The following program
discusses sensitive issues.
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Parents are
cautioned that some material
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may be too candid
for younger children.
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Hello, and welcome
again to another edition
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of Pure Choices.
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I'm your host,
Pastor Joshua Nelson.
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And we are just happy
you decided to join us,
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we have another
good one for you.
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We are talking about
puppy love versus true love.
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And before we get
into introducing our panel
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and discussing this topic,
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let's just pause
for a moment of prayer.
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Dear, Heavenly Father,
we thank You once again
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for this opportunity
to discuss these topics
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and we ask God
that You'll bless us
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and guide this conversation,
in Jesus' name we pray.
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Amen. Amen.
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Okay, to my
left, I introduce here,
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James Brandon
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who is university chaplain in...
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sorry, Tampa Florida, of course.
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All right, and
then over here across me
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we have David Anderson
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who is an Oakwood
university theology student.
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And then next to him,
we have Dajanae Maxwell
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who is also Oakwood
University theology student
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and next to her is also
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an Oakwood
University theology student,
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Kyle Scarlett.
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So we have some scholars
here, some young people here,
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and we're just gonna
talk about this topic of love.
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And we've gotta talk
about this a little bit
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on Pure Choices
talking about love.
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But we want to get
more of a younger feel,
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younger idea of what may be
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this generation
is talking about love
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and what they feel it means,
so let's just get out there.
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David, what is
love? What is love?
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Well, I have a quote
that is my favorite quote
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from Ellen White,
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in the book
Adventist Home chapter 7
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and she says, "True love
is a high and holy principle,
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altogether different in
the character from that love
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which is awakened by impulse,
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and which dies
when severely tested."
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And so this just totally
kills all of the "rumors"
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that love is a
feeling, but it's a principle.
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Wow, wow.
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I would like to add
that love is a choice,
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not just a feeling
like he already said.
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It's not based on,
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"Oh, I feel good
today, so I love you,
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"or "I like what you did today,
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so I love you."
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But it's a
decision to love someone.
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I choose to love
you despite of it,
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even to the
concept of I agape you.
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I unconditionally
love you with the love
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that God has given me
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and the love that he
loves all of us with,
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I love you, I decide
today that I love you.
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Wow, wow.
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It's a conscious
decision as she said.
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It's something that
you make up in your mind
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that it's what you want
to have towards somebody.
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It's not a circumstantial
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way of feeling about somebody
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and it's not
even really a feeling
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like they both
stated it's a principle.
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And God is love, so
whenever you love somebody
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or you say that love, you
know, you love a certain thing,
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you're basically saying
that I put God into this,
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He is involved in it
and because He is in,
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that's how it works.
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Wow, wow. Yeah.
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Yeah, I think that I
agree totally, I mean,
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that quote pretty
much said everything
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straight for anybody,
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but, yeah, you said
that it is a principle
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and that principle is
the principle of love.
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You know, God's
government? Yeah.
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But the principle of love states
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that you are other-centered,
you're not self-centered,
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it's about giving,
and it's about serving.
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The thing about love
though, the word love it's like
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probably one of
the most abused words
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in our vocabulary, in
the English vocabulary.
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Because we say we love
so many things, you know,
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we love our dog
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and, you know,
we love chocolate...
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Chocolate, yeah.
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And, you know, we love
all these different things
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and then we say we
love God, it's like wait,
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how can you love all
those things the same way?
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But yeah, it's
a very abused word
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but the distillation of the word
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is other-centeredness.
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Yeah, yeah.
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And so being other-centered
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and then also we
just throw this in there
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that you really can't
love unless you love God first.
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God is love, right? Yeah.
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So how does God then show
us what true love is, you know?
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I think I'll
take that one. Okay.
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First off giving
His Son on the cross.
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Yes, sir.
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And not only doing that
but holding Himself, you know,
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not allowing Himself
to, "Hey, you know, angels,
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I'm not feeling My
Son hanging out there
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and people jeering at Him,
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so I feel like we
should go out down there
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and just erase everybody,
you know, get my Son."
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But His love for
saving us, for redeeming us,
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was allowing us
unto bear all of our sins
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which He didn't have to do.
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And those sins dying
with Him and raising up
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and allowing us to be
clean so that it generalizes it.
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There was Chaplain Pearson,
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came and spoke at theology forum
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a couple of weeks ago.
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And her sermon
basically broke down John 3:16,
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so "For God so loved..."
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He loved and then
what kind of love is that?
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That's agape.
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"For God so loved the world."
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He loved the world, so
He unconditionally loved
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that section of His creation
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that is full of
sin, full of sin,
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full of disappointment.
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Okay, so God...
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"For God so loved the
world that He gave..."
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So love gives, so God is love
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and God loved the
world so much that He gave.
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"For God so loved the world
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that He gave His
only begotten Son."
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So love doesn't
just give out of excess,
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"Oh, I have a whole bunch,
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I have 500
hundred bottles of water,
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everyone can have one."
