The following program discusses sensitive issues. 00:00:01.06\00:00:03.61 Parents are cautioned that some material may be 00:00:03.64\00:00:05.81 too candid for younger children. 00:00:05.84\00:00:07.37 Hello, and welcome to "Pure Choices." 00:00:40.11\00:00:41.71 I'm your host Pastor Joshua Nelson 00:00:41.74\00:00:43.55 and I'm so glad you decide to join us. 00:00:43.58\00:00:45.69 We have another exiting topic this is, 00:00:45.72\00:00:48.40 "Who Invented Sex part-2," yes, part-2. 00:00:48.43\00:00:51.99 And so we're gonna get right into this discussion. 00:00:52.02\00:00:53.94 Before we do I'm going to introduce 00:00:53.97\00:00:55.00 our panel once again. 00:00:55.03\00:00:57.25 To my left I have Mr. Kean Baxter, 00:00:57.28\00:01:01.70 who is our scholar here, 00:01:01.73\00:01:03.36 he is a graduate from Andrews Theological Seminary. 00:01:03.39\00:01:07.70 He is just got finished it with his M.Div. 00:01:07.73\00:01:10.04 So happy to have him here. 00:01:10.07\00:01:11.24 We also have Pastor Marquis Jackson, 00:01:11.27\00:01:14.02 who is the Pastor there in Manning in Sumter 00:01:14.05\00:01:17.68 with Berea and Maranatha. 00:01:17.71\00:01:20.25 The Seventh-day Adventist Church district there 00:01:20.28\00:01:22.66 and with that South Atlantic Conference. 00:01:22.69\00:01:23.99 Amen. Yes, sir. 00:01:24.02\00:01:25.05 Yes, sir. Yes, sir. 00:01:25.08\00:01:26.12 And then we have Jeanne Mogusu, 00:01:26.15\00:01:28.60 who is in the seminary, 00:01:28.63\00:01:30.56 the theological seminary and she is the BSAS 00:01:30.59\00:01:33.99 or Black Student Association president 00:01:34.02\00:01:36.28 and she is a also PhD-- 00:01:36.31\00:01:39.42 Candidate? 00:01:39.45\00:01:40.52 Candidate right. Yeah, yeah. 00:01:40.55\00:01:41.59 So happy to have you here. 00:01:41.62\00:01:42.80 Another scholar you know, in our myths. 00:01:42.83\00:01:44.52 Then we have Pastor Kory Douglas, 00:01:44.55\00:01:46.71 who pastors the Grand Avenue and New Life Fellowship, 00:01:46.74\00:01:50.49 SDA Church is there in Southeast Missouri 00:01:50.52\00:01:52.62 who is with the Central States Conferences. 00:01:52.65\00:01:54.20 So we have a great panel again for you this day. 00:01:54.23\00:01:57.55 And so we're gonna talk about this subject now 00:01:57.58\00:01:59.98 of really talking about who invented sex 00:02:00.01\00:02:02.78 but really more about what is sex and is sex a sin? 00:02:02.81\00:02:07.50 You know, because a lot of young people think that well, 00:02:07.53\00:02:10.50 they hear sex being a taboo in the churches 00:02:10.53\00:02:12.88 and they told not to talk about it 00:02:12.91\00:02:16.01 and so sometimes that have you often 00:02:16.04\00:02:17.98 heard them say well, is it wrong to have sex? 00:02:18.01\00:02:20.26 So let's talk about that. 00:02:20.29\00:02:22.25 The problem is this with us as a church 00:02:22.28\00:02:23.78 we have now been real about situations. 00:02:23.81\00:02:26.02 Okay. 00:02:26.05\00:02:27.09 As a child growing up I used to you know, 00:02:27.12\00:02:29.10 going to church and you know, 00:02:29.13\00:02:30.26 hearing preachers talking various things 00:02:30.29\00:02:32.32 and which you're not supposed to do 00:02:32.35\00:02:34.71 and but as I will go to church 00:02:34.74\00:02:36.63 and I will look at husbands and wife's 00:02:36.66\00:02:39.30 sitting next to each other and you'll see their children. 00:02:39.33\00:02:42.31 And of course, I'm a child you know, 00:02:42.34\00:02:43.82 and it's like well, how did the child come? 00:02:43.85\00:02:46.02 Well, it definitely if we just believe 00:02:46.05\00:02:47.38 that was only through a store they know. 00:02:47.41\00:02:49.78 So then there is actually sex is happening 00:02:49.81\00:02:52.07 between husband and wife. 00:02:52.10\00:02:53.95 And we have a church have not done what we need to do. 00:02:53.98\00:02:56.69 Because the problem is if we're not gonna be real 00:02:56.72\00:02:59.12 and relevant and speak to them in a correct way 00:02:59.15\00:03:02.59 then definitely there gonna go 00:03:02.62\00:03:03.69 find out throughout the streets, 00:03:03.72\00:03:04.79 in the communities 00:03:04.82\00:03:05.87 and neighborhoods that they go to. 00:03:05.90\00:03:07.56 And if we don't do that 00:03:07.59\00:03:08.62 then we're gonna really loose this generation 00:03:08.65\00:03:09.99 because the generation has very difficult 00:03:10.02\00:03:11.97 to bring them back, we have to be relational. 00:03:12.00\00:03:13.95 Yeah, that's a truth and I'm happy you say that 00:03:13.98\00:03:15.38 because that we want to make sure it's clear 00:03:15.41\00:03:16.99 that sex should be within a marriage relationships. 00:03:17.02\00:03:19.58 Well, now the question is and I'm trying to be real 00:03:19.61\00:03:21.59 to this in generation well, what is included in sex? 00:03:21.62\00:03:25.93 You know, is it just about the intercourse, 00:03:25.96\00:03:28.91 what does that exclude anal or oral 00:03:28.94\00:03:32.09 you know what is included in sex? 00:03:32.12\00:03:34.79 We know that's a that's a big question 00:03:34.82\00:03:36.85 and it's definitely an important question. 