it should be remained closed. 00:15:59.42\00:16:00.76 Yeah. Yeah, closed. 00:16:00.79\00:16:02.12 Something may we should never even knew or experience, 00:16:02.16\00:16:04.03 you know, unforbidden fruit.. 00:16:04.06\00:16:05.73 And I would like to add 00:16:05.76\00:16:07.63 for you, guys, may be certain types of porn 00:16:07.66\00:16:09.60 would suggest that a woman should be treated as an object 00:16:09.63\00:16:14.47 but for our certain types of books 00:16:14.50\00:16:16.00 that we end up reading or even they have women porn, 00:16:16.04\00:16:18.91 which is porn for women to watch. 00:16:18.94\00:16:20.98 They portray men to be, of course, in control 00:16:21.01\00:16:27.78 and also the woman is been pleased 00:16:27.82\00:16:30.69 at all types of different heights, 00:16:30.72\00:16:32.05 like she is the main one 00:16:32.09\00:16:33.42 that's getting the complete pleasure 00:16:33.46\00:16:35.39 or even for the novels 00:16:35.42\00:16:36.76 how probably the gentlemen will come in and how he takes, 00:16:36.79\00:16:40.63 it's basically you guys have one perspective... 00:16:40.66\00:16:43.50 The woman gets another perspective. 00:16:43.53\00:16:45.40 And then when you get married, you're coming into the bedroom, 00:16:45.43\00:16:47.44 you're like, "How does this work out?" 00:16:47.47\00:16:48.80 Yeah, it clashes. Yeah. 00:16:48.84\00:16:50.17 Wow, wow. 00:16:50.21\00:16:51.54 And the devil then played a part in that, 00:16:51.57\00:16:53.81 a huge role in that, you know, in creating that lie 00:16:53.84\00:16:56.48 that would really corrupt, 00:16:56.51\00:16:57.88 you know, that marriage that God created to be so pure. 00:16:57.91\00:17:01.15 You know, now because of these extra things, 00:17:01.18\00:17:02.92 we have no idea of, you know, saying, 00:17:02.95\00:17:04.69 we have no idea really where to go, what to do. 00:17:04.72\00:17:06.32 And that suggests that's why you have to talk about it. 00:17:06.35\00:17:08.66 Because until you know where someone is coming from, 00:17:08.69\00:17:11.59 you really can, you basically you're going into something 00:17:11.63\00:17:16.10 totally, two dysfunctional people coming 00:17:16.13\00:17:20.87 from two dysfunctional viewpoints 00:17:20.90\00:17:23.44 and you're trying to make them into this pure 00:17:23.47\00:17:26.41 and sanctified holy union... Yeah. 00:17:26.44\00:17:31.38 Which is, you know, you're trying to get 00:17:31.41\00:17:32.95 something good out of ugliness. 00:17:32.98\00:17:35.45 And that's why I think it's really, 00:17:35.48\00:17:37.25 and that's why we have pure choices... 00:17:37.29\00:17:39.35 You know, the idea of surrendering your will 00:17:39.39\00:17:42.49 and your life to God, 00:17:42.52\00:17:44.06 and having God principle to shape your thinking 00:17:44.09\00:17:48.26 in what it is that should be in the marriage bed, 00:17:48.30\00:17:51.87 or what is right, or how far you can go? 00:17:51.90\00:17:54.60 'Cause if you're left to ourselves, 00:17:54.64\00:17:57.31 could Lord, I mean, look at us today... 00:17:57.34\00:18:00.48 Yeah, yeah. 00:18:00.51\00:18:01.84 You know, we're talking about things that we shouldn't. 00:18:01.88\00:18:04.98 We shouldn't even be thinking about. 