Welcome to "Pure Choices."
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I am Pastor Ron
Woolsey and with me today
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is my colleague in
Coming out Ministries,
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Mike Carducci. Welcome, Mike.
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Hey, Ron.
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We're going to talk
about a subject that to me
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is fascinating today
and that is about dreams.
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Actually this specific subject
will be about sexual dreams.
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But, you know, in the
Bible, we see many instances
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where God has spoken to
His people through dreams.
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And I'm sure we all have
many experiences of dreams
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and nightmares,
inspiring dreams,
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troubling dreams and so forth.
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I know in my family...
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If my wife and
children watch this program
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and I'm sure that they
will be watching this program.
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They are going to
really have a laugh
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that I'm the one
hosting this program on dreams
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because I'm known in my family
for having wild bizarre dreams.
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Before I came to the Lord,
I believe the Lord visited me
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repeatedly with recurring
nightmare of living through
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the coming of
Jesus as a lost person.
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And, and He used that
to help me come to Him.
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In fact, since
I've become a Christian,
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Mike, in 21 years I
have never had that dream
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or anything like it.
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But I do continue to
have some pretty wild bizarre,
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just crazy dreams that
leave me laughing in the morning
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or I tell my family about
them and they get real tickle.
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In fact, they
remember them better than I do.
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But, the question we're
going to look at today is...
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I mean, we know that
the Lord visits His people
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and works through
dreams in all kinds of ways.
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He will do
anything to reach His people
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or to reach someone
He is seeking to save.
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But is it possible that
there are other spiritual forces
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that can use that same
medium, what do you think, Mike?
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I definitely
have had experiences,
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you know, where I believed
that I've had to question,
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you know, what
the, what the force was
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behind some of the
dreams that I've had.
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You know, like you, Ron,
I have incredible dreams.
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And I don't know if it's
because I'm a hairdresser
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and I tend to be, you know,
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very far outside
the box a lot of times.
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But what I've
noticed is I had dreams like,
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like you've had before
where the Lord is coming
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and I wake up with this panic,
you know, is my heart ready?
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And I can see
that those definitely
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have a
spiritual emphasis to them
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and they are designed to,
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you know, bring
me to conviction,
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bring me to
conversion and repentance.
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However, a few years ago
as I was gaining the victory
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over pornography
and masturbation...
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Well, let me go back
just a little bit more.
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What was incredible is when,
again, when I got baptized,
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I was still in sexual addiction
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and in a
relationship with the boyfriend.
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And as God was
bringing me on that journey,
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the cycle of masturbation had
begun when I was 13 years old.
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And so it was so
strong in my life
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and I've definitely
read some shocking quotes
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in testimonies on
sexual behavior and divorce.
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They talk about how,
you know, this vile habit
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and how it not
only destroys the mind
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but also destroys the
body and destroys the spirit.
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And so I was struggling
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with some of those
quotes that I have read
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and as I was
learning the process
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that it wasn't a
work that I could do
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because I could never gain
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the victory over
that, that habit.
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That I recognized that
what I had to do is start
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to submit that to Jesus Christ.
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And, and I think the good thing
out of that is I had to learn,
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that I had to
breathe in the Holy Spirit
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like I breath air.
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I didn't have the luxury
of just praying in the morning
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and asking God
to give me strength
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and that I would
make it through the day
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and at night I
would be, you know, okay.
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I had to
recognize that sometimes
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even then in the midst
of while I was praying that,
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that habit would
actually come into my mind,
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the thought of it and sometimes
I would actually stop praying
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to indulge that behavior.
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I felt
absolutely out of control,
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but as I learned
to start surrendering
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and learned that
when temptation comes,
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if I submit it and
surrender it up to the Lord,
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He would take it.
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And what I would
get is the strength
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that would give me the victory.
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And so, when I had
started really realizing
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how that process was working.
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For the first time
in my life, in my 40s,
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I started to gain the victory
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over
masturbation and pornography.
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Oh, praise the Lord for that.
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Amazing, Ron. I
didn't think it was possible.
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And then when I
did experience it,
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all of a sudden it
was like, it was like,
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you know, the fantasy
and the attraction to man
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and to women
was completely gone,
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nine months of
sobriety in that area.
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And one day, Ron,
I just tested faith.
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And I wondered if history
and memory were still intact.
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And as I went down that road,
it opened up a Pandora's box
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if you would of this flood
that was worse than the first.
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It was, it wasn't the
frequency so much as it was.
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It would just
overtake me in a moment
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and I might go a couple of
weeks or maybe even a month
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and then all of a sudden,
it would hit again and...
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So are you... Excuse me.
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But are you suggesting or saying
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that then you relapsed
or you're talking about
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relapsing back after
all of that time of sobriety
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that you relapsed back into it?
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You say you were
just testing to see...
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Well, I didn't have
thoughts that were sexual.
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It was like God had
completely closed the valve
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to all of that temptation
that was coming to me.
