The following program
discusses sensitive issues.
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Parents are cautioned
that some material may be
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too candid for younger children.
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Hello, and
welcome to "Pure Choices."
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I'm your host
Pastor Joshua Nelson
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and I'm so glad
you decide to join us.
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We have another
exiting topic this is,
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"Who Invented Sex
part-2," yes, part-2.
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And so we're gonna get
right into this discussion.
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Before we do I'm
going to introduce
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our panel once again.
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To my left I
have Mr. Kean Baxter,
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who is our scholar here,
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he is a graduate from
Andrews Theological Seminary.
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He is just got
finished it with his M.Div.
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So happy to have him here.
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We also have
Pastor Marquis Jackson,
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who is the Pastor
there in Manning in Sumter
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with Berea and Maranatha.
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The Seventh-day
Adventist Church district there
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and with that South
Atlantic Conference.
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Amen. Yes, sir.
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Yes, sir. Yes, sir.
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And then we have Jeanne Mogusu,
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who is in the seminary,
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the theological
seminary and she is the BSAS
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or Black Student
Association president
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and she is a also PhD--
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Candidate?
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Candidate right. Yeah, yeah.
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So happy to have you here.
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Another scholar
you know, in our myths.
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Then we have
Pastor Kory Douglas,
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who pastors the Grand
Avenue and New Life Fellowship,
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SDA Church is there
in Southeast Missouri
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who is with the
Central States Conferences.
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So we have a great
panel again for you this day.
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And so we're gonna
talk about this subject now
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of really talking
about who invented sex
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but really more about
what is sex and is sex a sin?
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You know, because a lot of
young people think that well,
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they hear sex being
a taboo in the churches
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and they told
not to talk about it
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and so sometimes
that have you often
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heard them say well,
is it wrong to have sex?
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So let's talk about that.
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The problem is
this with us as a church
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we have now been
real about situations.
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Okay.
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As a child growing
up I used to you know,
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going to church and you know,
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hearing preachers
talking various things
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and which you're
not supposed to do
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and but as I will go to church
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and I will look at
husbands and wife's
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sitting next to each other
and you'll see their children.
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And of course,
I'm a child you know,
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and it's like well,
how did the child come?
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Well, it
definitely if we just believe
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that was only
through a store they know.
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So then there is
actually sex is happening
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between husband and wife.
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And we have a church have
not done what we need to do.
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Because the problem is
if we're not gonna be real
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and relevant and speak
to them in a correct way
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then definitely there gonna go
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find out throughout the streets,
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in the communities
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and
neighborhoods that they go to.
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And if we don't do that
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then we're gonna
really loose this generation
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because the
generation has very difficult
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to bring them back,
we have to be relational.
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Yeah, that's a truth
and I'm happy you say that
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because that we want
to make sure it's clear
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that sex should be
within a marriage relationships.
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Well, now the question
is and I'm trying to be real
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to this in generation
well, what is included in sex?
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You know, is it just
about the intercourse,
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what does that
exclude anal or oral
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you know what
is included in sex?
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We know that's a
that's a big question
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and it's definitely
an important question.
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You know, I can't even speak
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from personal
experience you know,
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when they tell
you don't have sex,
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you kind of feel like
what everything else is okay.
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You know, especially
you know, you can kiss,
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you know, you can hug
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and so you kind of
think that you know,
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anything a
little right after that
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or anything between that and--
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and the actual
act of sex is okay.
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But you know, one--
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one professor had
said it like this,
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you know, God
indented for there to be
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what we call penetration
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or with the primary
or reproductive organs
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of male and female
and that anything else
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that involves that is also sex.
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Okay, and that even
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and then he went
so far as to say,
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that any thing out
side of just you know,
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involve in those
primary organs is a perversion
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even if what God had
indented in the first place,
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but because of those in organs
are involved that it is still,
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is still considered sex.
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And so we can't
skate on a line you know,
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I can tell you
from personal experience
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is a dangerous line to skate on.
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You know, and
just with anything.
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I believe we were talking
the other night and Marquis
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said something
about candy you know,
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and how only one
peace of candy might make
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you want the
whole a lot of candy.
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So you know, you
have to be careful
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about skating on the line
and even dulling the lines.
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Yeah, and honestly you know,
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we all know, we
all are young here,
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we know it is
tough to really be real
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and say I'm not
going to go any--
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and any avenue of
sex, you know, before,
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before marriage it's tough.
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So you know, I know,
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that maybe some people
don't want us to go here,
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but let's talk about
well, how far is too far?
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You know, because you know,
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in a dating relationship or
you're according to whatever
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the case maybe how
far really is too far?
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I mean, we want to have
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some type of
interaction don't you?
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That's a very good question
and I like what Kory said
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on that topic that we
are taught not to have sex
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but there are different ideas
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of what
constitutes sex like we said,
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a lot of people believe
that if there is no penetration
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then is not sex
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and then everything out
side of that is permissible.
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We're not taught
necessarily the principles of--
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what the standards of purity,
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why are we told not to have sex.
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So these are the things
that we need to understand.
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So let's really talk about
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into the some of the
principles and really is that
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really thinking
about how far is too far?
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You know, what
should be my principles
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while I'm there
with my-- my lady,
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you know, when I mean,
we're trying to get close.