00:18:05.01\00:18:06.95 Yeah, and I mean, and really answering the question 00:18:06.98\00:18:10.35 because, I mean, I think maybe someone's 00:18:10.39\00:18:12.45 maybe thinking, okay, is it wrong or is it not. 00:18:12.49\00:18:14.52 We haven't really said that, 00:18:14.56\00:18:15.89 I mean, we really maybe don't know 00:18:15.92\00:18:17.73 but I always try to look in the Bible 00:18:17.76\00:18:19.73 to see if I can find any examples, 00:18:19.76\00:18:21.23 you know, of oral sex maybe let's say, okay. 00:18:21.26\00:18:25.23 And I mean, we read Song of Solomon. 00:18:25.27\00:18:26.70 Now we all know that's the book, 00:18:26.74\00:18:28.87 you know, it has a lot of things in there. 00:18:28.90\00:18:31.24 You know, but there are some things people will say, 00:18:31.27\00:18:32.87 he does kind of allude 00:18:32.91\00:18:34.31 or that she allude to that when they're in their passion. 00:18:34.34\00:18:39.58 But one thing that I know, 00:18:39.61\00:18:40.95 however you, we can argue it all day, 00:18:40.98\00:18:42.32 but one thing I notice about the Song of Solomon 00:18:42.35\00:18:44.52 is that the words that they used 00:18:44.55\00:18:46.35 and the imagery is so beautiful, 00:18:46.39\00:18:48.12 you know, that it really does if anything heighten the level 00:18:48.16\00:18:51.26 of how beautiful sex should be, 00:18:51.29\00:18:52.76 you know, and how important it is as opposed to, 00:18:52.79\00:18:55.86 you know, maybe with pornography 00:18:55.90\00:18:57.23 or these books and stuff that it's just so hardcore. 00:18:57.27\00:18:59.20 You know, just get what you want out of the whole thing. 00:18:59.23\00:19:03.07 So I think at the end of the day, 00:19:03.10\00:19:04.61 you know, wondering what we should do, 00:19:04.64\00:19:06.84 it does like you were saying before, 00:19:06.88\00:19:08.34 it does need to go back to, 00:19:08.38\00:19:10.05 you know, something beautiful does this, 00:19:10.08\00:19:12.58 how does, what is my wife and my husband feel comfortable 00:19:12.61\00:19:16.58 with doing in this marriage relationship? 00:19:16.62\00:19:19.95 But let's go to the next question I wanna ask 00:19:19.99\00:19:21.79 and that's about health 00:19:21.82\00:19:23.26 because a lot of you will argue that oral sex 00:19:23.29\00:19:25.76 or other things that you may bring to the bedroom 00:19:25.79\00:19:27.53 are not good because it's bad for you. 00:19:27.56\00:19:30.03 Okay. 00:19:30.07\00:19:31.40 What you all feel about that? Yeah, I agree. 00:19:31.43\00:19:33.97 I think that anything that is harmful 00:19:34.00\00:19:37.21 or dangerous to your spouse, 00:19:37.24\00:19:39.27 especially, you know, me as a man, 00:19:39.31\00:19:40.94 if I'm married to a woman who was my wife, 00:19:40.98\00:19:43.61 I don't want to damage her in any way. 00:19:43.65\00:19:46.45 So anything that could cause harm to her, 00:19:46.48\00:19:48.75 especially, you know, irrevocable harm 00:19:48.78\00:19:50.22 that can't be reversed, 00:19:50.25\00:19:52.45 I'm not touching that with the ten-foot pole 00:19:52.49\00:19:54.02 Yeah, yeah. Be careful to say. 00:19:54.06\00:19:55.39 Yeah. 00:19:55.42\00:19:57.36 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 00:19:57.39\00:19:59.56 My fiance and we actually had a discussion on sex 00:19:59.59\00:20:03.37 early in the game 00:20:03.40\00:20:04.73 'cause we didn't want any misconceptions. 00:20:04.77\00:20:06.84 And one huge thing 00:20:06.87\00:20:08.20 that we're both against is anal sex. 00:20:08.24\00:20:10.44 And there's at least four reasons 00:20:10.47\00:20:11.87 that I personally researched 00:20:11.91\00:20:13.41 of why it just should not be done, 00:20:13.44\00:20:16.75 if you don't mind me sharing. Go ahead. 