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No, God gave this is
my only and it's not just,
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it's not a
scrap, it's not a crumb,
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but it's the best of
My only and God gave that.
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And that's what love is
supposed to demonstrate.
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That's a high standard.
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That really should
make us think twice
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before we use the
word love frivolously,
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because love is serious,
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it comes from
something deep inside you,
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it's a value that
you place on such a word
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and such a, you know, choice.
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Yeah. So going little deeper.
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We've talked about
this love thing a lot
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and we like to throw it
around and lot of people,
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lot of young people like to say,
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"Oh, man, I'm so much
in love with this person,
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I'm deep and I
just fell in love."
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So let's talk what does it mean
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to really be in
love with someone?
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And I know that my
brother here and myself,
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we both, kind of, in
that stage right now,
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so I'm talking to my brother.
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What does it mean to be in love?
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Yeah, to be in love.
Love is a beautiful thing.
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Love is really
beautiful and it's a gift.
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You all laughing.
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Gift that God gave us
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and we can exhibit a little bit,
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a small portion of
that which God loves us,
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so He loves us, He's
unconditionally loving us
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and giving us mercy and grace,
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so that we can give
that to someone else.
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And not for us to
just receive and bottle up
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but for us to give.
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But you meant...
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you said something
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and you kind of
went off little bit,
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but the whole
falling in love piece.
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Okay.
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I think that's a major issue,
you know, especially amongst,
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you know, the younger generation
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and things like that,
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you feel like you're
falling in love with this guy,
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this girl looks so good,
and we have great conversation
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and we fell in love.
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But I guess a problem with
that is, I don't know if...
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I think that
you should, kind of,
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be able to stand
in love, you know
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kind of, trying to fall in love,
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because when you're falling,
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you're in like a
compromised position.
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You know, what I'm
saying, you're falling
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and it kind of
seems like things can...
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your perception,
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your vantage
point is a lot different
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than really
having that like the...
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definition set of love
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that really
settled a relationship,
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that settled feeling
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that is not you're
going here and there
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and your heart is
racing here and that way.
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Yeah, at the beginning,
yeah, but it should be...
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when it's settled,
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when the Holy Spirit
is confirming that thing
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and your heart and your soul
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is really settled in that thing.
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Then you can really know
that where you need to be,
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and of course
moving forward with prayer.
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Yeah.
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You really know that
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you are in love
with that person.
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Yeah.
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And then if I can
share this for me, you know,
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I often wondered, you know,
if I ever had been in love,
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you know, the relationship,
had I ever been in love
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or was I in love
with this person?
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And God was just
showing me you can't know
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if you've been in love
and he says standing in love,
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you're gonna fall
in love or whatever,
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you can't know if you
actually are standing in love
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unless you stand in
love with Me, you know, so,
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I had to really
develop a relationship with God
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where I knew that I
was actually in love
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with Him or in Him who is love,
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it was in Him that I
was in love, you know.
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And so if I'm in
Him, I'm in love,
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and so now when I
find someone else,
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I was able to kind of
see, okay, wow, this...
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I already know what love
is, I know what it feels like
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and I see and
meet this individual,
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that's it, now
I'm in love, you know.
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I might step into
again because this person
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also is in love in
the presence of God
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and I'm now in the presence
so it's all just together,
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we're both in love, you
know, and it measure together.
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So it's just awesome
when you can understand
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what love is just by
understanding who God is.
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Right.
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And to go off with that,
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and I guess to expand
on the falling in love,
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love is a verb
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and so it shouldn't be
that you're standing in love,
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it should be more
you're walking in love.
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Walking, there you go.
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It's a continual
process, a journey.
00:10:03.10\00:10:04.83
And most people like to say
that they are falling with...
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like you said,
00:10:07.50\00:10:08.84
it's in a compromising position,
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you really don't have a choice.
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And because love is a choice,
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falling in love
is a contradiction
00:10:13.44\00:10:15.24
to what actual love is.
00:10:15.28\00:10:17.11
Yeah, so kind of
tripped and just fell.
00:10:17.15\00:10:18.48
Right, yeah.
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It's... you shouldn't be...
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it shouldn't be a
mistake, you know,
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tripping isn't something
that you, you know, plan to do.
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It's not something
that people are happy
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but if you tripped,
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you're pretty
much upset about it,
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so most should be able
to take the idea of love
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as a walking and
moving process first with God
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and then whoever God
brings along their way.
00:10:39.50\00:10:41.94
Yeah.
00:10:41.97\00:10:43.30
Okay, so what does it
mean then to be in love,
00:10:43.34\00:10:47.31
we talked about
that, but what does...
00:10:47.34\00:10:48.68
how do you now know
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if you're in love
with someone, you know?
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I mean, I believe
you hit on it already
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in the sense that
you can't know if...
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you can't know if
you're in love with someone
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if you don't know God.
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It all starts with God,
it's all settled in Christ,
00:11:01.69\00:11:03.66
the example of how God loved.
