The following program discusses sensitive issues. 00:00:01.36\00:00:03.43 Parents are cautioned that some material 00:00:03.47\00:00:05.20 may be too candid for younger children. 00:00:05.23\00:00:08.10 Hi, I'm Mike Carducci with Coming Out Ministries, 00:00:41.90\00:00:44.91 your host today on "Pure Choices." 00:00:44.94\00:00:47.08 I have with me my guest Elder Raymond King 00:00:47.11\00:00:49.88 of Securing Hope Ministry. 00:00:49.91\00:00:51.71 Welcome Elder King. Thanks for having me. 00:00:51.75\00:00:53.65 My pleasure. 00:00:53.68\00:00:55.02 One in the issues that I remember definitely 00:00:55.05\00:00:57.89 when I was in the gay lifestyle which has been my history 00:00:57.92\00:01:01.26 is I knew that there weren't many masculine 00:01:01.29\00:01:05.96 African-American homosexuals 00:01:05.99\00:01:07.96 and I remember that being interesting to me 00:01:08.00\00:01:10.27 that they usually, the only, 00:01:10.30\00:01:13.10 you know, young African-American men 00:01:13.13\00:01:15.94 that we saw were very feminine. 00:01:15.97\00:01:18.61 And I remember it being kind of curious 00:01:18.64\00:01:20.41 to my mind like where were they, 00:01:20.44\00:01:22.04 you know, like where was that populist 00:01:22.08\00:01:23.95 and it wasn't until actually 00:01:23.98\00:01:25.51 after I come out of the gay lifestyle 00:01:25.55\00:01:27.85 and into ministry that I recognize that there's this, 00:01:27.88\00:01:31.39 this movement or whatever called, 00:01:31.42\00:01:34.92 the down low culture. 00:01:34.96\00:01:36.46 And so, Elder King, 00:01:36.49\00:01:37.83 you specialize in this area from your research 00:01:37.86\00:01:41.70 and I wonder would you tell us a little bit, 00:01:41.73\00:01:43.77 what's the definition of down low culture 00:01:43.80\00:01:45.53 and how does that relate 00:01:45.57\00:01:46.90 to the African-American community? 00:01:46.94\00:01:48.94 Well, the term down low 00:01:48.97\00:01:50.31 basically is what we identify men 00:01:50.34\00:01:56.14 who tend to be heterosexual but really are homosexual. 00:01:56.18\00:02:03.55 They're individuals that in the sense are married, 00:02:03.59\00:02:08.16 they have families, they have the facade 00:02:08.19\00:02:13.36 of being again macho, he-man type of individuals, 00:02:13.40\00:02:20.60 but in reality they sneak around 00:02:20.64\00:02:23.84 and they are involved in homosexual activity. 00:02:23.87\00:02:27.74 So, we called the down low because it is secretive. 00:02:27.78\00:02:32.81 It is so secretive that in many instances, 00:02:32.85\00:02:36.45 the wife or the girlfriend of these individuals 00:02:36.48\00:02:40.52 have no idea that these men have this secret sex life. 00:02:40.56\00:02:46.83 I would also say that in many instances 00:02:46.86\00:02:49.96 we can associate this term with men, 00:02:50.00\00:02:55.30 but more and more the women also now, 00:02:55.34\00:02:58.84 who had this type of façade that they are pretending. 00:02:58.87\00:03:05.55 So the down low can be both men and women 00:03:05.58\00:03:08.68 even though in most instances, we are referring to men. 00:03:08.72\00:03:13.86 Okay, and because you're not a homosexual 00:03:13.89\00:03:17.13 that come from that past, 00:03:17.16\00:03:18.99 something happened in your life that brought this issue 00:03:19.03\00:03:22.80 to a very personal aspect for you. 00:03:22.83\00:03:25.47 Could you elaborate on that for us? 00:03:25.50\00:03:27.10 Yes, in the book that I wrote dealing with this, 00:03:27.14\00:03:32.17 I'll talk about my brother 00:03:32.21\00:03:33.74 who unfortunately was also involved in this culture. 00:03:33.78\00:03:40.72 I found out about this, about a month before he died 00:03:40.75\00:03:45.29 or he actually went out committing suicide. 00:03:45.32\00:03:48.42 Well, though unfortunate about this whole scenario 00:03:48.46\00:03:51.06 however was the fact that, 00:03:51.09\00:03:52.96 I found out that he also was molested 00:03:52.99\00:03:56.20 when he was the child. 00:03:56.23\00:03:57.57 But he also got connected with a religious sect 00:03:57.60\00:04:04.54 that considered this type of activity 00:04:04.57\00:04:09.24 a biblically approved activity. 