00:03:36.88\00:03:38.19 You know, I can't even speak 00:03:38.22\00:03:39.74 from personal experience you know, 00:03:39.77\00:03:41.51 when they tell you don't have sex, 00:03:41.54\00:03:42.89 you kind of feel like what everything else is okay. 00:03:42.92\00:03:45.33 You know, especially you know, you can kiss, 00:03:45.36\00:03:47.47 you know, you can hug 00:03:47.50\00:03:48.68 and so you kind of think that you know, 00:03:48.71\00:03:49.95 anything a little right after that 00:03:49.98\00:03:51.80 or anything between that and-- 00:03:51.83\00:03:53.23 and the actual act of sex is okay. 00:03:53.26\00:03:55.73 But you know, one-- 00:03:55.76\00:03:56.86 one professor had said it like this, 00:03:56.89\00:03:59.39 you know, God indented for there to be 00:03:59.42\00:04:01.88 what we call penetration 00:04:01.91\00:04:03.21 or with the primary or reproductive organs 00:04:03.24\00:04:06.32 of male and female and that anything else 00:04:06.35\00:04:08.52 that involves that is also sex. 00:04:08.55\00:04:10.89 Okay, and that even 00:04:10.92\00:04:12.06 and then he went so far as to say, 00:04:12.09\00:04:13.85 that any thing out side of just you know, 00:04:13.88\00:04:16.32 involve in those primary organs is a perversion 00:04:16.35\00:04:18.99 even if what God had indented in the first place, 00:04:19.02\00:04:21.15 but because of those in organs are involved that it is still, 00:04:21.18\00:04:24.62 is still considered sex. 00:04:24.65\00:04:26.09 And so we can't skate on a line you know, 00:04:26.12\00:04:28.27 I can tell you from personal experience 00:04:28.30\00:04:29.91 is a dangerous line to skate on. 00:04:29.94\00:04:32.24 You know, and just with anything. 00:04:32.27\00:04:33.54 I believe we were talking the other night and Marquis 00:04:33.57\00:04:36.89 said something about candy you know, 00:04:36.92\00:04:38.39 and how only one peace of candy might make 00:04:38.42\00:04:40.39 you want the whole a lot of candy. 00:04:40.42\00:04:41.77 So you know, you have to be careful 00:04:41.80\00:04:43.66 about skating on the line and even dulling the lines. 00:04:43.69\00:04:46.43 Yeah, and honestly you know, 00:04:46.46\00:04:48.78 we all know, we all are young here, 00:04:48.81\00:04:50.42 we know it is tough to really be real 00:04:50.45\00:04:54.24 and say I'm not going to go any-- 00:04:54.27\00:04:56.95 and any avenue of sex, you know, before, 00:04:56.98\00:04:58.73 before marriage it's tough. 00:04:58.76\00:05:00.12 So you know, I know, 00:05:00.15\00:05:02.21 that maybe some people don't want us to go here, 00:05:02.24\00:05:03.72 but let's talk about well, how far is too far? 00:05:03.75\00:05:05.65 You know, because you know, 00:05:05.68\00:05:06.82 in a dating relationship or you're according to whatever 00:05:06.85\00:05:09.87 the case maybe how far really is too far? 00:05:09.90\00:05:11.98 I mean, we want to have 00:05:12.01\00:05:13.04 some type of interaction don't you? 00:05:13.07\00:05:15.39 That's a very good question and I like what Kory said 00:05:15.42\00:05:18.66 on that topic that we are taught not to have sex 00:05:18.69\00:05:23.63 but there are different ideas 00:05:23.66\00:05:26.33 of what constitutes sex like we said, 00:05:26.36\00:05:28.69 a lot of people believe that if there is no penetration 00:05:28.72\00:05:31.63 then is not sex 00:05:31.66\00:05:32.72 and then everything out side of that is permissible. 00:05:32.75\00:05:37.13 We're not taught necessarily the principles of-- 00:05:37.16\00:05:42.54 what the standards of purity, 00:05:42.57\00:05:44.60 why are we told not to have sex. 00:05:44.63\00:05:47.80 So these are the things that we need to understand. 00:05:47.83\00:05:50.95 So let's really talk about 00:05:50.98\00:05:52.12 into the some of the principles and really is that 00:05:52.15\00:05:54.69 really thinking about how far is too far? 00:05:54.72\00:05:57.07 You know, what should be my principles 00:05:57.10\00:05:58.84 while I'm there with my-- my lady, 00:05:58.87\00:06:00.79 you know, when I mean, we're trying to get close. 00:06:00.82\00:06:03.00 You know, I have-- I have a friend who, 00:06:03.03\00:06:07.34 you know, I wish I could say I learned this things 00:06:07.37\00:06:08.92 when I was younger but as I learned-- as I grow-- 00:06:08.95\00:06:11.41 as I've grown older, 00:06:11.44\00:06:13.19 I have learned this things and I have a friend of mine 00:06:13.22\00:06:16.25 who he is recently engaged and one thing that I've actually 00:06:16.28\00:06:20.54 totally admired from his relationship is when he was 00:06:20.57\00:06:23.66 dating his girlfriend he did not-- 00:06:23.69\00:06:26.44 they dated for period of about three years I hope. 00:06:26.47\00:06:28.90 Yeah, three years I hope I'm getting this right. 00:06:28.93\00:06:32.39 And for the first two years of their relationship 00:06:32.42\00:06:35.69 they did not even kiss or and they did not even-- 00:06:35.72\00:06:40.72 their expression of love was never verbal. 00:06:40.75\00:06:45.30 Like he would never-- 00:06:45.33\00:06:46.36 he keep took that very seriously 00:06:46.39\00:06:49.43 telling someone I love you. 00:06:49.46\00:06:51.71 And so even spending the way they spent time together, 00:06:51.74\00:06:55.44 was very controlled because he wanted to maintain 00:06:55.47\00:06:59.22 this gaggle standard of purity. 00:06:59.25\00:07:01.49 And his standard was if God was not-- 00:07:01.52\00:07:05.53 if God was actually present sitting right there 00:07:05.56\00:07:07.74 next to him which you know, 00:07:07.77\00:07:09.67 which He always is but if He was aware of that, you know, 00:07:09.70\00:07:13.95 being more aware of the fact that God is sitting 00:07:13.98\00:07:15.69 right next to you what are you doing? 00:07:15.72\00:07:17.91 If what you're doing you'd not wanted to do in front of God. 00:07:17.94\00:07:22.15 Then you probably not doing something that you know, 00:07:22.18\00:07:25.27 that is right. 00:07:25.30\00:07:26.93 Given that God the one who invented sex like we said, 00:07:26.96\00:07:30.90 and He is the one have gave us sex as a gift 00:07:30.93\00:07:33.08 that suppose to be pleasurable. 