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You know, I have--
I have a friend who,
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you know, I wish I could
say I learned this things
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when I was younger but
as I learned-- as I grow--
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as I've grown older,
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I have learned this things
and I have a friend of mine
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who he is recently engaged
and one thing that I've actually
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totally admired from his
relationship is when he was
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dating his
girlfriend he did not--
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they dated for period of
about three years I hope.
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Yeah, three years I
hope I'm getting this right.
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And for the first two
years of their relationship
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they did not even kiss
or and they did not even--
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their expression of
love was never verbal.
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Like he would never--
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he keep took that very seriously
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telling someone I love you.
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And so even spending the
way they spent time together,
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was very controlled
because he wanted to maintain
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this gaggle standard of purity.
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And his standard
was if God was not--
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if God was actually
present sitting right there
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next to him which you know,
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which He always is but if
He was aware of that, you know,
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being more aware of the
fact that God is sitting
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right next to you
what are you doing?
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If what you're doing you'd not
wanted to do in front of God.
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Then you probably not
doing something that you know,
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that is right.
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Given that God the one
who invented sex like we said,
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and He is the one
have gave us sex as a gift
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that suppose to be pleasurable.
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So if I'm doing
something with Kory
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and God is
sitting right next to me
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and I'm feeling kind
of all kinds of funny,
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you know, and then--
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then what I'm
doing I should stop.
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Well, you know I think
that's-- that's sounds good,
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you know, its
pretty ideal but you know,
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honestly you know,
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for person who
because member now,
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we told of making pure
choices where the key men
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get irrational that
everyone is watching this show
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has not been
making pure choices,
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in their life or has already
been in situations you know,
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may have been promiscuous
or whatever the case is
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and I can tell
you from my experience
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someone having experience
making out for instance,
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you know, when
get into relationship
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you kind a you'll
gonna want to make out.
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You know, when you've experience
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certain things in relationship
setting you gonna want
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keep experiencing
that even though you have
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now made a decision
that I'm going to be pure.
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And so we got to
keep that in mind.
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One of the-- and
this is actually perfect.
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One of the things I
love, one of the verses I love
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especially when it comes
to satisfaction you know,
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probably I gonna say
it's on another episode.
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Is a when Paul says make
no provisions for your flesh.
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Because you know,
remember now because well,
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we're talking about now
turning around pure choices
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it's more being converted
going to different direction,
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you know, we know
that we are ideal God
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is gonna work on us,
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we gonna pray for taking
the desires out of our heart,
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but I believe that
they are things that we do
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in that process that
doesn't make us necessarily
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better but it-- it you know,
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it doesn't go against what
God is doing already in us.
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So we don't make
provisions for our flesh.
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So for me personally I don't
put myself in the situations
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that I know will
bring about those desires.
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If you want to be
practical you know,
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you don't date
but don't be alone.
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You know, don't invite someone
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over to your
house late at night,
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and say let watch the
movie at 11'oclock you know,
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as one of my
professor use to say,
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that's around to
be witching hour.
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You know, that's just
the time when the night
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where certain
things got to your mind.
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And so don't be
alone with these people
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at that certain time.
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You know, you can grab
on the principles like that.
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You know, don't make any
provisions for the flesh.
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The place is where you
know at you are struggling
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that you are weak
try to keep yourself
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as much as possible
away from those things.
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Well, I mean, and
I'm gonna go the Kean
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and say but giving that
is also a very hard thing.
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It's not easy.
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Especially when you
know, you say really want
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to spend time with someone,
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you want to spend a
lot of time with them,
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and you know, you starts
spending that time with them
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later and later and it
just kind of get out of hand.
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But you pose an
interesting thing
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go ahead, go ahead.
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I was gonna say, the
question how far is too far?
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It actually might
be the wrong question.
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Say you are married,
and you ask your spouse
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what's the least I
can do to make you happy?
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Well, we're still
married, we're still okay.
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So it's like
it's how far can I--
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how much can I get away with?
00:10:13.13\00:10:14.33
Yeah. Yeah.
00:10:14.36\00:10:15.40
So, we know that Jesus loves us,
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He died for us and He saved
us He's given so much for us
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and I think this is why
your relationship with Jesus
00:10:23.56\00:10:26.85
has to guide every question,
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every choice into
your life and He will show
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what pleases Him and He
realizes the standard is high,
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but He is given
Himself for us to--
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He asked us to
die lay down our lives
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and He will raises up in Him
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so that those
standards could be met.
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Well, you know, if
I could have quickly
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I think one of the issues
that face is that you know,
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well, we are
taught what relationship
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looks like through the
media, through you know,
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all these different avenues.
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We're not taught
what Jeanne described.
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You know, we're thought
that certain things happen
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within the dating process that
if you date, you have to kiss.
00:11:01.41\00:11:04.90
If you date you
have to hold hands.
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If you date you
have to be cuddled up.
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You know, people who
date they do these things
00:11:09.38\00:11:11.25
and I think that part of
that is having that stuff
00:11:11.28\00:11:14.00
embedded in us to believe.
00:11:14.03\00:11:15.91
In the journey,
form where you are go out
00:11:15.94\00:11:19.12
and meet check yes or
no, to will you marry me?