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And after nine months of not
having any temptation at all,
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I, I made the foolish decision
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to see if my
memory was still intact.
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Even the memories of
what I lived for 20 years
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in the gay lifestyle
seemed to be completely shutout.
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So that's interesting after
that period of time of victory,
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that even without temptation,
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you chose to dabble
or chose to experiment
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and so you brought
it back upon yourself.
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Is that what you're saying?
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Am I understanding it correctly?
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Wasn't that a temptation, Ron?
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You know, if the
thought in my mind came.
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Hey, why am I not sexual at all?
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So that
definitely was a temptation,
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but that
brought in the flood of.
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Right, you opened the
door that had been closed.
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Yes. You made a
purposeful choice.
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Yes, that would be a temptation,
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but it probably was not
recognized as a temptation.
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It was not something you were
battling all the time anymore.
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You just decided, I wonder...
Ron, I wasn't battling at all.
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I want to make that distinction
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because I
wasn't battling at all.
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And that's when, you know,
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again still to have
that kind of victory,
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you know, how sad that I
wasn't relishing in the victory,
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you know, that the old
flesh was still coming up
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and saying "Well, does that
mean you're not sexual at all?"
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And those thoughts
again create the self interest
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which I believe
started the, the disconnect.
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That brings to my mind
the text about Paul saying,
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talking about how he must die.
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He must die daily, lest
he himself become a castaway.
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While he's turning the world
upside down with the gospel,
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he himself could
still be a castaway.
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So he goes back to that
daily dying, doesn't he?
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Right. Right.
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So then what happened?
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After that, you said
it opened the flood gates.
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Let's elaborate on
that. Yes. And so even being,
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you know, a member of my church
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and being in good
standing in the church,
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you know, the conviction
and the guilt of what I was,
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what was overtaking me...
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Again I was in a position
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that I felt like I
was in as a young teen,
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like struggling
with this thing inside.
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And, and while
I wasn't involving
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other people in this activity,
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I still knew how vile it
was by some of the quotes
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that I read, you know,
from Ministry of Healing
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and even from the Bible.
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And so as I struggle to really
gain control of this again
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and I had to
recognize that again
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I was in a worst place
than I was to begin with,
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like God had shut that off.
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And so now, I was going
through the process again.
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What I had to recognize is,
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I had to absolutely
come to Jesus as I was
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even without the
opportunity to clean myself up.
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I had to come to Jesus
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and absolutely
say, Lord, look at me.
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Look at what a mess I am.
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I'm filthy, I'm disgusting.
How can you even take me?
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And even Satan would put
these thoughts in my head
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that I had gone passed
the limits of God's mercy.
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And when I
would open up the word
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and especially
like in Steps of Christ,
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page 37, it says,
"Do not wait to feel
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that you are made
whole, but say I believe it.
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It is so not because I feel it,
but because God has promised."
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And simple promises like
that, I was able to claim
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and it would
reconnect me to the Lord.
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And so again, I
had to go through
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the process all over again,
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only this time with the
guilt and remorse that I had,
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had that freedom
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and now this door
had opened up again.
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And so what was beautiful is,
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in my church I
had made two comments
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at different times that I
come from sexual addiction.
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The sad part
was is, in my church
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there were no
resources for anyone
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to find a safe place to admit
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that they were
struggling with sexual sin.
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Two men that are in my church,
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they had come
forward to me privately
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and they had said,
Mike, you know I'm struggling
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with pornography
addiction and my wife found out
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and she wants to get a divorce.
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Can you help me?
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And the desperation of seeing,
you know, this man come to me
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with this problem
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and here he was a
leader in the community.
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He wasn't just, you
know, somebody who was,
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you know, a derelict
of society if you would.
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And then another man came to me
who was a deacon in the church
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that had struggled
with it for 35 years
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and it hurt me
say that same comment.
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And the exact same scenario,
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you know, same
restaurant, the same table
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and sadly enough the same issue.
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And when he told me that
he also struggled with it,
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we began a
support group in my home.
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And we used Ministry of
Healing as the textbook.
00:10:37.10\00:10:39.57
And as we used
Ministry of Healing,
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each page talked about
the goodness of the Savior.
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It talked about how Jesus came
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to heal men in
mind, body and spirit.
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And that the same Jesus
that came 2,000 years ago
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that never
healed anyone halfway,
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it's the same Jesus today that
wants to heal us completely.
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So as I started to read this,
this textbook if you would.
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I started to gain the victory
and authenticity by being open
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and having accountability
partners with these two men
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as I was their
accountability partner.
00:11:09.26\00:11:11.77
So what began then
is, once I got the victory
00:11:11.80\00:11:14.24
again over the
pornography and masturbation,
00:11:14.27\00:11:17.91
what happened is I started
to have these homoerotic dreams
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and I was out of control.
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I would have as many
as, as three in an evening.
00:11:23.08\00:11:26.05
So now Satan is
taking advantage of a door
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that you had opened
and He is being persistent.
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I'm saying Satan
because it sounds like
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something that
was coming from him.