00:07:33.11\00:07:34.72 So if I'm doing something with Kory 00:07:34.75\00:07:36.89 and God is sitting right next to me 00:07:36.92\00:07:38.98 and I'm feeling kind of all kinds of funny, 00:07:39.01\00:07:41.67 you know, and then-- 00:07:41.70\00:07:43.92 then what I'm doing I should stop. 00:07:43.95\00:07:47.39 Well, you know I think that's-- that's sounds good, 00:07:47.42\00:07:49.76 you know, its pretty ideal but you know, 00:07:49.79\00:07:51.50 honestly you know, 00:07:51.53\00:07:52.83 for person who because member now, 00:07:52.86\00:07:54.37 we told of making pure choices where the key men 00:07:54.40\00:07:56.47 get irrational that everyone is watching this show 00:07:56.50\00:07:58.56 has not been making pure choices, 00:07:58.59\00:08:00.05 in their life or has already been in situations you know, 00:08:00.08\00:08:03.54 may have been promiscuous or whatever the case is 00:08:03.57\00:08:06.54 and I can tell you from my experience 00:08:06.57\00:08:08.21 someone having experience making out for instance, 00:08:08.24\00:08:11.74 you know, when get into relationship 00:08:11.77\00:08:13.35 you kind a you'll gonna want to make out. 00:08:13.38\00:08:15.20 You know, when you've experience 00:08:15.23\00:08:16.57 certain things in relationship setting you gonna want 00:08:16.60\00:08:19.42 keep experiencing that even though you have 00:08:19.45\00:08:21.40 now made a decision that I'm going to be pure. 00:08:21.43\00:08:23.94 And so we got to keep that in mind. 00:08:23.97\00:08:26.29 One of the-- and this is actually perfect. 00:08:26.32\00:08:28.88 One of the things I love, one of the verses I love 00:08:28.91\00:08:31.58 especially when it comes to satisfaction you know, 00:08:31.61\00:08:33.56 probably I gonna say it's on another episode. 00:08:33.59\00:08:35.53 Is a when Paul says make no provisions for your flesh. 00:08:35.56\00:08:39.13 Because you know, remember now because well, 00:08:39.16\00:08:40.68 we're talking about now turning around pure choices 00:08:40.71\00:08:42.21 it's more being converted going to different direction, 00:08:42.24\00:08:44.75 you know, we know that we are ideal God 00:08:44.78\00:08:47.03 is gonna work on us, 00:08:47.06\00:08:48.10 we gonna pray for taking the desires out of our heart, 00:08:48.13\00:08:50.50 but I believe that they are things that we do 00:08:50.53\00:08:52.62 in that process that doesn't make us necessarily 00:08:52.65\00:08:55.39 better but it-- it you know, 00:08:55.42\00:08:57.10 it doesn't go against what God is doing already in us. 00:08:57.13\00:08:59.27 So we don't make provisions for our flesh. 00:08:59.30\00:09:00.58 So for me personally I don't put myself in the situations 00:09:00.61\00:09:03.98 that I know will bring about those desires. 00:09:04.01\00:09:06.89 If you want to be practical you know, 00:09:06.92\00:09:08.91 you don't date but don't be alone. 00:09:08.94\00:09:11.21 You know, don't invite someone 00:09:11.24\00:09:12.54 over to your house late at night, 00:09:12.57\00:09:13.98 and say let watch the movie at 11'oclock you know, 00:09:14.01\00:09:16.21 as one of my professor use to say, 00:09:16.24\00:09:18.13 that's around to be witching hour. 00:09:18.16\00:09:19.68 You know, that's just the time when the night 00:09:19.71\00:09:20.97 where certain things got to your mind. 00:09:21.00\00:09:22.85 And so don't be alone with these people 00:09:22.88\00:09:24.84 at that certain time. 00:09:24.87\00:09:26.00 You know, you can grab on the principles like that. 00:09:26.03\00:09:28.15 You know, don't make any provisions for the flesh. 00:09:28.18\00:09:30.29 The place is where you know at you are struggling 00:09:30.32\00:09:32.59 that you are weak try to keep yourself 00:09:32.62\00:09:34.48 as much as possible away from those things. 00:09:34.51\00:09:37.08 Well, I mean, and I'm gonna go the Kean 00:09:37.11\00:09:38.74 and say but giving that is also a very hard thing. 00:09:38.77\00:09:40.52 It's not easy. 00:09:40.55\00:09:41.60 Especially when you know, you say really want 00:09:41.63\00:09:42.96 to spend time with someone, 00:09:42.99\00:09:44.06 you want to spend a lot of time with them, 00:09:44.09\00:09:45.93 and you know, you starts spending that time with them 00:09:45.96\00:09:47.82 later and later and it just kind of get out of hand. 00:09:47.85\00:09:50.84 But you pose an interesting thing 00:09:50.87\00:09:52.38 go ahead, go ahead. 00:09:52.41\00:09:53.44 I was gonna say, the question how far is too far? 00:09:53.47\00:09:56.92 It actually might be the wrong question. 00:09:56.95\00:10:01.26 Say you are married, and you ask your spouse 00:10:01.29\00:10:04.81 what's the least I can do to make you happy? 00:10:04.84\00:10:08.07 Well, we're still married, we're still okay. 00:10:08.10\00:10:10.58 So it's like it's how far can I-- 00:10:10.61\00:10:13.10 how much can I get away with? 00:10:13.13\00:10:14.33 Yeah. Yeah. 00:10:14.36\00:10:15.40 So, we know that Jesus loves us, 00:10:15.43\00:10:19.89 He died for us and He saved us He's given so much for us 00:10:19.92\00:10:23.53 and I think this is why your relationship with Jesus 00:10:23.56\00:10:26.85 has to guide every question, 00:10:26.88\00:10:30.27 every choice into your life and He will show 00:10:30.30\00:10:33.26 what pleases Him and He realizes the standard is high, 00:10:33.29\00:10:36.92 but He is given Himself for us to-- 00:10:36.95\00:10:40.12 He asked us to die lay down our lives 00:10:40.15\00:10:42.87 and He will raises up in Him 00:10:42.90\00:10:44.96 so that those standards could be met. 00:10:44.99\00:10:46.70 Well, you know, if I could have quickly 00:10:46.73\00:10:48.63 I think one of the issues that face is that you know, 00:10:48.66\00:10:51.61 well, we are taught what relationship 00:10:51.64\00:10:53.37 looks like through the media, through you know, 00:10:53.40\00:10:55.30 all these different avenues. 