00:04:09.28\00:04:15.58 I mean it's real weird 00:04:15.62\00:04:18.02 how people can take the Scriptures 00:04:18.05\00:04:20.99 and justify perversion, but, be there at the may, 00:04:21.02\00:04:24.66 he was married, he had children 00:04:24.69\00:04:26.90 but yet he was secretly involved with other males 00:04:26.93\00:04:32.83 while he was married and so even though the, 00:04:32.87\00:04:38.51 the situation was not the sole motivation for me 00:04:38.54\00:04:41.78 writing the book. 00:04:41.81\00:04:43.14 I did include that in the book because one of the things that 00:04:43.18\00:04:47.75 we must understand as the body of Christ, 00:04:47.78\00:04:50.95 God considered us to be one body. 00:04:50.99\00:04:53.92 And I tell people if I'm part of the body, 00:04:53.96\00:04:56.59 what I do effects you positively or negatively. 00:04:56.62\00:04:59.76 What you do affects me 00:04:59.79\00:05:01.30 because God said we are one body 00:05:01.33\00:05:03.53 and so be there at the may, 00:05:03.57\00:05:05.70 I submit that we have to start 00:05:05.73\00:05:09.17 to deal with reality and not cover things up, 00:05:09.20\00:05:13.91 because the more we cover things up, 00:05:13.94\00:05:16.58 the more things will fester 00:05:16.61\00:05:18.51 and we give Satan the license, 00:05:18.55\00:05:21.55 the authority and we actually, 00:05:21.58\00:05:24.22 it able him to keep destroying lives. 00:05:24.25\00:05:27.62 And so this down low thing 00:05:27.66\00:05:29.66 that I wrote about is hopefully a means 00:05:29.69\00:05:31.86 by which we can start bringing things to open. 00:05:31.89\00:05:33.26 That's right. 00:05:33.29\00:05:34.63 So, Elder King, would you agree that, 00:05:34.66\00:05:36.00 that which we keep in darkness, will eventually overcome us? 00:05:36.03\00:05:39.83 Most definitely. 00:05:39.87\00:05:41.30 As a matter of fact, Satan loves darkness. 00:05:41.34\00:05:45.51 It is the light that, 00:05:45.54\00:05:46.88 that he is shun from and what I am finding out, 00:05:46.91\00:05:52.11 the whole down low culture 00:05:52.15\00:05:54.58 is based upon deception and darkness. 00:05:54.62\00:05:56.95 Doing things under cover, 00:05:56.99\00:05:58.65 where it's not brought to the light 00:05:58.69\00:06:00.56 and because of that, there are many lives, 00:06:00.59\00:06:03.26 there are many generations 00:06:03.29\00:06:04.63 that have been adversely affected 00:06:04.66\00:06:06.19 because of men and women but primarily men 00:06:06.23\00:06:09.83 they're on the down low. 00:06:09.86\00:06:11.20 Okay, and so why is this specific 00:06:11.23\00:06:14.80 to the African-American culture? 00:06:14.84\00:06:17.37 It is not specific. 00:06:17.41\00:06:19.41 The term maybe specific but the activity is not. 00:06:19.44\00:06:22.78 The down low is experienced throughout every society, 00:06:22.81\00:06:26.45 every culture because again, I tell people, 00:06:26.48\00:06:29.22 why would Satan only attack one culture. 00:06:29.25\00:06:32.75 Satan is after entire humanity and so one thing about Satan, 00:06:32.79\00:06:36.52 he does not discriminate. 00:06:36.56\00:06:38.59 So this whole thing about down law is not just 00:06:38.63\00:06:41.80 in the African-American community 00:06:41.83\00:06:44.60 but the term as I said before is, 00:06:44.63\00:06:47.90 it's interesting when I get and talk about it 00:06:47.94\00:06:50.71 with other cultures when I say down low, 00:06:50.74\00:06:52.24 they say, "What are you talking about?" 00:06:52.27\00:06:53.61 But when I describe the activity, 00:06:53.64\00:06:55.68 "Oh, now, I know." 00:06:55.71\00:06:58.28 Wow, very interesting. 00:06:58.31\00:06:59.91 And so, what are some of the statistic 00:06:59.95\00:07:02.58 that may actually contribute to this down low culture 00:07:02.62\00:07:07.42 that we were discussing earlier? 00:07:07.46\00:07:09.66 Well, I believe again the vast majority of individuals 00:07:09.69\00:07:14.63 who found themselves in this down low culture, 00:07:14.66\00:07:17.83 the vast majority of people who found themselves 00:07:17.87\00:07:20.30 with same gender attraction, 00:07:20.34\00:07:22.70 the vast majority of people who are sexually active, 00:07:22.74\00:07:25.77 promiscuous stems from childhood sexual molestation. 00:07:25.81\00:07:29.68 Okay. 00:07:29.71\00:07:31.05 I believe that even though there are other causes, 00:07:31.08\00:07:34.82 I believe that that's the main method 00:07:34.85\00:07:38.99 that Satan is using to draw people into sexual perversion. 00:07:39.02\00:07:44.66 And when you start looking at this thing called down low, 00:07:44.69\00:07:49.16 these are individuals who have same-sex attraction, 00:07:49.20\00:07:55.44 that they're trying to keep under cover, 00:07:55.47\00:07:58.11 but because they're keeping it under cover, 00:07:58.14\00:08:01.14 there is a lot more devastation that's been experienced 00:08:01.18\00:08:06.82 even beyond their comprehension. 