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And so now he is
attacking you through dreams,
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is that what I'm hearing?
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And can you explain what
you mean by homoerotic dreams?
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Right.
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When they
started, again you know,
00:11:47.94\00:11:50.31
being an adult male in my 40s
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to have those
kind of dreams again
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and I would have to get
up and change my pajamas.
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And sometimes I would have
as many as three in an evening,
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but homoerotic meaning that,
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that the dreams were
homosexual in nature.
00:12:02.52\00:12:04.92
And they were as so
bizarre that sometimes
00:12:04.95\00:12:07.16
it was just body parts
in a dream or it was ideas,
00:12:07.19\00:12:10.43
and sometimes it was actual
demons that were in the dreams.
00:12:10.46\00:12:13.93
And what was happening is,
00:12:13.96\00:12:15.43
I realized that once I've
gotten the physical victory
00:12:15.46\00:12:19.27
over the
masturbation, that still,
00:12:19.30\00:12:21.87
that sin
originates in the mind, Ron,
00:12:21.90\00:12:23.84
is the best that
I can explain it.
00:12:23.87\00:12:25.84
And so the last
frontier for the masturbation
00:12:25.87\00:12:30.15
and the pornography
was going to be in my mind.
00:12:30.18\00:12:32.85
Well, but it sounds like
you're suggesting here that
00:12:32.88\00:12:37.22
you have no control over
dreams or is that true that...
00:12:37.25\00:12:42.72
It seems like when we go
to bed and we start dreaming,
00:12:42.76\00:12:45.93
there are things that
come in and you just wonder,
00:12:45.96\00:12:48.30
"Where in the world
did that come from?"
00:12:48.33\00:12:50.40
I haven't seen this
picture or this incident
00:12:50.43\00:12:54.50
since I was a child
or I don't even know
00:12:54.54\00:12:57.94
where that came from.
00:12:57.97\00:12:59.31
I don't even
know who that person
00:12:59.34\00:13:00.68
is that is in that dream.
00:13:00.71\00:13:02.54
So it seems to me like
00:13:02.58\00:13:04.78
that we don't have
control over dreams.
00:13:04.81\00:13:06.82
I'm being the advocate here.
00:13:06.85\00:13:09.48
Do we have
control over our dreams?
00:13:09.52\00:13:11.75
What do you think?
00:13:11.79\00:13:13.12
Well, Ron, I totally
agreed with what you said.
00:13:13.15\00:13:16.59
For several
months during that time
00:13:16.62\00:13:18.66
thinking I can't control this.
00:13:18.69\00:13:21.10
And it started to
really ache on my heart that,
00:13:21.13\00:13:23.37
that can't be from God.
00:13:23.40\00:13:24.73
I knew that it
couldn't be from God.
00:13:24.77\00:13:26.33
And as I started
to explore with God,
00:13:26.37\00:13:28.50
why I was having these dreams
00:13:28.54\00:13:29.97
and why I was
having them so frequently
00:13:30.01\00:13:31.61
when I gotten the
victory over the physical act,
00:13:31.64\00:13:34.84
then what happened is,
00:13:34.88\00:13:36.21
I believe that God
started to reveal to me
00:13:36.24\00:13:38.51
that I could
actually have access
00:13:38.55\00:13:40.45
and some control in my dreams.
00:13:40.48\00:13:42.12
But at first, I totally
felt absolutely out of control.
00:13:42.15\00:13:45.09
As I enlisted these men
00:13:45.12\00:13:46.76
that I was having
this support group with,
00:13:46.79\00:13:49.29
as I enlisted their help,
00:13:49.32\00:13:50.93
you know, what
was incredible is,
00:13:50.96\00:13:52.53
not only were they
affirming me and supporting me
00:13:52.56\00:13:56.56
and they weren't
judging me or ridiculing me.
00:13:56.60\00:14:00.30
What they were doing is
like, Mike, we're struggling,
00:14:00.34\00:14:02.60
you're struggling,
we're lifting you up.
00:14:02.64\00:14:05.24
So what was so fantastic
about that, Ron, for me is,
00:14:05.27\00:14:08.11
is number one, I was
getting affirmation from men
00:14:08.14\00:14:10.21
which was healing in itself.
00:14:10.25\00:14:11.88
And then number two
is, I was getting two men
00:14:11.91\00:14:14.35
that were willing to pray for me
00:14:14.38\00:14:15.72
that was actually sending
what I think is an arsenal of,
00:14:15.75\00:14:19.02
of angels to assist me in
this process of overcoming.
00:14:19.05\00:14:21.36
So you needed
divine intervention
00:14:21.39\00:14:24.26
in relation to these dreams
because you were recognizing
00:14:24.29\00:14:28.46
that this is not
just a fluke, right?
00:14:28.50\00:14:31.57
This is not just
dreams that are brought about
00:14:31.60\00:14:35.50
by incidents in
the day or thoughts
00:14:35.54\00:14:37.57
that I have had during the day.