00:10:55.33\00:10:56.66 We're not taught what Jeanne described. 00:10:56.69\00:10:58.81 You know, we're thought that certain things happen 00:10:58.84\00:11:01.38 within the dating process that if you date, you have to kiss. 00:11:01.41\00:11:04.90 If you date you have to hold hands. 00:11:04.93\00:11:07.15 If you date you have to be cuddled up. 00:11:07.18\00:11:09.35 You know, people who date they do these things 00:11:09.38\00:11:11.25 and I think that part of that is having that stuff 00:11:11.28\00:11:14.00 embedded in us to believe. 00:11:14.03\00:11:15.91 In the journey, form where you are go out 00:11:15.94\00:11:19.12 and meet check yes or no, to will you marry me? 00:11:19.15\00:11:21.34 That in that process that there is some things 00:11:21.37\00:11:23.13 we have to do, 00:11:23.16\00:11:24.57 but we don't have to do those things as we learn. 00:11:24.60\00:11:26.50 So you're saying that you only have 00:11:26.53\00:11:28.20 to necessarily hold hands? 00:11:28.23\00:11:30.08 You'll have to do. 00:11:30.11\00:11:31.17 I'm not gonna say I won't because I will hold hands 00:11:31.20\00:11:33.09 but I'm-- you don't have to. 00:11:33.12\00:11:35.24 Then it's possible that we've-- 00:11:35.27\00:11:36.87 as we've learned for that not to happen 00:11:36.90\00:11:38.46 and I think it goes back to something 00:11:38.49\00:11:40.86 we've discussed privately about the fact that you know, 00:11:40.89\00:11:43.34 God really playing an important role 00:11:43.37\00:11:45.57 in the relationship. 00:11:45.60\00:11:46.67 It can't just be all about what you wanted 00:11:46.70\00:11:48.35 with the person wants 00:11:48.38\00:11:49.44 and that's something we can't leave out. 00:11:49.47\00:11:50.97 It's got to be about, you know, how much does God play? 00:11:51.00\00:11:54.68 How much of a part of God play in my relationship, 00:11:54.71\00:11:57.48 you know, and how much do my desires 00:11:57.51\00:11:58.66 lined up with His desires? 00:11:58.69\00:12:00.06 And that the church has a vital role to play in this 00:12:00.09\00:12:03.79 because like you said, 00:12:03.82\00:12:05.27 these are the pictures of course of dating all that 00:12:05.30\00:12:09.23 we're getting from media and society 00:12:09.26\00:12:12.09 which says that you're exclusive, 00:12:12.12\00:12:15.94 boyfriend, girlfriends can sleep over, 00:12:15.97\00:12:17.90 they sleep in the same bed, 00:12:17.93\00:12:19.55 all these misconceptions these are erroneous. 00:12:19.58\00:12:24.01 So that church lets step up 00:12:24.04\00:12:26.26 and to paint the picture how it should work? 00:12:26.29\00:12:29.39 There should be older, wiser people, 00:12:29.42\00:12:31.56 people were experiencing mature they help young people, 00:12:31.59\00:12:34.10 navigate because it's a very murky area to navigate alone. 00:12:34.13\00:12:40.24 Yes, that is so true and here we go now 00:12:40.27\00:12:42.16 to our next part of it because here you are now, 00:12:42.19\00:12:44.34 let's make it practical, 00:12:44.37\00:12:45.58 you there sitting with you're sniffing in other, 00:12:45.61\00:12:47.68 you kind of boot up, 00:12:47.71\00:12:49.01 closer little bit cuddling you know, 00:12:49.04\00:12:50.60 in you get that urge, you get that feeling. 00:12:50.63\00:12:52.58 You know, you want to now may be see test 00:12:52.61\00:12:55.12 waters of kissing on them little bit 00:12:55.15\00:12:57.76 and then you remember this program. 00:12:57.79\00:13:00.00 You remember that, we said, 00:13:00.03\00:13:01.73 you know, to not do that, to not to go down that road. 00:13:01.76\00:13:04.97 And even more specifically what the Bible said, 00:13:05.00\00:13:06.21 what Jesus says, and looking at really 00:13:06.24\00:13:08.16 what it says in 1 Corinthians 6:18 00:13:08.19\00:13:10.75 Paul talking to Corinthians he says, 00:13:10.78\00:13:11.85 "Flee from sexual immorality." 00:13:11.88\00:13:13.85 So you know, here you are now you supposed to flee 00:13:13.88\00:13:16.92 but I do like the fact that it also says in the Bible 00:13:16.95\00:13:19.21 that if you resists the devil he will flee from you. 00:13:19.24\00:13:21.41 So if you are fleeing and the devil is fleeing you 00:13:21.44\00:13:23.29 just gonna be totally you know, out of way. 00:13:23.32\00:13:25.47 But really though looking at this thing 00:13:25.50\00:13:28.38 why then is God telling us to flee from sexual immorality? 00:13:28.41\00:13:33.78 You know, first of all He says flee from sexual immorality, 00:13:33.81\00:13:36.14 it does not say, flee from sex. 00:13:36.17\00:13:37.72 Okay. 00:13:37.75\00:13:38.81 When it's to a husband and wife 00:13:38.84\00:13:40.20 that's God made them to be that way. 00:13:40.23\00:13:42.33 It's fine. 00:13:42.36\00:13:43.72 Since fleeing from sexual immorality you know, 00:13:43.75\00:13:46.46 in my area I live in Sumter, 00:13:46.49\00:13:47.69 I have a church in Manning as well 00:13:47.72\00:13:49.68 and there is a church not too far away from us in Colombia 00:13:49.71\00:13:52.51 that they have a prospective of focus 00:13:52.54\00:13:54.83 and talking about keeping, 00:13:54.86\00:13:56.32 it's called "Keep the Cookie." 