00:11:19.15\00:11:21.34
That in that process
that there is some things
00:11:21.37\00:11:23.13
we have to do,
00:11:23.16\00:11:24.57
but we don't have to do
those things as we learn.
00:11:24.60\00:11:26.50
So you're saying
that you only have
00:11:26.53\00:11:28.20
to necessarily hold hands?
00:11:28.23\00:11:30.08
You'll have to do.
00:11:30.11\00:11:31.17
I'm not gonna say I
won't because I will hold hands
00:11:31.20\00:11:33.09
but I'm-- you don't have to.
00:11:33.12\00:11:35.24
Then it's possible that we've--
00:11:35.27\00:11:36.87
as we've learned
for that not to happen
00:11:36.90\00:11:38.46
and I think it
goes back to something
00:11:38.49\00:11:40.86
we've discussed privately
about the fact that you know,
00:11:40.89\00:11:43.34
God really
playing an important role
00:11:43.37\00:11:45.57
in the relationship.
00:11:45.60\00:11:46.67
It can't just be all
about what you wanted
00:11:46.70\00:11:48.35
with the person wants
00:11:48.38\00:11:49.44
and that's
something we can't leave out.
00:11:49.47\00:11:50.97
It's got to be about, you
know, how much does God play?
00:11:51.00\00:11:54.68
How much of a part of
God play in my relationship,
00:11:54.71\00:11:57.48
you know, and how
much do my desires
00:11:57.51\00:11:58.66
lined up with His desires?
00:11:58.69\00:12:00.06
And that the church has a
vital role to play in this
00:12:00.09\00:12:03.79
because like you said,
00:12:03.82\00:12:05.27
these are the pictures
of course of dating all that
00:12:05.30\00:12:09.23
we're getting
from media and society
00:12:09.26\00:12:12.09
which says that
you're exclusive,
00:12:12.12\00:12:15.94
boyfriend,
girlfriends can sleep over,
00:12:15.97\00:12:17.90
they sleep in the same bed,
00:12:17.93\00:12:19.55
all these misconceptions
these are erroneous.
00:12:19.58\00:12:24.01
So that church lets step up
00:12:24.04\00:12:26.26
and to paint the
picture how it should work?
00:12:26.29\00:12:29.39
There should be
older, wiser people,
00:12:29.42\00:12:31.56
people were experiencing
mature they help young people,
00:12:31.59\00:12:34.10
navigate because it's a very
murky area to navigate alone.
00:12:34.13\00:12:40.24
Yes, that is so
true and here we go now
00:12:40.27\00:12:42.16
to our next part of it
because here you are now,
00:12:42.19\00:12:44.34
let's make it practical,
00:12:44.37\00:12:45.58
you there sitting with
you're sniffing in other,
00:12:45.61\00:12:47.68
you kind of boot up,
00:12:47.71\00:12:49.01
closer little bit
cuddling you know,
00:12:49.04\00:12:50.60
in you get that
urge, you get that feeling.
00:12:50.63\00:12:52.58
You know, you want
to now may be see test
00:12:52.61\00:12:55.12
waters of kissing
on them little bit
00:12:55.15\00:12:57.76
and then you
remember this program.
00:12:57.79\00:13:00.00
You remember that, we said,
00:13:00.03\00:13:01.73
you know, to not do that,
to not to go down that road.
00:13:01.76\00:13:04.97
And even more specifically
what the Bible said,
00:13:05.00\00:13:06.21
what Jesus says,
and looking at really
00:13:06.24\00:13:08.16
what it says in
1 Corinthians 6:18
00:13:08.19\00:13:10.75
Paul talking to
Corinthians he says,
00:13:10.78\00:13:11.85
"Flee from sexual immorality."
00:13:11.88\00:13:13.85
So you know, here you
are now you supposed to flee
00:13:13.88\00:13:16.92
but I do like the fact
that it also says in the Bible
00:13:16.95\00:13:19.21
that if you resists the
devil he will flee from you.
00:13:19.24\00:13:21.41
So if you are fleeing
and the devil is fleeing you
00:13:21.44\00:13:23.29
just gonna be
totally you know, out of way.
00:13:23.32\00:13:25.47
But really though
looking at this thing
00:13:25.50\00:13:28.38
why then is God telling us
to flee from sexual immorality?
00:13:28.41\00:13:33.78
You know, first of all He says
flee from sexual immorality,
00:13:33.81\00:13:36.14
it does not say, flee from sex.
00:13:36.17\00:13:37.72
Okay.
00:13:37.75\00:13:38.81
When it's to a husband and wife
00:13:38.84\00:13:40.20
that's God made
them to be that way.
00:13:40.23\00:13:42.33
It's fine.
00:13:42.36\00:13:43.72
Since fleeing from
sexual immorality you know,
00:13:43.75\00:13:46.46
in my area I live in Sumter,
00:13:46.49\00:13:47.69
I have a church
in Manning as well
00:13:47.72\00:13:49.68
and there is a church not
too far away from us in Colombia
00:13:49.71\00:13:52.51
that they have a
prospective of focus
00:13:52.54\00:13:54.83
and talking about keeping,
00:13:54.86\00:13:56.32
it's called "Keep the Cookie."
