The following program
discusses sensitive issues.
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Parents are
cautioned that some material
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may be too candid
for younger children.
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Hello, and
welcome to Pure Choices.
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I'm your host
Pastor Joshua Nelson.
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And I'm so excited and glad
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that you
decided to join us today
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for another
edition of Pure Choices.
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Before we get into our topic
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which is talking
about men in purity.
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We're just going to
take a quick word of prayer
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and to introduce
our panel for today.
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Let's pray.
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Dear heavenly Father,
we just thank You so much
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for allowing us to be here, God.
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We just ask that
You would guide and lead
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this discussion today.
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In Jesus' name, we pray, amen.
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Amen.
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Well, let's introduce
our panel to my left we have,
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James Brandon,
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who is a campus
chaplain in Tampa, Florida.
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Across we also
have Jeremy Anderson
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who is a Christian author
and speaker from ASA, Alabama.
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Next to him is Kyle Scarlett
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who is an Oakwood
University theology student,
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they're in Huntsville, Alabama.
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And next to him is
Pastor K.P. Douglas
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who is the
pastor in Grand Avenue
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in New Life
Fellowship in Missouri.
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Excuse me, and I
am again Pastor Nelson
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who is a pastor in Marion,
in Lake City, South Carolina.
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So we are going to get right
into this discussion today.
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And I'm going to start
with the Anderson here.
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I was talking
about men and purity,
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so just talking
a little bit about
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what does it mean to be a man
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because of course
the society it seems,
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says that, "To
be a man, you know,
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you've got to go
and sleep around."
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They want you to have
that first night with that lady
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that's made you a man, you know.
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Well, what does it mean
now to be a Christian man?
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Just talk to us a
little bit about that?
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Well, if we look at
the biblical reference
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the Word of God says,
"Let us make man in our image."
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And a lot of times
we think of our image
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as in the stature
of man, the shoulders,
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the biceps, and
muscles and all of that.
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But he was actually
talking about the character,
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right, the personality of God.
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And so I believe that
when God initially made Adam,
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He said, "Let us
make man in our image."
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So if we're to
be God fearing men,
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we should be
reflecting the image of God
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in our character.
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So I think the
difference between a worldly man
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is just the man that
just wants to give money,
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wants to have women,
wants to glorify himself,
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but a godly man is a man that
solely lives to glorify God.
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Wow.
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So that's so neat
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because we have to
start looking at then
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God's character
not just our physique,
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you know, we think
that makes us a man.
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Let's talk about
that a little more.
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James, go ahead. Absolutely.
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And I think that when we
look at the character of God,
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everything about God is love.
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And love gives,
love does not take.
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So the word is telling
us that we have to take
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that we have to get
everything ourselves,
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we have to step
over the next man
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and we have to look good.
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And to do that, you
know, women are involved
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and we're trying to
pump ourselves up that way.
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But the agenda that we
should be looking to follow
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as men of God is an
agenda that we give,
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and we serve, and we love,
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and we're humble
like Christ was humble.
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And then by that we can
really reflect the image of God.
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Okay.
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I like that and, you know,
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a lot of times us men
talk about love and stuff,
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we kind of think all that's
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being little
too mushy and stuff.
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I mean really to be a man
it's still about being strong
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and being manly
but what we're saying
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you got to put it in
the right perspective.
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So, Kyle, talk
to us a little bit
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just a little more about men
and their purity now, you know.
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What is our duty
to be pure as men?
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I believe that our purity
is found in our identity in God
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and allowing Him
to solidify our being,
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how we act, how
we approach things,
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how we say things to people
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and what we go about doing
to not to show that we're pure
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but allow God to
exude a light from us
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that we don't have
to say that we're pure
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but it shows
through our actions, right.
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And that comes with
subjecting your will
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and your thoughts
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to what God would like you to do
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and that way you
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give of a sense
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that states, "I'm a man of God."
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And with that state
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you don't have to
constantly push an agenda of,
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"Oh, here I'm pure look at me.
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Look at me."
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Because people when
they see will understand it.
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That's deep, I like that.
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Kory?
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Man, you know, I'm a
simple guy, you know,
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and so I just want to
maybe some layman terms
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when we talk about
the character of God.
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When I talk about
being a man being pure,
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I'm thinking
about being responsible,
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about being loyal,
about being respectful.
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You know, one of my
favorite characteristics of God
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is faithfulness, you
know, God doesn't change
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and I think when
it comes to purity,
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it's all about
for me being in a...
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What's the word,
persistent. Okay.
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Being, you know, all the
time this is what I want to do,
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you know what I'm saying.
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So for me impurity is
about just want to go after it
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every day.
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Okay, so let's
put this in here now
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because as men we often
see this type of man display
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what he's always
trying to go out there
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and pursue, and get the
women, and do this and do that,
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and it can be a
little confusing.
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You know, we see that
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and then there's
another like the Christian man
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who is resisting and
not doing those things
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and a lot of
times we look at the man
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who has all the
women and all the girls
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on his on his arm and think,
"Man, that guy is powerful."
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You know, so talk to
me a little bit about
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the difference
between power and being a man.
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Is it more powerful than to say
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I'm a man who can
go get a bunch of girls
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or is it more powerful for me
to say I'm resisting, I'm not.
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You know, that's a
really great question
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and I'll tell you why.
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I believe that it's
harder to be the godly man
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that God has called us
to be and reserve ourselves,
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you know, to
practice some self-denial.
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It's easy to take
advantage of women.