00:13:56.35\00:13:58.35 And when we look in that prospective 00:13:58.38\00:14:00.67 and how to keep yourself pure, it's kind of things 00:14:00.70\00:14:02.81 because when we look at how they manufacture furniture, 00:14:02.84\00:14:06.31 there is a couch and is also a loveseat. 00:14:06.34\00:14:09.74 I know when I'm saying about someone 00:14:09.77\00:14:11.58 and if I'm saying about female, and I like her, 00:14:11.61\00:14:15.31 there is three portions there is-- 00:14:15.34\00:14:17.85 if I'm sitting here and she is sitting here 00:14:17.88\00:14:18.99 that's not was-- 00:14:19.02\00:14:20.21 that's not what the prospective is. 00:14:20.24\00:14:21.92 But there is something called a loveseat 00:14:21.95\00:14:24.04 and so when a guy and a girl sit in the loveseat 00:14:24.07\00:14:26.27 it implicates of loveseat is love. 00:14:26.30\00:14:29.46 So now when they sit in that-- 00:14:29.49\00:14:31.54 when they sitting in that those places-- 00:14:31.57\00:14:33.66 "loveseat" and they hang around each other 00:14:33.69\00:14:36.13 and the fragrance that he wears 00:14:36.16\00:14:37.59 and the fragrance that she wears 00:14:37.62\00:14:39.14 and the things that they do 00:14:39.17\00:14:40.73 if they are boyfriend and girlfriend 00:14:40.76\00:14:42.51 or they have so they might just be friends with benefits 00:14:42.54\00:14:46.46 if they finally themselves in situation 00:14:46.49\00:14:47.96 and it goes away for the rest of that person's life 00:14:47.99\00:14:51.18 they gonna have to deal with those things 00:14:51.21\00:14:52.88 because there is a bond that goes on. 00:14:52.91\00:14:55.26 There is a bond that attaches them. 00:14:55.29\00:14:57.01 So when they smell of someone walking down the street 00:14:57.04\00:14:59.71 with that fragrance it's gonna connect to them. 00:14:59.74\00:15:01.75 When they have these various aspects of them 00:15:01.78\00:15:03.63 it's gonna connect them 00:15:03.66\00:15:04.69 and it's gonna be something that they cannot separate, 00:15:04.72\00:15:07.25 it's gonna seal them for life here. 00:15:07.28\00:15:09.61 That's what we should fear-- 00:15:09.64\00:15:10.83 that's what we some type flees from sexual immorality. 00:15:10.86\00:15:14.10 Yeah, that's such a good point and you know, 00:15:14.13\00:15:15.67 and I tell you that is true, you right on target there. 00:15:15.70\00:15:18.61 And I also want to say, you started talking 00:15:18.64\00:15:20.22 about friends benefits we don't coincide 00:15:20.25\00:15:21.82 of that of course that does not. 00:15:21.85\00:15:23.09 That's not what you shouldn't be, 00:15:23.12\00:15:25.15 you know, so Kory, go ahead. 00:15:25.18\00:15:26.94 I think that it goes back to something we talked about 00:15:26.97\00:15:30.30 in part-1 and you know, and what at the-- 00:15:30.33\00:15:32.43 what is that crux of the issues or relationship and the bond. 00:15:32.46\00:15:36.61 And that is that the bond should exists with God first. 00:15:36.64\00:15:39.72 You know, and what we are taught 00:15:39.75\00:15:41.70 through every other avenue except for the church 00:15:41.73\00:15:43.54 is that we should bond to each other. 00:15:43.57\00:15:45.42 Go out there and find the one who completes you. 00:15:45.45\00:15:47.94 Go out there and find the person 00:15:47.97\00:15:49.00 who makes you better. 00:15:49.03\00:15:50.11 Go out there and find the person 00:15:50.14\00:15:51.17 who you feel more compatible with. 00:15:51.20\00:15:52.65 We never really talk about the fact 00:15:52.68\00:15:53.99 that we should trust God to make these decisions. 00:15:54.02\00:15:56.78 So when we get on the couch that's Pastor Nelson, 00:15:56.81\00:15:59.50 right, when the young lady is on the couch 00:15:59.53\00:16:00.59 and I've heard young lady say stuff like this before. 00:16:00.62\00:16:02.82 I was with him, I was alone and he started kissing me 00:16:02.85\00:16:06.48 and I just didn't know what to do. 00:16:06.51\00:16:07.58 I thought it was expected of me to do these things 00:16:07.61\00:16:10.25 and then next you know, you know, 00:16:10.28\00:16:11.69 next you know, we are undressed 00:16:11.72\00:16:13.60 and I just thought this is what comes next, 00:16:13.63\00:16:15.80 you know, but and then I won't say no 00:16:15.83\00:16:18.72 because if I say no, I'll destroy that bond 00:16:18.75\00:16:21.12 that we have and he might want to leave me. 00:16:21.15\00:16:23.77 If I flee the situation all together he will, 00:16:23.80\00:16:26.71 like you said, he might flee too. 00:16:26.74\00:16:28.54 And so we're afraid of that situation 00:16:28.57\00:16:30.36 but if the basis of the relationship 00:16:30.39\00:16:33.11 is trust in God and your bond with God 00:16:33.14\00:16:35.72 then you'll be able to say what if he flees 00:16:35.75\00:16:38.23 then it must be God's will. 00:16:38.26\00:16:39.42 Hey, hey, if he flees may be he is a-- 00:16:39.45\00:16:41.64 the devil, may be he is a devil. 00:16:41.67\00:16:43.03 Right. 00:16:43.06\00:16:44.38 So he is in premarital stage, you know. 00:16:44.41\00:16:46.24 Because you're opposing the standards of the Bible. 00:16:46.27\00:16:47.70 Exactly. 00:16:47.73\00:16:50.47 God says, flee-- the Bible says, 00:16:50.50\00:16:54.11 flee youthful lusts because it's so powerful, 00:16:54.14\00:16:59.99 it's a natural desire He put it in us. 00:17:00.02\00:17:02.99 It's a-- sin is trying to meet 00:17:03.02\00:17:06.42 a legitimate need in a legitimate way out. 00:17:06.45\00:17:09.23 He realizes the power of it so this is why just keep, 00:17:09.26\00:17:12.43 it's like you get two magnets you know close together-- 00:17:12.46\00:17:15.84 close you get together is hard to keep them apart 00:17:15.87\00:17:18.46 and it just the force that draws them together. 