00:13:56.35\00:13:58.35
And when we look
in that prospective
00:13:58.38\00:14:00.67
and how to keep yourself
pure, it's kind of things
00:14:00.70\00:14:02.81
because when we look at
how they manufacture furniture,
00:14:02.84\00:14:06.31
there is a couch
and is also a loveseat.
00:14:06.34\00:14:09.74
I know when I'm
saying about someone
00:14:09.77\00:14:11.58
and if I'm saying
about female, and I like her,
00:14:11.61\00:14:15.31
there is three
portions there is--
00:14:15.34\00:14:17.85
if I'm sitting here
and she is sitting here
00:14:17.88\00:14:18.99
that's not was--
00:14:19.02\00:14:20.21
that's not what
the prospective is.
00:14:20.24\00:14:21.92
But there is
something called a loveseat
00:14:21.95\00:14:24.04
and so when a guy and a
girl sit in the loveseat
00:14:24.07\00:14:26.27
it implicates of
loveseat is love.
00:14:26.30\00:14:29.46
So now when they sit in that--
00:14:29.49\00:14:31.54
when they sitting
in that those places--
00:14:31.57\00:14:33.66
"loveseat" and they
hang around each other
00:14:33.69\00:14:36.13
and the fragrance that he wears
00:14:36.16\00:14:37.59
and the fragrance that she wears
00:14:37.62\00:14:39.14
and the things that they do
00:14:39.17\00:14:40.73
if they are
boyfriend and girlfriend
00:14:40.76\00:14:42.51
or they have so they might
just be friends with benefits
00:14:42.54\00:14:46.46
if they finally
themselves in situation
00:14:46.49\00:14:47.96
and it goes away for the
rest of that person's life
00:14:47.99\00:14:51.18
they gonna have to
deal with those things
00:14:51.21\00:14:52.88
because there is
a bond that goes on.
00:14:52.91\00:14:55.26
There is a bond
that attaches them.
00:14:55.29\00:14:57.01
So when they smell of
someone walking down the street
00:14:57.04\00:14:59.71
with that fragrance
it's gonna connect to them.
00:14:59.74\00:15:01.75
When they have these
various aspects of them
00:15:01.78\00:15:03.63
it's gonna connect them
00:15:03.66\00:15:04.69
and it's gonna be something
that they cannot separate,
00:15:04.72\00:15:07.25
it's gonna seal
them for life here.
00:15:07.28\00:15:09.61
That's what we should fear--
00:15:09.64\00:15:10.83
that's what we some type
flees from sexual immorality.
00:15:10.86\00:15:14.10
Yeah, that's such a
good point and you know,
00:15:14.13\00:15:15.67
and I tell you that is
true, you right on target there.
00:15:15.70\00:15:18.61
And I also want to
say, you started talking
00:15:18.64\00:15:20.22
about friends
benefits we don't coincide
00:15:20.25\00:15:21.82
of that of course that does not.
00:15:21.85\00:15:23.09
That's not what
you shouldn't be,
00:15:23.12\00:15:25.15
you know, so Kory, go ahead.
00:15:25.18\00:15:26.94
I think that it goes back
to something we talked about
00:15:26.97\00:15:30.30
in part-1 and you
know, and what at the--
00:15:30.33\00:15:32.43
what is that crux of the issues
or relationship and the bond.
00:15:32.46\00:15:36.61
And that is that the bond
should exists with God first.
00:15:36.64\00:15:39.72
You know, and what we are taught
00:15:39.75\00:15:41.70
through every other
avenue except for the church
00:15:41.73\00:15:43.54
is that we should
bond to each other.
00:15:43.57\00:15:45.42
Go out there and find
the one who completes you.
00:15:45.45\00:15:47.94
Go out there and find the person
00:15:47.97\00:15:49.00
who makes you better.
00:15:49.03\00:15:50.11
Go out there and find the person
00:15:50.14\00:15:51.17
who you feel
more compatible with.
00:15:51.20\00:15:52.65
We never really
talk about the fact
00:15:52.68\00:15:53.99
that we should trust
God to make these decisions.
00:15:54.02\00:15:56.78
So when we get on the
couch that's Pastor Nelson,
00:15:56.81\00:15:59.50
right, when the
young lady is on the couch
00:15:59.53\00:16:00.59
and I've heard young lady
say stuff like this before.
00:16:00.62\00:16:02.82
I was with him, I was
alone and he started kissing me
00:16:02.85\00:16:06.48
and I just
didn't know what to do.
00:16:06.51\00:16:07.58
I thought it was expected
of me to do these things
00:16:07.61\00:16:10.25
and then next
you know, you know,
00:16:10.28\00:16:11.69
next you know, we are undressed
00:16:11.72\00:16:13.60
and I just thought
this is what comes next,
00:16:13.63\00:16:15.80
you know, but and
then I won't say no
00:16:15.83\00:16:18.72
because if I say no,
I'll destroy that bond
00:16:18.75\00:16:21.12
that we have and he
might want to leave me.
00:16:21.15\00:16:23.77
If I flee the
situation all together he will,
00:16:23.80\00:16:26.71
like you said,
he might flee too.