00:08:06.85\00:08:08.92 When you start looking at... 00:08:08.95\00:08:11.99 Our culture now 00:08:12.02\00:08:14.56 and our topic from the White House to the schoolhouse, 00:08:14.59\00:08:17.93 this kind of sexuality 00:08:17.96\00:08:20.60 is now being promoted as natural, as normal. 00:08:20.63\00:08:24.80 It is a... 00:08:24.83\00:08:26.90 It's a concept now that's being taught to our children 00:08:26.94\00:08:30.51 as early as four years old. 00:08:30.54\00:08:32.41 And when you are in a church environment 00:08:32.44\00:08:38.98 that does not embrace this, 00:08:39.01\00:08:41.42 but yet at school, in the media, 00:08:41.45\00:08:44.92 you're being drawn into it. 00:08:44.95\00:08:47.56 You start to be curious or God forbid, 00:08:47.59\00:08:51.46 you are indeed molested, you start because the flesh 00:08:51.49\00:08:55.53 now being contaminated drawn into the activity 00:08:55.56\00:08:59.23 but because of your church environment 00:08:59.27\00:09:00.90 that does not embrace it, 00:09:00.94\00:09:02.50 you start doing things again on the down low. 00:09:02.54\00:09:04.64 Okay. 00:09:04.67\00:09:06.01 One thing that it's been said in our community is, 00:09:06.04\00:09:12.08 it's because the church does not 00:09:12.11\00:09:14.88 or will not accept homosexuality 00:09:14.92\00:09:16.89 as been natural and normal, 00:09:16.92\00:09:18.45 that's forcing people to be on the down low. 00:09:18.49\00:09:22.12 that allow from hell itself 00:09:22.16\00:09:24.76 because the church can never embrace sin. 00:09:24.79\00:09:29.23 It is not the church reluctancy to embrace perversion 00:09:29.26\00:09:34.40 that's called an individual to be on the down low, 00:09:34.44\00:09:36.67 is those individual's reluctancy to have the attitude 00:09:36.71\00:09:41.08 not my will but thou will be done. 00:09:41.11\00:09:43.35 And so, we ask about the genesis of all this, 00:09:43.38\00:09:47.92 we all know is sin and it's the enemy himself, 00:09:47.95\00:09:50.69 but I believe a vast majority of this comes from 00:09:50.72\00:09:54.49 again children who are being exposed 00:09:54.52\00:09:58.43 either by the actual molestation 00:09:58.46\00:10:02.76 or even being exposed to sexual explicit material, 00:10:02.80\00:10:08.74 information when they're just young 00:10:08.77\00:10:11.87 and then comes contamination. 00:10:11.91\00:10:13.24 Okay, so what you're saying is exposure is education. 00:10:13.27\00:10:17.08 So a child that's molested at an early age, 00:10:17.11\00:10:19.81 this education if you would, even if it was in a situation 00:10:19.85\00:10:25.55 that was negative for the child, 00:10:25.59\00:10:28.46 it still is educating them in homosexual sex. 00:10:28.49\00:10:30.93 Is that right? It affirm something? 00:10:30.96\00:10:33.29 It creates curiosity. Okay. 00:10:33.33\00:10:36.10 It create a pleasurable experience for the flesh, 00:10:36.13\00:10:40.54 but again when you have that, and then on the other hand, 00:10:40.57\00:10:45.17 you have a church culture that does not affirm it, 00:10:45.21\00:10:48.98 does not embrace it, then what it does, 00:10:49.01\00:10:51.35 it makes people say, well, I'm gonna do it, 00:10:51.38\00:10:54.68 but I will do it on the down low. 00:10:54.72\00:10:56.25 I'm gonna do where people are not aware of it. 00:10:56.28\00:10:59.42 The fallacy again of this whole thing called down low 00:10:59.45\00:11:03.16 is really our reluctance at the church 00:11:03.19\00:11:07.70 to again address the whole issue of sexuality period. 00:11:07.73\00:11:11.63 Let alone the issue dealing with homosexuality. 00:11:11.67\00:11:14.67 Okay, and so what I wanted to look at now 00:11:14.70\00:11:16.67 is how that affects the family unit? 00:11:16.71\00:11:18.24 Okay. 00:11:18.27\00:11:19.61 In a down low situation where, 00:11:19.64\00:11:21.58 you know, let's say that the father is stepping out 00:11:21.61\00:11:23.78 and practicing the down low? 00:11:23.81\00:11:26.45 How does that affect the mother, the wife? 00:11:26.48\00:11:30.19 Very good question because in the book 00:11:30.22\00:11:32.95 I have a chapter called collateral damage. 00:11:32.99\00:11:36.32 Imagine a male or husband 00:11:36.36\00:11:41.90 who is dividing his sexual intension 00:11:41.93\00:11:46.30 between a wife and other man. 00:11:46.33\00:11:50.14 The Bible said, you can serve two masters. 