00:20:16.78\00:20:18.61 For the first anal sex, 00:20:18.65\00:20:21.22 anal, the anus doesn't have the same lubrication 00:20:21.25\00:20:23.35 as the vagina, so that's just bad. 00:20:23.39\00:20:27.66 I don't think I need to go any further with that one. 00:20:27.69\00:20:29.46 Yeah. 00:20:29.49\00:20:30.83 Number two, like the tissue inside is not the same, 00:20:30.86\00:20:34.70 they don't have the same protection 00:20:34.73\00:20:36.06 as the skin outside anus. 00:20:36.10\00:20:37.43 So therefore, you're prone to have more infections, 00:20:37.47\00:20:40.50 wherever that's happening with. 00:20:40.54\00:20:42.24 Yeah. 00:20:42.27\00:20:43.61 And the third reason is 00:20:43.64\00:20:44.97 the anus is supposed to hold feces. 00:20:45.01\00:20:47.01 So when you're engaging in anal sex, 00:20:47.04\00:20:48.74 you're kind of weakening its functioning. 00:20:48.78\00:20:51.75 And then for the fourth reason 00:20:51.78\00:20:53.18 is that anus is full of bacteria. 00:20:53.21\00:20:55.65 So that's harmful to the partner 00:20:55.68\00:20:57.39 that's actually doing it 00:20:57.42\00:20:59.65 because who knows what type of diseases 00:20:59.69\00:21:01.86 he's actually getting. 00:21:01.89\00:21:03.22 Yeah, yeah. That's so true. 00:21:03.26\00:21:04.59 I appreciate that, you know, that's something we have to, 00:21:04.63\00:21:06.16 you know, going back to your harmful to my spouse. 00:21:06.19\00:21:09.80 You know, it's just 'cause you want to do everything 00:21:09.83\00:21:11.87 doesn't mean it's always the best for you to do. 00:21:11.90\00:21:14.60 You know, so we definitely have to consider that. 00:21:14.64\00:21:17.07 So now let's, you know, turn the page here 00:21:17.11\00:21:18.77 and let's start thinking about positive things 00:21:18.81\00:21:22.44 that we can now do them. 00:21:22.48\00:21:24.18 I mean, someone say, "What can I do there, 00:21:24.21\00:21:25.81 you know, what can I do if I'm married?" 00:21:25.85\00:21:27.25 So what are some things you can do? 00:21:27.28\00:21:28.62 I mean, is it just that 00:21:28.65\00:21:29.98 you should only do certain position 00:21:30.02\00:21:32.79 or other things we can do to kind of spice up 00:21:32.82\00:21:34.82 or add some romance to the marriage bedroom. 00:21:34.86\00:21:38.03 Oh, yeah, I think it's clear to me 00:21:38.06\00:21:39.39 that we got to have more prayer, 00:21:39.43\00:21:41.00 maybe have little more devotional thought before. 00:21:41.03\00:21:42.63 You know what I mean, but really and truly, 00:21:42.66\00:21:47.30 you know, I think spicing up romance in the bedroom 00:21:47.34\00:21:50.61 and sex, I actually think that sex begins 00:21:50.64\00:21:53.14 before physical contact. Okay. 00:21:53.17\00:21:55.04 I think there is more to sex than just physicality. 00:21:55.08\00:21:58.11 I think there is an emotional, social, mental, 00:21:58.15\00:22:01.18 psyche stimulation that's going on well before. 00:22:01.22\00:22:04.12 Something that could spice it up maybe is, 00:22:04.15\00:22:05.72 you know, I'm being romantic to my wife, 00:22:05.75\00:22:07.12 I'm telling her how much I love her. 00:22:07.16\00:22:08.52 How much I care about her. Right. 00:22:08.56\00:22:10.03 You know, I think about in Genesis 00:22:10.06\00:22:12.36 when Adam first saw Eve, he said, 00:22:12.39\00:22:14.36 "Now this is bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh." 00:22:14.40\00:22:17.07 Yes. He was happy. 