00:16:26.74\00:16:28.54
And so we're
afraid of that situation
00:16:28.57\00:16:30.36
but if the basis
of the relationship
00:16:30.39\00:16:33.11
is trust in God
and your bond with God
00:16:33.14\00:16:35.72
then you'll be able
to say what if he flees
00:16:35.75\00:16:38.23
then it must be God's will.
00:16:38.26\00:16:39.42
Hey, hey, if he
flees may be he is a--
00:16:39.45\00:16:41.64
the devil, may be he is a devil.
00:16:41.67\00:16:43.03
Right.
00:16:43.06\00:16:44.38
So he is in
premarital stage, you know.
00:16:44.41\00:16:46.24
Because you're opposing
the standards of the Bible.
00:16:46.27\00:16:47.70
Exactly.
00:16:47.73\00:16:50.47
God says, flee-- the Bible says,
00:16:50.50\00:16:54.11
flee youthful lusts
because it's so powerful,
00:16:54.14\00:16:59.99
it's a natural
desire He put it in us.
00:17:00.02\00:17:02.99
It's a-- sin is trying to meet
00:17:03.02\00:17:06.42
a legitimate need in
a legitimate way out.
00:17:06.45\00:17:09.23
He realizes the power of
it so this is why just keep,
00:17:09.26\00:17:12.43
it's like you get two magnets
you know close together--
00:17:12.46\00:17:15.84
close you get together
is hard to keep them apart
00:17:15.87\00:17:18.46
and it just the force
that draws them together.
00:17:18.49\00:17:21.65
So when you're alone
together like you'd scenario
00:17:21.68\00:17:24.44
gave on the couch it's--
00:17:24.47\00:17:27.07
and it's a natural
progression that honestly
00:17:27.10\00:17:29.20
God did not design us to fight
00:17:29.23\00:17:31.14
and this is why you're
are kept apart in olden days,
00:17:31.17\00:17:35.74
you know, girls
and boys are kept apart
00:17:35.77\00:17:37.98
until they were
ready for that next step.
00:17:38.01\00:17:42.77
But like what
Kory said I like to--
00:17:42.80\00:17:44.44
you have to be bonded to
God first but also the church.
00:17:44.47\00:17:48.84
God wants to
church to be a family.
00:17:48.87\00:17:51.20
He says, keep the bond of peace.
00:17:51.23\00:17:53.37
So, you don't have
to fight that alone,
00:17:53.40\00:17:56.39
you have-- if your
parents aren't there
00:17:56.42\00:17:59.27
you have older
people in the church,
00:17:59.30\00:18:02.14
accountability partners
that help you in this process,
00:18:02.17\00:18:05.13
so you don't get
stuck by yourself.
00:18:05.16\00:18:06.91
Yeah, and God really
knows-- knows all of that.
00:18:06.94\00:18:09.08
You know, He has a--
00:18:09.11\00:18:10.89
that's why He
tells us to flee from it.
00:18:10.92\00:18:12.87
Yeah, and I just want to go back
00:18:12.90\00:18:14.34
to what Marquis was saying,
00:18:14.37\00:18:16.71
you know, about this
bonding that goes on,
00:18:16.74\00:18:19.26
there is a lot
that goes on in the--
00:18:19.29\00:18:21.60
in the sexual realm, you know,
00:18:21.63\00:18:24.02
you have a lot of not
just physical things going on
00:18:24.05\00:18:27.10
but also
physiological and psychological
00:18:27.13\00:18:29.21
and even neurological changes
that are going on in your body,
00:18:29.24\00:18:32.50
there are
hormones that are secreted
00:18:32.53\00:18:34.07
that literally are designed
to bond you with that person.
00:18:34.10\00:18:39.31
And that's why when
you're walking down the street
00:18:39.34\00:18:41.96
and a sudden fragrance you know,
00:18:41.99\00:18:44.29
like Marquis is
talking about, you know,
00:18:44.32\00:18:46.00
hits you it
reminds you some one.
00:18:46.03\00:18:48.34
Human beings are
sensual beings, you know,
00:18:48.37\00:18:52.33
that's why God
gave us five senses.
00:18:52.36\00:18:54.43
You know, and
when you are, you know,
00:18:54.46\00:18:57.99
meeting legitimate
needs in illegitimate ways
00:18:58.02\00:19:02.81
then you're literally bonding
yourself with someone who--
00:19:02.84\00:19:05.99
with whom you cannot sustain
00:19:06.02\00:19:10.85
that
relationship as it should be.
00:19:10.88\00:19:13.25
So here I'm bonded with
Marquis and Kean, and Kory,
00:19:13.28\00:19:17.51
and when I finally get married
to the person I'm suppose to,
00:19:17.54\00:19:21.36
it's like I have
a mix mash of bonds
00:19:21.39\00:19:24.01
that I literally
need to tear away
00:19:24.04\00:19:26.84
before I can
literally commit to the person
00:19:26.87\00:19:29.31
I should be I'm married to.
00:19:29.34\00:19:32.55
In practical
ways, that is not easy.
00:19:32.58\00:19:33.87
It's not.
00:19:33.90\00:19:34.95
That's something you
don't want people to go through
00:19:34.98\00:19:36.02
because it's tough.