00:11:03.69\00:11:05.79
So for me to
even recognize, okay,
00:11:05.83\00:11:08.73
I care for you so
much that I can say
00:11:08.76\00:11:11.07
that I decide today to love you,
00:11:11.10\00:11:14.30
the feeling of that,
the understanding of that,
00:11:14.34\00:11:17.87
the choice of that, can't come
00:11:17.91\00:11:19.54
unless you understand God first.
00:11:19.57\00:11:21.31
Okay.
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I think that's
kind of like, kind of,
00:11:22.71\00:11:24.81
what Dajanae said, when you...
00:11:24.85\00:11:27.28
how you know you're in
love is each of you individually
00:11:27.32\00:11:30.59
have to be in love with God.
00:11:30.62\00:11:32.25
So when I see that
person that, you know,
00:11:32.29\00:11:35.02
I'm in love with her...
00:11:35.06\00:11:37.76
the question was
how do you know...
00:11:37.79\00:11:39.53
if I think I'm there,
00:11:39.56\00:11:41.10
I think that the
thing that keeps us
00:11:41.13\00:11:45.10
going forward and thinking,
00:11:45.13\00:11:46.84
okay, we might be in
love is I see God in her.
00:11:46.87\00:11:50.11
Like, I have a
relation with God myself,
00:11:50.14\00:11:52.27
I'm like, wait, our relationship
00:11:52.31\00:11:54.11
which is horizontal,
00:11:54.14\00:11:55.78
it kind of feels
like there's some elements
00:11:55.81\00:11:58.08
that this vertical
relationship is in.
00:11:58.11\00:12:00.55
So when you know that, I mean,
you kind of get that, you know,
00:12:00.58\00:12:03.92
the sign off
one cause it's like,
00:12:03.95\00:12:05.92
wow, this is so familiar,
00:12:05.95\00:12:07.52
because they're so hid in Christ
00:12:07.56\00:12:08.99
and you are so hid in Christ.
00:12:09.02\00:12:10.39
And then when you're interacting
00:12:10.43\00:12:12.26
and it go together,
it's just a beautiful synergy
00:12:12.29\00:12:16.06
that's there
with God in the middle
00:12:16.10\00:12:17.87
but not that God is separated
or isolated from you both
00:12:17.90\00:12:21.94
but God's in you both.
00:12:21.97\00:12:23.37
And God is that driving
force that brings you together
00:12:23.41\00:12:25.47
so I think that's
really when you know.
00:12:25.51\00:12:27.44
Yeah, I will take that
a little further in saying
00:12:27.48\00:12:30.88
three is the
numeric value of love.
00:12:30.91\00:12:34.38
Where there is one,
love cannot occur period.
00:12:34.42\00:12:37.59
Where there is two you now love
or you have selfish tendencies
00:12:37.62\00:12:42.39
because you're looking at
one and you're like, okay,
00:12:42.42\00:12:45.43
how can they benefit me?
00:12:45.46\00:12:47.03
But where there is three,
00:12:47.06\00:12:48.40
you have to
humbly differ attention
00:12:48.43\00:12:50.33
to both parties.
00:12:50.37\00:12:51.90
And now you have to
love those two parties
00:12:51.93\00:12:54.54
in a divided interest.
00:12:54.57\00:12:56.27
So say, if one, two,
three were loving each other,
00:12:56.30\00:13:01.44
or we're in a
relationship, I now have to...
00:13:01.48\00:13:04.48
I'm the third party
and so I have to say,
00:13:04.51\00:13:06.82
how can I bring them
closer to each other?
00:13:06.85\00:13:09.82
But also I'm saying
how can he bring us closer.
00:13:09.85\00:13:14.16
And God presents Himself
in a relationship, Father,
00:13:14.19\00:13:16.93
Son and Holy Spirit,
and if you see the shapes,
00:13:16.96\00:13:21.33
the triangle is
a strongest shape.
00:13:21.36\00:13:23.67
They put a triangle
under the pressure...
00:13:23.70\00:13:26.07
all the shapes under pressure
00:13:26.10\00:13:27.44
and the triangle
was the one to stay
00:13:27.47\00:13:29.90
under the pressure the longest
00:13:29.94\00:13:31.47
because it has those
other angles supporting it.
00:13:31.51\00:13:34.64
Wow, yeah. That's awesome.
00:13:34.68\00:13:37.08
So and I love
that illustration there
00:13:37.11\00:13:40.08
because you need...
00:13:40.12\00:13:41.65
God has to be in relationship
of love if you want it to stay.
00:13:41.68\00:13:44.49
And that's a part that
we oftentimes leave out,
00:13:44.52\00:13:47.06
you know, and we forget.
00:13:47.09\00:13:49.32
So and now one thing I would say
00:13:49.36\00:13:51.33
to add that knowing if
you're in love with someone,
00:13:51.36\00:13:53.93
knowing what love looks
like a normal love does.