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To use our personality,
our character, our charisma,
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the ethos that
we give off to get
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what we want from women.
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But a godly man, he
says, "Look not my will, right,
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follow what Christ
did but thy will be done."
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And so we take the power,
the influence that we have
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and we use that
to build up women.
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That's the challenge,
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and so we have to get to a point
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where we say, you know,
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not what I want
but it's all about you.
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And we begin to look
at them in the godly eyes,
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and to look at them as
the women that they are,
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I think that's when he's able
to operate within the realm.
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Yeah.
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I love it and
let's really begin now
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to look at the most
powerful man of us all,
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Jesus, you know, and
what was His lifestyle,
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what would He
live a life of doing?
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He was all powerful
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but yet He still humbled Himself
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even to the point of
death on the cross, you know.
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The hardest thing for Him to do
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was to not call
down all the angels
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to annihilate everybody
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but He resisted that
for something greater
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and that's true
power, that's true power.
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Someone else go
ahead and jump on that.
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Well, you know, we talked
about the character of God
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and how important it was
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and I believe
just like you're saying
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the most
important characteristic
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that God comes down and shows us
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is possible is that of humility.
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You know, and I
believe that strength...
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Paul says, "My strength
is made perfect in weakness."
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You know, God's
strength is perfected in us,
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in weakness, and we
will humble ourselves.
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We will find that
the kind of strength
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that God is
looking for is a strength
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that does not
originate in ourselves.
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It's like Jeremy
saying, it's easy to be strong
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based on your own little,
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you know, I can
say the right things,
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I can do to the right things.
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You know we got
the real phrases,
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you know, when we can't resist.
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No doubt. No doubt. Yeah.
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You know, but what
we're talking about
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the kind of strength that says
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let me put God's
will before my will,
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like, "Should I even...
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God, should I even
approach this young lady.
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Is it even Your will that I say
anything to this young lady?"
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You know what I'm
saying, and so I believe that
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we have to make sure
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that our strength is
perfected through weakness,
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through humility.
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Okay.
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So I love that,
I mean to be a man
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is about the character of God.
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The image of God is
not just His physique
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but it's also His character.
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Talking about power meaning
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not just ability to
do work your manhood
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and be all strong
and get the girls,
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but really being able to
resist and have self-denial.
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So let's be real now,
let's talk about this,
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because the reality is
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when I go down
just go to the store,
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let's just say I go to Walmart.
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And I'm going to see somebody,
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you know, I'm gonna see
some girl that looks fine.
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Let's just be
honest and she looks good,
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how do I train my eyes,
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I mean, how do I
avoid looking at the things
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and really possess
that power to resist?
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I think we have
to get to a point
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where we're
discipline within our mind.
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Okay.
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You know, I mean
look at the root,
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the word
disciple and discipline,
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we've got to get to the point
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we're discipline with our minds.
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And something that God
gave me about a year ago
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is a quote that I say the battle
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for our salvation
starts in our minds.
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And so when have,
when we see that sister,
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we have to
train our self to say,
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"Listen, that's
a beautiful woman
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but as a child of God
that's a daughter of God."
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That's not a piece of meat,
that's not a one night stand,
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that's not someone I
can just have fun with,
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that is God's daughter and
then we have to move from it.
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There have been times
if we can just be real,
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well, I've been
in a grocery store
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and I've seen a
woman with the figure
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and I'm looking the other way.
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And some will say,
"Ah, it's not that deep."
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No it is that deep.
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So I'm gonna...
I'm fleeing from it.
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When you look at the Bible,
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Joseph ran from Potiphar's wife.
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And so we have
to get to the point
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where we're
discipline within our mind
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and we practice
that self-control.
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Okay.
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Now, Kyle, my young brother
I'll put you out there, man.
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How hard is that, man, I mean,
let's be honest those watching,
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you know, it's tough, right?
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It is tough and like
Jeremy said, it's a mindset,
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it's how you approach it,
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and it's allowing
God to capture that
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thought of what
you physically see
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and what you're attracted to.
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It's allowing the
spirit to bind that viewpoint
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that is not pure
that is not of things
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that are of the
delight under God.
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So what needs to be
done is just allow God to,
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as soon as you get
that thought here God,
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here's this
thought, "It's impure.
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I don't need to be
thinking about this
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and here's what it is."
00:10:40.47\00:10:41.80
So I think that's how it goes.
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I think that men in
general are very visual.
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We see things and we
respond to those things
00:10:48.31\00:10:51.11
to that stimuli.
00:10:51.15\00:10:53.68
But I also know that
as far as women goes...
00:10:53.72\00:10:58.39
Men are always aware
of women and their bodies
00:10:58.42\00:11:02.32
and whether it is...
00:11:02.36\00:11:03.69
Whether you need to
just be aware and be watchful
00:11:03.73\00:11:06.19
and say you look, and
okay, you see that, and okay,
00:11:06.23\00:11:08.63
I need to, like you
said, focus elsewhere.
00:11:08.66\00:11:11.80
You know, or you know
someone what might want to,
00:11:11.83\00:11:14.37
you know, lust
after and say okay,
00:11:14.40\00:11:16.14
you know, I saw that and
I want to take another look
00:11:16.17\00:11:18.27
and I think that's
where the difficulty is
00:11:18.31\00:11:20.54
because when we see that thing,
00:11:20.58\00:11:22.58
we haven't sinned
just by seeing that figure
00:11:22.61\00:11:26.08
or what have you,
00:11:26.11\00:11:27.62
but it's by
dwelling on that thing
00:11:27.65\00:11:29.38
and taking that second look.