00:19:36.05\00:19:37.09
It's that bond is suppose--
00:19:37.12\00:19:38.37
is beautiful because it
suppose to be with your spouse.
00:19:38.40\00:19:41.96
Your spouse.
00:19:41.99\00:19:43.02
And you know well, real quick,
real quick and really quick.
00:19:43.05\00:19:45.81
What she is saying is true
because and only to realize is
00:19:45.84\00:19:48.57
even though it's
hard to flee with us,
00:19:48.60\00:19:51.09
for what I understand
talking to married folk,
00:19:51.12\00:19:52.83
a recently married it's
even hard to break those bonds
00:19:52.86\00:19:56.06
that you formed
before you got married.
00:19:56.09\00:19:57.65
So that's why we're
saying don't even make
00:19:57.68\00:19:59.30
those bonds you know,
way on to your marriage.
00:19:59.33\00:20:01.66
Yeah, pastor.
00:20:01.69\00:20:03.07
I need to
challenge not the church,
00:20:03.10\00:20:05.99
I need to challenge parents.
00:20:06.02\00:20:08.15
Because the problem is
I see is that when we--
00:20:08.18\00:20:11.41
people go to church
most people didn't go
00:20:11.44\00:20:13.52
to prayer meeting.
00:20:13.55\00:20:14.79
So you now have a
approximately two hours
00:20:14.82\00:20:16.76
out of a 168 hours in a week,
00:20:16.79\00:20:18.90
where parents have
been so comfortable thinking
00:20:18.93\00:20:22.00
that their
children's life will be changed
00:20:22.03\00:20:23.58
just by the church
when the static's tell us
00:20:23.61\00:20:27.45
that the number one influences
of the child or the parents.
00:20:27.48\00:20:30.91
Now, yes, a church
does have responsibility
00:20:30.94\00:20:33.37
but even more
importantly does a parent
00:20:33.40\00:20:35.41
have the
responsibility it could--
00:20:35.44\00:20:37.27
it could be a two
people husband and wife,
00:20:37.30\00:20:40.21
mother and father,
00:20:40.24\00:20:41.36
it could be one a
mother or a father.
00:20:41.39\00:20:43.64
But those that parent need--
00:20:43.67\00:20:45.47
those parents need
to be very much involved
00:20:45.50\00:20:47.89
in their children
and the church should be
00:20:47.92\00:20:50.16
used to supplement that.
00:20:50.19\00:20:52.02
And if we don't
do that supplementing
00:20:52.05\00:20:54.67
that process and we've--
00:20:54.70\00:20:56.01
and just think
the parents gonna do
00:20:56.04\00:20:57.95
and the parents
trusting the church gonna do it
00:20:57.98\00:20:59.66
we have now lost a
generation of people
00:20:59.69\00:21:01.38
who don't know where to
go because gangs will do it.
00:21:01.41\00:21:05.35
Oh, yeah. Yeah.
00:21:05.38\00:21:07.11
TV will do it, CDs will do it,
00:21:07.14\00:21:09.85
friends will do it and
will enter into their minds
00:21:09.88\00:21:12.66
and seeing to their minds
what should they should do
00:21:12.69\00:21:14.57
because they are used
to hearing it's in a while.
00:21:14.60\00:21:16.74
This is expected of me,
I'm gonna have to go that far.
00:21:16.77\00:21:18.68
Yeah.
00:21:18.71\00:21:19.74
And let's just be
real because you know,
00:21:19.77\00:21:21.62
it's hard for us
to really get this
00:21:21.65\00:21:23.63
because its
become so normal for us
00:21:23.66\00:21:25.81
just to act on our
urges, just to have sex,
00:21:25.84\00:21:28.63
to be intimate before marriage
00:21:28.66\00:21:31.05
and reality is isn't the church.
00:21:31.08\00:21:32.74
Yeah, definitely, yeah.
It's the new culture now.
00:21:32.77\00:21:34.83
Let's just be
realistic you know,
00:21:34.86\00:21:36.89
let the cat out of the bag.
00:21:36.92\00:21:38.73
A lot of people in
the church are having sex
00:21:38.76\00:21:41.13
before their marriage, you know,
00:21:41.16\00:21:43.13
more than you realize.
00:21:43.16\00:21:44.83
And you know, I didn't realize,
00:21:44.86\00:21:46.03
it is a part of
the underlining culture
00:21:46.06\00:21:48.70
they just expect
it for you to do.
00:21:48.73\00:21:50.57
So really what I'm
gonna ask now is first of all
00:21:50.60\00:21:53.13
have we lowered our
standards as Christians?
00:21:53.16\00:21:55.02
So what I been
really saying is wrong
00:21:55.05\00:21:57.05
and is there any excuse
we can say what we can--
00:21:57.08\00:22:00.84
we should be able
to do it because hey,
00:22:00.87\00:22:02.41
it is hard to be pure.
00:22:02.44\00:22:05.25
Most churches, denomination wise
00:22:05.28\00:22:08.04
have a church right here
00:22:08.07\00:22:09.92
and homes not too
far away from churches
00:22:09.95\00:22:12.11
so you have a lot of people
who grow up in a community
00:22:12.14\00:22:14.85
and they go to the church.