00:22:17.10\00:22:19.17 He was clearly happy to see her and attracted to her. 00:22:19.20\00:22:22.30 And stimulated by her, of course. 00:22:22.34\00:22:23.87 But, and then the Bible says that he knew her. 00:22:23.91\00:22:26.41 So it began well before 00:22:26.44\00:22:28.14 and I think that married couples 00:22:28.18\00:22:29.51 can begin the act of romance 00:22:29.54\00:22:31.38 well before they even get to the bedroom 00:22:31.41\00:22:32.88 and that could help spice it up. 00:22:32.91\00:22:34.25 Yeah, yeah. Very good. I like that. 00:22:34.28\00:22:36.25 All right, our pastor here. 00:22:36.28\00:22:39.62 Well, honestly, John kind of, 00:22:39.65\00:22:41.22 we laughed about it for a second 00:22:41.26\00:22:42.59 but honestly think that a good place to start 00:22:42.62\00:22:44.09 would actually really be to pray. 00:22:44.13\00:22:45.79 I don't know if you pray right before, 00:22:45.83\00:22:47.60 you know, that might be a little weird. 00:22:47.63\00:22:50.07 I don't know 00:22:50.10\00:22:51.43 but I do think that is something 00:22:51.47\00:22:52.80 that couple should talk about and pray about. 00:22:52.83\00:22:55.37 You know, "God, we want to reflect you 00:22:55.40\00:22:58.34 in our marriage and this is part of it. 00:22:58.37\00:23:00.78 So help us do that the best we can honestly." 00:23:00.81\00:23:03.98 And that's a good place to start. 00:23:04.01\00:23:05.35 And I think something that we should remember is that 00:23:05.38\00:23:07.72 sex is, to me it's an act of worship. 00:23:07.75\00:23:10.79 If you look at other cultures they use sex to worship, man. 00:23:10.82\00:23:14.19 And so we kind of wanna be careful 00:23:14.22\00:23:16.22 how far we go into to spice things up. 00:23:16.26\00:23:18.56 'Cause I know, I've heard people say, 00:23:18.59\00:23:20.83 you know, Christians, "I'm gonna go buy the Kamasutra 00:23:20.86\00:23:23.26 and I'm gonna learn all the positions 00:23:23.30\00:23:24.63 and stuff like that." 00:23:24.67\00:23:26.00 But you got to be careful 00:23:26.03\00:23:27.37 because in those kinds of cultures 00:23:27.40\00:23:28.74 those positions are made for worship. 00:23:28.77\00:23:31.17 And each position is seen as a specific thing 00:23:31.21\00:23:33.51 and so that's why I'm saying you need to start with God. 00:23:33.54\00:23:37.08 And it's crazy because we don't really, 00:23:37.11\00:23:39.65 we pray about everything 00:23:39.68\00:23:41.02 but who is really praying about, 00:23:41.05\00:23:42.38 you know, about their sex life? 00:23:42.42\00:23:43.89 You know, we feel like it's so taboo 00:23:43.92\00:23:45.85 that we can't pray about it, but if God has given it to us, 00:23:45.89\00:23:48.09 then I think that's really where we really should start. 00:23:48.12\00:23:49.92 Yeah, the devil has done a job 00:23:49.96\00:23:51.29 of making it seem like that separate from God. 00:23:51.33\00:23:52.66 You're like you can't, God can't bless your sex. 00:23:52.69\00:23:54.70 Right, right. Yeah. 00:23:54.73\00:23:56.06 Isn't it interesting that whenever we have anything like 00:23:56.10\00:23:58.37 if my car gets broken down, 00:23:58.40\00:24:00.74 it's a Toyota so I'll go to the Toyota manufacture 00:24:00.77\00:24:03.54 but when, you know, and if your fridge 00:24:03.57\00:24:05.97 or refrigerator gets messed up, 00:24:06.01\00:24:08.08 if it's Maytag you go to the Maytag man. 00:24:08.11\00:24:10.25 But when it's kind of, 00:24:10.28\00:24:12.05 you know, when it comes to sex 00:24:12.08\00:24:13.72 we don't want to go to the person who created it. 00:24:13.75\00:24:15.72 I mean, who knows better, who knows better. 