00:11:29.42\00:11:30.75
So once we understand
that we're being under attack
00:11:30.79\00:11:33.22
that's not a sin,
00:11:33.25\00:11:35.36
and we just have to
really fortify our minds
00:11:35.39\00:11:37.13
like you said just,
you know, believe that,
00:11:37.16\00:11:39.56
you know, Christ died
for that lustful nature in us
00:11:39.59\00:11:43.50
and ask for that
exchange, "God give me a..."
00:11:43.53\00:11:46.84
Yeah, "Give me a pure thought
for this lustful thought."
00:11:46.87\00:11:49.74
And then you can
overcome sin that way.
00:11:49.77\00:11:51.44
And I really think
that power is developed
00:11:51.47\00:11:53.64
from doing something like that
00:11:53.68\00:11:55.01
because as you begin to resist
00:11:55.04\00:11:56.54
those temptations it gets easier
00:11:56.58\00:11:58.18
and you get more power
and you continue to do it.
00:11:58.21\00:11:59.85
Absolutely.
00:11:59.88\00:12:01.22
I would even add to
that, you know, I believe that
00:12:01.25\00:12:03.15
it begins way
before that moment.
00:12:03.18\00:12:06.19
You know, I
believe it's something
00:12:06.22\00:12:07.56
that you have to.
00:12:07.59\00:12:08.92
We talked about...
00:12:08.96\00:12:10.29
Jeremy mentioned
about discipline,
00:12:10.33\00:12:11.66
I believe that is something
you've got to practice.
00:12:11.69\00:12:13.03
You know, we play
sports, we play basketball
00:12:13.06\00:12:15.40
and the key to a good jump
shot is to do the same thing
00:12:15.43\00:12:18.60
over and over again.
00:12:18.63\00:12:19.97
You know, and so
when you go to the gym,
00:12:20.00\00:12:21.34
when all these players go,
00:12:21.37\00:12:22.77
they practice doing
it over and over again
00:12:22.80\00:12:24.41
so when the game
comes, they do it naturally.
00:12:24.44\00:12:27.01
You know, and it is
something to be said about
00:12:27.04\00:12:29.91
temptation in our daily lives.
00:12:29.94\00:12:31.61
Even the smaller things
other than just the lust
00:12:31.65\00:12:33.92
and when we talk
about the impurities
00:12:33.95\00:12:35.72
not all just
about sex and women.
00:12:35.75\00:12:37.95
But, you know, how do you
react to those small things
00:12:37.99\00:12:39.59
happened in your life.
00:12:39.62\00:12:40.96
Do you place the
small things before God?
00:12:40.99\00:12:42.62
Do you allow God to
make your thoughts pure,
00:12:42.66\00:12:44.59
even when it's not something
that may be sexual, you know.
00:12:44.63\00:12:47.33
And if we can give
our thoughts to God,
00:12:47.36\00:12:49.03
we get into the habit of
giving our mind over to God
00:12:49.06\00:12:51.37
in those situations, then
when we come to that situation,
00:12:51.40\00:12:54.10
you know, where the
young lady walks by,
00:12:54.14\00:12:55.70
it will be a easier thing
for us to get over, get pass.
00:12:55.74\00:12:58.34
Okay.
00:12:58.37\00:12:59.74
You know, I think it's important
00:12:59.77\00:13:01.38
that we're filled
with the Holy Spirit.
00:13:01.41\00:13:03.65
We have that time in the morning
00:13:03.68\00:13:05.01
before we leave our home,
it is important that we say,
00:13:05.05\00:13:07.92
"God, I need You
to consecrated me.
00:13:07.95\00:13:09.45
I need You to possess my
mind, take complete control,
00:13:09.48\00:13:12.92
control my
thoughts, and make me aware."
00:13:12.95\00:13:15.86
And then what
happens is we're someone
00:13:15.89\00:13:17.39
and we see a woman
and she looks beautiful
00:13:17.43\00:13:19.73
and she's got a figure
00:13:19.76\00:13:21.10
and the carnal flesh
within us notices that,
00:13:21.13\00:13:23.50
the Spirit of God
will quicken us and say,
00:13:23.53\00:13:26.30
"But that's My
daughter right there.
00:13:26.33\00:13:28.50
That's My daughter right there."
00:13:28.54\00:13:29.87
And so then I
think at that point
00:13:29.90\00:13:31.24
we need to be
obedient to the voice of God
00:13:31.27\00:13:32.61
and recognize the chance
for me to look the other way
00:13:32.64\00:13:34.84
and get the victory.
00:13:34.88\00:13:36.21
And that's
something deep that you said
00:13:36.24\00:13:37.58
to just about
getting up in the morning
00:13:37.61\00:13:39.11
and spending that time with God
00:13:39.15\00:13:41.18
because, you know, a lot of
the young brothers out there
00:13:41.22\00:13:42.92
may not really value that.
00:13:42.95\00:13:44.35
You know, and it may not
even be a big value to even say,
00:13:44.39\00:13:46.89
I don't want to stop dwelling
and looking at this woman.
00:13:46.92\00:13:49.39
But what we're
trying to say here,
00:13:49.42\00:13:51.06
you know, is just having
00:13:51.09\00:13:52.73
experienced a
lot of these things
00:13:52.76\00:13:54.20
and saying, when
you begin to look,
00:13:54.23\00:13:56.36
it takes you down a path
that you don't even want to go.