00:22:14.88\00:22:16.47
In Seventh-day Adventist culture
00:22:16.50\00:22:17.80
we don't have a lot of
churches in our cities,
00:22:17.83\00:22:20.58
so people may go to
church but they live far away
00:22:20.61\00:22:23.87
and in mindset it also
has been implicated on this--
00:22:23.90\00:22:27.45
on the younger people is
that once they go to church
00:22:27.48\00:22:30.15
they go home
they don't come back.
00:22:30.18\00:22:32.05
So no longer do we have
that village to raising children
00:22:32.08\00:22:34.69
we decide people go
in their separate ways.
00:22:34.72\00:22:36.65
So I'll
necessary says that the--
00:22:36.68\00:22:39.14
about the church in
fact I think a lot of times
00:22:39.17\00:22:40.99
is that we have
lost our responsibility
00:22:41.02\00:22:43.32
as supplementing
that and that's a problem.
00:22:43.35\00:22:46.48
I just want to say
something not only have we--
00:22:46.51\00:22:50.05
have we lowered our standards?
00:22:50.08\00:22:51.31
Yes, we have,
but I think one thing
00:22:51.34\00:22:54.20
that I don't want to just
to miss is that for the person
00:22:54.23\00:22:56.69
who is watching and
who has already been
00:22:56.72\00:22:59.20
in those situations we are
saying that it can be done.
00:22:59.23\00:23:03.05
You can make pure choices
00:23:03.08\00:23:05.08
and not just
that God does redeemed
00:23:05.11\00:23:08.18
what is taken
from you, you know,
00:23:08.21\00:23:11.54
God is in the
redeeming business.
00:23:11.57\00:23:13.26
So not-- yes,
00:23:13.29\00:23:14.78
we have abdicated
our responsibilities
00:23:14.81\00:23:16.91
but more than that
now that we are here
00:23:16.94\00:23:19.59
we are saying you
can live that life
00:23:19.62\00:23:21.94
and that you
should make this choices
00:23:21.97\00:23:23.80
and that going
forward these are--
00:23:23.83\00:23:26.67
these are some of the principles
00:23:26.70\00:23:27.73
that you can apply.
00:23:27.76\00:23:28.87
You can make provision in
your life not to read novels
00:23:28.90\00:23:34.06
that will excite
you so that when you do
00:23:34.09\00:23:36.62
get into a relationship
00:23:36.65\00:23:37.69
you kind of already
have a built in expectation
00:23:37.72\00:23:41.22
in your mind that this is what
I need to be doing you know.
00:23:41.25\00:23:44.81
You can stop watching
movies that will excite you
00:23:44.84\00:23:48.87
into doing things
that are not necessarily
00:23:48.90\00:23:51.20
where you want to go.
00:23:51.23\00:23:52.26
You can be a--
surround yourself with people
00:23:52.29\00:23:55.52
who build your
relationship with Christ
00:23:55.55\00:23:59.01
to more than they
encourage you to you know,
00:23:59.04\00:24:01.80
be slipping
around with other people.
00:24:01.83\00:24:03.67
Those are some of
the practical things
00:24:03.70\00:24:04.75
that we can do.
00:24:04.78\00:24:05.82
Yeah, that's
beautiful. You to, Kean.
00:24:05.85\00:24:07.78
So true, Jeanne, I
want to add to that
00:24:07.81\00:24:10.93
before all those things
00:24:10.96\00:24:13.03
that you mentioned
which are necessary,
00:24:13.06\00:24:15.20
there has to be a
foundation because,
00:24:15.23\00:24:17.45
I mean, I can
speak from my experience
00:24:17.48\00:24:19.86
you don't have to go
out looking for a sin,
00:24:19.89\00:24:21.57
sin will come and find you.
00:24:21.60\00:24:23.42
Reminding your own
business and it says,
00:24:23.45\00:24:25.65
hi, you remembered me?
00:24:25.68\00:24:29.35
But so what has to happen
is because this is something
00:24:29.38\00:24:32.98
that we can run from, it says,
00:24:33.01\00:24:35.73
flee useful lust but it's in
us this desire for procreation
00:24:35.76\00:24:40.72
that God put us into our
fore parents Adam and Eve
00:24:40.75\00:24:44.07
and it's been passed down to
all our children, it's in us.
00:24:44.10\00:24:46.73
So how do we flee when
it's when it's inside of us?
00:24:46.76\00:24:49.65
So this is where it's
important to understand
00:24:49.68\00:24:52.85
that God needs us to die
00:24:52.88\00:24:55.42
and it's Christ
that gives us the power.
00:24:55.45\00:24:57.54
We can make all
of the provisions,
00:24:57.57\00:25:00.67
we can through out our TV,
00:25:00.70\00:25:01.92
we can through out our internet,
00:25:01.95\00:25:04.38
and we won't change it because
our nature it's in our DNA.
00:25:04.41\00:25:10.32
We don't know, a
lot of times our parents
00:25:10.35\00:25:11.71
won't talk about us--
00:25:11.74\00:25:12.84
to us about sex
because of the mistakes
00:25:12.87\00:25:14.51
that they've made and the shame.