00:14:37.61\00:14:39.31
It sounds to me like
what you're saying is,
00:14:39.34\00:14:41.84
there was a definite
spiritual attack going on here.
00:14:41.88\00:14:44.88
Is that
correct? Yes. Yes. Right.
00:14:44.91\00:14:46.25
And because of the
nature of the dream
00:14:46.28\00:14:48.32
being homoerotic
or sexual at all,
00:14:48.35\00:14:51.55
I realized quickly
that, that can't be from God.
00:14:51.59\00:14:54.52
And then I wondered,
well, how is that a Satan
00:14:54.56\00:14:56.73
has access to my dreams?
00:14:56.76\00:14:58.63
And then of course I realize,
again that the last frontier
00:14:58.66\00:15:00.93
is the mind or sin
originates in the mind
00:15:00.96\00:15:03.37
because the Bible talks about
that when sin is conceived,
00:15:03.40\00:15:06.80
you know, that means
before it's actually actual,
00:15:06.84\00:15:09.34
you know, activated.
00:15:09.37\00:15:10.84
So I realize then
that I was actually
00:15:10.87\00:15:13.34
fighting demonic
forces in my dreams.
00:15:13.38\00:15:16.28
Oh, this is amazing how
Satan can invade the privacy
00:15:16.31\00:15:21.42
of our bed in our
night sleep and can work.
00:15:21.45\00:15:27.29
That guy never
takes a break, does he?
00:15:27.32\00:15:29.82
I mean he never takes a nap.
00:15:29.86\00:15:32.43
While we're
napping, he's saying,
00:15:32.46\00:15:34.23
I'm going to get in here.
00:15:34.26\00:15:35.86
I can work on this man
even while he's sleeping,
00:15:35.90\00:15:38.40
isn't that amazing
that he does that, so...
00:15:38.43\00:15:43.07
And we might question,
00:15:43.10\00:15:44.44
what right does
he have to do that?
00:15:44.47\00:15:45.97
I'm a Christian.
00:15:46.01\00:15:47.38
I have professed
to and I have accepted
00:15:47.41\00:15:49.81
Jesus Christ as my savior.
00:15:49.84\00:15:52.68
I have renounced my old life.
00:15:52.71\00:15:55.45
I have victory in
my life in these areas.
00:15:55.48\00:15:58.35
What right does Satan
have to invade my home,
00:15:58.39\00:16:02.82
my mind, my bed
while I'm sleeping?
00:16:02.86\00:16:06.70
Does he have that
right and if he does,
00:16:06.73\00:16:08.83
how does he get that right?
00:16:08.86\00:16:10.23
Right.
00:16:10.27\00:16:12.33
As I was enlisting the
help of God in response to,
00:16:12.37\00:16:17.11
you know, my questions about
how I was having these dreams.
00:16:17.14\00:16:20.71
What I was led to was that,
00:16:20.74\00:16:22.71
now that I gotten the
physical victory over that
00:16:22.74\00:16:24.78
and recognized that
process of taking temptation
00:16:24.81\00:16:27.68
and surrendering up to the Lord.
00:16:27.72\00:16:30.09
What I started to
realize is the Holy Spirit was,
00:16:30.12\00:16:33.49
was encouraging me if
you would to surrender
00:16:33.52\00:16:37.09
everything at night
before I went to sleep.
00:16:37.13\00:16:39.19
As a matter of fact
even while I was working
00:16:39.23\00:16:41.66
with the other guys
in our support group,
00:16:41.70\00:16:43.83
you know, it became clear to me
00:16:43.87\00:16:45.20
that at night
before I went to bed,
00:16:45.23\00:16:46.90
I started to get panic attacks
about going to sleep for fear
00:16:46.94\00:16:49.74
that again that I
would have these dreams.
00:16:49.77\00:16:52.01
And also to have to
confess to my friends
00:16:52.04\00:16:54.74
that yes, I had, you know,
00:16:54.78\00:16:56.11
one, two, three of
them the night before.
00:16:56.14\00:16:58.15
So at night when
I would go to bed,
00:16:58.18\00:17:00.35
I would start praying
and I would ask the Lord
00:17:00.38\00:17:02.48
to show me
anything that would have
00:17:02.52\00:17:06.12
any influence to
give Satan a foothold
00:17:06.15\00:17:08.19
if you would in my subconscious.
00:17:08.22\00:17:10.69
So in essence you
were understanding
00:17:10.73\00:17:14.06
that perhaps you were
giving Satan permission
00:17:14.10\00:17:18.03
by something you had done
00:17:18.07\00:17:19.40
during the day or
viewed during the day
00:17:19.43\00:17:22.20
or thought about or talked about
00:17:22.24\00:17:23.67
during the day, is that correct?
00:17:23.71\00:17:25.04
Right. So...
00:17:25.07\00:17:26.41
And you wanted
the Lord to show you
00:17:26.44\00:17:27.78
so you could, could make a mends
00:17:27.81\00:17:32.08
or you could put a stop to that?