00:11:50.17\00:11:52.67 You won't leave, you won't worship one and leave alone. 00:11:52.71\00:11:55.24 And so what happens is obviously the sexual intimacy 00:11:55.28\00:12:00.15 that should be only shared with the wife 00:12:00.18\00:12:03.85 is no longer shared with the wife. 00:12:03.89\00:12:05.69 And so you have a decrease in sexual activity 00:12:05.72\00:12:09.79 between husband and wife, or you have a cessation of it, 00:12:09.82\00:12:13.96 you know, completely to the point where 00:12:14.00\00:12:18.60 that start to destroy the confidence 00:12:18.63\00:12:20.87 of the wife in a husband. 00:12:20.90\00:12:22.24 Yes. 00:12:22.27\00:12:23.61 She starts thinking about her self-esteem 00:12:23.64\00:12:25.57 now is being adversely affected and when the intimacy 00:12:25.61\00:12:29.81 between husband and wife is not how it should be, 00:12:29.84\00:12:32.78 it adversely affects the entire home. 00:12:32.81\00:12:35.98 One big issue however is the fact that 00:12:36.02\00:12:40.69 like in the African-American community, 00:12:40.72\00:12:44.59 African-American females 00:12:44.63\00:12:45.96 have the highest rate of HIV infection. 00:12:45.99\00:12:48.46 You say, well, how can that be? 00:12:48.50\00:12:49.96 Because a lot of them are dating men on the down low. 00:12:50.00\00:12:53.47 And since we know that the homosexual community, 00:12:53.50\00:12:56.71 especially the male segment 00:12:56.74\00:12:58.11 of homosexual community has the highest rate 00:12:58.14\00:13:00.94 of HIV infection of any segment in our culture, 00:13:00.98\00:13:04.01 when individuals are exposing themselves 00:13:04.05\00:13:06.72 to that culture 00:13:06.75\00:13:08.08 and then they bring it to their wife, 00:13:08.12\00:13:09.98 then that is a very serious exposure 00:13:10.02\00:13:13.89 to number one diseases that can kill her. 00:13:13.92\00:13:17.03 But this thing about the spiritual component 00:13:17.06\00:13:20.93 is that culture is inundated with spiritual perversion 00:13:20.96\00:13:26.07 and the Bible does say two become one. 00:13:26.10\00:13:28.24 What happens when the husband now 00:13:28.27\00:13:31.41 exposed himself to spiritual issues that 00:13:31.44\00:13:36.98 now can be brought into the home 00:13:37.01\00:13:39.18 and then when he and his wife become one, 00:13:39.21\00:13:41.58 what has adversely affected him from that down low culture 00:13:41.62\00:13:45.52 is now adversely affecting the wife. 00:13:45.55\00:13:47.76 And if it affects the wife, 00:13:47.79\00:13:49.26 it can now also affects the children 00:13:49.29\00:13:50.83 and so there's a lot of possibilities 00:13:50.86\00:13:54.16 and a lot of adverse consequences 00:13:54.20\00:13:59.00 that a family can and does experience 00:13:59.03\00:14:02.07 because of husband on the down low. 00:14:02.10\00:14:04.04 Many, many families now have been broken up, 00:14:04.07\00:14:09.38 because once the wife finds out, 00:14:09.41\00:14:12.35 I mean how can she now have faith in a husband 00:14:12.38\00:14:17.05 that had exposed her and the children 00:14:17.09\00:14:20.06 to all of these negative consequences. 00:14:20.09\00:14:23.59 But because of the male selfish, 00:14:23.63\00:14:27.66 sexual desires, it now has adversely affect the family, 00:14:27.70\00:14:31.97 you know in many ways. 00:14:32.00\00:14:33.34 It's not only the family now, how about generations... 00:14:33.37\00:14:37.11 I submit that again the sexual sins 00:14:37.14\00:14:39.64 of the parents will affect the children 00:14:39.67\00:14:42.41 and if God didn't break that cycle, 00:14:42.44\00:14:44.51 it now become the generational curse. 00:14:44.55\00:14:46.08 Okay, so what I want to do is kind of add that to, 00:14:46.11\00:14:50.12 you have a situation now 00:14:50.15\00:14:51.49 where the man is stepping out or somebody stepping out 00:14:51.52\00:14:54.29 and what happens is the partner 00:14:54.32\00:14:56.76 that's at home doesn't even know 00:14:56.79\00:14:58.89 what's going on, on the outside. 00:14:58.93\00:15:00.40 However when that man steps out 00:15:00.43\00:15:02.43 and engages in sex outside marriage, 00:15:02.46\00:15:05.17 there are demons involved, am I right? 00:15:05.20\00:15:06.53 Yes, yes. 00:15:06.57\00:15:07.90 And those demons now have access to the home, 00:15:07.94\00:15:10.21 through the wife, and through the children, am I right? 