00:25:14.54\00:25:16.54
And this is one of the reasons
00:25:16.57\00:25:17.71
why we don't talk
about it in church
00:25:17.74\00:25:18.91
because like you said they'll--
00:25:18.94\00:25:20.88
because we can't
reach the standard,
00:25:20.91\00:25:23.96
we lower it so because its okay,
00:25:23.99\00:25:25.98
I've reached it because
now it's here instead of here.
00:25:26.01\00:25:29.19
So this is why death to self,
00:25:29.22\00:25:33.08
new life accepting new
life that Christ gives us,
00:25:33.11\00:25:36.53
living in Him that's the only
way that we can have success.
00:25:36.56\00:25:41.15
Amen. And that's
the way to wrap it up.
00:25:41.18\00:25:43.18
You know, we
really have to make sure
00:25:43.21\00:25:44.65
that we're being proactive,
we are preparing ourselves.
00:25:44.68\00:25:47.23
Because you know these
things are going to happen,
00:25:47.26\00:25:48.82
you know, even us
when we leave here,
00:25:48.85\00:25:50.42
you know, these
things are gonna--
00:25:50.45\00:25:51.79
Satan is gonna try to
attack us with these things.
00:25:51.82\00:25:54.03
And so we have to know
that we have to be prepared
00:25:54.06\00:25:57.74
even with our civic and
others to even plan out the time
00:25:57.77\00:26:00.51
we're gonna spend with them,
00:26:00.54\00:26:01.57
so we won't fall into
these-- these traps, you know.
00:26:01.60\00:26:03.64
I want to just read this
testimony that I received
00:26:03.67\00:26:05.19
from one of the
young people at my church,
00:26:05.22\00:26:06.85
who recently got baptized.
00:26:06.88\00:26:07.93
She says, I'm
18-year-old young lady,
00:26:07.96\00:26:10.42
I just got baptized this year
00:26:10.45\00:26:11.97
and I made a
commitment to stop having sex.
00:26:12.00\00:26:14.16
The things that helped
me was talking to Jesus
00:26:14.19\00:26:16.41
and being faithful to
myself about being Christian.
00:26:16.44\00:26:18.92
My situation
involved my boyfriend
00:26:18.95\00:26:20.98
who I was having sex with until
I got my life turned around,
00:26:21.01\00:26:24.32
and I ran from the situation.
00:26:24.35\00:26:26.05
But recently we
talked and he told me that
00:26:26.08\00:26:29.07
we needed to continue
having sex but I told him no,
00:26:29.10\00:26:32.25
because I
wanted to wait on Jesus
00:26:32.28\00:26:33.73
to let me know when I should.
00:26:33.76\00:26:35.32
Then he said, that
if wanted to be with him
00:26:35.35\00:26:37.38
then we would have to have sex.
00:26:37.41\00:26:39.68
So I told him if he
can't wait until marriage
00:26:39.71\00:26:42.76
then we don't
need to be together.
00:26:42.79\00:26:44.30
So we broke up
because I wanted to be here.
00:26:44.33\00:26:46.50
Amen.
00:26:46.53\00:26:47.56
And now I'm with
someone who respects me
00:26:47.59\00:26:49.30
and we are waiting
until marriage to have sex.
00:26:49.33\00:26:51.22
Amen. That's just a beautiful--
00:26:51.25\00:26:52.84
Amen. Praise God.
00:26:52.87\00:26:54.47
Yeah, beautiful
testimony there, you know,
00:26:54.50\00:26:55.64
it just reminding
us that, you know,
00:26:55.67\00:26:56.99
these young people
00:26:57.02\00:26:58.05
they're making
commitments they can do it,
00:26:58.08\00:26:59.64
you know, and
everyone who is watching,
00:26:59.67\00:27:02.18
everyone who is hearing this,
00:27:02.21\00:27:03.50
reading the Word of
God they can do it as well.
00:27:03.53\00:27:06.07
God has something a
special design for all of us
00:27:06.10\00:27:09.29
and has someone
special designed for all of us
00:27:09.32\00:27:11.13
and if we wait on the Lord
00:27:11.16\00:27:13.08
He is gonna
give us what we need.
00:27:13.11\00:27:14.55
Yeah.
00:27:14.58\00:27:15.64
I'm gonna end
this with reading this
00:27:15.67\00:27:17.82
from 1 Corinthians 6:13 it says
00:27:17.85\00:27:21.19
"The body is not meant
00:27:21.22\00:27:22.40
for sexual
immorality but for the Lord."
00:27:22.43\00:27:26.41
And so all those
who are watching,
00:27:26.44\00:27:29.29
remember to honor
God with your body
00:27:29.32\00:27:30.95
because you belong
to God, no one else,
00:27:30.98\00:27:33.24
you don't belong to Satan,
00:27:33.27\00:27:34.36
you don't belong to anyone else,
00:27:34.39\00:27:35.56
you belong to God and that's
should be your first priority.
00:27:35.59\00:27:38.79
So we thank you all so
much for this discussion,
00:27:38.82\00:27:40.89
a lively
discussion, a good discussion,
00:27:40.92\00:27:42.68
and we have a lot more
to discuss keep it going,
00:27:42.71\00:27:45.58
but that's our program
for today and always remember
00:27:45.61\00:27:48.42
no matter what
make pure choices.
00:27:48.45\00:27:51.51
Thank you.
00:27:51.54\00:27:52.66