00:17:32.11\00:17:34.75
Well, as I started praying
and asking the Holy Spirit
00:17:34.78\00:17:37.49
to show me or to reveal to me
00:17:37.52\00:17:39.02
anything that I may
have indulged in that day
00:17:39.05\00:17:41.56
that would give Satan a foothold
00:17:41.59\00:17:42.92
in my dreams, in my sleep.
00:17:42.96\00:17:45.53
What happened is the Holy Spirit
00:17:45.56\00:17:47.03
would start to reveal to
me things that I may have
00:17:47.06\00:17:49.40
lingered at or watched
during the day, things,
00:17:49.43\00:17:53.07
not pornography on the internet
00:17:53.10\00:17:54.60
but you know, just anything that
00:17:54.64\00:17:57.84
I would have indulged in
or remembered an old thought
00:17:57.87\00:18:00.58
or a memory that
wasn't surrendered up.
00:18:00.61\00:18:02.64
And so as I did
that, I was able to,
00:18:02.68\00:18:06.05
you know, ask for
forgiveness for that
00:18:06.08\00:18:08.22
and repent of what I had seen
or what I've thought of her,
00:18:08.25\00:18:10.75
when I was lingering in.
00:18:10.79\00:18:12.29
And so as I was able to do that,
00:18:12.32\00:18:13.76
I started to gain victory
over the homoerotic dreams
00:18:13.79\00:18:18.66
and I started to, you
know, have a full night sleep
00:18:18.69\00:18:21.23
without any invasion
of homoerotic dreams.
00:18:21.26\00:18:24.67
So you have prayed
before going to bed
00:18:24.70\00:18:26.50
that the Lord would
protect you from that
00:18:26.53\00:18:28.30
and hold back
the forces of evil,
00:18:28.34\00:18:30.47
perhaps maybe give you
00:18:30.51\00:18:32.17
inspiring
uplifting dreams instead,
00:18:32.21\00:18:34.94
this type of thing or what?
00:18:34.98\00:18:36.31
Ron, I'm so glad that you,
that you went down that angle
00:18:36.34\00:18:40.12
because one other
things that I really enjoy,
00:18:40.15\00:18:43.28
you know, I was used to having
00:18:43.32\00:18:45.49
one or more illicit
situations in a week.
00:18:45.52\00:18:49.32
And you know,
the thought of going
00:18:49.36\00:18:51.29
without sex or whatever,
for me that was like monumental
00:18:51.33\00:18:54.73
when I got the
victory over that.
00:18:54.76\00:18:56.23
And so for the last 12 years,
you know, I've lived alone,
00:18:56.26\00:18:59.83
I've slept alone and
the beautiful part is that
00:18:59.87\00:19:02.84
God is so real to
me in the evening.
00:19:02.87\00:19:05.47
The last thing I talk to
00:19:05.51\00:19:06.94
or the last person
I talk to is Jesus.
00:19:06.98\00:19:08.94
And the first
person in the morning
00:19:08.98\00:19:10.61
I speak to is Jesus.
00:19:10.65\00:19:11.98
And what's so beautiful
00:19:12.01\00:19:13.35
is several times
through the night,
00:19:13.38\00:19:14.85
you know, I'll wake up
for some reason or whatever
00:19:14.88\00:19:17.49
and I still find
myself talking with Jesus
00:19:17.52\00:19:19.59
and I've even told Him.
00:19:19.62\00:19:20.96
I say, Lord, if I never have
00:19:20.99\00:19:22.86
another
relationship again I'm okay.
00:19:22.89\00:19:25.36
If I don't have
someone to hold me,
00:19:25.39\00:19:27.20
if I don't have someone
special in my life again
00:19:27.23\00:19:29.60
I'll be all right
as long as I have You.
00:19:29.63\00:19:32.13
And that's been a
sustaining strength for me.
00:19:32.17\00:19:36.44
But what's even more awesome
00:19:36.47\00:19:38.27
is that there are
times in my sleep...
00:19:38.31\00:19:40.98
There was one
night that I had woken up
00:19:41.01\00:19:43.81
and it was about 3
o'clock in the morning
00:19:43.85\00:19:45.55
and there was an
image of a woman in my mind
00:19:45.58\00:19:48.15
and her name came to me.
00:19:48.18\00:19:49.88
And I'm laying
there and I'm thinking
00:19:49.92\00:19:51.35
why am I awake at
2:30 in the morning?
00:19:51.39\00:19:53.79
Why is this woman's face,
00:19:53.82\00:19:55.22
you know, why can't I see
her exact face and her name?
00:19:55.26\00:19:59.16
And I started
dialoguing with God.
00:19:59.19\00:20:00.53
I said, Lord, do you
need me to pray for her?
00:20:00.56\00:20:02.93
Does she need
someone to pray for her?
00:20:02.96\00:20:04.87
It wasn't anyone I knew.
00:20:04.90\00:20:06.23
It wasn't anyone that
I had ever met before.