00:17:18.49\00:17:21.65 So when you're alone together like you'd scenario 00:17:21.68\00:17:24.44 gave on the couch it's-- 00:17:24.47\00:17:27.07 and it's a natural progression that honestly 00:17:27.10\00:17:29.20 God did not design us to fight 00:17:29.23\00:17:31.14 and this is why you're are kept apart in olden days, 00:17:31.17\00:17:35.74 you know, girls and boys are kept apart 00:17:35.77\00:17:37.98 until they were ready for that next step. 00:17:38.01\00:17:42.77 But like what Kory said I like to-- 00:17:42.80\00:17:44.44 you have to be bonded to God first but also the church. 00:17:44.47\00:17:48.84 God wants to church to be a family. 00:17:48.87\00:17:51.20 He says, keep the bond of peace. 00:17:51.23\00:17:53.37 So, you don't have to fight that alone, 00:17:53.40\00:17:56.39 you have-- if your parents aren't there 00:17:56.42\00:17:59.27 you have older people in the church, 00:17:59.30\00:18:02.14 accountability partners that help you in this process, 00:18:02.17\00:18:05.13 so you don't get stuck by yourself. 00:18:05.16\00:18:06.91 Yeah, and God really knows-- knows all of that. 00:18:06.94\00:18:09.08 You know, He has a-- 00:18:09.11\00:18:10.89 that's why He tells us to flee from it. 00:18:10.92\00:18:12.87 Yeah, and I just want to go back 00:18:12.90\00:18:14.34 to what Marquis was saying, 00:18:14.37\00:18:16.71 you know, about this bonding that goes on, 00:18:16.74\00:18:19.26 there is a lot that goes on in the-- 00:18:19.29\00:18:21.60 in the sexual realm, you know, 00:18:21.63\00:18:24.02 you have a lot of not just physical things going on 00:18:24.05\00:18:27.10 but also physiological and psychological 00:18:27.13\00:18:29.21 and even neurological changes that are going on in your body, 00:18:29.24\00:18:32.50 there are hormones that are secreted 00:18:32.53\00:18:34.07 that literally are designed to bond you with that person. 00:18:34.10\00:18:39.31 And that's why when you're walking down the street 00:18:39.34\00:18:41.96 and a sudden fragrance you know, 00:18:41.99\00:18:44.29 like Marquis is talking about, you know, 00:18:44.32\00:18:46.00 hits you it reminds you some one. 00:18:46.03\00:18:48.34 Human beings are sensual beings, you know, 00:18:48.37\00:18:52.33 that's why God gave us five senses. 00:18:52.36\00:18:54.43 You know, and when you are, you know, 00:18:54.46\00:18:57.99 meeting legitimate needs in illegitimate ways 00:18:58.02\00:19:02.81 then you're literally bonding yourself with someone who-- 00:19:02.84\00:19:05.99 with whom you cannot sustain 00:19:06.02\00:19:10.85 that relationship as it should be. 00:19:10.88\00:19:13.25 So here I'm bonded with Marquis and Kean, and Kory, 00:19:13.28\00:19:17.51 and when I finally get married to the person I'm suppose to, 00:19:17.54\00:19:21.36 it's like I have a mix mash of bonds 00:19:21.39\00:19:24.01 that I literally need to tear away 00:19:24.04\00:19:26.84 before I can literally commit to the person 00:19:26.87\00:19:29.31 I should be I'm married to. 00:19:29.34\00:19:32.55 In practical ways, that is not easy. 00:19:32.58\00:19:33.87 It's not. 00:19:33.90\00:19:34.95 That's something you don't want people to go through 00:19:34.98\00:19:36.02 because it's tough. 00:19:36.05\00:19:37.09 It's that bond is suppose-- 00:19:37.12\00:19:38.37 is beautiful because it suppose to be with your spouse. 00:19:38.40\00:19:41.96 Your spouse. 00:19:41.99\00:19:43.02 And you know well, real quick, real quick and really quick. 00:19:43.05\00:19:45.81 What she is saying is true because and only to realize is 00:19:45.84\00:19:48.57 even though it's hard to flee with us, 00:19:48.60\00:19:51.09 for what I understand talking to married folk, 00:19:51.12\00:19:52.83 a recently married it's even hard to break those bonds 00:19:52.86\00:19:56.06 that you formed before you got married. 00:19:56.09\00:19:57.65 So that's why we're saying don't even make 00:19:57.68\00:19:59.30 those bonds you know, way on to your marriage. 00:19:59.33\00:20:01.66 Yeah, pastor. 00:20:01.69\00:20:03.07 I need to challenge not the church, 00:20:03.10\00:20:05.99 I need to challenge parents. 00:20:06.02\00:20:08.15 Because the problem is I see is that when we-- 00:20:08.18\00:20:11.41 people go to church most people didn't go 00:20:11.44\00:20:13.52 to prayer meeting. 00:20:13.55\00:20:14.79 So you now have a approximately two hours 00:20:14.82\00:20:16.76 out of a 168 hours in a week, 00:20:16.79\00:20:18.90 where parents have been so comfortable thinking 00:20:18.93\00:20:22.00 that their children's life will be changed 00:20:22.03\00:20:23.58 just by the church when the static's tell us 00:20:23.61\00:20:27.45 that the number one influences of the child or the parents. 00:20:27.48\00:20:30.91 Now, yes, a church does have responsibility 00:20:30.94\00:20:33.37 but even more importantly does a parent 00:20:33.40\00:20:35.41 have the responsibility it could-- 00:20:35.44\00:20:37.27 it could be a two people husband and wife, 00:20:37.30\00:20:40.21 mother and father, 00:20:40.24\00:20:41.36 it could be one a mother or a father. 00:20:41.39\00:20:43.64 But those that parent need-- 00:20:43.67\00:20:45.47 those parents need to be very much involved 00:20:45.50\00:20:47.89 in their children and the church should be 00:20:47.92\00:20:50.16 used to supplement that. 00:20:50.19\00:20:52.02 And if we don't do that supplementing 00:20:52.05\00:20:54.67 that process and we've-- 00:20:54.70\00:20:56.01 and just think the parents gonna do 00:20:56.04\00:20:57.95 and the parents trusting the church gonna do it 00:20:57.98\00:20:59.66 we have now lost a generation of people 00:20:59.69\00:21:01.38 who don't know where to go because gangs will do it. 00:21:01.41\00:21:05.35 Oh, yeah. Yeah. 00:21:05.38\00:21:07.11 TV will do it, CDs will do it, 00:21:07.14\00:21:09.85 friends will do it and will enter into their minds 00:21:09.88\00:21:12.66 and seeing to their minds what should they should do 00:21:12.69\00:21:14.57 because they are used to hearing it's in a while. 