00:13:56.40\00:13:59.30
So let's stop it right there.
00:13:59.33\00:14:00.80
Let's begin with
those disciplines,
00:14:00.84\00:14:02.70
getting up in the
morning and praying,
00:14:02.74\00:14:04.07
asking for the
Spirit to fill your mind
00:14:04.11\00:14:06.04
and allow Him to do that.
00:14:06.07\00:14:07.41
So I want to go a
little further now
00:14:07.44\00:14:08.81
and really as we're
talking about us being men,
00:14:08.84\00:14:11.38
what is then our
responsibility to women as men?
00:14:11.41\00:14:15.15
Go ahead.
00:14:15.18\00:14:16.52
You know and maybe
I'm a little anxious
00:14:16.55\00:14:17.89
to answer that question
00:14:17.92\00:14:19.25
but, you know, if we go
00:14:19.29\00:14:20.62
with the
biblical model of the man
00:14:20.66\00:14:22.02
being the priest of the home,
00:14:22.06\00:14:23.39
I believe personally
that not only is our purity,
00:14:23.43\00:14:26.76
our responsibility,
00:14:26.80\00:14:28.16
but the young woman's purity
is also our responsibility.
00:14:28.20\00:14:31.60
I believe that it is
up to us to make sure
00:14:31.63\00:14:33.64
that they maintain their purity,
00:14:33.67\00:14:35.57
you know, and so it
is about how we see them,
00:14:35.60\00:14:37.67
how we treat them,
00:14:37.71\00:14:39.04
what kind of
situations and position
00:14:39.07\00:14:40.54
do we want to put them in.
00:14:40.58\00:14:41.91
You know what I'm saying,
00:14:41.94\00:14:43.28
making sure that
we don't do things
00:14:43.31\00:14:44.65
or say things
that's going to cause them
00:14:44.68\00:14:46.41
to have
thoughts that are impure.
00:14:46.45\00:14:48.98
That's our
responsibility as well.
00:14:49.02\00:14:50.39
Jeremy says, you know,
it's about treating them
00:14:50.42\00:14:52.69
like daughters of
God and that's the truth.
00:14:52.72\00:14:54.66
You know, I don't
believe that it starts
00:14:54.69\00:14:56.42
during marriage, I think it
starts in our everyday life.
00:14:56.46\00:14:59.09
We should treat those
women, as you know, you know,
00:14:59.13\00:15:01.76
this could be my queen,
this could be the daughter
00:15:01.80\00:15:04.17
that God has for me and
so I have to be responsible
00:15:04.20\00:15:07.37
for making sure that she
maintains her purity as well.
00:15:07.40\00:15:09.40
Yeah.
00:15:09.44\00:15:10.77
Okay.
00:15:10.81\00:15:12.14
I think when you
focus the mind set on them
00:15:12.17\00:15:16.11
being God given
comprehensions of beauty,
00:15:16.14\00:15:19.88
it puts it in
perspective what you're doing,
00:15:19.91\00:15:23.22
and what mindset,
00:15:23.25\00:15:24.59
and how you should
approach the young lady
00:15:24.62\00:15:27.09
that God has created.
00:15:27.12\00:15:28.49
And not just as a person
00:15:28.52\00:15:30.99
but something that God
painted with His own hands,
00:15:31.03\00:15:34.50
you know, formed in His image.
00:15:34.53\00:15:37.13
And it all goes back
to the mindset of having
00:15:37.17\00:15:40.67
the Holy Spirit subject,
00:15:40.70\00:15:42.10
you know, subjecting all
of that to the Holy Spirit
00:15:42.14\00:15:44.64
and I'm letting him
control those thoughts
00:15:44.67\00:15:48.41
and just figuring out
how to on a consistent basis
00:15:48.44\00:15:53.35
don't go past that second mark.
00:15:53.38\00:15:55.48
Or for instance,
00:15:55.52\00:15:57.12
when you have the
Holy Spirit with you
00:15:57.15\00:16:01.22
that first thought
won't even be a thought
00:16:01.26\00:16:03.43
because
instantly it'll disappear
00:16:03.46\00:16:04.96
and you'll focus
on something else.
00:16:04.99\00:16:07.76
You'd be like, "Thank You,
God, this is what You created
00:16:07.80\00:16:10.70
I appreciate it,
but I need to move on
00:16:10.73\00:16:12.53
to something different."
00:16:12.57\00:16:13.90
And I think that's
how you should go about.
00:16:13.94\00:16:15.27
Okay, all right.
00:16:15.30\00:16:16.64
You know I guess my
heart at times gets heavy
00:16:16.67\00:16:19.21
when we have
discussions like this
00:16:19.24\00:16:20.68
because I see the
vices of the enemy.
00:16:20.71\00:16:23.45
When you watch TV
00:16:23.48\00:16:24.81
you've got the
Victoria's Secret commercials,
00:16:24.85\00:16:26.38
you've got the
Hanes commercials,
00:16:26.41\00:16:28.12
advertisement of burger
00:16:28.15\00:16:29.48
where they're really
advertising something else.
00:16:29.52\00:16:31.22
It's like women
nowadays have been degraded
00:16:31.25\00:16:33.49
in such a way and
I just believe that
00:16:33.52\00:16:35.26
when we as men rise up
to be the God fearing men
00:16:35.29\00:16:38.23
He's called us to
be to have dominion
00:16:38.26\00:16:40.36
that cultivates
the land and our women,
00:16:40.40\00:16:42.73
and let them know
how you have to live
00:16:42.76\00:16:44.23
a life to a higher standard
00:16:44.27\00:16:45.70
really pouring into
them and empowering them,
00:16:45.73\00:16:48.17
that's how we're gonna
fight this battle here.