00:20:06.27\00:20:08.97
And as I laid
there I just thought,
00:20:09.00\00:20:10.67
well, it wouldn't hurt
to pray for her anyway.
00:20:10.71\00:20:12.64
And for 20
minutes I just prayed.
00:20:12.67\00:20:14.24
Lord, you know what the issue
is, You know what she needs.
00:20:14.28\00:20:16.75
And then of course after
about 20 minutes of praying
00:20:16.78\00:20:19.11
for this woman, I fell asleep.
00:20:19.15\00:20:20.72
And the next morning I woke up,
00:20:20.75\00:20:22.08
I couldn't
remember what she look like,
00:20:22.12\00:20:23.45
I couldn't remember
her name or anything else,
00:20:23.49\00:20:25.35
but I felt very confident
that God had enlisted me
00:20:25.39\00:20:28.26
to pray for this woman
who needed help at that time.
00:20:28.29\00:20:30.46
And that's amazing. Yes.
00:20:30.49\00:20:31.83
And so God gives me
these beautiful meditations
00:20:31.86\00:20:35.26
and you know, sometimes
the meditations are simple as,
00:20:35.30\00:20:40.04
you know, Ellen
White talks about,
00:20:40.07\00:20:42.50
you know, how we should spend
a thoughtful hour every day
00:20:42.54\00:20:45.01
contemplating about the cross.
00:20:45.04\00:20:46.71
And so I'll ask,
after my devotions
00:20:46.74\00:20:48.58
I'll say, Lord, I'm
gonna open up my mind
00:20:48.61\00:20:50.68
to receive
anything that, you know,
00:20:50.71\00:20:52.11
that You want to
communicate to me
00:20:52.15\00:20:53.48
because most of the
time I do all the talking.
00:20:53.52\00:20:55.78
You know, so I'll
tell God what I need.
00:20:55.82\00:20:57.52
I'll tell Him what's
going on and I'll tell Him
00:20:57.55\00:20:59.79
you know, that He has to
help me in all this stuff.
00:20:59.82\00:21:01.66
And so I thought,
well, a two way conversation,
00:21:01.69\00:21:04.19
you know, gives the other
person an opportunity to speak.
00:21:04.23\00:21:06.33
You have to let God get a word
00:21:06.36\00:21:07.86
in X Y's once in a while, right?
00:21:07.90\00:21:09.23
That's right. That's right.
00:21:09.26\00:21:10.60
That's a private
joke. Yeah. So anyway...
00:21:10.63\00:21:12.50
But we're serious. Yes.
00:21:12.53\00:21:14.24
So as I was, as I
was asking for the Lord
00:21:14.27\00:21:18.11
to just kind of give
me insights or whatever.
00:21:18.14\00:21:20.31
I was thinking about the cross,
00:21:20.34\00:21:21.74
my mind kept
running to my nephew
00:21:21.78\00:21:23.65
who is about six years old
00:21:23.68\00:21:25.01
and he was just
running through a field
00:21:25.05\00:21:26.38
and I could see the wind,
you know, blowing his hair.
00:21:26.41\00:21:28.68
And I said, oh, I'm
sorry, Lord, I got distracted.
00:21:28.72\00:21:30.85
Three times I
went back to my nephew
00:21:30.89\00:21:32.99
just running up this hill
and again I would apologize
00:21:33.02\00:21:36.26
and say, Lord, I'm
coming back, you know,
00:21:36.29\00:21:38.49
and I would try to think about,
00:21:38.53\00:21:39.86
you know, the
scenes of the cross.
00:21:39.89\00:21:41.23
And then finally
I just let it roll,
00:21:41.26\00:21:43.03
I saw my nephew
running through this field,
00:21:43.06\00:21:45.53
kind of like sound of music,
00:21:45.57\00:21:47.14
you know, up this beautiful hill
00:21:47.17\00:21:48.50
and the sky is blue
and the grass is green.
00:21:48.54\00:21:51.31
And what he did is my nephew
with his big smile on his face
00:21:51.34\00:21:54.64
ran into the arms of
Jesus and I could see Jesus
00:21:54.68\00:21:57.48
just kind of pick him
up and throwing around
00:21:57.51\00:21:58.85
and I realized that, that was
00:21:58.88\00:22:00.92
something that God
was trying to give me.
00:22:00.95\00:22:02.65
And I get those all the
time and again maybe it's,
00:22:02.68\00:22:05.79
you know,
because I'm a hairdresser
00:22:05.82\00:22:07.46
and I'm just so
far out of there,
00:22:07.49\00:22:08.82
but He really does affirm
me in meditation and in dreams.
00:22:08.86\00:22:12.59
And so I recognize that this
was demonic warfare going on.
00:22:12.63\00:22:16.36
Well, this leads me
to another question.
00:22:16.40\00:22:18.00
I'm really curious about this
00:22:18.03\00:22:19.53
because you pray
before you go to sleep
00:22:19.57\00:22:22.57
that the Lord will protect
you, give you good thoughts
00:22:22.60\00:22:25.17
and hold back
the forces of evil--
00:22:25.21\00:22:27.54
You've been
awaken during the night.