00:21:14.60\00:21:16.74 This is expected of me, I'm gonna have to go that far. 00:21:16.77\00:21:18.68 Yeah. 00:21:18.71\00:21:19.74 And let's just be real because you know, 00:21:19.77\00:21:21.62 it's hard for us to really get this 00:21:21.65\00:21:23.63 because its become so normal for us 00:21:23.66\00:21:25.81 just to act on our urges, just to have sex, 00:21:25.84\00:21:28.63 to be intimate before marriage 00:21:28.66\00:21:31.05 and reality is isn't the church. 00:21:31.08\00:21:32.74 Yeah, definitely, yeah. It's the new culture now. 00:21:32.77\00:21:34.83 Let's just be realistic you know, 00:21:34.86\00:21:36.89 let the cat out of the bag. 00:21:36.92\00:21:38.73 A lot of people in the church are having sex 00:21:38.76\00:21:41.13 before their marriage, you know, 00:21:41.16\00:21:43.13 more than you realize. 00:21:43.16\00:21:44.83 And you know, I didn't realize, 00:21:44.86\00:21:46.03 it is a part of the underlining culture 00:21:46.06\00:21:48.70 they just expect it for you to do. 00:21:48.73\00:21:50.57 So really what I'm gonna ask now is first of all 00:21:50.60\00:21:53.13 have we lowered our standards as Christians? 00:21:53.16\00:21:55.02 So what I been really saying is wrong 00:21:55.05\00:21:57.05 and is there any excuse we can say what we can-- 00:21:57.08\00:22:00.84 we should be able to do it because hey, 00:22:00.87\00:22:02.41 it is hard to be pure. 00:22:02.44\00:22:05.25 Most churches, denomination wise 00:22:05.28\00:22:08.04 have a church right here 00:22:08.07\00:22:09.92 and homes not too far away from churches 00:22:09.95\00:22:12.11 so you have a lot of people who grow up in a community 00:22:12.14\00:22:14.85 and they go to the church. 00:22:14.88\00:22:16.47 In Seventh-day Adventist culture 00:22:16.50\00:22:17.80 we don't have a lot of churches in our cities, 00:22:17.83\00:22:20.58 so people may go to church but they live far away 00:22:20.61\00:22:23.87 and in mindset it also has been implicated on this-- 00:22:23.90\00:22:27.45 on the younger people is that once they go to church 00:22:27.48\00:22:30.15 they go home they don't come back. 00:22:30.18\00:22:32.05 So no longer do we have that village to raising children 00:22:32.08\00:22:34.69 we decide people go in their separate ways. 00:22:34.72\00:22:36.65 So I'll necessary says that the-- 00:22:36.68\00:22:39.14 about the church in fact I think a lot of times 00:22:39.17\00:22:40.99 is that we have lost our responsibility 00:22:41.02\00:22:43.32 as supplementing that and that's a problem. 00:22:43.35\00:22:46.48 I just want to say something not only have we-- 00:22:46.51\00:22:50.05 have we lowered our standards? 00:22:50.08\00:22:51.31 Yes, we have, but I think one thing 00:22:51.34\00:22:54.20 that I don't want to just to miss is that for the person 00:22:54.23\00:22:56.69 who is watching and who has already been 00:22:56.72\00:22:59.20 in those situations we are saying that it can be done. 00:22:59.23\00:23:03.05 You can make pure choices 00:23:03.08\00:23:05.08 and not just that God does redeemed 00:23:05.11\00:23:08.18 what is taken from you, you know, 00:23:08.21\00:23:11.54 God is in the redeeming business. 00:23:11.57\00:23:13.26 So not-- yes, 00:23:13.29\00:23:14.78 we have abdicated our responsibilities 00:23:14.81\00:23:16.91 but more than that now that we are here 00:23:16.94\00:23:19.59 we are saying you can live that life 00:23:19.62\00:23:21.94 and that you should make this choices 00:23:21.97\00:23:23.80 and that going forward these are-- 00:23:23.83\00:23:26.67 these are some of the principles 00:23:26.70\00:23:27.73 that you can apply. 00:23:27.76\00:23:28.87 You can make provision in your life not to read novels 00:23:28.90\00:23:34.06 that will excite you so that when you do 00:23:34.09\00:23:36.62 get into a relationship 00:23:36.65\00:23:37.69 you kind of already have a built in expectation 00:23:37.72\00:23:41.22 in your mind that this is what I need to be doing you know. 00:23:41.25\00:23:44.81 You can stop watching movies that will excite you 00:23:44.84\00:23:48.87 into doing things that are not necessarily 00:23:48.90\00:23:51.20 where you want to go. 00:23:51.23\00:23:52.26 You can be a-- surround yourself with people 00:23:52.29\00:23:55.52 who build your relationship with Christ 00:23:55.55\00:23:59.01 to more than they encourage you to you know, 00:23:59.04\00:24:01.80 be slipping around with other people. 00:24:01.83\00:24:03.67 Those are some of the practical things 00:24:03.70\00:24:04.75 that we can do. 00:24:04.78\00:24:05.82 Yeah, that's beautiful. You to, Kean. 00:24:05.85\00:24:07.78 So true, Jeanne, I want to add to that 00:24:07.81\00:24:10.93 before all those things 00:24:10.96\00:24:13.03 that you mentioned which are necessary, 00:24:13.06\00:24:15.20 there has to be a foundation because, 00:24:15.23\00:24:17.45 I mean, I can speak from my experience 00:24:17.48\00:24:19.86 you don't have to go out looking for a sin, 00:24:19.89\00:24:21.57 sin will come and find you. 00:24:21.60\00:24:23.42 Reminding your own business and it says, 00:24:23.45\00:24:25.65 hi, you remembered me? 00:24:25.68\00:24:29.35 But so what has to happen is because this is something 00:24:29.38\00:24:32.98 that we can run from, it says, 00:24:33.01\00:24:35.73 flee useful lust but it's in us this desire for procreation 00:24:35.76\00:24:40.72 that God put us into our fore parents Adam and Eve 00:24:40.75\00:24:44.07 and it's been passed down to all our children, it's in us. 00:24:44.10\00:24:46.73 So how do we flee when it's when it's inside of us? 00:24:46.76\00:24:49.65 So this is where it's important to understand 00:24:49.68\00:24:52.85 that God needs us to die 00:24:52.88\00:24:55.42 and it's Christ that gives us the power. 