00:24:15.75\00:24:19.12 Come on now you better pray... 00:24:19.15\00:24:20.49 Yeah, yeah, yeah, we got this... 00:24:20.52\00:24:21.86 Who knows better about sex than the person who created it, 00:24:21.89\00:24:26.23 you know, and we always have this idea, 00:24:26.26\00:24:27.96 and I think it goes back to how we've been conditioned 00:24:28.00\00:24:30.93 because the society has taken a good thing 00:24:30.97\00:24:33.77 and made it bad, does not mean that 00:24:33.80\00:24:35.84 its inherent good has been lost. 00:24:35.87\00:24:38.51 You know, sex was 00:24:38.54\00:24:40.44 and still is a very beautiful thing. 00:24:40.48\00:24:43.61 I mean, if you want to know how beautiful it is, 00:24:43.65\00:24:45.25 just read the Songs of Solomon. 00:24:45.28\00:24:46.82 Yeah, exactly. I mean, it's in the Bible. 00:24:46.85\00:24:48.88 You know, and clearly those guys 00:24:48.92\00:24:50.25 are having a good time because they're singing. 00:24:50.29\00:24:52.75 They're singing a song about it. 00:24:52.79\00:24:54.12 They're singing. 00:24:54.16\00:24:56.02 And they're having such a good time. 00:24:56.06\00:24:57.63 That's right. They had to put... 00:24:57.66\00:25:00.46 They're having such a good time, 00:25:00.50\00:25:01.83 they had to put a book about it in the Bible... 00:25:01.86\00:25:03.97 So clearly this is something that, 00:25:04.00\00:25:06.23 you know, is held in great standing by God. 00:25:06.27\00:25:08.60 Yeah, yeah. 00:25:08.64\00:25:09.97 But somehow we have been conditioned to think that, 00:25:10.01\00:25:12.27 "Oh it's something dirty." 00:25:12.31\00:25:13.78 And that's because we feel like it's dirty, 00:25:13.81\00:25:16.61 we don't want to share it with God 00:25:16.64\00:25:18.78 and when He's the one who will, you know, make all things new, 00:25:18.81\00:25:22.48 show us things that we never, 00:25:22.52\00:25:24.19 the Kamasutra would not even know about. 00:25:24.22\00:25:26.25 Yeah. Yeah, that's right. 00:25:26.29\00:25:27.62 Yeah, amen, I like that, I like that. 00:25:27.66\00:25:29.62 So we're gonna, I mean, 00:25:29.66\00:25:30.99 this conversation is really good. 00:25:31.03\00:25:32.36 We can keep going on, I do want to go to our screen 00:25:32.39\00:25:34.53 because we have some videos of young people, 00:25:34.56\00:25:37.20 I asked them a question about how can a young person be pure 00:25:37.23\00:25:40.07 and there's some more responses that they gave 00:25:40.10\00:25:42.20 and we're gonna discuss them in just few minutes. 00:25:42.24\00:25:44.01 Let's go to. 00:25:44.04\00:25:45.37 I think that for me you have to fight for relationship like, 00:25:45.41\00:25:49.88 you know, say, even if you don't want pure, 00:25:49.91\00:25:53.11 even if you don't want to be pure, 00:25:53.15\00:25:54.48 you know it's wrong. 00:25:54.52\00:25:55.85 So you can ask Jesus for that 00:25:55.88\00:25:57.22 and then you go through different means. 00:25:57.25\00:25:59.15 I must stamp on some, or use some other people stuff 00:25:59.19\00:26:01.89 because that stuff I use like having a prayer journal. 