00:22:27.58\00:22:28.91
But, Ron, that wasn't enough.
00:22:28.94\00:22:30.55
I couldn't just ask Him to
give me a good night sleep,
00:22:30.58\00:22:33.21
that wasn't enough.
00:22:33.25\00:22:34.58
I had to be
specific and I had to ask him
00:22:34.62\00:22:36.99
to reveal to me
anything that I might have,
00:22:37.02\00:22:40.32
have looked at or indulged in
00:22:40.36\00:22:43.66
that would allow Satan
a foothold in my dreams.
00:22:43.69\00:22:45.33
So I really want to specify
00:22:45.36\00:22:47.36
that this was a specific prayer.
00:22:47.40\00:22:49.23
Right. Very specific.
00:22:49.26\00:22:50.60
But then also during the night
sometimes you would be awakened
00:22:50.63\00:22:53.23
and inspired to
pray for someone.
00:22:53.27\00:22:55.40
Yeah. But my question is this.
00:22:55.44\00:22:57.84
During the night
when you're having some,
00:22:57.87\00:22:59.97
when you were
having some of these dreams
00:23:00.01\00:23:02.64
brought on by Satan himself.
00:23:02.68\00:23:05.38
Did you ever...
00:23:05.41\00:23:06.75
In the dream itself
reach out to the Lord
00:23:06.78\00:23:09.28
and pray for
deliverance and for help?
00:23:09.32\00:23:11.42
I'm real curious about that?
00:23:11.45\00:23:12.82
Yes.
00:23:12.85\00:23:14.19
As a matter of
fact, I came face to face
00:23:14.22\00:23:16.32
with Satan himself one night.
00:23:16.36\00:23:19.03
It was a dream that opened up
and again I was so steeped in,
00:23:19.06\00:23:24.23
you know, sexual
activity in my 20s and 30s.
00:23:24.27\00:23:27.64
And so in the dream,
I'm in a illicit situation
00:23:27.67\00:23:30.81
and I had the
wherewithal to turn it away.
00:23:30.84\00:23:34.58
And so as I'm coming
through this room in this dream,
00:23:34.61\00:23:37.51
there's a man who is
laying on this mattress
00:23:37.55\00:23:41.28
and all I want
is out of the room.
00:23:41.32\00:23:42.65
And the man was
not attractive to me,
00:23:42.68\00:23:44.69
but as he started engaging
in a conversation I felt safe
00:23:44.72\00:23:47.79
because I
wasn't attracted to him
00:23:47.82\00:23:49.16
that I started
this conversation.
00:23:49.19\00:23:50.93
So what happens
is, as he's talking
00:23:50.96\00:23:52.69
he comes towards me
00:23:52.73\00:23:54.30
and he's kind of blocking my way
00:23:54.33\00:23:55.66
from getting out of the door.
00:23:55.70\00:23:57.03
And again,
remember this is a dream
00:23:57.07\00:23:58.40
but as he came closer
and closer it was like,
00:23:58.43\00:24:02.07
you know, I could see
his face and I could see his,
00:24:02.10\00:24:04.61
you know, skin and he started
00:24:04.64\00:24:06.68
to wear down my defenses.
00:24:06.71\00:24:08.41
And as he got really close,
00:24:08.44\00:24:10.15
I knew that it was about to get,
00:24:10.18\00:24:11.61
you know, intimate
and as he was about
00:24:11.65\00:24:14.22
two inches from my
face, I came to my senses
00:24:14.25\00:24:16.58
and I said, no,
I don't want this.
00:24:16.62\00:24:19.12
And instantly that
beautiful face of that person
00:24:19.15\00:24:23.09
turned into Satan himself
with absolute disgust for me.
00:24:23.12\00:24:27.10
And having that two
inches from your face
00:24:27.13\00:24:29.26
and to see the
face of Satan himself,
00:24:29.30\00:24:32.27
absolutely bent
on my destruction.
00:24:32.30\00:24:35.47
I woke up of course in a sweat
00:24:35.50\00:24:37.11
and realized that I was
actually coming face to face
00:24:37.14\00:24:40.01
with Satan himself in my dreams.
00:24:40.04\00:24:41.74
One other dream that I
had is one night in my dream,
00:24:41.78\00:24:46.01
all of a sudden
I couldn't breath
00:24:46.05\00:24:47.62
as I'm dreaming, you know,
in my dream I couldn't inhale,
00:24:47.65\00:24:50.89
I couldn't exhale, there
was a tightness around my chest
00:24:50.92\00:24:53.56
from the inside and the out.
00:24:53.59\00:24:55.29
And instantly of
course, it woke me up.
00:24:55.32\00:24:57.26
And as I'm awake
now I realized that,
00:24:57.29\00:24:59.59
that was my
conscious, that was my reality
00:24:59.63\00:25:02.06
that I couldn't
take a breath in or not.