00:15:10.24\00:15:12.87 Yes. 00:15:12.91\00:15:14.24 As a matter fact what I'm thinking 00:15:14.28\00:15:15.61 of is in Testimonies on sexual behavior 00:15:15.64\00:15:18.31 and divorce and adultery, there's a specific story 00:15:18.35\00:15:21.88 where a man was asking specifically 00:15:21.92\00:15:23.82 for prayer about his illness. 00:15:23.85\00:15:25.45 He said he was sick, 00:15:25.49\00:15:26.82 his wife was sick and his family was sick. 00:15:26.86\00:15:28.72 And basically he was denied prayer at that time 00:15:28.76\00:15:32.06 and said come back in the morning 00:15:32.09\00:15:33.76 and will pray for you, right. 00:15:33.80\00:15:35.23 So that night while this person was in prayer 00:15:35.26\00:15:39.23 about the situation with this man, 00:15:39.27\00:15:41.27 the Lord revealed to her 00:15:41.30\00:15:43.24 that he was actually engaging in... 00:15:43.27\00:15:46.54 Sexual perversion. 00:15:46.57\00:15:47.91 Sex out side, that's right sexual perversion. 00:15:47.94\00:15:49.28 And so the next morning when a man showed up, 00:15:49.31\00:15:51.41 she confirmed that what she had witnessed 00:15:51.45\00:15:53.72 the night before to this man. 00:15:53.75\00:15:55.08 He admitted it and she says in that, 00:15:55.12\00:15:57.85 that your problem, 00:15:57.89\00:15:59.29 your issue with this has been a problem for a long time 00:15:59.32\00:16:02.26 even before you were married 00:16:02.29\00:16:03.69 and she said that the reason why you're sick 00:16:03.73\00:16:05.49 and all of your family is sick is because you've indulge 00:16:05.53\00:16:07.93 this sexual deviant behavior 00:16:07.96\00:16:10.37 and she said even the death of your child 00:16:10.40\00:16:12.60 was a result of this action. 00:16:12.63\00:16:14.74 And said that if the Lord were to grant you 00:16:14.77\00:16:16.64 more life force to heal you, 00:16:16.67\00:16:18.57 you would only squander it on the sexual perversion. 00:16:18.61\00:16:20.88 What's amazing is, 00:16:20.91\00:16:22.61 I started to see that there is a demonic component here 00:16:22.64\00:16:25.81 to when we act out sexually. 00:16:25.85\00:16:28.15 Any insights on that? 00:16:28.18\00:16:29.72 There's a quote that I want to read to you again 00:16:29.75\00:16:35.56 from one of my favorite authors 00:16:35.59\00:16:37.03 and they say that, 00:16:37.06\00:16:38.39 "Satanic agencies were incorporated with men. 00:16:38.43\00:16:41.70 The bodies of human beings, 00:16:41.73\00:16:43.06 made for the dwelling place of God, 00:16:43.10\00:16:45.07 had become the habitation of demons. 00:16:45.10\00:16:47.54 The senses, the nerves, the passions, 00:16:47.57\00:16:50.87 the organs of men, were worked on by supernatural agencies 00:16:50.91\00:16:54.94 in the indulgence of the vilest lust." 00:16:54.98\00:16:57.95 I submit that if a individual submit him 00:16:57.98\00:17:01.42 or herself to that type of demonic infestation, 00:17:01.45\00:17:05.69 when they bring it into the home 00:17:05.72\00:17:07.92 and they again have intimate relationship 00:17:07.96\00:17:10.59 with the husband and wife, two become one. 00:17:10.63\00:17:14.40 And you can't, you must understand that, 00:17:14.43\00:17:17.17 that's when the same demonic influences 00:17:17.20\00:17:19.77 that are affecting the person who is doing wrong 00:17:19.80\00:17:22.24 is gonna affect the innocent one as well, 00:17:22.27\00:17:24.21 because two become one. 00:17:24.24\00:17:27.21 The down low culture is one. 00:17:27.24\00:17:30.48 In my opinion, is the most deceptive, 00:17:30.51\00:17:35.42 the most dangerous practice in any home, 00:17:35.45\00:17:40.09 because there are people who are innocent, 00:17:40.12\00:17:43.93 that are not aware of the dangers 00:17:43.96\00:17:46.33 that the guilty party is exposing them too. 00:17:46.36\00:17:49.56 And you must understand that 00:17:49.60\00:17:52.03 Satan is gonna keep drawing on that person's nerves 00:17:52.07\00:17:55.24 and their passions and it gets deeper 00:17:55.27\00:17:58.27 and deeper and more sinister 00:17:58.31\00:18:00.68 and more the base and there is no limit. 00:18:00.71\00:18:04.65 So what we must understand is, again we must deal with this, 00:18:04.68\00:18:09.45 not only from a minister standpoint, 00:18:09.48\00:18:12.45 but I submit that we need to make both our male 00:18:12.49\00:18:17.36 and female, children, young adults 00:18:17.39\00:18:20.30 especially women aware that this thing is out there. 00:18:20.33\00:18:27.20 Sometimes a female can be so concern about being married 00:18:27.24\00:18:33.74 that she may settle for something 00:18:33.78\00:18:36.51 that God didn't bring. 