00:13:53.96\00:13:56.56
So let's talk about
now what are the things
00:13:56.60\00:13:59.00
that you would do
if you're in love,
00:13:59.03\00:14:00.94
I mean, of course, we
can go to 1 Corinthians 13,
00:14:00.97\00:14:04.01
I mean how love is
00:14:04.04\00:14:05.37
but what are
some practical things,
00:14:05.41\00:14:06.88
someone can say,
"Okay, I know I'm in love,
00:14:06.91\00:14:09.31
but I'm still not
sacrificing for that person."
00:14:09.34\00:14:13.15
This person in love, you know.
00:14:13.18\00:14:15.32
So what are some
things that we can say?
00:14:15.35\00:14:16.99
Say, okay, these are some signs.
00:14:17.02\00:14:18.55
I mean, I don't know
00:14:18.59\00:14:19.92
if this directly
answers your question
00:14:19.95\00:14:21.59
but I was talking to my
best friend the other day
00:14:21.62\00:14:24.09
and within that
conversation it was understood
00:14:24.13\00:14:27.93
that I don't
want everybody's love.
00:14:27.96\00:14:30.73
I don't need everybody's love
00:14:30.77\00:14:32.10
and everybody's
love is not good for me.
00:14:32.13\00:14:34.30
So just because you
say that you love me,
00:14:34.34\00:14:38.07
you're not necessarily
lying to your understanding,
00:14:38.11\00:14:41.04
you're not consciously lying.
00:14:41.08\00:14:42.91
But you don't understand
God, so you can't love me.
00:14:42.94\00:14:45.55
And so you have to once again
00:14:45.58\00:14:48.75
understand the characteristics
of love through Christ.
00:14:48.78\00:14:51.75
So I can identify if your
love is worthy of my love,
00:14:51.79\00:14:56.16
and I'm not even worthy
00:14:56.19\00:14:58.43
because it's the
understanding that...
00:14:58.46\00:15:00.50
okay, Christ has caught
us all to love one another.
00:15:00.53\00:15:03.83
Right. To agape everybody.
00:15:03.87\00:15:05.83
Exactly.
00:15:05.87\00:15:07.20
But now within a
marriage relationship
00:15:07.24\00:15:09.00
or boyfriend,
girlfriend courtship,
00:15:09.04\00:15:11.64
heading to a
marriage relationship,
00:15:11.67\00:15:13.68
I don't...
00:15:13.71\00:15:15.04
I'm not
necessarily supposed to be
00:15:15.08\00:15:16.41
in a relationship
with you like that
00:15:16.44\00:15:17.78
if you don't understand God.
00:15:17.81\00:15:19.15
Okay.
00:15:19.18\00:15:20.52
Anyone else want to add to that?
00:15:20.55\00:15:22.12
I think when you focus
00:15:22.15\00:15:25.45
and I'll give an illustration
to kind of explain it.
00:15:25.49\00:15:28.66
When you have both
people who are focused on God
00:15:28.69\00:15:33.73
which is vertical, eventually
they will run into each other.
00:15:33.76\00:15:38.33
And with that focus there,
they'll notice, like he said,
00:15:38.37\00:15:42.24
they'll notice that
God inside of both of them
00:15:42.27\00:15:45.71
and that love will be
a natural unforced merge
00:15:45.74\00:15:51.51
of what God has for both of them
00:15:51.55\00:15:53.52
and then towards each other.
00:15:53.55\00:15:55.08
And just like he said the
triangle is a strong shape
00:15:55.12\00:15:59.12
because it has the
support at the bottom
00:15:59.15\00:16:01.16
and both sides
are looking upward.
00:16:01.19\00:16:04.63
And so with that, I
think that's how you know
00:16:04.66\00:16:08.23
that you're loved.
00:16:08.26\00:16:09.60
The type of
things that you would do
00:16:09.63\00:16:11.03
isn't even that
you're directly focusing
00:16:11.07\00:16:13.47
on what you can
do for that person
00:16:13.50\00:16:14.84
but when you put God
into the equation what you do,
00:16:14.87\00:16:17.84
what He allows you to
do will automatically exude
00:16:17.87\00:16:22.04
that love that you
have for that person
00:16:22.08\00:16:23.85
without really needing to try.
00:16:23.88\00:16:25.45
Okay, okay. I like that.
00:16:25.48\00:16:27.62
Now I just wanna switch
gears just a little bit here
00:16:27.65\00:16:29.28
because I do wanna touch on
how do you know when it's time,
00:16:29.32\00:16:33.56
we are talking
about being in love
00:16:33.59\00:16:34.92
so how do you when it's time?
00:16:34.96\00:16:36.52
Maybe just even to get
into a relationship, you know,
00:16:36.56\00:16:38.93
and James, do you
want to touch on that?
00:16:38.96\00:16:40.36
So yeah, I ask a question,
00:16:40.40\00:16:41.86
I think that's
whatever one wants to know,
00:16:41.90\00:16:43.57
everyone has his
desires, and passion, and urges
00:16:43.60\00:16:45.67
and they're like
when is it that I do it?