00:25:02.10\00:25:04.27
And I instantly remembered
to call on, on my Savior,
00:25:04.30\00:25:07.84
but his name
wouldn't come into my mind.
00:25:07.87\00:25:10.01
Satan was even blocking his
name from coming in my mind.
00:25:10.04\00:25:12.77
And as I'm laying
there in panic thinking
00:25:12.81\00:25:15.04
if I can't remember Jesus' name,
00:25:15.08\00:25:16.48
how's He gonna help me?
00:25:16.51\00:25:17.85
And all I
remember was the demoniac
00:25:17.88\00:25:20.05
who couldn't even speak
Jesus name or his own words.
00:25:20.08\00:25:23.02
And all I did is in
my subconscious I said,
00:25:23.05\00:25:24.89
Lord, you know who you are.
00:25:24.92\00:25:26.72
I can't remember
your name, save me.
00:25:26.76\00:25:28.72
And instantly the
pressure was off my chest,
00:25:28.76\00:25:31.49
I was able to breathe naturally
00:25:31.53\00:25:33.40
and the beautiful name of
Jesus came right into my mind
00:25:33.43\00:25:36.16
and I laid there
and sang every song
00:25:36.20\00:25:38.80
that I could think of
that had Jesus name in it
00:25:38.83\00:25:41.24
until I fell asleep again.
00:25:41.27\00:25:42.84
Well, that's really powerful.
00:25:42.87\00:25:44.21
It's amazing that we
can reach out to Jesus
00:25:44.24\00:25:47.04
even in our dreams.
00:25:47.08\00:25:48.61
He is not willing
that any should perish.
00:25:48.64\00:25:50.51
But what I'm
seeing from this is,
00:25:50.55\00:25:52.55
Satan is not willing
that any should be saved.
00:25:52.58\00:25:55.15
Satan is hell-bent
upon keeping the homo saps,
00:25:55.18\00:25:59.59
the homosexual in his grasp.
00:25:59.62\00:26:02.86
I know I was almost
killed in the process
00:26:02.89\00:26:04.86
of coming out of
that, that lifestyle myself.
00:26:04.89\00:26:07.56
So I know personally like you,
00:26:07.60\00:26:09.76
Satan will do anything
to keep us in his grasp.
00:26:09.80\00:26:13.97
He doesn't, if he can't
keep us there by allurement,
00:26:14.00\00:26:17.81
by enticement, by deception,
00:26:17.84\00:26:21.41
by winning us to
him in these ways,
00:26:21.44\00:26:24.65
then he will turn to
violence or invasive dreams,
00:26:24.68\00:26:28.68
you know, such as we're
talking about here today.
00:26:28.72\00:26:33.05
In a nutshell because
we just have a moment left.
00:26:33.09\00:26:36.09
Can you just give
us two or three points
00:26:36.12\00:26:38.33
on how we can keep
Satan out of our dreams?
00:26:38.36\00:26:42.13
It will be like a
recap. Sure. Absolutely.
00:26:42.16\00:26:45.00
To take stock and take inventory
00:26:45.03\00:26:47.44
of the events that
have happened during the day
00:26:47.47\00:26:49.77
and to ask the Holy Spirit
to come in and convict you
00:26:49.80\00:26:53.07
and to show you
literally the things
00:26:53.11\00:26:56.04
that need to be
surrendered at the cross.
00:26:56.08\00:26:57.91
And as you do that,
definitely learn the intimacy
00:26:57.95\00:27:02.12
that Jesus wants to
have with each one of us.
00:27:02.15\00:27:04.19
Learn to tell Him about
the nuances of your day.
00:27:04.22\00:27:06.62
He cares about the little things
00:27:06.65\00:27:08.16
and as well as the big in.
00:27:08.19\00:27:09.59
So as I learned to
enjoy the intimacy of Jesus,
00:27:09.62\00:27:14.70
you know, the beauty is that
00:27:14.73\00:27:16.06
He can make hays
more and more with us.
00:27:16.10\00:27:17.77
Amen.
00:27:17.80\00:27:19.13
We truly are involved
daily in spiritual warfare.
00:27:19.17\00:27:23.37
The forces of evil
working on us and in us,
00:27:23.41\00:27:27.78
the forces of God
working in us and for us.
00:27:27.81\00:27:31.05
There is a battle for the soul.
00:27:31.08\00:27:33.65
There is, God
out of love for us,
00:27:33.68\00:27:36.58
wanting us for all eternity
00:27:36.62\00:27:38.25
and Satan out of hatred for God.
00:27:38.29\00:27:41.19
He doesn't want us
because he loves us.
00:27:41.22\00:27:43.29
He wants us
because he hates God.
00:27:43.32\00:27:46.43
We want to thank you
00:27:46.46\00:27:47.80
for joining us
today on Pure Choices.
00:27:47.83\00:27:50.97
And may God help you
everyday make pure choices.
00:27:51.00\00:27:55.67