00:26:01.92\00:26:04.53 You're up in the middle of night 00:26:04.56\00:26:05.89 and you're going through 00:26:05.93\00:26:07.26 whatever kind of thoughts are going through your head, 00:26:07.30\00:26:09.16 write till you can't write them more till you fall asleep. 00:26:09.20\00:26:12.57 And then for me the Lord will like, 00:26:12.60\00:26:14.67 He'll start moving things around, 00:26:14.70\00:26:16.04 He'll start showing different things. 00:26:16.07\00:26:17.47 I mean, if you know that 00:26:17.51\00:26:18.84 you shouldn't be in the room by yourself 00:26:18.87\00:26:20.21 or being in a room by yourself, just little small 00:26:20.24\00:26:22.24 practical things that you can do. 00:26:22.28\00:26:24.41 But fight for, fight for your love of prayer. 00:26:24.45\00:26:26.78 All right, amen. 00:26:26.82\00:26:28.15 So, you know, this young person here, 00:26:28.18\00:26:29.52 young man, you know, from Oakwood 00:26:29.55\00:26:31.12 talking about fighting for that purity 00:26:31.15\00:26:33.39 that's what we have to do. 00:26:33.42\00:26:35.02 Okay, let's get another opinion 00:26:35.06\00:26:36.39 from one of our student viewers. 00:26:36.42\00:26:40.10 I think one thing that helps us is changing your drive, 00:26:40.13\00:26:42.53 so if a very thing that's driving you to sin. 00:26:42.56\00:26:45.70 I'll drive that, have that be the same drive 00:26:45.73\00:26:47.94 to have you do something positive. 00:26:47.97\00:26:49.50 I know for me it was reading books, 00:26:49.54\00:26:52.31 I started reading more 00:26:52.34\00:26:53.68 so that drive that wanting me to sin 00:26:53.71\00:26:55.84 was also that driving me to read more books, 00:26:55.88\00:26:57.78 or do more homework, 00:26:57.81\00:26:59.15 or go outside and go for a run in the mornings, 00:26:59.18\00:27:01.52 or workout, or whatever. 00:27:01.55\00:27:03.15 So just kind of like change that drive 00:27:03.18\00:27:04.65 and find some positive in doing it. 00:27:04.69\00:27:07.66 I really appreciate the insight, 00:27:07.69\00:27:09.02 you know, that's good for our viewers to see that as well. 00:27:09.06\00:27:12.03 In all of this, 00:27:12.06\00:27:13.50 the conclusion is you have to fight 00:27:13.53\00:27:15.43 to make those pure choices. 00:27:15.46\00:27:17.23 And when you are doing what God wants you to do, 00:27:17.27\00:27:20.44 you're gonna have a mindset. 00:27:20.47\00:27:21.80 When you come into marriage, it's gonna be more pure 00:27:21.84\00:27:23.71 and it's gonna be better 00:27:23.74\00:27:25.07 for, you know, your wife and everything. 00:27:25.11\00:27:27.74 All right, let's conclude with the verse 00:27:27.78\00:27:29.11 in 1 Corinthians 7:3. 00:27:29.14\00:27:32.51 The Bible says, "The husband should fulfill 00:27:32.55\00:27:34.05 his marital duty to his wife, 00:27:34.08\00:27:35.42 and likewise the wife to her husband. 00:27:35.45\00:27:37.69 The wife's body does not belong to her alone 00:27:37.72\00:27:39.52 but also to her husband, 00:27:39.55\00:27:40.99 in the same way the husband's body 00:27:41.02\00:27:43.09 doesn't belong to him alone but also to his wife." 00:27:43.12\00:27:45.99 In conclusion, you have to make sure 00:27:46.03\00:27:47.60 that whatever decision you make, 00:27:47.63\00:27:48.96 it has to be between your spouse and God, 00:27:49.00\00:27:51.50 including God in your decisions. 00:27:51.53\00:27:53.20 So at the end of the day, 00:27:53.23\00:27:54.57 always remember to make pure choices. 00:27:54.60\00:27:57.57 God bless. 00:27:57.61\00:27:58.94