00:16:48.20\00:16:49.97
Because that's
what we're expecting.
00:16:50.01\00:16:51.34
That's what
we're expected to do.
00:16:51.37\00:16:52.71
You know, the commercials,
most of those commercials
00:16:52.74\00:16:54.31
are geared towards men,
00:16:54.34\00:16:55.68
you know, we're not having that.
00:16:55.71\00:16:57.05
And really God gave us like
that dominion, that protection,
00:16:57.08\00:17:00.42
He now gives us
this responsibility
00:17:00.45\00:17:03.28
to not just to
grow I guess to nurture
00:17:03.32\00:17:07.46
and what are we doing with that,
00:17:07.49\00:17:08.82
you know, that is
where the strength and power
00:17:08.86\00:17:10.93
that we've been given requires
a lot of responsibility.
00:17:10.96\00:17:14.76
And we have to
continue to uphold that,
00:17:14.80\00:17:16.93
you know, as men.
00:17:16.97\00:17:18.30
Absolutely.
00:17:18.33\00:17:19.67
And I think that, you
know, we're kind of focusing on,
00:17:19.70\00:17:22.20
you know,
relationships with women
00:17:22.24\00:17:24.41
that we are attracted to
and want to pursue that way.
00:17:24.44\00:17:27.21
But I think it starts
with just women in general,
00:17:27.24\00:17:29.74
you know, our
mothers, our sisters,
00:17:29.78\00:17:31.61
really pouring into
them and being those men
00:17:31.65\00:17:35.78
and just helping
them to become the women
00:17:35.82\00:17:38.85
that they want to be
and that they could be
00:17:38.89\00:17:42.76
in just being that
strong male presence.
00:17:42.79\00:17:46.06
And like we said
from the beginning
00:17:46.09\00:17:47.50
have an attitude of giving
and growing and cultivating
00:17:47.53\00:17:51.30
and that way when
it comes to someone
00:17:51.33\00:17:53.90
who we want to pursue,
00:17:53.94\00:17:55.60
we're so used to that
and that we treat them like,
00:17:55.64\00:17:58.17
you know, you shouldn't
just open the door for someone
00:17:58.21\00:18:01.94
who you're dating,
00:18:01.98\00:18:03.31
you should open door for
your mom, for your sister.
00:18:03.35\00:18:04.68
And so chivalry
is not dead, huh?
00:18:04.71\00:18:06.05
Chivalry is not dead.
00:18:06.08\00:18:07.62
Let's bring it
back. Okay, I like that.
00:18:07.65\00:18:09.45
Now we're talking about
this thing of looking at women
00:18:09.48\00:18:12.19
and our
responsibility towards them
00:18:12.22\00:18:14.02
but, you know, many of us guys,
00:18:14.06\00:18:15.62
we just see women as
things or as trophies.
00:18:15.66\00:18:19.29
Why is that?
00:18:19.33\00:18:20.66
Why do we, I mean,
obviously we could talk about,
00:18:20.70\00:18:23.03
you know, what's happening
in the media and what not?
00:18:23.06\00:18:25.07
But why do we see them
just as trophies or as things?
00:18:25.10\00:18:30.07
I think we're brainwashed,
00:18:30.11\00:18:33.07
you know, by what
the media depicts it
00:18:33.11\00:18:36.41
from the music
videos to the commercials
00:18:36.44\00:18:38.31
to what you see on TV, to
what you see in magazines.
00:18:38.35\00:18:40.85
Think about the last time
you went to a grocery store
00:18:40.88\00:18:43.05
and you saw a woman
that was kind of heavyset,
00:18:43.08\00:18:45.95
that had short hair just
like you got to be super slim
00:18:45.99\00:18:48.42
with really long hair nowadays.
00:18:48.46\00:18:50.19
And so society has painted
a picture of what a woman is
00:18:50.23\00:18:54.06
and us men have been
trained to like run after that.
00:18:54.10\00:18:57.73
And so I think when we
really have the mind of God
00:18:57.77\00:18:59.93
and we see them
as the women of God,
00:18:59.97\00:19:01.90
the daughters of
God which they are,
00:19:01.94\00:19:03.71
I think we begin to
treat them differently,
00:19:03.74\00:19:05.81
they'll begin to take on
their role and recognize,
00:19:05.84\00:19:07.84
"Hey, you know, I
am a child of God,
00:19:07.88\00:19:09.74
I am a woman of God, you
know, I am a woman of virtue."
00:19:09.78\00:19:12.38
That type of thing.
00:19:12.41\00:19:13.75
I believe that when a
woman raises up her standards,
00:19:13.78\00:19:17.75
men would
naturally step their game up.
00:19:17.79\00:19:19.62
But I think that's for boys.
00:19:19.65\00:19:20.99
I think that we, men of God
00:19:21.02\00:19:22.96
can get to where we
can nurture the women
00:19:22.99\00:19:24.79
and let them know,
"Hey, your status is here."
00:19:24.83\00:19:26.96
I think that everything
else will fall into place.
00:19:27.00\00:19:29.00
We have to take charge,
00:19:29.03\00:19:30.37
we have to take a prominent role
00:19:30.40\00:19:32.00
and start saying
that you know as men,
00:19:32.03\00:19:33.70
we are not gonna
take this anymore.