00:24:55.45\00:24:57.54 We can make all of the provisions, 00:24:57.57\00:25:00.67 we can through out our TV, 00:25:00.70\00:25:01.92 we can through out our internet, 00:25:01.95\00:25:04.38 and we won't change it because our nature it's in our DNA. 00:25:04.41\00:25:10.32 We don't know, a lot of times our parents 00:25:10.35\00:25:11.71 won't talk about us-- 00:25:11.74\00:25:12.84 to us about sex because of the mistakes 00:25:12.87\00:25:14.51 that they've made and the shame. 00:25:14.54\00:25:16.54 And this is one of the reasons 00:25:16.57\00:25:17.71 why we don't talk about it in church 00:25:17.74\00:25:18.91 because like you said they'll-- 00:25:18.94\00:25:20.88 because we can't reach the standard, 00:25:20.91\00:25:23.96 we lower it so because its okay, 00:25:23.99\00:25:25.98 I've reached it because now it's here instead of here. 00:25:26.01\00:25:29.19 So this is why death to self, 00:25:29.22\00:25:33.08 new life accepting new life that Christ gives us, 00:25:33.11\00:25:36.53 living in Him that's the only way that we can have success. 00:25:36.56\00:25:41.15 Amen. And that's the way to wrap it up. 00:25:41.18\00:25:43.18 You know, we really have to make sure 00:25:43.21\00:25:44.65 that we're being proactive, we are preparing ourselves. 00:25:44.68\00:25:47.23 Because you know these things are going to happen, 00:25:47.26\00:25:48.82 you know, even us when we leave here, 00:25:48.85\00:25:50.42 you know, these things are gonna-- 00:25:50.45\00:25:51.79 Satan is gonna try to attack us with these things. 00:25:51.82\00:25:54.03 And so we have to know that we have to be prepared 00:25:54.06\00:25:57.74 even with our civic and others to even plan out the time 00:25:57.77\00:26:00.51 we're gonna spend with them, 00:26:00.54\00:26:01.57 so we won't fall into these-- these traps, you know. 00:26:01.60\00:26:03.64 I want to just read this testimony that I received 00:26:03.67\00:26:05.19 from one of the young people at my church, 00:26:05.22\00:26:06.85 who recently got baptized. 00:26:06.88\00:26:07.93 She says, I'm 18-year-old young lady, 00:26:07.96\00:26:10.42 I just got baptized this year 00:26:10.45\00:26:11.97 and I made a commitment to stop having sex. 00:26:12.00\00:26:14.16 The things that helped me was talking to Jesus 00:26:14.19\00:26:16.41 and being faithful to myself about being Christian. 00:26:16.44\00:26:18.92 My situation involved my boyfriend 00:26:18.95\00:26:20.98 who I was having sex with until I got my life turned around, 00:26:21.01\00:26:24.32 and I ran from the situation. 00:26:24.35\00:26:26.05 But recently we talked and he told me that 00:26:26.08\00:26:29.07 we needed to continue having sex but I told him no, 00:26:29.10\00:26:32.25 because I wanted to wait on Jesus 00:26:32.28\00:26:33.73 to let me know when I should. 00:26:33.76\00:26:35.32 Then he said, that if wanted to be with him 00:26:35.35\00:26:37.38 then we would have to have sex. 00:26:37.41\00:26:39.68 So I told him if he can't wait until marriage 00:26:39.71\00:26:42.76 then we don't need to be together. 00:26:42.79\00:26:44.30 So we broke up because I wanted to be here. 00:26:44.33\00:26:46.50 Amen. 00:26:46.53\00:26:47.56 And now I'm with someone who respects me 00:26:47.59\00:26:49.30 and we are waiting until marriage to have sex. 00:26:49.33\00:26:51.22 Amen. That's just a beautiful-- 00:26:51.25\00:26:52.84 Amen. Praise God. 00:26:52.87\00:26:54.47 Yeah, beautiful testimony there, you know, 00:26:54.50\00:26:55.64 it just reminding us that, you know, 00:26:55.67\00:26:56.99 these young people 00:26:57.02\00:26:58.05 they're making commitments they can do it, 00:26:58.08\00:26:59.64 you know, and everyone who is watching, 00:26:59.67\00:27:02.18 everyone who is hearing this, 00:27:02.21\00:27:03.50 reading the Word of God they can do it as well. 00:27:03.53\00:27:06.07 God has something a special design for all of us 00:27:06.10\00:27:09.29 and has someone special designed for all of us 00:27:09.32\00:27:11.13 and if we wait on the Lord 00:27:11.16\00:27:13.08 He is gonna give us what we need. 00:27:13.11\00:27:14.55 Yeah. 00:27:14.58\00:27:15.64 I'm gonna end this with reading this 00:27:15.67\00:27:17.82 from 1 Corinthians 6:13 it says 00:27:17.85\00:27:21.19 "The body is not meant 00:27:21.22\00:27:22.40 for sexual immorality but for the Lord." 00:27:22.43\00:27:26.41 And so all those who are watching, 00:27:26.44\00:27:29.29 remember to honor God with your body 00:27:29.32\00:27:30.95 because you belong to God, no one else, 00:27:30.98\00:27:33.24 you don't belong to Satan, 00:27:33.27\00:27:34.36 you don't belong to anyone else, 00:27:34.39\00:27:35.56 you belong to God and that's should be your first priority. 00:27:35.59\00:27:38.79 So we thank you all so much for this discussion, 00:27:38.82\00:27:40.89 a lively discussion, a good discussion, 00:27:40.92\00:27:42.68 and we have a lot more to discuss keep it going, 00:27:42.71\00:27:45.58 but that's our program for today and always remember 00:27:45.61\00:27:48.42 no matter what make pure choices. 00:27:48.45\00:27:51.51 Thank you. 00:27:51.54\00:27:52.66