00:16:45.70\00:16:48.34
I think that God
gives us as men and women
00:16:48.37\00:16:53.48
different urges
and different desires
00:16:53.51\00:16:56.48
specially when we grow up
00:16:56.51\00:16:57.85
and we hit adolescence
and we continue to grow.
00:16:57.88\00:17:00.42
And I think these desires
are from God, that, you know,
00:17:00.45\00:17:05.09
things kind of get awaken in us,
00:17:05.12\00:17:06.45
but I do believe that
it is a signal from God,
00:17:06.49\00:17:12.13
but it's not a signal
to pursue a relationship,
00:17:12.16\00:17:15.26
to get into a
relationship with someone else.
00:17:15.30\00:17:17.03
I think it's a signal to
pursue you growing as a man,
00:17:17.07\00:17:22.27
you growing as a woman,
00:17:22.30\00:17:24.24
so eventually as you
grown as a man and a woman
00:17:24.27\00:17:28.54
and learned your identity
as a godly man and godly woman
00:17:28.58\00:17:31.38
and know that who
you are in Christ.
00:17:31.41\00:17:34.12
At that time where God
says, okay, now it's time,
00:17:34.15\00:17:37.69
now I can put you, you together
with someone who is likeminded,
00:17:37.72\00:17:42.66
then that thing will
be rich at that point.
00:17:42.69\00:17:45.03
I think sometimes we get
into relationships too early
00:17:45.06\00:17:48.20
because we follow our impulses
00:17:48.23\00:17:50.27
and that's when
people's hearts get broken.
00:17:50.30\00:17:53.34
And our hearts are so tender
00:17:53.37\00:17:55.40
and they need to
be handled with care
00:17:55.44\00:17:57.17
and it's not that
we have bad intentions
00:17:57.21\00:18:01.64
of not handling the
other person's heart,
00:18:01.68\00:18:04.68
but we just really
don't know how to do it.
00:18:04.71\00:18:06.82
You know, we might
have a best intend as well,
00:18:06.85\00:18:09.22
I don't wanna break
her heart, you know,
00:18:09.25\00:18:11.05
but then you
just are not equipped
00:18:11.09\00:18:13.36
to really take care of it,
00:18:13.39\00:18:14.72
how it needs to
be taken care of.
00:18:14.76\00:18:16.46
So I think we should
definitely work on our self
00:18:16.49\00:18:20.13
and wait till the right time is
00:18:20.16\00:18:22.33
and you'll know
when the right time is.
00:18:22.36\00:18:23.70
Okay.
00:18:23.73\00:18:25.07
I wanna go back to the
whole heartbreak thing,
00:18:25.10\00:18:26.43
but I also wanna ask,
you said something about,
00:18:26.47\00:18:28.14
you know, impulses
and what not, you know,
00:18:28.17\00:18:30.74
how do you differentiate them
00:18:30.77\00:18:32.61
between what love is
00:18:32.64\00:18:35.38
or just infatuation
with someone, you know?
00:18:35.41\00:18:39.01
I think I can take that one.
00:18:39.05\00:18:40.65
Infatuation is an intense,
00:18:40.68\00:18:43.49
I wanna say an
intense like for somebody,
00:18:43.52\00:18:46.15
but it's not on
the same love as love
00:18:46.19\00:18:50.76
because God is love, right?
00:18:50.79\00:18:53.76
And God didn't
half love us, you know,
00:18:53.80\00:18:56.80
He full 100% loved us.
00:18:56.83\00:18:59.60
He intensely loved like
us because He created us,
00:18:59.63\00:19:04.01
of course He is
going to like us,
00:19:04.04\00:19:05.37
but He didn't
just half heartedly,
00:19:05.41\00:19:08.68
uncertainly put
His principle into us.
00:19:08.71\00:19:14.25
And so I feel like the way
that you know the difference
00:19:14.28\00:19:18.89
is that when
somebody, like we've stated,
00:19:18.92\00:19:22.02
when you see God
in both, you know,
00:19:22.06\00:19:25.33
that person in you've already
developed your relationship
00:19:25.36\00:19:28.00
with God, it's automatic.
00:19:28.03\00:19:30.97
It's not uncertain,
it's not floundering,
00:19:31.00\00:19:34.04
because
infatuation is floundering,
00:19:34.07\00:19:35.47
it fades away,
it's a quick emotion.
00:19:35.50\00:19:39.81
And you don't wanna
base anything off of emotion
00:19:39.84\00:19:41.98
or a feeling and so that I think
00:19:42.01\00:19:43.91
that's how you differentiate.
00:19:43.95\00:19:45.28
Okay.
00:19:45.31\00:19:46.65
I also wanna say that I think
00:19:46.68\00:19:48.02
that especially young
people need to be careful
00:19:48.05\00:19:49.68
about getting trying
to say or be in love,
00:19:49.72\00:19:52.92
you know, too quickly
00:19:52.95\00:19:54.29
because again it
goes back talking
00:19:54.32\00:19:56.49
about the whole
heartbreak thing.