00:19:33.74\00:19:35.07
I'm actually glad
that he said and, you know,
00:19:35.10\00:19:37.01
this might be a
little controversial
00:19:37.04\00:19:39.04
and we don't mind
it's pure choices,
00:19:39.07\00:19:41.14
you notice, everything here
we're talking about taboo stuff
00:19:41.18\00:19:43.24
but, you know, for young men,
00:19:43.28\00:19:45.88
I believe that some of it
00:19:45.91\00:19:47.25
is on the
shoulders of the young women.
00:19:47.28\00:19:49.38
You know, I'm just
very real they make it hard,
00:19:49.42\00:19:52.75
they make it hard,
you know what I'm saying,
00:19:52.79\00:19:55.16
they make it hard for you.
00:19:55.19\00:19:56.52
You know, I mean, it's
the norm in our societies
00:19:56.56\00:19:59.36
to show more
flesh, to show more skin,
00:19:59.39\00:20:02.13
you know, and for
a brother like myself
00:20:02.16\00:20:03.70
who wants to make pure choices,
00:20:03.73\00:20:05.40
it's hard not
to objectify people
00:20:05.43\00:20:09.34
who present
themselves as objects.
00:20:09.37\00:20:12.37
You know, and I believe
that there's also responsibility
00:20:12.41\00:20:14.61
for that as well
00:20:14.64\00:20:15.98
which of course is
the same on our part.
00:20:16.01\00:20:17.35
You know, we also
have to present ourselves
00:20:17.38\00:20:19.51
in a certain way, so
Jeremy is 100% correct,
00:20:19.55\00:20:22.45
you know, just as if the women
want us to raise our standards,
00:20:22.48\00:20:25.45
they've got to raise theirs.
00:20:25.49\00:20:26.82
If we want them to
raise their standards,
00:20:26.86\00:20:28.19
we also got to
raise our standards.
00:20:28.22\00:20:29.59
We got to let them
know, we're not having it,
00:20:29.62\00:20:31.33
we're not just
going to go for anything.
00:20:31.36\00:20:33.29
We want virtuous
women and not just women
00:20:33.33\00:20:35.40
who are pleasing to the eye.
00:20:35.43\00:20:36.93
Yeah, that's right.
00:20:36.97\00:20:38.30
I mean, and that is
true I mean it is hard
00:20:38.33\00:20:40.20
because you see it all the
time in every different way.
00:20:40.24\00:20:44.47
And you know what, let's
just call for what it is,
00:20:44.51\00:20:46.47
I believe that
comes from a broken place,
00:20:46.51\00:20:48.74
I knew a lot of
women who are beautiful
00:20:48.78\00:20:50.45
they wear the short
skirt, that loud makeup,
00:20:50.48\00:20:52.61
the extra weave
00:20:52.65\00:20:54.05
because they want
to present there...
00:20:54.08\00:20:55.42
I mean, let's be
honest, they want to,
00:20:55.45\00:20:57.19
they want to look
like what they see on TV.
00:20:57.22\00:20:59.29
You know, they've been degraded
as a young person, you know,
00:20:59.32\00:21:02.52
they've been molested,
00:21:02.56\00:21:03.89
they're looking
for satisfaction,
00:21:03.93\00:21:05.53
they're looking for acceptance.
00:21:05.56\00:21:07.20
And so they think that
in order for you to love me,
00:21:07.23\00:21:09.90
in order for you to value me,
00:21:09.93\00:21:11.67
I have to
present myself like this.
00:21:11.70\00:21:13.60
And so I think that
as long as we're firm
00:21:13.64\00:21:15.70
and we show them the
beauty that they have in God,
00:21:15.74\00:21:18.21
they'll recognize that
that's the true beauty.
00:21:18.24\00:21:19.57
Yeah.
00:21:19.61\00:21:20.94
And really, it's hard for us
00:21:20.98\00:21:22.31
because as men a lot of us
come from various situation
00:21:22.34\00:21:25.48
whether it's a broken home,
whether we didn't have a dad
00:21:25.51\00:21:27.45
to see those things in our life,
00:21:27.48\00:21:29.82
or maybe even
it was abusive dad,
00:21:29.85\00:21:32.52
or maybe it was a
situation where...
00:21:32.55\00:21:34.12
We had a good dad but
maybe he didn't talk to us
00:21:34.16\00:21:36.26
about these type
of things, you know.
00:21:36.29\00:21:37.83
So a lot of the men out there
00:21:37.86\00:21:40.26
also have a twisted
idea of how things should be,
00:21:40.30\00:21:42.60
you know, so what
do we say to them,
00:21:42.63\00:21:44.03
you know, as men who have
maybe not really arrived yet
00:21:44.07\00:21:47.17
but we are in a
place where we kind of,
00:21:47.20\00:21:48.97
kind of see the light, you know.
00:21:49.00\00:21:50.34
What do we say to someone there,
00:21:50.37\00:21:51.71
you know, again what
does it mean to be a man,
00:21:51.74\00:21:53.48
and how you view women?
00:21:53.51\00:21:57.01
Yes, so I think that, you know,
00:21:57.05\00:21:59.71
what you would say to them
00:21:59.75\00:22:04.45
would really go
back to the foundations,
00:22:04.49\00:22:07.12
back to the basics.
00:22:07.16\00:22:09.52
For someone who has not really
00:22:09.56\00:22:12.39
understood the
foundation of being a man,
00:22:12.43\00:22:14.73
it's hard to then
start somewhere else
00:22:14.76\00:22:17.40
because wherever you start
from there you move forward.