00:18:36.54\00:18:38.05 Okay, so I want to talk about that. 00:18:38.08\00:18:40.02 What's that statistic 00:18:40.05\00:18:41.38 that you were telling me earlier 00:18:41.42\00:18:42.75 that how many men are there to every woman? 00:18:42.78\00:18:46.92 For the African-American community... 00:18:46.96\00:18:49.79 There are 1.8 million more African-American female 00:18:49.82\00:18:54.06 than are African-American males. 00:18:54.10\00:18:55.43 Okay. 00:18:55.46\00:18:56.80 And so, when you start taking that dynamic 00:18:56.83\00:18:59.53 and then understand in that pool 00:18:59.57\00:19:01.50 of African-American males, you've got some who're in jail. 00:19:01.54\00:19:05.44 You've got some who are may not have education. 00:19:05.47\00:19:10.88 You got some who are involved with open homosexual activity, 00:19:10.91\00:19:16.58 we have those on the down low. 00:19:16.62\00:19:18.69 So, and of course I believe that there's only one blood 00:19:18.72\00:19:23.22 and one race, but you must understand 00:19:23.26\00:19:25.83 that there are lot of African-American females 00:19:25.86\00:19:27.96 who are looking for African-American male 00:19:28.00\00:19:30.13 and they are prone to pick somebody 00:19:30.17\00:19:35.07 who may look good, who may smell good, 00:19:35.10\00:19:37.74 who may sound good, did not feminine 00:19:37.77\00:19:40.01 as you said earlier, they are macho 00:19:40.04\00:19:42.84 and people need to understand that a lot of guys who above, 00:19:42.88\00:19:49.52 a lot of guys who are he-man from the exterior presentation 00:19:49.55\00:19:54.52 are actually on the down low. 00:19:54.56\00:19:56.62 They're why so danger 00:19:56.66\00:19:57.99 because there are very little sand of symptoms 00:19:58.03\00:20:02.33 that will in the case somebody 00:20:02.36\00:20:04.27 being actively involved in that activity. 00:20:04.30\00:20:06.80 So, I really want to take this 00:20:06.84\00:20:08.17 to the women's perspective again. 00:20:08.20\00:20:10.11 If a woman suspects that her husband 00:20:10.14\00:20:12.07 even if she doesn't think it's down low, 00:20:12.11\00:20:13.61 like I have a hard time understanding that 00:20:13.64\00:20:16.85 that it's one thing we know that men 00:20:16.88\00:20:18.98 of all races step out on their wives. 00:20:19.01\00:20:21.28 And I think that a wife can tell 00:20:21.32\00:20:23.15 basically when her husband is cheating 00:20:23.18\00:20:24.79 because of the lack of intimacy or the change in the intimacy. 00:20:24.82\00:20:28.19 So if a woman suspects that her man may be stepping out, 00:20:28.22\00:20:31.99 is there a compromise that you know, 00:20:32.03\00:20:34.16 maybe he's a provider, the fact that what 24% 00:20:34.20\00:20:38.33 of African-American people are married. 00:20:38.37\00:20:41.50 So it's a very low rate, 00:20:41.54\00:20:42.87 is it possible that even if they suspect something 00:20:42.90\00:20:46.04 that they don't want to change their status 00:20:46.07\00:20:49.24 for fear that they would not be married or whatever. 00:20:49.28\00:20:51.91 And then I want to talk about the huge effect 00:20:51.95\00:20:54.95 that that can have on a woman staying in that situation 00:20:54.98\00:20:58.02 and then how can she get out? 00:20:58.05\00:20:59.75 It's interesting not only do women 00:20:59.79\00:21:04.79 tend to settle for second best, 00:21:04.83\00:21:07.53 when it comes to intimacy aspect. 00:21:07.56\00:21:11.10 But you allow them to stay in a relationship 00:21:11.13\00:21:12.97 when they're battered, 00:21:13.00\00:21:14.40 because they feel like this is the best I can do. 00:21:14.44\00:21:16.04 Right. 00:21:16.07\00:21:17.41 Again as Christians, we must understand 00:21:17.44\00:21:20.28 that God can provide for you, who you need, when you need it. 00:21:20.31\00:21:25.55 Right. 00:21:25.58\00:21:26.92 A lot of problems it may be the female 00:21:26.95\00:21:29.75 do not have the trust in the Lord. 00:21:29.78\00:21:32.22 They feel like, well, this is the best I can do, 00:21:32.25\00:21:34.69 but I want to say this with all honesty 00:21:34.72\00:21:37.93 and all confidence God haven't called anybody 00:21:37.96\00:21:41.20 to be battered and to be bruised 00:21:41.23\00:21:42.63 and to be exposed to demonic influence, 00:21:42.66\00:21:44.67 it's definitely not what God has called people to do. 00:21:44.70\00:21:47.00 God has called people to live holy and to be whole. 