00:19:56.52\00:19:58.59
I think that a lot
of times what happens
00:19:58.63\00:19:59.96
is when you're so
young, you kind of,
00:20:00.00\00:20:01.83
don't even know
what really love is
00:20:01.86\00:20:03.20
and so you kind
of get, you kind of,
00:20:03.23\00:20:04.57
what you're really experiencing
is more of an infatuation.
00:20:04.60\00:20:07.14
So you're kind of
confused on really what it is.
00:20:07.17\00:20:09.00
And so then of course
00:20:09.04\00:20:11.31
the heartbreaks
comes a lot of times
00:20:11.34\00:20:12.67
with these different situations.
00:20:12.71\00:20:14.04
So being young people
how do we even, you know,
00:20:14.08\00:20:17.48
in relationship
00:20:17.51\00:20:19.25
avoid that infatuation,
or heartbreak, you know,
00:20:19.28\00:20:22.08
how do you really
avoid those type of things
00:20:22.12\00:20:23.45
and keeping things in
perspective with your age,
00:20:23.49\00:20:26.15
and again that kind of goes back
00:20:26.19\00:20:27.52
to when you should
start this whole thing.
00:20:27.56\00:20:28.89
So?
00:20:28.92\00:20:30.26
Well, what you wanna
do is pray without ceasing
00:20:30.29\00:20:32.29
like being constant,
00:20:32.33\00:20:34.00
and praying
without ceasing is not,
00:20:34.03\00:20:36.67
"Dear Jesus" all the time,
00:20:36.70\00:20:38.57
but it's really
directing your thoughts to God.
00:20:38.60\00:20:41.27
And so if you're
in a relationship
00:20:41.30\00:20:43.37
and you're courting
someone, dating someone,
00:20:43.41\00:20:46.88
you wanna always be
in constant communion
00:20:46.91\00:20:49.31
and directing
all those thoughts,
00:20:49.34\00:20:50.68
all those feelings toward God.
00:20:50.71\00:20:52.58
And if they start
to lead you down a road
00:20:52.61\00:20:55.02
that you don't
really wanna go down,
00:20:55.05\00:20:56.75
that's when you're like,
okay, I need to tighten up
00:20:56.79\00:20:59.02
something within my
relationship with God.
00:20:59.05\00:21:00.86
Because apparently
00:21:00.89\00:21:02.29
the connection
between me and him
00:21:02.32\00:21:04.23
is off just a little bit
00:21:04.26\00:21:05.89
and so it's not
necessarily between you and I,
00:21:05.93\00:21:08.46
but it's between me and God.
00:21:08.50\00:21:10.03
And so I need to get
my relationship with God.
00:21:10.07\00:21:14.10
Okay, and I agree with that.
00:21:14.14\00:21:15.50
Do you think that's a
little bit challenging
00:21:15.54\00:21:16.87
for maybe
someone who is 15, 16, 17
00:21:16.91\00:21:20.04
that you make be, you
know, saying, you know,
00:21:20.08\00:21:23.14
making a mature decision
like that or maybe if not that,
00:21:23.18\00:21:25.51
maybe they
shouldn't, I don't know,
00:21:25.55\00:21:26.88
I'm just kind of stretching
00:21:26.92\00:21:28.25
for the
practicality of that, you know.
00:21:28.28\00:21:29.62
Yeah, and I hear
what you're saying
00:21:29.65\00:21:30.99
as far as the practicality
but at the end of the day,
00:21:31.02\00:21:32.35
if you're not
ready to acknowledge God
00:21:32.39\00:21:34.06
in a relationship, you
don't need to be in one.
00:21:34.09\00:21:36.36
So if you're 15 years
old, 15, 16, 14 years old
00:21:36.39\00:21:41.30
and you're like,
that doesn't make sense,
00:21:41.33\00:21:43.33
well, you need to get to know
God better, still nonetheless.
00:21:43.37\00:21:46.43
So when's the right time
to get in a relationship?
00:21:46.47\00:21:48.57
When I'm able to say I
can hear the voice of God
00:21:48.60\00:21:50.61
and God is saying yes.
00:21:50.64\00:21:51.97
Here we go.
00:21:52.01\00:21:53.34
And if God is not saying
yes, then you need to stop
00:21:53.38\00:21:54.94
and pause and
work on that relation
00:21:54.98\00:21:56.68
'cause ultimately if I
die and never get married,
00:21:56.71\00:22:00.68
I'll be okay.
00:22:00.72\00:22:02.15
Like, but if I die
and I've never known God,
00:22:02.18\00:22:04.35
I won't be okay.
00:22:04.39\00:22:05.72
So realizing
where your priority is,
00:22:05.75\00:22:08.49
is being in a
relationship and getting married
00:22:08.52\00:22:11.06
and being able to
have sex in marriage
00:22:11.09\00:22:13.06
is that like your
ultimate goal is that
00:22:13.09\00:22:16.16
what you are trying to obtain,
00:22:16.20\00:22:17.70
because if you try to
do that you will be hurt.