00:22:17.43\00:22:22.70
So if you don't
really have a springboard
00:22:22.74\00:22:24.94
or a platform or
foundation it's hard too so.
00:22:24.97\00:22:27.88
I just would definitely get back
00:22:27.91\00:22:29.24
to the biblical
foundation of being a strong man
00:22:29.28\00:22:32.68
doesn't mean
flexing your muscles.
00:22:32.71\00:22:37.09
Like if you're...
00:22:37.12\00:22:38.45
I thought about
the example earlier,
00:22:38.49\00:22:39.82
if you can fight
and you're a fighter
00:22:39.85\00:22:43.56
and you know you can fight,
00:22:43.59\00:22:44.93
you don't always
have to go to someone
00:22:44.96\00:22:46.29
and try to punk somebody,
you know what I'm saying.
00:22:46.33\00:22:48.86
The people who are not
confident in who they are,
00:22:48.90\00:22:51.30
they go and try to
flex their muscles,
00:22:51.33\00:22:53.23
but if you can fight
and you know you can,
00:22:53.27\00:22:55.50
you know, you
don't have to do that.
00:22:55.54\00:22:57.31
So I think that a lot of people
00:22:57.34\00:23:00.51
who don't really have
that foundation of really
00:23:00.54\00:23:02.78
who they are just
scrapping and trying to claw
00:23:02.81\00:23:06.21
and grab their
identity as a man.
00:23:06.25\00:23:08.78
So it's hard for them
to ever get it rolling.
00:23:08.82\00:23:10.62
Yeah, that's deep, yeah.
00:23:10.65\00:23:12.25
You know, to go along
with what you're saying there,
00:23:12.29\00:23:15.39
if we, and this is something
that's been passed down to me
00:23:15.42\00:23:18.33
as men, God fearing men,
00:23:18.36\00:23:19.89
I think that
every God fearing men
00:23:19.93\00:23:21.33
should have two different
sets of people in their lives.
00:23:21.36\00:23:23.67
A group of mentors,
older God fearing men,
00:23:23.70\00:23:28.04
who they look up to,
who they reach out to,
00:23:28.07\00:23:30.27
who they get poured
into and can grow with,
00:23:30.31\00:23:33.01
and then have some mentees,
00:23:33.04\00:23:34.84
some people who they can mentor.
00:23:34.88\00:23:36.21
All right.
00:23:36.24\00:23:37.58
So now I'm taking something
from a 40 or 50 year old
00:23:37.61\00:23:39.71
and they're
mentoring me I'm 30 now
00:23:39.75\00:23:41.95
and so I'm taking
what they're giving me.
00:23:41.98\00:23:43.55
And then I'm giving it
on to another young man
00:23:43.59\00:23:45.75
maybe in his teens or his 20s
00:23:45.79\00:23:47.36
and I think if we
continue with a cycle like that,
00:23:47.39\00:23:50.49
we can start showing
and we can begin to infuse
00:23:50.53\00:23:53.80
Godly men attributes within
the lives of people today.
00:23:53.83\00:23:56.90
Okay.
00:23:56.93\00:23:58.27
I'm going to get Kyle here
because I want to talk to you
00:23:58.30\00:23:59.63
now a little more
about, is recreation possible?
00:23:59.67\00:24:04.21
Are you able to now get passed
these type of lustful thoughts,
00:24:04.24\00:24:07.78
these type of things?
00:24:07.81\00:24:09.14
Is that even attainable?
00:24:09.18\00:24:10.51
Because in many cases a
lot of us just felt like,
00:24:10.55\00:24:12.28
man, we've gone so
far down this road,
00:24:12.31\00:24:13.78
how do we really, you
know, get ourselves back as men?
00:24:13.82\00:24:16.12
Well, because
Jesus died for our sins
00:24:16.15\00:24:19.69
and He took all of
those things upon Him,
00:24:19.72\00:24:23.89
I believe it is easy
to be recreated, it's...
00:24:23.93\00:24:27.00
Once again goes
back to subjection
00:24:27.03\00:24:29.33
and being willing to
give God what you have.
00:24:29.36\00:24:33.67
Your lust, your
pride, and etcetera
00:24:33.70\00:24:38.21
and is just giving
God all of those things
00:24:38.24\00:24:40.91
and saying, "Here
God, I don't need this.
00:24:40.94\00:24:42.91
This is not what I want to
be and I want to be like You."
00:24:42.94\00:24:46.75
That's, it's being
willing to want to be like God,
00:24:46.78\00:24:49.75
you have to
accept that and be like,
00:24:49.78\00:24:52.05
"Yes, this is
what I want to do."
00:24:52.09\00:24:54.32
And once we get to that point,
00:24:54.36\00:24:55.69
everything else as far
as recreation becomes easy
00:24:55.72\00:24:58.39
because we've already given God
00:24:58.43\00:25:00.26
the steering wheel to
our recreating of ourselves
00:25:00.30\00:25:05.97
and our identity is
found in Him anyway.
00:25:06.00\00:25:08.20
So that's how that would work.
00:25:08.24\00:25:09.87
So now once that
recreation has happened
00:25:09.90\00:25:11.81
and once you have
developed that newness in you,
00:25:11.84\00:25:14.88
what can a man
look forward to now?
00:25:14.91\00:25:16.91
I mean, because
now you may feel like
00:25:16.95\00:25:18.28
I'm missing out or
losing out all sorts of stuff.