00:21:47.04\00:21:50.74 Exactly, I totally understand now that, 00:21:50.77\00:21:53.27 that any woman was living in a situation 00:21:53.31\00:21:55.51 where she may suspect something's going on 00:21:55.54\00:21:57.88 but you know what we have, 00:21:57.91\00:21:59.68 we really want to emphasize that her security, 00:21:59.71\00:22:03.22 the one that provides for her is our Heavenly Father. 00:22:03.25\00:22:06.02 So really the only option, the only viable option 00:22:06.05\00:22:08.76 that I see is that, if she brings it to the Lord 00:22:08.79\00:22:13.13 not only can she be, he reveal that to her 00:22:13.16\00:22:16.06 what's going on in her marriage, 00:22:16.10\00:22:17.47 but also give her counsel, comfort, protection 00:22:17.50\00:22:21.64 and one of the other aspect that I want to talk about 00:22:21.67\00:22:24.44 and I certainly don't want to leave out 00:22:24.47\00:22:25.81 is you know as a redeemed person 00:22:25.84\00:22:29.08 coming out of homosexuality myself, 00:22:29.11\00:22:31.61 what is the redemptive part for the man 00:22:31.65\00:22:34.08 whose on the down low. 00:22:34.12\00:22:36.05 You know, it's very important question 00:22:36.08\00:22:37.72 because God honors marriage 00:22:37.75\00:22:40.72 and I believe that with the prayer of the wife 00:22:40.76\00:22:44.49 and honesty of the husband, God can turn that around. 00:22:44.53\00:22:48.50 The key is there has to be a curtain on a wife's part 00:22:48.53\00:22:56.37 to put a foot down and said you know 00:22:56.40\00:22:58.17 we can get to the bottom of this 00:22:58.21\00:23:00.28 and also about their willingness of her 00:23:00.31\00:23:03.88 to hear his story. 00:23:03.91\00:23:05.65 Suppose that gentleman was molested 00:23:05.68\00:23:08.38 that the whole lot of things 00:23:08.42\00:23:09.75 that can be behind this, but the bottom line 00:23:09.78\00:23:11.75 is just like people didn't want any other type of sin, 00:23:11.79\00:23:18.86 God can take you where you are 00:23:18.89\00:23:21.56 and He can change you. 00:23:21.60\00:23:22.93 He give you a new nature, a new desire 00:23:22.96\00:23:26.20 because God honors a marriage, 00:23:26.23\00:23:28.77 I believe that if the husband and wife both on a God, 00:23:28.80\00:23:32.37 even in their sinfulness and they put God first, 00:23:32.41\00:23:36.11 God can take that what Satan has corrupted 00:23:36.14\00:23:38.88 and He can make it whole. 00:23:38.91\00:23:40.42 So, give me now some inside then, 00:23:40.45\00:23:43.35 if let's say that someone in the down low 00:23:43.39\00:23:46.52 is watching our program right now. 00:23:46.55\00:23:48.86 What would you say to encourage this person 00:23:48.89\00:23:52.33 about the situation and to give them hope? 00:23:52.36\00:23:54.76 First of all the Bible said, if we confess our sin 00:23:54.80\00:24:00.14 and God is faithful and just to forgive us 00:24:00.17\00:24:02.77 but not only forgive us, He say He will cleanse us. 00:24:02.80\00:24:05.24 Amen. From all unrighteousness. 00:24:05.27\00:24:08.04 That person must understand that despite the condemnation 00:24:08.08\00:24:11.71 that Satan is showering on him, 00:24:11.75\00:24:15.72 despite his own self condemnation, 00:24:15.75\00:24:18.12 God says that, I can take your sins 00:24:18.15\00:24:20.99 and though they be red as crimson, 00:24:21.02\00:24:23.02 if I can make it white as snow, 00:24:23.06\00:24:24.69 God can not only change his attitude, 00:24:24.73\00:24:27.06 not only forgive him but God can take all of that, 00:24:27.10\00:24:29.83 that call to Him to act that way 00:24:29.86\00:24:32.00 and make him a new creature, that's the promise of God. 00:24:32.03\00:24:34.60 So, you are basically saying that whoever you are, 00:24:34.64\00:24:38.17 wherever you are, whatever you are in, 00:24:38.21\00:24:40.91 you're not so low that God can't help you. 00:24:40.94\00:24:43.18 No sir, no sir. 00:24:43.21\00:24:44.55 There's no pit so deep that God cannot go deeper. 00:24:44.58\00:24:46.82 The psalmist says, earth has no sorrow 00:24:46.85\00:24:50.45 that heaven cannot heal. 00:24:50.49\00:24:51.85 That's right, that's right. 00:24:51.89\00:24:53.42 So in wrapping this up, 00:24:53.46\00:24:57.46 what we are talking about basically isn't limited 00:24:57.49\00:25:00.16 or exclusive to the African community right? 00:25:00.20\00:25:02.53 No. 00:25:02.56\00:25:03.90 And so, what are some other areas, 00:25:03.93\00:25:06.40 where this is affected like, 00:25:06.43\00:25:07.77 you said big in the Latino community, 00:25:07.80\00:25:10.81 why is it that the gay barns are filled with, 00:25:10.84\00:25:13.27 you know, Caucasian people and yet is a minority issue. 