00:22:17.73\00:22:19.87
You will be if that's your goal.
00:22:19.90\00:22:21.24
Wow, okay.
00:22:21.27\00:22:22.60
And in the Bible,
00:22:22.64\00:22:23.97
love is the
only definite article
00:22:24.01\00:22:25.54
that describes God.
00:22:25.57\00:22:27.21
God is called many
things in the Bible but love,
00:22:27.24\00:22:29.71
it says God is love.
00:22:29.74\00:22:31.45
And so if we
want to love someone,
00:22:31.48\00:22:33.92
if we want to fall or grow
00:22:33.95\00:22:36.35
and walk in love with someone...
00:22:36.38\00:22:37.75
Yeah, there you go.
00:22:37.79\00:22:39.59
That's basically
we have to be in God.
00:22:39.62\00:22:41.96
And if you don't
wanna acknowledge God
00:22:41.99\00:22:43.53
like Dajanae said,
00:22:43.56\00:22:44.99
you don't need to
be in a relationship.
00:22:45.03\00:22:46.80
Right, all right.
00:22:46.83\00:22:49.33
I do wanna spend a little
time before we lose our time
00:22:49.36\00:22:53.20
to really talk
to the young people
00:22:53.23\00:22:56.77
and we have one lady in
here shown to hold it out,
00:22:56.81\00:22:59.51
but I want to talk
to young people here
00:22:59.54\00:23:01.41
about what they should be
looking for kind of actually
00:23:01.44\00:23:04.05
they should be looking
for in the opposite sex
00:23:04.08\00:23:06.11
when it comes to trying
to be in a relationship.
00:23:06.15\00:23:08.92
You know, in saying
that, what I mean is this,
00:23:08.95\00:23:10.69
I mean in the world a
man is probably looking
00:23:10.72\00:23:13.05
for a certain type
of woman, you know,
00:23:13.09\00:23:14.92
who is gonna have
almost like a trophy,
00:23:14.96\00:23:16.83
the trophy girl, you know,
00:23:16.86\00:23:18.19
whose body in certain
way and she is doing this
00:23:18.23\00:23:20.00
and doing that, she
can do this for him.
00:23:20.03\00:23:22.03
It's all about what
she can maybe do for him.
00:23:22.06\00:23:24.93
But what would a godly
men be looking for in a lady?
00:23:24.97\00:23:28.94
Is the physical even
part of it, you know,
00:23:28.97\00:23:31.24
and then also
for the women side,
00:23:31.27\00:23:32.61
you know, you're
holding down for ladies.
00:23:32.64\00:23:33.98
So what should
a woman be looking
00:23:34.01\00:23:36.21
for in a man, you
know, is it just about,
00:23:36.24\00:23:38.81
you know, his charisma
and his muscles and what not.
00:23:38.85\00:23:40.88
What is it really
they should be looking for?
00:23:40.92\00:23:43.28
So I'm gonna ask
Kyle, start with that?
00:23:43.32\00:23:45.72
Okay, well, I think it
goes back to seeing God
00:23:45.75\00:23:49.49
in that person
00:23:49.52\00:23:50.86
and their relationship
with God is together,
00:23:50.89\00:23:54.26
it's intact.
00:23:54.30\00:23:55.63
And they have...
00:23:55.66\00:23:58.07
I guess I can go
to Genesis with this,
00:23:58.10\00:24:01.44
God made Adam
and then He made Eve
00:24:01.47\00:24:04.54
and that all
happened where Adam had a job,
00:24:04.57\00:24:08.54
you know, he gave
the animals names,
00:24:08.58\00:24:10.61
and he was taking
care of the garden.
00:24:10.65\00:24:12.08
And then God put him
to sleep and you know,
00:24:12.11\00:24:14.95
he wasn't conscious, wow,
00:24:14.98\00:24:18.15
this person that he
was going to be spending
00:24:18.19\00:24:20.66
the rest of his
life with was coming.
00:24:20.69\00:24:23.12
So God knows exactly
what you're looking for
00:24:23.16\00:24:27.03
even if you don't know
what you're looking for.
00:24:27.06\00:24:30.30
There's a quote, my Mom
says it a lot, she says,
00:24:30.33\00:24:34.54
"Let Adam sleep."
00:24:34.57\00:24:35.90
And what she means by that is
00:24:35.94\00:24:38.04
if you're not
looking for that person
00:24:38.07\00:24:40.51
because you shouldn't
have to search, you know,
00:24:40.54\00:24:42.78
if God knows what you
want, if you've given Him
00:24:42.81\00:24:45.81
that the reigns to
that part of your life.
00:24:45.85\00:24:49.58
He'll bring along the
person, you won't have to search
00:24:49.62\00:24:52.29
because that
person will automatically
00:24:52.32\00:24:53.66
complement everything
that you're looking for.