00:25:18.31\00:25:19.71
What does that look like?
00:25:19.75\00:25:21.08
You know, is that
a good place to be?
00:25:21.12\00:25:22.75
Oh, yes.
00:25:22.78\00:25:24.12
Let me tell you something,
00:25:24.15\00:25:25.49
it is the good life
'cause that's my testimony.
00:25:25.52\00:25:28.76
Like God recreated
me, He restored me,
00:25:28.79\00:25:32.09
I live the life of fornication,
promiscuity for years,
00:25:32.13\00:25:37.53
I mean I was
captive by the vices of sin,
00:25:37.57\00:25:40.00
and when I got
restored and I got re-baptized
00:25:40.04\00:25:43.04
it was a young
woman that I was dating
00:25:43.07\00:25:44.77
and we say we're
going to this thing right,
00:25:44.81\00:25:46.14
we're going to
do this thing pure.
00:25:46.17\00:25:47.51
She ended up getting baptized,
00:25:47.54\00:25:48.88
we grew in our relationship
and we eventually got married.
00:25:48.91\00:25:51.81
So we are happy
and I'll praise God.
00:25:51.85\00:25:54.25
But what happened is there
was a reprogramming of my mind,
00:25:54.28\00:25:57.69
that's where the
battle of our salvation is.
00:25:57.72\00:25:59.92
That's where it is,
it's not in our hearts,
00:25:59.95\00:26:01.92
it's not in our backbone
or arms, it's in our mind.
00:26:01.96\00:26:04.86
And so God sent me to
a purification process,
00:26:04.89\00:26:07.23
a painful process
00:26:07.26\00:26:08.60
because I was used to a
certain type of lifestyle
00:26:08.63\00:26:10.27
and now all of a
sudden I'm stopping there.
00:26:10.30\00:26:12.30
And no
masturbation, no fornication,
00:26:12.33\00:26:14.24
like literally it was I
was all by the power of God
00:26:14.27\00:26:16.91
just connected with Him solely,
00:26:16.94\00:26:18.37
and He was able
to reprogram my mind
00:26:18.41\00:26:20.61
and then blessed
me with the wife.
00:26:20.64\00:26:22.21
And so now we are man and woman
00:26:22.24\00:26:24.18
that God
naturally intended us to be.
00:26:24.21\00:26:26.65
That's awesome.
00:26:26.68\00:26:28.02
I don't know if I have time,
00:26:28.05\00:26:29.38
I just want to
kind of share a verse
00:26:29.42\00:26:30.75
'cause we don't want to
make it all about do, do, do,
00:26:30.79\00:26:32.12
and don't just like
you said the foundation.
00:26:32.15\00:26:33.92
You know, Paul talks
about dying to Christ
00:26:33.96\00:26:36.22
and that, you know, is
not just about not handling,
00:26:36.26\00:26:38.43
not tasting, not touching,
this is Colossians 2:3 he says,
00:26:38.46\00:26:41.93
"But since you have
been raised with Christ
00:26:41.96\00:26:44.07
just keep seeking
the things that are above
00:26:44.10\00:26:45.83
where Christ is seated
at the right hand of God."
00:26:45.87\00:26:48.60
Recreation is possible
00:26:48.64\00:26:49.97
because Christ is seated
at the right hand of God,
00:26:50.01\00:26:51.87
and if we keep our
mind focused on that,
00:26:51.91\00:26:53.98
you know, Jesus is
interceding for me,
00:26:54.01\00:26:56.24
He is working to recreate me
00:26:56.28\00:26:57.91
and I have to
live with that in mind,
00:26:57.95\00:26:59.88
all things are possible.
00:26:59.91\00:27:01.28
You know, and we
could be like David
00:27:01.32\00:27:02.65
in every day I'll
prayer can be God,
00:27:02.68\00:27:04.42
recreate in me a new heart,
00:27:04.45\00:27:05.89
make a creation week in me.
00:27:05.92\00:27:07.66
You know, step out into nothing
and make everything pure,
00:27:07.69\00:27:10.33
you know.
00:27:10.36\00:27:12.59
That's it right there
00:27:12.63\00:27:13.96
and I just want to
end with this quote
00:27:14.00\00:27:15.50
from True
Education, page 38 it says,
00:27:15.53\00:27:18.47
"The greatest want of the world
00:27:18.50\00:27:20.50
is the want of
those men and women,
00:27:20.54\00:27:23.10
who will not be bought or sold.
00:27:23.14\00:27:26.57
Those who in their inmost
souls are true and honest,
00:27:26.61\00:27:29.68
those who do not fear to
call sin by its right name.
00:27:29.71\00:27:33.38
Those whose
conscience is as true to duty
00:27:33.42\00:27:36.18
as the needle to the pole,
00:27:36.22\00:27:38.35
those who will
stand for the right
00:27:38.39\00:27:40.79
though the heavens fall."
00:27:40.82\00:27:42.29
And this is what
it means to be a man.
00:27:42.32\00:27:44.79
We have to stand
for right, we have to do
00:27:44.83\00:27:46.59
what God has called us to be
and truly that takes strength,
00:27:46.63\00:27:49.80
it takes power,
it takes courage,
00:27:49.83\00:27:52.27
but you know
what, it takes Jesus.
00:27:52.30\00:27:53.97
And by His grace we can do it,
we could be the men of today.
00:27:54.00\00:27:57.54
Well, that's our
program for today,
00:27:57.57\00:27:58.94
remember to make pure choices.
00:27:58.97\00:28:00.74