00:25:13.31\00:25:17.15 What, what's the basis for the down low? 00:25:17.18\00:25:19.41 What is the shame factor that keeps them so oppressed? 00:25:19.45\00:25:23.08 It is again the draw to sin and the need to cover it up. 00:25:23.12\00:25:29.89 What I'm asking is, is it a cultural thing like, 00:25:29.92\00:25:32.36 like what's the relationship? 00:25:32.39\00:25:33.73 I know there are lot of Hispanic people 00:25:33.76\00:25:35.30 or say Catholic and I know 00:25:35.33\00:25:37.27 that it's very taboo in that culture, 00:25:37.30\00:25:39.83 why is it more specific in minorities 00:25:39.87\00:25:43.81 and that's what I'm trying to get at is, 00:25:43.84\00:25:45.97 is not what it is but why it's, where it is? 00:25:46.01\00:25:48.68 What we believe is the reason 00:25:48.71\00:25:51.18 it's so significant in the minority populations 00:25:51.21\00:25:53.45 because the population in general has not yet 00:25:53.48\00:25:57.22 wholesale accepted homosexuality. 00:25:57.25\00:25:59.32 Okay. 00:25:59.35\00:26:00.69 When it is not accepted 00:26:00.72\00:26:02.56 then it is done underneath the radar. 00:26:02.59\00:26:05.46 That why there is such a push in our community 00:26:05.49\00:26:09.03 for the churches to be affirming, 00:26:09.06\00:26:10.60 wanted churches to embrace it 00:26:10.63\00:26:12.00 because they say that, if we embrace it 00:26:12.03\00:26:14.20 then we will eliminate the down low culture, 00:26:14.24\00:26:16.24 that's not true but that's the premise 00:26:16.27\00:26:17.94 that they're taking. 00:26:17.97\00:26:19.31 So how does that start? 00:26:19.34\00:26:20.91 Now let's say, 00:26:20.94\00:26:22.28 you're the head elder in your church, with this situation 00:26:22.31\00:26:25.01 and I'm sure that you're vocal about it. 00:26:25.05\00:26:26.85 What would you recommend to another church 00:26:26.88\00:26:28.92 who wanted to address this in a loving and redemptive way. 00:26:28.95\00:26:32.89 How would they go about it to even approach the subject? 00:26:32.92\00:26:37.09 Well, I believe that again they must be educated 00:26:37.13\00:26:40.30 about that the whole thing about homosexuality... 00:26:40.33\00:26:43.06 Let me back up. 00:26:43.10\00:26:44.70 We must embrace biblical sexuality. 00:26:44.73\00:26:46.80 To start, let's do the foundation 00:26:46.84\00:26:49.00 and once we've established what does that the Lord 00:26:49.04\00:26:51.57 in the constitutional principles 00:26:51.61\00:26:52.94 that govern sexuality. 00:26:52.97\00:26:54.41 Then we gonna address all of the counterfeit areas 00:26:54.44\00:26:57.95 that Satan has carried us. 00:26:57.98\00:26:59.31 Beautiful. I believe that-- 00:26:59.35\00:27:00.92 That the key at there or the key focus is 00:27:00.95\00:27:04.05 God says, my people are destroyed 00:27:04.09\00:27:06.05 for a lack of knowledge. 00:27:06.09\00:27:07.42 So if we start educating ourselves, 00:27:07.46\00:27:09.39 we start studying biblical sexuality 00:27:09.42\00:27:11.36 and embrace this awesome gift from God, 00:27:11.39\00:27:13.53 the truth then will start to set people free. 00:27:13.56\00:27:16.30 Beautiful, so instead of looking at what's wrong, 00:27:16.33\00:27:21.67 we start to focus on 00:27:21.70\00:27:23.04 how God established sex to be a good thing. 00:27:23.07\00:27:25.97 And so as we look at the model 00:27:26.01\00:27:28.04 of what it's like in its perfection, 00:27:28.08\00:27:29.88 then what happens is the Holy Spirit 00:27:29.91\00:27:31.48 is able to convict about all the areas 00:27:31.51\00:27:34.05 where we've fallen short, 00:27:34.08\00:27:35.42 where we've given into sexual deviation 00:27:35.45\00:27:38.29 and so as the church recognizes 00:27:38.32\00:27:40.66 and identifies the pure pattern, 00:27:40.69\00:27:43.02 then I believe that that's when the Holy Spirit 00:27:43.06\00:27:44.93 really is able to accomplish its work into meeting the needs 00:27:44.96\00:27:48.16 of those who are sexually defiled 00:27:48.20\00:27:49.56 and also create an environment 00:27:49.60\00:27:51.70 that's safe to bring other sinners 00:27:51.73\00:27:53.34 and to understand where they're at. 00:27:53.37\00:27:55.00 Want to thank you for joining us 00:27:55.04\00:27:56.37 on our program today, Pure Choices 00:27:56.40\00:27:58.61 and we hope that you'll come back 00:27:58.64\00:27:59.97 and join us again. 00:28:00.01\00:28:01.48