00:24:53.69\00:24:55.96
So I think it's allowing
God to control that part of you.
00:24:55.99\00:24:58.79
Okay, awesome. Dajanae?
00:24:58.83\00:25:01.70
I'm still getting
my thoughts together
00:25:01.73\00:25:03.90
as far as, okay,
what in a godly man...
00:25:03.93\00:25:10.37
I need...
00:25:10.41\00:25:11.81
there's something that
before I was attracted to
00:25:11.84\00:25:16.68
but now being in Christ,
00:25:16.71\00:25:18.65
it is like the passion
in another man for God.
00:25:18.68\00:25:23.55
So like, just as passionate
as I'm for the Lord like,
00:25:23.59\00:25:27.76
you have that same passion.
00:25:27.79\00:25:29.19
And it's kind of like what...
00:25:29.22\00:25:30.56
it's the same thing
that Kyle is saying,
00:25:30.59\00:25:31.93
does it complement
my passion for Christ.
00:25:31.96\00:25:35.73
And as a woman, as a
female theology major,
00:25:35.76\00:25:38.80
are you going to
be okay with like,
00:25:38.83\00:25:42.47
the fact that I'm
passionate about the Lord,
00:25:42.50\00:25:44.81
like are you gonna feel
like I'm dominating over you
00:25:44.84\00:25:47.68
'cause I'm talking about Jesus?
00:25:47.71\00:25:49.61
And if you are
then we're probably
00:25:49.64\00:25:51.48
not gonna work together,
00:25:51.51\00:25:52.85
but there are men out
there that kind of complement,
00:25:52.88\00:25:56.02
you know, my passion for Jesus.
00:25:56.05\00:25:58.85
And being able to...
00:25:58.89\00:26:01.52
for me to feel comfortable
with submitting to you
00:26:01.56\00:26:04.63
because you love
God so much that we...
00:26:04.66\00:26:09.23
it won't be as
difficult, it won't be a clash.
00:26:09.26\00:26:12.47
Okay. All right.
00:26:12.50\00:26:13.90
David?
00:26:13.94\00:26:16.14
Realistically, I know
we are like in this since
00:26:16.17\00:26:20.78
but most of the world
wouldn't think like us.
00:26:20.81\00:26:23.71
So with males,
you wanna find girl.
00:26:23.75\00:26:26.68
Yeah, let's be real.
00:26:26.72\00:26:29.12
That's right, right,
right. It's important.
00:26:29.15\00:26:31.45
I don't wanna wake up
to anybody I'm regretting.
00:26:31.49\00:26:35.36
It's important but everything
that glitters is not gold.
00:26:35.39\00:26:39.16
And that's why I'm
gonna leave that at,
00:26:39.19\00:26:41.73
just be wise and
always rely on God.
00:26:41.76\00:26:44.23
Yeah, and I think that's
a key point that you said.
00:26:44.27\00:26:47.14
I think that we
as an individual,
00:26:47.17\00:26:48.74
we are visual,
00:26:48.77\00:26:50.11
and you know, we do, you know,
00:26:50.14\00:26:51.97
we all watch out
to the beautiful girls
00:26:52.01\00:26:53.54
but I think that what
we've seen through media
00:26:53.58\00:26:57.38
and these different
things they've given us a view
00:26:57.41\00:27:02.02
of what a woman
should look like.
00:27:02.05\00:27:04.52
But as godly men, you know,
00:27:04.55\00:27:08.42
we're looking
for something deeper
00:27:08.46\00:27:10.46
and yeah,
absolutely, you know, beautiful.
00:27:10.49\00:27:13.96
But you know,
the Bible also talks
00:27:14.00\00:27:15.43
about how the beauty
of a woman is acquired
00:27:15.46\00:27:18.17
in meek and gentle spirit.
00:27:18.20\00:27:20.17
And so the spirit
is kind of overpowering
00:27:20.20\00:27:24.57
their physical,
00:27:24.61\00:27:28.01
but the physical
is still visible,
00:27:28.04\00:27:30.25
you know what I'm saying,
so the God blesses that way.
00:27:30.28\00:27:33.48
Yeah, okay, yeah, I mean,
00:27:33.52\00:27:35.68
'cause as a man
you can always look
00:27:35.72\00:27:37.25
for just the finest woman,
00:27:37.29\00:27:38.62
you gotta look for the person
00:27:38.65\00:27:39.99
who has a spirit of God in them.
00:27:40.02\00:27:41.36
And I just wanna end with saying
00:27:41.39\00:27:42.72
as the time is running now.
00:27:42.76\00:27:44.09
And now these three
remain, faith, hope and love,
00:27:44.13\00:27:48.00
but the greatest
of these is love,
00:27:48.03\00:27:50.07
1 Corinthians 13:13.
00:27:50.10\00:27:52.37
You know, God holds
love to high standard,
00:27:52.40\00:27:54.14
so I remember to
make pure choices.
00:27:54.17\00:27:56.54